All Too Human
by invalid-reality
Summary: Full summary inside...Set immediately after Chosen...Buffy/Faith
1. Chapter 1

Summary: After the fall of Sunnydale, they all find themselves searching for a place of their own in the world. Old friendships are reconnected, new ones are formed, and they find themselves growing as a family while facing the evil that lurks behind every dark corner.

Author's Notes: I've been working on this one on and off for the last month. I wanted to do another immediately post chosen fic and do it right this time around. I know there are plenty of fics that have this similar plot, but I'm doing it my way of course. Hope you all enjoy the first chapter, would love to hear your thoughts :)

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The bus rolled down the road; dusk was upon them now and the memories of Sunnydale were left behind. It had been nearly four hours since they all had defeated the First and the buzz from the fight had long died off. The bus was quiet aside from the soft whispers between the girls as they wondered what would happen next. Faith sat alone in the back, tapping her lighter aimlessly against her knee as she stared blankly out the window, thinking of just what _she_ would do next.

The only thing she could think about at that moment was finding a bed to sleep in. Her body was aching, her mind exhausted, and the adrenaline pumping through her veins was unlike anything she'd ever felt before. She didn't want to worry about Robin too much and that was why, after they'd been on the road for an hour, she'd made her way to the back of the bus to be alone.

With a soft sigh, she turned away from the window and let her eyes drift over the others around the bus. There were about a dozen of them and she could see Buffy sitting at the front talking quietly to Robin and Giles while Xander sat behind the wheel, relieving Giles from driving for a little while. They were heading north and they had yet to pass by any signs of civilization aside from the odd rest stop every twenty miles or so. From what she had overheard a half hour before, they were going to figure out what was going to happen as soon as they reached the next town.

Faith stretched out in the seat before resuming her slouched position, knees up against the back of the seat in front of her. She'd been thinking a lot since they got back on the bus. She declared to herself that she was going to start over as this was a new beginning for all of them. Whether she was going to be welcome to stick around with Buffy and the Scoobs, she didn't care. Either way, she'd find a place to go, a place to move forward in her life and leave her past as far behind as she could. She'd even considered heading down to LA to help Angel, but quickly scrapped that idea when she realized this was her time and her chance to prove she could go on with her redemption on her own.

Up ahead was a rest stop, the neon 'gas and food' sign flickering against the night sky. The two-lane highway had been empty aside from the odd car that passed by them. Faith was itching for a cigarette and she was already up and out of her seat by the time Xander pulled into the dirt parking lot and stopped next to the gas pumps. Those who weren't injured got off the bus to make a trip to the bathrooms and to grab some food from the small, dingy diner next to the gas station. Faith stood by the road and lit her cigarette, watching as the smoke curled up into the air.

"Can I bum one off of you?" Kennedy asked as she stood next to her. Faith said nothing as she offered her a cigarette and turned to look up at the stars in the sky. "Thanks."

"No problem," Faith shrugged as she put the pack back in her jacket pocket. "Didn't know you smoked."

"I don't, really. After the day we just had, I need something to calm down."

Faith just nodded, keeping her eyes trained on the stars above. She wasn't in the mood to talk and thankfully Kennedy noticed that and walked away, leaving her standing there alone. She turned to look back at the bus and then over at the diner. The girls who had gotten off the bus had scraped together some money of their own to buy as much food as they could afford. Even with the after effects of slaying, Faith couldn't work up an appetite. She was just too tired to care about food now. Xander and Giles were still on the bus from what she could see, making sure the injured girls and Robin were as comfortable as they could be.

Her eyes drifted over to the payphones where Buffy stood talking quietly to whomever she decided to call. Her first guess was Angel since none of them had contacted him to let him know they'd survived. It was the first time since she'd come back to Sunnydale to help them with the fight that Buffy looked less stressed. In fact, when she thought about it, Buffy had always seemed to be wound up too tight. She wondered if that would change now, but she had her doubts. Buffy would always be Buffy no matter where they were or what was happening in her life. It was just who she was. She had figured her out years ago, at least she thought she had, and so far they'd managed to avoid any fights that would ruin the little progress they'd made in the last week.

Faith turned back to face the deserted road, letting her thoughts wander and consume her. She tried not to think about Buffy. Those thoughts always led to anger and deeply rooted hate she was trying to get rid of. A fresh new start meant leaving those feelings behind and she was fully determined to stick to starting over, even if it destroyed everything she'd ever been. Her time in prison had given her a chance to reflect back on herself, and at those rare moments she was able to truly see what she'd become and she hated it. She didn't want to go back and Angel had briefly told her he would somehow take care of things so she wouldn't have to go back.

She took one last long drag of her cigarette before flicking it into the ditch. Taking a few deep breaths, she began walking back to the bus. Robin didn't look good. She could tell by the way that he kept shivering with every breath he took. He'd lost a lot of blood and from what she knew the worst of it had stopped, but he needed medical attention and he needed it hours ago. She sat in the seat behind him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"How are you feeling?"

"Horrible," he laughed softly.

"We're not far from the next town," Giles said quietly as he sat down in the driver's seat and turned to look at them. "An hour at most. As soon as Xander finishes fuelling, we'll be back on the road."

"What's the sitch with a place to stay for the night?" Faith asked as she leaned back in the seat and nervously picked at the small hole forming in her jeans just above the left knee. "I know we're all pretty much strapped for cash right now."

"I've got things covered," Giles responded calmly. "I made several phone calls throughout the last several days working out a plan just in case what happened in Sunnydale did indeed happen. In short," he paused as he took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose, clearly as exhausted as everyone else, "I've managed to get in contact with the few remaining members of the Council. I've had some funds transferred to an account."

"So, we're covered?"

"We are," he nodded. "I wouldn't worry about it, Faith. You can choose to stay with us for a while until you figure out what you want to do. The plan is to head to Cleveland and Buffy is already on board with the idea. If you would like, you can come along with us and give us a hand there. That Hellmouth is twice as active as Sunnydale and we will need all the help we can get."

"I'll tag along," she said after a moment. "I mean, if Buffy is cool with that."

"If I'm cool with what?" Buffy asked as she stepped back onto the bus.

"Cleveland," Faith replied as she looked up at her. "You cool with me coming along?"

"It's your decision. If you want to, I'm sure we could use your help there."

Her voice was cold; she was physically and emotionally exhausted, and it was clear she wasn't in the mood to talk just as much as Faith wasn't. She didn't let Buffy's mood affect her, the lack of enthusiasm understandable for a couple of reasons. One being the exhaustion from the fight against the First and the army of Turok-Han and the other being the fact that she knew Buffy wasn't too comfortable having her around again. For whatever reasons Buffy felt that way, she would respect that. She couldn't expect their overall relationship to change overnight.

Faith made her way to her seat at the back of the bus as the rest of the girls got back on, chattering happily now that they had food to fill their empty stomachs. She just closed her eyes and let the voices around her fade out as she looked forward only to climbing into a nice warm bed and sleeping for as long as she could. With everything she had gone through in the last several weeks, sleep was at the top of her list. Everything else such as a long, hot shower, a good meal, even a night of sex—with whomever she could find that would satisfy her urges and needs—would have to wait.

She dozed on and off for the next hour, opening her eyes just as Xander pulled up to the small hospital. She headed to the front of the bus and helped Giles get Robin off the bus and inside the small emergency room. The doctors and nurses there scrambled to get those injured into beds and get the medical attention they so desperately needed. Of all of them, Robin was the worst. The nurses informed Giles and Faith, who stood off to the side together, that Robin's chances of survival were low. She felt numb hearing that, numb because of those whispered promises Robin had made in that first hour they'd been on the road. Promises of surprising her, showing her what it was like to be with a real man instead of the scumbags she'd been with before.

She needed a cigarette, so she left the emergency room and headed for the bus. She stood near the back and lit a cigarette with a shaky hand. Those that weren't in need of medical care had stayed on the bus, but she hadn't seen Buffy, Dawn, Willow, or Xander inside, nor were they on the bus when she'd come out. Giles came outside a few minutes later and stood next to her as she took one long drag after the other.

"Is Wood gonna be okay?"

"I'm afraid we don't know yet. He's in quite bad shape. Only time will tell," Giles replied as he turned to look at her. He looked at loss for words as he gave her a sympathetic smile that even she could tell was forced.

"Damn."

"I'm going to take everyone else to the motel a couple blocks away in a few minutes. You didn't by any chance see..."

"No," she said quickly as she flicked her cigarette and quickly lit another.

"You wouldn't by any chance have..."

She tossed her pack of cigarettes to him before he had the chance to finish talking. He smiled again, this time it was more genuine as he took out a cigarette and leaned into the flame as she held it out to him. He nodded his thanks as he leaned against the bus and joined her in staring up at the stars in the sky. She knew how strained her relationship—no, acquaintance—was with everyone, but she had a glimmer of hope that maybe that would all begin to change.

"So, how long are we sticking around these parts for?" Faith asked, breaking the silence that had settled between them.

"A couple of days at most," Giles replied. "We all need some decent rest before we drive to Cleveland and unfortunately, I don't think the bus will make it there. Xander suggests we try to sell it and buy a van. It may just be the only way to get us there in one piece."

"Would be a little cramped with all of us, don't you think?"

"Not everyone is coming with us. Most of the girls, they er, they have families to go back to."

"So then it's just the Scoobs and us? Kennedy is coming, isn't she?"

"Unfortunately," Giles chuckled softly.

Faith laughed and took one last drag of her cigarette before flicking it to the ground. "She's really not all that bad; then again I haven't spent the last what, six months, in a house full of teenage girls."

Even in the short time she'd spent there, it'd driven her insane. The only time she managed to get some alone time was that night she spent in Buffy's bed after the explosion. It wasn't all bad, either; they'd hashed a few things out, yet they were still a long way from ever becoming what she'd consider friends. They had that chance years before and she'd gone and screwed that up the first chance she got. All in all, if she was going to stick with the decision to go along with them to Cleveland, they'd have plenty of opportunities to work through their past.

Just down the road she saw Buffy and the others walking out of a small restaurant carrying a couple bags of food. She just got back onto the bus and went back to her seat and sat down, anxiously tapping her lighter against her thigh as she waited for the others and Giles to get back on the bus. She just wanted to sleep and the level of exhaustion her body was going through was beginning to make her rather cranky. Her stomach growled when she smelled the burgers the others had brought back onto the bus and she rubbed her stomach, hoping the hunger pangs would go away.

The ride to the motel was a few short blocks across the small, sleeping town. Those left climbed off the bus and stood around outside while Giles and Willow went inside the office to get them all rooms for the night. Xander paced back and forth a couple of times before walking over to Faith and handing her a greasy bag.

"Thought you might be hungry," he said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Thanks," she smiled at him as she pulled the still warm and very greasy burger out of the bag and took a bite, her stomach growling in anticipation of finally being able to eat.

Xander smiled back at her as he leaned against the bus. Faith wasn't sure what to say to him, especially not after knowing he'd lost Anya during the fight. Her heart broke for him since she knew—at least from the things she'd heard from Angel and from listening to the whispers around the Summers' house—that he loved Anya more than anything else. Her heart broke for herself having never known what it was like to love anyone. She'd never loved her mother when her mother had been alive, nor had she loved any of the men or the women she'd randomly picked up in bars and clubs and brought back to her place for the night. She never had friends, so she didn't even know what that kind of love was like.

She was used to the loneliness in her life, the emptiness, and especially the darkness she was going to damn well make sure never crept back and took her over ever again. Her path to redemption would be a long one, but she'd make it since she knew she was strong enough to deal with whatever life would throw her way next. She couldn't just forget the past and move on, but she'd deal with her inner demons alone and work on becoming the person, the woman, she knew she could eventually be.

"Deep thoughts?" Xander asked as he flashed a lopsided grin her way when she blinked and looked over at him. "That deep, huh?"

"Whatever," she shrugged nonchalantly as she took another bite of the burger.

"Just tired?"

"Yeah."

"Aren't we all," Xander chuckled softly, pushing himself off the side of the bus as Giles and Willow came out of the office.

Giles gathered them all near the bus, explaining to them there weren't enough rooms to accommodate them all. Almost everyone paired off, got the keys to their rooms, and headed straight for them. Giles looked at Buffy, then over at Faith, and with a heavy sigh he motioned Faith to come closer.

"One room left, unfortunately."

"Great, we're roomies," Faith smirked at Buffy, hoping she'd detect the hint of sarcasm in her voice.

"It has two beds?" Buffy asked as she held out her hand for the key.

He nodded as he dropped the key into her hand and gave her a soft smile before walking to the room he'd be sharing with Andrew and Xander.

"Huh," Buffy exhaled as she and Faith walked to the last room on the far end of the small motel. "I don't want to talk to you, and I don't want to do anything but shower and sleep."

"Same here, B. Not gonna hear any arguments from me."

"Since we're staying here for a couple of days," she sighed as she stopped at the door and slid the key into the lock, "I don't want you bringing any strangers to the room. I know what you're like, Faith. I know that part of you hasn't changed."

"Whatever, wasn't gonna anyway."

Buffy just raised an eyebrow at her before she unlocked the door and stepped into the room first. Faith hovered in the doorway, watching as Buffy took off her jacket and placed it on the bed closest to the door. She let out a soft sigh as she walked to the other bed and sat down on the edge. She knew she should feel offended by what Buffy had said to her, but the truth did hurt sometimes and frankly she was just too tired to care. She untied her boots and slid them off, letting out a relieved sigh as she lay back on the bed.

"This sucks," Buffy said under her breath as she slid off her own boots and laid back on her bed. "We don't even have a change of clothes. Why didn't anyone bother packing anything?"

"Nobody knew the Hellmouth was gonna swallow up the whole town," Faith replied as she turned her head to look over at her. "Shit happens, right?"

Buffy said nothing more to her as she reached for the lamp that sat on the nightstand between the two beds and shut it off. Faith blinked a couple of times, giving her eyes a moment to adjust to the sudden darkness before she pulled back the covers and worked her way under them. It wasn't the most comfortable bed she'd ever slept on, but it didn't bother her. It wasn't like she'd ever slept on a comfortable bed in her life aside from the two nights she'd spent in Buffy's bed. Just thinking of that last night she'd spent there, having spent it with Robin, made the tears she'd been fighting back begin to fall.

She knew he wouldn't make it through the night. She bit back the choked sob that dared escape, not wanting Buffy to hear her cry. She had no idea what made Robin different from everyone else she'd ever been with and that sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach told her she never would know. She rolled over onto her stomach and buried her face into the pillow, hoping to stop the tears that continued to fall. She wasn't just crying over Robin, they were tears of sadness, of uncertainty, and a few were tears of happiness and relief that most of them had lived through what had been the biggest fight of their lives.

With her thoughts running rampant through her mind, even as exhausted as she was, she knew sleep was far off. She slipped out of bed and walked to the small bathroom, closing the door quietly behind her before she flipped on the light. She couldn't even look at herself in the mirror. She hated seeing herself looking so vulnerable, so weak. She turned on the tap and splashed some water over her face, sighing as she let the last of her tears fall before she reached for the towel that hung on the rack on the wall.

The day began to replay in her mind, over and over again. It was a blur and she felt the rush she always felt during a fight flood through her body just thinking of it. As soon as the rush disappeared, that is when she felt it. That low hum she remembered feeling around Buffy years ago. She only ever felt it if she just relaxed, and relaxing around Buffy was a rare occurrence. It was almost comforting to feel it, and it made her feel whole in a way. It was that same feeling that scared her before everything went wrong. That same feeling that had caused a flood of mixed feelings, which led to questions about just how she'd felt about Buffy. She could feel that uncertainty coming back, that fear filling her as it dawned on her that those feelings she'd had for Buffy, that...attraction, didn't just disappear as she thought it had.

It made her wonder if that's why they were never able to be friends, aside from her destructive and carefree personality at the time. They were very different in every way, yet they shared one thing; the burden they had to carry with being a Slayer. Nobody else ever knew what it was really like and the loneliness that came with it. She knew even though Buffy had friends, had a family, that she still felt alone despite being surrounded by people who loved her. Buffy had been in love with two people that Faith knew of. Angel and Riley. Spike, in her mind, didn't really count. From the bit of the conversation she'd heard Buffy have with Spike as the Hellmouth had crumbled around them, she figured that when Buffy had told him she loved him she said it because she knew he was sacrificing himself for the greater good.

It made sense to her, though, and she got why Buffy would say that to him. From what she knew, Spike had been there for her when nobody else was. She knew of their instantaneous relationship, if what they had together for that short time could be called a relationship. She scoffed as she glanced at herself in the mirror, wondering why she was even thinking about Buffy and her relationship with Spike. She did remember that feeling of jealously that crept up inside of her when she and Spike had talked in the basement. She didn't like it and she still didn't. These were emotions she'd never felt before and she didn't know how to deal with them.

"Faith?" Buffy said softly as she knocked on the door. "Are you done in there?"

"I'll be out in a sec, B."

She glanced in the mirror once last time before she opened the door. She felt naked despite being fully clothed as Buffy looked at her for a moment before stepping past her and closing the bathroom door behind her. She grabbed her jacket, slipped on her boots and stepped outside as the craving for a cigarette at that moment was just too strong to ignore. She left the door open a crack as she sat down on the steps and lit the cigarette. She heard Buffy huff when she walked out of the bathroom and a minute later she stepped outside and sat down on the steps next to her.

"Can't sleep either, huh?" Faith asked as she looked over at her, grinning at little when Buffy just rolled her eyes and nodded her head.

"It's been a long day and an even longer couple of months."

"I know the feeling."

"Are you really going to come with us to Cleveland?"

"Why not? Not like I have anywhere else to go," Faith replied quietly as she stared down at the ground in front of her. "You can tell me honestly if you don't want me to come with you guys. It's not like I won't understand."

"I can't do it alone anymore," Buffy said after a few long minutes of heavy silence between them. "I _don't_ want to do this alone anymore. I don't know what is going to happen in the next couple of weeks, months or even years, but after how you came to help us without a moment of hesitation, it made me realize some things."

"Like what?"

"Like maybe you are not quite the same person I thought I knew," she said so softly that if Faith hadn't been listening as carefully as she was, she wouldn't have heard her.

"Maybe not."

Faith waited for her to say something more, but it never came. She always had a hard time trying to figure Buffy out, trying to get her to open up. She knew that it was the same with herself. She had built up walls years ago that would take a lot of time to break down. Time and trust. She didn't trust Buffy and she sure as hell didn't trust herself. It was hard for her to trust someone who had tried to kill her. Granted, at the time she'd done a lot of fucked up things to Buffy, her friends, and her mother, so she knew she deserved everything she'd gotten and then some. She knew that the way she'd retaliated once she had woken up from her coma had been mostly out of fear. At least she could admit that to herself, but it was too little, too late for that. She couldn't take back anything she'd ever done no matter how hard she wished she could.

She wanted to talk to Buffy about a lot of things; the only problem was, where did she start? Their personal history was loaded and to work through it all would take time—a lot of time. They'd only get through it all if Buffy was willing to, she knew that much. She also knew Buffy continuously gave off mixed signals and those were the ones she never read right. That playful banter they once had, maybe it'd get back to that point, but until she was sure they were comfortable around one another once again she'd have to learn to censor the things she said that just came naturally to her. It made her wonder then if Buffy had ever picked up on the fact that she had harmlessly flirted with her to no end years before.

"Deep thoughts?" Buffy asked with a stifled laugh as she nudged Faith in the shoulder with her own.

"You have no idea how many times that I've been asked that today, do you?"

"How many?"

"Enough."

"Mm-hmm."

"For someone who didn't want to talk..." Faith trailed off, chuckling softly as she took a long drag of her cigarette.

"Do you really think everything is going to be different now, or is it going to be exactly the same as it was before?"

"No idea, B. Guess it's one of those things you just gotta find out when the time comes."

"I was talking about us," she said quietly as she turned to look at Faith. "If you're coming to Cleveland we can't...fight like we used to. I don't trust you."

"I don't trust myself," Faith shrugged. "We're in the same boat, for once."

Buffy laughed a little at that and winced softly as she placed her hand over her stomach. Faith just watched her even in the dim light that shone from the streetlight as she lifted up her shirt to check out her wound. From what Faith could see, it had closed up and was already healing a hell of a lot faster than any injuries would have healed before.

"You okay?" Faith asked, resisting the urge to reach out for her.

"I'm fine, it just hurts if I laugh," Buffy replied as she lowered her shirt back down. "You didn't get hurt, did you?"

"Couple scrapes and bruises. Nothing major. Guess I was lucky this time."

"Yeah. We should probably try to get some sleep," Buffy said as she stood up from the steps and walked inside the room.

Faith let out a soft sigh as she took one last drag of her cigarette and flicked it to the ground before following Buffy inside. She waited until the light was turned off to take off her jacket and boots, then climbed into the bed. She watched Buffy in the darkness as she rolled onto her side, her back to her, and tried to fall asleep.

A part of her was waiting for Buffy to punch her in the face for whatever reason of her own. In the last week she'd been punched twice, which was really not so surprising. Maybe things would end up changing between them and they wouldn't come to blows anymore. Maybe Buffy was tired of fighting with her, tired of hating her, just like she was tired of it too. She closed her eyes as she yawned, finally feeling the edges of sleep pulling her in. Sleeping for a week wouldn't happen, but she at least hoped for twelve straight hours or more. She fell into a light sleep listening to the sounds of the soft, steady breathing coming from Buffy, finding it relaxing and comforting in a way.

It hadn't even been a couple of hours before the knocks started on the door. Faith groaned loudly, hating to have been woken up, and pulled the pillow over her head as she listened to Buffy talk quietly to Giles at the door. She sat up slowly when she heard Giles say Robin's name, already knowing what had happened before he even said a word.

"What's going on?"

"I called the hospital for an update on the injured girls and Robin," Giles said quietly as Faith joined them at the door. "He didn't make it."

"He's...dead?" Faith asked, feeling as if she'd been hit by a brick wall. "You're kidding me, right?"

"He passed about a half an hour ago. The injuries were extensive and the doctor I spoke with informed me that they had done all they could."

Faith walked back to the bed and sat down heavily, blinking away the tears as she pulled on her boots and slipped on her jacket. She ignored Giles and Buffy when they tried to stop her from walking out of the room and she headed straight for the hospital, needing to see it with her own eyes to believe that Robin was gone. She felt like she was stuck in a dream, a nightmare, as she walked the few blocks to the small hospital. When she got outside the emergency room, she just stared blankly at the door, not knowing what to do all of a sudden. It didn't feel real.

She took in a few deep breaths before she walked inside and ignored the nurses who tried to stop her as she walked to the room she knew Robin was in. She stood there in the doorway, watching as the doctors unhooked him from the machines she guessed had tried to keep him alive. He lay there motionless, looking as if he was only sleeping and not dead.

"Miss," the burly nurse urged as she tried to pull Faith from the room. "Miss, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

"I knew him," she said softly, blinking away the tears that just wouldn't fall. "I never got to say goodbye."

"I'm sorry."

"Can I have a minute alone?" Faith asked, barely recognizing her own voice. "Please? Just a minute is all I need."

The nurse nodded her head, giving her a sympathetic smile as she let Faith walk into the room. She stood at the foot of the bed and waited for the two doctors to leave before she finally let the tears fall. She couldn't move from where she stood, hearing the ghostly whispers of promises he had made her.

"_When we settle down somewhere, I'll surprise you like I said I would, I promise you that and I can promise you it'll be worth giving it a shot."_

Faith wiped away the tears, never taking her eyes off of him. She wanted to know why this was affecting her so badly. Nobody she'd ever known had ever made her feel so much in such a short amount of time. Nobody had ever gotten under her skin the way he had. Nobody had ever made her promises like the ones he'd made to her, promises that had given her hope that life would change for her and that maybe, just maybe, she'd finally know what it was like to be loved.

"_Not everyone is going to screw you over in the end, Faith. You need to have a little bit of faith in others if you want to know what it's like to fall in love. Let me have that chance. I'll promise you in the end it'll be worth it. We all make mistakes and we all push others away, but that's what makes us human. All too human."_

He'd been right, they were all too human and they would all make mistakes, over and over again until they finally saw that whatever they were doing just wasn't working. He'd said a lot to her in that first hour they'd been on the road and she knew she wasn't the only one who was listening to everything he had said. Buffy had been sitting in the seat across the aisle and every once in a while Faith had caught her looking over at them. There had been a look of disbelief on Buffy's face as Robin spoke quietly of the plans he had to prove her wrong. She didn't want to begin to think of what could have possibly been going through Buffy's head at the time; probably the same things that were going through her own right then and there.

Broken promises made for someone who didn't deserve it.

The same burly nurse came to lead her out of the room. She couldn't hear a word the nurse said to her and she turned and headed straight for the doors. She didn't want to go back to the motel, there was no way in hell she'd be able to sleep and she wouldn't have Buffy catch her crying either. She wandered around town and found a small corner store that was open. She knew she had some money in her wallet and she walked inside and headed straight for the back. She grabbed a bottle of Jack, it being the only brand of whiskey on the shelf and walked to the register. The old man that stood behind it smiled at her as she handed him a twenty.

She had the cap unscrewed before she walked out the door and she took a swig as she stood on the sidewalk, wondering where she could go and not be found too easily. The town was small, that was a given after she walked up and down the streets and ended up back where she didn't want to be, outside her and Buffy's room at the motel. She had been wandering around town for a few hours and she hadn't realized that until the sun began to rise. She stumbled towards the stairs and sat down before lifting the bottle, sighing as she took another swig.

"Faith?" Buffy said softly as she opened the door. "Oh god, you're drinking? Are you drunk?"

"What does it look like?" Faith snapped as she set the bottle down on the step next to her. "He's gone, B. He's fucking gone and I never got to say goodbye."

That empty feeling inside of her came with the ghostly whispers of the promises Robin had made her. Buffy sat down next to her and awkwardly hugged her, holding on tight when she tried to pull away. She gave in, wrapped her arms around her, and let the tears fall freely. The alcohol and the multitude of emotions that were thundering through her had made her give in. She no longer cared that she looked vulnerable and weak as Buffy held onto her tightly and just let her cry. She tried to pull away yet again, but Buffy still wouldn't let go of her.

"Just let it out, Faith," she whispered softly.

"Why does it have to hurt so fucking much?"

"You cared for him even though you hardly knew him," Buffy said softly, her breath tickling Faith's ear as she spoke, "that's why it hurts so much, Faith."

If she hadn't been so numb with alcohol and grief she would have felt the hum deep inside of her resonate through her body with Buffy holding her so close. Even in the state of mind that she was in, she couldn't help but think that this was the only time they'd ever been so close and that this was the only time Buffy had ever shown any signs of friendly affection towards her. She felt her body giving up and she pulled back from Buffy slowly, quickly wiping the tears from her eyes.

"Go get some sleep," Buffy said softly, smiling at her as she helped her to her feet. There was softness in Buffy's eyes she'd never seen before. She thought for just a split second that maybe Buffy actually cared about her in some little way.

Faith muttered a barely audible thank you as she collapsed on her bed and forcefully yanked the covers over herself. She silently argued with the voices in her head that told her she was wrong about everything, wrong about Buffy, that she didn't care about her. Nobody ever cared about her. It was just the way it was and the way it felt like it'd always be. Robin was supposed to be the one to change that, but he was gone now, gone and never coming back. Taken from her just like everything else that had ever been good in her life.

She gave up on the self-pity trip she'd taken herself on, knowing how dangerous that was for her fragile, emotional state. She let the last of her tears fall before she finally let the pain, the exhaustion, the loneliness, and the alcohol force her into a deep sleep full of dreams, of nightmares, and of emptiness.


	2. Chapter 2

Her mouth was dry when she opened her eyes to the sound of laughter drifting through the thin walls and the open window. Her head was pounding, the inevitable hangover making its appearance with a raging vengeance. Every inch of her body was aching from the feeling of emptiness inside. The small digital clock that sat on top of the dresser changed to six o'clock and she knew then that'd she'd slept away most of the day.

"Fuck," she groaned under her breath as she pulled back the covers, remembering everything that had transpired between her and Buffy before she'd passed out.

"Faith, are you alive in there?" Buffy asked, chuckling softly under her breath as she opened the door slowly. "Good, I was hoping you'd be awake."

"Barely."

"I've got food," Buffy said as she held up a brown paper bag. "Giles thought you'd be hungry."

"Thanks," Faith muttered under her breath as she sat up slowly on the bed and rubbed her throbbing temples. "There a party going on in the room next door or something?"

"Everyone is leaving in the morning, so we decided to have a little party," Buffy shrugged as she placed the bag on the bed next to Faith. "After tonight you'll have the room to yourself."

"Great."

Faith rolled her eyes as Buffy stood there for a moment and just stared down at her. She knew she had to have been a sight to see and she knew it wasn't pretty, especially not after a night of heavy drinking. She ran her fingers through her tangled hair before grabbing the bag of food Buffy had brought for her. Breakfast sandwiches—four of them—and a few juice boxes. She chuckled softly as she moved to lean against the headboard. It wasn't until she'd taken a bite of the first sandwich, the rather cold and slightly soggy state telling her they were leftovers from that morning, that she realized Buffy had been staring at her the whole time she'd been standing there.

"What?" She asked with a mouthful of food. "Was there something else you wanted to say to me?"

"No, I uh," Buffy stammered, suddenly looking rather uncomfortable. "I'll just leave you alone. There's aspirin in the bathroom if you need it."

Faith just watched her as she walked out of the room, leaving the door open just a crack. Faith rolled her eyes and ate the rest of the food before she slipped off the bed and picked up one of her boots and threw it at the door to close it. She needed a shower and clean clothes. She stripped out of her clothes before she even reached the bathroom and filled the sink with warm water. She'd spent who knows how many years living in motels and washing her clothes in the sink and this was no different aside from the fact she'd be lounging on the bed in only a towel for a couple of hours.

She washed her clothes as quickly as she could, wrapping a towel around her before she wrung them out in the tub and hung them on the hook on the back of the door. She could still hear the sounds of the others even after she turned on the taps and stepped under the hot spray of water.

Hearing the others having a great time, laughing and just letting loose, it made her feel even more empty and alone inside. She'd never been a part of their inner circle, not even in the beginning. She wondered if that would change even now, or if she'd forever just be the 'other' Slayer, the bad Slayer. She was doing everything she could to change. It wouldn't happen overnight, she knew that, but she was already beginning to feel the changes she was going through now. She just wondered if anyone else could see them, or if they even cared to notice.

Robin had never known what she'd been like before, yet after they'd fucked he just held her and they talked, two things she had never done with anyone else before. She didn't necessarily feel comfortable lying there with him while he was trying to get her to open up about herself, but she had felt safe around him, again for reasons she'd never know. It scared her to think she'd never find anyone else willing to be with someone like her and willing to give someone like her a chance. She knew why he had been willing to be with her, even that first night. He didn't know her the way the others did and she knew that if he did know her that way, he wouldn't have said or done the things he did.

Trying to get those thoughts out of her head, she grabbed the bland smelling shampoo and quickly washed her hair. There was music now being played in the room next door, masking the voices so she could no longer hear what was being said. She turned off the water and grabbed the towel, wrapping it around herself as she stepped out of the tub. It felt good to feel clean, her body felt more relaxed even with the pounding headache wreaking havoc almost beyond what was bearable. She just grabbed her wet clothes off the hook and hung them over the shower curtain rod. Even over the music she heard the soft knock on the door and she made sure her towel was wrapped securely around her before she walked out of the bathroom and opened the door.

"Oh, uh..." Willow looked at her for a moment, stumbling over her words. "We went out shopping today and Kennedy grabbed you some clothes. Buffy forgot to bring them for you when she brought you the food before."

"Uh, thanks?" Faith shrugged as she took the offered white plastic bag that Willow suddenly thrust out in front of her.

"It's not much, but..."

"Appreciate it."

"You can...come over and join us," Willow said as she motioned to the room next door. "Xander went and bought some beer. We're all just going to relax and have fun tonight before the others leave in the morning."

Faith shrugged as she stepped away from the door a little so she could close it, but before she did she told Willow she'd come by in a bit, getting a friendly smile from Willow before the door swung shut. They had talked on the ride from LA to Sunnydale, mostly about the fight against the First. Faith had apologized to her and Willow had told her there was no need to apologize since what was in the past was in the past. It felt too easy to be forgiven just like that, but Willow had assured her that it was time to move on from that part of their history and she had assured her that if she gave Buffy time, that Buffy would forgive her as well.

She dumped the clothes out on the bed and went through them. Two pairs of jeans, both of which looked to be about a size too big for her, and two black tank tops. She grinned at the fact that Kennedy, despite not really knowing her, apparently knew her clothing preferences. There were a few other things in the bag—a hairbrush, deodorant, a toothbrush, and some toothpaste. All things they'd left behind that were essential to have, but things that she'd gone without at certain times in her life when she had no money. She ripped the tags off the clothes and pulled on the darker pair of jeans and one of the tank tops.

"Not bad," she mused as she walked into the bathroom to check herself out. The jeans were a little too big and she grabbed her belt and slipped it through the loops.

After she dried her hair as much as she could with the towel, she grabbed her boots and pulled them on. The music coming from next door was playing a little louder now and she knew from the sounds of the laughter she heard over it they were having plenty of fun. She grabbed her pack of cigarettes and her lighter, slipping them into her back pocket as she walked out of the room and headed next door. She needed to relax and even though she hardly felt like any serious drinking after the amount of alcohol she'd consumed the night before, she still could use a couple of beers.

"Hey," Xander said with a smile as he nearly ran into her outside of the room. "Beer is chilling in the ice in the tub, help yourself."

"Are you going somewhere?"

"I was actually coming to see if you were coming to join us," he replied with a soft laugh. "We could all use a night of fun, don't you think?"

"Hell yeah," she grinned as they both walked inside the room.

She suddenly felt out of place as she made her way through the crowded room and into the bathroom to grab herself a beer. She then made her way back outside, the room too crowded and too hot for her to stay inside. A few others were standing around outside the room, talking quietly among themselves. Kennedy came out a minute later, clearly already feeling tipsy by the way she stumbled down the steps.

"Glad the clothes fit," she said as she twisted off the cap from her beer. "And you're welcome."

Faith chuckled as they both leaned against the wall. "Appreciate you thinking of me."

"Nobody else did," Kennedy replied. "Hardly seemed fair that nobody else seemed to care if you had what you needed too."

"Doesn't surprise me."

"How are you feeling today? I heard you kind of...took Robin's death a little hard," Kennedy said softly, studying her and waiting for a reaction. Any reaction. Faith just shrugged and blankly stared down at the beer in front of her. "Well, I just want you to know you got a friend in me if you ever need one."

"Thanks."

The words barely made it past her lips before she took a few sips of her beer. The night was warm and the sun hadn't begun to set yet. She felt peaceful there in the small town and it made her nervous. She wasn't used to the peacefulness she was feeling surrounding her. She was used to feeling evil crawling around in the shadows, lurking, waiting for that right moment to come out.

"Feels weird, doesn't it?"

"What does?" Faith asked as she looked over at Kennedy.

"This town."

"Are you reading my mind or something?"

"Not intentionally," Kennedy replied. "I've just had this feeling since we got here that something isn't right about this place. It's too...quiet."

"Used to the buzz of a city, huh?"

"Something like that. But ever since I became a Slayer, I don't know, I felt _it_ and now I don't anymore, you know what I mean?"

"Definitely do."

"So, I hear you're coming with us to Cleveland," Kennedy said with a smile as she raised her beer to Faith's. "Should be fun, don't you think?"

"Fun, right," Faith laughed dryly. "Ain't nothing fun about living on a Hellmouth."

"No," Kenned replied as she shook her head and took a swig of her beer. "I meant it should be fun having you around. I mean, I have Will, Xander is a decent guy, Andrew is pretty fucking annoying, and Buffy..."

"Is wound a little too fucking tight?" Faith offered, smirking at the look a surprise in Kennedy's eyes. "Yeah, surprised me too. You'd think she'd have learned to live a little by now and find the fun."

"You'd think."

Faith chuckled as she pulled out her pack of cigarettes and offered one to Kennedy. She just shrugged and took one, leaning close to the flame of the lighter Faith held out to her after lighting her own. Faith had no idea what to talk to Kennedy about. She wasn't so good at the whole getting to know someone else part and she was starting to think that maybe Kennedy knew that about her and yet, for some reason, was giving her a chance. A chance laced with a lot of patience and heavy periods of silence between them.

"You and Buffy have a pretty heavy history, don't you?" Kennedy asked after a while.

"Sure do."

"I've heard some stories, you know, about what you were like before."

"Not like that anymore," Faith replied flatly.

"I know. That's what I've been told."

"By who?"

"Willow."

Faith sighed out in relief. She'd heard of Andrew telling stories about her, about her and Buffy's past. She knew him as well as the others by now and when it came to him and stories, she knew he stretched the truth a little too far. Willow had been the first of all of them to give her that second chance. Xander seemed to be getting there, Giles as well. Buffy was harder to read, harder to figure out, but they hadn't come to blows. Yet. She hadn't spoken to Dawn too much. She didn't blame Dawn for staying away from her as much as she could, though, and it still freaked her out knowing just how Dawn came to be and that any memories she had of Dawn weren't even real. Willow had explained enough to her on that drive from LA to Sunnydale so that she knew what had been going on there for the last couple of years.

She flicked her cigarette to the ground and headed back inside. Most of the younger girls had gone off to another room, Dawn tagging along with them, so she took a seat at the small table near the window where Giles, Andrew, and Xander were sitting playing poker. She joined in on the game, trying to relax, trying to forget all that had happened in the last day. Every once in a while her eyes would drift over to where Buffy sat on the only bed in the room next to Willow. They were talking quietly, occasionally laughing at whatever they were talking about, and every once in a while Buffy would look over at her and quickly look away, never letting her eyes linger for too long.

Kennedy joined them at the table, grinning as she placed a bottle of vodka down on the table. Faith could only laugh at the look on Giles' face. He had already had a few beers and even though he hadn't had as much as everyone else had, she knew he was feeling more than just a little tipsy. He ended up calling it an early night, ushering Vi and Rona out with him and warning them all not to let the younger girls have anything more to drink.

"You game?" Kennedy asked Faith, drawing her attention and snapping her out of the daze she'd suddenly found herself in. "You want to do a round of shots with us?"

"Fuck yeah," Faith grinned as she downed the last of her beer.

Xander grabbed some plastic cups and lined up four of them on the table. Andrew looked a little intimidated at the prospect of adding hard alcohol to the few beers he'd already had. He muttered his goodnight before he stumbled out of the room, nearly crashing into the door before he could open it. Both Kennedy and Faith only laughed as they cleared the table of the cards and the poker chips.

"You two gonna join us?" Faith asked as she looked over at Buffy and Willow.

"No," Buffy replied coldly as she turned back to Willow and they continued with their conversation.

"Whatever," Faith said under her breath. She had to remind herself that she should have known Buffy wouldn't want to join them. "Come on, Kenny. Pour the shots already."

One by one, they downed shot after shot and between the three of them, half the bottle was gone in no time. Their laughter over nothing in particular filled the room and neither of them could even look at each other without bursting into another fit of hysterics. Faith had to get some air and she grabbed a beer from the tub and headed outside. The warm night air sobered her up, just a little, as she leaned against the wall and lit a cigarette. She'd only been outside for a couple minutes before she heard the sounds of Willow and Buffy asking to join in on the shots.

"Figures," she muttered under her breath as she took a long drag of her cigarette.

"Figures what?" Xander asked as he stood in the doorway. "Better hurry up and get back inside, the bottle is almost empty."

"I'm good," she said as she waved him off. "You guys finish it off. I'm gonna go for a walk and clear my head a little bit."

"Would you mind stopping at the pizza place?" Xander asked as he fished out a couple bills from his pocket. "Or I could just come with you and we'll grab a couple pizzas on the way back?"

"Whatever, doesn't matter to me."

Xander told the others he was heading out for a bit and joined Faith outside. She finished her beer quickly and placed the empty bottle on the windowsill before the two of them began to walk across the motel parking lot.

"Figures what?" Xander asked he glanced over at her.

"Figures as soon as I'm not right there that Buffy and Willow decide to join in on the fun."

"Oh. I wouldn't worry about it," he laughed as he put his arm casually over her shoulders. "You know how Buffy gets sometimes."

"Yeah," she shrugged as they headed for the pizza place just down the road. "Whatever, man, it's not like it matters. I don't even know why I care."

"You're afraid you aren't gonna fit in with us, aren't you?"

"Did I say that?" Faith snapped as she pushed his arm from around her shoulders. "I didn't fucking say that."

The alcohol was making her mood shift horribly; she reached into her pocket for her cigarettes and quickly lit one. Xander only sighed as they kept walking slowly down the street. She stayed outside when they reached the small pizza place. It was nearly empty and the town was quiet just as it had been the night before. She didn't like it here. She was growing too tense without anything remotely interesting going on. She needed action. She needed a place to go dance and work off the mounting frustration she was feeling. She was starting to wonder if she'd made the right choice in sticking with them instead of going off to do her own thing.

It wasn't just the alcohol that had made her mood shift to where it was now. She was still trying to deal with Robin's death and still trying to figure out why it was affecting her so badly. It wasn't as if she loved the guy, nor did she feel any strong feelings for him. She did feel something, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. She cursed herself under her breath for going back to thinking about it when all she wanted to do was forget for a little while.

"Ready to head back?" Xander asked as he walked out of the pizza place with four boxes stacked in his hands.

"Why not?" She shrugged as she took two of the boxes and they headed back to the motel. "Sorry for snapping at you before."

"It's fine. I get it," Xander said with a smile. "It's kind of weird though, isn't it? Just hanging out like old times only...we never really hung out before."

Faith laughed a little at that, feeling a talk from Xander coming that she really didn't want to hear. She wanted to be able to talk to him, to any of them, without the alcohol having loosened their tongues. She had to admit it was a little weird just hanging out with him as if it was something they'd always done.

"It is weird," Faith finally said and she heard Xander chuckle softly next to her. "This whole night has been weird. Keep wondering why the hell you guys even want me around."

"Second chances," he shrugged. "We all deserve a second chance and I think you do too. We just went through the biggest fight of our lives together and you fought with us, standing by Buffy's side without a second thought. Besides—though I can only speak for myself when I say this—I'm looking at the fall of Sunnydale as a chance to start over."

"Yeah, I'm looking at it like that too. Wouldn't hurt to be able to have that second chance and start over again."

"Sometimes we all need that," Xander said quietly and Faith just nodded in agreement.

They walked the rest of the way back in silence. They were halfway across the motel parking lot when she began to hear the sounds of Buffy, Willow, and Kennedy laughing in the room. Whatever they'd been laughing about they didn't look as if they were about to share when Faith and Xander walked into the room. Faith spotted the empty bottle and saw the glassy look in Buffy's eyes. She found it impossible to take her eyes off of her for a moment before Xander nudged her to put the pizza down on the dresser.

It felt different just to be there with the handful of people she never thought would accept her, bring her into the fold. She was still outside of the closely woven circle they had formed and she knew she would be for a long time, too. She could see that Kennedy, although she was with Willow, wasn't quite in it yet either. But they both were slowly being brought in, inch by inch. She could see it mostly in the way Xander had talked to her. She could see it in just the tiniest ways when Buffy's eyes caught her own for a moment. She took a bite of the pizza slice she'd taken out of the box while asking herself why she even cared, why she even wanted to be a part of what they all had together.

She just didn't want to feel so alone anymore.

Xander disappeared inside the bathroom and came out a few minutes later with several bottles of beer in his hands. He handed one to everybody, saving the last for Faith as he joined her leaning against the dresser. Even with the haze of alcohol, in the glance that the two shared, the subtle smile that was exchanged, she felt herself being pulled into their fold just an inch more. She was treading carefully, careful not to show the hope that flickered through her with just a simple look, a simple smile.

"What movie do you want to watch?" Willow asked as she grabbed the remote for the TV.

"Doesn't matter," Buffy slurred slightly as she glanced over at Faith. "Do you have any suggestions?"

"No," Faith replied as she shook her head and grabbed another slice of pizza. "Whatever is fine."

Everyone settled on the bed—everyone but Faith—as Willow flicked through the channels on the small TV. Xander motioned for her to join them, but she only shook her head as she hoisted herself up on the dresser and reached for yet another slice of pizza. She paid no attention to the movie that played on the TV. The voices of the others faded out and she was purely focused on Buffy and the sound of her laugh, her drunken laugh that slurred, yet it sounded so carefree. Easy. Something she knew didn't come along for Buffy very often anymore.

She didn't know Buffy as well as she thought she did. She never did before, either. But she was starting to see something in Buffy she'd never seen before. She could see the hurt, the pain just filling her, swallowing her, and yet she could see the fight in her eyes; the fight to go on, to make it better. The alcohol had made Buffy vulnerable; it had made them all vulnerable. She could see things Buffy had fought to keep from being shown and all it took was one simple look to see it flicker in her eyes, to see that wall come right back up.

Not wanting another hangover in the morning, she drank the last of her beer and willed herself not to get another. Her eyes were still on Buffy, watching her as she watched whatever movie Willow had put on. She didn't care, nor did she seem to want to. Xander motioned her over to the bed again, pouting until she gave in and slowly made her way over. She sat on the edge of the bed next to him and with a soft smile she moved to lean up against the headboard. Buffy sat on the other side of Xander and she leaned forward and flashed a small smile at her before she moved to lay across the bed on her stomach, her eyes trained firmly on the TV.

If it had been impossible for Faith to take her eyes off of Buffy before, it was even more so now. She felt the heaviness in her eyes, the tiredness. She was still feeling the fight with the First, still feeling the heavy pain over Robin's death, and she was feeling the alcohol and her body protesting and fighting to stay awake. Kicking off her boots, she settled as comfortably as she could sitting up against the headboard and closed her eyes. Sleep wouldn't be too far off, that she was sure of, and she let the sounds of the TV and the sounds of the laughter in the room lull her to sleep.

****

Faith woke first the next morning. She had her eyes closed as she stretched out and froze when she felt the warmth of the body curled up next to her. She didn't even need to open her eyes to know just who it was. She blinked and lifted her head, looking down at Buffy curled up next to her, her head lying on her chest and her arm draped almost possessively over her stomach. She knew she had to move her or slip out of there before she woke. The last thing she wanted to deal with was with a hung over Buffy about to kick her ass for the way they'd woken up together.

Willow and Kennedy were on the floor at the foot of the bed wrapped around each other and sleeping soundly. Xander was on the other end of the bed, curled up hugging a pillow close to his chest. Faith slowly moved Buffy, holding her breath until she slipped off the bed without having woken her or anyone else. She grabbed her boots and slipped them on, letting out the breath she'd been holding as she made her way quietly to the door and walked outside.

She stood outside the room, taking in a deep breath of the fresh morning air. She ignored the feeling of how good it was to wake up the way she had. She pushed it down and forgot about it, not wanting to deal, unable to deal. She felt too many raw emotions flicker through her as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She could feel the hurt, the betrayal, the hate from before. She could feel the acceptance, the tentative trust, and the openness that she'd felt in the last couple of days. She could still feel Buffy's warmth all over her, and what should have made her skin crawl instead made her ache inside. Ache where she'd never ached before, deep in her heart.

"Good morning," Giles said cheerfully as he walked out of his room with a cup of tea in his hand. "Did you all enjoy yourselves last night?"

"Sure," she shrugged, a small smile teasing at the corner of her mouth.

"I'm going to drive the girls to the bus station next town over. Would you tell the others we'll be leaving tonight?"

"Yeah, I will. Are we driving that hunk of junk to Cleveland?"

"No," he chuckled softly as he took a sip of his tea. "After I drop the girls off, we'll simply park it and abandon it. I've arranged for a more suitable vehicle to take us all to Cleveland."

She just nodded and pulled out her crushed pack of cigarettes, muttering under her breath as she pulled one out and quickly lit it. "What happens once we get to Cleveland?"

"We'll find a place to stay and go from there."

"Are we all gonna live in the same house, or we gonna branch off on our own and just...work together?"

"What do you want to do?"

"Dunno, G. Honestly, I don't."

"I think that for now it's best we all stick together. I am sure we can find a house where we can each have a space of our own. You aren't the only one who wants that," he said softly, understanding what she was thinking before she even said a word. "Things are going to be different now, Faith."

"I know. Already feel and see the changes and they just keep on coming."

"Give Angel a call soon. I spoke with him briefly last night and he asked to have you call him. There are a few things he would like to speak to you about and I do not feel as if it is my place to tell you."

Giles handed her a slip of paper with a number written down. She knew the number, but the extension was different. He gave her a warm smile before he began to knock on each of the rooms, calling out for the girls to get ready to leave. Faith just folded the paper and slipped it into her back pocket as she walked to her room and sat down on the steps.

She sat there alone, taking one drag after another off her cigarette as she watched the girls, the new Slayers, migrate out of their rooms and onto the bus. The only two who bothered to come and say goodbye to her were Vi and Rona. She didn't do hugs, nor did she do goodbyes, but she gave them each a smile and told them to take care of themselves, to watch their backs. Rona promised she'd try to stay in touch, however she could, and with that the two walked away and got on the bus, turning back once to wave goodbye.

She didn't do goodbyes. Felt too final. Yet that sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach told her the chances of seeing those two—or any of the girls—again were slim to none. Why did she care? She never cared. Maybe it was a sign that things really were changing.

With a heavy sigh, she flicked the cigarette to the ground and quickly lit another. She sat there hunched over, her arms resting on her knees, her head held low. Thoughts of the last couple of days ran through her mind, melding together, no longer making any sense at all. Thoughts of how she woke up, the feeling of a warm body next to hers, _Buffy's_ warm body, not some random stranger she'd plucked off the streets and definitely not Robin, who it should have been. Then she had to ask herself: If Robin was still alive, would it have worked out? Would she have given him that chance to prove her wrong?

She didn't know. She'd never know.

She lifted her head when she heard the next room's door open. Buffy stepped out, groaning as she tried to shield her eyes from the bright morning sun. She couldn't take her eyes off of her as she watched her stretch out and yawn before she stepped down the few stairs and walked towards her. She fought back the smile—smirk, really—as Buffy approached her, but found it impossible when Buffy smiled right back at her and sat down on the step next to her.

"How you feeling this morning, B?"

"Like hell. I am never drinking again."

"I'll hold those words against you," Faith chuckled softly. "Giles told me to tell you guys we're leaving tonight. He just took the girls to the bus station."

"I heard. Felt you go a little while ago too. Kind of woke me up when you left."

"Sorry."

Faith looked away from her and took a long drag, inhaling sharply, wondering if Buffy knew how she'd been sleeping, how close she'd been, how good it'd felt. It took her a little while to work up the courage to look over at Buffy. She was afraid of what would happen, what Buffy was thinking, but that small smile that curled over Buffy's lips eased her fears, just a little.

"You know the funny thing?" Buffy asked softly as she turned to look at Faith, making her wonder just what was really going through her head. "I kind of want to stay here. It's quiet. I know we can't stay, but it'd be nice to, just for a little while."

"Yeah, I guess."

"Are you really coming with us?"

"Sure am."

"Good," Buffy said as she smiled a little wider. "I mean good because we'll need you there with us, Faith. Yeah," she paused as she laughed softly, "I think I'm still a little drunk."

"I think you are," Faith chuckled as she nudged her with her shoulder. "But thanks, though."

"For what?"

"For telling me you want me to come along without actually saying that."

"What else would you do? Where else would you go?"

"Plenty of places," she shrugged as she took one last drag of her cigarette and flicked it to the ground. "None of them feel right, though, and I'm tired of being alone. If you guys want me around, I'll stick around. Can't promise you that we won't come to blows eventually, cos you know us. We're like oil and water. We don't mix."

"You ever wonder why? I mean," Buffy sighed as she leaned back against the door, "there seems like no reason for us not to get along. We did before, at least for awhile, didn't we?"

"Yeah, before everything went to shit."

"It's not going to happen again, Faith."

"No? How can you be so sure of that?"

"Because I won't let it happen again," Buffy said softly. "I can't let it happen again. After everything we've just been through and the few things we have already talked about, I know now that you're the only one that would ever truly understand what I go through."

"Maybe. And thanks for that, B. I don't think I could handle going through the same shit as we did before. Kind of really fucked me up over it all, you know?"

"Yeah I know. I can't help but think a lot of the stuff you went through before had a lot to do with me and..."

"B?" Faith stopped her before she could go on. "Anything that happened between us and with me is all my doing, okay? I know where I went wrong and I know I can't just expect you and the others to forgive and forget. Shit like that takes time, right?"

"Yeah," Buffy nodded her head slowly. "It does take time. You know," she sighed as she looked at her for a moment before dropping her eyes to look at the ground in front of her, "you aren't the only one who needs to be forgiven. You aren't the only one who has done things that...affected everyone else around you. I did a lot of things to you too. Granted, you deserved them, but...that doesn't give me the right to point fingers and say 'hey, you are evil and bad and I don't trust you'."

Faith could tell how hard it was for Buffy to say those things to her, as she was having trouble now making any kind of eye contact with her. She understood where Buffy was coming from, though. She couldn't blame Buffy for the past; she couldn't blame herself entirely for it either. Redemption, even for herself, would take time—a lot of time—and patience, both of which would be a test of her character in the days, weeks, months, even years to come.

The words 'I'm sorry' would come in time between them, but it would take a lot more than just words to prove that point. It would take—dare she think it—friendship. It would take more than words, more than friendship, though. It would take some kind of understanding they could reach between themselves. An understanding that they were all too human, that they were bound to make mistakes no matter what transpired in their lives.

The smile Buffy gave her then when they finally did look at one another, a small and rather simple understanding, gave her hope that they were finally on the right track. She clung to that hope, not caring if things would turn to shit the second she blinked. She had to cling to something and the hope she felt growing between them was all she could hold onto.


	3. Chapter 3

They were on the road before the sun even set. It was a tight squeeze in the mini-van Giles had picked up and Faith found herself sitting in the far back, wedged up against the window with Xander, Andrew, and Dawn back there with her. They had only been on the road for a little under an hour before the first fight over what music to listen to erupted. Faith just sat there, fully amused at the words exchanged between Xander, Andrew, Dawn, and Kennedy. It was during that harmless fight, with the bickering and the poking and the slap Dawn had given Andrew, that she knew the long ride to Cleveland would be far from boring.

In the end, after Giles shouted at them like they were children to stop the bickering, he pulled over to a strip mall and gave them enough cash to buy whatever music they wanted to. Faith used that quick stop to buy a pack of cigarettes and she now leaned against the van, taking one drag after another while letting her thoughts wander. She tried not to listen to Giles, Buffy, and Willow as they spoke quietly inside the van about what they would do once they all arrived in Cleveland. Her mind was set on the short phone call she'd had with Angel just a few short hours before.

Angel told her he'd taken care of her police record. He promised her she wouldn't have any problems with the long and short arm of the law as long as she kept out of trouble. It all seemed too easy, but he assured her that it was for the better this way. She couldn't help save the world if she was locked away in prison. He knew that as well as she did. She couldn't fight for her redemption behind the prison walls; she had to do it outside if she wanted to do it right. Being trapped within herself was prison enough and those ghosts of her past would always be there, haunting her. Taunting her. Trying to coax her back to the darkness she was fighting day in and day out.

Sighing, she took one last drag of her cigarette, now thinking and wondering what the hospital was going to do with Robin's body. Angel had asked and she didn't have an answer. She didn't say a word. She had only fought back the tears just as she was fighting them back now. She wanted to know, though. She _needed_ to know. Maybe it'd give her some sense of peace knowing where he'd be laid to rest. By the end of the phone call with Angel, he'd promised her he'd take care of things with Robin and let her know, but it didn't feel good enough for her. It just wasn't enough.

She got back in the van when she saw the others come out of the used music store they'd spent the last half hour in. The second round of pointless arguing started as soon as they were back on the road. She just closed her eyes and leaned her head against the window, trying to drown out the voices just for a couple of minutes.

"Faith," Xander said softly as he poked her in the leg until she opened her eyes and turned to look at him. "Pick one."

He held out the handful of CD's they had bought and she shrugged as she pointed at random, not even caring what she ended up picking for them. As long as it stopped the pointless arguing and got some music playing, she was good. He smiled widely as he handed the CD forward and within seconds the first beats of Iron Man blasted through the cheap generic speakers.

Faith smiled to herself as she closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the window. Even over the music, though, she could hear the soft sigh coming from Buffy as she sat in the front next to Giles. She opened her eyes and looked up at Buffy, catching her eyes for a moment when she looked back. Even under the soft glow of the streetlights as they passed by, she could sense something was bothering Buffy from the look in her eyes. It bothered her too; it was almost as if she could feel whatever Buffy was feeling. It also scared her a little, wondering if it worked both ways. Wondering if Buffy could also feel whatever she felt.

She shifted uncomfortably in the seat, nudging Xander a little bit as she tried to make a little room for herself. It was going to be one hell of a long ride to Cleveland. She let out a soft sigh as she slouched down in the seat and closed her eyes once again. The voices of everyone crammed in the van drained out with the sound of the music blaring through the speakers. She pulled herself into the void she was used to, the aloneness that she fell so easily into when she needed to. It filled her body like a drug. It sent her thoughts on vacation as she just welcomed that vast emptiness she'd slipped into.

Hours passed by, miles of road left behind with thousands of miles yet to go. She wasn't sure when she'd fallen asleep, but when she opened her eyes the sun was just rising and Giles was pulling into a gas station to fill up. Everyone scrambled to get out of the van to stretch their legs, go to the bathroom, and buy some coffee and breakfast from the diner across the road.

"How much sleep did you get?" Giles asked Xander as the three of them stood outside against the van while the service boy filled the gas tank.

"Couple hours. I should be okay to drive most of the day."

"Good," Giles replied with a relieved smile. "How are you holding up back there, Faith?"

"Eh," she shrugged. "It's not that comfortable being wedged up against the window, but I figure it's better than nothing."

"Better than walking or flying," Xander grumbled. "C'mon, Giles, you could have at least flown us out to Cleveland instead of spending god knows how many days on the road."

"A road trip is an experience," Giles reasoned, which made both Faith and Xander roll their eyes. "I myself have never been on the road like this before, and I'm sure we can all benefit from this experience one way or another."

"Right," Faith laughed as she pushed herself off the van. "What kind of experience would that be, Giles?"

"An experience, er..." he stammered as he removed his glasses to give them a quick wipe. "It is just an experience, that's all. Once in a lifetime thing, er...also gives us all an opportunity to..."

"Get on each other's nerves at all hours of the day?" Xander offered, he and Faith both chuckling as Giles let out a frustrated sigh. Xander turned to Faith, a playful smile curling across his lips. "How long do you figure it'll take for us all to want to kill each other?"

"I...are we gonna bet on this?" Faith asked with a wink as Giles groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Five bucks says Dawnie is gonna try to kill Andrew first by tomorrow then she's gonna try to kill Kennedy."

"Ten," Xander smirked as he stuck out his hand and they shook on it. "Giles, you in?"

"This is infuriating," he muttered under his breath as he paid the service boy. "I'm in, but," he smiled at them as he stuck out his hand to shake on it, "I call by tomorrow afternoon, not tonight."

"You underestimate them," Xander laughed as he shook his head and leaned over to Faith, keeping his eyes on Giles as he whispered to her, "Easiest ten bucks we'll ever make."

She nodded her head, trying to bite back the smirk as Giles looked at the two of them. He laughed as he shook his head and went around to the driver's side to get in. Faith and Xander walked across the road while Giles drove the van to park it in the small parking lot outside of the diner. Faith headed straight for the counter, avoiding everyone that sat in the booths. The diner was empty, completely void of customers other than their group, which was probably for the best considering how much food they had already ordered.

She ordered a coffee, black, and a stack of pancakes and stayed there at the counter, sitting on the last stool and mindlessly tapping the fork against the linoleum countertop. Andrew was telling everyone a story. What, exactly, she didn't know nor did she care, but he had them laughing and the only one she could hear ever so clearly was Buffy, even though her laughs were few and far in between. She blocked out the buzz, the connection, when she felt Buffy sit down next to her at the counter.

"Hey," she said softly, smiling when Faith turned to look at her. "How come you're over here all alone?"

"Dunno. Just am."

Buffy sighed as she motioned to the woman behind the counter to fill up her empty mug of coffee. They sat there for a few minutes, neither of them saying a word. Faith tensed a little as Buffy turned to her, sipping her coffee slowly. Her eyes trailed over the side of Faith's face and the rest of her body, burning into her, driving her insane with thoughts she didn't want to have, thoughts she _shouldn't_ be having when it came to Buffy.

"What do ya want, B?"

"Nothing."

"Then what are ya staring at me for?"

"Trying to figure you out," Buffy chuckled, a teasing smile dancing over her lips as Faith looked over at her. "If you must know, I'm learning how to read your mind. Are you scared?"

She let the laugh escape past her lips, her own teasing smile tugging at the corners of her mouth as she looked down into her cup of coffee and shook her head. "You're something else, aren't ya, B?"

"Oh you have no idea, F."

She wasn't used to this side of Buffy, but it was nice. She could feel the ease of the laughter that was shared between them. It was different than any time before when things were easy, or almost, between them. She could almost taste the hope between them that this was one of many steps they'd take before they could call themselves friends. It made her feel less alone, it brought a different kind of smile to her face, and for once, just once, she didn't doubt the hope she had for them to finally make amends.

Of course, she had to remind herself of what Angel had said to her over the phone. She had to give Buffy time, give her space, and give her the chance to get used to having her around again. She had to let Buffy make the first move in their friendship, let her take it that one step further when it came to talking and opening up and learning how to trust one another again. Angel told her she had remember that Buffy was hard to break, just as she was when it came to letting anyone in. If anyone knew either of them best, it was Angel. She trusted Angel and she would trust whatever he said to her when it came to Buffy.

"So, is this something I should get used to?" Buffy asked, smirking at her as she slowly turned to look at her. "This spacing out, getting lost in your own thoughts thing, I mean."

"I guess?"

"You guess?"

Faith nodded, stifling a laugh as she took a sip of her coffee. "Yeah. I guess. What, you want a better answer than that, Twinkie?"

"No. That's good enough. For now," Buffy laughed.

The woman behind the counter smiled at the two of them as she placed the plate of pancakes down in front of Faith. She dug right in, not realizing just how hungry she was until she took the first bite. She could see Buffy watching her out of the corner of her eye and every so often would glance down at the huge stack of pancakes on the plate. Faith reached for another fork and handed it to her without a word. She slid the plate over a little, doing something she never had before—offer to share her food, and with Buffy nonetheless.

"These are good," Buffy said after she'd taken a bite. "Really good."

"Good? They are fuckin' ace, B!"

Buffy raised an eyebrow as she reached out for more. She took one last bite and walked away to join the others. Faith just exchanged the look and went back to eat the rest of her breakfast alone. They were in and out of there in less than thirty minutes. She grabbed a coffee to go, ignoring Andrew when he told her she'd regret it once they were on the road for more than four hours at a time. It wasn't the first time she'd been on the road. She knew it wouldn't be the last, either. What was always the way it was for her would always just be that.

There were no fights over the music, no quiet talking. Nothing. Nothing for hours other than the sounds of the tires over the road. Miles of land passing by, becoming just another place, a small piece of memory that would soon be forgotten. It was in times like this she'd just shut off for hours at a time despite how many others were around her. The closer they got to where they'd spend however many years saving the world yet again, she felt it, and she felt that heaviness and the energy that surrounded it. The evil. So much stronger than anything she'd felt before.

They stopped a few times, mostly just to rest, to get gas, since what was the hurry. Running off to yet another Hellmouth, not knowing just what they were all walking into, was enough to make them want to take their time. Nobody had said it, but it could be felt hanging heavy around all of them. The seventh stop of the day was at the side of the road to change a flat. Faith had lost track of time since the last they'd stopped, but it was nearly dusk and they were in the middle of nowhere. Literally.

Through every stop they'd made, through the entire day, nobody had spoken. Too tired as the realization of everything that happened really began to sink in. It wasn't new for Faith, she'd felt things before, but not quite like this. It was a mix of old and new, something she didn't see coming. She stood at the side of the road, holding the flashlight for Xander as he struggled to change the flat.

"Shouldn't we try to help him?" Buffy asked as she moved to stand closer to Faith.

"Nah," Faith chuckled, finding it rather amusing as Xander gave up trying to twist the nut off. Buffy raised her eyebrow, again the way she had in the diner, and laughed softly as she crossed her arms over her chest. "You want to try?"

"Do you?"

"Nope."

"Me neither."

They both laughed as Xander turned to look at them. Faith had expected him to still be frustrated at not being able to get the wheel off and yet he knelt there and laughed right along with them. The smile and the laughter died off as Faith took a small step away from Buffy. The buzz deep inside of her felt too strong to handle and she almost felt slightly winded. It was one of those feelings that just hit her out of nowhere and she chose to blame it on being stuck in a van with seven other people. It was the same feeling she'd felt when she'd been locked up. She hated it yet embraced it all at the same time.

Things had changed, even if only a little. Still, she wondered if she could be everything she hadn't been able to be before. Just being among _them_ was enough to question whether she should even be there or not. None of them had tried to push her away, tell her to leave, or that she wasn't welcome to stay around. It had been quite the opposite and she knew it was only because she had been there for them all, especially for Buffy, during the fight against the First.

In the end Faith ended up switching the tire, claiming the front seat and smirking at Buffy as she quickly slipped into the seat. Xander got behind the wheel, laughing under his breath as Buffy forced Kennedy to sit in the far back. Buffy sat next to Willow, smirking right back at Faith as she gave the seat a nudge with her knee. She laughed to herself as she picked up the Black Sabbath CD and put it on, flipping Buffy off when she nudged the seat again. She chuckled to herself as she pushed the seat as far back as it would go and stretched out her legs.

The sounds of bitten back laughter that escaped from everyone but Buffy gave her a smile, this sense of forgiveness in an odd way. They had to do things different, their way, and whatever their way was, they seemed to be figuring it out slowly. Giles had been right. A road trip was an experience and it wasn't just about the miles they'd driven or the places they passed. It was about slowly forming a bond between all of them, building up old and new friendships from the foundation up.

It was the middle of the night when Xander pulled over to the side of the road and let Willow take over. In the odd way everyone rearranged the seating, Faith ended up next to Buffy with Xander and Kennedy next to them and Dawn and Andrew in front of them. She leaned up against the window, watching the darkening landscape roll by as she tried not to just feel Buffy as she sat a little too close for her liking. She sat up most of the night, stealing small glances over at Buffy who laid against Xander as she slept, trying to figure her out in those moments she wouldn't be seen letting down those walls she had when it came to Buffy.

"We should stop for a couple hours," Giles said quietly. "We need to get some proper rest. I'd rather not have us spend one more day on the road than we have to."

"You couldn't have thought of that last night?" Dawn protested what everyone else was thinking right then.

"Dawn," Buffy said tiredly, not even bothering to open her eyes yet.

"You want me to pull over here?" Willow asked and Faith lifted her head a little to look ahead.

Giles only nodded his head and Willow pulled into the parking lot and parked the van next to the small office. Everyone climbed out, stretching out sore and tired limbs while Giles went to get a few rooms for the day. He was in the office for not even five minutes before he came out and ordered everyone back in the van. They left without a second word after Giles explained the owners had been killed by what he suspected were werewolves. He didn't want to rush to Cleveland, but he didn't want to stick around anywhere else on the way either.

It was only an hour before they found another motel. Faith grabbed a key from Giles and headed straight for the room. She barely had her boots off before she collapsed on the bed in exhaustion. Even through the walls, she could hear the muffled voices of Buffy and Dawn in the room next to hers as she drifted off to sleep. She welcomed the noise. Any noise. Just anything to drown out her thoughts long enough for her to sleep was the only thing she needed to get a few hours of decent sleep.

Faith knew she'd been sleeping for most of the day when the sharp knocking on the door woke her up. Without even waiting for her to answer, Giles told her she had ten minutes before they were out on the road. In the other room she could hear Buffy and Dawn jokingly discuss ways to dump Giles somewhere along the way just so they could get some decent sleep for a couple of days. It only made her laugh as she got out of bed and headed for the bathroom.

Nine minutes later she was back in the van, cramped up in the same seat with Xander next to her. She grinned, laughing softly as Xander pulled out a ten dollar bill from his pocket, returning her smile as she pulled out one of her own. Neither had forgotten the bet and it was only going to make the rest of the day and night just a little more interesting. They had to get some fun outta something, was her logic, one that Kennedy and Andrew ended up buying into, finding the fun in something so harmless.

It was little things like that which made the days and the miles go by quicker. It made those lingering thoughts disappear for a little while and it helped Faith learn to just _be_ around the others. She was becoming friendlier with mostly Xander and Kennedy, the three of them finding some sort of a bond in the endless hours spent on the road. Little by little she'd find that one moment alone she shared with Buffy. Whether it was a laugh at the side of the road, or sharing breakfast, or even the soft smiles and the looks that lasted just a few seconds more with each one.

Whatever was happening between her and Buffy was something that never was there before. It was comforting at the same time that it was making her nervous. The nervous part was making her uneasy. Nobody had ever managed to make her as nervous as she felt around Buffy, yet it was different this time. She wasn't scared of Buffy; she was scared of what she was starting to feel for her. Those thoughts were swimming around, drowning out the others until it was all she could think about.

And all she could feel was the evil that kept drawing in closer with every mile that went by.

"You okay?" Xander asked softly as he turned to her.

"Fine."

"We're almost there," he said with a smile that quickly faded when Faith nodded her head. "Is something wrong?"

"No. Just itching to get out, be able to rest for a few days. Being cooped up makes me all kinds of...itchy," she said, trying so hard not to make it look like she was fumbling for words. Not wanting to let her nervousness and the anxiety she felt to be shown. It was a sign of weakness, and the last thing she wanted to do was show a side of herself that was vulnerable.

"When we find a place to stay, do you want to come with me and find a bar, have a couple of beers?"

"Sure," she replied and kicked the seat in front of her. "You two down for getting some beers with Xander and me when we get to the city?"

Willow shrugged as she looked at Kennedy. A smile and a nod was all Faith needed before flashing Xander a smile of her own. They all ignored Andrew when he asked to join them and then Buffy turned around to look at them all from the front seat, asking if she could come with them. Nobody said no, it was a continuous shrug of the shoulders with all eyes landing back on Faith as if it was up to her. It wasn't up to her. All she did was nod her head and slouch back in the seat, wondering what alternate reality she'd stepped into, while she listened to Andrew mutter to himself about being left out yet again.

Nobody was purposely leaving him out, he was just annoying and tagging along since he had nowhere else to go. Just like she did. She had nowhere else to go, but for some reason the others _wanted_ her around. She saw it in everyone's eyes whenever they just looked at her, especially Buffy's. It was that look that told her that they were all over the past. They might not have forgiven her for all her wrong doings, but they were over it and only wanting to move on from there. She'd felt it every day they'd been on the road, too, and it was one of those feelings she was having a hard time grasping on to.

It was a mad dash to get out of the van as soon as Giles pulled up to an empty looking house. He explained the old Council had properties all over the world, that this house was one of them and now was theirs. Faith, Xander, and Kennedy were the first ones inside, all three of them running up the stairs to claim one of the six bedrooms as their own. There was some kind of hidden understanding that the master bedroom was off limits to the three of them. None of them complained when Buffy claimed the room as her own—nobody but Dawn, that is, but that was expected.

Every room in the house was sparsely decorated in second-hand furniture, but it wasn't empty and Faith figured that was a hell of a lot better than trying to live in an empty house. She stayed in her room, checking out the books that lined the bookshelf on the wall. Council approved books, hundreds of them.

"Giles," she said as she stepped out into the hallway as he walked past the room. "You should check out the books in there. I think there's more in there than I saw you have in Sunnydale."

"Indeed," he replied with a smile. "Every room has hundreds of books that will be useful for us. I was going to suggest we move all the books down to the living room."

"Sounds like a good plan; y'know, after we all sleep for a week or two," Faith laughed as she walked downstairs with him to join the others in the kitchen. "We're still heading out to grab a couple of beers," she asked as she walked up to Xander, "aren't we?"

"You and I are going on a beer run while the others go and buy some food. We're just going to stay in tonight. That cool with you?"

"Sure."

The lie slid past her lips so easily, but it didn't feel completely wrong. Although she did want to go out to a bar, or preferably a club, she knew it'd have to wait for another day. She knew she didn't have to go along with whatever they wanted to do, but that nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach that had driven her insane for the last couple of days was telling her to stick around and hang out with the people she'd never actually been friends with. Until now. The bond she'd formed with all of them, even the small one with Buffy, made her finally feel that string of acceptance and she didn't want to lose it.

The store was not even a block away. She and Xander bought a few cases of beer—Bud Light since it was Xander's choice—and walked back to the house in complete, utter silence. They stocked the fridge and joined Andrew and Dawn in the living room as they tried to figure out how to get the old TV to work.

"Can't I have one?" Dawn asked as she motioned to the beer Faith had in her hand. "Buffy doesn't have to know if I have one, does she?"

"Whatever, kid."

"I am not a kid!"

"You're underage. Makes you a kid," Faith chuckled. "Better not, though, Dawn. I've gone this long without Buffy kicking my ass, kind of want to set some kind of a record."

They all laughed and settled around the old, worn couches in the living room. Andrew finally got the TV working, barely, and they sat there until the others came back with enough food to last them a week, if not more. It was finally sinking in that they were there in Cleveland, that they had a place to stay that wasn't just another motel, but a house they would soon be able to call home once they made it their own. Nobody wanted to listen to Giles as he explained that they would have to make a schedule for patrol and general household chores. After spending four days on the road, nobody wanted to think about what would happen the next day, next week, or month.

Faith slipped out onto the front porch by the time she opened her third beer. It didn't surprise her that Buffy followed her out and sat on the steps next to her without saying a word, much less casting a glance in her direction. By the third time Buffy let out a soft sigh, Faith turned to look at her, wondering if she should ask her what was bothering her. She didn't have to, though, since she could feel it. Buffy was feeling restless.

"Doesn't feel real, does it?" Buffy asked softly as she turned to look at Faith. "Being here, I mean."

"Nah, not really."

"I...can you feel it?"

"Feel what, B?"

"The energy coming from the Hellmouth."

"Yeah, I can feel it. Strong, isn't it?"

"Stronger than it was in Sunnydale, don't you think?"

"Definitely," Faith replied, smiling a little at her as she took a sip of her beer. "I've got a feeling we'll never be bored here."

"We were never bored in Sunnydale either," Buffy laughed softly. "At least this time...it's not all up to me to save the world again and again. I don't feel the weight of the world resting upon my shoulders like before. I'm kind of...relieved you are here."

"We got Kennedy too."

"Yeah, but," she laughed softly as she shook her head and looked away from Faith. "She needs to be trained and you and I both know how much work that is going to take. She's a little bit..."

"A little bit what?"

"Too confident and sloppy when she fights. Granted I've only seen her really fight as a Slayer once, but..."

"She's a hothead, B. Fights first, asks questions later, or doesn't ask questions at all. Goes straight for the kill after she's knocked 'em around a little."

"Sounds like someone else I know," Buffy smiled as she nudged her gently with her shoulder. "Not that it's a bad thing, it's just..."

"Not the right way. I know."

"No, it's right, it's just..."

"Just what, B? Irresponsible?"

"It'll get you killed if you fight like that. I know you know that now, but Kennedy doesn't. I tell you," Buffy sighed as she took a deep breath, "I am so not looking forward to helping Giles with her training."

"I'll take care of it, B."

"You will?"

"Why not? Kennedy and I are a lot alike in some ways."

"That's scary," Buffy laughed and moved away from Faith as Faith reached out to poke her in the arm. "It's scary because she's unpredictable. You know what I mean, don't you?"

"Yeah, I do. Doesn't matter though. We'll deal with it when the time comes, but you know what I want to do right now, B?"

"What?"

"I just want to sit here and chill out tonight."

"No you don't," Buffy chuckled as she moved to sit a little closer to her. "You wanted to go out to a bar, or a club, instead of staying in tonight."

"Maybe I did," she shrugged, fighting back the laughter that escaped anyway. "No big deal. Got plenty of nights to go out and have a little fun, dance for a couple hours, find someone to get a little pelvic with."

"Sure."

"What?" Faith asked, raising an eyebrow at Buffy as she let out another sigh. "You wanna come out with me one night, have a little fun? Or are ya gonna try to get me to quit that part of my life?"

"No! I mean, you can do whatever you want, Faith. I just realized we all can do whatever we want now, for the most part anyway."

"Damn right we can do whatever we want now, at least until the next apocalypse rolls around, right?"

"Right."

"Til then, Twinkie," Faith said as she wiggled her eyebrows, smiling when Buffy laughed softly, "you and me are gonna find the fun. The others can tag along with us, but nobody is gonna be able to touch the amount of fun the two of us are gonna be having."

"Fun?"

"What, you don't think we can actually have fun together?"

"Yeah, I'm not so sure if I consider your type of 'fun' the same as mine."

"And what is your type of fun then?" Faith asked, a small smile crawling over her lips as Buffy just shrugged her shoulders. "Let me guess," she teased as she raised her beer bottle to her lips and took a sip.

"Please don't," Buffy laughed as she stopped her before she could continue. "It's been too long since I've actually _wanted_ to have fun."

"How long?"

"Too long."

"Right, you said that, but how long really, B?"

"Years. I actually don't remember the last time I just..."

Faith sighed as Buffy trailed off, suddenly lost in her own thoughts. She was lost in her own thoughts too, thinking about how that had been the longest conversation they'd had in recent memory that didn't end up with them fighting physically. She thought about how nice it was, how relaxing it was just to sit there with Buffy on the front porch as the sun began to set.

"How come you decided to stay on with us?" Buffy asked quietly as she turned to look at her. "I know that you didn't know where you were going to go or what you were going to do, but why?"

"Just did," Faith replied, not knowing what else to say to that other than the obvious. She'd thought they already talked about this too, about why she was there with them, but let it slide. "I'm a Slayer. I should be on a Hellmouth, fighting the good fight."

"What about...weren't you in jail?"

"It's been taken care of."

"So, what," Buffy questioned as she furrowed her brow, "you just get off easy despite what you've done?"

"I guess, but I wouldn't call it getting off easy, B. Spent two years in prison and I know I can't claim I've changed completely, but I'm working on it. Redemption is a long and hard path and Angel doesn't think that I..."

"Angel, huh?"

"Yeah," Faith nodded, leaving it at that.

Heavy silence filled the air between them. Angel was a touchy subject between the two of them, it always had been. Things were different now and yet at the same time they weren't. Buffy got up and went inside, saying a quiet goodnight before she closed the door behind her. Faith leaned against the railing and pulled out her pack of cigarettes, lighting one as she watched the sun set in the sky. For every step forward she had taken with Buffy, one little thing sent them right back to square one, just like that.

"Brought you another," Xander said quietly as he joined her out front, handing her a fresh bottle of beer as he sat down next to her. "You and Buff have a nice little talk?"

"Guess so. Was going good then..."

"Then what?"

"I mentioned Angel and it went for shit, just like that."

"It won't always be this way," Xander said as he draped his arm over her shoulders, staying tense for a minute until he realized she wasn't pushing him away. "Give her some more time to get used to you being around before you two start in on the heart-to-heart talks."

"Yeah," she breathed out as she turned to give him a half-hearted smile. "Time. Seems like we got plenty of that for now, huh?"

"For now. Until the next apocalypse comes around."

"How long do you figure before that happens?"

"I give it..." he trailed off, chuckling as he closed his eye for a moment. "I give it a week, no less. Once word is out that we're here now, things are bound to get bad."

"Yeah," she sighed as she closed her eyes. "Things always go bad when there's a Slayer in town. Can't help but think how much worse it is gonna be now that there are three Slayers here."

"Still," Xander said with a smile as he gave her a gentle squeeze before dropping his arm from around her, "it isn't anything we can't all handle. We fought the First and we won."

"We were just lucky and our luck is bound to run out sometime."

Faith hated to say it, but that's what happened. They were just lucky and with her experience with luck, it was bound to fall apart one way or another, and it was bound to happen sooner rather than later.

She just hoped they'd all be ready for whatever life was about to hand them next.


	4. Chapter 4

Faith woke early the next morning, looking around the small apartment and groaning softly under her breath as he head pounded fiercely. She only vaguely remembered the night before, having left the house after the talk with Buffy and the brief talk she'd had with Xander. She grabbed her jacket and took off without a word, wandering the streets until she found a small club that was packed for a Wednesday night. She remembered standing at the bar for all of five minutes before a young couple joined her for drinks. One thing led to another and several drinks later, they ended up at the couple's apartment just down the street.

Even now, with the haze of the alcohol still lingering, she couldn't remember their names. She moved from the bed slowly, quietly, and picked up her clothes from the floor. Her body ached in more than just one way, in good ways and in bad. Old habits die hard. She shrugged as she quickly pulled on her clothes and walked out of the apartment before the couple on the bed she'd spent the night with woke up. The morning air was chilly as she stepped out of the building a few minutes later and it took her a couple minutes just to figure out which direction to start walking.

She wasn't too pleased with herself, especially not after having what she almost had with Robin for that short time she had been with him. It was more than anything she'd ever had before and she knew if he hadn't died, things would have gone a lot differently once they had all arrived there in Cleveland. How different it would have actually been, though, she wasn't so sure. Despite the promises Robin did make her, she wasn't sure she'd have stayed with him for more than a couple of weeks before she was bored and moved onto the next conquest.

It was more than just getting bored; she was scared of any kind of commitment and attachment. It was one of those things that made her skin crawl, made her remember the things her mother used to say to her years back, things that made her believe for so long that she was not worthy to be loved by anybody. Those things her mother had said to her, along with the way her mother just was, had shaped her into who she was here and now. It was especially in this moment when she couldn't even bear to look at herself in the reflection of the store windows she passed without feeling that twisted knot in her stomach.

She shook those thoughts from her mind, not liking the place they took her. It took her deep into the darkness that she was fully determined to conquer once and for all. Once she got most of those thoughts out, along with the thoughts of feeling like she'd betrayed someone besides herself with what she'd just done, she focused on the feeling, that buzz she felt only with Buffy, and let it lead her home.

Home. It felt weird to think it, yet at the same time it just felt right just to know that for once she did have a home; she had a room, a place of her own, and she had people that actually wanted her around now. She walked around to the side door of the house, hoping it'd be unlocked, and turned the handle, sighing out softly in relief when the door opened.

"Good morning," Giles said softly as Faith closed the door behind her. "Late night?"

"Yeah," she shrugged as she slipped off her jacket and draped it over one of the chairs at the kitchen table. "Just had to get out for the night."

"I know you are not a child and do not need to have permission to go out. However, I would appreciate it if you let me know where you are going, especially at night."

"Sorry."

"I am not trying to..."

"I get it, Giles."

"We have no idea what this city is like yet, Faith. We have yet to locate the Hellmouth and find out what has been going on and until that happens we all have to stick close to one another. Is that too much to ask?"

"No," she replied as she walked over to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. "Like I said, sorry and all. I just had to get out of here last night."

"Dare I even ask where you went off to?"

She just smirked as she raised the bottle to her lips and took a sip. She left Giles standing there in the kitchen with a look that crossed between disbelief and disappointment. She knew that look. Her conscience was giving the same look, only this time she wasn't ignoring it like she always had. Part of her redemption was accepting who she used to be, who she was now, and looking forward to who she could become once she got over everything that held her back.

Everyone was already awake and carting down armfuls of books from the rooms upstairs into the living room. Faith took one look at Willow and Andrew as they sorted the books on the floor before she headed up the stairs to her room. The door was wide open and Xander was inside, handing the books from the large bookshelf to Buffy, who placed them into the small boxes on the floor next to her. Faith stood in the doorway for a moment with a bemused look on her face before either of them noticed her standing there. Buffy barely even looked at her as she bent down to pick up the box and walked out of the room.

"What's up with her?" Faith asked as she walked in and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"I have no idea," Xander shrugged. "Been out all night, have you?"

"Sure have. You got a problem with that? Cos I've already had to deal with Giles downstairs."

"No, no problem, just asking is all," he replied, offering her a friendly smile as she pulled off her boots. "Should have everything out in no time. The bookcases aren't attached to the walls from what I can tell so we're just going to carry them downstairs, set them up, and..."

"Xander, I don't care. Just do what you gotta do and do it fast."

"It would get done a lot faster if you helped," he muttered under his breath, faint yet loud enough for her to hear him clearly. She shot him a look that he let slide as he motioned to the box on the floor next to the bed. "I'm just saying, you know, it would be faster and you'll be able to sleep the whole day away."

Faith groaned loudly as she got up from the bed and helped him with the rest of the books on the shelves. Four trips later, she was helping Kennedy carry the heavy, solid wood bookcases down the stairs, both of them ignoring Giles and Buffy as they told them repeatedly to watch out for the walls. She bit back the snide remarks she wanted to make that if they didn't like it then they should do it themselves. She was tired from the long, restless night she'd had, hungry since she hadn't eaten anything since the day before, and thirsty since the house was hot and nobody had bothered to open a single window to let in some fresh air.

Five hours and several long breaks later, the last of the bookshelves were taken from the rooms upstairs and lined up against the only wall without any windows. The living room looked like a library and it made them all laugh as a sense of déjà vu washed over them all. Even as exhausted as Faith was, she stayed down there in the living room, sipping a cold beer Xander had gotten for her as she sat there with Kennedy on the couch and watched the others try to reorganize the books before they started putting them away.

"This isn't how you thought we'd spend our first day here, is it?" Kennedy asked quietly as they both sat on the couch, slouched down about the same height with their feet propped up on the worn wooden coffee table. "I sure thought we'd be able to sleep all day, wake up for dinner, patrol or whatever, sleep and repeat."

"Missing something in there, Ken."

"Sex?" Kennedy chuckled softly. "Falls into the category of 'or whatever'. Keep up."

"Yeah, _whatever_."

Their laughter drew a look from Buffy, a look Faith couldn't quite figure out. She looked annoyed and amused at the same time. A little bit of confusion flickered in her eyes before she went back to helping the others put the books away. Faith finished off her beer and stood up slowly as she reached for Kennedy's empty bottle. She headed for the kitchen with Buffy following close behind.

"Were you out all night?"

"Yeah, and? You got a problem with that too?"

"No," Buffy replied, looking taken back at the snide tone of Faith's voice. "Where'd you go?"

"Out. Found a club, drank a little, danced a little," she replied coldly as she took two beers out of the fridge. "What do you care anyway?"

"I was just asking you a question."

"It's never just a question with you, though, is it?" Faith asked as she set one bottle down on the counter and opened the other. "Sorry about reacting like this, B. I'm not so good at the talking deal when I'm not in the mood."

"Its fine," Buffy said quickly as she smiled over at her. "I understand. I just thought it'd be nice to try and..."

"Talk?"

"Yeah."

"Can I be honest with ya for a sec?" Faith asked as she turned to face Buffy. "After all we've been through together and the shit that happened, I really don't know how to talk to you, or what to even talk about with you."

"Am I really that hard to talk to?"

"Honestly? Yeah."

"Oh. Can't we just start over, Faith?"

Faith shrugged as she took a sip of her beer, not knowing if it was even possible for the two of them to start over. There was just too much to work through and they couldn't just forget everything, drop it and move on, could they? It felt like a cop-out to Faith. She knew they had to work through their past in order to move forward now. If they couldn't move past it, they'd forever be stuck in the vicious cycle, never friends, not quite enemies, just _there_.

"How?" Faith asked softly, their eyes meeting gradually after a few long moments of heavy silence between them. "How can we start over?"

"I really don't know. I just...I don't want it to be like before."

"Neither do I."

"I think we should start by trying to be friends," Buffy said quietly as she played with the hem of her shirt, her eyes falling away from Faith's intense gaze. "I know we've already started, but..."

"But what, B?"

"It's a lot harder than I thought it'd be."

"Yeah, it is. Ever wonder why that is?"

"Every day."

"Seriously?" Faith asked, doubting that Buffy ever thought of the reasons why it was so hard for them to just be friends. "You know what I think? I think we're too different and at the same time we're too much alike. We can't find a common ground cos there is no common ground between us."

"I think you are wrong," Buffy replied as she looked back up at her. "There is a common ground."

"What is it then?"

"Uh," she laughed as she shrugged her shoulders a little. "Slaying?"

"That's all you can come up with? Our common ground is slaying?"

"Well, it's a start, Faith."

"Couldn't think of anything else, could ya?"

"No," she said softly, almost sadly, as she looked deep into Faith's eyes, the gaze lingering for a second too long, that one second more than what would constitute just a friendly look. It got the wheels in Faith's head rolling and she had to put a stop to them. "We'll work on that, though, won't we?"

"Sure."

"We were doing pretty good on the drive here," Buffy said as she walked over to the fridge and pulled out a beer for herself. "We should probably just lay it out on the line and make a list of things not to talk about."

"There has to be a list?" Faith asked, raising an eyebrow as she tried not to laugh. "Could be a pretty damn long list, B."

"I know. So," she sighed as she leaned against the counter next to her, "no talking about Angel, Robin, prison, uh..."

"Spike?" Faith offered, not knowing what else to add to that list of Buffy's things not to talk about.

"Yeah. Oh, and I don't want to hear about your...sexual encounters. Kind of wigs me out a little."

"Anything else? Cos I'm thinking this is a pretty short list."

"Uh," Buffy shrugged as she looked over at her. "We definitely talk about things that happened before, but not all at once. I just want you to know that...I don't...hate you."

"Yeah, I picked up on that already."

"I never did," Buffy said softly as she looked away, her eyes finding a spot on the floor to stare at as she picked aimlessly at the label on the bottle in her hands. "No matter what we did to each other before, Faith. I never hated you. I tried to, believe me I did. Hate is such a strong emotion and I don't think I could ever truly hate you when I..."

"When you what?"

"Nothing. Forget about it."

"Forgotten already," Faith winked as she picked up the beer from the counter and headed for the kitchen door.

The others were still putting the books away as she handed Kennedy her beer and sat down on the couch next to her. The only sounds in the room were that of Giles instructing the others where to put certain books and the odd groan of annoyance when one of them didn't listen to him. Dawn gave up and joined the two of them on the couch, muttering complaints under her breath over how she thought Giles was being too demanding, too meticulous of the order the books would be kept in.

Everyone was bored out of their minds. It was evident as the silence grew heavy in the room. Faith just clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth as she got up and headed for the kitchen to grab her jacket. Buffy was still in there, still leaning against the counter where she'd left her before. She looked so lost, so deep in her own thoughts she barely even glanced at Faith as she grabbed her jacket and headed for the side door. But Faith then felt Buffy's eyes on her as she opened the door to step out and she left the door open, knowing Buffy would follow.

They didn't say anything as Faith walked around to the backyard and sat down at the small picnic table just under the only tree back there, an elm, or at least that's what she thought it was. Buffy sat across from her, still picking at the label on the bottle as their eyes met in one of those intense gazes that made Faith feel uneasy and a whole mess of other emotions she just didn't dare think about. They were dangerous. She'd had them before, years ago when she'd first came to Sunnydale and met Buffy, and those feelings had caused nothing but trouble for her.

There was no denying that she was attracted to Buffy. Even at their lowest point that attraction had never diminished, it only got set on the back burner, stored away for another time, another place. Nobody knew how she felt, not even Angel, and she was going to keep it that way. Nothing good could come of her deep attraction to Buffy and it wasn't as if those feelings would ever be returned in the same way. She wasn't going to set herself up with the false hope of ever having something more than friendship with Buffy. She was over setting herself up for a fall and she'd vowed over and over again in the last couple of years that she'd never do it again. That she'd never let her feelings for Buffy consume her, drive her beyond the areas she was comfortable staying in.

Flashes of the night before came back to her and she could do nothing to quell it. Too exhausted, too deliciously sore to fight it. What she'd done the night before was the one thing she was used to. It felt routine just to go to the bar and strike up a friendly, flirty conversation with the best looking couple in the entire club. She'd never been with a couple before, but it wasn't as if it'd never crossed her mind. But even now she knew she didn't enjoy it, she didn't want to admit she loved that dull ache between her legs after a night of hot, wild sex with complete strangers she'd probably never see again. She took a long drag of her cigarette and closed her eyes, trying to forget, trying to erase those faded images of the night before, and trying not to fill in the blanks where everything was one big blur.

"Do you want another beer?" Buffy asked softly when Faith downed the rest of her beer, trying to shake her thoughts from her head. "Faith?"

"Hmm?"

"A beer, do you want me to go grab you another one?"

"Why?"

"You finished that one," Buffy pointed out. "Just thought you might want to sit out here with me for awhile, have a couple of beers, and maybe talk to someone else other than the voices in your head."

"Didn't take you as much of a drinker."

"I'm not, but..." Buffy sighed out as she stood up and reached for Faith's empty bottle. "I find it is almost relaxing, that is until there's been one too many and we end up..."

"End up what?"

"Nothing."

"Come on, B. Tell me," Faith teased, hoping to get it out of her. "Until we end up doing what?"

Buffy shook her head and walked back to the house quickly, leaving Faith sitting there with her mouth dropped open slightly and the wheels in her head turning furiously as she tried to figure out what Buffy had been trying to say to her. When Buffy finally came back out, she wasn't alone. Xander, Kennedy, and Willow were with her. A part of her was relieved she wouldn't have to sit out there alone with Buffy. Being alone with Buffy scared her for too many reasons to even think of now.

They were all talking about plans to go out shopping the next day. Giles had, over the course of the morning and most of the afternoon, given in to the pleas coming from Dawn and Buffy over the fact that they all needed clothes and other essentials. Faith just sat there next to Xander, staring over at Buffy and Willow, who were deep in conversation, chattering excitedly as they planned the shopping trip right down to the last detail. Faith rolled her eyes as did Xander and Kennedy; the three of them shared a look and burst out laughing.

It was easiest to get along with Xander and Kennedy out of all of them. She chalked it down to the three of them finding an easy way just to be around each other without any tension and stress like she felt whenever she was around Buffy. Xander was going through a lot and even though he hadn't said a word about Anya, they all knew he spent a lot of time thinking about her, pining over her, mourning her all the while trying to keep his spirits up and that goofy smile on his face.

"I'm going on a beer run," Xander said as he finished off his beer. "You coming, Faith?"

"Nah, I'm gonna sit right here and chill."

"Kennedy?"

"I'm with Faith on the whole sitting right here and chilling thing," she chuckled. "Looks like you're on your own, Xander."

"Fine," he grumbled as he stood up from the bench. "Any special requests?"

"Light beer," Kennedy replied. "Something that tastes a little less like horse piss this time."

"Whiskey," Faith said with a smile, "and lots of it."

"Money is kind of an issue here," Xander said softly as he pulled out the pockets of his jeans to demonstrate that fact. "Cough it up, Faith. I paid the last time."

"Cough what up?" She asked innocently, not even blinking as Xander held out his hand. She laughed as she pulled out a few bills from her pocket, ignoring the look she received from Buffy and Willow as she handed over the cash. "Remember. Whiskey. And no more of this piss you call beer."

"Didn't hear you complaining till Kennedy said something."

"Well, I was waiting for someone else to say something. Got a problem with that?"

"No, no problem," Xander said quickly. "I'll be back in a bit."

"We got him whipped," Kennedy whispered as she moved to sit a little closer to Faith. "Fucking whipped."

"You think?" Faith laughed as she shook her head and pulled out her pack of cigarettes, offering one to Kennedy before she lit one for herself.

Willow gave Kennedy a look that scared even Faith. Kennedy placed the unlit cigarette on the table and blew Willow a kiss. As soon as Willow was back to engaging in the conversation she and Buffy were having, Kennedy turned to Faith and just rolled her eyes.

"Looks like you're whipped too, Ken," Faith chuckled softly, just loud enough for her to hear.

"It's really not a bad thing seeing how it does work both ways. Just watch," she smiled brightly as she reached over for Willow's hand. "You want to go for a little walk, Will?"

"Now?"

"Yes, now," Kennedy said, tugging on Willow's hand as she stood up. "We'll be back."

Buffy and Faith both laughed as Willow allowed herself to be dragged into the house. The two looked at each other as the laughter faded. They were back to being alone again and Faith could almost taste the tension in the air. She thought now that maybe a little alcohol and some fun would help loosen their tongues and let them become comfortable just being around one another. She wasn't one for drinking every day, but the way things were looking that was exactly what would end up happening if they didn't find a way just to be themselves around each other.

"It doesn't always have to be like this," Buffy said quietly, tearing Faith away from her thoughts.

"Be what way?"

"Like this," Buffy gestured between them. "All this..."

"Tension?"

"Yeah. _Tension_. If that's what you want to call it."

"It is what it is, B."

"What were you thinking about?"

"When?"

"Just now," Buffy said, slight annoyance slipping out as she spoke. "You are always lost in your own thoughts, Faith, and don't try and tell me you are sitting there and not thinking, because your eyes tell a very different story."

"Nothing important," Faith breathed out as she took one last long drag of her cigarette before dropping it into her empty bottle. "Why does it fuckin' matter? It's not like we've ever been big on the sharing what we're thinking about."

"Don't you think we should start? Or at least try to?"

"Why?"

"Because," Buffy sighed out softly as she shook her head. "That is what friends do. They talk about whatever they are thinking about."

"Got some news for you, Twinkie. You and me? We aren't friends."

"Not yet. We won't ever get there if you keep pushing me out"

"I'm not fucking pushing you out!"

"Oh really?" Buffy asked as she raised an eyebrow at her, looking as if she was fully determined to prove her wrong. "Well, you aren't exactly inviting me in either, so that's pretty much the same as pushing me out every chance you get."

Faith breathed in and out evenly as she tried to control the bubbling anger growing inside of her, not knowing why Buffy was pushing all of her buttons. "You are doing the same fucking thing to me. It's what we've always done. Never let each other in, always pushing each other out. Same old fucking song and dance. It's never gonna change."

"You know why it won't change?"

"No, I don't, so why don't you tell me why since you seem to think you have the fucking answers to everything."

"Faith..." Buffy sighed out, still sounding very much annoyed and yet there was a hint of tiredness in her voice. "I really don't want to do this with you. I'm trying to be civilized with you because it's the right thing to do. You're here with all of us, you're a part of us and our lives now, so don't you think you should let us in just a little so that we can be a part of your life too?"

_Why_, was the question Faith wanted to ask her, but she said nothing as she lowered her eyes and picked at the peeling paint on the table. The mid-afternoon sun was warm, the breeze a little cool, but she felt warm all over as she looked up and saw Buffy studying her intently, waiting for her to speak and looking like she was trying to figure out what was going through Faith's head at that moment.

They had a long way to go to get over everything that was holding them back. They both needed to say all of the things they never said but should have if they ever wanted to move on from that point. Faith chuckled softly to herself, wondering when she started thinking and over-thinking everything. It wasn't like her; then again, her life had changed since she'd been in prison. Too much time alone equalled too much time to think. It hadn't stopped when she got out and it hadn't stopped even after the fight with the First and that feeling deep inside of her, that screaming voice she'd always tuned out before, was telling her it'd never stop until it did.

That ever familiar itch was crawling to the surface, stronger now with the energy coming from the Hellmouth. Itching to seek out the vamps and demons she just knew were crawling all over the city. Itching to fight, itching to kill, and to sate her urges afterwards in ways she knew best and in ways she'd missed doing for years. She knew Buffy was feeling it too. She could just feel it as much as she could see it. That telltale look in Buffy's eyes mirrored that of her own, only the urges she felt were drastically different. A non-fat yogurt different. It made her laugh, yet again, and she allowed her eyes to wander over to meet with Buffy's, smirking at the oblivious look on Buffy's face.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing," Faith chuckled as she shook her head.

"Seriously, tell me what the hell is so funny, Faith."

"Just thinking how we're both feeling the energy here, feeling a little antsy and agitated, itching just to get out there and slay."

"That's funny how?"

"Cos the urges we feel after," Faith drawled out as she continued to pick at the paint. "So much the same, yet so drastically different."

"How different?"

"Non-fat yogurt different, unless...you pulled that stick outta your ass while I've been gone and no, I'm not counting the fact you did the nasty with Spike, cos...ew," Faith said as she pulled a face, and then quickly continued before Buffy could say a word, "and yes I know that Spike is on that list of things not to talk about, I just had to..."

"Point it out," Buffy finished for her with a roll of her eyes.

"So, have you?"

"Have I what?"

"Moved on from the non-fat yogurt craving afterwards? Pulled that stick outta your ass and found the fun? Shall I go on?"

"No."

"No to what?"

"To all of it," Buffy sighed as she looked down at her hands in her lap. "How come you always think of slaying as fun, Faith? It's not fun. It's so far from it."

"You gotta start thinking differently, B. Sure it's not fun, but you gotta find the fun in it wherever you can," Faith replied, offering a friendly smile as Buffy looked up at her. "You know, newbie vamps are fun to smack around a little especially when ya come across the ones who are confused as fuck, letting that bloodlust drive them. It's fun to play with them for a little while before ya dust 'em."

"I guess."

"You guess? Jesus, B. Looks like I'm gonna have to take you out, find the fun one night, and show ya what you've been missing since you've been called."

"We've been there before," Buffy reminded her. "Honestly? I didn't find it all that fun. Slaying is just a job, Faith. It's our destiny. We have no other choice. How can something like that be fun?"

For once she just sat there and considered things as she came to the realization that Buffy was right at the same time that she was wrong. Buffy looked back down at her hands in her lap and Faith took that moment just to look at her. It was hard to read Buffy, she always knew that, but she knew there was something bothering her, something stressing her out, and she wasn't sure how to ask Buffy just what it was. She'd meant it when she said she didn't know how to talk to her and right then and there she wished it was different between them.

"I thought once we came here that...and this feels stupid to say, but...I thought maybe things would change," Buffy mused as she slowly lifted her eyes to look over at Faith. "I thought it'd be easier. Nothing is ever going to be easy, is it?"

"No, it's not. I got over that trauma years ago, B. It's not easy to accept that things are always gonna be fucking hard, but you gotta accept it one way or another if you expect to ever just live," Faith sighed as she pulled out another cigarette and she tried to still her shaking hands just long enough to light it. "Look at it this way though. You don't have to go through this alone. Got me here now and Ken to share the burden with, then don't even get me started on all the girls out there that suddenly have superpowers."

"You're right."

"What was that?" Faith teased, watching as the small smirk crept over Buffy's lips as she fought to keep it away. "Did you just say I am right?"

"Yeah. Don't let it get to you. Probably be the only time you are."

"Ouch."

Buffy shook her head and laughed. It was a genuine laugh, and Faith couldn't recall the last time she'd actually heard it. It made her smile and it was one of those smiles that rooted itself deep down and worked its way up and out. It was also one of those smiles she'd gone far too long without doing and it felt good. Really damn good. The friendship that was slowly building between them would bring a lot of different things to the table, one of them being the fact that around Buffy she wanted to do nothing more than to try to be a better person. Wanting to be a better person around Buffy wasn't completely new, but she hadn't felt that way in a very long time.

They sat there in complete, utter silence until Xander had come back from the store. Faith had pulled a branch off the tree and had been carving it for a good hour before he'd come back. They sat out there until the dusk began to fall and then the three of them went inside to find Willow and Kennedy cooking up a storm in the kitchen. Nobody'd had a home cooked meal in...well Faith wasn't sure how long it'd been for them, but it felt like forever and a day for her. She knew it'd been awhile, too long, since they'd all had decent food and in the last week all they'd eaten had been greasy food at roadside diners.

Faith grabbed the bottle of whiskey off the counter, looking over at Xander and giving him a small smile, a silent thank you for picking up what she'd asked for. She grabbed a couple of small glasses and sat at the table with Giles, Buffy, and Dawn. She poured them each a glass, aside from Dawn, and raised her glass a little before taking most of it back. Buffy just raised an eyebrow at her and at how fast she'd downed the alcohol. She just stared right back at Buffy, silently challenging her to keep up with her, glass for glass, shot for shot.

With every drop that rolled over her tongue, she tried to forget what had happened the night before. It left a bitter taste in her mouth and her whole body wrenched with disappointment in herself. Again with all the new feelings, the new thoughts. She was getting used to it all, though. In fact, she knew by the third drink, despite the fact the alcohol was probably loosening up her flow of thoughts, that she was embracing this newer part of herself with open arms. She was on the path to redemption and she knew the first person that needed to forgive her was herself. She would, in time. She knew it would happen but it wouldn't happen overnight.

Nothing was ever easy. Nothing ever would be, not unless she made it that way.

Never once did she take her eyes off of Buffy as the two of them drank half the bottle by themselves before the dinner Willow and Kennedy had made was ready and on the table. Buffy could barely eat as she sat there swaying slightly with the alcohol coursed through her body. Faith could only reach out and place a hand tentatively on her shoulder to stop her from swaying, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze before pulling her hand away. She felt the warmth she always felt around Buffy, but didn't let it drive in deep as she usually let it. She let that warmth wrap itself around her and it felt good. Everything about it felt way too damn good.

They all ended up in the living room together after they'd eaten and cleaned up. Faith sat alone in one of the armchairs, Giles in the other, and the rest of them sprawled out on the two couches. She had the bottle of whiskey in her hand and was taking small, gentle swigs every so often. Her eyes locked with Buffy's and she knew she was feeling something lingering there between them over the distance and the sound of soft chattering among the others. Whatever it was, she could see in Buffy's eyes that she felt it too. The alcohol they'd both consumed had left them unguarded for once.

And Faith was scared. She was more scared than she'd ever been in her life and all because of what she thought she saw in Buffy's eyes in that split second before Buffy turned to talk quietly to Willow.

She was scared because what she thought she saw was something deep, something real, lingering there. Something she'd never seen aimed at her before. She shook her head and laughed to herself, wondering why she'd even _think_ Buffy would love her. The alcohol was definitely messing with her head.


	5. Chapter 5

Another day and yet another hangover. Faith groaned as she blinked a couple times, her eyes adjusting to the brightness of the morning sun streaming in through the living room window. She had to stop drinking the way she had been, she knew she did. Her head was pounding something fierce and her body was stiff from being on the couch all night. There was only so much her body could take and she still hadn't slept off the exhaustion from the fight a week ago. She moved to stretch out and that's when she realized she wasn't lying on the couch alone. A warm body was behind her, an arm draped loosely over her stomach and a face buried into the back of her neck, the soft breaths tickling her skin.

"Fuck, not again," she whispered to herself as she turned just a little to confirm what she already knew was true. "How the hell has this happened again?"

"Huh?" Buffy asked softly as she opened her eyes, groaning and shutting them quickly. "What time is it?"

"Early."

"Faith?" Buffy sat up quickly as soon as she realized the position they were in. "I uh...how did we...crap...this is not good."

"Drank too much last night," Faith muttered as she slowly sat up on the couch and leaned back next to her. "Must have fallen asleep on the couch together last night or something."

"Uh yeah, looks like. But why?"

"Beats the fuck outta me, you're the one fuckin' spooning me here, B," Faith replied in what was supposed to be a playful voice, but it came out harsh as if she was disgusted when in fact it was quite the opposite. "Don't worry about it," she said when Buffy began to breathe a little quicker, her eyes darting around in worry. "You were probably just trying to keep warm or some shit, B. Didn't bother me none."

"But you said, 'not again'. When the hell has this happened before for this to be 'again', Faith?"

"Uh, B? Can we at least get some coffee or something right now? Can't think straight with this pounding in my head."

Buffy just shrugged as she closed her eyes and leaned her head against the back of the couch. She stood up on shaky legs and left Buffy there in the living room while she headed for the kitchen to throw on a pot of coffee. She stood by the sink, listening to the pot brewing, and looked out the window while she gripped onto the edge of the counter to keep from swaying back and forth. She could feel Buffy before she heard her walk into the kitchen and grab a bottle of water out of the fridge, downing it in seconds and groaning softly as she leaned against the fridge.

"I am never drinking again," Buffy moaned as Faith turned to look at her. "Correction, I am never drinking with _you_ again."

Faith chuckled softly, shaking her head as she closed her eyes and brought her hands up to rub her throbbing temples. "Deal. I don't think I'm gonna drink with me ever again."

"You do realize that made absolutely no sense while making complete sense at the same time?"

They both laughed softly, the sounds of their laughter without a doubt floating through the rest of the sleeping house. It died off quickly and Faith watched the coffeepot fill with every steady drip. She thought back to what she did remember of the night before, the images blurry, but there. She and Buffy had ended up drinking the rest of the bottle together long after the others had called it a night. They'd talked, but about what exactly she couldn't recall now. She remembered trying to move from the couch to go up to her room only to be pulled down with Buffy whispering to her to stay there with her until she fell asleep. As weird as it was for the two of them to be the way they were together, it felt right. Too right.

Faith grabbed a cup of coffee as soon as the pot was finished brewing, followed by her jacket as she headed out to the front porch. She hated feeling so unsteady, her muscles twitching with every breath she took. It wasn't just the hangover that made her feel that way, it was the way she'd woken up with Buffy so close to her. She could almost still feel the soft, warm breath against the back of her neck as she stepped outside and quietly closed the door behind her. Shaking it off, she placed her mug down on the step as she slipped her jacket on, the morning air cool enough to make her shiver.

For once she didn't light a cigarette right away. She just sat down on the steps and leaned against the railing, sipping her coffee slowly as she watched the world, well just the neighbourhood, wake up around her. The hum from the city was comforting and it mixed with the energy of the Hellmouth that just made her entire body want to go out there and slay. They would soon enough, though, she knew that, but she was impatient, just as she always had been. She just couldn't wait to get out there and get her hands on a vampire or a demon, whatever came her way first. She chalked up the last two nights to the mounting frustration she'd been feeling since the fight with the First. Not even getting her itch scratched with the couple she'd picked up at the bar had been enough to quell that frustration.

She stayed out there long enough to finish her coffee before she headed inside and went straight upstairs. She needed a shower and a couple more hours of sleep to clear the fuzziness of the hangover from her body and mind. She went right to the bathroom closest to her room, grabbing a fresh towel out of the linen closet on the way. The house was quiet aside from the whispers she heard coming from Buffy's room, but she ignored them and headed for the bathroom.

Her mind was barrelling forward a mile a minute with thoughts of the night before. She couldn't stop herself from thinking about that look she'd seen in Buffy's eyes, that look of what she had no doubt was love. Why Buffy had that look in her eyes when she looked at her, at _her_ of all people, was bothering her. It made her skin crawl, not in the bad way, but in the way where she was agitated and confused with what that look meant. Waking up with Buffy's arm around her had derailed her thoughts and sent her into a tailspin she couldn't get out of. It had woken up that deeply woven attraction she'd been fighting to keep hidden deep down inside since she came to help them all in the fight against the First.

Faith quickly showered and went back to her room, quietly reminding herself to get a lock for the door as soon as she could. She hated living in a house full of other people. Well, she didn't exactly _hate_ it, she just wasn't used to it and she liked her privacy. She crawled into bed, hoping for a dreamless sleep, knowing it was too much to hope for especially with all that had happened recently. She hoped to sleep the day away, to sleep away the thoughts that plagued her mind and the fatigue her body was so used to feeling. She laid there staring up at the ceiling, listening as the others woke up to start their day. She fell asleep, finally, to the sounds of Andrew and Kennedy arguing in the kitchen, laughing softly before she finally succumbed to another restless sleep full of dreams and nightmares she'd rather not have.

****

It was dark when she woke up and the house was eerily quiet. She felt better than she had that morning, the hangover no longer there, the pounding in her head dulled enough for it to be bearable, yet those thoughts, all of them, still plagued her mind. She lay there for a few minutes, allowing herself some time to wake up and stretch. As restless as she'd slept, the bed was surprisingly comfortable, the sheets soft and freshly washed. The sound of laughter as the front door opened made her get out of bed and get dressed quickly.

She joined the others in the living room, watching as they took the clothes that they'd bought that afternoon out of the bags, comparing everything they bought for themselves. She cursed under her breath for having missed the opportunity to get herself more clothes, but it didn't bother her. She always did what she could with as little as she had and this was no different. Kennedy handed her a bag, smiling as her eyebrows went up in surprise.

"I'm not sure what you like, but you didn't bitch before so I got you a few more things today," Kennedy said to her as Faith pulled out the clothes from the bag. "Now you _really_ can't say I've never done anything for you."

"Appreciate it, Ken. Thanks."

"Nobody wanted to wake you up earlier," she said quietly as she sat on the arm of the chair Faith was sitting in. "Buffy said you two were up late drinking and I know you haven't been sleeping much lately."

Faith just nodded, dropping the bag to the floor as she leaned back in the chair. She knew Kennedy wanted to say something else, she could just see that she was holding it back, biting her tongue because the others were around. She wondered if Buffy had told Willow about how they'd woken up that morning together on the couch. She wouldn't doubt that she did and that Kennedy had heard it from Willow. She knew for certain that it had been talked about when she caught Buffy's eyes from across the room and saw the small blush creep over her cheeks before she looked away.

"We're going out to patrol tonight to check out the cemetery a few blocks from here," Kennedy said softly as the others gathered their bags and headed upstairs. "Then I was thinking you and I could have a little talk afterwards."

"About what?"

"You know, just in general stuff. Get to know each other, talk about what's going on with you and Buffy."

"Nothing is going on with me and Buffy."

"Yeah, that's the problem."

Faith raised an eyebrow at her as she stood up from the chair. "I don't know what the fuck you're going on about, Ken."

"Everyone sees it," she said softly. "There's something definitely there between you two."

"Like what?"

"I don't know," Kennedy replied with a sly smile. "Maybe you two just need to fuck and get it over with already."

"Excuse me?" Faith laughed as she walked to the kitchen with Kennedy following close behind. "I think ya need to check your sanity, Ken. There's nothing going on with Buffy and me. We're trying to be friends, trying being the key word here, and it's not really working. We've never been able to be friends."

"Because you two need to fuck, that's why."

Faith laughed as she punched Kennedy playfully in the shoulder. "We don't need to fuck. Story, end of. I think you are getting your wires crossed up there," she said as she flicked her fingers against Kennedy's forehead.

"You know," Kennedy groaned as she rubbed her forehead slowly. "If I didn't like you, I would have kicked your ass just now."

"You really think you could take me?"

"I _know_ I could take you, Faith. There's just one problem," she chuckled as she leaned against the counter and crossed her arms. "Buffy told me not to get into it with you since you've got a hot head and get outta control way too fast."

"Well she's not wrong about that, I'll give you that much," Faith smirked as she opened the fridge and reached around the back for a beer, stopping herself and choosing a bottle of water instead. "So, you excited about going out on patrol tonight?"

"Sure. Isn't the first time I've been on patrol, but Giles told us not to expect too much activity for a while. Word has gotten out that we're in town and I think a lot of the baddies are skipping out of town as fast as they can."

"Figures," Faith chuckled softly as she hoisted herself up on the counter and took a sip of her water. "We show up in town and they all fucking run scared."

"Can't be an entirely bad thing, though, right?"

"Who knows? The only thing I'm worried about is where they're running to."

"That's what Giles said this morning. We'll know more as the days go on and I say," Kennedy smirked as she hoisted herself up on the counter next to Faith. "I say we just enjoy this downtime for as long as we can since we don't know how long it'll last."

"And how do you suggest we do that?"

"Just chill and whatever," Kennedy replied with a smile. "I mean, after the last couple of months, none of us have really been able to just be normal and enjoy life, you know? I really miss the days when I had no idea that the things that go bump in the night really were real and at the same time, I don't, because I know I can beat them. Besides, there's nothing better than knowing you can beat them no matter what."

Faith nodded, smiling right back at her, seeing so much of herself in Kennedy that it was almost scary. She knew they got along so easily was because of the fact they weren't that different in personality, aside from the fact that Kennedy, as far as she knew, had never killed a human before. One day she knew the two of them would have a nice long talk and she'd tell Kennedy things she never could tell anyone else. The comfort factor she felt around her was unlike anything she'd felt around another human being before. It was just easier with Kennedy. She hadn't been there before when everything went bad and she'd only heard the stories, shrugging them off as tall tales and choosing to make her own judgement when it came to her opinion on Faith.

"So tell me something, Faith," Kennedy said softly as she stared long and hard at her. "Why is it that you and Buffy have such a hard time getting along?"

"Lots of history, bad history, we haven't gotten over."

"Is that all? I mean, I see the way she looks at you sometimes."

"Like how?"

"I don't know," she shrugged. "Sometimes I think I see her trying to figure you out, pick you apart, layer by layer and other times there's just...I don't know, some kind of love and admiration there."

"What the hell are ya smoking, Ken? Buffy doesn't _love_ me. Nobody loves me, it's just the way it is and the way it probably always will be. I'm the type of person people don't love and I know you don't even know me yet, but it is how it is. Nothing is going to change."

"Okay, stop," Kennedy sighed out as she hopped off the counter and stood right in front of Faith. "You need to stop with the pity parade and the whole 'nobody is ever gonna love me' bullshit, because I know that can't be true. Maybe nobody has ever been vocal about their feelings towards you because they know exactly how you are going to react. Have you ever thought about that?"

"It isn't a pity parade or bullshit," Faith said under her breath, staring long and hard down at Kennedy. "You have no fuckin' idea what you're talking about either, Ken."

"It really works you up, doesn't it? Knowing that someone probably feels something for you and it's driving you insane because you aren't used to it. Bet you wish everyone here didn't even want you around since life would be _so_ much easier for you to deal with that way, wouldn't it?"

"I know what you're doing, Kennedy."

"And what am I doing?"

"You're trying to break through the walls I got up around me, aren't ya?"

"Is it working?"

Faith let out an exasperated sigh. Kennedy was getting to her, but she didn't want to let her know it. It made her laugh and want to punch her at the same time. "No," she said finally as she fought to keep the smirk from slipping out.

"Liar."

"Okay, fine," Faith laughed as she hopped off the counter. "It's working. Just a little. You want to do me a favour and stop doing it?"

"Why? Does it bother you?" Kennedy asked, poking her in the back as she tried to walk away. "It does, doesn't it? It bothers you I can get under your skin the way I am and that I actually _care_ enough to want to break down your walls, doesn't it?"

"Stop it."

"Can't handle it, can you, Faithy? Can't handle the fact that someone actually fucking cares about you and no," Kennedy smirked as Faith spun around to face her, "I am not just talking about myself, I'm talking about everyone under this roof."

"Don't..."

"Come on," Kennedy laughed as she playfully smacked Faith across the cheek, testing her to see how much she'd take before she snapped. "It really does bother you, doesn't it?"

"Fine, yes! It bothers me. Is that what you want to fucking hear? Jesus Christ," Faith sighed out, forcing back the bubbling anger and the urge to kick Kennedy's ass right then and there. "You're a fucking annoying little brat, ya know that?"

"Oh I know it. I embrace it," Kennedy replied cockily as she stepped right into Faith's personal space. "What are you going to do about it, Faithy?"

"Nothing."

It took a lot to back down, to keep that anger from bubbling over even though she knew Kennedy was just teasing her, pushing all her buttons to see how far she could go. Kennedy only smirked as she took a couple steps back, looking rather pleased with herself as she smoothed out her shirt. Kennedy held out her hand, looking like she wanted to call a truce on the conversation, but when Faith reached out she found herself face first on the floor in seconds.

"Told you I could take you," Kennedy laughed as she got up from pinning her down and helped her up to her feet. "Sorry, just couldn't resist."

"Yeah, whatever," Faith said with a forced smile. "Just don't fucking try that shit again unless you're looking for a serious beat down."

"What's going on?" Buffy asked as she and Willow walked into the kitchen. "Who is getting a serious beat down?"

"Nobody," Faith said under her breath. "Just witnessed the tail end of the start of a beautiful friendship."

"Sarcasm, yet it's the truth," Kennedy chuckled as she wrapped her arms around Willow and stole a kiss. "Are you coming with us on patrol?"

"No, I'm staying behind. It's just you three tonight."

Faith grabbed her water and left the kitchen, unable to take the penetrating gaze Buffy was suddenly directing at her. She joined Giles and Xander in the living room and sat down in the chair near the window, sighing as she turned to look outside. No matter how much she'd tried to think of everything but that morning, she couldn't stop replaying that moment she woken up. Had it been anyone else that woke up pressed so close to her she would have flipped, but it was Buffy. _Buffy_.

All she'd dreamt about was Buffy. All she could think about even when she wasn't paying attention to those thoughts running through her mind was Buffy. She needed to seriously get out of the Buffy loop she'd fallen into. It was just like before, only this time something was different. Something she just couldn't quite put her finger on. The things that Kennedy had said to her were bothering her too. She felt even more restless as she shifted in the chair and looked over at Giles and Xander as they gazed down at a map of the entire city that was spread out over the coffee table.

"What do you think, Faith?" Xander said as he motioned for her to come over and check out the map. "We've figured out the areas with the most activity and created an effective route to take for patrol each night."

Faith got up, walked over to the couch, sat down next to him, and looked over the map. Four major areas had been highlighted in red. She guessed those were the active areas. There were a few yellow and the rest of the map blank. The house was circled and a route laid out that would take them through each of the four major areas.

"Explain?" She asked as she looked over at Giles. "Two different routes. Does that mean Kennedy is going to be with one of us?"

"For now," Giles replied with a ginger nod of his head. "This would be a good way to get her trained properly. Tonight, though, I want the three of you to stick together."

"Sounds good," she shrugged as she examined the map a little closer. "What's with the yellow areas?"

"Minimal activity," Xander explained. "At least one incident a week in the yellow areas. The red areas, well," he laughed sharply as he sat back and opened the can of Coke that had been on the edge of the table, "I think you know how bad the red areas are."

"No, I don't. Tell me."

"A dozen incidents a day, on average," Giles answered when Xander shrugged as he drank his Coke.

"This is definitely worse than Sunnydale," Faith sighed as she looked over the map again. "It's also three times bigger than Sunnydale. There is no way we'll be able to cover this much ground in a night, even if we are separated."

"It is," Giles nodded slowly. "Fortunately there are three of you here to take care of things. As you might know, word has travelled that we are in town. There shouldn't be any major problems for a couple of weeks. And as for covering those four major areas, we'll focus on two at a time."

"And what happens when things get out of control? I mean, worst case scenario, we can't handle it on our own, then what?" Faith asked, needing to know what the backup plan would be.

"We'll bring in some of the other Slayers, train them, and have them here to help us, but that won't be necessary, Faith. I know that between you, Buffy, and Kennedy things will be kept under control."

"Besides," Xander cut in as he leaned forward, "if things really do get out of hand, we'll cover the yellow areas and pick up the slack any way that we can."

"You guys have really figured things out, haven't ya?" Faith asked, chuckling softly as she leaned back against the couch and looked at Giles then over at Xander. "Anything else that I missed out on today that I should know about?"

"Shopping trip from hell," Xander muttered under his breath as Giles laughed softly and walked into the kitchen. "I'm serious, Faith. You should have been there. Between Buffy and Dawn, my god, I'd never seen two women fight over the same jacket like that before. I swear at one point I thought that Dawn was going to snatch Buffy bald-headed."

"Sounds...amusing," she laughed as she shook her head. "What's the sitch on the basement?"

"The basement?"

"Yeah, like a heavy bag, some weights, you know...stuff we're gonna need to train during the day?"

"Far as I know, it's a work in progress. Giles is taking care of it. Everything is a work in progress right now, actually," Xander replied and he turned to look at her, sighing as he shook his head and took another sip of his Coke. "Andrew spent the entire afternoon trying to convince Giles to spring for a good TV."

"And?"

"And he didn't budge and you know what he told him? Told him, well all of us in general, if we want the extras and stuff to entertain ourselves, we'll have to find jobs and pay for them ourselves."

"Great."

"Faith?" Buffy called out from the front door. "We're leaving!"

"Great," she repeated as she rolled her eyes and got up from the couch. "Later, Xand."

She grabbed her jacket, slipped on her boots, and caught up with Buffy and Kennedy at the end of the driveway. Buffy handed her a stake and began walking without a word. Faith and Kennedy only exchanged a look and a shrug as they followed her, staying a couple paces behind her. The first cemetery was only two blocks away and they followed Buffy through the front gates. Faith twirled her stake in her hand, feeling out the energy that grew heavier the further they walked into the large cemetery. The place was crawling with the undead. She could feel it with every breath she took.

"You feel that?" Kennedy whispered to her.

"Oh yeah."

"Is it always like this?"

"Only when we get close enough," Faith replied, coming to a stop along with Kennedy as Buffy turned to face them. "What do you think, B? Spread out?"

"No," she said as she shook her head. "We stick together. That's the plan."

"Since when do you do things according to the plan?" Kennedy shot out, the energy surrounding them starting to get to her and drive her. Faith recognized that wild look in her eyes, the Slayer in her itching to get out. "Seriously, don't you think it'd be better if we did split up like Faith said?"

"No," Buffy said again through clenched teeth. "You aren't ready to be on your own out here, Kennedy. I'm sorry, but for tonight we all stay close together. End of story."

"Bitch," Kennedy muttered under her breath as soon as Buffy had begun to walk away. Faith shook her head when Kennedy went to add another comment to that, warning her with a hardened glare not to go on.

Faith kept her mouth shut, as did Kennedy from that point on. The first hour dragged on until they came across a small group of vampires passing through the cemetery. Buffy ordered them behind a row of headstones and they watched as the seven vampires disappeared inside a large mausoleum. Faith already knew the plan long before Buffy quietly explained it to Kennedy. They kept it simple, in and out, catch the group of vampires off-guard and end it quick as possible.

Kennedy was too excited and Faith grabbed her by the arm before she could leap up. "Just chill, Ken. You gotta stick with the plan."

"Since when do _you_ stick to the plan? Thought you went all living large on vamps without a care in the world?"

"We're outnumbered and we gotta play it safe," she hissed softly as she caught Buffy staring over at them as she crept towards the mausoleum. "Just use your fuckin' head, Ken, okay?"

"Whatever."

"I'm serious," Faith said firmly as they followed Buffy, keeping a low profile while at the same time keeping an eye out for any other vampires that decided to come crash the party. "In and out. I don't wanna have to drag your ass outta there when you can't fight cos you've decided to be careless."

"Come on," Buffy whispered as she motioned for them to hurry up. "In and out."

"No fucking around, Ken," Faith said as she gave out her final warning, hoping that Kennedy wasn't as stubborn as she was portraying herself to be. She didn't want to have to drag her out of there because she was too into fighting rather than taking the vampires out.

Buffy went in first and Faith and Kennedy were right behind her. The vampires inside barely had time to realize their little party was crashed before three of them were nothing but a pile of ash. Faith fell into the fight, feeling every bit of her come alive with every punch and every kick. Only twice she looked over at Kennedy, making sure she was okay, and she was proving that she could very much hold her own. She paid no attention to Buffy, knowing she didn't have to worry about her at all, and she made short work of the two vampires she fought alone just as Buffy and Kennedy finished off the ones they fought.

"In and out? Piece of fucking cake," Kennedy laughed as they walked outside, the cool night air providing relief from the muggy interior of the damp mausoleum.

"We got lucky," Buffy sighed as she leaned against the stone wall and tucked her stake inside her jacket pocket. "It won't always be that easy, Kennedy."

"After the fight against the First and the Turok-Han? Anything is going to be easy," Kennedy replied as she paced in front of both Buffy and Faith. "I don't know about you two, but I could really use a little more action tonight."

Buffy and Faith exchanged a look and shrugged. They both knew what it was like to be a new Slayer, to feel the power, to want more, to crave it. Faith still felt that, but she knew Buffy didn't. She'd lost that somewhere along the way. Faith leaned against the wall next to Buffy, breathing heavily from the fast-paced fight. One look at Buffy and she knew the night was far from over. She knew they'd be out patrolling until dawn and she couldn't wait to see what else the night would bring their way. It felt far too long since she'd just been out on patrol without any apocalypses to deal with.

"Where to now, B?"

"We'll check the rest of the place out and move on to the next," she replied with a faint smile. "You did see the map, didn't you?"

"Yeah, before we left."

"You'll remember how to get us home, right?"

"Are you fuckin' kidding me?" Faith laughed as she nudged Buffy's shoulder with her own. "Seriously, B. You _are_ kidding right?"

"Yeah. Relax, Faith. Unlike you and your habits of sleeping all day and drinking all night, I actually do productive things in my life."

"Ouch," she laughed as she clutched at her chest. "You just don't hold anything back, do ya?"

Kennedy raised an eyebrow at both of them, a smug smile firmly over her lips as they started walking deeper into the cemetery. Buffy saw the look Kennedy had given them, but she dismissed it and walked ahead of them. Faith took the opportunity to slug Kennedy hard in the shoulder, shaking her head as she picked up the pace to catch up with Buffy.

"When we split the patrol, she's going with you," Buffy said quietly as she looked around everywhere but at Faith as they walked slowly. "I don't think I could handle her attitude for very long."

"No problem," Faith said, offering a smile she knew Buffy wouldn't even see. "Is something bothering you tonight, B?"

"No. Why would you think that?"

"You haven't looked at me all night and you've barely said a word to me since we left the house. This isn't about this morning, is it?"

"Never bring that up again," Buffy said firmly as she stopped walking and looked right at her. "This morning was nothing short of awkward and I'd like to forget about it, okay?"

"B, I told ya. It's not a big fucking deal. Seriously, just chill out about it."

"You're just lucky I was feeling like total crap this morning or else I would've kicked your ass ten ways to Sunday. Just drop it, okay?"

Faith nodded and let Buffy walk ahead, trying not to feel like she'd just been punched in the gut. She reached inside her jacket, pulled out her pack of cigarettes, and quickly lit one, gritting her teeth as she inhaled sharply. Kennedy walked next to her, chuckling softly.

"Shut up."

"You two just need to..."

"What part of shut up don't you fucking understand, Ken?" Faith snapped, her voice just loud enough for Buffy to turn to look at them. "Just don't fucking start on that shit, okay?"

Faith took off, not caring that the plan was to stick together. She could take care of herself and Kennedy had proved she could too. She needed to be alone for a little while, the anger that had been bubbling inside of her reaching the boiling point. The last thing she wanted was to show all of them that side of herself. She wanted to prove to them and to herself that she'd changed, or at least was trying to change. She growled under her breath and kicked over a headstone, watching as the stone crumpled to the ground.

"Fuck," she sighed out as she felt the tears burning in her eyes.

She leaned against the nearest tree, wiping away her tears quickly when she saw Buffy and Kennedy heading her way. There was no way in hell she'd let anyone catch her getting so worked up she broke down into tears. Buffy had already seen her break down after Robin had died and she sure didn't want to have her see her cry ever again. The vulnerability she was feeling, even now, made her turn and punch the tree she'd been leaning against. She continuously punched it, the rough bark digging into her skin, ripping it apart, blood flowing freely, yet she felt nothing. Nothing but numbness her body had fallen into. Buffy pulled her away from the tree, grabbing her wrists and forcing her to stop.

"Faith, what the hell are you doing? Stop!"

Faith pushed her away roughly, the tears filling her eyes before she could force them down. Kennedy stood back, a look of shock and concern on her face as Buffy pulled Faith into her and wrapped her arms tightly around her, forcing her to stay right where she was. She kept struggling against Buffy, feeling weaker as the tears continued to fall.

"Stop pushing me away, Faith," Buffy whispered softly, holding on to her as they both fell to their knees. "Just let me be there for you right now, Faith. No matter what's going on in that head of yours, however you are feeling, just please stop pushing me away."

_Why_, was what she wanted to know. It felt too out of the element of their barely there friendship for Buffy to want to care as much as she did. She had to stop questioning it; it only made the tears fall harder and faster. Everything was piling up inside of her, bursting through the cracks in her walls as those walls slowly began to crumble around her.

"You aren't alone, Faith. You have all of us now. Whatever is dragging you down you have to stop it from doing this to you. Just talk to me, talk to Kennedy, hell," Buffy laughed softly as she pulled back a little and looked deep into Faith's eyes, "talk to any of us, Faith. Stop pushing us all away, okay? We're family now and whether or not you feel like it, you are a part of this family."

She felt naked under Buffy's gaze as she blinked away her tears. Breaking down during patrol after the last couple of days she'd had wasn't safe. Her vulnerability was making them all vulnerable. She wiped her tears on the sleeve of her jacket before looking down at her raw and bloody hands. There was a softness in Buffy's eyes now, whatever hardness she'd had still when it came to her gone completely now. The hope she'd felt before came back and it hit her so hard she nearly felt out of breath from the intensity of it all.

Things were looking up, slowly but surely. She'd have her downfalls, she'd have her moments where she'd fall apart, but just from the look in Buffy's eyes and the way she'd just held her to calm her down, it gave her more than just hope that everything would be okay. It would only if she let it be okay.


	6. Chapter 6

It was almost dawn by the time they got back to the house, Faith attempting to go right to her room but instead being pulled into the bathroom by Buffy. Her hands were a mess from punching the tree and a couple of demons they'd run into had split open her bottom lip. She was a mess on the inside as well as the outside and there weren't any band-aids that would just magically heal the wounds deep inside of her. Buffy sat her down on the edge of the tub while she got out the first-aid kit.

"B, I can take care of this myself."

"I know you can, but can you just let me do this?"

"Why?"

Buffy sighed as she grabbed a washcloth and wet it. "Because I want to," she said as she knelt down in front of Faith and began to gently wipe off the dried blood and the dirt from her hands. "I know you can't talk to me about a lot of things, Faith, and honestly I don't expect you to just open yourself up and tell me everything that's going on with you. I just want to understand what got you so worked up tonight."

"A lot of shit," she shrugged, holding back the whimpers as the pain shot through her hands. "It's all just getting to me lately, that's all. Can't expect it all to just go away overnight."

"Yeah, I know," Buffy sighed as she placed the washcloth on the edge of the tub and pulled out a roll of gauze. "Faith, I know there are a lot of things we've got to work through and that is going to take some time, but I just want you to know that things have changed. I've changed and I know you have too."

"Haven't changed all that much," she muttered under her breath as she watched Buffy slowly wrap the gauze over her hands. "I'm trying, but it's hard."

"I know," Buffy smiled a little as she sat back just a little and carefully examined her split lip from where she was without touching her. "Where'd you go off to the other night?"

"You still hung up on that?"

"I'm just curious, Faith."

"Well I already told ya where I went, B. Found a club, had a few drinks, and danced. You want the dirty details of what happened after I left the club or something?"

"Oh," Buffy said as the realization dawned on her of just what she'd done that night. "Forget I even asked. You know I don't want to know about those things."

"Quit bugging me about it, then," Faith chuckled softly and winced as she felt her lip split open a little more. "We done here? I'm fuckin' beat."

"We're done."

"B?" Faith said as Buffy stood up and put the first-aid kit back under the sink. "Thanks…you know, for earlier. For being there for me and shit."

Buffy just gave her a small smile as they walked out of the bathroom and went their separate ways. Faith tore the gauze from her hands as soon as she was in her room, knowing they'd heal just the same whether she had the cuts wrapped up or not. She'd only humoured Buffy, allowing her to clean up the mess of her hands. She groaned softly as she looked down at them, knowing it was just as bad as it looked. Fuming, she wrapped the gauze back over her hands, ripped off her clothes and climbed into bed.

Faith hated feeling this way, fired up, the adrenaline from patrol still rushing through her body, the feeling of vulnerability from breaking down, completely losing it in front of Buffy and Kennedy earlier, it was all too much. The one thing she just couldn't wrap her head around was the way Buffy had held her, the words she'd said to her that drove deep yet didn't quite stick.

Family. How could she believe that she was a part of what they, especially Buffy, considered to be a family? She'd never had a real family before. She'd only ever had her mother and the relatives she didn't care were alive or dead since she knew that for a fact they thought the same about her. Still, though, the way Buffy had just held her close—so tight, like she actually cared—until she cried the last of her tears had been so out of character for her that Faith still believed that maybe she was suffering from shock. She thought of the other things Buffy had said to her, but the words jumbled in her brain as exhaustion took over.

A few hours of sleep was all she seemed to need and it was all she seemed to be able to get. The sounds travelling through the house by the afternoon had woken her from a surprisingly dreamless sleep. She felt restless despite it all and laid in bed for almost an hour just listening to the others as they spoke downstairs. She wanted to get angry when she heard Buffy talking quietly to Giles about what had happened with her the night before, but she wasn't. She just felt the tears burning in her eyes yet again and she blinked them away, feeling them burn over her cheeks and hit the pillow. She got out of bed when she heard the quiet footsteps coming up the stairs and she'd not quite gotten dressed when she heard the soft knocks on her bedroom door.

"Yeah?" She called out as she slipped on her jeans and walked over to the door. "Hey," she said as she opened it to find Buffy standing there on the other side with two cups of coffee in her hands.

"I thought you might want..."

"Thanks."

"Can I come in and talk to you?"

"About what, B?" Faith asked as she walked over to the window and opened the blinds.

"About last night."

Faith motioned for her to sit on the bed and she stayed right where she was by the window, opening it a little and letting the warm late spring air drift inside. She could see a trickle of nervousness in just the way Buffy sat there on the edge of the unmade bed and ran her fingers over the rim of her mug, her eyes darting over the room. Buffy avoided looking into her eyes until finally, with a deep breath, she brought her eyes up to meet Faith's. Faith felt as if they were almost communicating silently, with words she didn't understand yet she did at the same time. It was one of those things she'd felt before, very rarely, around Buffy.

"What about last night, B?"

"I heard what Kennedy was saying to you. Is that what set you off?"

"Part of it."

"Why?"

"Don't know, B."

"No, I mean, why is she saying those things to you?"

"What things?" Faith asked, taking a tentative sip of her hot coffee and making a face when she tasted the sugar. "I think ya gave me the wrong mug, B."

"Sorry," she said softly as they exchanged mugs and Faith took a sip and smiled a little. "She was saying that we need to, you know...why would she say that?"

"Beats the hell outta me. Ken is just a fucking brat. Surprised ya haven't figured that out yet."

"Oh."

"Is that all?" Faith asked, sighing as she turned to look out the window. "Really not up to having some kind of heart-to-heart chat right now."

"It's all going to be on your terms and on your time, isn't it?" Buffy asked, her voice evenly cold.

"No, just fucking tired today, that's all."

"I thought we were doing okay, but after last night..."

"Buffy, we can't just snap our fingers and expect to be all best buds just like that. You know me...I've never been able to be friends with you or any of the others. Hell, I don't even know what it's like to have friends much less be one to someone else."

"You were doing okay," Buffy said quietly as she looked over at her. "I've been thinking a lot lately since we left Sunnydale. We've all been through a lot in the past couple of weeks, Faith."

"No shit. What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger," she said under her breath. "Or just makes us want to kill each other even more so."

"I don't want to kill you," Buffy shot out, the sparks of anger flickering through her eyes as Faith looked over at her, bemused by her reaction. "I never wanted to before, not even when I..."

"When you gutted me with my own knife?"

"I...have I told you I'm sorry about that?"

"You just did."

Buffy let out as soft sigh as they stared at one another for what felt like hours. Faith knew exactly what she was waiting for, for her to apologize for all her wrong doings too. Where would she even start? She highly doubted that Buffy would take a single 'I'm sorry' for everything she'd done. She shook her head as she took another sip of her coffee, unable to take her eyes off of Buffy. She had to say something and even with the doubts she had, she knew she had to at least try to say she was sorry.

"Look, B, about all that shit before..."

"You're sorry," Buffy nodded. "I know."

"You do?"

"Why else would you have come back to help us and why else would you have come here with us if you weren't sorry?"

"Not afraid I could still be all evil and shit, plotting the right moment to kill you all in your sleep?"

Buffy laughed at that, her eyes just sparkling as she stared long and hard at Faith. "I highly doubt you're capable of that now, Faith. And for the record, I don't think you are evil. I never thought you were. You just...you had a lot of stuff going on and it didn't help that none of us were there for you. Well, I tried to be, but with Angel..."

"I get it. I'm over it, Buffy. What's done is done now. Gotta move on now, or at least try."

"That's what we're trying to do now, isn't it? Moving on?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"You think I don't know you, right?" Buffy said softly as she stared down at her mug in her hands. "I might not actually _know_ you, but I understand you. At least I think I do. Like with before, years ago," she paused to take a sip of her coffee before looking up at her, "I was hurt with all the things you did, the way you just turned on all of us, but you know something? I got over it."

"Great. Good for you, B."

Sarcasm wasn't going to get her anywhere, but she didn't know how else to react. Buffy was on her own train of thought now and she knew she just had to let her talk and try not to fuck things up even more than she already had.

"You got this whole badass persona, but you know what I think? I think its horseshit. It's all just an act to keep everyone from getting too close to you."

"Angel said the same thing to me."

"When?"

"Before the drive out here when I talked to him on the phone."

Buffy nodded and watched as Faith opened the window wider and climbed halfway out. "What are you doing?"

"I'm having a smoke," Faith replied as she took her cigarettes out of her pants pocket and quickly lit one. "Too lazy to go downstairs. Besides, we're having a little heart-to-heart. Hate to break it up cos of this habit of mine."

"Why do you smoke anyway? You never used to before," Buffy asked softly as she walked over and stood near her. "You should think about quitting."

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"Bother you?" Faith asked, taking a long drag and inhaling deeply, smirking when Buffy shrugged and leaned against the window frame. "So, why do ya think it's horseshit, B?"

"Because I can feel it," she replied quickly. "I don't know how to describe it, but when you...I can just feel there's something else there, that's all. Like right now," she said as she poked Faith in the leg and laughed when Faith barely flinched, "I can feel this wall built up around you, yet you've let it down just a little."

"Have I?"

"A little bit, yeah."

"What else do you 'feel', Buffy?"

"Just you."

Buffy lowered her head, her hair falling around her face, hiding the blush the crept over her cheeks. Faith saw it, though, and it made her smile, just a little, for reasons she wasn't ready to listen to. Faith's eyes flickered over Buffy's body quickly, drinking her in without realizing she was doing it. She tore her eyes away before Buffy looked back up at her, taking another long drag and then sighing out softly.

"Why?" Faith asked, so quietly she could barely hear herself speak.

"Why what?"

"Why do ya care so much?"

"I don't know. I just do. Why do you have to question it? Why can't you just accept it, Faith?"

"Cos nobody ever gave a damn before."

"That's not true..."

"Isn't it?" Faith asked coldly, her hands shaking as she fought to keep from becoming vulnerable yet again. Twice she'd cried in Buffy's arms and she wasn't exactly looking to have it happen again. "Look, maybe everything we went through is just a lot of bullshit and misunderstanding. We're not gonna get anywhere trying to go through that shit how many years after the fact?"

"You're right. What's done is done. I'm sorry, you're sorry, moving on," Buffy said, a small smile forming as their eyes met. "It's going to be hard for us to trust each other, I know that, but I just want you to promise me you'll try."

"Only if you do, Twinkie."

"Shake on it?"

"Why don't you give us a kiss, B?" Faith winked as she watched the blush creep over Buffy's cheeks yet again. She reached for Buffy's hand and shook it, winking at her once more before letting go.

"Uh, you want more coffee?"

"Nah, I'm good."

"We're setting up the basement later," Buffy said as she backed up to the door. "Or now, actually. I figured since you live here too, you should get to have a bit of the say as to how it's all set up."

"I'll be down in a bit."

"Just..." Buffy trailed off as she stood in the doorway. "Just remember that if you need to talk you can come and talk to me or anyone else."

"Noted."

Faith turned to look back out the window, taking one last drag of her cigarette as she listened to Buffy's footsteps descend the stairs. It was a lot to take in, what they'd just talked about. It was also different, for lack of better words and understanding. Nothing in their conversation had been malevolent in any way or form, and it should have made her feel at ease, but it didn't. At least she and Buffy were on the same page when it came to the trust issues that were between them. It'd be hard to trust one another, not just because of all they'd been through, but also because they'd never had even a basic foundation of trust between them before.

She got back to thinking about Robin, about some of the things he'd said to her during the one and only night they'd been together. She wished now that she'd actually listened to him, instead of just pretending to while that ever-familiar high rushed through her body. She almost wished things could have been different. She wondered what it'd be like if he had lived instead of dying alone in the night in the small hospital in a small town she had long forgotten the name of. Would he have 'surprised' her, proven to her that not all men were the same? Would she have stayed with him longer than a couple weeks, given him a real chance? Would she have been able to fall in love with him?

She swallowed back the lump that formed in the back of her throat, knowing there was no point in thinking of those questions when there'd never be any answers. Ever. She knew she couldn't stay hung up on Robin, or grieve his death for too long. It was tearing her apart inside and she didn't like that feeling. She loathed it nearly as much as she did the darkness she could still feel inside of her, itching to come out and play. The only one, aside from Angel, who had seen past that mask she'd put on had been Robin. She was slowly starting to see that Buffy was looking at her that way now, as were the others. It made her nervous since she didn't know how to just be herself anymore. She didn't even know who she was, or who she'd become if she continued down this path she was on.

She didn't bother to go downstairs at all, she just closed the window, shut the blinds, and crawled into bed. This wasn't who she was either, but it was who she wanted to be for the time being. After saving the world, she deserved as much downtime as she needed. It was just too bad nobody else seemed to think that way. Despite not being completely exhausted, she managed to drift in and out of a light sleep for most of the day.

By that night her body was itching to get out there, itching to slay, to dance, to drink, to find someone to fuck, yet she knew the last three things would have to be scratched off the list. Responsibility had never been so hard. She'd never actually _cared_ what others thought about her and the things she did, but after the last day and night she did care. She cared too much and she hated it. This wasn't who she was, she didn't feel guilty or feel that it was wrong to want to go out and do what she was used to doing. She grabbed her jacket and headed downstairs, fuming and trying to put on a forced laid back smile when she nearly ran into Buffy and Kennedy on her way out the door.

"Where are you going?" Buffy asked as she quickly grabbed her jacket and followed Faith outside. "Faith?"

"Patrol."

"Could you wait up?" Kennedy nearly shouted, struggling to put her boots on as she walked out the door. Faith stopped at the end of the driveway with Buffy standing a little too close to her for comfort and waited for Kennedy to get a move on. "Sorry, jeez. What's the big rush?"

"Just itching to get out," Faith replied as the three of them headed for the same cemetery they'd first gone to the night before.

She saw the look that Kennedy and Buffy exchanged, but she ignored it as she walked ahead of them. She ignored the quiet conversation the two were having and got lost in her own thoughts, her own urges that kept her walking past the cemetery and towards the club she'd been to the first night they were in town. Buffy was the first to catch up to her, grabbing onto her arm and forcing her to stop.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"I need a drink."

"Faith, we need to patrol first."

"Whatever," she said as she grabbed Buffy's wrist and forced her hand away from her arm. "You two can cover for me for an hour, can't ya?"

"Faith, just stop!" Buffy said through clenched teeth. "What's the matter with you?"

"Nothing."

"We need to..."

"_We_ don't need to do anything. What _I_ need you to do is either join me for drinks, cover me on patrol, or just leave me the fuck alone, all right? Your choice."

"One drink wouldn't hurt, Buffy," Kennedy said softly, smiling over at Faith. "Come on. You can't stand there and tell us that we don't deserve to have a little bit of fun after all we've done lately, right? We saved the fucking world, didn't we? We deserve to have fun."

"She's right, B. Come on, pull that stick outta your ass and have a little fun!"

"I do not have a stick up my ass!"

"You do!" Kennedy laughed as she stood next to Faith, both of them watching the frustration, the anger, and then the amusement flicker over Buffy's face. "Prove us wrong then."

"And how am I supposed to do that?"

Faith chuckled as she reached for Buffy's hand and pulled her towards the line that led to the club. She dragged Buffy to the front of the line and smiled ever so sweetly at the bouncer, who obviously recognized her from the other night. He let the three of them in without question and without even having to pay the cover charge. Faith and Kennedy dragged Buffy through the packed club towards the bar, ignoring her half-hearted protests. They weren't exactly dressed to be there at the club, but they didn't seem to care as Faith led them around to a table near the bar and they sat down.

"What'll you have, B?"

"Faith, you brought me to a gay bar?" Buffy asked in a hushed whisper as she glanced furtively around the club, looking rather nervous at the amount of same sex couples dancing on the dance floor together.

"Nah," Faith replied, shaking her head as she motioned for the server near the bar to come over. "It's just gay friendly, B. Don't stress over it."

"We should all have a girls' night one night. Willow would love it here," Kennedy said with a smile as the server approached the table.

"Three shots of Jack and three beers, something light," Faith said to the server, a woman barely in her twenties that Faith had recognized from the other night as the other half of the couple she'd slept with. She didn't let that realization show in her eyes as she let the woman look her up and down before she wrote the order down on her little pad of paper and walked away.

"Did you see the way she looked at you?" Kennedy asked as she leaned over and the two watched her walk away. "She looked at you like she wanted to fuck you and punch you at the same time."

"Probably wanted seconds," Faith replied, winking at Kennedy who just grinned widely at her. "I don't do seconds."

"Seconds?" Buffy asked, having no idea what they were talking about. "Seconds for what?"

Faith laughed and shook her head as the woman walked back over to the table with their drinks on a tray. She smiled uneasily at Faith as she slid a napkin into Faith's hand before she walked away. She looked down and saw her number and a name, Julie, written down on it. Kennedy looked over and smirked as Faith crumpled the napkin up and tossed it to the floor.

"Did she just give you her number?" Buffy asked, raising an eyebrow as Faith nonchalantly shrugged her shoulders. "Why would she...oh. I get it now."

"Was she any good?" Kennedy asked as she lifted her shot glass, waiting for Buffy and Faith to lift theirs before they all took them back at the same time. "Or was she just bad despite how banging she looks?"

"Well, her boyfriend wasn't bad. I give her props for her enthusiasm in...y'know," Faith said as she clicked her tongue against her teeth.

"You had a threesome?" Buffy said quietly, her voice a little high as the shock settled in.

"Jealous?" Faith chuckled as she took a sip of her beer. "So, now that we've wandered into the topic of sex, tell me something, Buffy. Have you ever had a threesome?"

"No!"

"You ever wanted to?"

"Oh god, I am not talking about this!"

"That means yes," Faith said quietly to Kennedy as Buffy's face flushed a deep red. "What about you, Ken?"

"I have, but not with a man in the mix," she replied, smiling over at Buffy who flushed an even deeper red at that. "Oh, don't worry Buffy, it wasn't with Willow. This was long before I came to Sunnydale."

"Can we not talk about this?" Buffy muttered as she looked down at the beer bottle she clutched rather tightly with both hands. "This goes way beyond my comfort zone."

"Hey, you wanted to prove to us that you didn't have a stick up your ass," Faith said, trying hard to keep a straight face and finding it next to impossible as she let a small laugh escape.

They sat there and drank their beer, none of them saying a word after that. They left before the crowded club got even busier and headed straight for the cemetery. Buffy kept looking at Faith, her eyes searching for Faith's and never once able to hold her gaze for more than a second at a time. Faith knew that she wanted to talk about what had been talked about in the club and she knew that Buffy was having a hard time finding a way to talk about it. Faith could only chuckle to herself every so often. She stopped walking and sat down on the bench at the side of the gravel path.

"What'd you stop for?" Kennedy asked as she stood in front of her for a moment before she shrugged and sat down next to her. "I don't feel that buzz like the other night."

"Me neither."

"Does that mean it's going to be a slow night?"

"Dunno, Ken. Can't blow off patrol just cos it feels like it could be a slow night," Faith replied softly, seeing Buffy smile a little as she walked over and joined them on the bench. "Right, B?"

"Right," she nodded, smiling as she looked up at the stars in the sky. "Wait a minute, did you just..."

"What?" Faith smirked as she nudged Buffy's shoulder with her own. "Y'know, I can have a little fun _and_ be responsible in the same night."

"Yeah, I can see that."

"Let's move on to the next area," Faith said as she stood up from the bench. "I'm kind of thinking word has gotten out about this place and us. Gonna have to find a way to track down the word that floats around about the underground."

"And how do you propose we do that?" Buffy asked, standing up and moving to stand next to her.

"Find ourselves a snitch," Faith replied. "Got to be at least one around here. The trick is in trying to figure out where to find 'em."

Kennedy groaned as she got up and followed them out of the cemetery. Faith stopped for a moment, feeling out the energy coming from the Hellmouth and the energy coming from Buffy. She tried to focus on just one, the Hellmouth, and let it lead her to the next cemetery several blocks away. She fell behind, kind of listening in to Buffy and Kennedy's quiet conversation about planning a night out at least once a week just for fun. Faith's eyes were darting all over the dark cemetery, searching for what she knew was out there waiting for them, hoping to see them first before they were sought out and hunted down like animals.

This was the part of slaying she'd missed the most while she'd been in prison, the hunting part of it all. Sure, the vampires and the demons thought they were the hunter, but in Faith's mind, they were the prey. She tried to stay close to Buffy and Kennedy as she gripped onto her stake, ready to reach for the knife she had strapped to her shin just above her ankle and hidden under her jeans.

She stopped when she felt it. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Buffy stop too and she knew that she could feel it also. The evil, the darkness, just creeping along as if it belonged there. They moved to stand on either side of Kennedy, both of them prepared to protect her if she couldn't protect herself.

"What is it?" Kennedy asked faintly as she reached for her stake and held it tightly. "Faith? Buffy?"

"Shut up," Faith snapped as her eyes darted around the shadows, trying to find the ones that moved, the ones that didn't belong. "First rule of slaying..."

"Don't die?"

"Don't speak unless you want to attract whatever is out there to you quicker, before you even figure out what it is," Faith said softly, she and Buffy sharing a small, knowing smile when Kennedy only scoffed in reply. "Uh, B?"

Faith stood there as three large demons stepped out of the shadows. Buffy gulped as she leaned in to whisper to Kennedy to get out of there as quickly as she could. Faith reached for her knife and tossed it to Buffy without a second thought. Kennedy didn't listen, she just stood there stock still.

"What? Always come prepared, B."

"And what are you going to use?"

"I'll uh, compromise. Come up with something creative. I don't know. I'll figure something out. These guys are butt fuckin' ugly. The question is...can they actually fight?"

"We'll find out," Buffy replied, looking over at her for a moment. "Kennedy..."

The demons attacked and they each fought with all that they had. Faith snapped the neck of hers almost instantly, the demons proving that, despite how big they were, they weren't fighters. She got up and ran to help Kennedy, knowing she couldn't take it alone. She wasn't trained nearly enough and it was so clear in the way she tried to throw her punches. Faith groaned as she leapt on the demon's back and quickly snapped its neck. She leapt off before it fell to the ground, looking over at Buffy who had just snapped the neck of the demon she'd been fighting.

"Goddamn," Faith breathed out as Buffy handed the knife back to her. "Quick fight."

"Too quick."

"Are you two actually complaining that it was too easy?" Kennedy asked, rolling her eyes as she leaned against the tree next to her. "I can't believe it. Either it's too easy or it's too hard. I'd be happy that it was easy this time around."

Both of them shrugged as they started walking down the gravel pathway towards the entrance. Faith could still feel her heart racing, her breath catching in her chest when she tried to breathe normally. It was a quick slay, but it had rendered all three of them nearly breathless. They walked back to the house quickly, Kennedy going on and on about how lame it was that they had to go back and report to Giles right away. Rather than explain to her why, Faith told her to go off and find Willow, breathing out a sigh of relief when she took off up the stairs without another word.

They found Giles sitting in the living room looking over the evening paper as he lounged on the armchair. Faith sat in the other as Buffy explained to him about the demons they had come across. Faith was barely listening. She was fighting the urge to have a cigarette and trying to ignore the softest sighs and moans she could hear coming from upstairs. She shifted in the chair a little bit, trying to get comfortable as she tried not to let the sounds get to her.

After half an hour, she'd had enough. She apologized to Buffy and Giles as she walked out, promising them she'd get caught up on their theories about the demons they'd faced when she got back in the morning. She walked quickly to the club and slipped around the back alley, waiting for the back door to open before she slipped inside and went off in search of the server, Julie. She sat herself at the bar and looked around. She wished she hadn't tossed her number or else she could have just waited until later, given her a call from the payphone outside her and her boyfriend's apartment, and set up a second hook-up with the two of them.

She didn't do seconds, ever, but she didn't care this time around. She needed an easy lay and what was easier than one she'd landed once before? She flashed Julie her sexiest smile as she walked past with a tray of empty glasses. They exchanged a look and it was all it took, no words needed. Words in situations such as this were nearly useless as so much more was said with just a single look. She went to the staff bathrooms and waited for nearly five minutes before Julie came back.

"Just you and me this time?" Faith asked softly as Julie pulled her into the small supply closet.

"Yes, it's just you and me this time," she breathed out as she kicked the door shut and jumped into Faith's arms, crushing her lips against Faith's before another word was spoken.

Faith lost herself then, as she always did. Her mind just drifted off and she caught back up with it once she was out of the club and lighting up a cigarette while she fixed her belt buckle. She slipped the napkin with the phone number into her pocket this time, figuring she'd give Julie another go if she couldn't find anyone else that would scratch her itch quite as well as she did. She shrugged off the sudden wave of guilt that washed over her as she walked through the alley towards the street. She had no reason to feel guilty. This was what she did, this was who she was, and this was who she'd always be.

She pushed out the thoughts of the talk she'd had with Buffy on the short yet seemingly never-ending walk back to the house. However, she couldn't get rid of those thoughts as easily as she would have been able to before. Something had changed since the night before, maybe even before that, and she couldn't quite put her finger on just what, or why. She stood at the end of the driveway and stared up at the house for the longest time, feeling out of place and feeling that sense of home all at the same time. She hated feeling this way. She hated bouncing back and forth, never finding the right path to go along and always finding her way back to where she'd been before. The one other thing she hated was the fact that no matter how much she wanted to change who she was, there'd always be one part of her that would stay the same.

There were just some parts of her she'd never be able to change and what she'd just done with that server at the club was one of those things. She couldn't just stop being who she was even though she knew she could begin to change pieces of her life wherever it mattered to her the most. She ran a shaky hand through her hair as she walked up to the front door and let herself in. With a sigh of relief that nobody was awake, she closed and locked the door behind her before heading upstairs to take a quick shower before she went to sleep. And she tried so hard not to let the guilt get to her, but it was impossible when Buffy opened her bedroom door and just looked at her. The disappointment in her eyes said more than words could say.

And just like that the door was closed and she knew that once again they were back to square one.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Notes:** I know it may seem like progress is going a little slow, but that is fully intended and you'll all see why as the story unfolds :) Hope whoever is reading this here is enjoying it, I would love to know what you think of the story so far...

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By morning, Faith had pushed aside the events from the night before, acting as if nothing had changed, as if nothing had happened. It was what she was used to doing and it was one of the masks she always put on. She expected to be the first one awake, yet wasn't surprised to walk into the kitchen to find Buffy already there and trying to figure out how the coffeemaker worked. Faith was about to point out that it wasn't plugged in when Buffy rolled her eyes and reached for the plug herself. There was tension between them, familiar tension along with something else, something new.

Faith tried not to let Buffy's apparent bad mood get to her as she grabbed the orange juice out of the fridge and quickly poured herself a glass, offering some to Buffy who just shook her head no and flipped through the paper she had laid out on the counter. Faith knew she was avoiding looking at her, but she wasn't sure why. She knew it had to do with whatever happened last night and with that look she'd seen Buffy give her, the look that brought them right back to square one. Before she could even say a word, Giles walked into the kitchen and mumbled his good morning under his breath as he filled up the kettle and placed it on the stove.

She listened as Giles and Buffy quietly discussed a plan for regular training. She couldn't stop herself from staring over at Buffy, her eyes drinking in every inch of her without being too obvious she was checking her out. She was allowing her libido to take over and finding it nearly impossible to control it any longer. She closed her eyes and brought her hands up to rub her throbbing temples, trying to pay attention to what Giles was saying instead of listening to the rapid beats of her heart thumping in her head. She grabbed a clean mug and poured herself a cup of coffee, still trying to listen as the two of them discussed training and patrol schedules.

It wasn't long before everyone was awake and in the kitchen. Faith just poured herself another cup of coffee and headed out back to sit at the picnic table with hopes that maybe she'd be able to sit out there alone in peace and quiet for a little while. She realized her wishes had gone unheard by the Powers that Be when she heard the unmistakeable sounds of Kennedy and Willow's laughter as they walked out of the house and headed towards her with the others following close behind carrying coffee and plates of food.

Faith just grabbed her mug and moved to go sit around the other side of the tree on the ground, laughing to herself as Kennedy walked around and sat down next to her. "You really don't know when someone wants to be left alone, do you?"

"Oh, you want...I'll just..."

"What did you want, Ken?"

"I kind of wanted to talk about last night, but if now isn't a good time, seeing how you are in a bitchy mood and all, I'll just..."

Faith stopped her from getting up and let out a soft sigh. "What about last night?"

"Where'd you go?" Kennedy asked quietly, then raised an eyebrow at Faith when she only shrugged. "You went back to the club, didn't you?"

"Yeah. Hearing you and Red go at it kinda just...drove me a little nuts."

"You were...oh...great," Kennedy laughed as she leaned against the tree next to her. "Just don't let her know you heard us. She'll get all wiggy over it all."

"Yeah, definitely not gonna say a word. Kind of afraid of what she'd do to me," Faith chuckled as she glanced over at Willow sitting around the table with the others. "She might not look scary, but I heard stories of what it was like when she got into the dark magic for awhile."

"I heard the stories too," Kennedy said quietly as Faith turned to look back at her. "Have you heard about the training schedule Giles wants us on?"

"Yeah, heard bits of it earlier."

"Isn't it a little...too much?"

"Nah, you'll get used to it. Trust me, you'll be very fucking thankful for the long hours of training you'll put yourself through on those nights when the baddies are coming at ya left and right with no end in sight."

Faith barely recognized herself for saying that, but she felt Buffy's eyes on her just then. She didn't even need to turn and look to confirm it. She just knew. She shrugged as she looked over at Kennedy and took a sip of her coffee. She might not be able to change everything about herself, but she knew where her responsibilities lay within the group. She was a Slayer and she knew where she belonged in the world as a Slayer, but as a woman, as Faith Lehane, she didn't know where she belonged at all. It had always been that way and she knew it was stupid to think that things could change that easily.

She pulled her cigarettes from her front pocket and offered Kennedy one. She shook her head, refusing, and Faith shrugged and lit her cigarette, inhaling deeply as she leaned her head back against the tree. The morning sun was warm, warmer than it'd been since they had left California, and she knew everyone was enjoying the warmth and the soft, barely there breeze. She felt it again, just sitting out there with everyone else, that sense of home, of acceptance, of belonging, but it only lasted for a few short seconds before she slammed up those walls of hers, fearing the same thing as always would happen yet again. She closed her eyes, trying to find her center somewhere among all the chaos of voices inside her head and when she opened her eyes she felt a sense of calm wash over her, fill her, and ease her tired mind of the thoughts that just wouldn't go away.

She got to thinking about the things Buffy had said to her the other night, about them being a family now. She was starting to see it and feel it just being out there with everyone and she found it easier than she'd thought to let the sound of laughter wrap itself around her and make her smile. However, it was Buffy's smile, when they finally did look at one another, that made her heart skip a beat or two, that smile that made the rest of the world just fall away until all she saw was her.

"You're falling for her, aren't you?" Kennedy whispered softly as she leaned in closer to her. "Don't even try to tell me you aren't. Anyone with eyes can see it."

"What the fuck ever, Ken," she sighed as she took yet another long drag of her cigarette, her eyes not once leaving Buffy as she watched her animatedly talk to Willow and Dawn. "So what if I am?"

"Wait, correction," Kennedy chuckled softly. "You're falling for her _again_, aren't you?"

"Already fell pretty fuckin' hard," Faith replied, figuring it was better just to admit it than try to deny it as she always had in the past. Denying it had gotten her into trouble; it had pushed her into the darkness. "It ain't like it matters how I feel about her. She's never gonna feel the same way and besides, she's too good to ever be with someone like me. And, in case ya haven't noticed," she said softly as she tore her eyes off of Buffy to look at Kennedy, "she's straight. Very straight."

"You sure about that?" Kennedy asked softly, raising an eyebrow in disbelief when Faith only nodded her head. "I think you need to take another look, Faith."

"Believe me. I've looked and I've looked again and I always seem the same thing."

"Look just a little bit differently."

"Whatever, Kennedy. I don't want to talk about this. I don't even know _why_ we're talking about this in the first place."

Kennedy gave her a wink and a smile as she stood up and joined the others around the table. Faith watched as Kennedy whispered something to Willow that made her eyes open wide in shock as she looked over at Faith. Rather than feeling the need to kill Kennedy for probably telling Willow that she was falling for Buffy, that she had already fallen for her, she just let it slide. She couldn't care less if anyone knew, since it was obvious to anyone with eyes, as Kennedy had so blatantly pointed out to her. Obvious to everyone but Buffy, it seemed.

Now things started to make a little more sense to her, at least when it came to their rocky history and the rough start they'd had trying to establish a friendship. There was a mutual attraction, at least on some level, and that alone was creating a bit of a rift they had to both get past. It was what sent her mind into overdrive, made her want to push those thoughts out and run as far and fast as she could away from them. It was what made her just want to fall back into old habits since they were easier to deal with than what she was going through when it came to her feelings for Buffy. She wanted to push all those feelings aside, knowing if she didn't, everything would become awkward and once the awkwardness had passed, the darkness would find a way to come back and take over her life yet again.

"_We all make mistakes and we all push others away, but that's what makes us human. All too human."_

Robin's words were still haunting her, that one line in particular. He'd been right and not just when he'd said that, but he'd been right about everything. It made her almost want to let the tears she felt building up fall, but she held them back as she crushed out her cigarette in the dirt next to her and closed her eyes. She'd never felt so much before, never thought so much, either. If she was there alone she'd blame the energy coming from the Hellmouth for her strange behaviour, but she wasn't alone and she knew that a lot of it had to do with the people she was surrounded by now. People that she'd never been accepted by before and were now welcoming her into the fold with their arms wide open. She knew even if Robin was there, even if the two of them went off on their own, it'd still be the same.

Faith opened her eyes slowly, tilting her head just enough to look back at the others sitting around the table. She wanted to join them, join in on the laughter that flowed through each and every one of them. She wanted to actually _feel_ like she was a part of the family they'd created. It wouldn't happen instantly, she knew that, and she knew that despite what Buffy had said to her, the others probably didn't quite feel the same way yet. She didn't even know why she cared so much about being a part of their family in the first place. Maybe it was because she'd never been before and it was that one thing she wanted whether she would ever admit it or not.

She finished off her coffee, slightly cold now with her having forgotten about it. She headed back inside quickly, just wanting to get another cup of coffee and slip out to the front to possibly have a few minutes alone. Buffy was right there before she even had a chance to pour herself a fresh cup, placing her mug on the counter as she smiled sweetly.

"Thanks," Buffy said softly as Faith poured her some coffee. "You've been awfully quiet this morning."

"Yeah," she shrugged as she picked up her mug and leaned against the counter.

"How come?"

"Just am. Why does it fucking matter?"

"I was just trying to make conversation, Faith. Forget that I even bothered."

"Sorry. I'm just in a weird mood today. Didn't mean to...take it out on you. We're okay, aren't we?"

"Since when weren't we?"

"Dunno," she shrugged. "Kind of saw the way you looked at me last night. Not sure what it all meant either."

"I know where you went off to," Buffy said softly, unable to meet her eyes. "Don't you think it's time to change, Faith? That 'get some, get gone' routine is getting old and honestly," she sighed as she turned to look at her, "honestly it makes you look like the big slut you always were."

"Is that supposed to hurt me, B? Cos I must say, ouch. Got me right where it hurts the most," she chuckled dryly as she clutched at her chest. "Does it make ya feel any better to know I haven't changed? Makes ya realize that you've probably been right all along about me, doesn't it?"

"I never...do we really have to do this, Faith?" Buffy asked tiredly as she turned to look at her, finally allowing herself to stare deeply into Faith's eyes as they stood just a few feet apart. "That 'look' you saw last night was just disappointment because I thought maybe you'd changed, that maybe you'd figure out you don't need to be like that anymore. It was stupid to think that maybe you'd try to change that about yourself."

"It's one of those things I just can't change about myself," she shrugged. "Does my sex life bother you or something, B?"

"No...I..."

"I'll try to be a little more discreet about it then, how about that? Does that work for ya? Kind of like that whole 'don't ask, don't tell' deal."

"Why are we even...you know what, don't answer that," Buffy said as she shook her head, making no effort to move from where she leaned against the counter next to her. "I want to get past all these things with you, Faith. I feel like some stuff is really holding us back. It doesn't have to be that way."

"So, what way is it supposed to be then, B?"

"I don't know. Definitely not like this."

"How are we gonna change it then?" Faith asked softly as she slid a little closer to Buffy without realizing what she was doing. "We can't keep doing this."

"Doing what exactly?"

"Picking each other apart, waiting for that moment to find something just to..." Faith trailed off as she sighed softly. "Remember what you said about family, B?"

"What does that have to do with this?"

"Dunno, but my point is, I'm trying to feel like I'm a part of this family and for some fucked up reason I can't. I don't know if it's cos I'm not ready to feel like I'm a part of what you guys all have, or what. I think I still feel like I'm not good enough for you."

The last part was whispered so softly she'd barely even heard her own words. It was laced with a double meaning and she knew that Buffy picked up on it. She could feel it coming from her as their eyes slowly met. Faith fought that urge to step forward and lean down to capture Buffy's lips with her own, to kiss her and to use her lips to say the words she couldn't say through a kiss. She couldn't do it, though. It'd destroy whatever little bit of a friendship they'd managed to piece together. It was fragile and something as big as a kiss would shatter any hopes of having a real, strong friendship with one another.

She looked at her differently, as Kennedy had said before to do, and she saw it, just a little. She saw something there, but it quickly disappeared as the others came back inside. She'd let her thoughts consume her and she tried to shake the vulnerability off as Giles explained to her that she'd be spending the rest of the morning and most of the afternoon down in the basement helping Buffy train Kennedy. Buffy could barely even look at her as the two of them headed down to the basement with Kennedy trailing behind them, mumbling under her breath how much she thought it sucked to have to be stuck training inside all day when it was such a beautiful day outside.

Faith set up the mats along the floor, unable to stop herself from looking over at Buffy as she and Kennedy stretched out along the mats that were already laid out. She groaned softly as she began her own stretches, knowing it was going to be a long couple of torturous hours down there in the basement. Between her attraction to Buffy—that only ever seemed to grow worse when they were training or out on patrol—and the fact that Kennedy was picking up on it, she was in for a very interesting day.

****

The three of them were laid out on the mats, panting heavily from the latest round of three-way sparring they'd done. Kennedy had been a quick learner, picking up on both Buffy and Faith's moves after watching them have a quick round together. Giles had come down to monitor their training an hour before and left when he knew that Buffy and Faith had it all under control.

"Is it going to be like this every day, is it?" Kennedy asked as she pulled herself up from the mats and tried to stretch out standing up. "Because I have to say, _damn_."

"No, this is just..." Buffy sighed as she leaned up on her elbows and looked over at Faith. "A couple days here without any training and we're already out of shape."

"Yeah," Faith chuckled as she made no effort to move. "Don't worry, Ken. It'll get easier."

"Whatever," she laughed with her as she headed for the stairs. "We're done, right?"

"Yeah, we're done," Faith nodded as she turned to look at Buffy next to her. "We _are_ done, right?"

Buffy nodded as she laid back on the mats and closed her eyes. Faith waited until Kennedy had gone up the stairs and closed the basement door before she sat up slowly and looked down at Buffy, wiggling her eyebrows as she leapt to her feet and pulled Buffy up before she could even blink.

"Feel like another round, B?"

"Now?"

"Why not? Still feeling all sorts of worked up," Faith said with a smirk as she stepped back and stood in her fighting stance, ready for more. "Come on, y'know ya want to. I can just taste that you haven't had enough yet, B."

"I don't know," Buffy said as she smiled a little as she moved to her fight stance as the two began to slowly circle one another. "You think you can take me?"

"I can always take you," she chuckled as she picked up the pace, trying to find a way to throw the first move without Buffy seeing it coming first. "The question is, B, can you take _me_?"

"I know I can. The real question is," Buffy mocked as she swept her leg around, catching Faith off guard and sending her flat on her back down on the mats, "_now_ do you think that you can take me?"

"It's gonna be like that, is it?" Faith laughed as she stood up slowly, licking her lips as she waited in anticipation for more. They both stopped circling one another as the basement door opened and Giles called them upstairs. "Gonna have to continue this another time, huh?"

"Yeah," Buffy nodded, her voice tinged with a mix of both disappointment and relief. "I think he's probably afraid if we're down here alone we'll end up trying to kill each other."

"Maybe."

Faith stayed back and watched Buffy walk up the stairs, sighing heavily as she tried to stop the flood of lascivious thoughts that were now running rampant through her mind. It was hard with the adrenaline running through her body from the workout she'd just had, but she took a few deep breaths, burying the thoughts she had of fucking Buffy on the floor, up against the wall, taking her in ways she'd never been taken before, and headed upstairs. She knew she really had to stop those thoughts from coming to her. They were becoming more vivid and harder to control each and every time she allowed them to take over. It was what had ruined everything for her before and even though she'd once thought she could manage to hide the way she felt and the things she thought, she knew it was transparent now. If Kennedy could see it, Buffy surely could.

Giles was waiting for them in the living room and from the dozens of books scattered over the coffee table Faith knew there was something going on. He wasted no time in starting the meeting, explaining how they'd need to find out the exact location of the Hellmouth before it got too late. With the Council having been destroyed along with almost all the records they kept, Giles didn't know where the Hellmouth was located. Faith could see how nervous that made him despite the way he tried to keep his confidence that, between all of them, they'd find it sooner rather than later.

Andrew had his share of theories and he ran them off, one by one. Faith just sat in the chair she favoured most and listened with as much enthusiasm as she could. Her eyes wandered over the room, falling upon Buffy as she sat on the couch next to Willow and Xander. By the time the short meeting was over, Faith was already running up the stairs to have a quick shower. Buffy wasn't too far behind her and they both made a mad dash for the second bathroom while Kennedy ran for the other.

"Come on!" Buffy growled as she tried to pull Faith away from the door. "I was so here first!"

"In your dreams, Twinkie. I'll save some hot water for you," Faith laughed as she slipped into the bathroom and quickly shut and locked the door behind her. She heard Buffy kick the door and it only caused her to laugh again as she turned on the water, watching as the steam began to fill the small bathroom. "Keep it up and I'll make sure there's no hot water left!"

"You are so infuriating!" Buffy groaned as she kicked the door once more before she walked away.

Faith just shook her head, relaxing at the way things had changed between them over the course of the afternoon. She stripped out of her clothes and stepped under the hot spray of water, unable to wipe the smile off of her face. The small yet playful banter was slowly coming back between them. It'd been the odd jab there and a joke here while they'd been training and sparring with Kennedy. It felt too easy, too natural just to be that way around one another. Whatever had changed over the last week had changed again throughout the course of the day. She wasn't going to question it, instead she was only going to embrace it and allow things to continue changing between them.

She finished up in the shower quickly and headed straight for her room, knocking on Buffy's door as she passed to let her know the shower was free. Half an hour later everyone was down in the living room once again and going over the plans for patrol that night. They were all going out in search of the Hellmouth. Faith stood next to the couch, peering down at the map as the others discussed a route and ways to cover the city while searching for the Hellmouth.

"Guys," Faith said softly as she stared down at the map and the areas that had been highlighted in red. "Guys, seriously, look."

"What?" Xander said as he moved to stand next to her and peered down at the map. "No way."

"Yes way," she chuckled as she touched her finger to the center point between the four red areas. "Should be around here. Makes sense, right? I say we go right for that area, check it out before we go anywhere else. Something tells me we'll find it around there."

Giles peered over at the map and smiled up at Faith as he pulled out an old Watcher's diary from the stack of books he had near his chair. "You may be close, Faith. I'm not sure why we didn't see this before. It is rather obvious that the amount of activity would surround the Hellmouth itself."

"This is what I was saying before," Andrew said as he shook his head at all of them. "Nobody ever listens to me!"

"What's the plan then?" Faith asked, ignoring Andrew as she looked over at Buffy. "B? The plan?"

"You and I are going to check that area out. The others," she said as she looked around at everyone else, "are going to stay behind."

"What? Why?" Kennedy asked almost angrily as she stood up from the couch, the force of her rising nearly pulling Willow up with her. "We're supposed to be a team, Buffy."

"I know, but Faith and I can handle this ourselves."

"Whatever," Kennedy muttered as she sat back down and quietly apologized to a frazzled Willow.

"You two report back as soon as you can if you locate the Hellmouth," Giles said softly to both Buffy and Faith. "We'll cover the rest of the patrol areas ourselves. I know you two have heard it before, but please do be careful."

"Always am," Buffy smiled as she motioned for Faith to follow her. They opened up the front hallway closet and Faith just raised an eyebrow as Buffy slid open the panel at the back to reveal a rather wide selection of weapons. "What? While you've spent your days sleeping, we've been busy."

"So I can see," she laughed as she reached in and pulled out one of the crossbows. "Where'd ya get all this?"

"Sporting goods store. Now, pick something a little less bulky. It's not the same as Sunnydale and I highly doubt we'll be able to walk down the streets with weapons and not get stopped by the cops."

"What happened to the scythe?"

"Willow has it hidden in the basement," Buffy replied as she pulled out a couple of stakes and handed Faith one. "Giles is worried that we'll be targeted because of it. It may be even more powerful than we know and it's best kept hidden away for now."

"Too bad. It's a kick ass weapon. You can seriously demolish anything that stands in your way."

"We'll save it for the next apocalypse," Buffy said with a small smile as she closed the panel and stepped out of the closet. "You ready to head out?"

Faith nodded and said nothing more as she grabbed her jacket and opened the front door, smiling at Buffy as she walked out first. They barely said a word, barely looked at each other for the first couple of blocks they walked. The sun was still up, but it was close to setting and Faith could feel the energy from the Hellmouth buzzing more intensely the closer they got. They walked through a neighbourhood that was mostly full of abandoned houses and stores that were boarded up. It was eerily quiet and the only sounds were their footsteps as they walked down the sidewalk side by side.

She was getting a bad feeling about the neighbourhood the further they walked down the street. She looked over at Buffy, knowing she was getting the same feeling, and they came to a stop just outside an old boarded up store. The buzz of energy was more intense and Faith motioned for Buffy to follow her as she headed around to the back of the store and kicked in the door. There was dust everywhere.

"Nobody's been around here for a while," Faith said quietly as she looked back at Buffy.

"How do you know that?"

"The dust," she said as she pointed to the floor. "It's all even. Not a single footprint."

"And you are just going to walk in there without...Faith!" Buffy groaned as she followed Faith inside, grabbing onto her before she could open the door that lead down to the basement. "Stop and think about this for a minute."

"Empty store, empty neighbourhood," she said slowly and pointed down the stairs. "Hellmouth is down there, B. Can't you feel it?"

"I definitely feel something," Buffy said softly as she let go of Faith's arm. "Shouldn't we go back and tell Giles?"

"We should make sure we're right about it being here first, don't ya think?"

Buffy rolled her eyes but followed Faith down the steep stairs. Buffy was clutching onto Faith's arm by the fifth step, which was where the stairs gave way and sent them suddenly tumbling down the rest of the way into the dark basement. Faith groaned as she landed with Buffy on top of her, the wind slightly knocked out of her from the impact of the fall. She allowed herself a minute to let her eyes adjust to the darkness before she looked at Buffy. There was slight awkwardness as Buffy got up from on top of her and looked around the basement. Faith just stood back and watched as Buffy wandered around the dark basement until she found the only light and pulled on the flimsy cord. The single bare bulb barely lit up the empty, drab basement, but the evident hole dug in the ground was the one thing that stood out the most.

"I guess we found the Hellmouth," Buffy said softly as she moved to stand next to Faith.

"Yeah, guess we did."

"You okay?" Buffy asked as she looked at her, reaching for the arm Faith was clutching close to her.

"Just uh...the fall kind of shook me up," she replied, shaking it off as if it was no big deal despite the now very evident pain shooting through her left arm. "We're kind of screwed getting back up, though."

"Yeah," Buffy sighed out as she looked over at the broken stairs. "Great."

They both made their way around the basement and from what they both could tell, aside from the cement dug out around the seal, nothing else had been disturbed in a good long while. Faith went back to stand by the stairs, clutching at her sore arm and cursing under her breath, thankful she hadn't popped her shoulder on the fall down the stairs. She cracked her neck as she leaned against the wall and watched as Buffy knelt down next to the hole in the floor to inspect the seal. She let out a soft sigh as she walked back over to Faith and looked up to where the stairs had once been.

"We should probably get out of here," Buffy said softly as she looked at Faith and over at the gap in the stairs. "You want to give me a hand?"

Faith hoisted Buffy up before she could even say another word and once she was at the top of the stairs she reached down to pull Faith up with her. They tried to cover their tracks and any evidence that they'd been in there. There was no telling what was around there just waiting for them to leave. The Hellmouth was definitely out in the open, not particularly in your face open, but it was there. They knew that if they had come across it, anything else out there could as well, especially now that they'd disturbed the building the Hellmouth resided under.

They walked back to the house in silence, neither of them saying a word or looking at one another. Faith just rubbed her sore arm, trying not to make such a big deal out of how much it was bothering her. She also kept looking back behind them, feeling as if something was there following them, yet every time she looked back she saw nothing. Buffy continuously looked back as well and sighed out in annoyance about a block away from the house as she stopped, grasping Faith's arm and bringing her to a halt too.

"What gives, B?"

"You feel it too, don't you?"

"Feel what? Like something is following us?"

"Yeah...I think so."

"Well, there's nothing there," Faith shrugged as she looked back, still rubbing her arm lightly. "And watch the arm, B. Kind of fuckin' sore from when you landed on it before."

"Sorry."

"So, what's the deal you think?"

"About what?"

"The Hellmouth just being out there the way it is and yet..."

"I have no idea."

Faith let out a soft sigh. She knew now wasn't the time for small talk—or any kind of talk for that matter—with Buffy. She could feel how anxious she was just to tell the others about the location of the Hellmouth. Faith was feeling uneasy about it. There was just something too easy about it all that didn't sit right with her. It didn't help that it had been a long day and she was, as usual, going on very little sleep. She was sure that it didn't help with that uneasiness she was feeling. They tracked Giles down about half a block from the house and, after rounding up the others, they headed for the abandoned store to show him the exact location of the Hellmouth. Faith stayed out back while the others went inside, rubbing her sore arm slowly while keeping an eye out on the shadows around her.

She spent about a half an hour listening to the others talking inside while Giles and Willow figured out if there was a mystical barrier already in place surrounding not just the Hellmouth itself, but the entire neighbourhood. To her it made complete sense that there was some sort of mystical barrier and it seemed like everyone but Giles seemed to agree with that theory. After a heated argument exploded between everyone inside, Buffy, followed by Xander, stormed out and stood next to Faith, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Sometimes they are just too goddamn stubborn for their own good," she muttered under her breath as she looked over at Faith. "You feel like heading to the cemetery for a quick patrol?"

"Nah, I'm good right now, B. Besides," she said softly as she motioned to the door behind them, "we should stick around just in case shit goes down. Feeling like something is completely off about this whole thing. I know that you feel it too."

"Feel what?" Xander asked as he looked over at both of them. "You mean besides the fact that it is completely creepy around here?"

"Tell me you feel it too, B. You did before," Faith said softly, wanting some kind of confirmation that she wasn't completely losing the last bits of her sanity.

"Something doesn't feel right," Buffy replied as she moved to stand a little closer to Faith, shivering as the breeze picked up. "It feels like something following us, maybe. There's _definitely_ something at least watching us."

"Hold up," Xander said as he stepped closer to them, shivering as they looked up at him. "You telling me that something is out there following you and watching you? What, like ghosts or something?"

"Or something else we can't see," Buffy said as she reached out and lightly ran her fingers over Faith's arm. "How's your arm feeling?"

"Little better."

"What happened to your arm?" Xander asked, looking down at her as he scratched his forehead just above his eye patch. He took a step back when Faith didn't answer him and he shook his head as he leaned against the building. "All right, I get it. You don't want to talk. I'll just stand right here and let you Slayer types deal with whatever you gotta deal with."

Faith could only laugh as she went to stand next to him. "Buffy kind of landed on me earlier if ya gotta know all the details."

"She landed on you?"

"Stairs fell in, she fell with me. On top of me, whatever. And wherever your mind just went, Xand," she chuckled as she slapped him playfully across his shoulder, "you are completely on your own there."

"Wait, what?" Buffy asked, standing in front of both of them, a look of pure confusion flickering across her face. "You've completely lost me."

"That's okay, Buff," Xander smirked as he looked down at Faith, giving her a quick wink before he put his arm around Buffy. "I'll clue you in on the walk back to the house. It'll probably bore you, maybe make you laugh, but whatever you do, you gotta promise me one thing."

"What's that?"

He leaned in to whisper something into her ear and Faith could only stand there leaning against the wall and watch as Buffy's eyes showed pure amusement, then a flash of anger as she pushed Xander away. Faith hadn't heard what he said to her, but she had an idea. If she didn't find it funny in her tired state of mind, she would have challenged Buffy over the right to kick his ass.

That one little moment, a light-hearted moment between friends, was all they really needed when it came down to the reality of their lives each and every day. The laughter that erupted between the two of them only made Faith smile and laugh right along with them. For now she'd lose herself to the silliness of the moment and laugh for whatever reason if not for any reason at all. After all, there was no telling what would happen or how long it'd be before they'd next spend a few moments like this.


	8. Chapter 8

For hours that night after discovering the Hellmouth, Faith tossed and turned in her bed, unable to sleep, unable to shake the feeling that she was being followed, that something out there was watching her. It was nearly four in the morning when she gave up on sleep and headed downstairs to make a pot of coffee. She wasn't surprised to find Buffy already sitting down at the kitchen table. She said nothing to her, only nodding in her general direction as she walked over to the coffeemaker and poured herself a cup from the half a pot that was left.

"Can't sleep either, can you?" Buffy asked softly as Faith leaned against the counter and took a sip of her coffee. "I can't...this is crazy, but I can't get rid of that feeling that..."

"Something is there?" Faith said as she waited for Buffy to answer. "It's fucked up how finding the Hellmouth has wigged us both."

"I'm not wigged, I'm just..."

"Scared?"

"No!" Buffy sighed as she got up from the table. "Something doesn't feel right, Faith. You and I both can feel it. Giles and Willow can too, and the others...I don't know if they know that they're feeling it, but I know they are."

"You are definitely wigged, B."

"It's not just this whole thing that's bothering me," Buffy said as she poured herself a fresh cup of coffee and kept her back to Faith. "It's what Xander said to me earlier."

"What did he say?"

Faith didn't have to see Buffy's face to know she was blushing furiously. Instead of doing what she'd normally do and force it out of Buffy, she just waited for the moment to pass. Whatever Xander had said to Buffy had definitely been bothering her and despite the fact that she now was desperate to know what he'd said to her to cause such a reaction, she knew she'd find out sooner or later. She had a momentary flash of nervousness when she thought that maybe Kennedy had talked to Xander and told him about her feelings for Buffy. She quickly composed herself as Buffy turned to look at her, her cheeks just barely flushed as she looked at her.

"What?"

"Aren't you gonna tell me what he said to you, B?" Faith asked, smirking when Buffy shook her head no. "That bad, huh?"

"Not bad just...unexpected," she shrugged as she looked away from Faith quickly. "I...I don't want to talk about it, okay?"

"Sure, whatever."

"I know I brought it up, but..."

"Whatever, B. It's not a fucking big deal that you don't or can't talk to me. Whatever it is it doesn't matter."

"You are right, though. This whole thing has gotten me wigged, the Hellmouth thing, not the thing with Xander," Buffy said quickly. "I don't know about you, but I'm used to restless nights and tonight just feels different than what I've gotten used to."

Faith knew all too well what she was getting at. She'd felt it since they found the Hellmouth and it'd only gotten worse by the time they'd gotten back to the house. She'd always felt restless and it wasn't just a Slayer thing. She never knew what it was like to just relax, to sleep without a care or single worry in the world. She was always on guard, ready for whatever would pop out from the shadows. She wanted to talk to Buffy about everything; she wanted to hear Buffy tell her she felt those same things, thought the same things as she did during those restless nights. They weren't there yet, at least not on that deep level of sharing. They were working on it, though, and Faith could admit that much without admitting she would literally lie down over a pit of fire just for Buffy.

It was thoughts like those that were going to end up with her in trouble and with feelings she thought she'd buried and stored away years ago. She couldn't help but stare into Buffy's eyes and search for some of the answers to the questions she feared to ask. The heat between them for just a split second was intense and Faith felt burned as she quickly looked away. She was losing whatever was left of her self-confidence and she wasn't sure what was going on or why she was suddenly acting like a schoolgirl with a crush. She blamed it on the events of the last couple of weeks, on coming back to Sunnydale to help them in the fight, on Robin and the mix of feelings she'd had for him even from just their quick rumble and tumble in Buffy's bed that one night.

But it was more than just the events of the last couple of weeks. It was her whole life and everything led to this one moment, this one small revelation she'd been avoiding since the day she first met Buffy years before. She couldn't let this get to her and ruin any little bit of a chance they had at finally having an actual friendship. Of course the other side of her, the side that revelled in the darkness, had to ask her why she even cared, why she even wanted a friendship with Buffy and the others. She was battling her inner demons, the light versus the dark—or the gray versus the dark, really, since she didn't have much 'light' inside of her.

"Are you okay?" Buffy asked. "You keep kind of..."

"I'm fine."

"How's your arm feeling?"

"Like new, why?"

"Well," Buffy smiled as she put her mug down on the counter, "I was thinking we could get a few hours of training in. Just you and me, kind of like old times but not."

Faith shrugged nonchalantly, thinking for a moment, debating whether or not it was a good idea to take Buffy up on the offer to train together. It would only add fuel to the fire she was feeling inside of her, the fire that was just waiting for a spark to come roaring to life. She rubbed her forehead slowly, still thinking about it. They did need to train on a regular basis and despite the fact that it was early morning, she could already feel her muscles just aching for a good couple of hours of sparring. She nodded her head, fighting back the smile as Buffy's eyes lit up, her own fire sparking to life as she grabbed onto Faith's arm and pulled her towards the basement door.

"Jeez, B. If I would've known you were so enthusiastic about training..."

"Are you going to finish that?" Buffy asked as they walked down the basement stairs together. "And for your information, F," she paused, playful smile dancing over her lips as she turned to look at Faith while backing up towards the mats, "I am not enthusiastic about training in general, I'm just looking forward to having the chance to kick your ass without, you know, actually kicking your ass."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah."

"You get off on kicking my ass, Twinkie?" Faith asked, winking when Buffy blushed a little at the words. "Totally knew ya had some..."

"Just stop it, Faith," Buffy said firmly, holding back the laughter as the two spread out on the mats and began to stretch out slowly. "You are infuriating, you know that?"

"Yeah, you told me that the other night. Besides, B, I can't help it. Razzing you is like the Olympics of teasing."

"Very funny."

"Seriously, it's too easy sometimes."

"Well don't get too used to it, Faith. I'll find a way to get you back."

"Oh yeah?" Faith laughed, finding this much too fun to let it go. This playful banter was something she'd missed and from the look in Buffy's eyes, even just for the split second that Buffy allowed it to be shown clearly, she knew Buffy had missed it too. "You really honestly think that you can get me back? Bring it, B. Always did love a challenge."

Faith could feel that fire burning in the depths of her soul as she and Buffy began to circle one another. They hadn't had the chance to really spar one another and now that they did, Faith was growing excited at the opportunity to just let loose with someone who could easily match her strength and speed. It started off slowly; a kick here, a punch there, each one blocked with ease no matter who was on the receiving end. It wasn't a fight to the death, it was just two of them training, testing each other's reflexes. This went on for what felt like hours before they stopped, both of them sweating and out of breath, listening to the sounds of the others in the house beginning to start their day.

Faith could only sigh out in relief as she sat down on the mats before laying back. She closed her eyes as she stretched out her body, every inch of her tingling and feeling completely alive. Buffy was laid out on the mats a few feet away from her and neither of them spoke, too busy trying to catch their breath to think of saying a word to each other. Faith turned her head and opened her eyes, staring at Buffy as she lay there and concentrated on taking deep breaths to control her rapid breathing. She could hear Buffy's heart racing and she could almost feel the rapid pulse mixed with her own. It made her shiver and shudder for reasons unknown to her.

Buffy turned her head and looked over at her, a lazy smile forming over her lips as she took in a deep breath. Faith knew, in that moment, she'd never seen Buffy look quite the way she did now. She looked beautiful, as she always did, but there was something more there, something deeper. Faith tried to push those thoughts out, finding it harder as their eyes met and locked in a long, intense gaze. Something was definitely happening and Faith, being the coward she now knew she was quickly becoming, was too afraid to question it. Whatever moment they were sharing was shattered as soon as the basement door opened. Buffy was up and on her feet before Kennedy made it halfway down the stairs.

"Have you two been at it all morning?" Kennedy asked as she tossed them each a bottle of water.

"Pretty much," Faith replied as she slowly sat up and looked over at Buffy. "Neither of us could sleep, ya know how it is."

"You both couldn't sleep either?" Kennedy sighed as she sat down on the weight bench. "Willow thought I was just restless. She didn't believe me when I told her something is completely off about this whole thing."

"So it's not just us," Buffy said quietly as she looked back and forth between Faith and Kennedy. "There is definitely something going on. I don't like it."

"What do you think it is?" Kennedy asked. "I don't like this any more than you do, Buffy. Giles doesn't know anything, Willow doesn't believe me...she said I'm probably just feeling the energy from the mystical barriers around the Hellmouth, but I think it's more than that."

"It's definitely more than that," Faith said under her breath. "I could feel it long before we even got here."

"Feel what?" Buffy asked her as she went to sit on the mats near her. "What did you feel, Faith?"

"Pure evil. I don't know how to describe it, but I just know if it feels this way it can't be anything good. We might have to figure this one out ourselves."

"Looks like," Buffy sighed as she took a sip of her water. "You don't think it's...the First, do you?"

"We beat the First," Kennedy cut in. "How could it be back if we just..."

"We beat it, but we didn't kill it. You can't kill evil; you can only momentarily derail it."

Faith just lay back on the mats, listening to the two of them come up with their own theories of what was really going on there with the Hellmouth and why they were all feeling that uneasy restlessness since coming upon the seal the night before. Faith was still itching for more, her muscles aching yet craving to be pushed that much further. That familiar burn in the pit of her stomach took over and she groaned softly as she leaned up on her elbows. She was finding it next to impossible to take her eyes off of Buffy, watching her as she and Kennedy continued to talk.

She stood up and left the two of them down there alone to talk while she allowed herself to be lured upstairs by the smell of freshly brewed coffee. She grabbed a mug and poured herself a cup before joining Giles and Willow at the table. They were going over the books spread out on the table and she glanced at the one closest to her, raising an eyebrow when she couldn't read a single word on the page.

"What are you two researching?"

"Spells," Willow said with a soft smile. "We're trying to figure out what kind of mystical barrier has been set up around the Hellmouth. It's very strong. I've never felt anything quite like it before."

"You don't think it has anything to do with the way we're feeling? I mean here I thought it was only me feeling restless with all the energy I can feel around here, but it's not. Buffy and Ken are feeling it too and it's only gotten worse since last night."

"Are you unable to sleep?" Giles asked tiredly, looking over at her for a moment before closing the book he had open in front of him. "Do you feel as if you are riddled with endless energy and yet at the same time you feel drained?"

"Pretty much," she nodded. "Do you know why we're feeling like this? Cos I gotta tell ya, G, after me and Buffy found the seal last night, it's just gotten worse."

"Worse how? Please explain," he said as he removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. "It is imperative that we know all we can to further help us with whatever it is we are dealing with."

"After we found the seal and were on our way back to find you guys, I don't know, it just felt like something was there following us, watching us. Whatever it is, it's kept me awake all night. I feel drained and yet at the same time I feel like I can go out there and kick some ass. I just get this feeling that something is wrong. Buffy and Ken are downstairs discussing this right now, trying to figure it out for themselves."

Giles pulled a thick book from the bottom of the pile in front of him and furiously flipped through the pages. Faith sighed as she sat back on the chair and sipped her coffee, watching as Willow just stared at her long and hard for a moment before she reached out and stopped Giles from flipping through the pages.

"Ghosts of the past," Willow said softly. "That's what it is."

"Are you sure?" Giles asked, letting out a soft breath as his hands trembled slightly.

"Ghosts of the past?" Faith asked, looking at both of them as if they'd lost their minds. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"It's rare, a phenomenon of sorts. I've read of this before. Only a very few Slayers ever experienced it, and then only if they'd been to more than one Hellmouth. The details are scarce, but I believe that after Sunnydale and being inside the Hellmouth, being near another one so soon has brought on this phenomenon."

"Is it dangerous?"

"Not if you don't let it get to you," Willow cut in. "They aren't actual ghosts, you know? More like...Giles, help me out here."

"Ghosts of your subconscious trying to bring out the demon inside of you. As you know the Slayer is..."

"I've heard this all before," Faith said as she stopped him from continuing. "So these 'ghosts' are just like our subconscious then? Can't be too bad."

"I've explained it poorly," Giles said softly as he took a few deep, steady breaths. "There is actually no one way to explain what you are experiencing and what you will continue to experience."

"Will it go away?"

"Unfortunately, no."

"Fuck," Faith muttered as she stared down into her mug before she took a sip. "Is it gonna be dangerous for us, though? I mean, I know what my subconscious is like. You all do. I don't want to go back to that."

"You won't," Willow said as she offered her a sweet smile. "You won't because none of us will let that happen again."

"Thanks," Faith smiled back at her, finding it oddly comforting to hear that coming from Willow.

It reminded her of the drive from LA to Sunnydale, the things they'd talked about and the way that Willow just seemed to forgive her, just like that, for all the wrong and the bad that had happened in the past. She could never see herself being friends with Willow, they were just far too different, but just for a moment, a fraction of a second there, she knew that they had one shred of common ground between them.

"If you are going to sit here with us, you might as well make yourself useful." Willow handed her one of the lighter, thinner books. "Don't worry, it's in English. Mostly."

"Great," Faith laughed as she took a few sips of her coffee and ignored the look Giles gave her when she tossed the book haphazardly on the table in front of her and slouched further in her chair. "What? I don't do research. I am a Slayer. I do the ass kicking thing, not the book thing."

Willow rolled her eyes as she got up to get herself another cup of coffee. Faith just chuckled softly as she made herself comfortable in the chair and glanced down at the book Willow had given her. It was one of the Watcher's diaries, she recognized that much, and the date on the first page was almost a hundred years ago. She shrugged as she picked up the book and quickly read through the first page. There was no name, just dates and certain events written down. The parallels between what happened over a hundred years ago and what had happened throughout her time as a slayer were extremely close to being exactly the same.

She skimmed over the scribbled writing, every other word barely readable with the faded ink against the yellowed pages. The slayer that had been written about, she'd been alive for nearly ten years. That much Faith could pick up on. She'd been to three Hellmouths, beginning to hear voices with her relocation to the second one, along with the feeling of being watched. Faith groaned as she closed the book when it ended abruptly, the rest of the pages blank aside from an address written on the last page.

"Well, we're definitely not the first to feel this," she said under her breath, mostly to herself even though she knew that Giles and Willow were listening to her. "How'd you get most of these books? Didn't they all get swallowed up with the rest of Sunnydale?"

"Unlike everyone else, I was prepared for the worst to happen. I had every text I had shipped out days before the fight began," Giles replied. "Unfortunately, just like everyone else, I neglected to pack other necessities."

Faith laughed as she grabbed her nearly empty mug and stood up slowly. "Hey, we all make mistakes, right? Can't always do everything perfect first go around. I'm living fuckin' proof of that."

"Indeed you are," Giles smiled warmly at her as she made her way to the coffeemaker and poured herself a fresh cup. "I know it has only barely been two weeks since Sunnydale, but how are you holding everything together, Faith?"

"Honestly? I'm just barely managing to get through each day here, y'know?," she sighed as she leaned against the counter, feeling slightly uncomfortable talking to Giles. Willow was staring at her, but she didn't let it get to her. "I should probably call Angel later, touch base with him. I'm sure he'd just love to know the deal with everything here."

"You mean about the Hellmouth? I've already talked to him," Willow said as she looked back at Giles. "_We_ talked to him I should say. He did ask about you."

"Oh yeah? What'd he say?"

"He wanted to know if you were all sane-girl now and not all grr-argh again," Willow chuckled uneasily as she quickly looked away from her. "Of course I told him everything was great, peachy even, but I don't think he believed me."

"Yeah, why would he, right?" Faith said softly as she shook her head. "It's not like it fucking matters. He's helped me out. Got the ball rolling on the whole redemption deal. It's all up to me to keep it going. Figure I've been doing okay so far."

"You've been doing wonderfully considering the circumstances, Faith. You should be proud of how far you come in such little time." Giles had a genuine smile across his face as he just looked over at her. She smiled right back at him, wishing she was the type to randomly hug others at moments like this, but she wasn't and she was glad that they both knew it too. "Now, as for this phenomenon you've been experiencing, if anything changes and if it gets worse, I need for you to immediately inform one of us."

"Will do," Faith nodded and took a sip of her coffee before stifling a yawn. "I'm gonna get some sleep, or at least try. Don't wake me unless, y'know, apocalypse is coming, or we're under attack, or whatever."

"Faith, don't joke about those things!" Willow hissed at her. She wore a pained look laced with traces of fear, something Faith had only ever seen once before, and it brought back memories, slivers of flashbacks she'd rather just forget. "Never joke about those things when we're living on a Hellmouth, especially one that, from what I can tell, is far higher on the evil scale than Sunnydale ever was."

She shrugged and finished off her coffee, letting out a sharp breath as the still-hot beverage burned slightly on the way down. She passed Buffy and Kennedy on her way up to the stairs and she muttered a half-assed goodnight before she took the stairs two at a time and went straight to her room. She debated whether to have a shower, but a sudden wave of exhaustion hit her as she stripped from her clothes and flopped down onto the bed.

It was hard to let go of the thoughts running through her mind and hard to fall asleep when all she could hear was the voices downstairs and the ones in her head, fighting for dominance and fighting for her attention. She pulled the covers over her completely, burying her face into the pillow as she tried to drown out the voices, all of them. Sleep came eventually, but her mind was riddled with nightmares of the past, her childhood, and parts of her time in Sunnydale. She kept waking up, trying so hard to control her dreams, wanting nothing more than to just be able to sleep for more than an hour at a time.

The afternoon slipped by and she did nothing but toss and turn until dusk fell. She gave up, throwing the covers off of her as she stared up at the ceiling in the dark room. The dull ache between her legs started as soon as she heard soft whimpering moans coming from Buffy's room. She raised an eyebrow when she realized what Buffy was doing and she couldn't stop her hands from roaming over her own body. She'd gotten the release she'd needed after the fight against the First and its army, but as far as she knew Buffy hadn't. She groaned softly as she deftly slipped her fingers over her soaked pussy, throwing her head back as she closed her eyes and listened as Buffy's moans echoed her own.

"Fuck," she panted under her breath as she circled her overly sensitive clit, her senses now hyper aware of the soft sounds in the next room. She could hear Buffy breathing heavily, sighing out contently as she fucked herself slowly.

She spread her legs further, sliding a single, solitary finger deep inside her hot, wet hole, every inch of her body pulsating with every rapid beat of her heart. She bit her lower lip, feeling so close so soon. It was never this quick for her, but she wasn't exactly complaining as she ran her free hand over her stomach and up to her breasts, rolling a semi-hard nipple between her fingers as she thrust a second finger roughly inside of herself. She couldn't stop the moans that slipped out and she bit her lip harder as she felt the first waves of her orgasm begin to build.

"Oh god," Buffy moaned softly, her voice thick and husky, traveling through the thin walls and sounding as if she was right there next to her.

Faith let out sharp, panting breaths as she listened to the soft moans coming from Buffy. She knew if she could hear her clearly that Buffy could, without a doubt, hear her too. She slowed down, holding her breath and waiting, hearing Buffy take in a sharp, deep breath as she let out a strangled moan. They both stopped as the sound of footsteps ascending the stairs broke whatever trance they'd both fallen into and Faith ran her fingers down her stomach slowly, listening as a door shut down the hallway. She waited for Buffy to continue, finding it impossible to hold back the moan as she heard Buffy gasp softly.

Her mouth was dry, her body growing rigid as white hot pleasure shot through her body. Never had self-gratification been so satisfying for her, only ever having succumbed to it when she was too tired or too injured to find a willing partner. She could feel herself getting closer with every thrust of her fingers deep inside and she circled her clit with her free hand, letting out a primal moan as she let herself go. Buffy was right there with her and for a moment she could almost feel the pleasure Buffy felt mixed with her own.

She lay there with her fingers buried deep inside her cunt as she struggled to catch her breath. She heard shuffling in the other room and the sound of a zipper being pulled up. Seconds later the door opened and she heard Buffy descend the stairs. She groaned softly as she got up from the bed, her legs shaking as she pulled on her clothes, her fingers feeling weak as she buttoned up her jeans. She'd barely slipped on her boots when she heard footsteps coming back up the stairs and she nearly jumped when she heard the soft yet insistent knock on her bedroom door.

"Faith, are you awake?" Kennedy asked softly. "We're having a meeting before we head out on patrol. You better be awake."

Faith chuckled softly as she walked to the door and opened it. "I'm awake, Ken. What's this about a meeting?"

"Just...a meeting? I don't know, Giles told me to come and get you," she shrugged as Faith stepped out into the hallway and closed the door behind her. "Were you sleeping all afternoon?"

"Yeah. Didn't sleep last night."

"Feeling better now, aren't you?" Kennedy asked, a small smirk forming over her lips as they headed for the stairs. "You know, I still say you two need to fuck. I'm sure it'd get rid of that tension you both are feeling."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Faith nearly growled as she grabbed Kennedy by the collar of her shirt and stopped her from walking down the stairs. "Seriously, Ken. You need to fuckin' drop it. It's never gonna happen, so get that into your head, okay?"

"You think you two are the only ones that can feel each other? Because that's not true. I _can_ feel you two, just a little, and I do know what you two were just doing. Pity you don't have the guts to just take her the way you and I both know she wants to be taken."

"You need to shut up. I told ya already that it's not gonna happen."

"Are you a coward? I heard you had this saying once," Kennedy chuckled as she pried Faith's tightly clutching hands off of her shirt. "Want. Take. Have. You don't live by that philosophy anymore?"

"It's a fucked up philosophy that got me into nothing but trouble. I don't live by that anymore and I don't plan to start again."

Kennedy only laughed as she headed down the stairs. Faith sighed and followed her down to the living room where the others were waiting. She stood by the couch, listening as Giles spoke of the plans for patrol that night and letting her eyes drift over to where Buffy sat on the far end of the couch. When their eyes met, the telltale blush that crept over Buffy's cheeks before she quickly looked away told her so much more than words ever could. Buffy had heard her just as she'd heard Buffy and despite the apparent embarrassment of the whole situation, she just _knew_ Buffy had enjoyed their little experience.

Faith licked her lips slowly, fighting back the smirk that was dying to escape when Buffy looked back over at her, her fingers nervously fidgeting with the hem of her shirt. She hadn't heard a word that Giles was saying, her mind conjuring images she'd spent far too long fighting off. She couldn't fight them any longer, not after what had just transpired between them. The ache between her legs was growing as she let her eyes drink in Buffy, not caring that Kennedy stood next to her, grinning like a fool because she knew she was right. Faith knew she was right, yet there was no way she'd ever let those words slip past her lips. She wouldn't give Kennedy the satisfaction.

It was impossible for her to tear her eyes away from Buffy's as they just stared at one another. She'd give anything to know what was going through Buffy's mind right then despite how much it scared her to consider what she could possibly be thinking. She shoved her hands into the pockets of her jeans as she blinked and tore her gaze away from Buffy's, trying with all that she had to pay attention to what Giles was saying. She could feel that ever familiar buzz, the one coming from Kennedy just a little dimmer than what she knew she felt coming from Buffy. It made her sigh out softly, her lips suddenly drier than they were after a night of heavy drinking. She said nothing as she walked out of the living room and into the kitchen.

Whatever was happening to them, to her, was pulling her to the depths of places she'd never been before. It was taking her thoughts on a joyride, playing with her, taunting her, dangling what she knew she could never have. What only existed in the fantasies she struggled not to let take over every thought of every waking moment of the day. She pulled out a bottle of water from the refrigerator, slamming the door shut as she closed her eyes and twisted off the cap.

"We're heading out," Buffy said as she walked into the kitchen, startling Faith from the trance she'd fallen into with her thoughts.

"Great, give me a minute," Faith replied softly as she lifted the bottle to her lips, taking a deep breath before she took a sip. "Where we headed to tonight?"

"Were you not paying attention?"

"Not really," she chuckled softly before she downed the rest of the water and placed the empty bottle on the counter. "Still half asleep here."

Buffy said nothing more to her, only raising an eyebrow as she turned and walked out of the kitchen. She followed Buffy out to the front hallway, grabbing a stake and the knife she'd had her eye on before. Kennedy and Buffy were talking quietly, going over the route for patrol. She only picked up on bits of it, figuring out from the things they were saying, or lack thereof, that they'd be patrolling the neighbourhood around the Hellmouth to see if they saw any strange activity despite the mystical barrier that surrounded those four blocks.

Faith stayed behind the two as they walked towards the Hellmouth neighbourhood. She kept trying to push out all the thoughts she had, the fantasies of Buffy she was afraid to even think with her so close, and failed continuously as her eyes swept over Buffy from behind. There was no denying the fact that Buffy was the epitome of sexy. No other woman had ever gotten under Faith's skin the way Buffy had. No other women invaded her thoughts and caused her to question everything she'd done to her in the past. Her time spent in prison had resulted in endless hours of being trapped within the confines of her own mind and it produced a lot of answers she just didn't want to hear.

She pulled her pack of cigarettes out of her jacket pocket, sighing as she lit one and inhaled deeply. Buffy glanced back at her, shaking her head slightly as she turned and continued walking ahead of her next to Kennedy. They were talking about plans to arrange a workable patrol schedule, that much Faith picked up on as they continued walking down the quiet, empty streets. She kept looking behind her as well, unable to shake the feeling of being watched yet again. It made her skin crawl and the Slayer inside her awaken. She needed a fight, some action, something, _anything_ to get rid of the growing tension that just didn't seem to want to go away.

Sirens blared off in the distance as the three of them got closer to the Hellmouth. Aside from that, their footsteps against the pavement, and the breeze that picked up, there was nothing more to be heard. It made her uneasy. A city as big as Cleveland shouldn't be so eerily quiet. They came to a stop just outside the abandoned store and stood there, each of them looking in a different direction for any signs of movement from within the shadows that surrounded them.

"So, do we stay here and do the stakeout thing, or what?" Kennedy asked quietly as Faith sat down on the curb and finished her cigarette. "I vote for the stakeout thing."

Faith chuckled softly as Kennedy sat down next to her. "Yeah, the stakeout thing. Sit here like sitting ducks and hope something comes out and tries to eat us. Perfect fucking plan, Ken."

"There isn't anything else we can do," Buffy said as she sat down on the other side of Faith and let out a soft sigh. "Giles wants us to monitor the activity around here. The only thing we can do right now is to stay right where we are."

"It's gonna be a long, boring night," Faith said with a laugh as she flicked her cigarette away, watching as the embers scattered over the pavement.

Faith looked over at Buffy just out of the corner of her eye and found herself smiling a little as Buffy stretched her legs out in front of her and let out a soft grunt of frustration and boredom. Kennedy got up and began pacing near them, but Faith wasn't paying a speck of attention to her. All she could feel was Buffy next to her and the warmth radiating off of her as Buffy's hand easily reached for her own. Such a small gesture that came out of nowhere and it made her heart race as their fingers intertwined. She couldn't figure out just why Buffy wanted to hold her hand, nor could she figure out what made her do it.

She wasn't sure if what she was feeling was only what she herself felt, or if she was feeling what Buffy felt at that moment as well. In the last eleven days since the fall of Sunnydale, everything was gradually changing between all of them. Old and new friendships were being established, new bonds being formed, and something was transpiring between the two of them, something that neither of them seemed to be fighting, nor pushing away as they had before. She didn't want to think of just what it was that was happening between them, as it felt too surreal for it to really be happening.

But it was happening and there was something more there, something just waiting to capture them both and send them on an adventure of discovery together that seemed to have been a long time coming.

She looked over at Buffy, waiting until the moment their eyes met before she smiled at her, watching as something she thought was desire flashed through Buffy's eyes. She tried to convince herself that what she was seeing didn't really exist, instead being a product of her own wishful thinking. In her mind, this wasn't happening and she tried harder to convince herself she was still in her bed and dreaming, fantasizing as she had in moments of weakness when being alone got to her head. Buffy smiled back eventually, giving her hand a gentle squeeze before she let go.

Faith turned her head away from Buffy, breaking the intense eye contact they had for those few short minutes. She closed her eyes as she held her breath, still trying to convince herself that this was all a dream. Either that or she'd stepped into an alternate universe where things like this were possible.

She knew that being on a Hellmouth, anything was possible and that it could play tricks on one's mind. With the things she'd been feeling since they'd arrived there, she couldn't banish the nagging thought that this was one way whatever evil was there lurking in the shadows had of playing with her very soul. It was pushing her to the edges of whatever sanity that she'd managed to hold onto over the years, waiting for that moment to give her that final push to allow that darkness in her to take over.

And in her world, the darkness always won. Eventually. She had to fight it harder this time, not wanting to lose what she finally had now. A place in the lives of those she'd betrayed, of those she was learning to love in the tiniest of ways, a place in a family they were building amongst themselves. She couldn't lose it and she had to find the light to lead her on, to make her want to fight with everything she had to keep from succumbing to the darkest parts of her soul.


	9. Chapter 9

The next four nights were spent in the neighbourhood around the Hellmouth. There was no activity, suspicious or otherwise. There was no mention of the way Buffy had slipped her hand into Faith's that first night without a word and there was no mention of what had transpired between them before that either. There was only awkward eye contact and small, shy smiles exchanged whenever they looked at one another. Faith wasn't one for those shy smiles, but she couldn't help it whenever she just looked at Buffy and saw something more there.

The something more she was still refusing to fully accept, to really believe was actually there and not just a figment of her imagination, always wary of that imagination being just a bit over-active. In the last four days however, they'd all gotten into what she dared called a somewhat normal, steady routine. She was always the last one up, the last one to eat breakfast, and she always ran down with a piece of toast, a bagel, or a pancake shoved in her mouth as Giles told her to get a move on with her training. Why she was obeying his 'rules', she really didn't know, but she really hadn't questioned it either. She wondered if it had to do with the years that she'd spent in prison. She knew it did, at least it had _something_ to do with that.

This morning had started off just like the last couple of days. She woke up just before ten, dressed in sweats and a loose fitting t-shirt. She pulled her hair back into a loose ponytail and went downstairs to get coffee, have a cigarette, and eat some breakfast before a couple of hours of training with Buffy and Kennedy. Dawn, Xander, and Andrew were in the living room watching TV just as they were almost every single day now, none of them having anything better to do. Giles was sitting in the one armchair by the window, reading the morning paper and sipping what Faith knew was most likely his fifth cup of tea that morning.

"Morning," Willow said cheerfully as Faith walked into the kitchen and headed straight for the coffeemaker

"Hey," she muttered under her breath in reply, smiling over at her despite how so not awake she was. "Are Buffy and Kennedy already downstairs?"

"As always."

"Great."

"Are you feeling okay?" Willow asked as Faith poured herself a cup of coffee and leaned heavily against the counter. "Just feeling a little tired, aren't you?"

"Add boredom to that," Faith replied with a forced laugh. "Sometimes just wanna drop everything and fuck off for a couple days, find the fun."

Willow shook her head, stifling a laugh since she knew Faith was partly joking. Things weren't just falling into a routine there with everyone; they were all slowly falling into a comfortableness that had never been there before. Even Andrew was finally getting along with everyone, at least until he started annoying Xander, and then it was pure hilarity for everyone else not involved. Faith had found her center, found a way to curb some of the anger that still fluttered to the surface at times.

Faith stood there and sipped her coffee, listening to the sounds of fists hitting the punching bag down in the basement. Kennedy came upstairs, looking completely worn out as she sat next to Willow at the table. Their public displays of affection had been unashamedly increased and it was at the point where everyone was continuously telling them to get a room. Faith just smiled at the two of them and headed downstairs, leaving them alone in the kitchen. Seeing them all touchy-feely made her yearn for it herself, but she hadn't had the desire to go out and find someone to satisfy those urges. She didn't even have the desire to call Julie despite how intense their second time together had been.

She stopped at the bottom of the stairs and sat down, watching as Buffy pummelled the bag repeatedly without breaking her rhythm. The small radio they'd brought down played old classic rock, setting the beat for Buffy, and Faith couldn't take her eyes off of her. The look of focus Buffy had was intense and she cocked her head to the side a little, her eyes drinking in the fluid movements of her body, waiting for Buffy to notice that she was down there watching her. As soon as her thoughts began to tread into dangerous territory, she cleared her throat as she stood up and placed her empty mug on the bottom step.

"About time you decided to get up," Buffy laughed as she turned to look at her. She grabbed onto the bag to keep it from swaying, taking in a deep breath as Faith just shrugged her shoulders and walked over to the mats to stretch. "Did you happen to talk to Giles yet?"

"No, why?"

"We're taking the night off," Buffy smiled as she joined her on the mats. "Kennedy managed to convince him, since there'd been no activity around the Hellmouth lately, that we deserved a night off."

"Right, cos we've been working so fuckin' _hard_ the last couple of nights."

"One night off then we're going to start with what Giles is calling a regular patrol schedule," Buffy said, rolling her eyes as Faith laughed dryly at that. "I don't like it any more than you do. You get the feeling that something still isn't right around here?"

"Yeah."

"Is something bothering you?"

"Me? No. Why do you think that?"

"You aren't really..." Buffy paused, looking as if she was trying to find the right word. She just shrugged as she watched Faith stretch out. "You're bored, aren't you?"

"Of course I am," she smiled, wondering when Buffy started to figure her out. "Living on a Hellmouth isn't supposed to be boring. That alone is scary as fuck. Don't even know what's gonna end up happening once things really start to blow up around here."

"Whatever does happen, we'll be ready for it."

"Sure fucking hope so," Faith said under her breath as she stood up from the mats slowly, her muscles stretched and ready, aching for a few good hours of training.

Before she could ask Buffy if she wanted to spar, Buffy was already headed up the stairs. She let out a soft, heavy sigh as she grabbed the tape and wrapped up her hands. She cranked the volume on the radio and began working over the bag, quickly finding a rhythm that burned her muscles in a way that felt good. The only time she was able to let go of the thoughts running rampant through her mind was when she lost herself in the rhythm of pushing her body to the max. The last fifteen days had been full of vicissitudes, self-discovery, and finding that the path to redemption would be touch and go for a while.

For hours she was down there alone, lost in her own world, the sounds of the music on the radio and the rapid beats of her fists hitting the bag keeping her focused. She loved to push herself to the max and the beads of sweat that rolled down her torso and soaked into her shirt was evidence her body was being put through quite a workout. She stopped after a couple of hours, her fists sore, her muscles aching, and her stomach growling.

Nearly everyone but Buffy was in the kitchen getting dinner ready when she walked upstairs. She grabbed a beer out of the fridge and headed upstairs, wanting nothing more than to have a nice hot shower before she ate. She went to her room first, taking small yet frequent sips of her beer as she walked down the hallway. She left the door open and placed the half-empty bottle of beer down on the dresser. A night off meant they could all do what they wanted and despite the pleas her body was giving her to go out and find some proper release, she didn't want to do anything but lounge around the house. She had to laugh at herself, knowing how much it wasn't like her to want to spend a night at home.

She finished off her beer and grabbed a change of clothes before she headed for the bathroom to take a hot shower. Buffy was talking quietly on the phone in her room as she passed by the partly closed door. From the little bit she overheard, she realized that Buffy was talking to Angel, filling him in on the things that had happened, or the lack of in the last few days.

Trying to keep all her thoughts at bay, she had a quick shower and headed downstairs to eat. Staying lost in her own little world, she grabbed a big bowl of spaghetti and sat at the table, barely listening to the others as they talked quietly. Buffy joined them when they'd nearly finished eating, choosing to sit next to Faith instead of in the empty chair next to Xander across the table. She ignored the look Kennedy shot her way as the others began to clear the table, focusing on Buffy instead and smiling a little when she caught Buffy staring at her while trying to make it not so obvious that she was.

"Are you...going out tonight?" Buffy asked softly, barely heard over the clatter of dishes and the water running in the sink. "I thought maybe I'd take you up on your offer from before."

"What offer?"

"About finding the fun," she shrugged, moving the spaghetti around in her bowl with her fork. "I thought with our night off maybe we could go to the club we went to the other night."

"Sure, B. Was kind of thinking of staying in tonight, but hell, if you want to find the fun I'm down for that," Faith grinned as she leaned back in her chair and looked over at Kennedy and Willow for a split second. "We should get everyone to come out, y'know, make it a group thing."

In truth, though she could barely admit it even to herself, she was petrified of spending too much time alone with Buffy. She didn't want to turn down Buffy's offer to hang out since she was obviously putting in some effort to further establish their growing friendship. She kept asking herself _what's the worst that could happen_ if they did decide to go out to the club together, just the two of them, and the answers her mind came up with sent her to a place she'd been fighting not to slip into for days.

"Uh, sure," Buffy finally said after she'd taken a few bites of her spaghetti before pushing the bowl aside. "That girl you uh...you know, is she going to be there?"

"Why?"

"Because it's kind of...awkward and..." Buffy looked away from her as a slight blush crept over her cheeks. "I don't want to go out somewhere with you if someone is going to be all over you," she whispered under her breath, the blush deepening as she allowed herself to look back over at Faith.

"Well, we could always go somewhere else, no big deal, B. Big city and all, there's bound to be plenty of clubs we can hit up."

"Are you two going out tonight?" Kennedy asked from where she and Willow stood at the sink, washing and drying the dishes. "If you are, we are so going to hit up this club I read about in the paper this morning. It just opened and the best part is..." Kennedy chuckled as Willow poked her hard in the stomach, warning her not to continue.

"What's the best part?" Buffy asked, her curiosity now piqued and the blush over her cheeks fading fast.

"Uh, from the description that was written up, looks like it'd be much like the Bronze," Willow said quickly before Kennedy could say a word. "We do need to find a place just to go find the fun every once in a while and it might not be the Bronze, but...what I'm trying to say is..."

"We need a place to hang out outside of the house," Kennedy finished for her, smiling as she leaned in to give her a sweet, chaste kiss. "So, you two up for checking it out?"

"Why not?" Buffy replied, looking right at Faith as if she was waiting for her to agree.

"Sounds fun," Faith said finally, smiling over at Kennedy and Willow before looking back at Buffy. "Looks like we'll definitely all be finding the fun tonight."

"Looks like."

****

The club they'd planned to go to was packed, it being opening night and all, and when they saw the line to get in, they decided against it and headed to the small bar across the street. It was quiet in there aside from the baseball game playing on the TV and a few patrons that were likely regulars there. They sat at a booth near the back and ordered a round of shots and a pitcher of beer. Xander and Andrew had decided to tag along with them and nobody had protested against the two of them coming out with them.

The booth was just barely big enough for the six of them to squeeze in together. Faith ended up on the edge next to Xander, trying not to feel slightly disappointed that Buffy had chosen to sit across from her next to Kennedy and Willow. They made small talk, mostly talking about what they'd do throughout the summer ahead of them. Despite them living on a supposedly active Hellmouth, they wanted to try to live normal lives, as least as normal as they could considering the circumstances. Xander started rambling on about how they should all go camping one weekend and that caused all but Faith to groan in protest.

"Well, Faith," he smiled at her as he casually draped his arm over her shoulders, "looks like it's just you and me one weekend with nothing but nature, the stars at night, and a case of beer to split around a roaring campfire."

"Great."

"It'll be a good bonding experience, don't you think?"

"For sure, Xand," she said, feigning an enthusiastic smile as she shrugged his arm off of her shoulders. "Y'know, it's been god knows how fucking long since I've been camping."

She smiled at him, holding back that fear she had of opening herself up to others. She'd realized a lot over the past couple of days that nobody really knew her; they only just assumed that they did. It'd always been hard for her to open herself up and talk about normal things in her life and in her past. Talking about her sexual endeavours and crazy experiences was not filed under opening herself up and talking about herself, not in any meaningful way.

The conversation went on without her, Xander trying to convince the others to come along on their nearly non-existent camping trip. Faith knew that as the days passed their actual periods of downtime would be few and far in between. By the time the pitcher of beer was finished, Faith felt the strings of boredom begin to tug at her nerves and she got up from the booth and pulled Xander with her over to the lone pool table at the far end of the small bar. He said nothing as he racked up, smiling a little over at her as she stood at the other end of the table and fiddled with the pool stick in her hand.

The first game went by quickly, Faith letting Xander win since she wasn't in the mood. She wasn't feeling the atmosphere of the bar. It was far too tame for the burning desire inside of her to get out there and get a little wild. Those days were far from over for her, yet the other desire to actually go out and enjoy herself in one of the many ways she loved to was gone. It caused a rush of thoughts to flood through her mind as the two of them joined the others back in the booth. She didn't know what had happened in the last two weeks, but she knew something had changed inside of her. She was losing her old self and finding someone else there under all the layers she hid behind all the time.

Her eyes kept meeting Buffy's as the others talked and laughed quietly. It was too surreal for her to see the things she'd been seeing every time their eyes met over the last couple of days. There was definitely desire there in Buffy's eyes, and she had to try to convince herself not to figure out why. The small, shy smiles they'd shared was unravelling something between them, something that she knew went far beyond the planes of friendship.

It was too much just to sit there across from Buffy and she stood up quickly, ignoring the questioning glance that she received from all of them as she made her way to the bar. She sat down on the stool at the end and motioned to the bartender to bring her a cold beer. The old man just smiled warmly at her as he placed the bottle of Budweiser down in front of her.

"Can I get a shot of Jack with this?" Faith asked before he turned to walk away. He returned with the bottle and poured her a shot slowly, his hand shaking as he looked as if he struggled to control it. "Thanks. Can you leave the bottle? Just add it to our tab."

He nodded as he left the bottle there in front of her, picked up the worn and tattered rag, and walked over to the only other patron currently seated at the bar, a man a few stools down the bar. They talked quietly, but it wasn't hard for her to pick up on their conversation loud and clear.

"You heard about the Slayers coming to town?" The man in the dark trench coat asked the bartender quietly. Faith watched out of the corner of her eye as the old man nodded his head. "Things have calmed down around here since they've shown up. Saw them the other night wandering the area that's been c0ndemned."

"This is relevant information to me, why?"

"You see, I've got a couple of friends who don't like that they're here. well," he chuckled as he looked over at Faith for a moment before lowering his voice a little more, "I wouldn't call them friends exactly, more like the enemies I like to keep close to keep the peace around these parts. They don't like the fact that this city has three Slayers living here."

"You heard about Sunnydale then, I suppose?"

"Nothing but a crater in the ground. Heard they fought the First evil and won. Their luck is bound to run out eventually. Just thought you'd like to get the heads up that these friends of mine are looking for a way out of town. I was told you were the man that could help them."

"I'm sorry," the old man said as he shook his head and wrung the tattered rag in his shaking hands. "I no longer do that line of work. My loyalties lie here and with my wife. I cannot put her life in danger any longer. You can tell your _friends_ they can find their own way out of town."

"See, Henry, that's the problem. There's something else out there now that won't let them leave," the man said under his breath as he leaned over the bar a little ways. "I've heard your wife was the one to cast the barrier around the Hellmouth. You don't suppose she's behind this latest...setback, do you?"

"Laura isn't...she hasn't for quite some time, not since the barrier spell was cast. I'm sorry, Sam," the bartender sighed as he looked over at Faith, the glint in his eye almost speaking the words he couldn't say. "Why is it that you care to help those _friends_ of yours now when you never bothered to in the past?"

"Because they are bound to become a problem and we can't have that now, can we? Been quiet around here lately and it's become even more so with the arrival of the Slayers and the people are starting to notice that something is...off. Even those down at the station know that something is wrong."

Faith didn't like this guy. He was human and she was sure of that, having not felt any vibes coming off of him other than the ones that screamed 'traitor' and 'liar'. She poured herself another shot as Kennedy came to join her at the bar, a pointed glance telling the other girl to keep quiet as Faith continued to listen to the conversation unfolding a few feet away.

"Henry, I'm telling you, I don't like this. Word has it that having the Slayers in town is going to cause a lot more trouble. More than any of us have seen on our lifetime."

"And what do you suggest we do about it then, Sam?"

"Find a way to get them out of our town before things get really bad. We handled it before they came here just fine."

Kennedy looked at Faith with wide eyes, looking as if she wanted to say something but instead grabbing the shot glass sitting in front of Faith, filling it up before quickly throwing it back. The man sitting on the stool placed a card on the bar, sliding it across to the old man still wringing the tattered rag in his hands. He stood up slowly from the stool, staring both Faith and Kennedy up and down before he headed for the door. The old man dropped the rag on top of the counter, sighing out loudly as he looked over at the two of them.

"I suppose you heard everything," he said quietly as he walked over towards them and placed a second shot glass in front of Kennedy. "I don't think he knows who you are."

"And who are we?" Faith asked, raising an eyebrow when he laughed stiffly.

"The Slayers."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I have the uncanny ability to know these things," he replied with a smile. "My wife, she saw you before you came here and she was anxious to share her vision with me, of course. Unfortunately, with the visions, names are never there. I am Henry."

"Faith," she said as she reached out to shake his hand. "This is Kennedy and the blond haired chick over there, that's Buffy." Henry inclined his head briefly before stepping away briefly to serve a few customers who were now walking up to the bar.

She'd always been fairly good at reading other people; it was one of those hidden talents she'd had for as long as she could remember. The only person she'd never been able to read was Buffy and even that was slowly starting to change. They needed a snitch, as she had put it before, and she got the feeling that Henry would be the one they'd come to for information when the endless hours of researched turned up nothing. How she got all of that, she wasn't sure, but she always went by her gut instinct despite the occasional times when it got her into nothing but trouble.

"So, who was that you were talking to?" Faith asked after Henry had served the few customers their drinks and returned to them.

"Brother," Henry replied with a solemn voice. "He...it is a rather long story."

"Got lots of time for stories," Faith replied as she reached for her beer. "How many do you figure know that we're here?"

"Enough. I've heard things and not just from Sam, but also from others that come in here. Seems a lot of those around here aren't too happy you've shown up," he said under his breath as a few of his customers left. He nodded a goodbye in their direction before looking back at Faith and Kennedy. "The police here have been handling things for as long as I can remember. There was a Slayer here once, many years ago. She was turned after she'd been here for several weeks and ever since then no other Slayer has ever come. Not one."

"Never?" Kennedy asked, looking at Faith for a moment as if she was bored. "So, we got some Slayer who is a vampire running this town?"

"Not anymore," Henry replied quietly. "She was taken care of years ago. The ones who ran the tunnels with her are still around. Nobody can seem to track them down. Sam knows of one of them, but even I am not so sure about my own brother's intentions. As far as I know he's been helping _them_ get out of town, but since you three have arrived, there's a mystical force preventing them from leaving."

"Does this have anything to do with the barrier that is around the Hellmouth?"

"It does," Henry nodded. "My wife is responsible for the barrier itself, but we believe over time it's expanded and taken a life of its own. We have no idea why it would keep _them_ from leaving, but it has. It's also prevented more from coming into the city."

"How is that possible?" Kennedy asked as she took a seat on the stool next to Faith. "I know anything is possible, but how is _that_ possible?"

"Magic has no bounds," Henry said softly. "My wife and the coven she grew up in are very powerful. They've done things no others ever have, things no one ever believed was possible. It isn't dangerous, the barrier, if you were wondering. It has no affect on humans."

Faith looked back at the booth, watching Buffy and the others laugh as they tried to finish off the beer in the pitcher. The rational side of her told her that now wasn't a good time to learn all of this. Buffy looked over at her and smiled sweetly, the glaze in her eyes telling Faith she was definitely feeling a little more than just tipsy. She fought back the laugh as she turned back to Henry.

"You know this place inside and out, don't ya?" Faith asked him, keeping her voice low despite the lack of other patrons around them.

"I do."

"Would you be willing to work with us, help us out when we need it?"

"I could, yes," he smiled at her as he reached for another bottle of beer and placed it down in front of her as she finished hers off. "And your drinks tonight are on the house."

Henry gave her a small card with an address and a number on it. She flashed a smile, mouthing a thank you as she grabbed her beer and pulled Kennedy off of the stool. They went back to sit with the others at the booth and once the laughter had died down she told them what had just went on with Henry. It was sobering for the others, just as it had been for her having heard the things that Henry's brother had said. They didn't let it bring a halt to their night, though, and the conversation soon changed from the more serious things back to Xander trying to convince the others to do the camping trip he had his heart set on. Faith just sat there and thought about everything.

Everything happened for a reason. Every little thing that happened always caused a ripple effect of sorts. Having ended up there in the bar instead of at the club as they had planned had happened for a reason. If they hadn't decided to skip the club due to the line outside the door, they wouldn't have ended up there in the small bar and they wouldn't have ended up finding out things they would have never found out otherwise. She knew they would have come across Henry or his brother Sam at one point or another, but her gut instinct told her it was better that they had tonight.

They stayed until Henry closed the bar for the night and the walk back to the house was quiet, the rather cool night air sobering them up just a little. Faith stayed back a few paces from the others, smoking the last cigarette in her pack slowly and keeping her eyes on Buffy as she struggled to walk straight. She had to try to suppress the laughter when Buffy and Willow clung to each other, both of them giggling as they nearly fell to the ground.

They lucked out, making it back to the house without any incidents. None of them were in any shape to fight if they had run into any vampires or demons. Whether that was pure luck or the vampires and demons were running scared, Faith knew better than to count on them getting that sort of break ever again. They'd been stupid, but they were alive to tell the tale and she vowed that next time they'd arrange for some transportation. Everyone headed for bed, but Faith stayed down in the living room, sitting on the chair by the window in the dark and just staring outside.

"Hey," Buffy said softly as she sat in the chair next to her. "What do you think about the deal with Henry?"

"Seems like a good guy," Faith shrugged. "He'll help us out."

"How are you so sure? How can you just trust someone you've just met?"

"Going by my gut instinct, B. If I end up being wrong, you have full permission to kick my ass."

Buffy just nodded her head, staring at Faith in the dark room as if she was waiting for her to say something else. Faith only shifted in the chair, trying to get comfortable and finding it nearly impossible to under the intense gaze she found herself subjected to. It took everything she had to keep from looking back at Buffy. She wasn't so sure how much longer she could hold herself back without making a move. Those thoughts and those feelings were getting stronger with every day that passed and she was no longer strong enough to fight what she felt. She wanted to talk to Buffy about what was unfolding between them since she knew there was something more happening than the two of them just trying to be friends. They could never be friends and she was beginning to realize why.

"You've been pretty quiet all night," Buffy said softly, waiting for Faith look over at her before she continued, "I kept thinking maybe you weren't having fun. Wasn't tonight all about finding the fun?"

"I had plenty of fun, B. The whole thing with Henry was kind of sobering."

"Giles is going to need to know what happened tonight."

"Yeah," she replied as she closed her eyes and slouched down in the chair, still trying to get comfortable. "Gonna just wait until the morning to tell him."

"I don't think we should...do this too often," Buffy groaned as she held her head in her hands. "Now I remember why I hate drinking."

"So why do you do it then?"

"I don't know," she laughed softly. "I think there's a part of me, this little part, that just wants to be normal and act like someone my age. You know, minus the keg parties and everything."

"You aren't gonna be sick, are ya?" Faith asked as she watched Buffy rock back and forth slowly. "B? If you're gonna be sick..."

"I'm fine. I didn't drink that much, you know."

"Maybe you should just go to bed then?"

"I'm not tired."

"Right," Faith sighed as she stood up slowly. "I'm gonna make some coffee. Do you want a cup?"

"Sure," she smiled as she tried to stand up, promptly falling back into the chair. She reached out to Faith and they both laughed quietly as Faith pulled her up to her feet. "Maybe I did drink a little more than I thought I did."

"Yeah," Faith said softly as she wrapped her arms around Buffy's waist to keep her from falling back onto the chair. She took in a sharp breath and tried to control the shiver that ran down her spine as Buffy wrapped her arms around her and tried to steady herself. "Are you sure you're okay, B? Maybe you should just go to bed."

"Mm-hmm."

"Buffy?"

"Yeah?"

Faith took a deep breath as Buffy's fingers stroked the back of her neck lightly. Her mind was screaming 'not like this', but the rest of her knew what it wanted. She cursed to herself under her breath, wondering when she'd ever have control over her raging libido. All it ever took was a warm body pressed so close to her and that was it. She couldn't do that with Buffy. They were both drunk and she knew if Buffy remembered in the morning that things would be nothing short of awkward between them. There was even a possibility of Buffy really kicking her ass, kicking her out of the house, telling her she never wanted to see her again…and then there was the possibility that Buffy wanted this as much as she did. Their lips were so close that Faith could feel the warm breath every time Buffy breathed out.

She was lost in a trance, mesmerized by the way Buffy was staring into her eyes and the way she kept lightly stroking her fingers over the back of her neck. Her breathing was ragged as she struggled to control her urges. She couldn't. Not now, not like this. She dropped her arms from around Buffy with a heavy sigh and reached for Buffy's hands still around her neck and pulled them away. She wanted to say something. She knew she had to say something, anything, but the words were failing her as she saw the disappointment flicker in Buffy's eyes even in the darkness of the room.

"I can't do this."

"Do what?" Buffy asked, her voice barely above a whisper as she stared at Faith, her body swaying slightly as she tried to stay still. "You can't do what, Faith?"

"This," she said as she pointed to the space between them. "I can't do this, Buffy."

"Do what? Faith, I...tell me what you can't do because you lost me about five minutes ago."

"Five minutes ago I almost kissed you," she said under her breath as she headed for the kitchen, biting her lips suddenly and hoping to hell that Buffy hadn't heard her.

"You almost what?" Buffy asked as she followed her into the kitchen. "Faith..."

"What, Buffy? What do you want me to say? I can't fucking do this."

"Do _what_, Faith? What can't you do?"

"Are you serious? You realize what almost happened in there?"

"Yes."

"We're supposed to be _friends_, Buffy. Friends. Not...anything else."

"We are friends, aren't we? We're working on that, right?" Buffy asked as she moved closer to Faith, backing her up towards the wall near the fridge. "I'm not supposed to feel this way about you either."

"Feel what way?"

"Like I want you," she said softly, her eyes slowly meeting Faith's as Faith backed right up against the wall, feeling as if she was trapped. "Like I want to kiss you."

"This is just the alcohol talking, Buffy."

"What if it's not?"

"It is," Faith said shakily. "It has to be. No way in hell would you ever want me if you were sober."

She laughed in disbelief as Buffy stepped back from her. She knew she was right. She _had_ to be right. The alcohol was clouding Buffy's judgement, making her feel things she never normally felt before. Her heart was racing as Buffy stepped towards her again and reached for her hands. She was shaking too and her eyes were brimming with tears as Faith looked at her. She tried to come up with reasons why Buffy was acting this way aside from the alcohol. Maybe being lonely was getting to her, maybe she was just settling for what was there instead of finding something real with someone else.

"Buffy..." she whispered as she let go of her hands. "Don't do this. You're gonna wake up tomorrow and it's gonna go back to the way it was and you're gonna forget this. Don't fucking play this game, okay?"

"I'm not playing any games, Faith. I know it's...new for me to feel this way, but the last couple of days I just...I feel something different. I told myself when we left Sunnydale behind that I would stop running from the things that feel right, that feel real."

"This is not real."

"No?" Buffy raised an eyebrow was she stepped even closer to Faith, their bodies just inches apart. "Feels pretty real to me. Faith?" Buffy reached up and gently ran her fingers over her jaw, turning her head so she'd look at her. "Why are you afraid of this?"

"Cos, B. It's not gonna be like this tomorrow. This is just...a mistake. You're confused, you're lonely, and you're drunk. If this is how you really feel then we'll talk about this tomorrow and if it's not, we'll just forget about this, okay?"

Buffy shook her head as she stepped away slowly, turning her back to Faith as she wiped away the tears that fell. Faith felt the pang in her heart pull her down and she felt her own tears about to fall. She couldn't let this get to her. It was just a mistake. The alcohol was playing games with both of their feelings and Faith didn't want things to go this way. She couldn't let things go this way and ruin the friendship they were slowly building together.

No matter what she felt for Buffy and how much she did actually want her, she had to wait until they were sober and talked about it first. She was about to push herself off the wall when Buffy turned back to look at her and before she could even take a breath, Buffy's lips were on hers, kissing her so softly as if she was unsure. She didn't push Buffy away as she melted with the tender kiss. She just wrapped her arms around her and kissed her back in yearning.

Forgetting what consequences the next day might bring, Faith just let herself get lost in the kiss she'd never thought would happen between them.


	10. Chapter 10

Thunder rumbled loudly, shaking the house as the rain came down in buckets. Faith pulled the pillow over her head, trying to drown out the storm. It was far too early to be awake. Her internal clock told her it wasn't even five in the morning. With the second loud crack of thunder she pulled the pillow away from her head and tossed it to the side, sighing out loudly as she laid there and stared up at the ceiling.

The kiss had haunted her since she'd gone to bed. The feel of Buffy's lips and her insistent tongue was still there, just faintly. It caused an ache in her body, making her crave more. Never had a kiss made her feel so full before and that alone scared her. She was still convinced that when Buffy woke up she'd regret it; that she'd tell her it was just a mistake and would blame it on the alcohol. She wanted to feel angry with herself for allowing it to happen, for kissing Buffy back the way she had, but she couldn't when it had felt so right.

She sat up in bed and kicked off the sheets, the dampness of the storm making her room feel hotter than it normally did. She could already feel the small beads of sweat rolling down her back, making her uncomfortable and restless. Even as exhausted as she was, she knew that getting any more sleep would be next to impossible. She never slept well during storms, not for as long as she could remember. She closed her eyes as she heard a soft creak out in the hallway and footsteps descending the stairs. She knew it was Buffy as she could just feel her. Something about the kiss had intensified their connection. She'd felt it as soon as the alcohol had worn off just a few hours before and that alone scared her.

As soon as she could smell the fresh coffee brewing down in the kitchen, she got out of bed and pulled on the jeans she'd worn the night before along with a fresh t-shirt. She opened the door, jumping back at little when she saw Buffy standing there with two mugs of coffee in her hands.

"I thought you might have been awake already," Buffy said softly as she handed Faith a mug.

"Thanks," Faith said, walking over to sit on the unmade bed with a small smile on her face.

"I was hoping that maybe we could talk."

"About what?"

"About last night."

Buffy stood in the doorway as if she was unsure whether to come in or just stay where she was. After a long moment she stepped inside the room and slowly closed the door behind her, the soft click as the door shut sounding louder than it should have. Buffy looked over at her before opting to stand by the dresser, keeping some distance between them. Faith could feel a sense of nervousness coming from her and it made her feel nervous since it was the one thing she'd never felt coming from Buffy before. She was having trouble reading her too, as she always usually did, and she was unsure of what would happen once Buffy did start to talk.

Faith sipped her coffee slowly, trying to figure Buffy out. She knew she was nervous, that was a given, but there was something else there she couldn't quite put her finger on. Buffy kept looking over at her, but the instant their eyes would meet she'd quickly look away. Faith found herself staring intensely at her as she listened to the storm raging outside and the only thing she could think about now was the way Buffy had kissed her, the way Buffy's lips had felt upon her own. She'd kissed a lot of people before, but none of them had come close to the way it felt to be kissed by Buffy. It was forever burned in her memory and would now always be the first thing she thought of any time she so much as looked at the blonde.

"I don't even know where to start," Buffy said finally, her voice barely above a whisper. "I don't even really know what to say."

"Well, you did come in here to talk, didn't you? I'm sure you knew what you were going to say before you came in here."

"Last night was..."

"A mistake?" Faith finished for her, the words feeling sour as they rolled off her tongue. "It's cool, B. Mistakes happen."

"No," she said as she shook her head. "It wasn't a mistake. I've been lying awake all night trying to convince myself otherwise. I just...I don't understand what is happening between us, Faith. It's never been like this before."

As she chewed her bottom lip, waiting for Buffy to continue, Faith knew that for the duration of this conversation she'd be holding back a lot of things for the sake of their friendship—or at least for the sake of whatever was left of it. She was afraid to say anything right then, worried that whatever she said would come out entirely wrong. She shivered as another crack of thunder ripped through the sky and shook the house.

"Faith, last night I...I'm not going to blame it on being drunk," Buffy said quietly before lifting her mug and taking a sip of her coffee. "I keep asking myself why."

"And what answers have you come up with?"

"I really don't know. I feel so confused right now."

Faith sighed as she stood up from the bed and walked over to the window, opening it a crack to let in some fresh air. She leaned against the windowsill as she stared over at Buffy, wanting to tell her she felt just as confused, but she wasn't so sure how to get the words out. She could tell from the way Buffy spoke, the way her eyes darted around the room, and the tenseness in her body that she was having a hard time just talking to her about this.

"Look, B," Faith said, lowering her eyes to the mug she held with both hands as she tried to calm the rapid beating of her heart, "we don't have to talk about it if you don't feel comfortable."

"We need to talk about this. We _are_ talking about this."

"We've never been able to just talk about anything. What makes you think that talking about the fact that you kissed me last night is going to be any easier than just talking about general bullshit?"

"You kissed me back."

"I know I did. I shouldn't have."

"Why?"

"What what, B?"

"Why do you say that you shouldn't have kissed me back?"

Faith let out a deep breath, shaking her head as she turned to look out the window. "Cos it's ruining our friendship, Buffy. All I've ever wanted was to be friends with you, to be a part of your life. I fucked that up once already and I really don't want to go through all of that again."

She didn't have to look at Buffy to know that she had tears in her eyes. She could feel her own tears burning, threatening to fall, and she took in a few deep, shaky breaths as she tried to stop them from falling. She was opening herself up, letting down those walls she'd built so securely around herself, and she hated how vulnerable it made her feel. She hated that her heart was aching, disagreeing with everything she was thinking about. She hated that she couldn't even look at Buffy now, afraid of what she'd really see.

"It isn't," Buffy said softly as she walked over to her, approaching her tentatively as if she was afraid of how she would react. "Maybe talking about it so soon wasn't such a good idea."

"Maybe. I didn't expect you to want to talk about it at all, actually."

"You really don't know me, do you?"

"No, I don't."

"That's mostly my fault," Buffy laughed as she leaned against the windowsill next to Faith. "We don't know hardly anything about each other, so it's kind of a two-sided deal here."

"Can't expect to get to know someone overnight. Those things do take time."

"I know and I...what I wanted to say is...you've really changed, Faith."

"Not really."

"You have," Buffy smiled at her as she reached for her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. Before she could say anything else, thunder ripped through the sky and Buffy let go of her hand. The power flickered before going out and Buffy let out a frustrated groan. "Great."

"Not used to storms, are you?"

"Not anything like this, no."

Faith knew that their talk was over for the time being. She was relieved, as she'd never felt so damn nervous in her life. She wasn't a stranger to being nervous around Buffy, but after the kiss they shared it had just intensified ten-fold. They stood there side by side for a few long, quiet minutes that felt like hours before Buffy walked towards the bedroom door, stopping to look back at Faith for a moment before opening the door and walking out. Faith let out the breath she felt like she'd been holding for the last ten minutes and closed the window as the rain started to come inside.

She stayed up there alone for a while, thinking about what they'd talked about. It was nearly impossible for her to wrap her mind around the fact that Buffy didn't regret the kiss they shared. She really did expect her to flat out tell her it was a mistake before proceeding to kick her ass until she was nothing but a bloody pulp on the floor, wishing Buffy would just finish the job and kill her, put her out of her misery. She had to laugh at the over-dramatic thoughts she was having. Maybe she was stretching things too far from what they really were. If she was, she was only doing it because this whole thing scared her more than anything else had ever scared her in her life. This whole thing with Buffy, that underlying crush she'd had on her since the first time she met her, was growing into something more. She could just feel it.

There was no sense in trying to bury those feelings, especially not with them surfacing constantly with just one look. She finished off her coffee and headed downstairs, hoping to find a few minutes alone before everyone else woke up for the day. However, with the storm still raging and the thunder booming through the sky every other minute, she'd be amazed if nobody else was awake yet.

She stopped in the doorway to the kitchen as soon as she saw Buffy standing by the sink and staring out the window, body shaking slightly; a sure sign that she was crying. Unsure of what to do, she almost backed out of the kitchen, but Buffy suddenly wiped at the tears on her face before turning to look at her. She had a sinking feeling that maybe it was partly her fault that Buffy was upset, but she wasn't sure as to what she'd done.

"You okay?" Faith asked softly as she walked over to her. "B? What's wrong?"

"It's stupid," she said as she let out a choked sob before she turned her back again and gripped the edge of the counter near the sink. "It's nothing, Faith."

"You sure about that?"

"I think I'm just...that talk we had, it so didn't go the way I thought it would."

"And how'd ya think it'd go, B?"

"I told you, it's stupid. I don't even know why I'm so upset," she laughed coldly as she furiously wiped away the tears that streaked down her cheeks.

Faith smiled a little as she leaned against the counter next to her and playfully bumped her hip into Buffy's. "Tell me, B."

Before Buffy could say a word, Kennedy walked into the kitchen, grumbling under her breath how it was too damn early to be awake. Buffy stepped away from Faith, pouring herself another cup of coffee and motioning for Faith to put her mug down on the counter. Whatever Buffy was upset over specifically, it had to do with the talk they'd just had and she couldn't help but feel a little disappointed that they'd been interrupted. Buffy managed to compose herself enough for Kennedy not to notice she was upset and she walked out of the kitchen without a word or a glance at either of them.

Kennedy was still half-asleep as she fumbled in the cupboard for a mug and poured herself a cup of coffee. She looked over at Faith and raised an eyebrow as she hoisted herself up on the counter before taking a small sip of her coffee.

"I didn't interrupt anything, did I?"

"No."

"Looked like you two were having some intense conversation," Kennedy replied with a smirk that Faith wanted nothing more than to slap her for. "Oh, wait…you were being sarcastic, weren't you? It's way too early for that shit, Faith."

Faith chuckled as she turned to look out the window. "Damn, this storm doesn't look like it's gonna let up any time soon, huh?"

"And the master of changing the subject is..."

"Shut up, Ken."

"I've hit a nerve, haven't I?" Kennedy snickered as she shook her head. "You know, I'm only going to say it one more time—you and Buffy need to fuck that unresolved sexual tension out. You two won't be the only ones benefiting from it. The whole house will. You know I'm right, Faith. I'm always right about these things."

Faith ignored her, knowing it'd be better for her to do that than fuel Kennedy even more. Kennedy only laughed as she slid off the counter, winking at Faith as she headed out of the kitchen and left her in there alone. She just shook her head and headed for the living room to join the others as soon as she heard them all coming downstairs. She needed to tell Giles about the bartender from last night. Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out the card Henry given her and sat down in the chair next to the watcher.

"Found us a contact last night," she said to him as she handed the card over. "This man named Henry, his wife is the one who put up the barrier around the Hellmouth."

"Oh really?" Giles asked, his face registering surprise as he looked at the card. "Well, this is interesting. I am familiar with Henry—not first-hand, but rather though some colleagues of mine. His wife was once a very powerful witch. I was not aware he was still here. What has he told you?"

"That the vamps and demons can't leave. There's another barrier preventing them from leaving the city all together. His brother Sam helps them escape, or he used to, I don't know. I was getting bad vibes from the guy."

"Sam, that's right," Giles sighed. "How did you meet Henry?"

"Went out to a bar last night and he was there. I overheard him and Sam talking. He knew who we were."

"As would be expected. His wife is a powerful psychic as well. She would have seen us coming long before we actually left Sunnydale."

"So, are we gonna figure out why his wife placed the barrier around the Hellmouth, or do you already know why?" Faith asked, wanting to know and feeling a little disappointed that Giles already knew about Henry.

"The rumours have it that she cast the barrier nearly fifty years ago to diminish the amount of activity here. It had the desired effect, but it didn't actually _keep_ anything from coming or going; it merely diminished the Hellmouth's 'attraction', if you will. If what you say is true about nothing being able to leave the city, the spell has expanded on its own. We should be cautious about this situation. If there is such a barrier preventing those from leaving, I'm afraid that means you three will not be able to leave as well. This is going to cause a ripple effect of sorts."

"What kind of ripple effect?" Buffy asked as she joined them, sitting on the arm of Faith's chair. "Is it dangerous, Giles?"

"Not as far as I know, but there's still so much more that we need to know. From the looks of things, Henry and his wife are the only ones who can provide those answers. As soon as the power is back on, I will get in touch with them and set up a meeting."

"Giles?" Willow looked up from where she was sitting on the couch with a large book open in her lap. "This barrier wasn't just cast to keep the Hellmouth cloaked. It's been opened once before. By a Slayer…or a former Slayer."

Buffy looked down at Faith, her eyes wide as Faith barely flinched at the information. "By a Slayer? A rouge Slayer?" Buffy asked as she looked over at Willow.

"She was turned shortly after she arrived here to watch over the Hellmouth," Willow said as she flipped a few pages. "She's no longer around according to this book, but something seems off. It just says that she disappeared, not that she was killed."

"Henry said she'd been taken care of," Faith said softly. "He never said much else. He did say that the mystical barrier that's preventing the baddies from leaving only popped up around the city when we got here. You think it has something to do with us?"

"We can't know for sure," Giles said as he got up and pulled a few books off the shelves. "In the meantime, we'll need to research more about the Hellmouth here."

"B?" Faith smiled as she looked up at Buffy. "Want to go down and spar for a little while?"

"Sure," she smiled right back, knowing exactly what Faith was doing: namely, getting them out of having to research with the others. "Kennedy, are you coming?"

"Nah, I'm going to stay up here for awhile; you two go," she replied, winking at Faith as she took one of the books Giles handed to her.

Faith and Buffy headed downstairs, neither of them saying a word or barely even looking at one another as they walked down to the dark basement. Buffy just sat down on the bottom step and let out a soft sigh. Faith looked back at her, shrugging as she walked over to the mats and sat down. She knew they wouldn't actually spar as they said they would, but she had a funny feeling that their talk that had started and ended abruptly in the kitchen wouldn't continue unless she brought it up.

"What do you think the deal with Henry and his wife is?" Buffy asked her quietly, breaking the silence between them, but not the tension. "You didn't get any bad vibes from him last night, did you?"

"Only from his brother. Seems a little bit too shady."

"Yeah, I wouldn't know."

"Was just luck I overheard that conversation last night at the bar, B."

"I know. I should be concerned about this, but I'm not."

"No? How come?"

"Because all I can think about is last night and our talk," she replied quietly. "Faith, I really don't know how to feel right now, or what to even think. I feel like I'm losing it because all I can think about now is you. How stupid is that?"

"It ain't stupid."

"I just feel like I'm all over the place right now. I couldn't even sleep last night," Buffy said, her voice cracking slightly as she fought back the tears. "I'm getting upset over this, Faith! I don't know why it's getting to me."

"Probably cos you never thought something like that would happen," Faith replied with a shrug. "I told ya, B. It's not a big deal. It was just a kiss. It's not like we did anything else."

Faith knew that a kiss between the two of them was not just a kiss; it was a hell of a lot more. Buffy seemed to know that too and she couldn't blame her for being so distraught over it. She got up from the mats and sat next to Buffy on the steps.

"B, look at me," she said softly as she waited for Buffy to look over at her. "Things are really fucked up right now and I get why you kissed me. You've been lonely for way too long and you just wanted..."

"No, this has nothing to do with me being lonely."

"Okay," she frowned as she ran her hand through her hair. "Then why?"

"I don't know, I..."

Faith leaned in and lightly kissed her before she could say another word. She wasn't sure what made her want to do it, either, but she did. She'd never questioned herself with anyone else, but with Buffy it was different. It'd always be different and complicated. She pulled back from the chaste kiss after just seconds and looked into Buffy's eyes, seeing so much more than the desire she'd been seeing over the last couple of days. It scared her, but she shook it off and smiled a little at Buffy as she reached for her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"What was that for?"

"Trying to help you figure out why," Faith replied. "So, did it work?"

"Faith..." Buffy trailed off as she stared at her before lowering her head as the blush crept over her cheeks. "God, I feel like such a moron."

"Why, B?"

"Because I want more."

"More of what?" Faith asked, having a feeling what she meant, but needing to hear it for herself.

"Everything," Buffy whispered as she looked over at her and smiled shyly. "God, I've never...I've never done this before, but all I can think about is how much I want to be with you. It's crazy for me to feel this way, for way too many reasons too, isn't it?"

She wanted to tell Buffy it wasn't crazy, that it was okay to feel whatever she was feeling despite knowing that yes, it _was_ crazy for her to feel more than friendly feelings for her after all they'd gone through together. She licked her lower lip, debating whether to say anything. She barely took a breath before Buffy leaned in and kissed her softly, both of them sighing contentedly as their lips met. Faith was holding herself back, not wanting to dominate the kiss, allowing Buffy to take it however far, fast, or slow she wanted to. She almost felt like pinching herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming all of this, but she completely lost her train of thought as Buffy ran her tongue over her lips, waiting for Faith to take the offer to deepen the kiss.

They kissed for what felt like hours. It made Faith weak in the knees despite the fact that she was sitting down. She'd never quite been kissed that way, so tenderly, so deeply, and so full of passion. It had always been hard and fast with her in the past, but here with Buffy it was something else entirely.

"Oh god, what are we doing?" Buffy whispered as she broke away from the kiss, panting slightly as she tried to catch her breath.

"Ain't it obvious, B?" Faith said, unable to stop the smirk from creeping over her lips as Buffy pulled her in for another kiss.

Faith had that lingering feeling that everything would come crashing down and end rather badly between them, but it didn't stop her from kissing Buffy with everything that she had. Her hands were aching to roam over Buffy's body, to feel her soft skin beneath her fingertips, but she knew that was one step too far too fast, not just for Buffy but also for herself. Faith pulled back from the kiss, licking over her kiss-swollen lips as she smiled at Buffy.

"Okay wow," Buffy laughed softly. "That was even better than last night."

"Yeah? You still don't know _why_, do you?"

"No," Buffy grinned, looking a little more confident and sure of herself as she ran her fingers over Faith's thigh slowly. "Maybe we could...do it again?"

"I'm not gonna say no to that, B, but don't you think we should try and figure out what's going on between us before we..."

"I don't know what's going on between us," Buffy said, cutting her off. "I just know that after that kiss, it just felt right. That's why it feels so crazy to me because it feels right to kiss you. It feels like..."

She stopped when the basement door opened and Faith groaned in frustration as Kennedy came down the stairs. One of these days she was going to end up hurting Kennedy for interrupting her and Buffy when they were having a moment together. She just forced a smile as Kennedy sat on the steps behind them and groaned softly.

"Research is so fucking boring," she muttered as she looked down at them. "I should've just come down with you two before. I want to gouge my eyes out."

Faith chuckled as she looked over at Buffy, who did not look pleased that they'd been interrupted yet again. They sat down there in complete silence for a while before going back upstairs to join the others with hopes that they wouldn't be forced into researching with them. The power was back on by then even though the storm was still raging outside. Giles told them as soon as they'd joined everyone in the living room that he'd gotten in touch with Henry and that he and his wife would be coming for dinner that night.

Faith ended up going out on the front porch alone, standing by the railing and watching the storm as it raged on overhead. She felt like she was floating from that kiss she'd had down in the basement with Buffy. It had never felt like that for her before and her mind was swimming, questioning why it hadn't. She kept asking herself how Buffy could suddenly have these feelings for her, why she even wanted to kiss her—and wondering just what Buffy had meant when she said she wanted everything.

She had what felt like a permanent smile etched over her lips and she couldn't quite shake it. Buffy was right when she said that it felt right to kiss her. She'd felt the same thing too. Now she was starting to see why Buffy thought it was so crazy to feel this way. They'd never had these types of feelings for each other before and there was more than just a friendship building between them—so much more. As much as it scared Faith to think of what more it could turn out to be, she could feel the hope building in her that it'd be something neither of them had ever experienced before with anyone else.

There only was one thing she was afraid of—the fact that she _knew_ she'd end up hurting Buffy when she couldn't give Buffy everything she wanted. It was different than it had been when Robin was still alive. He didn't intimidate her with the prospect of a relationship. With Buffy she was scared shitless because it was _Buffy_.

"Did you want to be alone?" Buffy asked softly as she stood in the open doorway.

"Nah, I was just thinking and watching the storm."

"Thinking about what?"

"You."

"Oh."

"Nothing bad, B," Faith chuckled softly as Buffy stood next to her. "Kind of know now how you've been feeling cos I'm feeling it too."

"Downstairs, before Kennedy came down, I was going to say how this feels so fast and how it's just...how we've kind of just jumped headfirst into the unknown since last night. I'm scared of what I'm feeling, Faith. I'm really scared."

"I am too," she whispered softly, keeping her eyes up on the sky above as the lightning crawled over the black clouds in the sky.

"This is..."

"Crazy, I know, right?" Faith chuckled as she casually reached for Buffy's hand and intertwined their fingers as if it was the most natural thing in the world for her to do. "Where do we go from here, B?"

"I really don't know."

"Shit," she muttered under her breath. "I have no idea either. Never been through something like this before. You're honestly the last person I ever thought I'd..."

"You'd what?"

"Have a chance with," she finished under her breath, not daring to look over at Buffy as she spoke to see her reaction. She didn't need to look at her to know that she was smiling. She could just _feel_ it. "I don't know what you want from me, Buffy, and that's what scares me the most…not knowing that. I don't know what I can offer you that nobody else can. I've never...done this before."

"Done what exactly?"

"This," Faith said as she motioned between them, still not looking at Buffy. "Whatever _this_ is, I've never done it before."

"Oh."

"So tell me, Buffy, what is it that you want from me?"

"I really don't know, Faith."

Faith let out an exasperated sigh as she looked down at their still-joined hands. She smiled a little to herself as she lifted Buffy's hand and placed a gentle kiss upon it as she turned to look at her. Her heart felt like it leapt into her throat as she tried to find the right words to say. She'd never been good at saying the right thing, but she wanted to try. She _had_ to try.

"Whatever is happening between us, maybe we should just let it happen and see where it takes us?" Faith's voice was shaky, but as the words came out she knew she was sure of them.

"I can deal with that."

"This is just fuckin' crazy, Buffy. I just can't seem to wrap my head around this whole thing. How the hell did this happen?"

"I don't know. I've been asking myself that since last night. Maybe it's all the time we've been spending together since we left Sunnydale? We never spent this much time together before."

"We've never gone this long without fighting, either. You don't think this is a sign of an apocalypse coming, do you?" Faith chuckled softly. Buffy just gave her a look before she laughed along with her.

"I really hope you aren't right, Faith. We just had one hell of a fight against the First. I don't think I'm ready for another one just yet."

"I don't think any of us are."

"So," Buffy breathed out softly, "we're just going to let this happen? How do we do that?"

"I really don't know. Shit, this is one of those things you wish you had the answers to, yet you know that you won't get the answers if you look too hard for them. I'm really starting to feel like I've stepped into another dimension where this," she said as she looked down at their joined hands, "happens all the time, like it's the most perfectly natural thing in the world to happen to us."

"Maybe it is and we've done nothing but fight it and deny it all this time?"

Faith blinked, not sure if she was hearing what Buffy was actually saying or if she was just hearing what she wanted to hear. She couldn't get over how much everything had just changed between them virtually overnight. In her world, things like that never happened to her. _Ever_.

They stayed out there and watched the storm together until mid-afternoon, when the last of it finally passed them by. No other words were said, only small, shy smiles exchanged whenever they looked at each other at the same time. Faith kept fighting that urge to kiss her again, wanting for once in her life to take things slow. The last thing she wanted was for them to pursue whatever _was_ unfolding between them and for her to end up breaking Buffy's heart. Nobody had ever made her feel this way and never had she been so worried about hurting anyone else that way, either. The changes she was going through, what Buffy was going through—it was all happening so fast and she wanted to take a giant step back before they were in so far, so deep, that they couldn't pull themselves out.

After a long, lazy afternoon, they all ended up in the kitchen cooking dinner for Henry and his wife. Giles was rather excited to meet the man and Faith couldn't blame him. They needed contacts there in Cleveland that knew the workings of the underground and where to go to find out vital information. They couldn't rely on research or what was left of the Council, that being essentially a bare handful of Watchers even Giles suspected weren't entirely on the good side of things.

Those long, lingering gazes and small, shy smiles continued between her and Buffy up until Henry and his wife showed up at the door promptly at six o'clock as planned. She ended up in the kitchen with Xander and Kennedy, sipping on a cold beer and listening to the rapid conversation unfolding in the living room. Giles and Henry did most of the talking, sharing stories and making plans to have Henry be a part of a weekly meeting between all of them. Kennedy just rolled her eyes and grabbed another beer out of the fridge, shaking her head in disbelief as she joined Faith where she sat on top of the counter.

"How the hell do we know we can trust this guy?" Kennedy asked as she twisted off the cap and took a sip. "Seriously. We just met the guy and Giles is all buddy-buddy with him?"

"Just give the guy the benefit of the doubt 'til he gives us a reason not to trust him," Faith replied quietly as she picked at the label on her bottle. "He knows a lot of things any mere _normal_ human being wouldn't or shouldn't know."

"Whatever. I still say we shouldn't trust the guy until he gives us a damn good reason to."

"Is that the way you are around everyone you just met?" Xander asked Kennedy as he walked up to stand in front of them, staring at both of them for a moment before he let out a heavy sigh. "Maybe you are right, Ken. Maybe we shouldn't trust him until he gives us a reason to. The others don't seem to think that way."

Faith was torn, not knowing how to feel about Henry and his wife Laura. From the bits of the conversation she could hear, they were just an old, sweet couple who had lived their whole lives there in Cleveland, always knowing about the creatures that went bump in the night and lurked behind every dark corner. Willow and Laura were talking spells, as expected, and she could hear the excitement in Willow's voice when Laura told her she'd teach her more than she ever thought she'd be able to know.

Whether they could trust them or not, they seemed to have the potential to fit easily into the tightly knit group they had formed since they arrived there. Despite all the little circumstances and the things that were unfolding—not just between her and Buffy, but also with the Hellmouth and everything related to it—things were going rather good. It made her feel restless because she knew that whenever things were going good, something bad was bound to happen eventually.

And she had that sinking feeling she couldn't shake off that their luck was definitely about to run out.


	11. Chapter 11

Faith was quickly becoming used to being the first one awake so early in the morning. She'd never been a morning person, nor had she ever gotten into the habit of sleeping for a few short hours then waking up to start the day before the sun barely peaked over the horizon. With so much going on, with the Hellmouth, with Henry and his wife, and then with Buffy, her mind was always going, never stopping long enough to allow her to get more than a few short hours of sleep at a time. It was starting to show, the fatigue. The dark circles under her eyes and just the way she walked, feeling sluggish and not quite with it.

She'd gone all day without spending a moment alone with Buffy. She was okay with that. They both needed space and some time to figure out just what had transpired between them over the last day and night. She'd spent a lot of time throughout the day down in the basement pummelling the heavy bag repeatedly until her whole body ached. The whole time she kept trying to piece together how everything happened between her and Buffy, how they ended up where they were now.

She knew she shouldn't be worried about her relationship with Buffy when there really wasn't anything going on. So they'd kissed a few times; in her head that did not equal any kind of a relationship. They were barely even friends. Well, they were friends, but her friendship with Buffy wasn't the same as the one she had with Kennedy, or even Xander. It was just easier with Kennedy and Xander, the banter that flowed between the three of them was completely natural and effortless. She felt comfortable around Kennedy and she felt like she could truly be herself around her without worrying about rubbing her the wrong way. It was the same with Xander despite their own little bit of rough history together.

Dawn hadn't been around much, always off doing her own thing somewhere. Faith hadn't really noticed her absence, but she'd overheard Dawn and Buffy talking that morning about her going to summer school to catch up before the fall. She figured that Dawn, since she hardly spent any time at the house, was off trying to make friends in the city, trying to start over with her life just as they all were.

The thing with Henry and his wife was starting to bother her despite her initial ease with it. Giles and Henry had spent nearly the entire morning going over the books that had been there at the house when they all arrived. Even over the sounds of her fists hitting the leather and the music that played classic rock, she could hear the two of them discussing volumes of books one had that the other did not. She still wasn't getting any bad vibes _per se_ from Henry; he was sweet and he did know a lot about the Hellmouth and the history surrounding it, at least the history of it for the past nearly seventy years. Still, sometime around mid-morning she'd begun to have nagging little doubts, feeling as if there was something off about him that she couldn't quite put her finger on.

She found herself lured upstairs at the first whiff of the super-intoxicating aroma of steaks cooking on a barbecue. She walked through the kitchen, where Dawn, Willow, and Buffy were throwing together a summer salad, and headed right out back. Xander was manning the barbecue, accompanied by Giles and Andrew, as Kennedy stood nearby with beer in hand. Kennedy motioned to the cooler on the patio and Faith helped herself to a cold beer, smiling as she leaned against the side of the house.

"When did you get that?"

"This?" Xander asked, smiling over at her as he motioned to Giles. "Convinced him we needed one and Henry hooked us up with a deal. Who knew the guy had so many worthy connections? How do you like your steak cooked, Faith?"

"Medium rare," she replied with a smile as Kennedy moved to stand next to her.

"Nice workout?"

"Great."

"You were down there all day," Kennedy said as she pointed out the obvious. "How come?"

"Just felt like it," she replied with a shrug. "Sometimes I gotta get lost in my own world and that's the only way I know how to do it."

"Giles invited Henry and his wife for dinner. Apparently they have a daughter," Kennedy said quietly as she rolled her eyes. "She's our age. Didn't catch a name when Henry was talking about her. She's also a witch like her mother."

"Oh really?"

"That's what I've heard. Guess we'll find out as soon as they get here," Kennedy replied just as the back gate opened and Henry walked through. "Which would be right about now. Talk about timing, huh?"

Faith looked over at the gate and her eyes went wide in shock as she saw Julie walk in behind Henry and his wife. The only thing she thought of as Julie looked over at her was 'oh shit'. She never planned to see her again unless she went to the club and she just happened to be working that night. She drank back nearly all of her beer as Julie followed Henry and Laura over to greet them. Julie only flashed Faith a sweet smile as Giles made quick introductions.

Kennedy recognized her yet didn't say a word as she offered to take her inside to meet the others. Faith was trying to figure out why she didn't figure out that Julie could possibly be related to Henry and Laura. She looked so much like Laura with the long brown hair and striking green eyes and to see them side by side, the similarities were uncanny. She tried not to act as if she was freaking out and thinking of the worst that could come out of this whole situation. She calmed herself down a little as she got another beer out of the cooler and went to sit down at the picnic table to have a cigarette.

She could hear the laughter coming from inside the house and something about it just made her skin crawl. It wasn't jealousy—that much she was certain of—but there was something there that definitely felt off to her. She cursed silently to herself, wondering why she even thought she could trust Henry in the first place. Maybe it was the honesty he showed that night in the bar, the softness in his eyes, or the easy, carefree laugh he had. Whatever it was, she just couldn't figure it out, she couldn't figure _him_ out. She rubbed her forehead in frustration, trying to quiet the thoughts in her head for a couple of much needed minutes of peace and quiet.

"So," Julie said as she walked over to the picnic table and sat down next to Faith, "you don't call for round three. I'm hurt."

"Yeah, whatever."

"I get it. One night stand. You came back for seconds and that was that," she said coldly as she rolled her eyes. "And don't worry, your _friends_ don't know unless you've told them."

"Did you want something?" Faith asked, trying not to let Julie get to her. "Cos if you didn't want something and all you wanted was to come and try to fuck with my head, then," she sighed as she motioned for her to leave, "I'd appreciate it if ya just left me the fuck alone."

"Harsh," Julie laughed. "I wasn't coming to fuck with your head. Look, my father told me to play nice since he honestly believes we can all help each other out here. I'm more than willing to look past what happened between us for him."

Faith took a long drag of her cigarette and stared at Julie long and hard. She saw too much of herself in her, that cocky arrogance she usually had but had lost somewhere along the way. She saw the confidence in Julie, the same confidence she'd been lacking lately. When Julie lightly ran her fingers over her arm, she felt the goose bumps form in their wake. She wanted to slap Julie's hand away, tell her she wasn't interested, but her body was reacting and stopping her from saying a word.

"I was really hoping you'd call again, Faith."

"Not one to..."

"It might have been a quick fuck the last time, but damn it makes me so hot just thinking about it. I have to say I was quite surprised to see you here. You were the last person I thought I'd see today."

"Julie..." Faith trailed off as she turned to look at the others near the house. "Stop."

"Why? Nobody is paying a speck of attention to us, Faith."

"That's not the fucking point," she said sharply as she stared at her. "I'm not interested, Julie."

"Can't blame a girl for trying, can you?" Julie chuckled as she raked her nailed over Faith's lower arm before she pulled her hand away. "If you ever want a repeat, maybe something with James and me again..."

"I told ya," Faith said through clenched teeth, "I'm not interested."

"Okay," Julie smirked as she moved down the bench a little to give the two some more space. "I'm not one to beg, nor am I one to cling. You know what you want, Faith, and once you give in to it, you know where to find me."

"You can't give me what I want," she said under her breath as she took one last drag of her cigarette and dropped it in the empty pop can near her feet.

"Oh no? You got a thing for that brunette—Kennedy, was that her name?"

"No."

"The redhead?"

"Fuck no," Faith said, unable to stop the laugh that came out.

"What about the other one, the blonde? Buffy?" A crude smile formed on Julie's lips as Faith shot her a glare that warned her to back off. "She really doesn't seem your type, Faith."

"You don't know me so where the fuck do you get off telling me what my type is?"

"Just calling it how I see it," Julie smirked as she ran her fingers through her hair. "You fuck her yet?"

"No. Not like that's any of your fucking business."

"Are you going to fuck her?"

"Fuck you."

"You already did. Twice."

Faith clenched her fists in her lap, breathing heavily as she struggled to control her anger. Over and over again she was telling herself that somehow Julie knew how to push her buttons and that was exactly what she was trying to do. Just before she could say anything, Kennedy walked over and sat down across the table, placing a bottle of beer in front of each them. Faith let out a sigh of relief, not knowing how much more she could have taken of the head games Julie was trying to play with her. As soon as Julie excused herself and went to join her parents in the discussion they were having with Giles, Kennedy leaned forward and motioned for Faith to lean in.

"What the hell is she doing here?"

"She's their daughter," Faith shrugged. "Fuck if I knew that."

"This is crazy," Kennedy muttered as she peered over Faith's shoulder to look at Julie. "You do realize she's a pretty powerful witch, don't you?"

"Yeah, I got the memo."

"Better not fuck around with her anymore, Faith. Who knows what she'll end up doing."

"You mean besides the fucking head games she was just trying to play?" Faith asked, rolling her eyes as she leaned back and took a sip of her beer. "When the hell did everything become so fucked up?"

"What do you mean?"

"With the Hellmouth, with Henry, with Julie, with Buffy...with fucking everything!"

"You didn't feel this coming, did you?" Kennedy asked, tittering when Faith shook her head no. "You thought all you felt when we were on our way here was the evil, right? Well, Will said it was so much more than the evil we could feel. It's kind of like...not really psychic, but we could feel the changes that were about to happen."

"This is the kind of stuff I just don't understand sometimes, Ken. Just for once I want things to be simple. Fat chance in hell anything is ever gonna be simple for any of us though."

"You aren't going through this alone, just keep that in mind," Kennedy said softly, offering her a smile to try to break the tension Faith was feeling. "Don't let that little bitch get to you, okay? So you fucked her, doesn't mean she can fuck _with_ you, right?"

"Right."

"Besides, if she tries fucking with you again, her ass is gonna meet my foot," Kennedy laughed as Faith laughed right along with her. "Serious, Faith. Nobody fucks with my friends and gets away with it."

She'd known from that night after the fight against the First that she and Kennedy would become close friends. Their lives to that point couldn't have been more different, but their attitudes were so perfectly matched that it was impossible for them not to get along. She could only smile at Kennedy, nodding her head with a silent thank you for her wanting to take a stand against anyone who wanted to try to fuck with her. She'd never had friends like that before. She'd never had friends at all, really. She'd missed out on all those times people had tried to be more than just an acquaintance or a fuck buddy to her, but she didn't want to dwell on the past for any longer than was necessary.

They enjoyed the quiet alone together until everyone joined them around the picnic table. Seating was an issue, so as soon as Faith had gotten herself a plate of food she went to sit under the tree with Kennedy and Xander. She caught Buffy looking over at her, clearly debating whether to sit at the table with the others or join them under the tree. Faith motioned for her to come over to join them, and she watched as Buffy furrowed her brow, still thinking, before she picked up her plate from the table and walked over to sit down with them on the grass.

"We're all heading out to the bar later," Xander said to Buffy as she picked at the food on her plate. "Are you coming with us?"

"Sure," she smiled as she looked over at Faith. "I just don't want to drink too much tonight. I'm afraid I'll end up becoming a raging alcoholic if we keep this up. I never drink, ever, yet the past couple of weeks I've done nothing but drink with you guys."

"So have a diet Coke or whatever," Faith muttered under her breath. "You are missing out on the whole point of this drinking thing anyway, B. It's bonding. We're all bonding."

"Over alcohol?"

"Why not? Loosens the tongue, breaks the tension," Faith shrugged in reply and she lifted her beer bottle and clinked it against Xander's and then Kennedy's. "It's all about relaxing and having some fun, B. Don't worry, we won't let you become a raging alcoholic."

"Who all is going out tonight?" Buffy asked as she still only moved her food around on the plate, not having taken a single bite yet.

"Just the four of us," Xander replied with a mouthful of food. "Will has plans with Julie. They're going to bond over magic or whatever. Oh! And you know what the best part about going out to Henry's bar is?"

"No, what?" Buffy asked, feigning interest yet unable to keep her eyes from wandering over to meet with Faith's.

"Free drinks all night long," Xander beamed as he and Kennedy gave each other a high five.

"What about patrol?"

"What about it, B? Giles told us it'd be better not to be out there every night after what he and Henry discussed. The less we're seen, the more we'll bag on nights we're actually out there. Gotta admit, though, the nights we have been out have been fucking boring," Faith chuckled as she licked over her lips, watching Buffy watching her and unable to keep the smile away.

"Right," Buffy said softly as she broke the rather intense gaze to look down at the plate of food in her lap. "Why are we even eating outside?"

"Summer barbecue tradition, plus it's a beautiful day," Xander said rather too cheerfully. "Better get used to it, Buff. Got a funny feeling we'll be doing this all summer long."

Faith couldn't help but study her reaction. She didn't look too into it, which was understandable seeing how she wasn't used to such 'tradition' at all. It made her realize just how much she and Buffy had missed out on since becoming Slayers. The weight of the world on one's shoulders was a burden that made living a normal life next to impossible. Faith had figured with all the Slayers in the world now that things wouldn't be the same as they'd always been. Sure there'd been small changes, but they seemed almost unnoticeable and frankly she wanted more—she needed more—and she could see that was what Buffy was longing for as well.

"You gonna eat or are you gonna sit there and play with your food, B?" Faith joked as she nudged Buffy's leg with her foot. Buffy shot her a look, laughing as she flipped her off.

"Shut up, Faith. I'm not that hungry."

"I was just joshin' with ya."

"I know."

Faith caught the look Kennedy shot her way, a mix of confusion and surprise at the easy and playful banter between her and Buffy. They finished off their food without much further talk and Xander offered to take their empty plates—and Buffy's plate with her still-untouched food—back inside for them. Faith stretched out on the grass as the late afternoon sun poked through the leaves on the tree. It was relaxing to find a moment like this, as they had always been so few and far between as to practically not exist.

Everyone went inside for drinks and to talk without getting eaten alive by the mosquitoes that were sure to appear as the evening turned to night. Buffy stayed out there with Faith and Kennedy, sighing softly as she lay back on the grass and stared up at the sky. Faith looked over at Kennedy, who winked at her in understanding before rising to go inside, giving the two some time alone. Faith couldn't help but smile to herself as she propped her head up on her elbow and stared over at Buffy, really allowing herself just to look at her. She'd always thought Buffy was beautiful, but in the late afternoon sunlight and with the way it streamed through the leaves on the trees around them, she was breathtaking. She wanted to tell her but she held it back, unsure how her honest words would make Buffy feel.

"What?" Buffy asked, smiling as she turned to look at Faith.

"Nothing."

"You are staring."

"Does it bother you?"

"No," she replied, blushing a little as she turned onto her side to face Faith more fully. "Why?"

"Why what, B? Faith asked, feigning ignorance as a teasing smile curled over her lips.

"Why are you staring at me?"

"Cos I felt like it?"

Buffy laughed as she playfully kicked Faith in the leg. "Honestly?"

"Cos you're fucking beautiful," she said under her breath, feeling her own cheeks flush a deep red.

"You think I'm beautiful?"

"Yeah," she smiled at her shyly, watching Buffy's eyes sparkle with delight as she returned the smile. "What, ya got a problem with what I think about you, B?"

"No. I just...I never expected to hear you say that to me."

Faith picked at the grass in front of her, her eyes lingering on the ground in front of her, finding the situation awkward and strangely feeling right at the same time. Buffy reached for her hand while moving closer to her and Faith was honestly surprised she didn't flinch at the touch; feeling so off-balance had instantly made her jittery. She lifted her eyes to find Buffy staring at her intensely, their lips now mere inches apart as they both lay there on their sides.

"What're ya doing, B?"

"I don't know…I..." she sighed out as she laughed nervously. "How come you were avoiding me all day?"

"I wasn't avoiding you."

"Okay," Buffy said slowly as she raised an eyebrow. "You are driving me completely crazy. You do know that, right?"

"Oh yeah? How?"

"The way you keep looking at me," Buffy whispered as she ran her thumb over Faith's and smiled that half smile of hers that had always made Faith a little weak in the knees. "I just realized that you've always looked at me that way."

"What way?"

"Like you want me."

"That's news now?"

"That's a fact now," Buffy chuckled quietly as she licked over her lips. "I was just clarifying it to make sure I wasn't just imagining it."

She had to wonder if Buffy was acting like this because Julie was there. She wanted to ask her, but she decided against it as Buffy moved even closer to her, looking at her as if she was a little unsure of what she was about to do next. Faith leaned forward that last little bit, pressing her lips ever so softly against Buffy's, smiling when she felt Buffy smile a little against her lips too. She kept it light and rather chaste and she pulled back, trying not to act like the cat that just got the cream as she waited for Buffy to open her eyes. Just before she did, Faith leaned in to kiss her again, straying from a simple, light kiss to something a little more sensual, something a little deeper and more insistent.

She let go of Buffy's hand, smiling into the kiss as Buffy ran her fingers through her hair and pulled her in closer to deepen the kiss. She ignored the voices in her head telling her to stop, to take it slow, and she ran her hand over Buffy's stomach, waiting for her to stop her. When Buffy did nothing to stop her hand from sliding under her shirt, she began to slowly trail a blazing path upwards. She stopped only when the tips of her fingers brushed against the edges of Buffy's bra and she waited again to see if Buffy would stop her. She was so into the kiss as she gently cupped Buffy's breast, feeling the nipple harden beneath her palm that she didn't pay attention to the soft protests coming from Buffy for her to stop.

"Faith..." Buffy groaned as she stopped her from trying to kiss her again and yanked her hand from under her shirt. "That's...too far too fast."

"Shit," she sighed as she sat up and brushed off the grass and dirt from her clothes. "Sorry, B. I was just...into it."

Buffy nodded her head, blushing a little as she sat up and moved to sit next to Faith as they both leaned against the tree. "Don't be sorry," Buffy said softly as she turned to look at her. "It was...nice."

Faith chuckled, biting her lip from saying something stupid to Buffy and making her more flustered than she already was. She had to remember this was Buffy, that things weren't just going to jump forward and she'd end up in bed with her just like that. This was Buffy and even she knew that Buffy didn't just jump into bed with anyone, Spike being the possible exception to that rule. But she wanted more than just a night fucking her until she couldn't walk straight. She wanted everything if she could have it, despite _everything_ scaring the shit out of her.

She wanted it to be easier just to talk to Buffy, but it'd take time. She was never one to voice her thoughts no matter what she was thinking about. She didn't know why she felt like a flustered teenager sitting there next to Buffy. She'd never been this way before, always exuding self-confidence no matter what situation she found herself in. It was always going to be different around Buffy. She had to tread those waters carefully and if she couldn't, she'd end up right back at the beginning with no way back to where they'd made it now.

"It's funny," Buffy said softly as she broke the silence between them, "I never thought you and I would end up this way."

"Me neither."

"I wasn't finished," she sighed as she shook her head slowly in disbelief. Faith muttered a soft apology and waited for her to continue. "Whatever is happening between us, it feels...real and different and it's making me scared not knowing where this is going. I thought before we came here that it'd be like it was before with us. But," she took a deep breath as she looked at Faith and smiled, "it's not the way it was before, obviously. I have no feelings of malice towards you. That all kind of disappeared when we left Sunnydale behind."

"Yeah? So what, you love me now?" Faith teased as she poked Buffy in the thigh. "You do, don't ya? You _love_ me now."

"I wouldn't go that far just yet."

"So," Faith said as she let Buffy casually take her hand. "What does all this mean then, B?"

"Do we have to put a meaning to it right now?"

"Nah, I'm just curious is all."

"Curiosity killed the cat, Faith," Buffy winked as she chuckled quietly under her breath.

"You trying to confuse me too?"

"I think you already managed to confuse me."

Faith raised an eyebrow as she stared at her, holding back her laugh as she saw a mix of unknown emotions and thoughts in Buffy's eyes. She didn't bother to keep from smirking as she saw Buffy flush a little. Whatever she was thinking was getting her hot and Faith had never seen her so unguarded before.

Just when she thought they'd actually get somewhere with this conversation, or the lack of it so far, Kennedy came outside with a bottle of wine and three glasses. Faith was certain Buffy would move away from her, but instead she took the offered glass of wine from Kennedy once she'd poured her some and stayed right where she was. The sun was quickly falling beyond the horizon and it was quiet aside from the sounds of laughter coming from inside the house. Faith took a glass of wine for herself and took a tentative sip. She'd never been one to drink much wine, but found it pleasingly tasty.

"We're staying in tonight instead of going out," Kennedy said as she stared down into her own wine glass, looking rather bored out of her mind. "Willow and Julie are talking spells with Laura. It's fucking boring when you have no idea what they're talking about."

"I bet," Faith chuckled as she took another sip. "Does Xander know we're staying in?"

"Yeah. He's gone to the store with Andrew to pick up some beer and a few more bottles of wine. Oh, and Buffy," Kennedy said as she looked over at her, "don't be mad, but Giles let Dawn have a glass of wine with them inside. Something about how it was okay to have one glass with adults around."

Buffy only shrugged and rolled her eyes, not caring in the least about Dawn or anything else really. Faith could feel her trying to relax and she could hear the steady beat of her heart as she breathed in deep and slow. Faith kicked off her boots as she stretched out her legs, trying to get comfortable sitting on the hard grass with her back up against the rough bark of the tree. She dug her cigarettes out of her pocket and offered Kennedy one before she lit one for herself.

"Why do you smoke?" Buffy asked them both softly, though the question was aimed more at Faith. "It's disgusting."

"Just a bad habit I picked up, B. It relaxes me."

"Oh."

"Does it bother you?"

"No," she said quickly as she shook her head. "Just curious, really. And since when do you smoke, Kennedy?"

"Since always. Just smoke here and there. It's not like I'm a slave to the nicotine addiction like some people," Kennedy said as she looked right at Faith and gave her a playful wink. "Willow doesn't like it when I smoke either, but right now I could give a half shit what she thinks."

"Trouble in paradise, Ken?" Faith asked, trying not to laugh when Buffy poked her rather hard in the thigh.

"Yeah. Her name is Julie. Stupid fucking bitch," Kennedy muttered under her breath. "I'm over it, honestly. Will won't do anything with her. At least I _hope_ she won't."

"She won't," Buffy assured her. "She isn't a cheater. You don't have to worry about anything happening."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Buffy. Wish I could actually believe it. You saw the way they were talking earlier. It makes me a little nervous to leave them alone."

"So then why are you out here?" Faith asked, unable to bite her tongue like she knew she should have. "Shouldn't you be inside making sure that Julie doesn't try to make the moves on your woman?"

"Like I said," Kennedy said, sounding rather annoyed as she glared at Faith, "it's fucking boring sitting there listening to the two of them talk about shit I don't know anything about."

"Tell me about it," Faith and Buffy both said together and the three of them burst out into nearly uncontrollable laughter.

Maybe it was the wine or the relaxing time they were having out in the back, sitting on the grass under the tree, or maybe it was something else. Whatever it was, it made Faith feel at ease, feel as if she really was home and that she was where she belonged. Things with Buffy were complicated at best, but not the usual complicated she'd grown so used to having over the years with her. It was a different kind of complicated. The type of complicated that just gnawed at her mind every second of the day and asked so many questions that would never be answered if she didn't ask anyone other than herself. She knew, though, that if Kennedy hadn't come outside when she did, she might have been able to open up a little and be a little more verbal with her thoughts to Buffy.

She listened to Buffy and Kennedy discuss a more practical training schedule that would work out better for all of them. She never once took her eyes off Buffy and even though she was listening, she wasn't really hearing the words. The wine was definitely getting to her head as she trailed a finger over the top of the glass and found herself completely mesmerized by the animated way Buffy spoke. She knew she'd been doing that a lot without realizing it, just staring at Buffy and trying to figure her out.

She finished off her glass of wine and leaned her head against the tree as she closed her eyes, trying to stop the world from spinning around her. It wasn't just the wine that had sent her on a tailspin; it was hearing Buffy speak and having the fresh memories of that kiss in her mind. It was just a kiss and even though she'd tried to take it that one step further, she was somewhat relieved that Buffy had stopped anything more from happening. Her self-control was fleeting, especially once she was in the zone, but she had to be different for Buffy. She _had_ to.

Bits of the conversation she'd had with Robin came back to her. He had wanted to prove that he could be different for her while at the same time having her prove to herself that life wasn't all just about getting some and getting gone. She realized now she didn't need him to help her prove that to herself. She had Buffy whether Buffy knew it or not. She opened her eyes again when she felt Buffy's warm hand casually rest on her thigh and she could only smile a little as Kennedy reached over and topped up her glass.

"I'm gonna get another bottle, you guys want red or white this time?"

"Whatever, Ken," Faith said as she shrugged her shoulders. "Doesn't matter to me. Feeling buzzed already. Everything is gonna taste the same."

"It's not," Buffy said softly, laughing as she leaned into Faith and shook her head. "Is it just me or is it getting a little cold outside?"

"Cooling off a bit. You wanna go inside?"

"No," Buffy said as she looked up at Faith with a smile. "I'm good right where I am."

Her words were a little slurred, but Faith knew she wasn't beyond the point where she was too drunk. Faith kept feeling the need to pinch herself to make sure she hadn't fallen into some weird dream where everything felt real. Kennedy just winked at her as she grabbed the empty bottle and headed up to the house. She looked down at Buffy as soon as Kennedy had disappeared inside, gently lifting her chin to plant a soft kiss on her lips, catching her slightly off-guard.

It was too easy to melt into the kiss, to savour those seconds that ticked by as Buffy let her kiss her. She kept it light, fighting off that urge to deepen the kiss, fighting that urge to claim her with just a kiss. She was floating as she pulled back slowly, smiling as Buffy looked at her, her eyes slightly glazed over both from the kiss and the wine she'd drank. She sat there in slight awe, amazed at the affect a kiss from her had on Buffy. Never in a million years did she ever think she'd get the chance to kiss Buffy without having her ass kicked for trying.

"Are you okay with this?" Buffy asked softly.

"You _are_ kidding, right?"

"This is all sorts of new, Faith."

"No shit," she smirked as she leaned in for a light kiss. "Definitely could get used to this, though, don't you think?"

"I think so, yeah."

"How can this be so easy?" Faith asked as she shook her head, still trying to make sense of it all.

"What do you mean? Are you talking about this?" Buffy asked as she motioned to the closeness between them. "I don't know, Faith. All I know is..."

"It feels right. Right?"

Buffy nodded and smiled up at her, giving her one last soft kiss before Kennedy came back outside with a full bottle of wine. Faith couldn't keep the satisfied smile off of her face as Kennedy sat back down near them and raised an eyebrow. She said nothing as she opened the bottle of wine and topped up her own glass before she leaned back on her elbows and stared up at the darkening sky.

Whatever really was happening between them, whether it would end up being a fling or something more, it was real and it did feel right. It felt so right that Faith had a feeling it should have always been that way, but there'd always been complications in the past. Too many of them and not all of them her own fault either. There was Angel there in the beginning, then her stint on the dark side. Then there was the time she'd spent in prison, during which she had to admit she did nothing but think of Buffy almost the entire time. She'd gone to prison not just for herself, but for Buffy too.

One of these days she'd tell Buffy everything. She'd let down all her walls and open herself up completely to her and she only hoped that Buffy would feel comfortable enough and be able to trust her enough again to open herself up too. But for now all she wanted to do was enjoy the night with the woman she never thought she'd have a chance with and the other woman who was quickly becoming her best friend.

For once her life was going good. She had people who cared, she was starting to feel like she was truly a _part_ of their little family group, and she had Buffy. She was going to do everything she could to hold on to this part of her life. There was no way she was giving any of it up for anything.


	12. Chapter 12

Things were about to get interesting and Faith could just feel the evil surrounding the city when she woke up bright and early. She looked over at Buffy, who lay on her bed next to her, and smiled to herself as she watched Buffy sleep. After the last bottle of wine they had come up to her room for a little bit of privacy. Despite wanting to take things all the way, Faith had held herself back. She was glad she did. She wasn't about to have Buffy doing anything she'd end up regretting.

When did she become so careful with other people's feelings? It was one of those things she couldn't just pinpoint to one incident or specific time. It was something that was changing in her day by day. She carefully got off the bed as to not wake Buffy and she groaned softly as she stretched out her stiff muscles. She grabbed a change of clothes and her towel off the back of the door and slipped out of the room, looking back for a moment as she heard Buffy sigh out as she rolled over and pulled the pillow close to her chest. She opened the bathroom door, chuckling softly when she looked down and saw Kennedy curled up near the toilet.

"Rise and shine," she laughed as she knelt down next to Kennedy and waited for her to open her eyes.

"Fuck," Kennedy moaned as she pulled the towel she had rolled up for a pillow over her face. "Do you have to be so loud, Faith?"

"Of course I do," she grinned as she helped Kennedy sit up slowly. "I take it the wine didn't sit too good with you last night, huh?"

"I am never drinking wine again."

"Yeah, me neither," Faith replied as she rolled her eyes, the sarcasm just dripping off her tongue.

"You and Buffy..." Kennedy groaned as she took a deep breath. "Did you and Buffy, you know, fuck already?"

"Nah," Faith replied as she shook her head and sat next to her as she moved to lean against the bathtub.

"But you two took off up to your room. One would just naturally figure you'd be fucking all night long."

"Just made out on the bed like a couple of horny teenagers," Faith chuckled as she shook her head. "Buffy is really doing a fuckin' number on me."

"No kidding. So," Kennedy grinned as she nudged Faith with her shoulder. "You two are definitely hooking up, aren't you?"

"I don't know if you could call it that. We've only kissed a couple of times."

"A couple? Jesus," Kennedy laughed as she shook her head. "Well, I say it's a start to a beautiful relationship…or at least one night of fucking each other's brains out before you realize you'd be better off as friends."

"You really think that?"

"No, I was just saying...in general, you know? Don't listen to me. I've got a hangover the size of...of the whole fucking country. My thoughts are a little scattered."

"I don't do relationships," Faith muttered under her breath as she traced over the hole beginning to tear in her jeans. "I don't even know if I want a relationship with Buffy. Hell, I don't even know if she knows what the hell she's getting herself into with me."

"You and Robin almost had a thing. You wanted something with him, didn't you?"

"I don't even know anymore, Ken. Maybe I did at the time cos there was just nothing else out there for me and nobody else that was willing to give me a chance."

"Buffy seems willing," Kennedy pointed out, smiling at Faith as she shrugged. "You really think she'd want to kiss you if she wasn't willing?"

"I don't..."

"Just stop," Kennedy said as she tried to stand up. She gave up with a groan when her body didn't seem to want to cooperate, deciding to stay right where she was. "Look, you gotta stop saying 'I don't know' and you have _got_ to stop questioning things when it comes to Buffy. Yes, I know you are doing nothing but asking yourself questions you'll never find the answers to."

"How the hell do you know what I'm thinking?"

"You are a lot more transparent than I think you realize you are, Faith. Sometimes all I have to do is look at you and I'll instantly know what you're thinking of. Lately it's all been about Buffy, about the Hellmouth, about Henry, and after last night...Julie."

"I hate that bitch."

"So do I. Willow sure has taken a quick liking to her though," Kennedy replied bitterly. "She just rubs me the wrong way, you know? Something about her bugs me."

"Yeah."

"What do you think the others would think about you and Buffy hooking up?"

"I don't know," Faith shrugged. "I haven't really thought about it."

In truth, she had and she was scared what the others would think. Xander might not have much of a problem with it; then again, she wasn't so sure about him. Kennedy was different. She hadn't been there before when everything happened with her and the rest of the Scoobs. She didn't know how Willow would feel, but she was sure she wouldn't be too happy about it. Same with Dawn. It made her head spin just to think of the fallout that could happen if they were all against her and Buffy and whatever relationship was actually unfolding between them.

She knew that she and Buffy would have to seriously talk about the nature of their relationship, find out just what was really happening between them before anything else happened. She wasn't so sure how much longer she'd be able to hold herself back with Buffy. Kissing her had become an addiction in just a few very short days. She knew Kennedy was right about Buffy being willing to have something with her. Why else would she have wanted to spend the hours before they fell asleep making out on Faith's bed? She let out a heavy sigh as she ran her fingers through the tangled mess of her hair.

"You really don't know what to do when it comes to Buffy, do you?" Kennedy asked softly. Faith shook her head no and they both let out a soft sigh. "I don't know Buffy that well, but just keep doing whatever it is you two have been doing and let it progress however it's going to progress. Maybe stay away from drinking together for awhile, you know?"

"Yeah, cos that's all we seem to do on our downtime."

"We're young," Kennedy chuckled. "We do deserve to act our age especially when we all have the weight of the world on our shoulders. Plus you know alcohol is like truth serum. Loosens the tongue and takes what could be a tense situation and makes it...less tense."

Faith chuckled as she raised an eyebrow at her. "This is why I like you, Ken. You're easy to talk to and you lay it out on the line how it is. You never hold anything back with me and I appreciate that."

"Just like I'm going to keep telling you that you and Buffy need to fuck already. The tension between you two is just..."

"Just what?"

"Has it always been like that for you two?"

"Like what?"

"Not knowing what you want yet knowing it, but too afraid to take what you want because you fear how the other will react if you do. And if that made no sense, blame it on the hangover," Kennedy said with a smile as she stood up slowly and began carefully making her way to the door. "I'm going to get some sleep in an actual bed for a couple hours."

"Later, Ken."

"Right," she nodded as she stumbled out of the bathroom, closing the door behind her rather loudly.

Faith sat there for a few minutes trying to absorb what they'd talked about. Any other time she would have laughed it off, but Kennedy was her friend. Things were still complicated at best between her and Buffy, but something was making things easier for them and it had started with that first kiss a few nights ago. Buffy had taken the initiative and made the first move. Despite her own sexual bravado, she would have never found the courage to make the first move on Buffy because it was _Buffy_, not some random stranger she picked up in a bar or a club and would very likely not see again. She knew she had a lot of thinking to do and a lot of things to figure out. She knew she had feelings—deep feelings—for Buffy, she just wasn't sure _how_ deep they went or what they meant just yet.

Love was a scary emotion for her to feel, especially when it came to loving another. Rather than let those thoughts consume her so early in the morning, she had a quick shower and headed downstairs to make a pot of coffee. She stood at the sink staring blankly out the window as she let her previous thoughts run rampant through her mind. It had only been a couple of weeks and she was letting old feelings consume her yet again. However, they weren't just old feelings, there were new ones too, and ones she just didn't quite understand.

She snapped out of the daze she'd fallen into when she heard Dawn and Buffy talking quietly as they came down the stairs. She quickly filled up the coffeemaker and switched it on, managing to duck out the back door before Dawn and Buffy came into the kitchen. She needed time alone to think and time alone in the house was hard to come across. It bothered her she couldn't just find her own space there without someone always being around one way or another. It was in moments like this when she asked herself why she even bothered tagging along with all of them.

"Hey," Buffy said softly as she stepped outside. "You okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be okay?"

"You weren't there when I woke up and I heard you and Kennedy talking in the bathroom."

Faith shrugged as she walked across the grass towards the picnic table and sat down. "I just needed some time alone, B. Not a big deal."

"I'm going to ask you one more time, Faith. Are you okay with this?" Buffy asked as she sat down next to her. "I know neither of us probably expected anything like this to happen, but it's happening and it's real and I can't shake the feeling that you are about to run away from this."

"What's _this_ anyway, B? What's making me so damn nervous is not knowing what the hell is happening between us."

"Things are changing," Buffy whispered as she fidgeted with the hem of her t-shirt. "I don't know why, but they are. I'm feeling things that I've never felt before and I know you are too."

"Still don't understand why," Faith muttered under her breath. "Guess it's just one of those things that happen, right? Fucked up thing is that things like this never happen to me. Ever."

"It doesn't mean that it never will happen," Buffy said as she smiled a little at her when she turned to look at her. "Faith, I know that you want to know all the answers. I want to know them too, but I think...for now we need to just let it happen."

"Tell me something, B," Faith said as she stared at her long and hard for a moment. "If the fight against the First never happened and I still came back, would it be like this?"

"I don't know."

"So why is it like this now?"

"Faith, can't we just..." Buffy sighed as she reached for her hand and intertwined their fingers as she moved to sit closer to her. "I know that the last thing either of us ever expected was for something more than friendship to happen between us. Maybe this is why we could never be friends before—because we have these feelings for each other?"

"What feelings?" Faith asked, not meaning to sound so cold. She groaned as she looked at Buffy, trying to figure out what was going through her mind. "What I meant was, what kind of feelings are you having, B?"

"Feelings, I don't know...I just know I want to...you know, and that scares me because I've never wanted to...with another woman before," Buffy said quietly, her face flushing a deep red as she looked away from Faith. "I don't know when these feelings started, okay? I just...god, I feel so confused and yet at the same time I..."

"You know what ya want but you're afraid to take it?" Faith finished for her, smiling when Buffy just nodded her head a little.

She wanted to tell Buffy just to take whatever she wanted, but somehow she knew that Buffy already knew that and was waiting until she was ready to. She laughed to herself, still trying to figure out how this happened, how Buffy ended up wanting to be with her. Nothing made any sense, but she knew it didn't really have to—these things just happened when you least expected them to. The one thing that did keep bothering her was the fact that this was happening with Buffy. No matter how hard she tried to make herself accept it, she just couldn't. This was happening with Buffy—_Buffy_ of all people—and it was nothing short of brain flaming crazy for her.

Buffy was right about everything changing. They were all changing even if they didn't quite see how. She knew she had no control over the changes that were happening in her life and to her. She knew she had to try to find a way to stop letting her thoughts consume her and to simply let those changes happen. She also knew she had to find a way just to talk to Buffy, as hard as it was for her. How were they ever supposed to figure things out if they couldn't talk about it?

"Say we do this," Faith said softly, not daring to look at her just yet, "are we going to tell everyone else or is this gonna be some kind of secret between us?"

"Can't we just figure out what _this_ is first?"

"B..."

"This whole...gay thing...might not be new for you but it is for me. I don't know how to just tell everyone about..._this_."

"Who said I'm gay?" Faith asked, chuckling as Buffy shook her head and shrugged. "I swing both ways, B. Thought you figured that out by now. Now Willow and Ken is the pure definition of gay."

"Right," Buffy said with a short, sharp laugh as she let go of her hand and gave her thigh a gentle squeeze before she stood up. "We're going out on patrol tonight. What do you say about getting in a few hours of training after we have coffee and get some breakfast?"

"Is that gonna be code for 'I wanna make out with you in the basement for a couple hours', B?" Faith teased as she got up and followed Buffy back to the house, not even needing to see her face to know she was blushing furiously again. "So, is it?"

"No...well, maybe," Buffy said quickly as she turned to look at her for a split second and winked before she turned to walk into the house.

Faith chuckled as she followed Buffy into the house, her smile quickly fading when she found everyone was now awake and down in the kitchen. She grabbed herself a cup of coffee and stood by the counter next to Xander and Kennedy, all three of them watching as Willow and Andrew cooked up a stack of fresh pancakes. The three of them exchanged a look, one that said 'we're tired of eating the same thing for breakfast every morning'.

"You want to go grab something to eat at that little restaurant down the street?" Xander asked the two of them as he quickly finished off his coffee. "My treat?"

"Sure," Faith smiled as she sipped her coffee, it still too hot to drink it all down in one go. "Give me a few minutes, okay?"

"Ken, you coming?"

"Sure," she nodded, then flinched when Willow threatened to hit her with the spatula. "On second thought, I'll take up that offer another time."

"Looks like it's just you and me, Faith."

"Great," she laughed as she playfully punched him in the shoulder. "B, we'll get with the training when I get back."

"Okay," Buffy nodded, barely looking over at her as she engaged in a rather deep conversation with Giles and Dawn.

Before long she and Xander were walking to the small restaurant just a block away from the house. She'd seen the place before, but had never had the chance to go inside. They sat at a booth by the window and ordered a coffee while they waited for their breakfast to be made. Bacon, eggs, sausages, the works. Faith was practically salivating, dying for something more than just pancakes every morning. From the looks of it, so was Xander. The small restaurant was packed for a Friday morning and in some ways she was relieved with the amount of noise. She wasn't in the mood to talk about anything and she hoped that Xander would pick up on that fact.

She sat and watched as he fiddled with his patch and looked around the small restaurant, every once in a while emitting a soft, bored sigh. Their waitress served their breakfast about fifteen minutes after they'd sat down and they ate in utter silence, barely looking up at one another until their plates were cleared. Xander sat back and placed his hands over his stomach, smiling in satisfaction as the waitress came to clear their plates from the table.

"So," he said as he leaned forward a little, "I was going to ask you what happened to you and Buffy last night."

"We just went up to my room to...talk."

"Talk?" Xander asked as he raised an eyebrow at her, definitely not believing the lie that she'd told him. "Are you sure that's all that happened?"

"What? What the fuck do you want me to say?"

"You didn't..."

"We didn't fuck, no, if that's what you're so worried about," Faith replied bitterly. "What does it matter what we did anyway?"

"You better not hurt her, Faith."

"I don't plan to."

"You think that none of us can see what is happening between you two? We all see it and I know we've all come to our own conclusions about what's going on between you and Buffy."

"And what's your conclusion?"

"You're falling for her. Hard."

"Is it that obvious?" Faith asked. Xander just nodded his head as he smiled a little at her. "Shit."

"Then there's the moon eyes she makes at _you_ when you aren't looking, so you're not the only one being obvious about the something _more_ going on between you two. So what exactly _is_ going on?"

"Beats the hell outta me, man. I keep trying to figure that out myself."

"Have you and Buffy talked about this?"

"A little bit, yeah."

"And?"

"Still have no idea," she laughed softly as she motioned to the waitress for a coffee refill. "You know that things with me and B are complicated at best. Why should whatever _this_ is be any different?"

"Now you're making me confused," Xander laughed as he picked at the napkin in front of him on the table. "So, spill."

"Spill? There's nothing to fuckin' spill."

"Liar," Xander said, flinching as Faith clenched her fist tight. She winked at him, turning to smile up at the waitress as she poured them each a fresh cup of coffee. As soon as they were alone again, Xander leaned forward, smiling at her. "Spill it."

"Or what?"

"Or...I don't know, come on. Just tell me, Faith. Something happened, didn't it? You and Buffy didn't...you know?"

"Already told ya we didn't."

"Sorry, I'm just...curious."

"Right. Isn't everyone? Besides, a lady don't kiss and tell."

"Yeah, but you're no lady," Xander laughed. Faith kicked him under the table. "Ow! What the hell was that for?"

"We're not talking about this anymore, okay?"

"Fine," he groaned as he rubbed his shin. "I meant what I said before about not hurting her, Faith. You hurt her and I don't know what I'll do, maybe try to kick your ass and die trying. You know, I don't want to see you get hurt either. We're buds now and the last thing I want is for two of my friends to end up hurting each other because it doesn't work out in the end."

"Told ya already, Xander. I don't plan to hurt her. I've hurt her and everyone else enough in the past. I'm over that. And yeah, I know what you mean this time around too," she said softly and sincerely.

"Good talk," he laughed as he leaned back in the booth and sipped his coffee. "We should head back to the house soon."

Faith just nodded and finished her coffee, slipping outside to light a cigarette while Xander paid the bill. This whole situation with Buffy was making her tense and it was building in her like a ticking time bomb. She needed some kind of release and she needed it soon. Night was still far off and training never gave her the same kind of release that patrol did—or, say, rolling around in a bed with someone for a couple of hours, for that matter. Xander joined her outside a few minutes later, smiling at her as he motioned for her to start walking with him, this friendly silence lasting for the duration of the walk back to the house. She stayed outside to finish her cigarette and to find a few rare moments to be alone with her thoughts.

She headed straight downstairs as soon as she went inside and found only Buffy down there punching the bag half-heartedly while the music blared from the small radio. She stood there and watched for a couple of minutes, knowing Buffy was lost in a rhythmic trance and hadn't noticed that she'd come down quietly. Their connection was strong, but subtle; she knew it could only be felt if she singled it out. She leaned against the workbench and smiled as she tilted her head to the side, waiting, as she knew it wouldn't be much longer until Buffy turned around to look at her.

With a smug smile firmly in place, she grabbed the tape and began wrapping her hands slowly, never once taking her eyes off of Buffy. When she did stop and turn around, Faith was just standing there, deliberately looking uninterested despite the many lascivious thoughts that were going through her mind right then.

"Are you just going to stand there and watch or..."

"Was waiting for you to finish up," Faith replied before Buffy could catch her breath and continue.

"Are you sure that's all you were doing?"

"What else would I be doing?" Faith chuckled softly as she ripped off the roll of tape and walked over to the bag, stepping past Buffy as she moved away. Knowing what she was playing at was making Buffy slightly flustered, she raised an eyebrow as she motioned to the radio. "Ya wanna turn that up, B?"

She gave her a little wink before she turned her back and began to throw random punches at the bag to loosen up her muscles. She could feel Buffy's eyes burning into her. When she could feel Buffy standing right behind her, she slowly turned around while fighting to keep a smirk from slipping out.

"Is there something' ya wanted, B?"

"How is it that you always do this?"

"Do what?"

"Lure me in," Buffy whispered so quietly Faith could barely hear her over the music that blared from the radio. "Why?"

Faith shrugged, smiling as she took a step closer to her. She said nothing as she gently slid her hands over Buffy's hips and pulled her in closer. Her heart was racing, not knowing just how Buffy would react. She was waiting on Buffy to make the next move, to see just what she would do. If she was going to do this, she was going to let Buffy take the lead even if it meant they'd be moving forward at a snail's pace.

Buffy took in a shaky breath as she ran her fingers over Faith's arms lightly, hazel eyes rising up slowly to meet brown, and both of them quickly becoming lost within each other. Faith felt almost numb all over, though she certainly felt the goose bumps form over her skin under Buffy's fingertips. She could feel the heat coming from Buffy's body as she held her close and it made her senses, her hormones, the Slayer within her grow a little wild with need, with lust, with whatever else was there just under the surface. Buffy was feeling it too, it was ever so clear with the way she was just looking at her and the way she licked over her lips slowly before she sucked in a deep breath.

Faith had the feeling that no matter how many times a kiss between them would happen, or hours of making out like a pair of hormonal teenagers, it would always feel surreal and always feel like it was the first kiss all over again. She mentally had her fingers crossed in hope that this time Kennedy or one of the others wouldn't come down and ruin this moment between them. It was intoxicating with Buffy's lips mere inches from hers, just close enough to feel the hot bursts of air with every breath she let out.

"You're doing it again."

"What am I doing?" She asked softly as she slowly began to back her up against the nearest wall. She could feel Buffy's heart beating hard beneath her chest. She came to a stop when Buffy walked back into the wall and she manoeuvred herself so one leg firmly was placed in between Buffy's. "B? What am I doing?"

Buffy said nothing as she moved her hands from her shoulders and around to the back of her neck, both of them moaning softly as Buffy pulled her in for a deep kiss. It was the move she'd been waiting for Buffy to make and she knew she still had to fight to hold herself back. It was hard to think clearly with the way Buffy kissed her, nibbling her bottom lip every so often to give them a chance to catch their breath. It was hard to think clearly with the way Buffy ran her fingers over the back of her neck, the touch so tender it sent shivers down her spine.

"You know exactly what you are doing," Buffy breathed out as she looked up at her, stopping her from kissing her again.

"Do I?"

"I know you do because I don't."

"Last night was a whole different story," Faith whispered as she lifted her thigh slightly and pulled Buffy down. "I think you do know exactly what you're doing."

The moan Buffy tried to hold back made Faith's eyes open a little wider as she pulled her down a little harder onto her thigh, feeling the heat through the layers of clothing they both wore. Faith's muscles were straining, her fingers itching to roam, to touch Buffy, to make her come screaming her name. It was getting to be too much since she knew, she just _knew_ things were already going a little too fast for Buffy. She stepped back, dropping her hands from Buffy's hips as she shook her head.

"What's wrong?"

"We should just...train for a little while."

"Faith?" Buffy looked confused, a little flushed and out of breath as she stayed there leaning against the cool cement wall.

"What? I came down here to train. Y'know, trying to be the good Slayer and do what I've been chosen to do. Can't do it without properly training day in and day out."

"Faith," Buffy said again, walking up to her as Faith began to tear off the tape on her hands. She reached out as soon as Faith had the tape off her hands, grabbing both of her hands and pulling her close. "We really should talk about this and try to figure out just what is going on, but..."

"But?"

"Is it so wrong that all I seem to want to do is kiss you? Especially after last night, it's all I can think about today. I know that a few days ago things were different, really drastically different, and I get how scary this probably is for you too," Buffy said. She paused and took a deep breath, looking up into Faith's eyes, and all Faith could see was a storm of emotion in them. "Maybe it's because I'm lonely and I have been for so long now that I've fallen for the first one to really look at me. Or maybe it's because this—whatever this really is between us—should have happened a long time ago."

"You sure been spending a lotta time reading into this, haven't ya?"

"You haven't?"

"I have. Don't get me wrong. Fuck, B," Faith chuckled softly as she let go of her hands and ran her fingers through her tangled hair, "the first night you kissed me I thought it mighta been a mistake cos you'd been drinking and maybe you were just starting to feel a little too lonely for your own good. All I've been able to think about since then has been you and what all of this means for us."

"Maybe I was feeling a little lonely that night, but it's more than that. I look at you and I see something. What I see, I'm not so sure. I'd like to find out, have a second chance with you. Even after everything we'd gone through before…call me crazy, but I want us to forgive and forget and move on from that."

She thought she'd feel nervous talking about this, seeing how she'd never been in a situation quite like this before with anyone. But she wasn't. Buffy was making this easy for her, easy for her to let down some of her walls and just talk to her. She couldn't even hear the music coming from the radio anymore. She couldn't see the room around her. All she could hear was the sound of Buffy's heart beating just as rapidly as her own and all she could see was the way Buffy kept looking up at her.

She was lost within the depths of Buffy's intense gaze and the almost-numb feeling in her body increased. All of her other senses seemed hyper-aware, but all of her awareness had focused so tightly that she wasn't hearing or seeing anything other than the woman standing so close in front of her.

"If you were anyone else, B, it would be different," she said softly. "I wouldn't _care_ how you'd feel in the morning. I woulda taken what I wanted, fucked you all night long, let you whisper sweet nothings into my ear, and I woulda been gone from your bed 'fore you woke up. But...I can't do that with you. I don't want it to be that way with you."

"You see, this is one thing I've never seen in you before," Buffy smiled as she reached up and tenderly ran her fingers over Faith's jaw and lips. "You can't really blame me for wanting this either, can you? I remember the way you'd look at me before and to be honest it scared me and it still does, just not so much anymore."

"What changed?"

"I did. You did too."

Faith held back the words she wanted to say, not wanting to have the conversation turn around into something else than what it was. She'd never been so guarded of the things she said, nor had she ever been so careful about the effect the words she said would have on the one listening to her. Something in her had changed since she'd left LA to help them all in the fight against the First and she was only now beginning to really see all the changes she was going through. She felt this compassion inside of her she'd never quite felt so strongly before. She felt warmth that came from finally being a part of the only thing she knew she'd have as a family. She felt love, as crazy and farfetched as it was, when she looked at Buffy.

"You make me feel," she whispered softly, her lips brushing lightly against Buffy's as she closed her eyes. "You make me feel things I've never been able to feel before. Before, I thought Robin would be the one to surprise me, but I was wrong. You are."

Just when her lips finally pressed against Buffy's gently, she found herself being swept to the floor with Buffy on top of her, grinning down at her as she pinned her arms at her sides. She let out a laugh when she realized what Buffy had done, and before she could speak Buffy's lips captured her own in a soft yet passionate and deep kiss. She tried to break free from Buffy's tight hold and found it nearly impossible, but she wasn't really trying that hard. She felt Buffy smile just a little into the kiss before she pulled back just enough to look down at her.

At the sound of the basement door opening, heard even over the blaring radio, they both got to their feet. Faith did nothing but lick over her kiss swollen lips as Kennedy and Giles came down the stairs. She knew from the first look that the newest Slayer shot her way that they'd almost been caught and that Kennedy, at least, knew exactly what they'd been doing. Giles paid no attention to the awkward way Buffy stood near the workbench and sipped on the bottle of water she'd had down there. He barely looked at either of them as he walked to the back room, emerging a minute later with four long swords.

"Weapons training?" Faith asked, smiling as Giles handed her one of the swords and nodded his head. "Wicked. Where'd ya get these?"

"Henry," Giles replied as he handed Buffy and Kennedy their swords. "Now, it occurred to me the other day that Kennedy does not have proper training with various weapon types we use and I would appreciate it if the two of you, as the more experienced Slayers, would assist me in teaching her the proper way to fight while using them."

Faith nodded, running her finger over the sharp blade of the sword slowly. She had to clear her head of the thoughts still running rampant through her mind. She had to stop thinking about Buffy, about how good it felt to kiss her. She had to stop wondering just how far things would have gone if they hadn't been interrupted when they were.

In the end she was paired with Giles, fully knowing he didn't trust her enough to use the sharp pointy things when going against Buffy or Kennedy. Rather than try to convince him she wasn't still the reckless wild child of old, she just went through the paces with him, stopping every couple of minutes so he could try to explain to Kennedy how to counter-attack. She was bored out of her mind and that only brought back the thoughts she'd tried so hard to get rid of. Even through all the training, the gazes that she shared with Buffy didn't go unnoticed by Kennedy and Giles. Yet she didn't care.

Whatever really was happening between her and Buffy put a smile upon her face. If this was what happiness felt like, she didn't want it to ever change. She shook that feeling away that whenever something good happened in her life a world of bad would come crashing down. She wasn't going to let that happen. Not when she had something she'd never had before. Not when she had whatever really _was_ unfolding between her and Buffy. It wasn't love, at least not yet, but she knew it could be. One day.


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Notes: Thanks for reading and reviewing guys, means a whole lot to know others are enjoying this as much as I am enjoying writing it :)**

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The way she felt around Buffy now made her feel like a teenager all over again, but she didn't—not for a second—let it interfere with patrol. As it had been since they arrived there, it was uneventful aside from a handful of newbie vampires they ran into a few short hours before sunrise on the long walk home. The three of them had been separated most of patrol, each taking on their own red area, as Giles was calling it. It gave Faith a lot of time to think about the things that had been unfolding. By the time they had met up, shortly before running into those newbie vampires, she knew something had changed.

Buffy was quiet. She barely made eye contact with her or Kennedy. She stayed ahead of them, minding her own business as Faith and Kennedy walked side by side talking about the entire lack of activity that night. By the time they'd made it back to the house, Buffy went right up to her room to get some sleep, not even bothering to say goodnight to either of them.

"What crawled up her ass and died?" Kennedy muttered as she followed Faith into the kitchen.

"Who knows," Faith shrugged as she opened the refrigerator door. "You think it's too early to have a beer?"

"It may be coming up on five a.m., but we haven't even been to bed yet. That's late, not early. And definitely not too early for a beer," Kennedy laughed as she reached around Faith and pulled one out for herself. "Do you get the feeling that everything out there is doing all they can to avoid us?"

"Yeah and I don't like it. This isn't normal behaviour. So there are three of us here now. It's a big city. Maybe we're just not looking in the right places?"

"Or maybe Giles' so called 'red areas' are a joke?" Kennedy muttered as she and Faith walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. "Or maybe it's like Willow said to me the other day. There's something big and bad brewing and this is all just the calm before the storm. I don't know if you've noticed it, but everyone has been acting kind of...off lately."

"Yeah, I've noticed," Faith said softly as she twisted off the cap of her beer. "I was thinking about shit while we were all off on our own. Something strange is definitely fucking going on and has been since we met Henry and his family."

"Good. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks that."

"You think we should say something?"

"To who? Giles? Buffy?"

"To everyone," Faith replied quietly as she leaned back on the couch and listened to the soft whispers she could only faintly hear coming from upstairs. "It's been a long time since I've felt this kind of evil lingering all around us. It didn't feel like this when we were in Sunnydale. Sure, it was intense and the evil we could all feel that came from the First was dark, but this is different."

"So what are you thinking is going to happen then?" Kennedy asked as she looked over at her. "Another big bad that wants to end the world, or is it something else?"

"Got no fucking idea."

They sat there in complete silence, both of them finishing off their beers as quickly as they could before heading upstairs to get a couple hours of much needed sleep. Faith felt the exhaustion pulling at her before she could even get out of her clothes and the soft whispers she'd heard before were clearer now. Buffy was in her room talking to Willow, about what she couldn't quite make out. She didn't want to eavesdrop on their conversation, but she was curious since the few whispers she had made out made her think that Buffy was talking about her to Willow.

It had only been a couple of weeks, barely three weeks, and yet everything was changing drastically. She'd grown close with Kennedy and Xander, and was finding a common ground with Buffy without knowing exactly what that common ground really was. She could feel the relaxing nature in the house despite never being able to find some time alone unless she spent hours in the basement. Dawn was always off doing her own thing, as was Andrew and Willow. Giles, as far as she knew, was spending hours going through the hundreds of books that were in the living room. But it was more than just the fact that everyone was finding a place of their own there in the house, though just what it was she couldn't quite put her finger on.

There were always whispers in the house, whispers she could never quite hear even if she tried. There were also the whispers she heard solely in her head, half of which always tried to derail her, to lure her back to the darkness she had so easily embraced before. The other half of those whispers were mixing with her thoughts, making her think of things in ways she never quite did before. Everything was changing and they weren't all there for the eyes that sought out those changes.

She lay in bed and listened, drowning out the whispers in her mind and listening to those coming from Buffy's room. Whatever she and Willow were talking about was making Buffy upset. Faith rolled her eyes as she sat up slowly, straining to hear, even just a little.

She could only faintly hear Buffy whisper, "something doesn't feel right," and there was silence for a few minutes before she spoke again. "It came out of nowhere, Will."

"It didn't. I mean, these things just don't come out of nowhere, Buffy. Maybe you always did feel something for her. Why else would you be..."

"Right, right. I know. It's just that...its Faith I don't know what I'm doing with her...or what is going on. It's only been a couple of weeks. This...change of heart is just too quick and pretty farfetched, don't you think?"

Faith could feel the sharp pangs in her heart to hear those words fall from Buffy's lips. She could still hear them whispering, but it was fainter now. She could hear the confusion in Buffy's voice and the confusion that Buffy was feeling mirrored Faith's own. It'd happened to her before, feeling what she knew Buffy had to be feeling as well. She let out a deep sigh as she tried to push Buffy far from her mind so she could get some much needed sleep.

"Talk to her," Willow said softly and Faith groaned as she heard Buffy's bedroom door open and footsteps fading down the hallway.

Barely a minute passed before Faith heard Buffy knock quietly on her door. She didn't move from where she lay, hoping maybe Buffy would leave it alone for now if she didn't answer. She sat up when the door opened slowly and Buffy slipped inside.

"What do ya want, B?"

"Were you sleeping? I should just..." she trailed off as she looked over at Faith. She still had her hand on the doorknob and she pulled it away when Faith shook her head no and leaned back against the headboard as she crossed her arms over her chest. "I was just talking to Willow."

"I heard."

"Oh. How much did you hear?"

"Very little. So," Faith said as she motioned for Buffy to move away from the door. "You wanted to talk to me about something or what?"

"Yeah, I..."

"B," Faith chuckled as she moved over to the far side of the bed, "come and sit down and talk to me. I don't bite."

"Actually you did the other night but..." Buffy trailed off, blushing as she sat down next to her on the bed. "That's not why I came in here."

"No, you came in here to talk and that usually involves you moving your lips and tongue and the words coming out."

Faith was struggling to keep the post-slay hormones in check. Her whole body was burning, just aching to take Buffy right there, no questions asked. Faith's heart was pounding in her chest and she could hear Buffy's heart beating quite the similar tune. What she felt crawling in her was the wildness she'd craved, the wildness she always knew. It was like an insatiable animal deep inside of her and trying to claw its way out.

"So, that whole talking thing, B...it usually works when the one coming in wanting to talk actually starts talking."

"I know. I don't know…I'm not even sure how to say this."

"Why does it feel like you're breaking up with me?" Faith asked, stifling the laugh when Buffy glared at her. "Seriously, B. Whatever ya want to talk about just spit it out. Surely can't be half as bad as some of the shit we've said to each other before."

Buffy opened her mouth as if she was about to speak and that's when Faith completely lost all control. She moved in quickly, kissing her hard and deep. Just in the way that Buffy kissed her back, she knew there was another reason she'd came in there other than wanting to talk.

"Faith," Buffy breathed out as she pulled back from the kiss just as Faith pulled her so she lay down on the bed beneath her. "This isn't why I came in here."

"Then tell me to stop," Faith whispered as she trailed light, wet kisses over her jaw and across her neck. "If this isn't what ya came in here for, B. Make me stop. Tell me you don't want this."

Buffy bit her lip as Faith pulled back from her just enough to look down into her eyes. She could see the fire of burning desire in Buffy's eyes as she ran her hand lightly over her hip and under the tight tank top she wore. Her skin was warm and soft and Faith could feel the goose bumps form under her palm as she dipped her fingers just under the waistband of Buffy's pyjama bottoms.

"Faith, what are you doing? What are _we_ doing?"

"I know the other reason you came in here," she whispered as she moved in to kiss her. "You want me to fuck you, don't ya? After a long night and a quick slay you're feelin' all worked up and needin' some relief. Don't lie. I know ya feel it."

"Faith...stop," Buffy said softly, yet made no effort to stop her as Faith slowly slid her hand inside her pyjama bottoms, barely touching her as she waited for the retaliation from Buffy.

She knew she wasn't thinking clearly and she didn't care. Her blood was boiling as it coursed through her veins. She was shaking, just a little, as she dipped her fingers lower, moaning as she cupped Buffy's pussy, the only barrier between her fingers and pure flesh was the thin cotton panties Buffy wore. Faith could only watch as Buffy bit her trembling lower lip as she raised her hips in time to the teasing passes of Faith's fingers over her throbbing clit.

"Too far?" Faith asked softly, pressing just a little harder and feeling her own panties growing damp as Buffy moaned softly. "You want me to stop?"

"No," Buffy whimpered and let out a loud gasp as Faith slid her fingers past the barrier of her panties. "Wait," she sighed out and grabbed onto Faith's arm, stopping her before she could go any further. "We need to talk and not do...this."

"This?" Faith said huskily as she slid a single finger inside Buffy's hot, wet hole. "Fuck, B. You really did want this, didn't ya?"

She was drowning on the power she had over Buffy, breathing in the shuddering moans that escaped Buffy's lips with every gentle movement of her finger. She wanted to take her hard and fast, the way she knew she could take it, but she didn't. She couldn't. Not yet. She'd already gone too far and she knew it, but Buffy wasn't throwing her off and she wasn't stopping. She kissed Buffy softly, muting her moans as she kissed her deeply, their tongues dancing and fighting for dominance. Buffy's nails were digging into her forearms as she kept the slow, steady pace, fucking her as deeply as her fingers would go.

"Faith," Buffy breathed out softly as she broke away from the kiss panting, her nails digging almost painfully into Faith's arms. "Oh god. You should stop...this is..."

"Too far?" Faith asked, stilling her fingers and trying to get Buffy to look her in the eye. "Told ya to tell me to stop, B."

"I did."

"Fuck," she groaned as she pulled her hand out of Buffy's pyjama bottoms and rolled off of her. "I'm sorry, B."

"Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Apologize to me," Buffy said as she turned to look at her, her breathing still ragged and heavy, her skin flushed with arousal and what Faith thought could be a slight bit of embarrassment. "Post-slay, I know how it feels and how...wild it is inside of you when you try to ignore it. That's what this was, right?"

"Yeah. Good old post-slay hormones coming into play," Faith said sarcastically as she got up from the bed and walked over to the window, opening it up as wide as it would go and taking a nice, deep breath of fresh air.

"Faith, just because you...got a little out of control, it doesn't have to change anything."

"Sure it does."

Buffy sighed as she got up from the bed and walked over to Faith, stepping in front of her as she let go of the windowsill she hadn't realized she was gripping so tightly. "No, it doesn't have to change anything, Faith. It doesn't change the fact that I still don't know what I'm doing."

"Well _I_ do and this isn't the way it should've happened between us."

"What do you mean?"

"Don't play stupid with me, B. I know you weren't ready for any of this much less having me try to fuck you. It was supposed to be different," she said, muttering the last part under her breath.

"It is different," Buffy said quietly as she wrapped her arms around Faith and pulled her in close. "Ever since that night I kissed you all I want is to be close to you. I keep trying to push myself away, tell myself to take it slowly and with caution. We got a lot of rocky history between us and I don't want to mess anything up and have us go back to..."

"Hating each other? Wanting to kill each other?"

Buffy just nodded as Faith let out a soft, dejected sigh and wrapped her arms around her just as tightly. "Call me crazy, but I can feel something between us and I'm afraid if I don't grab a hold of it, I'll lose it. I'll lose you."

"I'm not goin' anywhere, B. If I didn't want to be here then I wouldn't have stayed as long as I have. You guys have given me a place I actually can call home now. I've never had that before. I'm here for as long as you all want me here."

"Oh, but I..."

"You thought that if you didn't fuck me, I'd leave?" Faith laughed softly as she shook her head. "You really don't know me, do ya?"

"No, I don't. I've been trying to. You keep me at arm's length just like you do with everyone else."

"You wanna know why? I keep you at arm's length cos I don't know how to do _this_ with you. I'm well aware of your past relationships just as you're well aware of my past...experiences with other people. I'm afraid I'll end up hurting you, Buffy. Can you believe that? Cos I really can't."

"Faith, you aren't making any sense."

"No, I'm not," she said sharply as she dropped her arms from around Buffy and stepped back. "None of this makes any sense. And no, I'm not just talking about _this_," she said as she pointed between them. "I'm talking about everything, Buffy. Us being here, me being here with you guys acting like..."

"Like a family fighting against the dark forces of evil together."

"Only there's one problem. The whole lack of evil actually showing its face around here. Something is going on here and I'm starting to wonder if whatever it is out there right now is making _us_ be the way we are together."

"So you think that the way I feel about you is because of what, some spell or something?" Buffy scoffed as she folded her arms across her chest. "Does that make you feel any better about any of this, Faith?"

"Makes a hell of a lot more sense than what's going on."

"You don't get it, do you?" Buffy asked, cutting her off before she could even speak again. "I've done nothing but try to figure out why I feel the way I do about you, why I get those butterflies in my stomach whenever I kiss you, why I'm...forget about it."

"Why what?"

"I said forget about it!"

Buffy tried to leave then, shaking her head angrily as Faith grabbed onto her and forced her to stay where she was in the middle of the room. Faith leaned in, her lips brushing lightly against Buffy's ear as she spoke so softly, "Buffy, tell me."

"It makes sense and it doesn't," Buffy said as she pushed Faith away from her and began to pace around the room. "I keep looking at my past relationships and the type of people—men—that they were and I look at you and some of it makes sense. You are just like them and yet you aren't."

"Hate to break it to ya, B, but I'm not a vampire and I'm not soldier boy. What the hell makes me like them, B? Far as I know I'm nothing like them. For one thing, I'm not a man, but of course you already knew that."

"The darkness in you," Buffy said softly. "They all had it and so do you. You being a woman doesn't make this any different. When it comes to...love..."

"Love? Is that what this is?"

"I don't know, Faith!" Buffy sighed out as she stopped pacing. "Maybe it is, maybe it's something else. I don't know. Willow asked me why I feel this way about you and I didn't know what to say to her."

"It's all just an illusion," Faith muttered under her breath. "Whatever the hell is going on around here is making us be this way."

"No," Buffy said as she sat on the edge of the bed. "This started before we came here. This started a long time ago."

"So, you loved me even when you wanted to kill me? You loved me when you gutted me for Angel? How's that for irony, Buffy? Nobody can love me without wanting to see me dead."

"Faith..." Buffy sighed as she reached out and grabbed onto her hand and forced her to sit down on the bed next to her. "I never hated you. I was angry. Confused and upset. I didn't know how to help you. You were so far gone to the darkness inside of you and you were so far gone from everyone including yourself. I didn't see that until we were at Angel's."

"What the fuck do you want me to say, B?"

"Nothing. I don't want you to say anything. I just want you to listen."

"Fine."

Buffy sighed as she reached for Faith's hand. "I'm falling for you and I know you are feeling the same way. What's happening between us is real and it's something I know I've never felt and that I know you've never felt either. You want to know what changed? What made me want to do this? That night Robin died, I never saw you so lost and alone. I felt something when I held you as you cried and it scared me because I didn't know why I was feeling that way for you."

"Feeling what way?"

"Like all I wanted to do was hold you, comfort you, and promise you that everything would be okay."

"You realize we've never talked about this kind of stuff at all before?" Faith asked, laughing softly as Buffy nodded her head. "So what does all of this mean then, B? Are we together or something? You're gonna have to tell me cos I'm not good at this kinda shit."

"That part I'm not so sure about right now," she replied as she stared at Faith. "You do feel it though, right? I mean when we're close, you feel that...spark, don't you?"

"I've always felt it. Used to make me so crazy too whenever I was around you. Still does."

Being so honest never felt so good before. Faith felt like smiling, like laughing, like crying, and she felt a whole other mess of emotions she couldn't quite put into intelligible words. She forgot just how tired she was and ignored the tired pleas her body made to just get some rest.

"It makes me crazy too," Buffy whispered as she slowly moved to straddle Faith's legs. She smiled a little as she ran her fingers delicately over her jaw and tucked the hair that had fallen over her eyes behind her ears. "What are you thinking about right now?"

"Right now?" Faith asked as she lightly ran her hands over Buffy's thighs and smiled at her. "A lot of things. Mostly about how this can actually be happening. How is this happening, B?"

"I don't know. It just is."

"I need a better fucking answer than that."

"You've really never felt like this with anyone else, have you?"

"No," Faith replied softly as she looked away from her. "I never let myself feel this way before. Don't know why now is any different."

"You know what I think?" Buffy said as she gently cupped her face and forced her to look back at her. "I think after we fought the First and won, we walked away feeling like we could conquer anything that life throws our way. This," she smiled as she leaned in and laid a light kiss on Faith's lips, "is one of those things we no longer are afraid of."

"Speak for yourself, B. I'm fucking terrified."

"Why?"

"Cos it's _you_, Buffy. The last thing I ever expected to happen was to have something with you, even just friendship. Hell, I'm not complaining about this," she chuckled as she looked at the small space between them. "I just don't know if I can give you everything you need."

"How do you know what I need, Faith?"

"You're relationship gal. You like the whole dating scene and the holding open the doors and flowers and..."

"No," Buffy laughed as she playfully slapped her shoulder. "You really don't know me at all. That's not what I want."

"Wanna roll around in the sack a few times, get your kicks that way? Cos that's the kinda stuff I know how to do."

"No, I mean...if it comes to that then yes I do, but that's not all I want."

"Then what do you want?"

"All of it. All of you. I want you regardless of the past we've had. I want you as a friend, as a...lover...I want you as the one who'll stand by my side as we fight. I just want you there with me, Faith."

"I am here with you, B," Faith chuckled, humouring her and trying to ease her own fears as everything Buffy was telling her really began to sink in. "What if this doesn't work out? Can't end too well seeing how things ended the last time between us and we were hardly even friends then."

"I don't want to think of that," she whispered. "It's going to be different this time."

"How do ya know that?"

Buffy sighed as she took Faith's hand and placed it over her heart. "Because I can feel it in here. I know how that must sound, but I really do feel it, Faith. Can't you feel it too?"

"Oh I can definitely feel something," Faith smirked as she moved her hand to Buffy's breast, feeling her nipple stiffen a little under the light touch.

"Faith..."

"What, B?" Faith asked, titling her head to the side as she watched Buffy's emotions flow freely in her eyes. "You got no idea what you're gettin' into with me, do ya?"

"I think I got a little demonstration of that a little while ago," she replied, her voice cracking slightly as she tried to suppress a moan when Faith pinched her nipple through her shirt. "And one now..."

"This is nothing compared to what I really wanna do to ya," Faith whispered huskily into her ear as she dropped her hand from her breast. "I think for now, we should just...get some sleep."

"Is that what you really want?"

"Yeah. At least it is for right now anyway," Faith smirked as Buffy stood up, pouting as she straightened out her tank top. "Been a long night, B. These all night patrols are gonna end up killing us. Maybe after we've slept for a while we can talk to Giles about toning down the hours we patrol. It's not like we're up to our ears in baddies crawling all over town."

"You think that's funny?"

"What?"

"Teasing me and then pushing me away like nothing happened!"

"Hysterical," Faith winked as she moved up the bed and laid back. "You leavin' or stayin'?"

"I can stay?"

"If ya want. Plenty of room on the bed. Can't be held accountable for wandering hands, though, sorry."

Buffy raised an eyebrow and laughed as she walked over to the bed and laid down next to her. "You better watch those wandering hands, Faith."

"Or what? You'll counter-attack with some moves of your own?"

"All joking aside," Buffy laughed as she pulled the covers over them, "I'm glad we had this talk, Faith. I know how hard it is for both of us just to talk to each other about anything. We're working on it, though, don't you think?"

"We are," Faith nodded as she stifled a yawn and closed her eyes. Without even thinking about it, Faith wrapped an arm around Buffy and pulled her close. She laid a gentle kiss on the top of Buffy's head, smiling when Buffy moaned softly as she laid her head on her shoulder. "We'll talk later after we've gotten some sleep and aren't letting the lack of sleep affect our thoughts."

"Mm-hmm."

"I don't actually do this."

"Do what?"

"This," Faith said as she gave her a gentle squeeze. "This...cuddling thing or whatever ya wanna call it."

"Well you _are_ doing it," Buffy chuckled softly as she poked her in the stomach lightly. "And for the record, this isn't the first time we've done it."

"No, just the first time we've been conscious of doing it."

"But you have to admit this feels nice, doesn't it?"

"Sure," Faith shrugged, smiling a little as Buffy curled up against her. "A little off the charts when it comes to stuff we actually do together, but yeah it's nice."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"B," she sighed as she looked down at her. "Less talk and more sleep, okay?"

"No," Buffy said as she moved away from Faith a little to look at her more fully. "We're on a roll with the talking thing, so...talk."

"Do ya _want_ me to kick ya out? Cos I will, B. All I want right now is a few hours of sleep. Is that too much to ask for?"

Buffy shook her head no and let out a soft sigh as she moved to lay her head back on Faith's shoulder. "Doesn't this freak you out?"

"What? This?"

"Yeah."

Faith shrugged, not knowing quite how to answer that. Definitely a loaded question that came with more than just one answer. This whole thing with Buffy was definitely freaking her out mostly because she couldn't believe this was actually happening. She actually didn't mind the whole cuddling thing. It felt right and it felt good, relaxing almost. She was inwardly cursing herself for pushing things too far before with Buffy. It was just how she was and when she reached a certain point, all rational thoughts left her mind until there was only one left.

She said nothing when Buffy moved away from her and lay on her side with her back facing her. She barely even breathed as she looked over at Buffy, wondering just what she was thinking about at that moment. Trying to figure out Buffy had been the one thing she never was able to do and it was harder now, harder for reasons she wasn't so sure about. She wanted to reach out for her, to move behind her and hold her and whisper all the things she figured Buffy would want to hear her say. But she couldn't.

She'd let Buffy stay there if she really wanted to stay. The only thing she really cared about was getting some rest. Her body was practically begging for sleep now, her vision already going blurry. These were feelings she was used to having, but to feel them on top of everything else she felt was almost too much. Not knowing if Buffy had fallen asleep by now, she moved closer to her and held her breath for a moment before she found her voice again.

"It freaks me out, B. It freaks me out cos it's you. I don't mean that it freaks me out in a bad way either, but..." she trailed off as Buffy rolled onto her back and looked over at her. "I guess I'm trying to figure out why this is making me feel this way."

"And?"

"And I don't fucking know. New feelings. Haven't quite got used to having them."

"I know. That's why I'm freaking."

"Good to know I'm not the only one, B."

Buffy only smiled a little at her, but it was one of those smiles that made her knees grow weak, her heart full, and it made her smile right back at her. It was with that smile that Faith knew what was happening between them. They were falling for each other, hard and fast, and there wasn't a damn thing either of them could do to stop it. Even with their history, it didn't matter. None of it did. Maybe it would matter in times when they could do nothing to stop it, but it didn't matter now.

Faith went to talk, to continue the conversation, but when she looked back over at Buffy she saw that her eyes were closed and that she was already fast asleep. She was afraid, though—afraid if she fell asleep and woke up that what had just transpired between them would end up being a dream fuelled by hope and useless fantasies she'd be better off not having at all. She moved off to the edge of the bed and let out a soft sigh as she closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep. She finally let the sounds of Buffy's soft breath lull her, her confusion over unresolved issues not enough to keep the contented smile from her face as she finally fell asleep.

****

She woke up alone, which didn't surprise her, and she laid there for the longest time just staring up blankly at the ceiling. She could hear the others talking down in the living room—arguing, more accurately. It made her head spin and she knew she should be down there, but she couldn't quite force herself to get up out of bed just yet. Her head was still reeling from the talk she and Buffy had before. Her body was still buzzing as it had been the whole time Buffy was there in her room.

The gist of the argument, from what she could gather, was Buffy and Kennedy rallying together to talk some sense into Giles regarding a modified patrol schedule. They all were thinking the same thing. There was no point in spending the entire night out with as little activity as they'd come across since they'd been there. Faith wanted to say something days ago, but she was trying to do things different, trying to follow some kind of direction and order that would keep her squarely grounded. She was used to routine now, she actually craved it, but she knew what they were doing now wasn't quite working out in their favour.

She rolled over and pulled the pillow close to her, smelling nothing but Buffy all over it. She breathed in deeply as she tried to keep her thoughts steady. Nobody had ever gotten to her this way and not even Buffy had gotten in so deep before. It was scary because it was Buffy. Had it been anyone else, even Robin, she knew she wouldn't be so afraid of what would happen next. She knew she wouldn't fear hurting the other, it just wasn't in her nature, but because it was Buffy she had a very strong fear indeed that she'd end up breaking her heart when things went downhill between them.

There was no right way to do any of this and she knew that. Despite it all being new for her, she knew what she wanted and it was there for the taking. That much was clear, especially after the way things had gone between her and Buffy that morning. The other thing she feared, of course, was how the others would react to the recent developments in her and Buffy's relationship, and she still had no illusions that everyone would be accepting and happy for them. There were still a lot of trust issues between them all that would take time to work through. She felt that Buffy was trying to work through those issues with her in her own way and she could feel the little bit of trust that had been growing between them since they arrived in Cleveland.

But not all good things could last. In fact it seemed that they _never_ did when it came to her and her life. She'd been dealt a lot of bad hands before and yet she somehow always managed to pull through in the end. She didn't want to deal with drama, useless and otherwise. She just wanted, for once in her life, to feel genuinely happy. To feel just how she felt whenever she was around Buffy, minus the fact that Buffy made her incredibly nervous most of the time.

There were more important things for her to worry about, to think about, though. There was the Hellmouth and trying to figure out why the vampires and demons were running scared. There was Henry and trying to figure out just what he _really_ wanted with all of them. She didn't get a bad feeling about him and she knew he was theoretically on their side, trying to fight the good fight and keep the evil from taking over the world. There was just something off. Something she just couldn't quite put her finger on, but her finger was hovering in the vicinity of his wife and Julie. From what she knew, they were two very powerful witches, probably even more so than Willow was, and that made her nervous.

Yet under all the conflicted emotions and thoughts she had, she knew that things were about to change in ways that none of them would ever see coming. Things would change on top of the personal changes and growth they were all experiencing now. Whatever was coming, she knew they had to be prepared. That sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach told her that the changes that were coming were not going to end well. For any of them.

And she knew she'd do anything to protect those she considered family now. Absolutely anything.


	14. Chapter 14

Faith was alone in Henry's bar that night, having ditched patrol to get a drink. When she saw Julie there sitting at the far end of the bar nursing a drink of her own, she wasn't surprised in the least. She sat on a stool on the other end of the small bar, trying at all costs to avoid making direct eye contact with Julie. They had shared just a single look when Faith had walked in there almost an hour before and that was that, not a single word or look had passed between them since. With that one look they both established the fact they were not in the mood to talk to anyone else, especially not each other, and Faith was okay with that.

Even inside the bar, it was quiet enough she could still hear the steady beat of the music coming from the club across the street. It made her blood quiver, it made her want to dance and to let go, but for some reason she just wasn't feeling up to going to the club to dance the night away. She'd spent a good part of the day doing nothing but thinking of Buffy and the conversation they'd had. She also spent a good part of the day off by herself, needing the alone time just as much as she needed each breath she took.

Being alone gave her too much time to think, usually with no way to work things out in a logical, rational way, but she felt trapped at times being there at the house surrounded by everyone almost every second of the day. She was beginning to crave a space of her own, possibly even a place of her own. Through the arguing over patrol schedules, Giles told them that they all needed to get at least part-time jobs to help pay the bills before the money he had put aside ran out. It got her thinking of finding herself a job and her own place and soon. It wasn't that she wanted to separate herself from everyone—well it was, but there was more to it than that. She was used to being on her own and doing things her own way.

"Deep thoughts?" Henry asked with a smile as he placed a fresh glass of beer in front of her.

"Just thinking. I need to find a job. Really don't know where to start looking."

"I could offer you a position here in the late afternoons and early evenings a few days a week," Henry said quietly as he looked around the room. "It doesn't get too busy here now that the club across the street is open, but I would still like some help if you are interested."

"What's the pay?"

"Minimum plus tips."

She thought about it for a minute, knowing it'd be better to take his offer just in case she couldn't find anything else that would be as flexible as she knew Henry would be for her. She needed a steady supply of her own cash and here a job was freely being offered to her, no questions asked, from someone who knew what the demands of her life were. She smiled over at Henry as she came to a decision.

"When do I start?"

"Monday at noon."

"Great," she smiled as she raised her glass slowly. "Thanks, Henry."

"So," Henry said softly as he wiped down the counter with the tattered rag that had definitely seen better days, "where are the others tonight?"

"Patrol."

"Where you are supposed to be right now, is that right?"

"Yeah," she laughed and shrugged as she took another sip of her beer. "Is it always so low on activity around here? Cos Giles really believed we'd be coming to a place that would be worse than Sunnydale."

"Not always. In fact I don't think I've seen it like this in all the years I've lived here and I've lived here my entire life. That is a lot of years if you ask me."

Faith laughed as Henry walked away to serve a customer that had just come in. Faith felt it before she even turned to look and see who'd sat down two stools away from her. She waited for Angel to turn to her before she cocked her head to the side and smirked at him.

"Hey," Angel nodded over at her. "For some reason," he said as he moved to sit on the stool next to her, "I knew you'd be in here."

"When did you get here?"

"Just now. Came up for a couple of days. To check in."

"Check in? On us?" Faith laughed as she turned away from him and reached for her now nearly empty glass of beer. "Haven't you heard? This place is a pathetic excuse for a Hellmouth."

"Just because it's like that now doesn't mean it'll stay that way, Faith."

She shrugged, knowing damn well how right he was. For Angel to come there from LA out of nowhere, something was definitely going on. She noticed the way he just looked at her, almost as if he knew something she didn't. She could see the slight surprise in his eyes as he just stared at her.

"What'd ya come here for, Angel?"

"We'll talk outside when you head back out on patrol," he replied as he eyed Henry for a moment. Faith couldn't help but laugh as she quickly downed the rest of her beer. "That's what I thought."

Angel followed her as she exited the bar and began walking down the street. Neither of them spoke on the short walk to the nearest cemetery and Faith headed straight for the first of few benches that were laid out along the path. She sat down and waited for Angel to sit down next to her, both of them cracking their knuckles as he paced for a moment before sitting down on the far end of the wooden bench.

"Anyone else know you're here?" Faith asked him as she took her stake out from her jacket pocket.

"No, and it's going to stay that way for now. How're you holding up out here?"

"Better than expected."

"And...Buffy?"

"Good," Faith replied with a shrug.

"Giles told me about the house," Angel said as he looked around to make sure they were still alone.

"Nice place. Little too fucking cozy if ya ask me," she said quietly as she ran the tip of her stake over her thigh, her mind trying to drift off somewhere else, though she kept fighting it. "It's not what I expected."

"What did you expect?"

"A little more action around here would be fucking nice."

"Be careful what you wish for," Angel said under his breath. "Are you and Buffy..."

"What?" Faith asked as she turned to look at him.

"Are you two getting along?"

"Finally," Faith replied, trying to keep it as vague as possible. She didn't want to talk to Angel about Buffy no matter what kind of conversation it was. It felt too awkward to have that kind of a conversation with him. "So really, Angel. What the hell are ya doin' all the way up here? Bit out of the way for a weekend trip, isn't it?"

"I'm here on more of a personal business more than anything else."

"Oh, I get it," she said confidently as she stood up from the bench. "You came here cos ya can't stand bein' so far away from Buffy, is that right? Or..." she frowned as she twirled her stake a couple of times, "or ya think I went bad again and killed 'em all in their sleep, right?"

"No."

"No to what?"

"All of what you just said. That's not why I'm here."

"Then why _are_ ya here?"

"Curiosity."

"Don't fuck around, Angel. Why don't ya just tell me why you're here and why the hell ya came to me instead of oh, I don't know, Buffy or Giles?"

"I wanted to talk to you first," Angel replied. "You didn't say much the last time we talked."

"Didn't have much to say."

"Find that hard to believe."

"Look," Faith sighed out as she sat back down on the bench next to him. "Whatever you're here for, just tell me straight up."

"It's about the Hellmouth."

"You were..."

"I wanted to know if you all knew. Apparently not," Angel replied quietly. "It has a barrier around it, yes, but the things I've found out in the last week…there's more to it than just a barrier cast by a powerful witch. When the barrier fades, it's going to get bad."

"How bad?"

"It will make Sunnydale look like just any other normal town. You are going to need help here."

"We got three of us, plus the Scoobies."

"It's not going to be enough."

"Then why come to me, Angel? What the fuck can I do about this?"

"I came to you because I wanted to make sure you were doing okay here first," he replied. "It hasn't been too long since..."

"I know. I'm fine," she snapped. "Dealing with everything in my own way."

"Which is?"

"Not thinking about it? Whatcha want me to say? That there's just too much going on, that there's all these thoughts," she said as she tapped the side of her head, "and some just block out the others? I know what you're gonna say, but I'm dealing with this redemption deal on my own and in my own way. Doing all I can to keep the darkness at bay and try to forgive myself for...giving in."

"It's a long, hard road, Faith."

"I know and I'm just making a little pit stop," she replied with a smirk, hoping to get a little laugh out of Angel. "I'm fine. Don't worry about me, Angel. Things are different now."

With Angel being back unexpectedly, she was trying not to let the flood of bad memories of the things she'd done come back to her. She knew the whole point of redemption was not to simply force herself to forget all the wrong she'd done before, but she'd had nearly two years in prison to think of those things. Now that she was out and had a second chance in life, the last thing she wanted to think about was who she'd been before. It was too easy just to forget as best as she could and move on, but it wasn't the _right_ way to do it. It was the only way she knew how.

"Let's walk," Angel said, jolting her from her own thoughts. "I won't stay for much longer tonight, Faith. I wanted to check in on you first."

She said nothing as they began to walk down the gravel path through the cemetery. Trying to figure out what really brought Angel there was as useless as asking him. Before they parted ways, he told her he'd be at Henry's the next night to really sit down and talk about the things he knew about the Hellmouth and the barrier spell that had been cast around it. She stood there on the path and watched as he disappeared in the darkness of the night. It was bad that Angel was there and she knew all those nagging gut feelings she'd been having were right. Something was off about everything and their luck was definitely starting to run out, bit by bit.

After doing a rather quick sweep of the cemetery, she headed back to the house. Too many nights with not enough sleep were beginning to take a toll on her body. It didn't matter if she was used to it or not, she still felt the fatigue. By the time she'd gotten back to the house she knew it was barely after midnight. Kennedy was already there sitting on the front porch with an open beer in her hand and one sitting next to her. Faith smiled a little at her as she sat on the steps next to her. She took the offered beer from Kennedy and twisted off the cap, nearly downing the entire bottle in one go.

"Slow night," Kennedy said softly as she looked up at the stars. "Buffy is still out. She told me just to come home."

"I got a job," Faith said listlessly as she stared down at the bottle in her hands. "Working at Henry's bar few afternoons a week. You heard if anyone else found anything yet?"

"Really?" Kennedy asked her and Faith only nodded. "Xander found a job with a contractor. Giles is...a man of leisure, is what he called it."

Faith chuckled as she leaned back on the steps and looked up at the sky. "Pretty sure he's used that term before. Wouldn't put it past him if he has."

"Willow said something about the magic shop a few blocks away. They're looking for clerks. Julie said she'd put in a good word to the owner for her," Kennedy said and she groaned in disgust when she said Julie's name. "I swear to god, Julie is going to make me want to kill her if she gets too friendly with Will."

"She's not gonna fall for Julie, Ken. Don't get so fucking worked up over it."

"She's over at Julie's place right now."

"Doesn't mean anything."

"Sure," Kennedy shrugged. "So what if Julie has a boyfriend. It didn't stop her from hooking up with you. What's gonna stop her from hooking up with Will?"

"Ken, seriously, just fucking drop it. You're getting paranoid over nothing. Buffy told you that Willow isn't like that. Can't ya have a little faith in the woman you're in love with?"

Faith was slightly relieved that Kennedy was unloading her own thoughts and worries on her. There was no way in hell she could talk about Angel. She didn't even want to think about him right then either, so she tried to pay attention to Kennedy's venting as she went on and on with her hate train against Julie. Every so often she'd look down to the street, thinking she felt Buffy nearby, but she was never there. She knew what was happening when it came to Buffy and the constant thoughts she let roam free in her mind. She was becoming infatuated with her and the last time that almost happened, it didn't end well.

This was one reason why she wanted a place of her own. Spending too much time around Buffy was beginning to get to her in the wrong ways. Her self-control would come into question sooner rather than later and it already had once. There was no doubt that it would likely happen again and soon. She scoffed at herself, ignoring the eyebrow that Kennedy raised at her before she continued with her venting. She shouldn't care so much, she knew that, but she did and there wasn't a damn thing she could do to change it either.

Buffy. Buffy. _Buffy_. Her mind was in a tailspin now and she was in far too deep to try and pull herself out. She barely even noticed when Kennedy took her empty bottle and headed inside to get a few more beers. She felt it again, that buzz, and when she lifted her head she saw Buffy walking up the front path towards her. She smiled, but it quickly faded when she realized Buffy was limping slightly and she had a nasty cut over her left eye. And she wasn't walking. She was trying to run.

"B, you got somethin' after ya?"

"Demon," she panted out breathlessly. "Lost it about a block away. I hope."

"How big?"

"Big."

"We need weapons," Faith said as she got up and helped Buffy up the stairs into the house. "Was just one, right?"

"Far as I know," Buffy nodded as Faith helped her over to the couch where she sat down.

Faith gave her a gentle kiss on her forehead before she went to the front closet and pulled back the panel. She pulled out a couple of axes and as soon as Kennedy came out of the kitchen, she handed one to her. Kennedy asked not a single question as she followed Faith outside. She only mouthed 'demon or vamp' and Faith just pointed to the nasty looking demon now walking up to the house.

"Stay back," Faith said softly to her. "I'll take care of this fucker."

"Faith..."

"Ken, just stay the fuck back. Come in swinging when I tell you to. Just don't fucking aim that at my head, okay?"

The demon stopped in its tracks halfway up the front path as Faith strode over to him gripping onto the handle of the axe tightly. She'd seen this type before. It was the same kind of demon they'd run into before during that first patrol. It was wounded pretty badly, but she knew better than to think it'd be an easy fight. The demon growled at her as she kicked it back, watching in amusement as it tumbled backwards a few steps. She wasted no time in advancing on it, swinging the axe with all she had and aimed straight at its neck. It growled again more angrily as it avoided the axe by mere inches.

"Ken," she said as she motioned to Kennedy to come down from the front porch. "Take the left. Ain't gonna be a quick fight."

"How do we kill it?"

"Snap the neck or take its fucking ugly ass head off. Only way," she said as she pointed to Buffy's stake deeply imbedded into its chest. A surge of anger and adrenaline coursed through her veins and she charged forward, kicking the demon square in the torso and sending it flying back towards the road.

Kennedy reached it before she did, swinging the axe almost blindly as the demon got back onto its feet. Faith was seconds behind her and she pushed Kennedy out of the way as she swung the axe at the demon's neck once again, feeling a flood of relief as she felt the axe pierce through its tough skin. It wasn't nearly deep enough to decapitate the demon, though, and she growled in frustration as the demon threw a punch to her stomach that sent her flying backwards. She landed hard on the grass, blinking away the tears that sprang to her eyes with the pain of the blow just in time to see Kennedy flying towards her.

"Motherfucker," Kennedy winced out as she grabbed her side. "How the hell isn't it dead yet?"

"Don't know," Faith said under her breath as she picked herself up from the ground. "Its gonna be dead in a minute."

She felt no pain as she launched a flurry of punches and kicks against the demon and with a burst of energy she knew was still in her, she dropped the axe, grabbed onto its head and snapped it as hard as she could. The demon slumped to the ground as she stumbled back. She was breathing heavily as she bent down to pick the axe up from the ground and took one hard swing, finally decapitating the demon's head to ensure it would stay dead.

"Fuck. Ken, come give me a hand," she groaned as she motioned for Kennedy to help her get the demon off the front lawn.

They made it as far as the bushes that separated the front lawn from the neighbours, where they rolled it under the prickly thorn bushes and quickly tossed their weapons as two police cruisers drove past the house slowly. As soon as they were out of sight, Faith grabbed the weapons and headed inside with Kennedy right behind her.

Buffy was lying on the couch with Giles trying to clean her head wound for her. Faith put the weapons back where they belonged and joined the two of them in the living room. She looked over at Buffy as Giles left to get some bandages and she noticed the blood oozing through the dark denim jeans the blonde wore. Faith slowly moved over to her, kneeling down on the floor next to the couch as she carefully rolled Buffy to one side a little. She saw the jeans where there was a clean rip and the wound under it.

"Fuck, you're really hurt, B."

"Just a...scratch."

Faith shook her head as she ripped the jeans a little more and carefully moved the blood drenched material away from the deep wound. "Just a scratch, B? You're gonna need stitches."

Buffy sighed out, holding back the gasp of pain the best she could as Faith placed her hands over the wound and tried to stop the bleeding. The couch cushion was soaked with her blood and Faith tried not to panic as she watched the blood continue to flow out and around her fingers.

"Giles!" Faith called out, the worry heavy in her voice as Buffy went limp. "Fuck, B. Keep your damn eyes open, will ya?"

"What seems to be..." Giles trailed off as he came back into the living room and looked rather overwhelmed at the amount of blood coming out of the side of Buffy's left thigh. "Kennedy, run upstairs and get the kit out of the bathroom. Quickly."

"She's losing a lot of blood," Faith said quietly as she kept as much pressure on the wound as she could.

"Vampire or demon?"

"Demon. Like the ones we ran into the first night we went out on patrol. I took care of it. It's layin' dead in the bushes at the side of the yard."

"What kind of demon?"

"Fuck if I know, G. It was a demon and now it's dead. What more do ya fuckin' want?"

"Are you hurt?"

"Not badly," she responded as calmly as she could as Kennedy came down the stairs carrying the first aid kit.

"Hold her down. I need to quickly stitch the wound before she loses any more blood," Giles said under his breath as he pulled out the pre-packaged sterilized needle and thread. He quickly stitched the deep gash in her leg and not once did she flinch, make a sound, or open her eyes. "Faith, would you take her up to her room? She'll rest better in her own bed."

Faith only nodded her head as she carefully picked Buffy up from the couch. She ignored the pain shooting through her body as she carried Buffy slowly up the stairs and to her room. Buffy was breathing heavily and steadily, but she still hadn't opened her eyes or said a word. She laid her down on the bed and got her boots off, not once looking away from Buffy's face as she waited for her to wake up.

"You should get her out of those clothes," Kennedy said as she appeared in the doorway. "Make her more comfortable. No way is sleeping in clothes that are covered with dirt and mud comfortable."

"Find something for her to wear," Faith said quietly as she tried to unbutton Buffy's jeans. Her hands were shaking uncontrollably and she was nearly holding her breath as she gently and slowly slid Buffy's jeans off.

"This okay?" Kennedy asked as she held up a pair of sweatpants Buffy had cut into shorts and a black t-shirt. "Faith?"

"It's fine."

Kennedy tossed them at her and walked over to the doorway. Faith waited for her to leave and shut the door behind her before she carefully pulled the shorts up Buffy's legs. She kept waiting for her to wake up, not wanting to have to do this while she was passed out. With her hands shaking as badly as they were, she decided just to leave Buffy in the shirt she wore and she picked up her tattered, bloody jeans and tossed them in the small trashcan by the desk.

"Faith?" Buffy groaned softly as she sat up on the bed. "Where are you going?"

"To wash up," she replied as she looked down at her bloody hands and clothes. "Do ya want me to get you anything?"

"Anything to take away the dull throbbing in my head would be nice."

"Be back in a sec, B."

Faith walked out of her room, closing the door behind her before she walked down the hallway to the bathroom. Kennedy was already in there washing her own bloody hands.

"Demon blood," she said to Faith as she moved away from the sink. "Xander and Giles are down there burying the bastard in the backyard now. Buffy wake up yet?"

"Yeah. There any painkillers around here?"

Kennedy opened the medicine cabinet and pointed to an unlabelled bottle of pills. Faith quickly washed her hands of Buffy's blood and grabbed the bottle off the shelf. She stood there for a moment, trying to still her shaking hands and staring down at the bottle as she placed it on the edge of the sink. She flinched as Kennedy reached for her hands and forced her to look at her.

"You okay, Faith?"

She wasn't okay. Seeing the blood run with the water down the sink brought back the things she didn't want there in her mind. Not now. Not ever. She pulled her hands out of the ironclad grip Kennedy had them in and grabbed the bottle of painkillers off the sink. She glared at Kennedy, clenching her teeth as she silently warned her to back off. Grabbing the cup off the back of the sink, she filled it up before she walked out of there and headed straight back to Buffy's room.

She stopped at the door and closed her eyes, seeing flashes of that night in the alley when she stabbed Alan Finch with her stake. She saw flashes of the professor, the helpless look on his face as she gutted him, the anguish and pain he went through in those last moments before he took his final breath. The white hot anger she'd felt in the moments after, the overwhelming power she felt with taking another's life, lingered there in her memories. She'd spent too many nights lying in her cell in prison thinking of those moments. Far too many nights to count off the top of her head.

It took a lot to pull herself out of it, to find the edges of reality that burned at the edges of those memories. She always feared opening her eyes when she was in the midst of these flashbacks. Feared that she would open her eyes and her life would still be as it was then and not the way it was now. After taking a few deep, steady breaths, she forced her eyes open and then nudged Buffy's bedroom door, swinging it slowly open.

"Found some," Faith said, forcing a smile as she kicked the door shut and made her way to the bed.

"Thanks."

"Scared me for a minute there when ya passed out."

"Too much pain, too much blood loss, I guess," Buffy shrugged as she opened the pill bottle and took two of the small white pills out. "I was on my way home when it charged at me out of nowhere. I didn't see the sword it had until it was too late."

"S'okay, B. At least it didn't chop your fucking leg off. I took care of it. Fucker's dead now."

"Are you okay?"

"Bruised," she shrugged. "Nothin' that won't feel better by morning. Get some sleep, B."

"Feeling kind of wired right now, which is strange," Buffy chuckled softly as she reached for the glass of water Faith still held with both hands. "Aside from the demon that followed me home like a lost little puppy, how was patrol for you?"

"Slow."

"You went to Henry's for a drink, didn't you?"

"No," Faith smirked. "Yeah I did and he offered me a job."

"Oh great. I'm going to be the last one to find something—and watch, I'll end up working at some fast food place again. There's no way in hell I'm doing that again."

"It's a pretty big city, B. Bet there's some shops hiring. Plus," Faith chuckled as she shifted slightly on the edge of the bed to face her more fully, "think of the discounts you'd get working at some clothing store or some shit."

"Did something happen while you were on patrol tonight?"

"Told ya it was slow."

"You're lying."

"Not lying, B."

Buffy kicked her with her good leg and raised an eyebrow, almost scolding her with the glare she gave her. Faith just looked down at her clothes, covered in a mix of demon blood and Buffy blood. She stood up, grabbing the bottle of pills and the half glass of water and headed for the door. She said nothing as she motioned to the light switch, flipping it off after Buffy just nodded her head yes.

"Faith?"

"What, B?"

"You know you don't have to lie to me, right?"

"Told ya I wasn't," she replied softly as she stepped out into the hallway and closed the door behind her. "Shit."

After a quick change of clothes she went downstairs and joined Giles and Xander in the living room for a beer. The couch Buffy had been on was gone from the room and she only shrugged as she took a seat in the other chair in front of the window and took the offered beer from Xander as he sat on the floor next to the chair. Giles got up from his chair, walked over to the bookshelf, and pulled out a bottle of Scotch.

"Nice," Faith laughed as he placed it on the table in between the chairs and went to the kitchen to get three glasses. "Heard ya landed a job, Xand."

"Yeah. Start on Monday. Was thinking of getting my own place, too, you know as soon as I save up some cash. Not that I don't love living here with everyone, but sometimes you just need a place of your own, you know what I mean?"

"Thought of doing the same. Henry offered me a job tonight. Ain't much," she shrugged and took a few sips of her beer. As much as she wanted to have a conversation with him, she felt numb all over.

Giles came back from the kitchen then, mumbling under his breath how it was becoming too much with everyone at the house. Faith only rolled her eyes and nodded her head in agreement as Giles put the ice-laden glasses down on the table and poured them each a decent glass of Scotch.

"What's going on in there?" Xander asked as he took his glass. Rather than take a sip, he placed it on the floor next to him and waited for Giles to answer. "Giles?"

"Willow and Kennedy," he replied, looking bored as he sat in his chair and sipped his drink. "Arguing once again."

Faith looked down at Xander as they both shrugged their shoulders and tried not to listen to the faint voices coming from the kitchen as Kennedy and Willow fought to keep their voices low. She wasn't sure if everything was jolted for her because of Angel showing up, or if everything was just starting to lift this veil, but she could see there was something definitely happening. Something that was trying to pull them all apart.

She left her drink on the table, taking her beer with her as she headed out to the front porch. Even under the soft yellow glow of the streetlights, she could see the demon blood over the front lawn. It made her cringe, it made her angry, and it made her wonder what else was going to happen over the course of the night. She'd stopped thinking too much of the days ahead, choosing to live in the now, not necessarily living a _seize the day_ kind of life, though. Kennedy stormed out the front door a few minutes later, looking absolutely furious as she tried not to slam the door behind her.

"What the hell is going on around here?" Kennedy said under her breath as the tears began to fall.

"Wondered that myself."

"You do see what's going on, don't you, Faith?"

She nodded as she sat down on the front steps next to Kennedy. She knew now that Angel had come for something that he was keeping from her for a reason. She'd find out tomorrow night, or at least she was hoping for that. Pushing those thoughts as far as she could from her mind, she turned to Kennedy, not quite sure what to say or do to calm her down.

"Want me to go grab ya a beer?" Faith asked, unable to think of anything else to say. "Ken?"

"No," Kennedy said as she shook her head. "No. I just need to sit here for a little while and cool off."

"You want me to leave ya alone?"

"No," she said as she quickly wiped away her tears. "I'm just...getting worked up over nothing. This Julie thing is bothering me. You didn't see the way they were...talking to each other."

"You ever think that's all it was, Ken? What, just cos Julie is a witch you think Willow is gonna ditch you for her? Are ya stupid or something?" Faith asked, laughing softly when Kennedy only looked at her completely confused. "Willow is in love with _you_, you idiot. You should see the way she looks at you sometimes."

"I heard her tell Buffy that Julie reminds her of Tara. Probably better not to talk about it anymore," Kennedy sighed. "Everything is turning to shit, 'cept for when it comes to you."

Rather than prolong the argument by trying to explain herself, Faith kept quiet, only shrugging as she leaned back on the steps and looked up at the stars above. They sat there in comfortable silence for the longest time before Kennedy got up and went inside without so much as saying goodnight. Faith stayed out there alone and even as exhausted as she felt, she knew she wouldn't be able to sleep until she shut out the thoughts running through her mind.

By the time the sun rose hours later, Faith was still sitting out there on the front steps staring up at the sky. She couldn't stop the parade of thoughts; she couldn't even quiet them just a little. The paperboy narrowly missed her as he tossed the Sunday paper on the front porch, but she didn't flinch nor did she even look at him. She just stood up from the steps, picked up the paper, and went inside. She put the paper on the table in the kitchen and nodded over at Giles as she walked to the coffeemaker and waited for the last little bit to brew.

She made herself a cup of coffee and poured one for Buffy, then walked out of the kitchen and up the stairs slowly, listening as the others in the house woke up and began to start their day. She opened Buffy's door slowly, not bothering to knock first, and she found it hard to keep the smile off of her face as Buffy sat up in bed and smiled right back at her. Buffy took her mug from her and reached out to pull her down for a soft, lingering kiss. Faith pulled back after a few moments, chuckling softly as she sat on the edge of the bed. It was hard to believe how right this moment felt for her, how real it felt.

They sat there in complete silence, both of them smiling whenever their eyes met. Faith couldn't figure out why she was feeling the way she was, as if she was nothing more than a teenager with a hardcore crush or infatuation. No matter how things were going at that moment, she felt lost in her own little world, in her own little space there with Buffy. It made her forget everything she'd spent all night thinking about and it made her forget about everything but what was right there in front of her.


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's Notes: Yep, another update so soon...just cos I'm impatient to get it out there for all of you to read. Would love to know your thoughts so far :)**

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For a Sunday night, Henry's bar had more patrons in there than she'd seen in the few times she'd been in there. She sat at a table away from a group of vampires sitting at the three booths along the far back wall. She didn't want to get into anything with them. There were probably close to twenty of them and twenty of them versus one Slayer meant the outcome couldn't be good.

She sat there sipping her Coke, wanting to stay as far away from alcohol as she could now. She wanted to hear what Angel had to say with a sober mind. Something kept giving her the feeling that things were going to get very bad, very soon. Henry wasn't paying a speck of attention to her, he'd barely even had the chance yet to say hello. She was relieved about that since she didn't want him to notice her talking to Angel once he showed up.

"Hey," Angel said as he sat down on the chair across from her.

"Hey," Faith replied, trying not to sound as startled as she really was. She hadn't seen Angel come in and she hadn't heard him until he was right in front of her. "It's straight, if you're wondering."

"I can smell it," Angel chuckled. "Nobody knows I'm here, do they?"

"No. What does it matter if they know if you are here or not?"

"You'll see why I wanted to come to you first, Faith."

"Why don't you just tell me straight up what's going on," she said as she leaned forward so nobody around them could overhear them talking. "What the hell's goin' on, really, Angel?"

"Let's go for a walk," he said as he motioned to the door. "There are too many people around us and I can't risk anyone else knowing what I know."

"How come you didn't just tell me this last night?"

"Last night wasn't the time," Angel replied quietly as they stepped outside and began walking slowly down the street. "There's a lot to tell you and I'm not quite sure where to start."

"How 'bout the beginning? That usually works," she chuckled softly.

"That's the thing. There's the beginning and then there is the beginning of when you all arrived here. Which one do you want me to tell you first?"

"Which one's less confusing?"

"Neither," Angel said after a moment, sighing as he stopped next to a deserted looking building and leaned against the wall. "I know you know Juliet."

"Who?"

"Julie, Henry's daughter?"

"What about her?"

"What do you know about her?"

Faith shrugged as she leaned against the wall next to Angel. "Not much, just that she's...a witch. Kinda fucked around with her a couple times and just to make it clear—no I didn't fuckin' know who she was 'til after."

"When you were with her, you didn't happen to notice anything strange or off about her, did you?"

"Angel, just tell me what the fuck it is ya came all the way up here to tell me. I don't think me talkin' about some chick I fucked is what you came here for," Faith said angrily, trying so hard not to lose her temper completely. "I've got zero fucking patience right now."

"Guess I'll tell you the short version of the story in that case," he replied as he kept a straight face and looked around at the nearly empty street. "A friend of mine, if you could call him that, came to me shortly after you all arrived here. Julie, who was normally known as Juliet until recently, was once a Slayer. About forty years ago, she was sired by a vampire she later staked for betraying her. That's another story on its own and not one I'm here to tell you. The thing about Juliet," Angel paused as Faith shakily dug her pack of cigarettes out of her pocket and lit one. "Her and her family, they are...I can't say much more other than there was an immortality spell cast upon them when they first arrived in Cleveland."

"How long ago?"

"About a hundred years ago."

"And how the hell doesn't anybody else know about this?"

"I know because this friend of mine," Angel said as he turned to look back out at the street, "used to be close with Juliet. Her time as a Slayer was never documented. Back then, back before the immortality spell was cast upon her and her family, the Council was ill-informed and believed she was dead."

"So, if they believed she was dead, there had to have been another Slayer called, right?"

"She did die, or at least the essence of her soul had died, when the spell was cast. I can get into those details later when I talk to Giles. I need to tell you about what is about to happen here. This has to do with the barrier that has been cast around the Hellmouth. It wasn't Juliet's mother who cast the spell. It was Juliet. She cast the spell shortly after she was turned. The reasons why she did, I'm afraid we'll never know."

"Shit," Faith breathed out as she turned to look at him. "So, lemme get this straight: Julie is some immortalized Slayer who's also a vampire, not to mention a very fuckin' powerful witch on top of all that? Answer me one question then, Angel. How the hell is it she can walk out in the day without bursting into fucking flames?"

"Let's keep walking," Angel said quietly as the group of vampires that had been in the bar came out onto the street. "You are aware of the gem of Amara?"

"Wasn't that destroyed?"

"Yes and no. There were twelve pieces of the original gem itself. Yeah, it was news to me too when I found out. Somehow, Juliet got her hands on one of the pieces. While she has it, you have to understand just how dangerous she really is. You won't be able to kill her while she wears the gem, Faith. While she has this, she is basically rendered invincible."

"Why tell me first? Shouldn't you have gone to Giles or Buffy?"

"All I know is there's a...bond there because of the Slayer essence. The details there weren't too specific."

"Who told you this? A _friend_? What, not gonna tell me who this friend of yours is that gave you all this information?"

"Faith...there was a vision. You're the one who is going to be the one that stops Juliet from trying to open the Hellmouth once she's broken down the barrier."

"How?"

"Don't know," Angel replied quietly as they came to a stop just outside the cemetery gates. "You need to be prepared for this. You need to keep your cool, you hear me, Faith? Don't let her get to you, don't let the effects of the barrier control you."

"Control me, how?"

"Empathy. Or at least some form of it you've never had before."

"What?" Faith laughed as she yanked open the iron gates and walked inside the cemetery. "Empathy? You are kidding, right?"

"You're feeling more of it than you ever have in your life and it is because of the Hellmouth."

"Is this...what about Buffy and Kennedy and the others?"

"Buffy is feeling some things as well. Kennedy…" Angel shrugged as he followed her inside the cemetery, "It's having the opposite effect on her. All comes down to the essence of the Slayer you three have inside of you."

"Whatever, Angel. Are you gonna tell me anything useful or what?"

"Do you want to hear this or not?"

"Not, but I don't think you've given me much of a choice, have ya?"

"There are things you need to know to get through this," Angel said as they walked down the gravel pathway, slowly heading deeper into the cemetery. "Juliet...Julie, whatever people are calling her these days, wants to open the Hellmouth in order to gain her powers back. You think she's a powerful witch now? You haven't seen what she is capable of. The barrier spell is backfiring and because you, Buffy, and Kennedy have the essence of a Slayer inside of you, it's affecting you three the most."

"I get that," Faith replied as she stopped him. "What's Buffy feeling then?"

"The ability to love," Angel replied rather solemnly. "Kennedy is feeling the opposite of you two, lack of empathy and love. I'm wondering if it has something to do with her being turned into a Slayer when Willow cast the spell on the scythe."

"How do you know about that?"

"Buffy and Giles filled me in on what went on in those last few hours in Sunnydale. Faith, the effects of the barrier aren't dangerous, but they will be if you let it control your life and the way you think and feel."

"You're saying that everything I've been feeling since I got here, this empathy I feel, it's cos of the barrier around the Hellmouth? Great…and here I thought maybe things were changing. What a crock of fucking shit," she muttered as she kicked over a headstone and watched it crumble to the ground.

"Faith..."

"For once I thought, 'hey, maybe I'm finally changing into a normal fucking human being'. Turns out this is just cos of a spell?" She laughed bitterly as she continued walking down the path. "Whatever, man, at least this makes some kinda sense. I mean, why else would I be feeling all these things I'm feeling? The real me ain't capable of it."

"Faith...would you listen to me for a minute?" Angel said as he stopped her from walking away from him. "From what I know, even after the barrier spell is broken you will still feel this way and think this way. Nothing is going to strip that from you. You need to know that this could help you in the end."

"Help me? _Help_ me?! How the fuck is having a big fucking dose of empathy going to help me?"

"Because the barrier spell, as unstable as it is, brings out what the person most seeks in life. You want to feel, you want to be able to connect with others, and because you lacked enough empathy before, you've been given that. With Buffy, I'm sure I don't have to go on about her love life to explain why she's been given the ability to love."

"Some fucking spell," she muttered under her breath as she stepped away from Angel. "What else did you come all the way up here for? Was that it? To warn me about Julie and her family?"

"To tell you the truth about Julie and her family. You need to stop her, Faith. You're the only one who can."

"Ever hear of a phone?" Faith asked, pulling her stake out of her back pocket as she heard footsteps just around the corner behind the row of tall bushes. "You really did come up here to see Buffy, didn't you?"

"No, I came to see you."

"Right," Faith laughed, motioning for him to follow as the footsteps grew nearer. "Like I'm gonna believe that for a second. You and Buffy have this tragic love. Just face it, man. You can't stay away from her and you can't stand the fact that she's here now and far away from you."

"Why do you care so much about Buffy?"

"Loaded question," Faith said under her breath. "Why the fuck ya think, Angel?"

"You think I didn't smell her all over you last night? I didn't come here for this and I sure as hell didn't expect to...find out about you and Buffy like this either..."

"Wait, man, me and Buffy? There is no 'me and Buffy'. Why don't ya get the facts straight?"

"I can see right through your lies," Angel said coldly as he grabbed onto her arms and forced her to look up at him. "You don't see it, do you? The barrier spell and the effects it is causing. Its making you feel for her, Faith."

"It ain't making me feel anything I didn't feel before," she said under her breath as she pushed him away from her. "Yeah, you heard me. Make whatever the hell ya wanna make outta that."

"You love her, don't you?"

"Love?" Faith laughed as she shook her head and shrugged. "Who the hell knows? I've never loved anyone before. And...god, I don't know why we're even talking about this."

"You do," Angel stated as three vampires stepped out of the shadows behind the bushes. "Even a blind man would be able to see it, Faith."

"Can we talk about this after we deal with them?" Faith asked as she eyed the three vampires approaching them quickly.

She didn't let what she and Angel had been talking about distract her. Much. The vampires were careless, they were sloppy with their punches, and she had two of them dusted before Angel could get his hands on the third one. Her heart was racing, not just because of the quick fight, but because she felt Buffy near. She tossed her stake towards Angel and watched as he grappled with the vampire and staked him without much more of a fight.

Angel spotted Buffy first and tossed the stake back to Faith as he dusted off his clothes. He said nothing to Faith as Buffy approached them slowly; her eyes open wide in shock to see Angel there with Faith. Nobody said a word as Buffy came to a stop a few feet in front of them. Faith could only take a few steps back, knowing without having to be told that Angel and Buffy needed time to talk alone.

"Where's Ken?" Faith asked Buffy, watching her as she avoided all eye contact with her. "B? Where's Ken at?"

"Already headed back home," Buffy replied calmly as she looked up at Angel. "What are you doing here?"

"Long story."

"Then tell me."

"I'm just gonna...go," Faith said, mostly to herself as she walked away from the two of them. She looked back only once and saw the two of them not saying a word to each other as they stared each other down.

The walk back to the house took her longer than it should have. She was thinking of all the things Angel had said to her. The one thing that bothered her was the mention of love. The empathy thing was bothering her too and she was angry she hadn't been able to pick up on the signs that something wasn't right. She knew she felt like something was off, but definitely didn't think it'd be anything like this. She didn't want to feel this way anymore, she didn't want to _think_ this way anymore.

Kennedy was sitting out on the front steps waiting for her. Faith just let out a soft sigh as she sat down next to her. She didn't need to hear it; she already knew that Kennedy knew Angel was there. Kennedy was fidgeting with her stake, looking over at Faith and back down to the ground repeatedly, looking as if she wanted to say something yet wasn't so sure what to say.

"You knew Angel was here, didn't you?" Kennedy asked quietly as she stared down at the ground. Faith didn't say anything. She didn't have to. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"He didn't want anyone to know he was here yet."

"What's he here for?"

"Stuff is going down with the Hellmouth and Julie," Faith replied with a shrug. "Long story. Sure he'll fill everyone in later."

"Faith?" Kennedy said as she turned to look at her. "Julie isn't..."

"Isn't what?"

"Human, is she?"

"No."

"I knew it," Kennedy said, laughing incredulously as she tossed her stake to the ground. "So, what's the deal then, Faith? What are we facing this time?"

"Slayer-vampire-witch-whatever the fuck she is hybrid, I dunno. Angel and I were talking, we were interrupted by three vamps, and Buffy showed up right after that. Didn't get the chance to talk about anything else."

"Wait, is this the one that—"

"Yeah. Pretty fucked up, ain't it?"

"Then what's the deal with Henry and the rest of the family?"

"Got hit by some immortality spell years back. The most fucked up thing is the fact that we're nothing if we go up to face Julie. Nothing. She wears a piece of the gem of Amara. She's invincible while she wears it."

"Shit, Willow told me about that. Wasn't it destroyed?"

"Thought so myself. Angel tells me there were twelve pieces and our new very bestest friend has one of them. We're so fucked if she..." Faith sighed as she shook her head, not even wanting to think of what could possibly happen if Julie ultimately decided to try to open the Hellmouth to get her powers back.

"If she what?"

"If she tries to open the Hellmouth. Keep up, Ken," Faith laughed as she nudged Kennedy with her shoulder before getting up from the steps.

"Are you heading in?"

"Yeah. Don't feel like being out here like a sitting duck if anything comes around lookin' for a snack."

"Isn't that when we—"

"You're missin' the point, Ken."

"Oh. I get it. You don't want to be around when Angel and Buffy come to the house, right?"

Faith just shrugged as she headed for the front door, not bothering to say another word since she knew Kennedy knew what she was thinking without any words having to be said. She passed by the living room where Giles, Willow, Dawn and Andrew were sitting around watching TV. Giles had his nose buried in a book, as usual, and he was the only one who looked up at Faith as she walked past and into the kitchen.

She opened the refrigerator door and almost grabbed a bottle of beer, but after a moment of hesitation grabbed a cold can of Coke instead and slammed the door shut. She stood there in the nearly dark kitchen and leaned against the counter as she sipped her drink while listening to the sounds of the TV flowing through the house. They were watching the news and the newscaster was talking about the tragedy of Sunnydale. A sinkhole, they called it, that swallowed up the whole town without warning. It made her scoff. If only people really knew what had happened.

It made her wonder what things would be like _if_ the general public knew just went bump in the night. If they knew how many times Buffy and the others had saved the world and how many more times they might, until the day their luck ran out and someone else would take over for them. How many times had _she_ helped save the world? Only a couple times that she could think of; the fight against the First and its army of Turok-Han, and those ugly Sisters of something-or-other the night she popped Xan-man's cherry. It made her wonder what that made her. Was she nothing but a second rate Slayer seeking redemption and acceptance in the arms of people who never cared about her before?

She stayed there in the kitchen even when she heard Buffy and Angel come inside. The TV was turned off and she listened as Angel told them everything he'd told her. She knew she should be in there with all of them, listening to the things Angel was saying for a second time. She just couldn't be bothered to move from the spot she stood in.

"Hey, whatcha doin' in here?" Xander asked as he flipped on the lights. "Faith? Don't you think you should be out there with the others listening to—"

"Heard the tale already," she said as she cut him off. Xander nodded and grabbed a beer out of the fridge. "What do you think of all of this?"

"Knew something wasn't right around here. Never know what to expect when you live near a Hellmouth."

"Especially with one that has this fucked up barrier spell that's affecting us," Faith muttered as she hoisted herself up onto the counter. "Oh, Angel didn't get to that part yet? Damn. Better hurry on back in there, Xander. Don't wanna miss the best parts."

"Faith, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"That's what I'd like to know."

"You knew Angel was here before tonight, didn't you?" Xander asked, keeping his voice low as he moved to stand closer to her. "You did, didn't you?"

"So what if I did? What the hell difference does it make?"

She knew she was being a bitch, but she had her reasons. With Angel coming back when he did, telling her the things he told her, it was making her head spin and making her want to try and find a piece of herself still left under everything she'd changed into. A lot of the changes she knew had evolved in the time she'd spent in prison, but the other changes, feeling so much—too much—wasn't what she was used to and she knew it wasn't who she really was deep down inside.

Xander just sighed as he cracked open his beer and took a sip as he leaned against the counter next to her. She watched him as he picked at the label on the bottle for a few minutes, lost deep in his own thoughts, probably just as deep as she was lost in her own. He turned to her and let out another sigh before he walked out of the kitchen and left her sitting there alone.

This made her feel just as she had her whole life—always just there on the outside and never truly a part of whatever everyone else was a part of. Once a loner, most likely always a loner. She closed her eyes and she could only faintly hear those whispers of the names she'd been called throughout her entire life, loser being the one that hurt the most. The voice she heard saying it was Buffy and she knew that's why it hurt so much. Even though she was certain Buffy didn't see her like that anymore, the voice—the venom and hate and disgust in her voice—still rang through her mind.

Things quieted down in the living room and she looked up as Buffy walked into the kitchen, her face expressionless but her eyes telling a different story as she walked over. Faith hopped down from the counter, but before she could even get a word out Buffy punched her square in the jaw. She stood there, hands on her hips and an eyebrow arched angrily, as Faith recovered from the blow.

"I knew you lied to me last night."

"Fuck, B...what the hell? So you think punchin' me is gonna what, make it all better? Didn't we move past all o' this?"

"You knew Angel was here and you didn't tell me."

"Whatever, B. He didn't want anyone else to know he was here. Whaddya want me to say? Ya want me to say I'm sorry that I kept my word with him and lied to you about it?"

"No," Buffy said as she stepped closer to Faith and reached out for her. Faith just flinched back as she rubbed her sore jaw. "I think with everything that's going on...especially between us...I'm a little all over the place."

"A little?"

"Fine, a lot," Buffy laughed softly as she reached out for Faith again. This time she didn't flinch or move away and she let Buffy take her hand away from her jaw, watching as she delicately ran her fingers over the place her fist had just collided with moments before. "I'm sorry."

"Not a big deal. Kinda wondered when that right hook of yours would find my face again," Faith said easily, trying to pass it off as if it really wasn't a big deal. "It's what we do, how we are. No need to apologize for that shit."

"No," Buffy said as she shook her head and took both of Faith's hands in her own. "I'm sorry about the other day. We keep going back and forth and right when we take a few steps forward, we fall right back to square one. Why do we do that?"

"Dunno, B."

"We both know what we want and I know we want the same things. Look at what we face every day. This," Buffy said as she moved closer to her, "is one thing that we shouldn't be afraid of."

"B..."

"Just because we shouldn't be afraid of it doesn't mean we aren't," Buffy said, smiling up at her as she backed her up against the counter. "No matter what is going on right now, I don't want to miss my chance with you."

"Not goin' anywhere, B. I told ya that already, didn't I?"

Buffy nodded her head as she leaned in and gave her a soft kiss. "Just making sure, Faith. I've seen this other side of you and yes, I know all of your old sides too and that fake persona you put on show for everyone who pretty much just looks at you."

"Buffy..."

"Just listen to me for a minute," she said as she shushed her. "I know you have your doubts, your fears—whatever it is—when it comes to what is happening between us. I know you're afraid of this. You think I'm not afraid of it too, just a little bit? And you know something? I really hate repeating myself like we have a few times already, but I know what I feel and I know what I want and no, I'm not _that _afraid. A little unsure of some things, yeah, but definitely not afraid."

"What did Angel say to you?"

"Faith? Can we please not change the subject?"

"Sorry."

"What I'm trying to say is no more asking why we're doing what we're doing," Buffy said softly as she wrapped Faith's arms around her waist and then trailed her hands back up those arms, coming to rest on the other woman's shoulders. "Let's just...do it, no questions asked."

"Do it?" Faith chuckled as she wiggled her eyebrows. "Right here, B? With everyone in the other room? Didn't know you were into that."

"Faith," Buffy groaned in mock annoyance as she swatted her shoulder. "Can you please try to be serious right now?"

"See this?" Faith asked. She tried valiantly to keep a straight face but couldn't quite fight off a smirk. "This is me being serious."

"You get what I'm saying, though, don't you?"

"You just wanna do this, right?"

"Yes."

"How, exactly? Cos I'm gonna tell ya again that you got no idea what you're gettin' yourself into with me, B."

"I think I have a pretty clear idea," Buffy said with a sly smile that made Faith's heart race wildly out of control. Buffy leaned in, kissing her neck softly as she trailed her lips to her ear and whispered, "I want you to stop holding yourself back with me. I want you to show me just what I am getting myself into with you."

"Don't you think we should..."

"Should what?"

"Focus on this shit that's goin' down first before we...get into this together?"

"Faith, we're already past 'getting into this'. This whole thing started when I kissed you, maybe even before that, I don't know. What I do know is that _this_ has started and that we have to stop asking ourselves all these questions all the time. You ever think that we can't find the answers we're looking for because the questions we're asking aren't the right ones?"

"Maybe. As much as I'd like to forget everything that Angel told me tonight, we can't," Faith said, sighing out softly as Buffy dropped her arms from around her and stepped away. "We have to do what we're s'posed to do first. Deal with this shit that's goin' on then we can do this—it."

"We're..."

"Don't say _it_," she said as she stopped Buffy from continuing. "Let's just figure it out before we start putting a label on it."

"Faith?" Buffy said as she slowly walked backwards towards the doorway. "I meant what I said before, you know about how I just want to be close to you."

"Gettin' pretty far away from me now, B."

Buffy just smiled at her as she turned and walked out of the kitchen. Faith just stood there leaning against the counter grinning like a love-struck fool. Not for a minute did she forget what Angel had told her, yet it didn't stop her from letting that feeling just wash over her. She still stood there smiling when Buffy walked back into the kitchen a minute later.

"Drinks. That's what I came in here for before," Buffy said as she opened the refrigerator door. "Kind of, you know, forgot once we—"

Faith just casually reached out, grabbing on to her hand before she could reach inside and pulling her close. Buffy moved in quicker than she had, capturing her lips in a hard, heated kiss. The force with which Buffy spun and pinned Faith up against the fridge was almost bruising, more surprising for Faith than anything. She could feel Buffy's heart beating just as quickly as her own was, but before she had the chance to turn the tables, pin Buffy up against the fridge or the wall near it, Buffy just pulled back from the kiss slowly.

"I really should..." Buffy said as she motioned to the refrigerator. "And you should..."

Faith found one little ounce of self-control not to grab onto Buffy and continue where they'd left off. She followed Buffy into the living room and sat in the only empty seat, the chair she always sat in. Buffy looked around the room for a moment before sitting on the arm of the chair Faith sat in. She hardly paid any attention as Angel talked about what he knew when it came to Julie and her family and the Hellmouth.

She did notice the way that Kennedy looked over at the two of them with the biggest shit-eating grin on her face. In fact, once she got out of the little bubble she found herself in just being so close to Buffy, she realized that everyone was looking over at them except for Angel and Giles. Buffy hardly seemed to notice. She was too busy paying attention to what Angel and Giles were talking about. Faith knew she should be paying attention as well, but her eyes drifted along Buffy's back and to the skin that was tantalizingly on display. She reached out slowly and began tracing small patterns over Buffy's lower back, feeling her shiver slightly under her fingertips.

She snapped out of it and looked over at Angel as he told everyone what she'd already heard about the barrier spell and the effect it was having on her, Buffy, and Kennedy simply because they were Slayers and bore the essence that the spell fed off of. The heat she felt coming from Buffy's skin was distracting and she wanted nothing more than to pull her down off the arm of the chair and into her lap. She knew Buffy probably wouldn't be okay with her doing that, especially not in front of Angel, so she bit her lip and moved her hand away slowly.

More than anything, she wanted things to go back to where they'd been before Angel had shown up. She wanted to feel like things were easier than they ever had been since she'd been called as a Slayer. She wanted to go back to the night she first met Julie and stop herself from jumping into bed with her and her boyfriend. She wanted to go back to the second time she'd been with Julie since just thinking about how easily she'd been tempted made her feel guilty, dirty like a whore.

The room fell quiet after a little while and Angel told them he'd be back the next night if he heard from the friend who had given him this information. Faith could only watch as Buffy stood up and walked Angel to the door. She strained to hear what they were talking about, but only heard the whispers in her own head that she'd been trying so hard to ignore. Just when she thought that the night was winding down, she saw Buffy and Angel being flung from the front door and down the hallway.

"Well, well," Julie laughed as she came inside. "Isn't this cosy? Everyone is sitting around discussing little old me. Care to share the web of lies your friendly vampire is telling you?"

Faith tackled her before she could take another step and they went flying backwards and down the front steps. Julie laughed sadistically as she threw Faith off of her and stood up. She looked down at Faith, a cruel smile curling over her lips as she dusted off her clothes and offered Faith a hand. Faith swatted her hand away as she quickly got up from the ground and grabbed Julie by the throat. The anger and the adrenaline were coursing through her veins at an alarming rate and she was breathing heavily as she struggled not to lose it completely. Now wasn't the time to fight Julie.

It wasn't time and Faith knew even if she _did_ try, she wouldn't be able to take her down. Julie just blew her a kiss and pushed her back before she ran off into the night. Faith just stood there waiting in case she came back. Angel was the first to come outside and he pulled Faith into the house with a little bit of a struggle. She was angry, really angry, and she saw a bit of fear in Angel's eyes when she pushed him away. Things were definitely about to get very interesting and she knew that silent promise she'd made to herself would become more than just a promise. It'd become the drive that led her to killing Julie in the end.

Angel had said it would be her that would be the one to end this, to end whatever Julie had planned. She knew that Julie would eventually try to open the Hellmouth once the barrier spell was broken in order to gain her powers back. She knew if that happened they would definitely have less of a chance of stopping her. She was already not just a vampire, but a Slayer and a powerful witch protected by the Gem of Amara. If she ever fully regained her original power, it'd be next to impossible to kill her.

The fact that Julie was already close to invulnerable wasn't going to stop Faith from trying, though. She was a Slayer and she was made to fight this kind of evil and to prevent it from taking over the world. She could only hope she'd be strong enough in the end to get through this in one piece. Her personal life would have to be put on the backburner while she figured out how to end this with Julie and her family. But for now, she was going to let it slide. She'd go work for Henry, hoping she could keep her head down and play along with their game, one idea planted firmly in the front of her mind: Keep your friends close and your enemies even closer.


	16. Chapter 16

Faith had a firm and smug smile on her face when she walked through the doors of Henry's bar shortly before noon. After everything Angel had told them and after Julie's drop-in at the house, she knew what she had to do and couldn't let it faze her. They needed as much information as she could get freely from Henry, his wife, the bar's regular patrons, and Julie.

"Faith," Henry nodded as she approached him. "Right on time."

She just nodded and walked behind the bar. He rambled on about what she was expected to do and she just nodded her head, barely listening to a word he was saying as her eyes scanned the dimly lit bar. While it wasn't unusual for a bar to have blacked-out windows, she now noticed that the few free-standing tables were located well away from the door and any sunlight it might let in. Three vampires sat in a booth in the far corner and she had felt them watching her every move since she opened the door.

"Who're they?" Faith asked, interrupting Henry mid-sentence. "They come around a lot?"

"Oh, yes," Henry nodded, not even bothering to look over at the vampires in the corner. "Just serve them. This place is friendly for all as long as no blood is spilt and I would very much like to keep it that way."

"I won't have a problem with them if they don't have a problem with me," she said through clenched teeth, the smile fading as she stared the vampires down.

"They just want a drink," Henry mumbled under his breath as he walked away from her.

"Right."

Faith looked over at Henry as he spoke with his brother Sam. He hadn't looked over at her and yet she could just _feel_ his eyes on her. He and Henry spoke quietly for a moment in a language she didn't recognize, causing her to roll her eyes as she turned to look around the bar once again, eyeing the three vampires that continued to stare at her.

Two of the three were men with dark hair and even darker eyes. The third was a woman with striking features, jet-black hair, and steel blue eyes. Faith felt like she'd seen her before, there was some sort of familiarity there, but she quickly tore her eyes away from them as she heard Henry walking back over to her. He looked over at the three vampires before letting out a soft sigh.

"They are Julie's...friends, if you can call them that," he said quietly. "You do not charge them for whatever you serve them."

"Fine," she replied as she shrugged. "What else do I need to know?"

"Of course you already know that most of my customers are those you'd slay outside of here. Inside, however," he said, speaking in a voice barely above a whisper, "they are to be treated as nothing more than another customer."

"Gotcha."

"I'll need you here on the days we discussed the other night from noon to a little after four. Just to start and then we'll see," he said with a warm smile as he patted her on the shoulder. "One more thing: No drinking on the job and no breaks unless I am here to tend to the customers. Any problems, you can find me in the back in my office."

He gave her a quick nod before he turned and headed for the door marked private. As soon as he disappeared inside and the door was shut behind him, the woman vampire rose and slowly approached the bar, her eyes boring into Faith's with every step that she took. She sat on the stool and grinned at Faith as she beckoned her to come closer.

"I'm Vera," she said softly, her voice husky as she leaned forward. "You are Faith, I assume?"

"What can I get you?"

"A moment of your time," she responded as she reached out for Faith's hand before she could step back. "Just a moment, Slayer. That's all I'm asking."

"What do you want, _Vera_?"

"Short for Veronica."

"If you say so," Faith replied, laughing dryly as she pulled her arm from her tight grasp. "Your moment is passing."

"It doesn't even make any sense, does it?" Vera laughed, ignoring Faith as she scraped her long fingernails across the top of the bar. "The boys and Juliet started calling me that once I was sired. Some things just _stick_, you know what I mean?"

"Tick, tock...patience is running low here. You wanna talk, or you gonna keep spoutin' useless shit I ain't interested in hearing?"

"I can't get to know the new girl? I'm hurt."

Faith just laughed as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Can see why you're 'friends' with Julie. You're just like her."

"You see them?" Vera asked as she motioned back to the two vampires still sitting at the table. "The one on the left is Nick. You've already become," she paused as she looked Faith up and down for a second, "acquainted with James. Shame you turned Nick and I down. We could have shown you a better time."

"If that's what you're here for, I'm not interested."

"That's right. The other Slayer," Vera tittered as she shook her head and let out a very exaggerated sigh. "She's quite...famous, isn't she?"

"Whatever."

"Are you—wait, no," Vera laughed as she stood up from the stool and leaned over the counter. "I know what you are to her. Second best. Nothing more than her...sidekick…who has already turned bad once. Oh yes, I know all about you too, Faithy. Funny how word spreads fast among my kind."

"If you don't want anything then..."

"Look at you," she smirked as she reached out and grabbed onto Faith's jaw roughly. "All reformed former bad girl. Tsk, such a shame. What a waste."

Faith clenched her jaw, biting back the blinding anger she felt boiling deep inside of her. The Slayer in her was begging to reach for the stake in her jacket she had yet to take off, but she didn't move. She barely blinked until Vera let go. She had to keep reminding herself why she was here. Her reasons now were more than just needing a job and she needed to stay in the game, keep her head and her sanity, and keep her anger firmly under control.

She thought back to the last thing Giles had said to her before she left the house. He wanted her to keep her eyes and ears open, play the 'game' Julie had set up and hope to hell that Henry wasn't aware of Julie's drop in at the house the night before. If she was to be going to have a chance at stopping Julie, she had to get as much information as she could about her and the...things that associated with her along with her family especially. She could play this game, even with someone like Vera now in the mix.

"Good Slayer," Vera whispered as she stepped away from the bar. "We'll have another pitcher of...the red tap."

"What's in the red tap?"

"What do you think?" Vera asked, laughing as she walked back to the booth and sat down.

Faith grimaced as she grabbed a clean pitcher and pulled the red handle, watching as the thick, dark blood filled it slowly. She tried not to cringe at the smell and the look of it as she walked over to the table and placed it down in front of the three vampires. She flashed a cool smile at the three of them as she picked up the empty pitcher and headed back behind the bar. She wasn't sure how much she'd be able to take and she really wasn't sure how long she'd be able to keep up the façade.

Faith placed the empty pitcher in the small sink and filled it with hot water, her eyes never leaving Vera or the other two sitting at the booth. She was startled by Sam as he slammed his hand down on top of the counter. Forcing a smile, she walked over to him where he then ordered a tall glass of ice water with a shot of vodka on the side. She watched him eyeing her up and down as she filled his glass with ice and water and placed it in front of him. She scanned the bottles lined up on the shelves behind her and picked up the only bottle of vodka she spotted.

"I keep telling that dear old brother of mine that he needs to stock this place better," Sam said, laughing dryly as Faith placed a shot glass in front of him and poured him his shot of vodka. "What's the Slayer doing working in a dive like this?"

"Need the money."

"I could have offered you something a little more...substantial than this," Sam said as took a sip of his ice water. He reached inside his jacket pocket and pulled out a business card. "Call me if you want to make some serious cash, Slayer."

"Not sure I even wanna ask what I'd hafta do for it."

Sam motioned for her to come a little closer and he lowered his voice as he spoke, "I'm not sure you are aware of this, but the law around here are quite aware of the supernatural beings that roam the city. You ever wonder how they keep things under moderate control?"

"How?"

"A couple of more experienced officers have been, let's say...'highly trained' when it comes to controlling the creatures that roam during the night."

"So, you want to pay me for doing what I'm already doing every night? What's the catch?"

"There really is no catch," Sam chuckled. "The only thing is, my niece and her friends," he said as he motioned to the three vampires that still sat at the booth, "are to be left alone. You think you could handle that?"

"What about Buffy and Kennedy?"

"The others?" Sam asked, shrugging. "Have them come in to the station with you tonight. I'm sure we can work out a fair salary for the three of you."

Faith didn't like this. Something seemed a little too fishy about the whole thing, but in her mind she was thinking one thing. She was being offered a _salary_ to be a Slayer. The problem, of course, was that she didn't trust Sam. There was just something about him she _still_ couldn't quite figure out. Sam tapped on the counter to get her attention again and he smiled a wickedly sweet smile that made her cringe.

"But really, it'd be best if it was just you alone that shows up at the station tonight. The less that know about this arrangement, the better it is in the long run. You do understand, don't you?"

"Sure."

"I'm sure a young woman such as yourself would like to be independent. Such a thing is hard to do when you live with the others, is it not?"

"Yeah, what about it? It ain't like I can afford a place of my own here," she replied.

"I could help you with that, if you like. You come and work for me and the boys and I can set you up with a nice apartment not too far from here."

"Sounds too good to be true."

"It's been a good long while since we've had a decent Slayer here. It wouldn't be too much to offer you whatever it is you need in exchange for your...services."

Faith reached out, grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, and pulled him partly over the counter. "I'm gonna ask you one more time. What's the fuckin' catch, Sam?"

"I told you, Julie and her _friends_ are to be left alone. Everything else is free for all. Now," Sam said as he pried her hands from his shirt, "are you interested in working for me and the boys or would you rather work in this dive for god knows how long?"

"I'll give it a shot," she replied after she thought for a moment. "What time do you want me to show up tonight?"

"Before the sun sets. We'll go over a quick briefing with you before we send you out."

"One problem, Sam," she sighed as she crossed her arms over her chest. "I do things _my_ way, not anyone else's way. And the others, Buffy and Kennedy, _are_ in on this. I'm not doing this alone."

Sam just nodded his head wearily at her and she smiled sweetly at him. She watched him as he downed his shot of vodka and drank the rest of his ice water. He placed a twenty dollar bill on the counter and left without another word. She knew what Sam was offering her came with a catch he wasn't going to easily tell her. For him to say that she had to leave Julie and her friends alone made her wonder just how involved he was with his own niece and with whatever plans she had to open the Hellmouth. She'd find out whether she found someone willing to talk about it or not.

She glanced at the clock and groaned when she saw only half an hour had passed. It was going to be one very long, slow, and boring afternoon.

****

Faith looked down at the small business card Sam had given her as she stood outside the large building. From the looks of it, the place was Cleveland's police headquarters and just being around so many cops made her nervous. She shrugged as she walked up the steps and opened the door. With a deep breath, she walked inside and immediately spotted Sam and a few officers standing near the elevators. Unknown to Sam, she'd gone back to the house and spoken to Giles before she headed for the station. Giles told her to go at this alone after all and to keep the others in the dark about what she was getting herself into.

"_Play the game, Faith. Keep your head clear, your ears and eyes open, and play their game."_

Everything was just a game. Life was a game and she knew she was just one of many pawns the fates, the Powers that Be—whatever was out there—used to play the game of life. She took yet another deep breath and forced a smile as she approached Sam and the two officers standing next to him. Sam just nodded at her and motioned for her to follow him into the elevator.

"I'm glad you decided to show up," he said softly as the two officers stepped into the elevator with them. "This if Officer Perry and Officer Marshall. They are in charge of the force that controls the demon population. We'll brief you on the basics and..."

"Just point me to where ya want me," Faith said as the elevator doors closed. She looked at the two officers, both of them in their mid-thirties, both wearing wedding rings, and both looked like they were in the best shape of their lives. "Which one of you is Perry?"

"I am," the taller one said as he reached out and shook her hand. "Faith, is it?"

"Yeah."

"You got a last name, Faith?" Marshall asked as he eyed her up and down slowly.

"Lehane."

"So, you're a Slayer?" Perry asked as the elevator came to a stop and the four of them stepped out. "You know how long it's been since we've had a Slayer here?"

"Too long," Marshall said before Faith could respond. "Come on, Lehane. Let's get you set up with some gear and send you out. Soon as we get through the briefing, of course."

She forced another smile, hating that she was willingly playing along with their games and not having a damn clue how things would end up. She followed them through a series of corridors to a large room behind a heavy steel door. There were racks of uniforms, all black, and the weapons—god, the weapons made her nearly cream in her jeans when she saw just how many were there and organized in a way that she knew if Giles saw it he'd be both pleased and jealous. Perry led her over to the rack of uniforms and looked her over once more before pulling one off the hanger.

"Oh hell no," she laughed as she shook her head. "I'll work with ya, but I won't wear _that_."

"It's—"

"I don't give a shit," she said to Perry as she grabbed the hanger from him and placed it back on the rack. "Look, I'm a Slayer. I don't need nothin' to protect me other than a couple stakes, maybe a nice sharp knife. Crossbow is optional, depending on the sitch."

"Faith?" Sam called out from where he stood by a large table with Marshall. "If you would join us, we can get started."

"So, what's the deal here, Sam?" Faith asked as she joined him and Marshall and looked down at the map of the city spread out on the table. "We just kill 'em, right?"

"Yes," he laughed. "What else would we do with them? Bag 'em, tag 'em, experiment on 'em?"

"Wouldn't surprise me if you did," she muttered under her breath. "Long story, one which I really don't know the details of."

"We've highlighted the red areas with the most activity," Sam explained as he pointed to the very same areas Giles and Xander had highlighted that first night before they'd gone out on patrol. "Perry and Marshall will take you around, but after tonight you'll be on your own. We do shifts of five hours a night, give or take, depends on the amount of activity that's going on. At the end of each shift, you are to come back here and fill out a detailed report."

"Paperwork?" Faith scoffed as she shook her head. "I don't do paperwork."

"It is just to keep track of things," Sam said calmly. "Now, the weapons," he said as he motioned to the rows of hardware behind them, "you may take what you need for the night and at the end of each shift you must return them here. Lost or damaged weapons are to be reported in your nightly detailed report. You will be paid every night as soon as your report has been filed. Any questions?"

She had a lot of questions, but knew that asking them would cause the others to look at her suspiciously. She just shook her head no and smiled brightly over at Perry and Marshall as they stared long and hard at her.

"I do have one question," she said as soon as Perry and Marshall had gone off to gather a few weapons for themselves. "You said something about an apartment?"

"Ah yes," Sam smiled as he reached into the front pocket of his blazer. "It's not much. Fully furnished and most of the rent is covered by ah...the city, if you must know. There are other officers on this force and each one has been provided with housing that suits their lifestyle. Seeing how I'm not familiar with yours, I hope it'll suit your needs."

"Great. Whatever. Where is the place?"

"Perry will take you there before you head out on patrol. I'm glad you've decided to come on board, Faith. We could really use a Slayer around here to help us out."

"Hey, long as I'm gettin' paid you'll have as much help as you can stand."

"You mentioned the others earlier," Sam said as he followed her to the first row of weapons, knives of every shape and size. "Were they not interested?"

"Nah," she said as she shook her head and reached for the first knife that caught her eye. "Thought I'd give it a go on my own first after all."

"Ah, I see."

"Lehane?" Perry called out from the other end of the room. "You ready?"

"Perry is in charge. You answer to him. Any problems that you run into, you let him know. If you have a problem with him or Marshall, you come to me. Understood?"

"Crystal fuckin' clear."

Faith ran her finger down the blade of the knife she'd picked up and smiled to herself. Weapons always made her blood run a little hotter and the anticipation of using it in a fight was almost too much. Sam left them there in the room after he'd given Faith the key to the apartment. She slipped it into the front pocket of her jeans and waited for Perry and Marshall to finish packing up a bag of weapons. They exited through the double doors that led right into the underground parking garage. Within minutes she was sitting in the back of a black Escalade with Perry behind the wheel and Marshall in the passenger seat next to him.

Everything felt strange to her. She wasn't comfortable working so willingly with people she knew nothing of. They could be evil; there was a very, very high possibility of that, as Giles had warned her. Neither Perry nor Marshall said a word as they came to a stop in front of a small apartment building just a few blocks from the station. Marshall stayed behind as Perry and Faith got out of the Escalade.

"Fifth floor, apartment 5D. Check it out. I'll give you ten minutes, Lehane. Got to get this show on the road."

"Sure," she nodded, forcing a smile as she walked for the main doors. There were two keys on the key ring and she used the bigger one to let herself into the building. There were no elevators, just a set of stairs at the very end of the long hallway.

"Ten minutes, Lehane!" Perry called out as the door shut behind her.

"Yeah, yeah," she muttered under her breath as she walked to the stairs and began the climb up to the fifth floor.

The building, at least the hallways and the stairs, were clean and it was quiet, almost a little _too_ quiet. Faith walked straight to the door with 5D engraved into the dark wood and slipped the key into the lock. She didn't even ask herself if this was what she wanted. She _needed_ this despite whatever would come of her working for Sam, Perry, and Marshall. She ignored the whispered voices in her head that reminded her of her days when she worked for the Mayor. This wasn't the same. Over and over again she tried to convince those whispered voices—the ghosts of the past—that it wasn't. She held her breath as she opened the door and reached inside, feeling for a light switch and smiling to herself when she flicked it on.

"Fuckin' ace," she said under her breath as she stepped inside and shut the door behind her.

The apartment was no bigger than the one the Mayor Wilkins had set her up in. It was mostly open concept with high ceilings, minimal furniture and a small kitchen that looked a little worse for the wear. Before she checked one of three doors along the furthest wall, she walked into the small kitchen and opened the fridge. It was empty aside from a jar of what looked like relish and she let out a soft groan as she slammed the door shut. She walked over to the big floor-to-ceiling window, the only window in the place she could see out of, and looked outside.

"Five minutes!" Perry shouted from the street as she opened the door next to the window and stepped out onto the balcony. "Clock is ticking, Lehane."

She rolled her eyes as she stepped back inside and checked out the bedroom, the bathroom, and the smaller and very empty room that she guessed was a second bedroom. In the bedroom there was a large bed that took up more than half the space and the window behind it was covered with black velvet drapes. Sam might not know her, but this place was almost too perfect for her. Minimalist with just enough space not to feel too snug and cozy in there. She spotted a phone sitting on the end table next to the small couch in the center of the room, but she knew she didn't have time to call Giles to tell him what was going on.

Her only worry now was running into Buffy and Kennedy while she was with Perry and Marshall. She wasn't ready to explain things to them just yet, not when she barely knew herself just what was going on. She didn't feel right about keeping them in the dark, but she really had no other choice. At least that's what Giles had convinced her of and what she was still trying to convince herself of.

She was back down and in the Escalade within her allotted time. Perry looked a little pissed off as she smiled sweetly at him once she was sitting in the back seat. She saw him glare at her as he looked in the rear-view mirror before he drove off. She had to keep her head straight and clear and she was finding it harder to with the flood of thoughts that battled with the whispers in her head.

****

It was nearly three a.m. by the time Faith got back to the house. Patrol with Perry and Marshall had been uneventful aside from the nest of vampires they came across in the warehouse district. They didn't patrol the many cemeteries that littered the city. As Perry had told her, ever since she and her friends had come into town, they'd all avoided the cemeteries in order to avoid the Slayers. They weren't bad guys, but they made it feel more like a chore than her destiny, her calling. And she absolutely hated it.

She found Buffy sitting in the kitchen with the lights off. She saw Buffy look up from the yoghurt she was eating as she walked in and even in the darkness of the kitchen, Faith could see the smile on her face that quickly turned into a scowl.

"Hey, B."

"Where were you?"

"On patrol," Faith replied easily as she opened the fridge and pulled out a cold beer. "What, ya miss me or somethin', B?"

"You forgot, didn't you?"

"Forgot? What the hell did I forget now?"

"Midnight," Buffy said harshly as Faith joined her at the table, choosing to sit across from her rather than next to her. "Glenview cemetery. Ring any bells?"

"Sorry. Got caught up."

"You are such a shitty liar, Faith. I really thought things would be different now."

"Fuck, B," Faith groaned as she twisted off the cap of her beer, took a few swigs, and let out a sharp breath. "It's a long story."

"Oh, it's a story now?"

"Would ya cut it out, B? I didn't come in here to get reamed by you. Been a long fuckin' day and all I wanna do right now is chill out."

"Right, like it hasn't been a long day for all of us," Buffy replied, the sarcasm just dripping from her hushed voice as she visibly struggled to control her anger.

Faith clenched her teeth, too tired to get into it with Buffy now. She really did want to tell Buffy the truth. She wanted to tell her everything, but she knew she couldn't. Not yet. If that meant she had to be branded a 'shitty liar' by Buffy, then so be it. Their relationship had gone through a lot and she figured what was one more thing to add to that long list of everything that went wrong between them.

This was the first time she'd seen Buffy all day and she really hated the fact that Buffy was downright annoyed with her. She thought things were changing between them and that Buffy had seriously pulled that stick out of her ass and lost the bitchy attitude somewhere along the way. It was just one more thing she was wrong about and it didn't make her feel good about anything going on. She wanted to tell Buffy about her day, about the vampires she'd met in Henry's bar, about Sam, Perry, and Marshall. She wanted to tell her about the apartment and the fact that she was getting paid to do what she did best, slay the baddies that roamed the streets at night.

"Sorry about tonight, B," she said softly as Buffy stood up from the table, leaving her barely touched yogurt on the table. "Just got caught up, alright? Won't happen again."

"I've had a really...bad day," Buffy sighed as she grabbed the container and the spoon off the table quickly. "Call me crazy, because I probably am, but yes I did miss you."

"Oh, ya did, huh?" Faith smirked as she stood up and followed Buffy over to the sink. "I knew it."

"Don't be so smug about it," Buffy laughed softly as she tossed the spoon into the sink before she turned to look at her. "Please don't lie to me anymore, Faith. Tell me where you were tonight. You weren't skipping out on patrol again, were you?"

"No, B, I—"

"Then tell me the truth."

Faith sighed as she ran her fingers through her hair. "How much time ya got?"

"As much time as it takes for you to tell me what the hell is going on."

"The cops in this town have a few guys who go out and take out the baddies," Faith said softly, not knowing if that was a good place to start, but it was something. "Kinda workin' for 'em now. Gettin' paid too. And before you give me shit, B," she paused to take a sip of her beer, then placed it on the counter, "Giles knows. I wasn't gonna walk into this alone, but he wanted me to. Gotta play the game right, B. Who the fuck knows what Julie's—"

"You are working for the Cleveland police?" Buffy asked, laughing as she shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest. "You better not be lying to me, Faith."

"Why would I lie about something like that?"

"You'd lie about anything to make yourself look like you're the good Slayer now."

"Fuck you," Faith spat as she grabbed her beer and walked out the back door with Buffy hot on her heels. "You wanted to know so I fuckin' told ya. You want me to get into the dirty details about what we're all getting into?"

"No, _you_ are in this alone, obviously. Why didn't you just tell me what was going on?"

"Didn't have a fucking chance to and besides, Giles said..."

"I don't care what Giles said!"

"Ya wanna keep your voice down, B? Unless you wanna wake up the whole goddamn neighbourhood," Faith muttered under her breath as she walked down to the picnic table and sat down. "Look, the shit I saw and heard today...we have no idea what the fuck is gonna end up happening here. There's a whole lot more to this than what we know."

"Explain one thing to me, Faith—how the hell did you end up working for the cops?"

"Sam hooked me up."

"Sam?"

"Henry's brother."

"Right," Buffy scoffed as she looked away from her. "God, why are we even arguing about this?"

"Hey, you started in on me, B. Besides," Faith smirked as she licked her lower lip and watched as Buffy watched her carefully, "it's what we do."

Buffy just sighed as she sat down next to Faith. "Were you ever going to tell me?"

"About what? About the job...or what?"

"About everything you seem to be getting involved with. I feel like I'm sitting here doing nothing while you..." Buffy trailed off, letting out yet another sigh as she shook her head. "I shouldn't get so worked up over this. It's not like I have to do this on my own anymore. I just...I feel like I've been doing nothing aside from patrol, which you know how it's been so far. Slow. Really, really slow."

"I was gonna tell ya, B. Don't think for one second I wasn't gonna," she said softly as she turned to face her. "How come you had a bad day?"

"It's nothing."

Faith cocked her head to the side as she reached out for Buffy and pulled her closer. Even in the near darkness, with only the pale light from the moon, she could see every inch of Buffy's face. She watched as a string of emotions went through Buffy, each of them easy to see and yet not so easy to figure out.

"Tell me," Faith whispered as she leaned in close to her as if she was about to kiss her. "Tell me and then tell me how I can make it better, B."

"After last night I kind of hoped I'd see you this morning before you left," Buffy said so softly that Faith had to lean in closer to hear her. "It's crazy how...attached I'm getting when it comes to you."

"Nah, it ain't crazy, B. Ya don't see me complaining', do ya?"

Buffy just shook her head and smiled as Faith gently kissed her. What was meant to be just a soft, chaste kiss quickly turned into a wildly wanton kiss that left them both breathless within a matter of minutes. Faith was still feeling the adrenaline from taking out the nest of vampires and she knew that Buffy felt that same ache that she desperately needed to satisfy. Even though she knew she should be focused on Buffy at that moment, her mind began replaying everything that had happened in the last eighteen hours. She pulled back from the kiss, stopping Buffy from trying to continue it, and reached for her beer she'd set down on the table, taking a few small sips.

She flashed Buffy a small, easy smile as Buffy rose and stood there for a moment before leaning down to plant a light kiss on her lips. She whispered goodnight before she turned and walked up to the house. Faith just sat there watching her, staring at the door long after Buffy had disappeared inside. She stayed out there just long enough to finish off her beer before she headed back inside and up to her room. She stopped outside Buffy's door, listening for a moment, and all she heard was the soft, steady breathing that told her Buffy was already fast asleep.

The day just kept on replaying itself in her head as she walked into her room, stripped out of her clothes, and climbed into bed. From the moment she stepped inside Henry's bar, to the moment she met Sam at the police station, to the moment she walked into 'her' apartment, and to the moment where she, Perry, and Marshall stormed in the rundown warehouse and took out the nest of vampires with ease. All those moments in between replayed themselves over, but not necessarily in the same way they had unfolded. She thought of the confrontation she'd had with Perry an hour before they discovered the nest of vampires. He called her irresponsible and she'd called him easily replaceable.

The thing with Vera bothered her. She knew the vampire had a few screws loose and was the pure definition of bat-shit crazy. Why she was letting the nutjob affect her, she really didn't know. She thought that maybe it was the fact that Vera had been sired by Julie. Maybe it was the fact that Vera had so easily gotten to her last nerve with the way she'd spoken to her. To stand there and not be able to just dust her was getting to her too.

She pulled the pillow over her head and tried so hard to quiet the thoughts running rampant through her mind. After an hour of tossing and turning, she gave up and got out of bed, pulled on the clothes she'd worn all day and headed out. She walked the streets without a destination in mind and smoked cigarette after cigarette until the first rays of sunlight began to peek over the horizon. She stopped at the little restaurant she'd been to with Xander just a few days before, relieved that it was already open so early in the morning.

"Coffee, black," she said to the tired looking waitress behind the counter. She sat down on the stool and watched the waitress as she grabbed a mug and poured her a cup of coffee. "Thanks."

She closed her eyes as she took a sip, not caring that it burned her tongue. She felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up and her body hum as she heard the door open. She didn't even need to guess, she knew it was Buffy. She turned and looked at her, smiling as Buffy sat down next to her. All it took was one smile from Buffy and all her worries just seemed to fade away. Not for good, but just for the moment.


	17. Chapter 17

Faith could feel it the whole time she and Buffy sat there side by side, sipping their second coffee. She felt it from the second Buffy had opened the door nearly an hour before. They hadn't said a word since Buffy sat down on the stool next to her and there were there weren't but a few times their eyes would even meet for more than a few seconds at a time. Faith didn't need to hear her say anything, she could just feel it and it was intense—a little _too_ intense for her.

A thousand different scenarios played in her mind of how the rest of the day would play out. The one she was stuck on was thinking of Buffy, of taking her to the apartment and fucking her until they both collapsed on the bed completely sated. It made every inch of her body shiver in hopeless anticipation of that actually happening. Every time she turned to look at Buffy, a fresh wave of arousal washed over her. She kept trying to get that out of her head because she knew that wasn't going to happen, at least not so soon. It caused her to think back to Julie and the first night she was with her and her boyfriend.

Vampires. How the hell didn't she know they were vampires? She knew she'd been completely wasted that first night so it wasn't entirely her fault for not picking up on that fact. Why she was thinking of this _now_, she really didn't know. Her train of thought was unpredictable at times just as her sudden actions and decisions were. She was disappointed in herself for not realizing that she'd been with not one, but two vampires. Angry at herself that she'd still be in the dark about it if that fact hadn't been shoved in her face from another direction.

"You wanna head back to the house?" Faith asked Buffy, breaking the heavy silence between them as she turned on the stool to face her. "B?"

Buffy blinked, snapping out of her own little daze as she turned to look at her. She looked at Faith for a moment before she just nodded her head slowly and stood up from the stool. Faith wanted to ask her what she had come there for, but decided against it as she pulled out a twenty and placed it on the counter. She only smiled at Buffy as she slid off the stool and motioned towards the door.

"Tell me what else I don't know," Buffy said quietly once they were out on the street and headed for the house. "I feel like there's so much I don't know about everything that is going on right now. I don't like being kept in the dark."

"What do ya wanna know, B?"

"Everything you know."

Faith let out a soft sigh as she pulled her pack of cigarettes from her pocket and quickly lit one. "Where do ya want me to start then, B?"

"Start with Julie. You...you slept with her and you didn't know she was a vampire?"

"I was fucking wasted and _that_ is just too fucking freaky, B."

"Why?"

"Cos not even five minutes ago I was thinking almost the same thing," Faith replied, chuckling softly as Buffy raised an eyebrow as she turned to look at her. "Was thinking of fucking _you_ five minutes ago too so don't read into the whole Julie thing too much."

"Who were you thinking of first?"

"You're kidding me, right? You of course," Faith smiled as she watched Buffy's face flush red.

"Faith, we weren't...talking about that," Buffy stammered as she walked close to her. "I want to know everything that you know and I want you to take me with you tonight."

"I'll see what I can do."

"No," Buffy said firmly as she grabbed onto Faith's arm and stopped her from walking any further. "You are taking me with you tonight. You are not doing this alone, Faith."

"Talk to Giles about it and—"

"Giles is _not_ in charge! He does not make all the decisions around here. Each and every one of us is capable of making our own decisions, in case you've forgotten that."

"Come on," Faith said as she grabbed onto Buffy's hand and turned around. "We'll talk about this somewhere private."

She wasn't sure how Buffy would react to finding out she had an apartment. She was still debating whether or not to actually move in there. She did want her space, but she didn't want to cause a rift between her and Buffy, not when they'd gotten this far. She never did like living with other people and although it hadn't been horrible living with Buffy and the others and it did feel like home to her, there was something missing.

Buffy said nothing on the walk to the apartment. She just held onto Faith's hand, their fingers intertwined and Buffy idly stroking her thumb over Faith's every couple of steps that they took. Faith picked up the pace, too tired to take her time, her body just itching for things she figured probably wouldn't happen just yet. It didn't stop her from thinking back to those scenarios she'd thought about while sitting in the restaurant with Buffy at her side. It didn't stop her from thinking of all the different ways she could take her, fuck her, make her come hard and fast. She felt Buffy shiver and she turned to look at her, smiling when she saw the dazed look in her eyes.

The adrenaline she felt from the night before was still there, still as strong as ever, and she needed some form of release. She knew Buffy could sense it too with the way she kept looking over at her as they walked down the street, seemingly lost in their own little world and oblivious to those around them.

"Where are we going?" Buffy asked as she looked around the neighbourhood.

"Uh, my place," Faith replied as she let go of Buffy's hand and stopped in front of the main doors of the apartment building. "Before you say anything, B..."

"You have your own place now? Since when?"

"Yesterday. Sam hooked me up."

"Does that mean you're...moving out of the house?"

"No, B. That's not what it is," she sighed as she pulled the keys out of her pocket and unlocked the main door. "You know how sometimes ya just wanna get away for a little while? Figured I'd use this place for when I needed to be alone."

"Oh."

"And to be alone with you," she whispered as she opened the door and watched as Buffy walked in first.

"Oh," Buffy said again, turning to smile at Faith as she walked in behind her.

Faith just reached for her hand and led her to the stairs. They barely reached the third floor landing before Faith found herself being pinned against the wall with Buffy's lips on her own. Buffy had caught her off guard, but once she gained her senses back she spun her around, pinned her against the wall, and kissed her deeper. She kept it short and pulled back after a few moments, smiling as she looked at a very flushed and out of breath Buffy so close in front of her.

She took Buffy's hand in hers, grinning as she pulled her away from the wall and headed up the rest of the stairs to the fifth floor. She tried not to run despite the ache she felt between her legs as she led Buffy down the long hallway and stopped in front of the door to her apartment. She slid the key into the lock, closing her eyes and inhaling sharply as Buffy ran her free hand down her back slowly. The plan to talk was completely out of the window as soon as they were inside. Buffy had her pinned up against the door once she'd shut it. Buffy's lips devoured her own and she dropped the keys to the floor as she wrapped her arms around Buffy and held her close.

She ignored all the signs she felt that something wasn't right, that they weren't alone, as Buffy's hands roamed over her body freely. She moaned into Buffy's mouth, kissing her deeper as Buffy slowly slid her hand up her stomach and cupped her breast. She felt the uncertainty in Buffy's movements, she felt the nervousness, but it disappeared as Buffy grew a little bolder and rolled her stiffening nipple through her shirt and bra with her fingers. She had her hands firmly gripping Buffy's hips, unable to will herself to move them, to touch her.

"Okay," Buffy breathed as she pulled away from Faith and dropped her hand from her breast slowly. "We should talk since...that's what we came here for...isn't it?"

Faith nodded as she ran her hands just under the hem of Buffy's shirt, revelling in the softness of her skin against her fingertips. "Got all day to talk, B."

"Yes, you've got all day to talk," Julie laughed from where she stood on the other end of the room. "Gee, here I thought I'd get a free show. Always wondered what it'd be like when two Slayers fucked each other 'til they couldn't take it anymore."

"Fuck," Faith hissed under her breath as she looked around Buffy and over at Julie. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"This building," Julie said as she waved her arms around and smiled wickedly as she walked up to both of them. "This whole building belongs to my family. Sam told me he hooked you up with this place and I just had to come check it out for myself. Been a long time since I've come by. Nothing has changed."

"Get out," Faith said through clenched teeth as Buffy moved away from her slowly, her eyes never once leaving Julie as she stood on the other side of her. "Get the fuck out of here now, Julie."

"Hey now, that's not nice, Faithy. Is that any way to treat a guest?" Julie purred as she walked right up to her and pinned her against the door. She had her hands on Faith's shoulders and her long nails dug into her skin even through her clothes. "You know, I was thinking about you last night."

"I don't fuckin' care."

"So, you're working for my uncle Sam now and for my father?" Julie asked. She reached out and shoved Buffy away as she took a step closer. "Stay out of this, Slayer. This is between me and Faithy."

"Don't fucking call me that," Faith growled as she shoved Julie away hard.

"Come on now," Julie laughed as she stood where she was a few feet away from Buffy and Faith. "I thought you were supposed to play nice like an obedient little Slayer? Now," she paused as she pointed to the couch, "sit. The three of us are going to have a nice little chat and once I've said what I came here to say I'll leave you two alone so you can fuck."

Neither Faith nor Buffy moved from where they stood by the door and Julie just shook her head and clicked her tongue against her teeth. She grabbed them both hard and forced them over to the couch and shoved them down. Faith was a little taken back by the amount of strength she had. Nobody ever got the upper hand with her and controlled her this way. Julie just smirked as she sat on the coffee table in front of them and casually folded her hands in her lap.

"Isn't this nice?" Julie mused as she looked at both of them. "Cozy, isn't it?"

"What do you want?" Buffy asked calmly.

"I know the little game you're playing, Faithy," she said, ignoring Buffy as she leaned in towards Faith just a little. "Vera says hello," she teased, casting Buffy a quick look as she laughed.

Faith was pissed yet calm as she sat there thinking of a way to take Julie out. She had already proven to be much stronger than Faith and Buffy. They couldn't take her out toe to toe. She looked over at Buffy and watched her looking at Julie.

"Oh, right. The little chat," Julie said as she stood up and began pacing. She stopped and stared down at Buffy. "I know what you're looking for, but you know what? You aren't going to find it. I'm thinking Faithy knows, though, don't you?"

Faith stood up, grabbed Julie by her neck, and threw her up against the door. She was on edge and wasn't about to let Julie walk all over her. Julie blew her a kiss as she leaned against the door. This was turning into one of the situations Giles had warned her might happen. She needed to keep her cool. The rage inside of her combined with the adrenaline pumping through her veins as her heart raced wildly was close to controlling her. The second she felt Buffy reach out for her hand, she took a deep breath and felt herself grow considerably calmer.

"Now _that_ is interesting," Julie snickered. "Who knew that spell would turn out to be in _my_ benefit for yet another reason?"

"Get out," Faith said as she strode up to Julie and pulled her away from the door as she yanked it open. "Not gonna keep playing this little game of yours."

"Oh but you are, Faithy. You don't even know you're playing it."

Faith just waited for her to step away from the door enough before she slammed it shut. She listened as she heard Julie walk away from the door and she breathed out heavily as she clicked the lock shut and turned around.

"What the...hell, Faith?" Buffy asked softly as Faith sat down on the couch next to her. "You know what? I'm starting to think you have no idea what you've gotten yourself into with them, especially her."

"Thinkin' the same thing myself," Faith replied as she leaned her head against the back of the couch and closed her eyes. "I knew we should've just stayed away from here."

"Talk to me, Faith. Tell me everything you know and don't leave a damn thing out."

Faith waited for a few minutes, listening to make sure that Julie had really left before she told Buffy everything that had happened the day before. Buffy said nothing as she listened to Faith talk quietly and the expression on her face stayed straight the entire time. She told her what happened in Henry's bar and what Henry had told her about leaving Julie's friends alone. She told her about Vera and how much she was like Julie, completely bat-shit crazy. She didn't leave out the fact that not only had she slept with Julie, but she and her vampire boyfriend James had been the ones she'd had that threesome with.

Buffy looked uncomfortable hearing that part so she skipped over having gone to Julie a second time. She went on to tell her about Sam and what happened once she'd met up with him down at the station. She told her what she knew about Perry and Marshall. Buffy stopped her before she could continue any further from that point and shifted on the couch so she faced her with one leg tucked under her and the other casually draped over Faith's knee.

"I've heard enough," Buffy said quietly as she stared straight into Faith's eyes. "Do you think this is going to be better if you are involved with them?"

"What else are we gonna do then, B? We're going on next to nothin' here and all we know is what Angel has told us. Even then, that's not enough."

"I don't want you doing this alone."

"What, do ya think I can't handle it?"

"No," Buffy said as she shook her head. "We should be in on this together."

"Then we'll be in on this together, B."

"Next time just leave out the little details that I really don't want to hear."

Faith just smiled at her as she watched Buffy slowly lean in as if she was about to kiss her. She ran her hand up Buffy's leg that was draped over her own as Buffy's lips lightly brushed up against hers. Faith wanted to get back to where they'd left off before Julie made her presence known. She didn't care that she should be more focused on the real reason behind Julie's unexpected visit, but with the way Buffy kissed her and nibbled on her lower lip before she moved to straddle her fully, she couldn't think of anything else other than her.

"You really think that this is a good idea?" Buffy breathed out as Faith slid her hands under her shirt and raked her nails up her back. "Shouldn't we..."

"Shouldn't we what, B? Not gonna let that bitch fuck up the mood. I know you were feelin' it," Faith breathed into her ear as she moved a hand around to Buffy's stomach and trailed her fingers upwards. "I know you're _still_ feelin' it too."

"I think we should..." Buffy trailed off, biting her lip as Faith bent her head down and bit her hardening nipple through her shirt. "Faith, you gotta stop doing that."

"This?" Faith smirked. She watched Buffy close her eyes as her fingers reached the soft swell of her other breast. She was teasing her, testing the limits of how far Buffy would let her go before she stopped her. She pulled her shirt up, exposing her soft pink bra, then leaned in and sucked her nipple through the thin silky material. "Or this? You sure ya want me to stop, B?"

"No..." Buffy sighed out as she moved her hands up Faith's arms and came to rest on her shoulders. She pushed Faith back and furrowed her brow in confusion as she pulled her own shirt back down. "After what just happened, I don't think we should be doing this now."

"Fuck this," Faith grumbled, picking Buffy up with her as she stood up from the couch. As soon as Buffy was on her feet, Faith stormed off towards the balcony.

"Faith," Buffy called out as she followed her out onto the balcony. "We didn't come here for this. We came here to talk."

"This turned out to be a bad fuckin' idea, what with finding Julie here and all."

"You didn't know."

"Shoulda figured something like this would happen," Faith said under her breath as she leaned on the railing and looked down to the street below. "I'm keepin' this place, in case you were wondering."

Buffy nodded as she stood next to her and leaned against the railing as well. "So that's it? You're just moving out of the house and doing your own thing now? What about us? What about training?"

"There's still an us, B. Ya only live five blocks away, it's not like it'd take that long to come see me if ya wanted to," Faith said, smiling a little as Buffy just shrugged and turned to look away from her. "We'll still train together. I'll come over to the house in the mornings—okay, afternoons—and we'll get a few hours in together. Get all nice 'n sweaty."

"Great, nice visual, Faith."

"Unless you wanna come here and we can..." she trailed off as Buffy turned to look at her and she slowly licked over her lips to emphasize her point. "It's good just to let go sometimes despite the shit that's goin' on at the time, B."

"I know, but it's..."

"What?"

"Uncharted territory for me," Buffy replied, smiling shyly.

"It is for both of us," Faith said softly. She stepped back away from the railing and stared at Buffy as she shoved her hands into the front pockets of her jeans. "You aren't gonna be pissed at me for moving in here, are ya?"

"No."

"Cos you know you can tell me if ya are."

"Maybe just a little bit disappointed. Kind of getting used to seeing you around every day," Buffy said with a sweet smile as she walked over to Faith and wrapped her arms around her neck, pulling her in for a quick kiss. "It hasn't even been a month and yet I feel closer to you now than I ever did before."

Faith just wrapped her arms around Buffy and kissed her hard and deep as she pulled Buffy back inside the apartment. Julie had seriously destroyed the mood and her libido and Faith pulled back from the kiss for a moment with groan of frustration. Buffy just pulled her back in, kissing her harder and deeper as she began to lead Faith over to the couch. Faith groaned in frustration again, not parting from the kiss as Buffy forced her to lie down on the couch.

She thought back to the images she'd had in the restaurant, one of which was very much like what was unfolding between them only a hell of a lot slower than she'd imagined it'd be. She could feel the slight hesitation in the way Buffy kissed her and she smoothed her hands up and down her back, trying to get her to relax and just let go a little. The ache between her legs was bordering painful now as she thrust her center up into Buffy's hard, trying to garner some friction for a little bit of relief.

"I wasn't kidding before when I told you to show me what it's like to be with you," Buffy whispered between kisses as Faith slid her hands under her shirt and up along her back, coming to rest just below the clasp on her bra. "Julie being here before might have slightly derailed what we were doing, but..."

"You wanna keep going?" Faith asked, smiling up at Buffy, who leaned back as soon as Faith unclasped her bra. "Y'know, there's a nice big bed we could put to good use right about now."

"Mm-hmm."

"Or not," Faith muttered under her breath as she sat up slowly, her hands still under Buffy's shirt and idly tracing small patterns over her back.

Faith went to say something else, but just what exactly floated out of her mind as Buffy pulled her in for another kiss while tugging on Faith's shirt. Every inch of her body felt as if it were on fire as she let Buffy pull her shirt off slowly, their lips only separating for mere seconds until Faith's shirt was off and tossed haphazardly to the floor. She broke away from the kiss a moment later and pulled Buffy's shirt off, unable to take her eyes off of the vision before her as Buffy's bra slid down and she was suddenly sitting astride Faith in only a pair of jeans and her boots.

As much as she was aching to take her hard and fast, she kept things slow, pulling the now topless Buffy down with her as she lay back slowly. She kicked off her boots, feeling Buffy shudder slightly as they hit the hardwood floor, the sound echoing through the apartment rather loudly. Buffy's own boots followed a moment later and Faith then rolled them over quickly, smiling as Buffy nibbled on her lower lip and let out a soft moan.

"I think..." Buffy said softly as Faith pulled back from the kiss to take in a deep breath. "After we...I think we should tell the others..."

"Tell them what?" Faith asked as she ran her fingers over Buffy's stomach and came to a stop at the top of her jeans. "About everything I just told you?"

"No," Buffy laughed softly as she placed a hand on top of Faith's before she could get the button undone. "I meant we should tell the others...about us."

Faith said nothing as she kissed Buffy, her fingers quickly unbuttoning her jeans. She'd had enough talking and her mind was set on one thing. Buffy's soft moans were driving her on and she slipped a thigh between Buffy's legs and pressed it hard against her center, eliciting another moan that she felt through her entire body. She could feel Buffy's heart racing as she ran her hand up her stomach and to her chest. She pulled back from her lips, smiling down at her as she ran her fingers over the soft contours of her breasts, purposely avoiding the rock hard nipples that were taunting her.

She got up from the couch, pulling Buffy with her and capturing her lips in a fierce kiss as she began to back her up towards the bedroom. She slid Buffy's jeans past her hips and stopped walking her backwards long enough for her to step out of them. She couldn't fight back the smirk as Buffy fumbled with the button on her jeans with shaky hands. She placed her hands on top of Buffy's, kissing her softly still as she helped her unbutton the jeans. She quickly stepped out of them and pulled Buffy closer, feeling almost every inch of their bodies just melting into one another.

Faith backed her up against the bedroom door a little roughly as she slid a thigh between her legs, feeling the heat and the dampness from Buffy's pussy even through the thin cotton of her panties. Faith felt like she couldn't get Buffy into the bedroom and on the bed fast enough and she had no doubt in her mind that Buffy wouldn't mind being ravished by her just as soon as she did.

"Faith, this is a little...fast..." Buffy gasped as she broke away from the kiss as soon as Faith had fumbled around for the doorknob and opened the bedroom door.

"You wanna stop? Now?"

"Did I say stop?"

Buffy just smiled lasciviously as she grabbed Faith's hands and led her into the bedroom and towards the bed. This was a side of Buffy she never thought she'd see, the taking charge in the bedroom side. She allowed Buffy to push her down on the bed where she then propped herself up on her elbows, staring intensely at Buffy as she moved to straddle her.

"You just wanted to be on top, didn't ya?" Faith laughed, running her hands over Buffy's smooth thighs as she laid back. "Not like I'm complainin', B. You're the only one I'd even _think_ of letting top me."

"Here's where the whole uncharted territory thing comes back," Buffy whispered shyly, staring down at her hands as she slowly ran them up Faith's stomach, stopping short of the undersides of her breasts.

"Is this why you wanna take it slow?" Faith asked as she pulled Buffy down on top of her and laid a gentle kiss on her lips. "Let me drive, babe. I'll show ya how it's done."

"How charming and romantic, Faith."

"Don't do romance," she muttered under her breath as she rolled them over until she was the one on top. "And I'm through bein' the bottom, B."

"Figured."

Faith laughed as she let Buffy pull her down and kiss her. She kept it short and sweet, trailing her lips over Buffy's jaw and neck with tantalizing slowness, loving the feel of Buffy beneath her with her nails raking up and down her back and shoulders. She ran her hands along the back of Buffy's thigh, mindful of the wound that was still healing, and trailed her lips and tongue across her collarbone, nipping at the skin as Buffy arched up into her.

She looked up at Buffy for a moment, revelling in the sight of Buffy laid out beneath her with her eyes closed and biting her lower lip to stifle the constant stream of small, whimpering moans that escaped. She bent down and took a nipple between her lips, fighting off the smirk as Buffy dug her nails into her shoulders almost hard enough to break the skin. She sucked hard, groaning as Buffy arched up into her again and wrapped her leg around her hips. She pulled away slowly, looking up at Buffy as she ran her tongue over the soft curves of her breasts to her other nipple, circling the hard little nub with the tip of her tongue before she took it between her teeth.

"Faith..." Buffy breathed out in between moans.

Faith just trailed her lips over Buffy's stomach, stopping to nibble the skin around her bellybutton as her fingers traced over the top of her panties. She could feel the butterflies in her stomach—not the nervous ones, but the ones that came with the anticipation of what was about to come next. She spread Buffy's legs slowly as she nibbled the skin just above the top of her panties. She didn't take her eyes off of the blonde's face as she ran her tongue the length of her slit and sucked her hard through her panties. Slowly she pulled them down, finally tearing her eyes from Buffy's as she slid her panties off and tossed them to the floor behind her.

Faith's breath hitched in her chest as she stared at Buffy spread out in front of her. She was breathing heavily, her eyes now closed again and her hands gripping the sheets on the bed. Faith had never seen her more exposed with her guard completely gone as she did at that moment. She didn't let her thoughts consume her for very long, soon beginning to place small, wet kisses up the insides of Buffy's thighs, teasing her and loving each little moan that Buffy allowed to escape past her lips. She kept waiting for Buffy to tell her to stop, but when that didn't happen she finally settled herself comfortably in between her legs and teasingly ran her tongue over her throbbing clit.

"Fuck," Buffy moaned as her hands gripped Faith's head. Hearing her curse almost made Faith come on the spot. "Faith, please don't tease me."

"Tease you?" Faith smirked as she looked up at her. "Just gettin' started, B."

She wanted to devour her, ravish her, but the silent mantra in her head kept telling her to take it slow. She wanted to burn this moment into her memories, she wanted to remember every inch of Buffy and just how damn edible she tasted. She wanted to remember the way her moans affected her, the way they made her body burn hot with arousal. Buffy urged her on, pulling her head closer and it was all she needed to bury her tongue into her hot, wet hole. With that first taste, the first feel of Buffy's inner walls clenching her tongue, pulling it in deeper, she was addicted. Completely addicted.

The silent mantra she'd been reciting disappeared completely as she felt the first waves of Buffy's orgasm begin to build up. She was slightly surprised that Buffy was ready to come so soon, but her own ache between her legs told her that she'd be coming right with her despite the fact she hadn't even been touched yet. She had to grip Buffy's hips to keep her from bucking wildly as she slid her tongue from her clenching hole to her clit, sucking hard as Buffy let out a low, feral moan. She slipped two fingers deep inside of her as she kissed her way up Buffy's body and captured her lips in a deep, wet kiss.

Buffy's moans were muffled by Faith's own mouth as the blonde scratched her nails down her lover's back. She ran her right hand over Faith's hip, gripping her there hard as Faith's fingers plunged deeper inside of her. Faith slowed her thrusts as Buffy cupped her over her panties, feeling a flood of wetness seep out as she came hard. She struggled to hold herself up over the other girl as Buffy slipped her fingers past the barrier of her panties, tentatively seeking out her clit as Faith fucked her fingers harder and deeper inside of her.

She came again a second time, unexpectedly, as Buffy ripped her panties off without warning and thrust two fingers inside of her. Faith broke away from the kiss, panting heavily as she rest her forehead against Buffy's. She curled her fingers inside of Buffy, feeling her come hard as their lips crashed back together in a wildly wanton kiss that left them both breathless. She slowly removed her fingers, grabbed Buffy's hand, and reluctantly pulled her fingers out. She intertwined their sticky wet fingers as she positioned herself in between Buffy's legs and began a smooth, steady motion, feeling ready to come for a third time at the feel of Buffy's hot, wet pussy sliding easily against her own.

"Fuck, B..." she hissed as Buffy squeezed her hand hard, running her other hand down her back and gripping onto her ass, digging her nails roughly into her skin as she tried to slow down Faith's thrusts.

"Harder," Buffy breathed out as she arched into her.

"Gonna...again..."

"Yes," Buffy murmured as she threw her head back and closed her eyes.

Faith could feel the orgasm rip through her body like a freight train in time with Buffy's own. She'd never come with anyone at the same time before and she groaned as she buried her face into Buffy's neck and rode it out as long as she could. The exhaustion she'd been feeling for weeks now was beginning to take its toll and she rolled partway off of Buffy, holding her as they basked in the afterglow together in silence. Had she not been going on next to no sleep, she would have continued on. She would have worshipped every inch of Buffy, devoured her until she begged her to stop.

"That was..." Buffy sighed out contentedly as she took in a deep breath, "intense."

"Very."

"Never knew it'd be like that," she laughed softly as Faith leaned up and looked at her with a smile. "I guess it's no longer uncharted territory."

"Definitely not," Faith chuckled as she kissed her softly and laid her head down on the mattress next to hers. "You're fuckin' amazing, B. You know that?"

"I do now. You aren't so bad yourself," Buffy teased as she let go of Faith's hand and reached down to playfully pinch her ass.

"I ain't so bad?" Faith laughed as she shook her head. "Ya want me to have another go, prove to ya I'm better than 'aren't so bad'?"

Buffy just smiled at her and closed her eyes, moaning softly as she pulled Faith a little closer to her, not an easy thing considering how close they already were. The warm sunlight streamed in through the window and over the bed, warming them as they both drifted off to sleep. Faith couldn't get over how right it felt just to lay there with Buffy and how everything she had so much trouble getting out of her mind was suddenly gone for the time being. She'd completely lost herself within Buffy and before she slipped into the land of her dreams, she knew it was a feeling she'd never felt before with anyone and one she had no desire to even try to duplicate with anyone other than Buffy from there on out.

****

It was late afternoon before either of them woke and the first thing Faith saw when she opened her eyes was Buffy staring longingly at her. She leaned in for a kiss only to come in contact with Buffy's hand instead and she groaned in frustration as she rolled onto her back.

"Hey," Buffy smiled as she reached out for her hand. "Did you have a nice nap?"

"The best."

"We should...head back to the house."

"Now?"

"We've been here most of the day. We still have to train and..."

"B?" Faith sighed as she turned her head to the side to look over at her. "Can't we just stay here?"

"As much as I want to, you know we can't."

"Right," she grumbled as she sat up on the bed slowly and ran her fingers through her tousled hair. She looked down at Buffy, smiling as she leaned down and kissed her quickly before she got up from the bed. "Later?"

"Sure," Buffy nodded as she watched Faith walk out of the room, picking up both their clothes on the way. "Faith?"

"Yeah, B?"

"I was serious when I said I want to tell the others about us. I promised Willow before we got here that there'd never be any secrets between us ever again."

"You do whatever ya need to do, B."

Faith tossed Buffy's clothes towards the bed and quickly got dressed in her own. She felt like she was high as Buffy stood up from the bed and walked over to her slowly, her eyes dark with lust as she pulled her in for a deep, passionate kiss. It made Faith weak in the knees and she had to force herself not to take it any further than just a simple kiss. She pulled back and winked at Buffy as she walked out of the bedroom and headed for the balcony to have a quick cigarette.

She'd nearly forgotten that Julie had been there until she was out on the balcony and let her mind wander. It made her feel conflicted about what had happened between her and Buffy afterwards. She knew it would have happened eventually, but that little aggravating voice in the back of her mind kept asking her if Buffy allowed it to happen _today_ because she was afraid she'd lose her. She ignored it, pushing that thought away as she looked back inside, watching as Buffy walked out of the bedroom and pick up her boots from the floor by the couch.

All it took was one look at Buffy and she was worked up again. She couldn't allow her libido to take control of her completely. She needed to keep her head in the overall game with Julie and her family. She needed to keep her priorities in order. It was nearly impossible to do that, though, when every time she'd close her eyes all she could see was Buffy beneath her, moaning, writhing, and arching her body into hers.

Oh, she was definitely in trouble if she let those thoughts take over. But it wasn't all bad, especially not when she felt that pang in her heart when Buffy looked over at her and smiled ever so sweetly. If she was going to lose all sense of control and responsibility, she wouldn't want to lose it any other way.


	18. Chapter 18

**Author's Notes: Feedback is _always_ welcomed, I would love to know if you like/love/hate the fic....and I shall warn you all now that this fic evolves and takes a life of its own...I've already got a whole bunch of chapters written and waiting to be beta'd....**

* * *

If a simple look could be translated into words, every longing look Buffy sent toward Faith would have been a _book_ full of 'fuck me'. They were on their way to the station with Kennedy to meet up with Sam. She walked behind them, giving them their space, but the two elder Slayers walked in complete silence, an almost visible air of tension surrounding them. Faith was doing her best to ignore Buffy's looks, only thinking of one thing—the meeting with Sam while she had Buffy and Kennedy with her.

They weren't even inside the building for more than ten seconds before Sam stepped out of the elevator. Faith suddenly knew that he somehow was expecting her additional companions, and it was only then—when she saw the way his lips curled into a smile—that she remembered that night at the bar and the conversation she'd heard between Sam and Henry. That memory added fuel to her own natural distrust, and now she was even less sure who she could trust between the two of them.

Giles had spoken with the three of them before they'd left the house. As far as they knew, he was protecting his niece and her friends for reasons of his own and quite possibly because of Julie herself. Kennedy had questioned why they even needed to bother going through all of this just to find a way to take Julie out before she could manage to open the Hellmouth. Faith had left the short meeting at that point and she hadn't said a word to either of them since.

"Ladies, if you will," Sam said, smiling at the three of them as he motioned to the elevator he'd just come out of, "we'll talk in my office."

They stepped inside the elevator and Faith took a deep breath as the doors closed. She couldn't even just stand next to Buffy without feeling the urge to touch her. She was still casting those looks at her that made her whole body buzz, starting from her toes until it just filled her. She hadn't been able to stop thinking back to what happened between them earlier. Despite knowing this was definitely the wrong time to be thinking of it, she let herself fall into the intoxicating spell she felt like she was put under.

Sam pressed the emergency stop button and the elevator jolted to a stop. He smirked at the three of them as he stood there casually. "Welcome to my office."

"You don't actually work here, do you?" Faith asked as she stayed where she'd been standing, leaning against the far wall.

"Not here in particular. I work with Perry, Marshall, and the rest of the men that provide efficient back up when needed. I'm more of the middle man, the man who leads the crew, sniffs out the hotspots, and pays these brave young men and women for their duty each and every night," he said as he stared at Faith, barely casting a look at Buffy or Kennedy. "I heard you three were coming and I knew I had to somehow get you involved in this. And yes, Buffy," he said as he turned to look at her, "I already know your concerns about my operation being like this Initiative of yours, but I can assure you this is not anything like it."

"How do you know about that?" Buffy asked, trying to keep calm. Faith could feel the tension in Buffy. She could almost taste it.

"Let's just say I had a few contacts in Sunnydale a couple years back. You know how word gets through the underground and just how fast it does. Nothing is quite a secret anymore," Sam said as he shook his head in mock disbelief. "I find it unfortunate that Julie has found out about this arrangement so soon."

"Not my fault the bitch showed up—"

"Faith, please," Sam said harshly as he stopped her from continuing. "I've heard it all once already. She showed up at the apartment, had a few words with you, probably about useless bullshit since that's all that seems to come out of her mouth these days. Now, if we shall get started. I'd like to run through things with Buffy and Kennedy before you three head out."

Faith just nodded and rolled her eyes as Sam released the emergency button and the elevator continued its short descent down. By the time they made it to the room, Sam had gotten into explaining how things worked to Buffy and Kennedy. Faith wasn't paying a speck of attention to what he was saying. She couldn't quite tear her eyes away from Buffy nor could she stop the thoughts that continued running through her mind.

Perry and Marshall were already gearing up for the night and Faith joined them in gathering up the weapons they'd need. She kept looking over at Buffy as she and Kennedy stood by the table and listened to Sam as he spoke quietly to them.

"What're they doing here?" Perry asked as he picked up one of the smaller crossbows and placed it in the black duffel bag. "Thought those two weren't going to work with us?"

"Plans changed," Faith shrugged. "Does it matter?"

"No," Perry replied as he shook his head and picked up another crossbow. "More of us means more ground can be covered in a couple hours. The other guys that are on call aren't going to like this though."

"Then make sure they don't find out," Marshall chuckled as he winked at Faith. "Who's the blonde?"

"Buffy."

"Is she seeing anyone?"

"Seriously," Perry laughed as he smacked Marshall across the back of his head. "You are married, man. You just can't keep it in your pants, can you?"

"Nope, and you didn't answer my question, Lehane."

"Yeah, she's seein' someone. Me."

"Damn," Marshall smirked as he looked her up and down then cast a quick glance over at Buffy. "How did that happen?"

"Shut up," Perry said, smacking him across the back of the head again. "Just keep packing so we can get out of here and get started. I want to be home by midnight tonight. Got the wife after me about spending more time with her. You know how it is. Women. Always worried you're having an affair when you're only out doing your job."

Faith chuckled as she picked up one of the larger crossbows and ran her fingers over the handle. Perry and Marshall moved down the row to gather more weapons, bickering back and forth. Buffy and Kennedy walked over towards her, both of them looking around at the cache of weapons in surprise and awe. Buffy's look soon turned weary, though, as she turned to Faith and she knew that Buffy was having doubts about this whole situation. She was having them too, but she was going along with it. The money itself, especially after the night before, was tempting.

"Do they always act like that?" Kennedy asked as she motioned to Perry and Marshall still going at it. "And do we _have_ to go with them on patrol? I don't think I could stand five minutes with those two."

"They aren't that bad," Faith laughed as she watched Buffy scan over the few crossbows left and pick one up that was similar to the one she held. "Come on, pick your poison and let's motor."

They were geared up and ready to go within minutes and they followed Perry and Marshall out to the garage where all piled into the black Escalade. Sam wanted the three of them to go off on their own while Perry and Marshall did their usual route, so Perry pulled the vehicle to a stop just a block away from the neighbourhood the Hellmouth resided in and handed Faith a cell phone.

"I'll call you in three hours for an update on activity," he said as the three of them climbed out of the back of the Escalade. "This isn't a personal phone, so no personal phone calls are to be made with it, understood, Lehane?"

"Yep," Faith said as she took the phone and placed it in the inside pocket of her jacket.

"Good. Now do a quick sweep of the neighbourhood and head over to the warehouse we were at last night to make sure no others have come around and settled in."

With that, Perry drove off, leaving the three of them standing there at the side of the road. Faith just slung the duffel bag they'd packed with various weapons over her shoulder and they walked down the quiet, deserted street in silence. They rounded the first corner and came to a stop just in front of what had once been a playground and now was just an empty dirt lot. Faith walked over to the bench and tossed the bag to the ground as she sat down.

"This is a quick sweep?" Kennedy asked as she sat down next to Faith. "We're just going to sit here and do what exactly?"

"Wait."

"Wait for what?"

"Whatever decides to come out and play," Faith replied, chuckling as Buffy sat down next to her. "I look at it this way: We're gettin' paid for doin' what we always do. What's the downside to that?"

"Working for people who are potentially evil?" Buffy muttered under her breath. "You can't tell me that you aren't thinking there's something seriously off with this whole operation. Why the hell would the police be involved in taking out the vamps and demons in the city?"

"Guess they took the whole 'to serve and protect' thing one step further," Faith replied as she casually draped an arm around Buffy's shoulders. "Come on, B, whether these particular guys are evil or not, we're still fightin' the good fight here. We find out Sam's evil, then we take him out just like we plan to take Julie out."

"And how are we supposed to take Julie out when she's pretty much fucking invincible?" Kennedy asked, sounding rather irritated.

"We're working on that. All we have to do is get the gem off of her and the rest should be fairly easy," Buffy replied as she leaned in a little to Faith. "Where is the gem, exactly?"

"Ya really wanna know, B?" Faith asked, laughing as Buffy looked at her and narrowed her eyes. "I would tell ya if I knew. I only have a vague idea of where it could be."

"Which is?"

"Well, she's pierced right..."

"Where?" Kennedy asked.

"Where do ya think?" Faith laughed as she shook her head and felt Buffy tense up a little next to her. "Nah, the gem ain't down there. At least I don't think it is. Wherever it is on her, she's got it pretty guarded and hidden."

"Down there?" Buffy asked, raising an eyebrow as Faith turned to look back at her. "You mean she's...wow, okay. I was wondering what she meant when she said you knew. It all makes sense now."

"B, whatever you are thinkin' right now...it ain't like that."

"So, if the gem isn't on that piercing, where the hell is it? Last time I saw her I didn't see her wearing any rings or anything," Kennedy asked as she stood up and stood in front of Faith. "Damn, I just had a really disturbing thought."

"Please don't," Buffy groaned as she pushed Faith's arm off her. "Willow is working on a spell to pinpoint just where the gem is on her, so instead of speculating about it maybe we should just get on with patrol and not mention her again tonight."

"I can deal with that," Kennedy said. The two of them turned their heads in unison to look at Faith.

"No more talking about Julie. Got it," Faith nodded as she stood up from the bench and picked up the bag. "Let's get on with it then and find us some baddies to slay. Suddenly feelin' all worked up and itchin' for a good fight."

"You're always feeling worked up," Kennedy said as she and Faith shared a laugh over it.

Faith got her head into gear as they set out for a quick sweep around the deserted neighbourhood. She couldn't let thoughts of Buffy take over no matter how tempting it was. There'd be plenty of time for fantasizing later—and if it was up to her there'd be more than just fantasizing before the night was over.

****

Four hours and three dusted vampires later, Faith got the phone call from Perry. They walked the three blocks to meet up with him and Marshall just outside the cemetery near the house. Kennedy and Marshall went off together, both of them making small talk and laughing as they walked away. Perry just stood by the Escalade while Faith dug through the bag and pulled out a few stakes and the crossbow.

"Take the south end," Perry said quietly as he checked his phone. "I'll take the east end and we'll wrap it up in half an hour if there's no activity."

Buffy was already walking away and Faith just turned and jogged over to her to catch up. Buffy waited until they were far away from Perry before she turned to Faith and stopped her from walking. "Is he stupid?"

"What?"

"Is he stupid, Faith? We can't just do a quick sweep in a half hour and expect to find something."

"They don't fuck around, B."

"A lot of slaying has to do with waiting. Don't they know that?"

"Apparently not. What's the big deal anyway?"

"I just don't like this, Faith. Maybe Kennedy was right before. We can take out Julie without having to be involved in this."

"Maybe she was, but shit…" Faith sighed as she started walking again. "We're gettin' _paid!_ This sure fuckin' beats gettin' a real job, don't ya think? Maybe you'll be singin' a different tune once ya get the cash later."

"And how much did they pay you last night?"

"Almost a thousand bucks."

"Seriously?"

"Fuckin' _dead_ serious," Faith grinned. "Come on, that's gotta be motivation enough to put up with this shit. Ain't it?"

"I guess so. It still doesn't help the fact that I'm wondering just what the hell is really going on here. Perry and Marshall seem like normal guys, but how are we supposed to know this isn't all just an act?"

"Guess we'll figure it out in time, but for now, B," Faith said as she turned to look at her and came to a stop as Buffy let out a heavy sigh. "For now, we'll just go along with it. We're still gonna be out here every night anyway. Giles doesn't think it's such a bad idea either."

"Of course he doesn't! We're practically blind here aside from the information Angel has told us."

"Practically blind, not completely blind. Big fucking difference."

"Maybe for you," Buffy muttered. "As much a threat as Julie is _supposed_ to be, she hasn't proven anything other than the fact that she's crazy, not to mention invincible."

"So what, then, B? We just step back and let her do whatever she has planned and not do a damn thing to try and stop her?"

"God, I don't know, Faith!" Buffy groaned as she brought her hands up to rub her temples slowly. "I can't stop...thinking about this morning," she whispered as she stared over at Faith. "I can't even stop thinking about it—about you even for a minute. Am I going crazy here?"

"Nah," Faith smirked as she took a few steps closer to Buffy. "I can't stop thinking about it either, B. So maybe we're both going crazy," she chuckled as Buffy smiled shyly. "Point is, B? I can't even be near you now without wanting to touch you. You're like a fuckin' drug and I'm addicted."

Faith wanted to tell her it was one of the reasons she'd been so scared before of even just being friends with her, but she didn't get the chance to. They both spotted the lone vampire walking almost ten feet in front of them. Faith dropped the crossbow to the ground, wanting to get hands on with the vampire. She needed a good slay almost as bad as she needed a good fuck. The vampire was tall, a little on the bulky side, and when he turned to look at her she knew it'd be far from an easy fight.

Buffy stood back, bending down to pick up the crossbow as Faith blocked the first blow the vampire threw her way. She couldn't get a punch or a kick in and all she could do was block every move the vampire made as she looked for an opportunity to take him out. The adrenaline that pumped through her veins made her feel intoxicated as she felt a surge of uninhibited energy build inside of her and she sent the vampire flying backwards with a strong roundhouse kick.

"You want a hand?" Buffy asked as she stood back and watched.

"Nah, I'm good, B."

She flashed a confident smile as she strode over to where the vampire had landed and grabbed him by the front of his shirt. Out of the corner of her eye she spotted Kennedy and Marshall in the middle of a fight of their own with another vampire about the same size as the one she was facing. Rather than prolong the fight, she reached inside her jacket for her stake and shoved the vampire to the ground. He was too quick for her, though, and kicked the stake from her hand before she had a chance to plunge it into his chest.

"Fucker," she growled as she then suddenly found her legs being swept out from under her. The vampire was instantly on top of her, his thick, cold hands wrapped tightly around her throat. "B? Little help here would be nice."

"On it," Buffy said as she aimed the crossbow at the vampire. Faith kicked him off and before he could land on his feet, Buffy shot the arrow straight at his heart, turning him to dust. "You know, you could have ended the fight before it even started if you had just used this in the first place."

"I just wanted..."

"A good slay, I know," Buffy said as she rolled her eyes and handed Faith the crossbow. "Is that all you ever care about? A good slay?"

"Why not? Gets the blood pumpin'," Faith winked as they headed over to where Kennedy and Marshall were still struggling with their own vampire. "Hey Ken! You need a hand there?"

"Working on it," she grunted as she pulled the vampire away from Marshall. "Damn, this fucker is strong."

Faith said not a word as she loaded the crossbow and aimed it straight at the vampire, waiting for the right second to take the shot. Marshall was now down and bleeding from a wound on his shoulder and Buffy moved quickly to get him out of the way as Kennedy continued to struggle with the vampire. Faith couldn't find a shot and she groaned in frustration as she tossed the crossbow to the ground and leapt at the vampire before it could grab on to Kennedy.

She was instantly lost in the flurry of punches she threw at the vampire's face. Even when the movement stopped, she kept pummelling her fists into its face. Buffy grabbed onto her, pulled her off, and staked him quickly before Faith could even blink. She rubbed her sore and bleeding knuckles, breathing heavily as Buffy glared at her.

"Some things never change with you, do they?" Buffy asked as she tucked the stake back inside her jacket pocket. "Kennedy, any others?"

"Not that we saw," she replied as she shook her head slowly. "This one came out of nowhere. Didn't even sense it until it grabbed me."

"It's..." Marshall gasped as he clutched onto his wounded shoulder. "Julie. She does this. She's got this whole army of vampires working for her."

"An army?" Buffy asked as she looked over at Faith. "How big of an army are we talking about?"

"She's got every vamp in this town wrapped around her little finger. Should've known she'd start to send them out in pairs. There could be more," he said, gasping softly as he moved to sit down on the ground before leaning against a headstone. "There's always more. We shouldn't stand around waiting for them."

"You okay?" Faith asked him as she held out her hand to pull him up to his feet.

"Got knifed. It's not as bad as it looks," he chuckled and winced as he held onto his shoulder tighter. "Just another war wound for the wife to bitch at me for later."

"What do you know about Julie?" Buffy asked as they began the short walk back to where Perry waited by the Escalade.

"Not much. Sam said it isn't any of our concern when it comes to her."

"And you don't think he's saying that because there's something more going on?"

"I don't know," he shrugged. "I just do what I've been recruited to do, fight the evil that wanders at night. Got a roof to keep over my wife's head. Got a baby on the way and I need the cash."

"It's always about the money, isn't it?"

"Not just about the money," Marshall said with a coy smile. "Being a cop was rewarding on its own, but this…" he paused as he looked around them. "This is a whole new kind of rewarding. Fighting the forces of evil night after night and keeping the innocent safe and in the dark about what really goes on is a different kind of rewarding. Kind of makes you feel like a hero."

"You're wrong," Buffy said coldly. "You aren't a hero. You are fighting a fight that isn't up to you to deal with. It's up to _us_. We're the Slayers, not you or Perry or any of the other guys that work for Sam."

"B..."

"Shut up, Faith. You are the one who got into this. What the hell were you thinking?"

"Thought it..."

"No, you didn't think. There's something wrong with this whole thing. Don't you see that? Sam isn't on the good side. He's a part of Julie's family and without a doubt in on whatever kind of game it is she's playing with us."

"What if you're wrong?" Kennedy asked, getting right in Buffy's face. "What if he isn't? What if he's trying to take her out too?"

"Then I'm wrong. I'm just saying that we shouldn't just easily trust Sam, or Henry, or anyone else," Buffy retaliated as she backed away from Kennedy. She turned to look at Faith and scoffed as she stepped around Kennedy and continued walking down the gravel path.

"Shit," Faith sighed as Marshall slumped back down to the ground and groaned loudly. "I really can't even try to do the right thing, can I?"

"What if she is right?" Marshall asked weakly as he looked up at her. "I never trusted Sam myself and I know Perry doesn't either."

"Then why do you work for him willingly?"

"Besides the money?" Marshall laughed and coughed as he leaned his head back against the headstone. "It's complicated, Lehane. Sam has been around a long time and he's actually pretty respected around here. He says jump, people say how high. Just the way it's always been and probably always will be. He has this power over people and he can talk just about anyone into doing anything. I should know. It's how my father ended up rotting away in prison."

"What happened?" Faith asked him as she knelt down on the ground next to him. She could see the blood seeping out of the wound, staining his dark jacket and trickling over his fingers.

"My father worked for Sam when he started up this unit about forty years back. Yeah, right around the time when Julie was turned. This was before I was even born, but my father told me a lot of stories before Sam had him locked up for a murder he didn't commit," he said and paused to take a few deep, shaky breaths. "Sam isn't...fully human."

"We're aware of that."

"The spell, it wasn't just cast on their family. There was another and from the stories I heard, they were rivals. Julie was out of control with the strength she possessed as a Slayer and the power she had as a witch. When she was turned, she killed them, but that's when things started with the barrier. The reversal spell she used on them backfired and the barrier was set up around the Hellmouth. She lost most of her powers, as did her mother."

"And now she's trying to break the barrier?"

"It's breaking apart on its own. It started when you three arrived here. No other Slayer had come here in the last forty years. Julie had made sure of it. This is her town and she didn't want anyone standing in her way and trying to take her out. Besides, even if anyone dared try, she's...untouchable. You probably know all of this already, don't you?"

"Yeah, we do," Faith nodded in reply. "So what, we shouldn't trust Sam, is that what you're trying to say, Marshall?"

"Buffy is right. You shouldn't trust him _or_ his brother. I never asked questions because up until now there's been nobody to help me even if I found the answers. I wanted to get paid and go home to my wife every night without having to worry about anything or anyone coming after us. But if you've got a plan to take them out, Lehane, I'm in."

"How do we know we can trust _you_?"

"You don't," Marshall smirked as he tried to get up from the ground. "But you are going to need as many on your side as they have if you want to finish this mess and set things right. Been a long time coming if you ask me. Spent my whole life trying to figure that family out, trying to figure out just what the hell Julie has up her sleeve. She's absolutely fucking crazy, but of course you probably already know that too, don't you?"

"You just had to fuck a crazy chick, didn't you?" Kennedy muttered under her breath as she stared at Faith.

"Hey, I didn't fuckin' know, Ken!"

"You slept with her?" Marshall asked as he finally stood up from the ground on his own.

"Why does it matter if I did or not?"

"She didn't...cast any spells on you, did she?"

"Fuck no," Faith laughed as she looked down the path, barely able to make out Buffy in the darkness. "It was just a fuck and a stupid mistake."

"And you are absolutely sure that's all it was?"

"What do ya want me to say?" Faith snapped at him, feeling the anger bubbling from deep inside of her. "I'm the only one that's gonna be able to stop her. Not you, not fuckin' Perry, or anyone else."

She gave in to the sudden overwhelming urge to take off on her own. She headed for the closest wall that surrounded the entire cemetery and scaled over it easily. As soon as her feet hit the ground she was nearly running to get away from there as fast as she could. She just couldn't deal with it any longer. She made it about a block away before Buffy caught up with her.

"Faith, where are you going?"

"Just...away," she replied as she kept walking, shrugging off Buffy's hand as she reached out for her. "I'm startin' to think maybe you are fuckin' right about this, B. Who the hell knows who we can trust and who we can't right now?"

"So your solution is to run away instead of facing it and finding out just who we _can_ trust before it's too late?"

"What else am I supposed to do, then?"

"I don't know," Buffy shrugged as she stepped in front of her and stopped her from walking away from her yet again. "This is one giant mess and we're practically in the dark with this. I just don't want anything to happen to you."

"Since when do you care what happens to me, B?"

"Since...you came back," Buffy whispered as she stepped closer to her, sliding her hands over Faith's shoulders and around to the back of her neck. "Faith, I'm falling for you, hard, and it kills me inside to think of anything bad happening to you."

"Not gonna go get myself killed or anything on purpose."

"I know that," Buffy sighed. She smiled a little as Faith wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled her closer. "I hate this, Faith. I am so tired of all of this."

"Of what?"

"Saving the world," she replied. "It never ends, does it? Once we save the world we barely get a break before we're right back at it again."

"It's just how it is, B. Figured you knew that by now."

"I do. I just want...a normal life. I want what we had this morning. It was the first time in a long time I ever just got lost in the moment and forgot about everything else. Like now," she said softly as she stared into Faith's eyes. "I just look at you and god...I don't know why I never realized it before."

"Realized what?"

"How easy it is just to get lost within you. I see the way you look at me sometimes and it makes me feel...safe. It makes me feel like absolutely nothing can go wrong in the world. This is crazy talk, isn't it? This is the spell that's—"

Faith stopped her from talking as she pressed her lips against Buffy's gently. She kept the kiss short and sweet, pulling back with a smile on her face. "I like that crazy talk. Nobody's ever...y'know, said these things to me or felt these things about me before."

Buffy bit her lower lip for a moment before she pulled Faith in for another kiss. They both ignored the sounds of whistling and catcalls from a group of college boys across the road. They just allowed themselves to become lost within each other for a few long minutes. Buffy finally pulled away slowly, leaving Faith tingling all over and standing dazed, mouth hanging slightly open, until Buffy reached up to the taller girl's chin and gently closed her mouth for her. Buffy flashed a coy little smile as she reached for Faith's hand and began walking back the way they'd come.

Perry pulled the Escalade up near the sidewalk beside them a few minutes later and they got in and settled in the seat next to Kennedy. Nobody said a word as Perry drove to the hospital and made sure Marshall got inside safely before he drove back to the station. Sam was waiting for them by the door when they got out of the vehicle. Sam took one look at Faith, then motioned for the four of them to follow him inside. Faith just clenched her fists at her sides as they walked into the room behind Sam. He pointed to the chairs around the table and they all took a seat.

After a quick debriefing about their night and Marshall's injury, Faith stood up and stared straight over at Sam. She placed both her hands on the table as she leaned towards him and she took in a few deep breaths, trying to figure out his reaction before she even spoke.

"Was there something that you wanted to say, Faith?"

"We're not doing this anymore," she said through clenched teeth. "And by this I mean we're not coming back here and reporting to you. It ain't gonna work that way from here on out."

"I do not believe you are in any position to make rash demands. May I remind you that you work for me and that I pay you for helping out, not the other way around?"

"I'm startin' to think there's more to it than us just helping you out here," she said as she laughed incredulously. "So," she said as she strolled around to the other side of the table and grabbed him by the front of his expensive looking silk shirt, "why don't you tell us the fucking truth, Sam?"

He pushed her aside and smoothed out his shirt. The expression on his face, calm and collected, never faltered as he pointed back to the chair she'd been sitting in. "If you want to hear the truth then sit down. I'll tell you whatever it is you want to know."

Faith sat back down in the seat next to Buffy and leaned back, placing her feet up on the table as she folded her hands in her lap. She didn't take her eyes off Sam as he began pacing slowly and filling in some details of the story they already knew the broad strokes of concerning Julie. He told them the story of how everything began when he and Henry, Julie and her mother came to Cleveland more than a hundred years before. They'd come from England to start over in America, just like so many other people were at that time. Sam told them how Henry was from a long line of Watchers and how they knew from the day Julie was born that she was destined to be a Slayer.

He skipped past most of the years, giving them tidbits of information about the rivalry they had with a few other families they'd come to Cleveland with. Each of the women in both families had powers most normal people could only dream about. They got mixed in with dark magic soon after arriving in Cleveland and to protect them from the rival family—a name Faith didn't catch as Sam spoke too quickly—the immortality spell was cast by Laura and Julie to protect their own family.

Faith wasn't sure what to believe anymore. The stories kept changing, the little bits of information seeming like a small string of truths in a much bigger web of lies. She was sure of one thing—not everything Sam was telling them was the full truth. There were just too many gaps in between what he was actually telling them. She looked over at Buffy several times while Sam continued to talk and she knew from the look in Buffy's eyes that she didn't quite believe every word he said either.

"I've heard enough," Faith said to Sam before he could keep going. "So here's the deal—you'll pay us for helping you out, but we're gonna do it our way. We'll stay away from Julie and her friends…"

"Faith..."

"Shut up, Ken," she snapped as she dropped her feet to the floor. "If Julie starts shit, though, we're takin' her out. No questions asked. And one more thing, Sam."

"What's that?"

"If I find out you've been lying to us, using us as pawns in this little game Julie is playing with us, you are a dead man."

Sam nodded his head and stood up from the chair he'd sat down in. "I understand why you feel that way. We'll do it your way, Faith. For the record, I haven't spoken with my family formally in years. When you first saw me in Henry's bar the other night that was the first time I'd seen my own brother in over twenty years."

He pulled out a thick envelope from the briefcase sitting near him on the table and slid it across towards them. He gritted his teeth as Faith grabbed it, stuffed it inside the front pocket of her jacket, and without another word got up and motioned for Buffy and Kennedy to follow her towards the door. Faith grabbed the duffel bag full of the weapons she'd packed and slung the strap over her shoulder as they walked out the door together.

She knew one thing for sure now. They really didn't know what they were getting themselves into when it came to Julie and her family. She had to finish this—end it, whatever—and she had to do it soon before Julie actually became the big threat her reputation and history indicated she could be. Just _how_ she wasn't quite sure yet.


	19. Chapter 19

Morning came quickly and Faith, who had fallen asleep on the couch in the living room, was woken by the bright sunlight streaming in through the windows. After she, Buffy, and Kennedy had gotten home, she found out from Kennedy that she and Willow were in the middle of a rather big fight. Faith offered up her room to Kennedy and ended up alone on the couch in the living room. Buffy had already gone to bed at that point and she was left with no other option than to sleep on the couch or make the trek to the apartment. She'd been too tired to care and she woke up feeling rather refreshed despite the tension that was building in the side of her neck.

"Don't you have a bed?" Dawn asked her as she stood at the end of the couch staring down at her with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Yeah, I got a bed. Gave it up to Ken last night," Faith muttered as she stretched out as much as she could on the short sofa and sat up slowly. "Haven't seen ya around much, Dawnie."

"Haven't been around much, Faithy."

"You going back to school or what?"

"Been taking some classes to get caught up," Dawn replied, sounding as uninterested in the conversation as she looked. "Giles told me about this whole thing with Julie. Do you really think she's going to be a threat?"

"Yeah. Even if it turns out to be something stupid like she really is fuckin' crazy and just playing with us."

Dawn sat down on the opposite end of the couch, reached for the remote, and flipped on the TV. "What's going on with you and Buffy?"

"What're ya talkin' about?"

"You better not hurt her again, Faith. There's nothing stopping me from trying to kick your ass if you do."

"Not planning to, kid."

"But," Dawn sighed as she turned on the TV and began flipping through the channels, "I've seen the way she looked at you the other day. I haven't seen her look at anyone like that in a long time. Sometimes she used to look at Riley like that, but it's different with you."

Faith just nodded, not quite sure what to say and still not quite awake enough to be having this conversation with Dawn. She'd half expected Dawn to tell her off, to tell her to leave Buffy alone and find someone else. She expected a major freak out as well, but none of those things were coming, unless she was mistaken and this was all just the build up towards one. With Dawn, she could never be sure of just what to expect from her.

"If this was a month ago," Dawn stopped on the local morning news and lowered the volume on the TV, "I wouldn't...no, I _couldn't_ accept this. You've changed. A lot. Everyone has. Willow told me it could be the effects from the barrier spell, but I think it's something else."

"What else would it be?"

"Something that would have happened no matter where we ended up, here or somewhere else. Face it, Faith. You've always wanted my sister," Dawn said. She kept her voice low and firm but her eyes took on a glint that showed she was genuinely happy. "You've always wanted her and never could have her before, but now...now you have her, right?"

"Why are you so interested in me and Buffy?"

"Because she's my sister and it's been way too long since I've seen her this happy. And," Dawn paused as she smirked at Faith, "I don't think I've ever seen you this happy before either. Okay, technically I actually _know_ I haven't, but you know what I mean, right?"

"I know."

"This is me giving you the whole approval thing," Dawn said with a smile. "Just...keep the PDA more private than public, okay? I really don't think I could handle seeing you and Buffy...you know."

"Couldn't handle me doing what?" Buffy asked as she walked into the living room.

"PDA with Faith."

Buffy looked over at Faith with a raised eyebrow as she stood near her and crossed her arms over her chest. "You told her?"

"No," Faith laughed as Dawn got up from the couch and practically ran out of the living room. "She just started talking about you and me, B."

"Oh."

Faith reached out and pulled Buffy down onto her lap, smiling at her as she leaned in and gave her a soft kiss. Buffy tried to squirm out of her lap, but Faith held her down as she deepened the kiss, eliciting a small moan from Buffy as she did. She pulled back when she heard footsteps descending on the stairs and let Buffy get up from her lap as Xander walked into the living room, sleepily rubbing his eye as he yawned loudly.

"Coffee?" Buffy asked Faith as she motioned to the kitchen.

"Sure."

"Do I smell or something? Why does everyone leave whenever I walk into the room?" Xander called out after them as they quickly walked into the kitchen.

"Oh god," Buffy laughed quietly as Faith grabbed a hold of her and crushed her lips against hers. She could feel Buffy's excitement and arousal as her hands slid down her back and gripped onto her ass. Buffy pushed her back with a groan and shook her head no. "Coffee first, Faith."

They'd both been oblivious to the fact that they were not alone as alone there in the kitchen as they'd thought. Buffy's face flushed red when Giles cleared his throat, looking rather uncomfortable at having witnessed the kiss between them. Dawn was standing by the fridge, giggling with Willow as Buffy walked past them and grabbed a mug out of one of the cupboards. Faith stood there where she was, unable to wipe the smirk off her face as she slowly licked her lips and kept her eyes on Buffy.

She could see the embarrassment Buffy was feeling, possibly even a bit of shame, that they'd had an audience. Even though the day before Buffy had wanted to tell everyone about them, they hadn't gotten the chance to just yet. Faith knew this wasn't how Buffy wanted the others to find out about them, but she also knew it was too late now. It felt weird to stand there in the kitchen with the others staring intently at her and then over at Buffy almost as if they were trying to figure out just what _was_ going on between them.

Faith grabbed a mug from the same cupboard and walked over to where Buffy was still standing by the coffeemaker. She smiled at her a little as she placed her mug on the counter next to hers and still couldn't take her eyes off of her for more than a second at a time. The sweatpants she'd cut into shorts weren't helping either and she leaned back a little as her eyes swept over Buffy's bare legs and the ass that was accentuated by her tight shorts.

"How did things go last night?" Giles asked, breaking the heavy silence.

"Okay," Buffy said quietly, her voice barely above a whisper as she stared at Faith.

"Sam told us pretty much what we already knew or guessed," Faith said as she tore her eyes off of Buffy to look over at Giles. "We're also doing this our way now."

"And by 'our' way you mean what exactly?"

"No more reporting to Sam about patrol, that kind of shit. We're still gonna get paid too," she said with a smirk as she picked up the mug Buffy had filled for her and walked over to the table to sit down.

"I see," Giles replied, smiling a little at her as he picked up his cup of tea and took a tentative sip. "I suppose this will benefit the three of you in the long run. Henry has informed me that Sam pays those who work for him rather well."

"Ever wonder where he gets the cash?" Faith asked as she watched Buffy walk over to the table and sit down in the chair next to her. "I mean, he's gotta get it from somewhere, right?"

"You live for more than a hundred years and see what kind of money you have in the end," Buffy muttered under her breath. "I still don't like this. Any of it. We have to find a way to deal with Julie. Now."

"I'm working on finding a reversal spell to strip them of their immortality along with the spell to find out just where the gem of Amara is on Julie," Willow said as she joined them at the table. "I've been talking with Laura about the barrier spell. She's given me a bit of information on how it works and how things are going to end up as the spell breaks itself apart."

"And how the hell do ya know you can trust her?" Faith asked, scoffing at Willow as she shrugged her shoulders. "How do ya know she ain't tellin' you shit that's not even true?"

"I don't," Willow retaliated as she stared hard at Faith. "But there are spell books, the same ones that Julie used when she—"

"Don't give a flyin' fuck, Willow. Far as I'm fuckin' concerned, you can't trust any of 'em. No, correction...you _shouldn't_ trust any of 'em!"

"Faith..." Buffy said softly as she placed a hand on her knee and gave it a gentle squeeze. She mouthed 'don't' before Faith could even get up from the chair. The sudden burst of anger she had felt just melted away under Buffy's touch.

"What are we going to do, then?" Willow asked. The others all looked around at each other. "We can't just sit around waiting for one of them to make a move, can we?"

"Unfortunately, at this time we may have no other choice but to wait it out and see what unfolds over the next couple of days," Giles said quietly. "For now, we go about doing what we've been doing all along. Faith, a word?"

Giles stood up from his chair and motioned for her to follow him out of the kitchen. She just looked over at Buffy for a moment before she got up and followed Giles into the living room. Xander was lying on the couch watching TV with Andrew and both of them nearly leapt to their feet and ran out of there when Giles gave them a look. Faith sat down in the chair by the window while Giles sat down in the other and let out a heavy sigh as he removed his glasses and tiredly pinched the bridge of his nose before turning to look at her.

"Before you say anything, I want you to know that we can't afford to put ourselves into any danger when it comes to Julie. I don't believe you realize how powerful she is even without her having her full power yet. You are acting irrational and paranoid, Faith."

"Am I? Whatever."

"You are right when you say we shouldn't trust any of them, but that does not mean you get to start calling the shots, making demands with Sam, who may very well be one of our true allies."

"You think the same thing about Henry, but who the fuck are we supposed to believe? Which one's the good guy and which one's the bad guy?"

"Perhaps neither is quite so clearly one or the other," Giles suggested. "You do remember what I told you about keeping your head together for this?"

"Yeah."

"Then please put a halt to this capricious behaviour. Stop acting before thinking."

"Fine."

"Now er...I'm not quite sure how to ask you this, but..." he coughed as he looked uncomfortable all of a sudden. Faith just smirked as she stared at him, waiting for him to continue even though she knew he'd ask her about her and Buffy. "What exactly is going on with you and Buffy?"

"What's it look like?"

"Are you two...er, intimate?" He asked, fumbling over the words as a deep red blush flushed his entire face and neck. Faith smirked wider as she leaned back in the chair and just shrugged nonchalantly.

"Y'know what, G? Best you ask Buffy about that."

"I only ask because I am concerned. With the barrier spell and the effect it has been having on you three, I cannot stress enough how careful we must be about this entire situation."

"I know that. Just can't shake the feeling they're all fuckin' _playing_ us—stringin' us along and settin' us up and then when they get us distracted enough, the shit is gonna hit the fan at full force. I don't trust any of 'em and Sam knows it now."

"I understand where you are coming from," Giles said calmly. "Faith, we had no idea what we were walking into when we arrived here. If it hadn't been for Angel—"

"We still wouldn't know, right?" She asked before he could even finish. "Thought he was sticking around for a couple days?"

"He is still here. He's been scouting for information for the past couple of nights."

"So what the hell are we gonna do then, G? I can't just fuckin' go along with their games. That's not how I fucking deal with shit and you know that. And again I'm gonna ask you, what the fuck does it matter if there's something goin' on between me and Buffy?"

"None of us can afford the slightest distraction and I'm afraid this developing relationship between the two of you is precisely that."

"This your way of saying you don't approve?"

"That is not what I was saying. Right now, I need you all focused and ready for whatever will come next. Willow is working on the spells that will help us end this and in the meantime I need for you to go along with it—no questions asked and no rash decisions. No impulsive actions that will cost us every little bit of progress we've managed to make in the last several days."

Faith groaned as she closed her eyes, hating the feeling of being talked to as if she was a child being scolded by a parent. She respected Giles and his concern, but this was pushing at the boundaries of going too far. The day had already been ten shades of weird for her and she'd barely been awake for half an hour. She wasn't sure how much more she'd be able to take before she snapped. Her emotions were high strung lately, mainly because of the Hellmouth, but she knew it was also because of what she was feeling for Buffy.

She couldn't wait to get her hands on Julie. More accurately, she couldn't wait to watch her turn to dust and float away in the wind. She couldn't wait to see the last look on her face before she did just that either. She wanted to stop Julie before she got close to doing anything, but from the looks of things it wasn't going to happen that way. She said nothing to Giles as she stood up and headed up the stairs to her room. She had to try to clear her head of all things Julie along with Dawn's little confrontation, the kiss seen by everyone in the kitchen, and—last but not least—the conversation with Giles that currently had her anger at a boil deep inside her.

Luckily, Kennedy was absent when she reached her room. Deciding the best therapy was a few hours of working out in the basement, she stripped out of her clothes and pulled on a pair of baggy sweats and the tank top that sat on the floor crumpled in a ball. She grabbed a hair elastic and pulled her hair back into a loose ponytail as she walked out of her room, nearly colliding with Kennedy as she sleepily trudged down the hallway.

"Walk much?" She groaned as she stared at Faith. "And thanks for letting me crash on your bed last night."

"Sleep in there whenever ya like," Faith replied as she headed for the stairs. "Gonna take all my shit over to the apartment later."

"So you _are_ moving out then?"

"For now."

"Why?"

"Need my space."

"What about Buffy?"

"What about her?" Faith asked, stopping before she reached the top of the stairs. "Not like it's gonna matter if I'm here or not."

"It'll matter to her, Faith."

"Whatever," she mumbled as she headed down the stairs, trying so hard not to let Kennedy get into her head and mess up her already very highly strung emotions.

She headed straight down to the basement, not caring she still had a nearly full cup of coffee still sitting on the kitchen table and most likely past that warm enough to drink stage. Buffy was already down there warming up, stretching out on the mats with the radio blaring. Faith just stood at the bottom of the stairs watching her. Buffy turned to look at her as she stood up from the mats, saying nothing as she beckoned Faith to come over to where she stood.

She knew that look in Buffy's eyes all too well now. She was ready for an hour of sparring no holds barred. She could feel her whole body just tingling as she slowly walked over to Buffy and before she could even blink, she was on her back on the mats with Buffy on top of her, pinning her down.

"You really aren't trying today, are you?" Buffy asked softly as she leaned in close to Faith until their lips were barely touching. "Come on, Faith."

Faith chuckled as she stared into Buffy's eyes for a moment. She got her hands free from Buffy's grip and pulled her in for a kiss. She kept it short and sweet and flipped Buffy over onto her back, smirking as she sat astride her and pinned her hands against the mat by her head.

"You really don't like anyone topping you, do you?" Buffy asked, her lips curling into a salacious smile as Faith shook her head no. "Didn't think so."

Buffy managed to throw her off of her and flipped onto her feet. Faith loved it when she got into it like this. In some ways she found it nearly as satisfying as sex. It made her entire body feel as if it was on fire and she just couldn't get enough of it. They circled each other for a few minutes, both looking for an opportunity to attack. Faith's mind was far from sparring now as she watched Buffy slowly lick her lips.

"We gonna do this or we gonna fuck around, B?"

Buffy laughed as she tackled Faith to the floor. Faith grabbed on to Buffy's hips as Buffy kissed her feverishly. She could feel the desire running through Buffy and it urged her on. They were so into the kiss that neither of them were aware they were no longer alone until the music stopped suddenly. Buffy nearly jumped off of Faith as they both turned to see Giles standing there not looking very amused at all. Buffy looked down at Faith, reached down for her hand, and pulled her to her feet.

"We were just—"

"Fucking around," Faith finished for her as she shrugged, acting as if it were no big deal. "Sparring gets kinda boring when it's the same shit all the time."

"This is what I was talking about when I said that you two are a distraction to one another."

"A distraction?" Buffy scoffed as she folded her arms over her chest. "We were just...messing around, Giles. Kind of got a little...out of hand, but these things happen when we..."

"Enough," Giles sighed as he stared directly at Buffy. "I am very aware of your relationship with Faith now, but with Julie being as unpredictable as she's proving to be, I do not think that now is a good time for you two to explore whatever it is that's going on between you."

"Excuse me?" Buffy laughed bitterly as she watched Faith casually begin to make her way to the stairs. "I get caught making out with her one time and you're acting like I'm not going to be able to keep my mind focused enough on trying to find ways to take out Julie. You're wrong, Giles."

"Be as that may, you should be training, not—"

"Making out like a couple of horny teenagers?" Faith offered as she reached the bottom step. Buffy just shot her a look and rolled her eyes as Faith sat down on the steps. "What, B?"

"Nothing. Just forget about it."

Giles let out a heavy sigh as he leaned against the workbench. "I'll need you two to be more focused on things from here on out. We cannot afford any distractions until we've dealt with Julie. There is no way to know what she will do or when and we'd best be prepared for _whatever_ she may throw our way next."

"What's going on?" Kennedy asked as she came down the stairs with three bottles of water. "Am I missing out on an important meeting or something?"

"Nah," Faith said, taking one of the offered bottles of water from Kennedy as she stepped past her. "Giles caught me and B fucking around instead of training."

"Oh really?" Kennedy laughed as she tossed a bottle over to a very flushed Buffy.

"Shut up, Kennedy," Buffy muttered under her breath as she opened the bottle of water and took a sip. "What did you come down here for anyway, Giles?"

"I came to check in on you because I suspected you might not actually be training. It would seem that my suspicions were indeed well founded."

"We are not children!" Buffy exclaimed as she stalked over to the steps and sat down next to Faith. "We don't need you checking on us just because you have suspicions that we're not actually training."

"I realize that you are not children," Giles replied. "However, I am responsible for your training and I do not want any of you to become careless because you are distracted by your, er...attraction to one another."

Faith just looked at Buffy, trying so hard not to burst out laughing. Buffy looked terrified and embarrassed as she looked down at the floor. Faith knew she could definitely chalk this day up as one of the most fucked up days she'd had in a long time. Things were just a little too weird for her and it seemed like things were going to continue that way throughout the rest of the day. She wanted to take a stand, tell Giles off for the way he was talking to them, treating them as if they were nothing but children caught doing something they weren't supposed to. As her amusement at Buffy's discomfort faded, she felt her anger boiling up again and she breathed in and out slowly, trying to calm herself down as Giles turned away and began to converse quietly with Kennedy.

"I hate this," Buffy whispered as she lifted her head and looked over at Faith. "He's treating us like a couple of kids."

"Not your fault you couldn't control yourself around me, B."

"Faith... how can you act like nothing just happened?"

"You freakin' out cos Giles caught us?"

"Freaking out is an understatement. I'm beyond freaking out!"

"It ain't the end of the world, B. Everyone already knows about us."

"Great."

"What, ya didn't wanna tell anyone?" Faith asked, furrowing her brow as she leaned forward a little, trying to get Buffy to look at her. "You said yesterday mornin' ya wanted to tell everyone about us."

"I know what I said, Faith," she snapped, her voice so cold it made Faith shiver. "Maybe we should've just trained like we're supposed to. It's not my fault I can't..."

"You can't what?"

"Stop thinking about you," she whispered as she finally looked over at her again. "Yesterday was all sorts of wow and then some and today..."

"Is all sorts of fucked up and then some?" Faith asked, smiling a little as Buffy let out a short laugh and nodded her head. "Just don't let it get to ya, B. Look on the bright side of things for a minute here."

"What bright side?"

"Everyone knows," Faith said softly. "They all know and really don't care. That's a good thing, right?"

"Yeah," Buffy shrugged as she looked over at Giles and Kennedy. "I guess it is a good thing."

Faith laughed as she put her arm around Buffy's shoulders. "It _is_ a good thing. Look, Giles just has this stick up his ass over this whole deal. This whole thing with us just kinda came outta nowhere and like sideswiped him. Gotta look at it from his view, B."

"Okay, rational Faith is a little scary."

"Buffy? Faith? Will you two please leave the talking for later and get back to training?" Giles said before Faith had a chance to retaliate for that comment. "And this time, please train properly. We cannot afford to slack."

"Fine," Buffy said as she stood up and motioned for Faith to follow her over to the mats. "We'll train _properly_ this time."

"We'll sit down later before you head out on patrol and discuss what we'll do next. In the meantime, please try to keep your priorities in order and stay focused on the things that are most important," Giles said pointedly as he walked over to the stairs.

Kennedy was already at the bag, kicking and punching it without breaking the rhythm she'd set for herself. Buffy stood on the mats waiting, narrowing her eyes at Faith until she finally got up from the steps and walked over to her. She just walked right past her and over to the radio, flipping it on and filling the quiet basement with the sounds of hard driving rock. Turning around, she cracked her knuckles and smirked at Buffy, blowing her a kiss as she strode over to her.

"What are you waiting for?" Buffy asked, teasing her as they began to circle one another.

"Not a thing, B. Let's dance."

****

Faith wasn't surprised in the least to find Julie at the apartment when she went there late in the afternoon. She was alone this time, having convinced Buffy that she was just going to drop her stuff off and come right back to the house. Buffy of course wasn't happy that she really was moving into the apartment, but she said nothing to her when she walked out the front door. She dropped the duffel bag to the floor as she kicked the door shut behind her.

"What're ya doing here, Julie?"

"Dropped in," she replied cheerfully. "I thought maybe you and I could have another little chat. I figured you'd be here soon. Talk about perfect timing!"

Faith just stood by the door with her arms crossed over her chest. Julie stood up from the couch and slowly approached her, smirking as Faith tried not to flinch when she ran her long, sharp fingernails over her jaw. Julie stepped back with a look of surprise as she looked Faith up and down.

"Oh, so you did fuck her after I left yesterday, didn't you? So, what, is she just another notch on the old bedpost there for you, Faithy?"

"_You_ are a notch, Buffy is—"

"Aw, you are in love with her, aren't you? How sweet is that? Two Slayers in love. There's something that doesn't happen every day."

"What the hell do you want?" Faith asked, really not in the mood to deal with Julie and the sick little head games she was quickly figuring out that she loved to play.

"So," Julie said, ignoring her as she grabbed onto her arm, forced her over to the couch, and shoved her down. "You really are going to move in here, aren't you? How does Buffy feel about that? I bet she doesn't like it. Am I right or am I right?"

"She doesn't like it, but I need my space. Y'know how it is," Faith replied, giving up and going along with whatever game Julie was playing.

"I have a good feeling about you two," Julie laughed as she sat down next to Faith and smiled at her as if they were friends, two friends sitting down and talking like normal human beings. It made Faith's blood boil and she breathed in deeply, trying to calm her anger. "Sometimes love is just so right, you know what I mean, Faithy?"

"Yeah," she said through clenched teeth, forcing a smile.

"It's like what me and James have. Our love is just...eternal, literally. I have a feeling you and Buffy have something quite like that. But," Julie sighed as she stood up and began pacing back and forth in front of Faith. "But, this isn't what I came here for. See, I know you know everything now and I really don't like that. We were supposed to be friends, Faithy. What do you do as soon as your friendly not-so-neighbourhood vampire shows up and tells you these...things about me? You turn against me."

"We're not friends, Juliet."

"Again with the Juliet! I go by Julie now. Get with the freaking program!"

Faith said nothing as she watched Julie pace in front of her, a string of different emotions flickering over her face. Julie stopped after a moment and looked down at Faith, smirking as she shook her head and sat back down next to her.

"Do you even know why I want to open the Hellmouth?"

"No, why?"

"Because," Julie exclaimed as she grabbed onto Faith's knee and gripped it hard, making her wince just a little. "My soul was banished to the dimension between this world and Hell and I want it back. I _need_ it back. If I can't get it back, I can't get my powers back. Do you understand, Faithy?"

"Crystal clear."

"So I cannot stress how important it is that you stay the fuck out of the way. I understand you are trying to save the world here, but I'm being selfish and doing this for my own good. You get that, Faithy?"

"Got it."

"I'm not opening the Hellmouth to bring forth the demons that I know would just love to be able to walk the earth and roam freely. You really understand that, don't you?"

"Told ya I did, Julie."

"Great," she smiled brightly as she finally let go of Faith's knee. "I'm glad we settled that between us. So, you keep doing what you're doing with my uncle and my father and just stay out of my way. Got it?"

"Get out."

"Do we or do we not have an understanding here, Faithy?"

"It's _Faith_, not Faithy," she nearly growled as she stood up and grabbed onto Julie, forcing her towards the door. "And we do not have an understanding, Julie. You open the Hellmouth and who the fuck knows what's gonna happen. You're gonna unleash Hell on earth whether that's your intention or not. God, you really are fuckin' bat-shit crazy, aren't ya?"

"Maybe I am," Julie laughed as she pushed Faith away from her and opened the door. "But you know something? It sure makes life interesting and a hell of a lot less...dull. For me it does anyway."

Julie left without saying another word and Faith just slammed the door shut, laughing as she kept herself from putting her fist through the wall. This was definitely one of those days when too much had happened and she was having a hard time dealing with the emotional backlash.

"Just fuckin' great," she muttered under her breath as she picked up her bag and headed for the bedroom.

She tossed the bag onto the bed and let out a heavy sigh, letting her thoughts consume her once again. She just looked down at the bed, still unmade from the day before, and she allowed herself—just for a moment—to think back to what had transpired between her and Buffy. Even she knew that it wasn't just a fuck. They'd made love and it was hands down the best moment of her fucked up life. It brought a much needed smile to her face and she walked out of the bedroom with only one thing on her mind: Buffy.

She was in so deep that even if she wanted to she wouldn't be able to pull herself out. Even with everything going on with Julie's family and her life in general, the only thing she really cared about was Buffy. She wanted to make sure that she didn't ruin it with Buffy. She didn't want to hurt her, to lead her on and not be able to be what Buffy wanted her to be, needed her to be. There were so many things, so many feelings she was experiencing that she couldn't quite find the right words to describe. She wanted to tell Buffy everything she was feeling, but again the problem with finding the right words was there.

She hadn't forgotten what Julie had told her about the Hellmouth, though. Before she let thoughts of Buffy consume her completely, she picked up the cordless phone sitting on the end table by the couch and dialled the number of the house, hoping to hell that Giles answered the phone before anyone else. Before the line rang even once, however, someone knocked on the door and she hung up the phone. She walked over to the door and opened it slowly, revealing an entirely different vampire.

"Faith," he said softly. "Can I come in?"

"Come in, Angel."

"Nice place," he said as he looked around before sitting on the couch. "Part of your deal with Sam?"

"Part of it, yeah. What're you doing here?"

"There's some information I've found out that I think you'll need to know."

"You tell the others yet?"

"Not yet, but I will before I leave," Angel said. He waited for Faith to join him on the couch before he looked at her. "You have to let her open the Hellmouth. Once she does, there will be four very crucial minutes where the gem of Amara will not be able to protect her, nor will the immortality spell she's under be in effect. You need to be there when she opens the Hellmouth and you need to take her out before she can get her soul from—"

"Yeah, I know. From the dimension between worlds. She just told me."

"It seems like you really don't need me here to figure things out—you seem to be doing just fine on your own," he said slowly as he stood up. "Don't hurt her. Love her like she deserves to be loved."

She knew he was talking about Buffy. How he knew about the two of them, she wasn't so sure. She could see the heartbreak he felt and she could feel just how hard it was for him to say those words. She flashed him a smile, a silent promise, assuring him that she wouldn't dare dream of ever hurting Buffy. How could she when Buffy was the only one she'd ever fallen in love with?


	20. Chapter 20

The rain was torrential and after a brief phone call with Perry, patrol had been called off for the night. Rather than go back to the house Faith stayed at the apartment, sitting in the dark and watching the rain as it hit the window. Just before midnight Buffy came to the apartment, her clothes drenched and her cheeks stained with tears. When Faith opened the door she was greeted with a slap across the face by a very distraught and angry Buffy.

"What was that for, B?"

"You just leave and you..." Buffy sighed as she took off her jacket and let it fall to the floor as Faith shut and locked the door behind her. "I know you told me you were going to move in here, but I really thought you'd end up changing your mind or you know maybe I was reason enough for you to stay at the house."

"B, I told ya before I need my space. Sometimes I need to be alone."

"And I get that, really I do, but I...god, look at me. I'm a mess because of you!"

Buffy was shaking and not just because of her wet clothes. Faith wrapped her arms around her and just held her for a moment, closing her eyes and trying not to cry as she felt Buffy's hot tears against her neck. She pulled back just a little and reached up to gently wipe away Buffy's tears.

"Don't cry, B."

"I just...I hate this, Faith! We were doing so good and then you had to ruin it."

"Ruin it?" Faith frowned as she leaned in and gently kissed away the fresh tears that rolled down her cheeks. "B, I'm not ruining anything. Just cos I want my space doesn't mean you can't come here to see me. I'll even get ya a key, how about that?"

"It isn't the same."

"Ya gettin' all attached and clingy with me? Already, B?" Faith teased as she slowly began to back Buffy up towards the bedroom. "Better get you outta those wet clothes before ya get sick or somethin'."

Buffy just nodded and backed away from her once they reached the bedroom door. Faith tried not to breathe heavily. She tried not to tear Buffy's clothes off of her. That wasn't what Buffy had come there for. She told Buffy to borrow some of her clothes, whatever fit, and she went to the kitchen and threw on the kettle, glad she'd stopped at the store and picked up some instant coffee.

Faith flipped on a few lights as she made her way back over to the couch and sat down. She listened as Buffy moved around in the bedroom, a moment later walking out with nothing but a towel wrapped around her body and her wet clothes in her hands. Faith just peered over the back of the couch as she watched Buffy walk to the bathroom and disappear inside. She could feel her one-track mind coming back in waves as she closed her eyes and envisioned ravishing Buffy as soon as she walked out of the bathroom. The whistling of the kettle brought her back to her senses and she nearly jumped up from the couch as soon as Buffy walked out of the bathroom.

"Ya want a cup of coffee, B?"

"Sure."

"I don't have no milk or cream or nothin'," she said as she made her way to the kitchen. "Didn't ya find any clothes that fit?"

Buffy didn't say anything yet Faith could feel her right behind her. Her hands were shaking as she took the kettle off the burner and she closed her eyes as Buffy ran her hands down her arms slowly. She heard the towel drop to the floor with a soft thud as Buffy turned her around slowly, kissing her before she could say a single word or take a much needed breath. Buffy put Faith's hands around her before she ran her fingers up her arms slowly, goose bumps forming under her touch as she kissed her deeply.

Faith moaned softly as she ran her hands over Buffy's smooth back, feeling her muscles ripple under her touch. She wondered then if she was dreaming since the possibility of a naked Buffy kissing her in her kitchen wasn't very likely. Then again, Buffy was just full of surprises and she was only beginning to figure that out. She allowed Buffy to pull her back towards the bedroom ever so slowly as they kissed so deeply, so passionately, Faith wasn't sure she could take a breath even if they quit kissing.

Buffy stopped when she reached the bedroom door and pulled back from the kiss abruptly. Her eyes searched Faith's as if she was waiting for Faith to make the next move. She backed into the bedroom, beckoning her in with the sultriest look Faith had ever seen in her eyes. She struggled to regain some sense of cool as she followed Buffy slowly.

"Strip," Buffy demanded as she laid back on the bed and propped herself up on her elbows, watching Faith as she fumbled with the button on her jeans. "Now."

"B, what—"

"Strip, Faith."

Faith wasted not a second more as she stripped out of her clothes as quickly as she could. She crawled up onto the bed, placing one leg between Buffy's as she leaned down and captured her lips in a fierce kiss. She wanted to know what had gotten into her, why she was so bold in taking what she clearly wanted, yet the words never came as she found herself being flipped onto her back.

"Ya ever hear of foreplay, girlfriend?" Faith chuckled as Buffy began kissing down her neck, nibbling at the skin gently as her fingers roamed over her stomach and tentatively made their way to her aching nipple. "Fuck, B. What's gotten into ya?"

"You soon, I hope," Buffy chuckled softly as she trailed her lips back up Faith's neck and over her jaw.

"You went out slayin' before ya got here, didn't you?"

"Maybe."

"All worked up and needin' that itch scratched," Faith purred as she ran her hands down the length of Buffy's body as Buffy sat astride her and leaned back to stare down at her. "Didn't think you were..."

"Were what?"

"All dominating when you got that itch that needs scratchin'," Faith chuckled as she trailed her fingertips over Buffy's hips slowly. She sat up and wrapped her arms around Buffy, keeping her close as she licked and sucked her neck softly. "Gotta tell ya though, B, it's fuckin' hot."

"After the other morning..." Buffy groaned as Faith gripped her hips and ground her hot, wet pussy into her own. "I...oh fuck..."

"You what, B?" Faith asked, gasping softly as Buffy dug her nails into her shoulders. "Ya wanted more of this?"

Faith ran her fingers from her hip to her pussy, plunging two fingers deep inside of her without warning. She resisted the urge to kiss her, opting instead to watch her as she closed her eyes tightly and let out a feral moan. She could feel Buffy needing the release she knew she could offer her and she pulled her down with her as she lay back on the bed. Faith bit her lower lip as Buffy trailed a hand down her body, stopping when she reached her hip and let out another low, feral moan as Faith quickened the pace of the fingers fucking her hard and deep.

Buffy stared into her eyes as she ran the tip of her middle finger the length of Faith's slit, biting her lip as she felt how wet she was for her. Faith tried not to thrust her hips up into Buffy's hand as she slowly slipped her finger inside of her. She wasn't nearly as bold as she'd been the other morning, but Faith was far from complaining as wave after wave of pleasure coursed through her body. Buffy closed her eyes, her body shaking as her orgasm rippled through her body.

It was quick and despite that fact, Faith found herself completely spent even though she hadn't found her release yet. Buffy on the other hand wasn't and she kissed Faith quickly before trailing her lips and tongue down her neck and over the top of her breasts. Her skin felt like it was on fire as Buffy took a nipple into her mouth. Faith moaned softly, forcing her eyes to stay open as she watched Buffy lick and suck on her nipple while she rolled the other one between her fingers.

The lights flickered as thunder ripped through the sky and Faith lost the fight in keeping her eyes open as Buffy nipped and sucked her way over her breasts to her other nipple. Her heart was racing as Buffy kissed her way down her stomach, stopping just for a moment to look up at her.

"B, you don't—"

"I want to," she whispered as she placed soft, wet kisses along the inside of her thigh.

Faith saw the look of uncertainty in Buffy's eyes as she spread her legs slowly. Her eyes roamed over Faith's body and she sucked in a deep breath as she ran her fingers over Faith's glistening folds. Faith could hardly contain herself, her breath coming out in short, sharp gasps as Buffy cautiously ran her tongue the length of her slit, teasing her, slowly becoming more comfortable at what she was about to do. Faith threw her head back against the mattress as Buffy dipped her tongue inside her hole, gasping as she struggled not to grab on to the back of her head and force her into her pussy. She gripped the sheets, feeling them rip as Buffy circling the tip of her tongue over her overly sensitive clit.

"Oh fuck," she sighed out as she leaned up a little to look down at Buffy. "Just like that, babe."

The room fell into darkness as the power flickered off and Faith let go of the shredded sheets, placing her hands on the back of Buffy's head and encouraging her to keep going. She was so close, she could feel it building deep inside of her and she let out a soft sigh as Buffy lost the last sense of nervousness she had and sucked on her clit hard, forcing Faith's hips to buck up wildly against her. She went wild then, fucking Faith's hole with her tongue as deeply as she could, moaning as Faith came quickly, her whole body tensing as she let her orgasm course freely through her body.

She pulled Buffy back up on top of her, smiling lazily at her as she tucked her hair behind her ears. "Shit, B. That was fuckin'..."

"Mm-hmm."

"Hot," Faith finished as she closed her eyes, smiling as Buffy moved to lay her head down on her chest.

"Can I stay here with you tonight?"

"Of course. Not quite finished with ya yet," Faith chuckled as she softly stroked her fingers up and down Buffy's back. "Gotta say I didn't quite expect you to want to..."

"Want to what?" Buffy asked as she lifted her head and looked into her eyes. "Do this again?"

Faith nodded and Buffy smiled as she leaned in to kiss her. She kept it short and sweet and laid her head back down on Faith's chest, sighing out contentedly as she lazily ran her fingers over the underside of her left breast.

"Yeah," she said finally, closing her eyes and trying so desperately not to give in to the pull of sleep.

She wanted to spend all night fucking Buffy, making love to her, worshipping every inch of her body until she couldn't stand it and begged her to stop. She knew they should be focused on everything else happening instead of each other, but for a moment Faith really didn't care. The world could end and she'd die happy with Buffy in her arms. It was a scenario she'd only ever dreamt of before. For it to be a reality, for Buffy to really be there in her arms, it felt almost too good to be true.

She wasn't sure how long she'd lain there thinking of Buffy before Buffy's soft, lazy touches became a little more insistent. She looked down at Buffy, smiling as Buffy lifted her head to look into her eyes. Even in the darkness she could see every inch of her, falling harder and deeper in love with her with every second that passed by.

"What are you thinking about?" Buffy asked softly.

"You. Always thinking about you, B."

"You're really sweet sometimes, you know that?"

"Sometimes, yeah."

"You know what I keep thinking about?"

"What, B?"

"How amazing it is when I'm with you, even when I'm just lying here all..."

"Naked and trying to cop a feel?" Faith asked, smirking as Buffy pinched her stomach. "Sorry, B. I really couldn't resist."

"Of course not," she laughed as she laid her head back down on her chest and sighed softly. "But you know what I mean though, right? How amazing it can feel just laying here with you. I've never...it's never been like this with anyone else. Not with Angel, not with Riley, and definitely not with Spike."

"Feelin' the same way, B. Definitely can get used to this," Faith smiled as she kissed the top of Buffy's head softly. "Did Angel come by the house tonight?"

"Yeah, he did, a couple hours ago. To say goodbye and talk to me...about you. You know what he told me, Faith? He told me to be patient with you. I think I've been pretty patient with you so far, right?"

"Oh yeah," Faith replied. "Coming here in the middle of the night to fuck, that's pretty patient, B."

"Well, that kind of just happened. It wasn't like I—"

"You don't have to lie or anything, okay? If you came here to fuck just say it. Ain't like I'm gonna complain about it. You went slaying, you were feeling all worked up and you thought to yourself 'gee, I wonder what Faith is doing right now. Maybe she wants to spend the night fucking 'till neither of us can walk straight'."

"Faith!" Buffy laughed as she moved more fully on top of her. "I didn't think that! Well, okay, it may have come close, but not quite _those_ words. I really was upset you'd left. I don't even know why it's affecting me like this. This is all still new and—"

"Maybe its cos you're in—I mean you're feelin' these things for me you never felt before, so I guess it's pretty fuckin' natural that me leaving to move in here is gonna make you shed a few tears."

Faith winced slightly at having almost said that Buffy was in love with her. They weren't even near that point yet or at least she didn't think they were. It wasn't as if she had a lot of experience with love or being in love with someone. She knew how hard it was for Buffy to love someone else and how she'd never be able to love so easily, so freely, after all she'd gone through with Angel and then with Riley. She'd been told stories, mostly by Xander, about Riley and the more she heard about his and Buffy's relationship, the more she realized she hadn't been in love with him the way she probably tried to convince herself she was.

"You're doing it again."

"Doing what, B?"

"Spacing out on me," she chuckled softly as Faith rolled them over onto their sides. "You really do it a lot, don't you?"

"Yeah, ever since I was in prison—I had nothing but time on my hands to think. It's kinda like torture you can't quite escape from, being lost in your own thoughts. It's different now cos all I seem to think about is you and the shit that's going on with Julie and her family and then with Sam."

"You still don't trust him, do you?"

"Don't trust any of 'em, B. Can't really complain much, though. I mean, I got a place of my own outta this deal and money in my pocket. Doin' better for myself now than I ever have my whole life. Startin' to think that coming here was the best thing I could've done. Shit, I got you outta this whole deal too."

"Yeah, you did," Buffy smiled at her as she leaned forward and gave her a soft, light kiss as they intertwined their legs and moved closer together. "Why can't every night be like this from here on out?"

"Dunno, B. We got the weight of the world on our shoulders and with Julie, we can't know what's gonna happen next. Just thinkin' that for now, just for tonight, we can forget about all that shit and worry about what we're gonna do next in the morning."

"I'm thinking I like that plan. I kind of also like this," Buffy whispered as she ran her hand down Faith's back and stopped when she reached the soft curve of her ass and gave it a little squeeze. "I don't know why I'm so comfortable with you like this. It just feels..."

"Like we should've always done this?"

"I was going to say perfect, but that works too. How come we've never been able to talk like this before?"

"Maybe cos we've never laid in bed naked and basked in the afterglow together? Are you normally this chatty after you..."

"Fucked? No, not really."

"I'm startin' to think that you hanging around with me ain't such a good thing. Clearly I'm a bad influence on ya," Faith chuckled softly.

"Clearly."

Faith groaned as Buffy pushed her onto her back and kissed her passionately. She smiled into the kiss knowing it was going to be a very long and sleepless night.

****

The first rays of the morning sun shone in through the window and the smell of rain still hung heavy in the air. Faith crawled out of bed, careful not to wake Buffy as she grabbed some clean clothes, pulling them on as she walked out of the bedroom. Every inch of her body was sore in an achingly amazing way. Never had she been able to find another who could keep up with her in bed and she'd found her match in Buffy and then some. She put the kettle on the stove and turned on the burner before she headed out onto the balcony for a much needed cigarette.

The city was just waking, ready to start yet another day. She looked down at the people on the streets wondering what they'd think if they only knew they lived on a Hellmouth. Most wouldn't believe it—would choose to actively _dis_believe it—and others would run scared. It was how she felt at times, wanting to run away from this life just to find something normal. Her life would never be normal, though, and she'd accepted that a long time ago. But with Buffy she was finally getting a taste of what normal could be like.

She sighed and put the unlit cigarette back into the pack, suddenly not feeling that craving overtaking her as it usually did. She walked back inside to find Buffy dressed in the clothes she'd worn the night before and sitting at the small kitchen table stirring the instant coffee crystals into the mug of hot water in front of her.

"We should probably head to the house soon," Buffy said quietly as Faith leaned down to kiss her. Buffy stopped her before she could and Faith groaned as she straightened and walked over to the cupboard to pull out a mug for herself. "Um, everyone might be a little worried. I didn't exactly tell anyone where I was going last night."

"Whatever, B."

"Are you okay, Faith? You're acting a little weird."

"Tired is all," she said with a forced smile before she poured some of the hot water into her mug and walked over to the table. "Long night. Y'know how it is. Makes me a little cranky when I don't get enough sleep. Ever since we found the seal I haven't had a full night's sleep."

"Me neither, but I don't think last night was because of the seal, it was more because of...well, you know."

"You can't even say it in the light of day, can ya?"

"Say what? That we just spent the entire night fucking?" Buffy asked, raising an eyebrow as Faith stirred in a spoonful of the instant coffee. "I think it was more than just fucking, Faith."

Faith shrugged, afraid to agree with her since she knew she was right. It had been more than just fucking. Fucking she was good at, it didn't make her scared and it didn't make her think. They'd made love, all night long, barely stopping long enough to catch their breaths before they were right back at it again. The morning after thing was something she still wasn't quite used to either, but one look into Buffy's eyes and it just felt right.

"What did Angel tell you last night exactly?"

"Oh, we're changing the subject?" Buffy asked, rolling her eyes as she lifted her mug and took a small sip. "He just told me about Julie, her plans to open the Hellmouth, and how there's a specific time period when we can take her out."

"There is no we, Buffy. It's me. _I'm_ the one that's supposed to take her out."

"Yeah, I know that, Faith. He also told me there's a chance that if she does open the Hellmouth and we stop her, that anyone within ten feet is going to be sucked into the portal that's under the seal. A world between worlds. The details are a little sketchy still, but I'm sure Giles is all over it."

"I just want this thing to be over with," Faith said under her breath.

"And you think I don't? For once I'd like to go an entire month without having to deal with an apocalypse or a crazy Slayer vampire hybrid that is planning to open the Hellmouth to get her soul back. I just want things to be..."

"Normal?"

"Yeah."

"Me too, B."

"Do you think things ever will be normal for us?"

"For us? Never. After last night, though," she smiled as she licked over her lips slowly, "I got a little taste of what normal could be like. Also got a little taste of something else too."

After spending all night together, she thought it'd be impossible to make Buffy blush again. She grinned as she watched Buffy's cheeks flush, then stared down into her mug as she shook her head. They sat there in oddly comforting silence as they drank their coffee. Buffy kept pulling a face of disgust with every sip she took, yet she still drank it until it was gone.

It was after ten before they reached the house and from the looks of things and the countless books that were spread out on the kitchen table, Faith knew that they were all in full-on research mode. Even Andrew had his nose in a book and he barely looked up at the two of them when they walked in through the back door. Everyone else, however, looked over at them for a long few moments. Faith knew they each had their questions as to where Buffy had been all night and she wasn't going to be the one to answer any of them. Their relationship was no secret and yet she wasn't so sure how Buffy would handle the others finding out about their bedroom activities.

"Where were you?" Dawn asked as Buffy sat down at the table next to her. Faith opted for standing by the counter, folding her arms over her chest when Kennedy shot her a knowing glare. "I thought you said you were going out slaying and nobody heard you come back."

"I went to see Faith," Buffy replied quietly, her eyes drifting over to meet with Faith's for a moment. "Besides, what does it matter if I'm gone for the whole night instead of just most of the night?"

"It matters because nobody knew where you were!" Dawn exclaimed, looking furious and slightly amused at the deep blush creeping over Buffy's cheeks. "Next time just tell me you're going to spend the night with Faith. I hate worrying about you."

"You're the little sister, Dawnie. You shouldn't be worrying about me. It should be the other way around."

"If you two will stop bickering for one moment, I believe we have some information pertinent to Julie's plans that you and Faith will need to know," Giles said as he looked at Buffy then over at Faith. "It seems that this Hellmouth isn't quite like any other Hellmouth in the world."

"There's a portal that leads to a world between worlds," Buffy sighed. "We already know this."

"It's not quite that simple, Buffy. If you two are anywhere near the seal if—or when—Julie manages to open it, you will be sucked into the portal—"

"Again with the things we already know," Buffy said as she rolled her eyes. "Anything else, Giles? Anything you know that Angel didn't tell us last night?"

"Er, there is in fact," he replied as he closed the book that he had open in front of him. "There is a reason it has to be you that stops her, Faith. Because you carry the Slayer line, your essence is stronger. Julie can feel this and despite her...nature, she feels as if she can connect with you on some level. She likely won't fight you because of this and this will create a better opportunity for you to take her out."

"So," Faith said as she hoisted herself up onto the counter and reached for a banana out of the fruit bowl, "what's the plan then? I'm tired of sitting around waiting for her to make a move."

"Tonight you will locate her and attempt to ascertain what her plans may be."

"And how am I supposed to do that?"

"Oh!" Willow said as she looked over at Faith. "Her friends, her...minions or whatever, they'll be at Henry's again. She'll find them."

"How do you know this, Will?" Buffy asked. "Oh right, you were—or are?—kind of friends with her…"

"Before Angel told us about her, she confided in me about Vera. I'm kind of thinking that it's not just Julie we have to worry about."

"So Vera's a threat too? Just fuckin' great," Faith muttered as she slowly peeled the banana and took a bite. "What is she, some kinda witch too?"

"No, not exactly," Willow said as she looked around at everyone in the kitchen. "She is protected by the immortality spell, though, and then there's the fact that she's a vampire too, a very strong one. Whatever kind of spells Julie has done has made them—"

"Like the uber vamps?" Andrew asked excitedly. "We've faced them before. We can take her out, right?"

"No, not like the uber vamps, but strength wise, yeah," Willow nodded. "There is one thing. If Julie and the others find out what we're up to and that we really have a plan to stop them—"

"What fucking plan?" Faith asked as she hopped off the counter. "We have no fucking plan. We may have some information, but sure as hell no fucking plan that's gonna work!"

Buffy got up from her chair and walked over to Faith. She placed her hands on her shoulders and gave them a gentle squeeze. "Calm down," she whispered, ignoring the stares they were getting from everyone. "We'll have a plan soon, Faith."

"I'm calm," she replied, slowly feeling the aura of calmness just through Buffy's touch. She still wasn't quite used to feeling what Buffy felt, these effects that were brought on by the barrier spell.

"Let's just sit down and figure out what we're going to do, okay?"

Faith nodded as Buffy leaned in and planted a light kiss on her lips, both of them smiling a little before they pulled apart. She ate the rest of her banana, watching Buffy as she walked back to the table and sat back down in her chair. She could still feel the sense of calm and it made her wonder how Buffy could be so calm when they didn't have a damn clue what they were going to do.

Giles and Willow went through the piles of books laid out on the table while they all discussed ways to take Julie out without her friends getting in the way. Buffy and Kennedy were going to go after Vera, Nick, and James while Faith made sure Julie didn't get close to opening the Hellmouth. She didn't like the plan, but it was all they had so far. The more they talked and planned things out, the more anxious Faith was starting to feel. She just wanted to take Julie out long before she even had the chance to get close to the Hellmouth and open the seal. She had no chance in hell of taking her out, though, not with the Gem of Amara and the immortality spell that rendered Julie invincible.

Faith was hit by an unknown invisible wall and her gut instinct told her to find Julie now. She headed for the front door with Buffy and Kennedy hot on her heels, stopping to open the panel in the back of the front hallway closet and begin pulling out every weapon they had.

"Faith...what are you doing?" Buffy asked as she started packing the weapons into one of the duffel bags. "Faith?"

"Gotta find her," Faith said quickly as she pulled the last axe out of the closet and shoved it into the bag. "Don't ask me how or why, just got his feeling we gotta find her now."

"Faith, stop," Buffy sighed as she stopped her from walking out the front door. "This is not a plan!"

"This is all we got, Buffy. We do this now or we risk everything. We risk having a once powerful witch opening the Hellmouth, taking back her soul from the world between worlds. We risk unleashing Hell on earth and I haven't gotten this far in life to lose everything now."

"Faith," Kennedy said as she reached out and grabbed onto the strap of the duffel bag. "I'm with you all the way. If you think we can do this now, then we're going now."

"We don't even have a plan!" Buffy said as she followed the two of them out the front door. "Stop, Faith! Just stop and think for a minute here. What are we going to do when we find Julie?"

"There is no _we_, Buffy. I have to take her out myself. It's the only way."

"No, it's not the only way."

"It's how it has to be," Faith said firmly. "You and I both know that, B. It's gotta be me. Why? Who the fuck knows, really. But if Giles tells me it's gotta be me then it damn well _is_ gonna be me who takes the bitch out."

She started walking, heading down the front path towards the street. Buffy didn't try to stop her this time, instead simply joining Kennedy as they both followed her. She led the way to the deserted neighbourhood surrounding the Hellmouth without saying a word and without even looking back at Buffy and Kennedy. She stopped when she reached the store where the Hellmouth resided below. The buzz filled her, drove her on, but she stopped and turned to Buffy slowly.

"Stay out here."

"Faith—"

"Just stay out here," she snapped as she dropped the bag to the ground and pulled out the axe. "Julie is there. I can feel it."

"Faith, just stop. You are not going in there alone," Buffy said as she grabbed onto Faith's arms. "I cannot let you go in there alone."

"Buffy, it's gotta be this way."

"No," she said as she shook her head. "It doesn't have to be this way. What happens if she hurts you or kills you, Faith?"

"She won't."

"I'll stay out here, keep an eye on things," Kennedy said as she pulled out the second axe from inside the bag. "Faith, just be careful, okay?"

Faith nodded as she pulled away from Buffy and headed around to the back door of the old boarded up store. She kicked open the back door and headed straight for the stairs, noticing right away that there was a makeshift ladder leading down where the stairs had fallen apart before. Buffy was right behind her and she let out a soft sigh as she turned to her.

"I'm not letting you do this alone," she whispered as she pulled her by her shirt away from the basement door. "After last night, I _can't_ let you do this alone. I'm not losing you now, Faith."

Faith frowned as she pulled Buffy closer to her and laid a gentle kiss upon her lips. "You ain't gonna lose me, B."

"Why does it feel like I will?"

"You ain't gonna lose me, Buffy," she said again, knowing no matter how many times she said it, it just wouldn't sink in.

Faith wondered why she feared it so much, why she feared she'd lose her. It was love talking and with love came that fear no matter what the situation was. She wanted to tell Buffy how she felt, that she was falling in love with her—or that she'd already fallen in love with her and was still falling hard and fast. Instead of saying the words, she just stared deeply into Buffy's eyes, trying to convey her emotions through a simple look.

Before their lips could meet in what Faith feared would be their last kiss, they heard the sounds of chanting coming from the basement. Buffy stopped her from pulling away and kissed her hard and whispered words of love she could barely hear over the rapid beating of her heart. She smiled, giving her one last kiss, never wanting to stop, before they both climbed down the ladder and landed on their feet.

Vera and Julie, along with Laura and Henry, stood in a circle around the seal. They hadn't been noticed just yet and Faith motioned for Buffy to take the left. She wasn't informed too well on the spell, or any spells in particular, but she was pretty sure they'd just begun. Julie put up her hands, stopping the others from chanting as she turned to look at Faith.

"Well, well," she chuckled as she walked over towards her slowly. "Look who decided to crash the party. How did you know the party had already started?"

"Gut instinct," Faith shrugged, gripping the axe tightly in one hand. "Plus y'know, shared essence or whatever."

"Right," Julie sighed as she shook her head. "I almost forgot about that. Is that why you came back for seconds, Faithy?"

Faith flinched at her words, looking over at Buffy as she flanked around the left, approaching Vera cautiously as if she was waiting for Vera to make the first move. Buffy barely moved, barely looked over at Faith and Julie. She could feel her palms begin to sweat as Julie got dangerously close to her.

"You can't stop me," she whispered as she leaned in to Faith. "You know that you can't stop me."

"Sure I can—and I will."

"You're too late, Faithy. We've already begun. The barrier spell has been broken. All that's left is opening the seal. It's a pity—we need a few drops of blood to open it and it seems none of ours works. Looks like it's going to have to be yours or hers."

Faith watched out of the corner of her eye as Buffy and Vera began to fight while Henry and Laura continued chanting in a foreign language. She was ready for the fight of her life and once the seal was open she knew she'd have the chance to take Julie out. It was nothing more than a waiting game now. It was all just a game. Life was a game and Julie was going to take her life in her hands if she let her guard down for just one second. As soon as she saw Buffy being flung across the dark basement, she sprung into action, swinging the axe at Julie as the ground began to shake beneath their feet.

"Too late, Faithy. It's begun," Julie laughed as she swung at Faith, knocking her unconscious and sending her into a world of silence and darkness with just one single blow to the side of her head.


	21. Chapter 21

Faith wasn't sure how long she'd been knocked out for, but the pain was excruciating when she managed to open her eyes. Her addled senses could vaguely make out Buffy fighting Vera—since Julie hadn't jumped in she figured it had only been a few moments. Before she could even try to shake off her disorientation and clear her head, Julie walked over to her and grabbed her by the hair, pulling her to her feet.

"What's the matter, Faithy? One blow and you KO on me? Aren't you supposed to be a Slayer?"

"Fuck you," she said through clenched teeth, ignoring the pain as best she could as Julie let go of her.

The ground still shook beneath their feet and she blinked away the tears that stung at her eyes, struggling to see just what was going on. Laura and Henry were still chanting softly, the ground shaking in time to every word they spoke. She still gripped the axe tightly in her left hand, but with the ground shaking and her head spinning, she couldn't quite get it together. Julie circled her, chuckling softly as she looked her up and down.

"Looking a little worse for the wear there, Faithy. Pity. We've barely even gotten started here. You are still too late, unfortunately. In a few minutes, dear mother and father are going to have the seal open."

"Faith!" Buffy groaned out as Vera sent her flying across the basement and into a stack of wooden boxes.

Anger overtook pain and exhaustion, adrenaline finally cleared her muddled head, and she lunged for Julie. The axe was knocked from her grip as Julie kicked it away and threw a hard right hook that sent her flying backwards and into the hard concrete wall. She reached for the knife strapped to her leg and unsheathed it quickly as Julie lunged for her. She took a swipe at her, both their eyes going wide when the skin on Julie's shoulder was sliced open.

"Now, Faith!" Buffy yelled out as Vera pulled her out of the pile of broken wooden boxes. "You have to do it now!"

Faith groaned as she tried to grab her axe, knowing the knife was nearly useless in this fight. Julie was taken aback, clutching at the wound on her shoulder as she shouted at Henry in a foreign language. She went after Julie again, using every bit of strength she had left. She could just feel Julie getting weaker with every blow but she couldn't stop trying to look over at Buffy and Vera as they both struggled to get the upper hand. She knew should be concentrating solely on Julie—after all, Buffy had proven many times that she could handle herself, but this wasn't their normal everyday type of situation.

The ground stopped shaking for a few moments and it gave her half a second to throw Julie to the ground. She ignored the leer Julie gave her as she straddled her, grappling with her and finally pinning her hands to the floor above her head.

"Fancy another go, Faithy?"

"You're dust, bitch."

"You wish. You seem to forget that the Gem of Amara protects me."

Faith captured her wrists with a single hand and then jammed her finger into the wound in her shoulder, causing Julie to let out an anguished scream. "Oh yeah? Looks like it doesn't work anymore," Faith chuckled as she twisted her finger again, causing Julie to let out another scream.

"You bitch! What did you do?"

"Nothing," Faith replied as she pulled her stake out of her back pocket and pressed it against Julie's chest, not quite ramming it in just yet. "Seems like this spell you guys did that took down the barrier made everything—what's the term I'm looking for here?—fuck up. And now you're fucked."

"Not as fucked as you two are going to be," Julie said through the wicked laughter that came out of her mouth and just wouldn't stop.

With a sudden burst of strength, she shoved Faith off of her and they were both on their feet in seconds. Henry and Laura were chanting louder now and the ground began to shake more violently. Faith gripped the stake in her hand as she threw a hard punch at Julie just in time to see Buffy use her axe to sever Vera's head.

"Oh hell no," Julie screamed as she ran towards Buffy, pure anger flashing in her eyes, anger so strong even Faith could feel it just at the edges of her soul. "I'm going to fucking kill you, you bitch!"

"Faith, we need help," Buffy shouted at her as she ducked out of Julie's way. "Faith!"

Faith didn't listen to her as she strode over to Julie, grabbed her by her wounded shoulder, and shoved her back. "This is between you and me, Julie."

"Then what are you waiting for?" Julie asked, laughing as Faith took a swing at her. "Kill me! Isn't that what you're supposed to be doing right now?"

"Buffy, we need Willow here now. She's the only one who can close the seal."

"But—"

"Get her here now, B! I'm gonna finish this bitch off and when I'm done, those two are next."

Buffy scrambled up the ladder, leaving Faith down there alone. She was guessing there was less than a minute left before Julie was invincible once again, but she didn't worry for one second that Faith couldn't take Julie out. She was weak and growing weaker by the second, the clock was ticking as Henry and Laura continued chanting.

"What...are...you...waiting...for?" Julie grunted between the hard blows Faith threw at her. "Kill me!"

Faith was caught by her fist square in the jaw and she spit out the blood as the anger flowed more freely through her. It was like a drug and it gave her a rush like no other. She knew now wasn't the time to try to suppress that anger and try to keep that darkness inside of her away. She could use it to her advantage and she knew she had to do it now.

They fought for those last precious seconds, trading blow for blow until Faith finally had her pinned to the ground. Julie blew her a kiss before Faith rammed the stake through her heart and watched as she crumpled into a pile of dust beneath her.

"Juliet!" Laura screamed, breaking out of the trance she and Henry were in. "What did you do? What did you do?!"

Faith glared at her, watching as Henry struggled to hold her back as Laura pulled out a dagger from the bag near her feet. She wiped the blood from her split lip and bent down casually to pick up her axe from the floor. Over and over in her head she had to remind herself that Henry and Laura, as human as they seemed to be, weren't. For a witch and an immortal, Laura was quick, but Faith was quicker.

"You think you and your family would have figured out by now that we're just _that_ much ahead of the game here," Faith chuckled as she swung the axe at Laura and instead of blood, she vanished into a pile of dust. "Are you kidding me? Aren't vampires supposed to be the only ones to turn to dust?"

"All joking aside, Slayer," Henry growled as he took a few steps towards her. "You think Juliet was the only one in our family who had a piece of the Gem? I'm assuming that little tidbit of information never reached you."

Henry proved at that moment to be much quicker than Faith expected him to be and he grabbed her axe and placed the handle over her throat as he shoved her up against the wall. He was stronger than she expected him to be too and she struggled to breathe as she tried to push him off of her.

"All my Juliet wanted was her soul back, we all did. We were going to close the Hellmouth as soon as we got what we've been striving to get for years now. Funny," he chuckled as he pressed a little harder, "it was the witch who found the spell."

"Willow?" Faith choked out as she held onto the handle of the axe and tried to shove Henry away from her again to no avail.

"Yes, _Willow_. Too bad you'll be too dead to thank her for us."

"Funny, I thought you were supposed to be the good guy."

"Me?" Henry laughed coldly. "Afraid not, Slayer. It's such a pity those _gut_ instincts of yours have been dead wrong, isn't it? Oh yes, I do believe you also thought at first that Sam was the bad guy, and you were oh so wrong about that, weren't you? Well, mostly wrong—he's not exactly a _good_ guy either. Always looking to make a quick buck, but he pays his pawns well."

Faith felt her lungs just bursting for air and the excruciating pain in her head from where Julie had hit her before wasn't helping her stay too conscious. She closed her eyes, willing away the pain enough to gather the energy she knew she possessed to get Henry off of her. She sighed out in relief when she heard Buffy come back down the ladder and opened her eyes in time to see the other Slayer force Henry away from her. Giving up on fighting them, he instead scrambled away toward the seal.

"He's a—"

"Faith," Buffy said shakily as she held her up against the wall to keep her from falling to the floor.

"He's a vampire," she whispered as she brought her hands up to her throat. "Just a few seconds left, B."

The seal began to open as Henry knelt near it, now completely ignoring them as he chanted quickly and loudly, determined to finish what he had started. Buffy let go of Faith and ran for him. Within seconds a hard swing of her axe decapitated him and he crumbled to dust as Faith slid down the wall to the floor, clutching her neck and struggling to breathe.

"Faith, baby?" Buffy whispered as she knelt down next to her and gently cupped her face, turning her so Faith would look at her. "How bad are you hurt?"

"Head hurts like a bitch," she chuckled softly, trying to force a smile to reassure her she'd be okay. "Where's Willow?"

"She's coming. She'll be here real soon. Kennedy took out the other two vamps outside."

"Brats got some wicked skills after all."

"It's open?" Buffy whispered as she looked over at the seal as the ground stopped shaking and the seal opened up completely. "Oh god, we've got to get out of here, Faith."

"B, just—give me a minute here."

"Guys?" Willow called out as she approached the basement doorway.

"It's safe, Will! Buffy replied the muttered under her breath, "as safe as it can be considering there's a doorway open to Hell."

Buffy checked the gash on the side of Faith's head and it wasn't until she moved away the hair that Faith really felt the pain. Whatever Julie had hit her with had been more than just a fist. Faith could feel the warm blood trickling down her scalp now and Buffy pressed the palm of her hand against the gash to try to stop the bleeding.

"Fuck that hurts."

"It doesn't look too deep," Buffy said as she moved to sit down next to her. "We need to get out of here now, Faith."

"What about Willow?" She asked as she looked over at Willow climbing down the ladder. "Can't be too safe for her to be here alone."

"I can handle myself," Willow said as she walked over to them. "How badly are you hurt, Faith?"

"S'nothing," she shrugged as she pulled Buffy's hand away from the side of her head. "Just a little scrape."

"Can you close it?" Buffy asked Willow as she pulled out a spell book from her bag. "Will?"

"I can, I just need a little bit of time. Also? A little scared of what might come up outta there," she said as she pointed to the seal. "A little might be an understatement here."

Faith groaned softly as she reached up and placed her hand over the wound and watched as Willow tentatively approached the open seal. Buffy stayed right by Faith's side, checking her for any more injuries.

"B, I'm fine," she whispered as Buffy reached up and wiped away the blood that trickled from her split lip.

"As soon as I get you home..."

"You're gonna play nurse?" Faith asked, chuckling when Buffy just rolled her eyes. "Could get ya one of those sexy little outfits to go with the whole act too."

"Faith, stop," Buffy hissed as Willow looked over at the two of them and laughed quietly. "God, I can't believe you'd be thinking about that—wait, of _course_ you'd be thinking about that. How could I ever doubt that for a second?"

"Lots going on today," she shrugged as Buffy slipped her hand into Faith's. "Happens."

"Guys?" Willow said as she placed a few candles around the floor by the seal. "Can you save the talk for after I do this spell? You do want the Hellmouth closed as soon as possible, right?"

Buffy and Faith just nodded their heads slowly as Willow began to light each candle, chanting softly under her breath as she did so. Faith turned to look at Buffy and smiled as Buffy let out a soft sigh. For a minute there they seemed to forget all the dangers that were there as long as the Hellmouth was open and all they could focus on was each other. They forgot what could happen if Willow couldn't close it in time, if the portal got out of control and sucked the both of them in.

"Did you know that Henry was a vampire too?"

"No, but I should've," Faith replied quietly. "Instinct's been thrown off since we got here. Then again, my instinct's never been all that fuckin' good, I guess."

"Don't say that. We got here just in time because of you."

"Barely."

"Guys!" Willow snapped as she looked right over at them. "Quiet, please! Thank you."

"Bitchy witch," Faith muttered under her breath and Buffy stifled a giggle as she tried to help her to her feet.

"Are you going to be able to fight if anything comes out of there?"

"Yeah," Faith nodded as she bent down to pick up her stake and her axe. "Ready and waitin', B."

She grabbed on to Buffy as the ground began to shake again, a little less violently than it had before. Faith could hear the commotion of a fight above them and then the sound of a window shattering followed by Kennedy cursing loudly. She and Buffy both began to make their way over to the ladder, but before they could get there they were both suddenly sucked back by a force that knocked the wind out of them. Faith tried to grab onto something, but there was nothing but the dusty concrete floor.

"Willow, close it now!" Buffy shouted as they were both pulled into the seal and encased in complete darkness in seconds.

Faith reached out, dropping the axe and her stake as she grabbed onto nothing but air. She found it hard to breathe as they fell down into the darkness, the portal from what she could guess. She felt Buffy grab on to her and hold her close as the darkness opened up into bright orange light and they fell through the sky. Faith looked down, wondering if they were falling to their death, and all she saw was what looked like water below.

Any other things running through their minds suddenly took a back seat to simply surviving the fall. Buffy let go of her just before they hit the warm, muddy water. Faith surfaced quickly, sputtering as she tried to catch her breath and looked around for Buffy frantically, trying not to panic when she didn't see her.

"Buffy?" Faith yelled as she treaded the dirty water, looking around for Buffy as she also looked for any sign of land or even a boat around her.

She looked up to the sky, the once bright orange flow now just ever so faint. The air was sticky and hot, the smell of blood and fire filling her nostrils as she tried to take a deep breath. She saw Buffy surface about twenty feet away and she swam over towards her, every muscle in her body aching as she swam against the hard current. Buffy looked deathly afraid and it was the first time Faith had really seen that in her.

"B, you okay?"

"Been better," she coughed as she turned around a couple of times. "Where the hell are we?"

"That dimension...the world between worlds, maybe. Fuck if I know, B."

"We need to get out of here," Buffy said as they felt the current pulling at them. Buffy reached out for her, holding onto her hand so they wouldn't drift apart. "Something tells me this isn't just water."

"I don't see anything around here, B. We're pretty much fucked."

"We're not," she said, pulling Faith a little closer to her as they both treaded to keep their heads above the water. "The fight we just had, now that was fucked. You get the feeling it just went...too quickly? Why is it everything happens too fast to process it?"

"B? You're freakin' out. We'll be okay," Faith said, trembling a little and not entirely sure if she believed the words coming out of her own mouth.

She pulled her in for a quick kiss, breathing heavily as Buffy pushed her away. "Faith, how can we be okay? We don't even know where we are. We're stuck floating in this poor excuse for water with no land in sight. How the hell are we going to be okay?"

"We got each other," Faith whispered. "As long as we got each other, we'll be okay, won't we?"

"Did we switch personalities instead of bodies this time?" Buffy asked, laughing softly as she stared into Faith's eyes. "I've never seen you so calm before."

"I am far from fucking calm right now, B."

They said nothing more as they floated for what felt like hours, letting the current take them wherever it would take them. Faith tried not to think at all about anything, finding it too suffocating with the thoughts in her otherwise pounding head. After what seemed an eternity, she spotted the faintest outline of land ahead of them. She let out a sigh of relief, nudging Buffy and motioning for her to look ahead instead of up at the sky as she had been for the last while.

They began to swim for the shore, both all too eager to get out of the warm, pungent water that smelled more and more like dirt and blood with every minute that passed. Faith felt like crying with relief as they reached the rocky shore, even though her lungs were about to burst from the wave of heat that washed over them. Buffy laid on her back on the smooth rocks, practically sobbing as Faith crawled to lie next to her.

"God, it's fucking hot as Hell," Faith groaned as she sat up to look out over the water. "Think that's where we're at?"

"This isn't Hell."

"Can't be too sure about that, B."

"No, this isn't Hell. Believe me when I say that I know that this isn't Hell, but it's close."

"So, what are we, like…dead?"

"No," Buffy said as she reached out and pinched her leg. "If we were dead, it wouldn't have been like that."

"Right. You would know."

"We're not going to start fighting again, are we?" Buffy asked, rolling her eyes as she sat up next to Faith. "God, I really hate it when we fight, but its different now it's like we're actually a..."

Faith knew Buffy couldn't say it. Either that or she was trying to figure out the right words to say. Wherever they stood with their relationship should be the last thing on their minds, but it wasn't. It was front and center, demanding every ounce of attention it could grab on to. Everything would always come back to it being about the two of them and wherever their relationship stood at the time. No matter where they were, what kind of fucked up situation they found themselves in, it'd always end up the same way.

"Actually a what, B?"

"Uh...a couple?" Buffy offered, shrugging as Faith stared over at her.

"Right, cos we're together now," Faith smirked as she put her arm around Buffy's shoulders. "Feels kinda weird."

"Weird?"

"Y'know, you and me," Faith said softly. "Never thought it'd ever happen and now that it has, feels like I need to be pinched to make sure I'm not dreamin'."

"You want me to pinch you?" Buffy laughed as she shook her head before resting it against Faith's shoulder. "What are we going to do, Faith?"

"You can start by pinching me."

"No, I meant about being stuck here. What are we going to do? We can't stay here."

"'Less ya learn how to fly, B, we ain't gettin' back up there," Faith said as she pointed to the orange sky. "Oh—you meant from right here, didn't ya?"

"Can't be too safe out in the open when we don't even know what's out there."

Faith sighed as she looked around, knowing exactly what Buffy meant. They weren't safe there sitting out in the open. Who knew what could be out there lurking and just waiting for the right moment to attack. Neither of them had any weapons on them and Faith cursed under her breath for not holding onto her axe. It was too late to worry about that now, though, and she laid back on the rocks, pulling Buffy down with her and closing her eyes as the heat became nearly unbearable. Wherever they were, she had faith that Willow would get them out and bring them home. It was just a waiting game now.

****

Kennedy found Willow kneeling by the seal, sobbing uncontrollably and clawing at it, her fingers bleeding freely as a result of her frantic efforts. She pulled her up from the ground, trying to calm her down as she looked around the dank, dark basement.

"Where are Faith and Buffy?"

"Gone!" Willow cried. "They're gone!"

"Gone where, Will?"

"The portal, they...I couldn't close it fast enough and it pulled them in!"

"Shit," Kennedy muttered as she struggled to hold Willow up. "We got another problem, Will."

"What?"

"I've..." she groaned as Willow fell to the floor on her hands and knees. "Whatever just happened, I lost my strength, Will."

"You..."

"I don't think I'm a Slayer anymore."

Willow looked up at her with wide eyes and blinked away her tears as she got to her feet. "You...you aren't a Slayer? What?"

"When the ground stopped shaking I felt it. It felt like it just was sucked out of me. Hit me like an invisible wall."

"Oh goddess, this is not good," Willow whispered as Kennedy led her over to the ladder. "We need to tell Giles what happened and fix this. We need to get them back."

"We need to get out of here first," Kennedy said as she let Willow climb up the ladder first. "It's almost dark and I can't protect you like I should be able to."

Willow was sobbing uncontrollably the entire walk back to the house. Kennedy kept pulling her onwards to keep her from stopping for too long. The sun had completely set by the time they reached the front door and Willow collapsed to the floor as soon as they'd walked over the threshold. Kennedy left her there and ran to the kitchen, shaking uncontrollably as Giles looked up from reading the evening paper.

"We got a problem, Giles. A major problem."

"A problem?"

Kennedy sighed as she grabbed the paper from him, knowing he had no idea what had happened. For all he knew, they'd all just left the house. Nobody had told him what was going on and that they were going after Julie and her family to try to stop them from opening the Hellmouth.

"Buffy and Faith are gone."

"Gone?"

"Gone," she said firmly as she fought back her own tears. "They got sucked into the portal inside the Hellmouth. They are fucking gone, Giles! We need to get them back. Now."

"You went after them? Without informing me?"

"Faith just...she took off! We had no other choice but to follow her!"

"Where is Willow? Did she close the Hellmouth?" Giles asked as he stood up, visibly shaking as he tried to remain calm.

"She did. Giles," Kennedy sighed as she followed him out of the kitchen. "We got another big problem."

"Which is?"

"I lost my Slayer strength."

Giles stopped and turned to look at her, all the colour in his face draining as he took a few deep breaths. "I feared something like this would happen," he said after a moment. "Willow?"

"Oh goddess," Willow sobbed as she laid on the floor by the front door. "This is all my fault."

"This isn't your fault," Giles said softly as he knelt down next to her.

"It is! I was too slow in closing the Hellmouth and when I tried to open it again, nothing!"

Kennedy tried to help Willow to her feet, failing as she didn't have the strength to pull her dead weight up from the floor. She sat down next to her instead and pulled her into her lap, rocking back and forth slowly as she tried to calm her down. Dawn, Xander, and Andrew came down from upstairs, all three of them looking confused as they saw the scene unfolding before them. Giles immediately went to the living room, going through the hundreds of books that lined the shelves.

"What happened?" Dawn asked as she sat down next to Kennedy. "Why is Willow so upset?"

"Buffy and Faith are gone," Willow cried. "They're _gone_!"

"Gone?" Dawn said, shaking as the tears sprung to her eyes. "They're dead?"

"No," Kennedy said as she shook her head. "Not dead. Stuck."

"Stuck where?"

"The portal inside the Hellmouth pulled them in," Kennedy said softly as she stroked her fingers tenderly up and down Willow's back as her body shook violently with every choked sob that came out. "They fought Julie and the others, but the Hellmouth still got opened. I wasn't down there so I don't know exactly what happened, but..."

"Oh god," Dawn trembled as Xander pulled her to her feet and wrapped his arms around her. "No! They can't be gone! What are you all waiting for? Get them back!"

"We may not be able to," Giles said as he joined them back in the front hallway. "Willow, what spell did you use to close the Hellmouth?"

"The one we...talked about...before..."

"Oh lord," Giles said, shaking his head as he walked over to the stairs and sat down slowly. "Andrew, would you please fetch me the bottle of Scotch I keep on the shelf? I fear I'm going to need a drink."

"Giles, I used the wrong spell, didn't I?" Willow asked as she fought to keep the tears away. "I used the wrong spell."

"We didn't know," Kennedy whispered as she continued tenderly stroking her hands down her back, her sobs becoming less violent and frequent as she took in a few deep breaths. "Will, we'll fix this. We'll get them back. They'll be okay."

"We can't," Giles said under his breath as Andrew came back with the bottle of Scotch. "Since we last spoke of using that spell, I have done some more research. The barrier was a powerful one and I believe the energies released from its dissipation combined most unfortunately with the closure spell itself. What has occurred is a ripple effect, if you will, which has essentially undone all spells ever cast."

"So we just figure out a way to—"

"No, Willow. There is no way," Giles snapped at her as he twisted off the cap and took a couple swigs right from the bottle. "We have nothing. Absolutely nothing."

"How can you say that?" Dawn yelled as she tried to get out of Xander's tight hold. "Find something and bring them back home!"

Giles just shook his head as he took another swig from the bottle and exhaled loudly. Silence fell, broken only by the odd gasp coming from Willow or Dawn as they tried not to cry. Giles handed the bottle to Andrew as he got to his feet and headed straight for the phone in the kitchen.

"They're really gone, aren't they?" Willow sobbed as she buried her face into Kennedy's shirt. "It's all my fault, Kenny!"

"No, it's not your fault. You didn't have a choice. You couldn't close it any faster."

"I could've! They were...talking and...oh goddess," Willow sobbed as she pulled back from Kennedy and furiously wiped at her tears that continued to fall. "They'll be okay. They have to be. They'll be okay."

Kennedy held her close, not knowing what to say or do to calm her down. Dawn clutched onto Xander, crying just as hard as Willow was. Kennedy just looked at Xander, both of them with tears in their eyes and fear of not knowing what would end up happening if they couldn't bring Buffy and Faith back. Kennedy wasn't too concerned about the fact she'd lost her strength. She'd have plenty of time to worry about that after they all figured out how they were going to get Buffy and Faith back.

The night was long and spent with all of them trying to find another spell to open the Hellmouth just long enough to pull Buffy and Faith out of the portal that led to the world between worlds. It was a valley of lost souls and barely any human being had ever survived there. By the first rays of dawn, they'd only found out about the dimension Buffy and Faith were trapped in. No reversal spells to undo the spell Willow had cast to close the Hellmouth. There was no way for her to find a way to reverse the effects of the barrier spell that had stripped Kennedy of her strength—along with every Slayer activated by the spell Willow had cast on the scythe—and no way to find out how to bring back all the spells ever cast in the world for centuries.

Chaos on earth was inevitable, as Giles had put it. There were just too many spells cast, too many cloaks and barrier spells around the other Hellmouths all over the world. Who knew what the fallout with the rest would be like? He'd spent most of the night on the phone, contacting the few remaining members of the Council, trying desperately to find some answers. _Any_ answers seeing how no matter where they looked or how hard, they found nothing that would help them.

Kennedy helped Willow to bed and laid there next to her, finally allowing a torrent of tears to fall. Willow was still crying, a little less now, but the tears just never stopped. From the way everyone was acting, it was almost as if Buffy and Faith had died rather than being sucked into the portal and trapped in a dimension that wasn't quite earth and wasn't quite Hell. Kennedy couldn't—no, she _didn't_ want to imagine what it could be like for them there. From the books Giles had found on dimensions like the one they'd been sucked into, it came pretty close to the proverbial worst nightmare.

The world they were trapped in had much more in common with Hell than with their own reality. Kennedy felt an empty space in her heart, the space that had been filled by her friendship with Faith and by having Buffy around and a part of her life. The void was stronger, deeper in the others, but it didn't mean she didn't feel the loss also.

Even as she laid there, trying to fall asleep next to Willow, she could hear Dawn in her room crying as Xander tried to calm her down and assure her that no matter how bad it seemed right then, they'd find a way no matter how long it took. She could only faintly hear Giles on the phone, yelling at whomever he was talking to. He was as distraught as Willow, frantically searching for answers that just weren't there. Kennedy closed her eyes tightly, feeling the hot tears burning past her eyelids as Willow snuggled closer to her.

About an hour passed before Dawn knocked on the bedroom door, not saying a word as she and Xander crawled onto the bed with them. They just needed to be surrounded by their family in a time where they felt completely helpless, lost, and alone. Much like Buffy and Faith probably felt where they were. Kennedy had no doubt in her mind that they'd fix this, that they'd fix everything, and that they'd bring them back home where they belonged. They needed them now more than ever. Andrew stood in the doorway, looking uncertain as Kennedy lifted her head to look over at him. She flashed a small smile as she motioned for him to come into the room and he joined them on the bed. It was much too snug a fit, but none of them seemed to care.

They all fell asleep eventually, none of them paying attention to the wailing sirens that filled the air, the fires that burned blocks away, or the people who screamed at each other after every gunshot that rang louder and closer. Chaos had erupted, just as expected, but in the safe haven of Willow and Kennedy's bedroom, they felt as if nothing could touch them past the pain they felt over having lost Buffy and Faith.

And in the faintest moments between consciousness and sleep Kennedy saw flashes of Buffy and Faith, covered in blood she somehow knew wasn't their own, clinging to each other, trying to control their fear of being in a world so alien and hostile that not even a Slayer would be able to sleep soundly.

She wished she'd been down there with them, just for a single fleeting moment. She wanted to be there with them, suffering wherever they were suffering. She didn't want to go back to being just another normal, useless human being. She wanted the power and the strength to flow through her body once more. She wanted to save them even if she didn't know how. Family was everything and in the end, she and the others would do everything to save the ones they loved. Absolutely everything and anything.


	22. Chapter 22

Faith pulled Buffy along as they walked through the streets of a city long gone. Some of the buildings were still standing, but most were simply piles of rubble. She kept looking around and behind them, expecting something—anything—to pop out from the darkest shadows. They'd been walking for what felt like hours at the very least and with no way to tell how long had actually passed it might as well have been days. Buffy slowed down, tugging on Faith's hand until she let go.

"I can't walk any further, Faith."

"Gotta keep goin', B. Gotta find somewhere safe."

"Where?" Buffy asked, groaning as she walked over to the nearest building and leaned against the wall. "Where are we even going, Faith? We've been walking for so long and..."

Faith sighed as she stood in front of Buffy and gently tucked her now wild and slightly wavy hair behind her ears. "I don't know, B. Just know we gotta find somewhere safe. Kinda fuckin' worried about the whole water and food sitch too."

"We're going to die here, aren't we?"

"No," she said as she shook her head and brushed away the tears that had fallen from Buffy's eyes with her thumbs. "Not gonna die here, B. I'm not gonna let that happen. Now come on, we have to keep moving."

Buffy groaned as she pushed herself off the wall and they began to walk down the street littered with dirt, papers, and debris from the buildings that had fallen or burnt out. Faith could feel the beads of sweat rolling down her back, down her cleavage and down the back of her neck in time to each step that she took. She stopped briefly to rip the sleeves from her t-shirt and tucked the fabric in the back pocket of her jeans. It wasn't any kind of relief, but she wasn't about to walk around nearly naked when she had no idea just what was out there watching them.

She thought back to when they'd laid out on the rocks, their clothes and hair drying quickly in the heat. Buffy was scared and she didn't think she'd stopped trembling for more than a minute. They'd eventually left the beach, headed for the path that led through a patch of dead trees and to the edge of the forgotten and lost city.

They spotted the dead end in the street just ahead and Faith looked around for another way, grabbing onto Buffy's hand as she headed left.

"Faith, I really need to stop," Buffy sighed as she stopped walking and tried to take a few deep breaths. "God, it is way too hot here."

"Bet Hell is hotter," Faith muttered under her breath as she stopped walking, her eyes constantly darting around them, waiting for whatever it was she just _knew_ was following them, watching them. "How long do ya figure till Willow and Giles find a way to get us home?"

"I don't know."

"Come on," Faith said as she motioned for her to follow her to the only stable looking building they'd passed. "What do ya think? Should we check it out?"

"It looks like someone lives here," Buffy said as she looked at the entrance. Unlike the crumbled and neglected ruins that comprised the other buildings, this one looked like it was actually being maintained. "We should keep going."

"Nah," Faith said as she opened the door. "I'm checking it out. You comin' with, B?"

"Stop," Buffy whispered as she grabbed onto Faith's arm before she could walk inside. "Don't you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"Shh," she said as she placed a finger over Faith's lips. "Someone or something is in there."

"Prob'ly just a rat or somethin'," Faith shrugged as she walked inside the dark building.

From the looks of things it was a warehouse of some sort and the front room had apparently once been an office—a broken desk was prominent in the room with a heavy steel door behind that. Faith waited for Buffy to follow her inside before she closed the exterior door. Buffy looked around the small room before walking over to a filing cabinet that lay on its side. It was considerably cooler inside compared to outside, yet it was still hot and Faith could still feel the beads of sweat rolling down her back slowly.

"Faith," Buffy whispered as she knelt next to the filing cabinet and pulled out a picture from among the piles of paper. "We might not be in our world, but it looks like this used to be a part of our world."

"Huh," she said as she barely cast a look at the picture Buffy held in her hands. "I'm checkin' the rest of this place out. You gonna stay here?"

"No," Buffy replied. She allowed the picture to drop back on top of the papers and followed Faith over to the heavy steel door. "What if there's something on the other side?"

"Like what?"

"Oh, I don't know—a demon or something else hellish? We don't have any weapons."

"Got our fists and our strength and speed. Pretty sure we can fight whatever bad guy is hiding out there with our bare hands, B."

"We don't even know _what_ could be here, Faith. This isn't like it is in our world."

"No shit. I got eyes, Twinkie. It's pretty fuckin' obvious things aren't the same as they are in our world. For one thing," she sighed as she turned to face her, "have you noticed the total lack of sunlight or even a fucking _breeze_? It's like we're trapped in some kind of fucked up bubble or somethin'."

Not waiting for further objections, Faith slid open the heavy steel door and they both cautiously made their way into the nearly dark warehouse. At the far corner there was a single candle burning and they both stopped when they heard sounds of footsteps coming from the loft to their right. Faith held her breath as the figure of a woman came down the rickety stairs and approached them slowly. She could feel Buffy tense up next to her almost as if she was expecting the worst.

The woman was barely taller than Faith. Her clothes were well worn and even in the faintest of light she could see the bags under the woman's brown eyes and the grey that streaked her wildly unruly brown hair. The woman looked them up and down and clutched the long sword Faith finally noticed she had in her right hand.

"Who are you?" The woman asked, her voice hoarse as if she hadn't spoken for a long time. "What're you doing here? You are trespassing."

"I..." Buffy started to speak, already stumbling over her words as she looked over at Faith then back at the woman. "I'm Buffy. This is Faith."

"What are you?" The woman asked as she pulled out a silver lighter from her pocket and lit it, leaning towards them to get a better look at them. "Humans?"

"Slay—" Faith started, her words cutting off abruptly as Buffy nudged an elbow hard into her side. "Yeah, humans. What are you?"

"Human. I am Jacqueline, or I once was before I was sent here. How did _you_ get here? Magic?"

"Portal," Faith replied, "inside the Cleveland Hellmouth."

"Cleveland? Ah," she sighed as she turned and began to walk towards the candlelight, motioning for them to follow her. "It seems as if it moves. In all the years I've been here I've wondered just that."

Buffy and Faith just exchanged a look as they followed the woman across the empty floor and came to a stop by a metal table on which the candle rested. Faith wasn't sure how to feel about this woman. Something just faintly felt familiar about her and she was trying so hard not to listen to her gut instincts seeing how wrong she'd been before one too many times. She and Buffy stood side by side, watching as the woman pulled open a wooden trap door in the floor and disappeared down it.

"What the hell? Do you really think she's human?" Buffy whispered as she leaned into Faith a little.

"Looks like one, sounds like one, walks like one."

"So she must be one?"

"Guess so," Faith shrugged. "Then again you never know with some things that crawl around. Like vamps. If we weren't Slayers and didn't know how to pick 'em out of a crowd, we wouldn't fuckin' know they're vamps, right?"

"If she isn't human...then what?"

"Fight her?"

"What other choice would we have?"

"Dunno, B. She seems...nice."

"I don't know about nice, but—"

Buffy stopped when the woman came back up with a jug of what looked like water. She placed it on the table, walked to the metal shelves along the wall, and pulled off two glasses. She looked at the two of them and chuckled softly, a sound that was so eerily familiar to Faith that it made her shudder slightly. There was something about this woman—and she couldn't figure out just what—that made her feel more comfortable than she'd ever been around any other stranger.

"Please sit," she said as she motioned to the crates placed by the table. "It's warm today. I'm sure you two could use a glass of water or two. I don't have anything else. Gotta stock up when it rains and those times are few and far between."

"You live here?" Faith asked as she sat down on the longest crate and watched as Buffy walked over to sit down next to her.

"Unfortunately."

"How long ya been here for?"

"Not sure. It's hard to keep track of time here. There was a man here I met when I first came here. He'd been here for what he believed had been a very long time. He told me that time is different here. Sometimes it moves forward, sometimes it stands still, and there are times when it moves backwards."

"Are there any others?"

"None that I've come across. You two are the first I've seen in a long time," she smiled at them as she poured some water in each of the glasses. "I barely leave this place, even during the shifts."

"Shifts?" Buffy asked as she reached for the glass closest to her.

"The man, he wasn't really...human, but the soul of one. His name was Henry. He told me this place shifts from Hellmouth to Hellmouth over time. Everything I know about this world I've learned from him and from exploring. That is," she said, pausing as she pulled up the tattered hem of her skirt to reveal a very mangled right leg, "before the accident. I can't get around too easily."

"Jacqueline—"

"Jackie, call me Jackie," she said softly to Buffy as she placed the jug of water back down on the table.

"What are these shifts like?"

"Very violent. Most of the building change and others appear. This place, however," she said as she motioned around them, "has always stayed intact. When the sky turns from orange to purple, you must be prepared for what feels much stronger than the strongest earthquakes there are on earth—in your world. It's how the accident happened. I wasn't aware the shift was coming."

Faith grabbed her glass of water and brought it to her lips, nearly downing the entire glass as soon as the warm water hit her parched lips. Jackie and Buffy talked quietly with Jackie asking Buffy questions about the world she'd been forced out of. She was listening to them talk, but her thoughts were elsewhere as soon as Buffy placed her hand on her left thigh. It felt like electricity each time Buffy stroked her fingers idly and it made her feel more alive than she'd ever felt before. Buffy's touch had never quite been like that before—although there had always been a slight spark, their connection that reached out for one another, it was never so intense.

She could feel everything Buffy was feeling much stronger than she had before. It had been building over the last couple of days, becoming stronger without her realizing it. She'd gotten so used to feeling Buffy—to really feeling her—that she had hardly noticed where the line ended between her own feelings and Buffy's.

She closed her eyes, just for a moment, and she could almost see just the faintest bit of the others inside of the house, of Willow sobbing uncontrollably by the front door as Kennedy held her close. Buffy gave her leg a gentle squeeze and she opened her eyes, blinking away the sudden tears that sprang up seemingly out of nowhere.

"Are you tired?"

"Exhausted," Faith nodded.

"There is a mattress up in the loft," Jackie said as she pointed over towards it. "Or if you wish you two can take the one over there."

She pointed to a small closed off corner with a tattered sheet hanging over in the doorway. Buffy just grabbed onto Faith's hand, thanking Jackie for the water and for a safe place to sleep and pulled Faith towards the stairs that led up to the loft.

"You really tired, B, or were ya just tired of answerin' all her questions?" Faith whispered as they walked up the stairs together.

"A little of both," Buffy replied quietly as they made their way over towards the bare mattress by the boarded up window. "Who knew falling through a portal in a Hellmouth to a world like this would take so much out of you?"

"Spent a hella long time in that nasty-ass water and then what with all the walking…" Faith replied with a roll of her eyes as she sat down on the mattress and slipped off her boots. "I could really use a shower right about now too."

"Does it look like there's running water here?"

"No. And ya don't gotta be so fuckin' sarcastic, B."

"Look, I'm not exactly thrilled we're stuck here either."

Buffy sat down next to her, pulling off her boots slowly as she stared ahead in the darkness. Faith was about to move to the middle of the mattress when Buffy stopped her. Before Faith could take a breath, Buffy's lips were on hers. If Buffy's touch had been electrifying, a kiss was ten times as much. Faith's whole body was buzzing and she had to pull back from the kiss to catch her breath.

"Hate to say it," Faith whispered softly as she relished in the feel of Buffy's fingers over the back of her neck for a moment, "but I don't think we should..."

"What? I can't kiss you now?"

"It won't just be kissing, B. After the other night, I kiss you and I can't stop. Not really a fan of havin' an audience listenin' in either."

"We'll be quiet," Buffy whispered, pulling Faith with her as she laid back on the bed.

"B, you are kidding me, right? You couldn't be quiet if your life depended on it."

"Why do you have to be such an ass?"

"Far as I remember, you like my ass," Faith winked as she hovered over Buffy, their bodies barely touching. Even though it was far too warm to be too close, Faith just planted a light kiss on her lips and moved to lay down next to her. "Sometimes I think of how it is between us and I can't even remember what it felt like before."

"But that's a good thing, right?"

"I think—yes," she smiled as she ran her fingers over Buffy's stomach and reached for her hand. "You are really getting to me, B. Every second I'm with you I..."

"You what?"

Faith shrugged, not knowing where the sappy, sentimental side of her came from. It felt so weird to be able to easily convey her emotions to Buffy now. Weird because it was easy, like she'd always been able to let down her walls and just say the words she never knew how to say before—to anyone. She knew Buffy was going through the same thing with her. She knew Buffy well enough to know that being in love was hard for her. She didn't need to hear the words from Buffy; she could feel it and see it every time Buffy just looked at her now.

"Faith, talk to me," Buffy whispered. "Stop thinking and just talk to me."

"Every second I'm with you, I feel different. A good different. It used to scare me, y'know before everything went bad the last time, but I'm not lettin' it scare me this time."

"It's scary?"

"Buffy, it's not like that," Faith sighed as she let go of her hand and rolled onto her back. "It's how you make me _feel_ and that used to scare me cos I never thought I could feel that way 'bout someone else."

"Like how, Faith?"

"Ya really want me to say it, B? Ya want me to tell you that I'm fucking falling in love with you?"

"You—oh. You are?"

Faith chuckled softly as she watched Buffy blink a couple of times before she turned to look up at the ceiling. She felt more nervous with each second that ticked by as Buffy remained silent. She couldn't read what she was thinking, she had a mask over her emotions and it felt like she'd slammed a door shut on her. Buffy turned to look at her after a moment and breathed in slowly as she stared into her eyes.

"How long?"

"What?"

"How long have you been falling in...love with me? And you aren't just saying this because we're stuck here, are you?" Buffy asked, her lower lip trembling slightly as she spoke.

"No and I don't know how long it's been, B. Maybe since the day I first saw you. It's kinda hard to tell, honestly. All I know is those feelings started coming back once we got to Cleveland."

"So, you're in love with me?"

"Is that so hard to believe?"

"No," Buffy smiled as she leaned in to kiss her, stopping short just before their lips met. "I just never thought that we could...feel this way about each other. And I kind of think it's a little crazy we're lying here talking about it when we should be more worried about the fact that hello, we're stuck in a world between worlds with no way out unless Willow and Giles figure out how to get us home."

"Well, the way I look at it, we never do things the conventional way, do we?"

"No," Buffy laughed as she slid her arm around Faith and pulled her in closer. "And Faith?"

"Yeah, B?"

"I am too. Falling in love with you, I mean."

Faith's heart was beating too quickly now as she stared deeply into Buffy's eyes. She wished they were alone, back home and in her bed at the apartment. Her whole body ached to take Buffy, to rip her clothes off, to feel her body flush against her own. Her clothes were sticking to her and the heat was getting to her. The heat from Buffy's body pressed into her own was scorching.

"You are right, though," Buffy whispered as she trailed her hand down Faith's back and slipped it under her shirt, raking her nails over her skin. "It is a little scary. It always is in the beginning, but it's not like I'm some kind of expert on this kind of stuff."

"I'm not either. Don't really know anything at all, actually."

"It doesn't matter."

Faith smiled a little as she felt her eyelids growing heavy. The heat, the darkness, the fight they'd just been through—not to mention being sucked through the portal to end up here in the first place—was beginning to take a toll on her body. They shared one last, soft kiss before moving away from each other, it being much too hot to even simply hold each other as they slept. Faith just closed her eyes and focused on the sounds of Buffy's soft breaths as she fell asleep.

Several times while they slept they were awakened by slight rumblings and the sounds of Jackie mumbling to herself in her sleep. By the fourth rumbling, Buffy curled up against Faith's side, her fingertips tracing over her tattoo in random, soft patterns. Faith dozed on and off, finding it nearly impossible to fall into a deep sleep with the heat and the rumblings that seemed to get a little more intense and a few seconds longer each time. They both jumped off the mattress when Jackie ran up the stairs.

"The big one is coming. Come now, we'll go underground and wait for it to pass. As soon as the rain comes, it's over," she said quickly as she motioned for them to follow her. They slipped on their boots and followed the woman down to the trap door by the table where they climbed down the stairs into what looked to be a bomb shelter. "If the building shifts, we'll still be safe."

"Jackie, how often does this happen?" Buffy asked as she slipped her hand into Faith's in the darkness.

"There's enough time between the shifts to sleep almost five times," Jackie said as she lit a candle and sat down on the crate by the ladder. "That is if you try to sleep regularly. These shifts last for hours."

"So, we just stay down here and wait for it to stop?" Faith asked as she and Buffy sat down on the cot along the far wall. "Great."

"It isn't the ground that shakes but the air around you. We're safe down here," Jackie muttered as she picked up a piece of wood and a knife and slowly began carving into it.

Faith just moved back on the cot and leaned up against the wall. She tried not to let the hopelessness take her over, create that fear and despair she hated feeling. She relaxed when Buffy sat back next to her and leaned her head against her shoulder as she stifled a yawn. She couldn't be so close to Buffy without having to touch her, to slip her arm around her and just hold her. The more minutes that passed the more painful it became not to do just that.

"What about you two?" Jackie said as she stopped carving her knife. "Are you two...what's the word…" she paused as she thought for a moment, "lovers? Is that the right way to say it?"

"Lovers?" Buffy laughed, not moving an inch from Faith's side. "Does it matter?"

"I was curious. You two seem close and not just with this," Jackie laughed as she motioned to their position. "It's been a long time for me to know love and I can feel it coming off of both of you. It's powerful and it is deep."

Faith smiled a little as she closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the smooth steel wall. For her to hear a complete stranger say something like that to her, it gave her a warm feeling in her very soul since she knew deep down how true those words really were. She wondered how different things could have been if she'd just allowed herself to feel Buffy, not just Buffy herself, but her very soul. It could have changed her, stopped her from doing all the things she'd done she still regretted to that very moment.

Even as they'd gotten closer over the last few weeks, she didn't quite feel so...whole then. With everything that had happened with Julie and the others, it still hadn't stopped her from letting down the walls she'd built around her heart to let Buffy in.

"Where'd you come from?" Faith asked as she looked over at Jackie. "Originally?"

"Boston. I was—it was a long time ago. I can't really remember too much."

"There's a Hellmouth there?"

"No, I was...running away. Running from my life. That much I can remember," she replied quietly. "I choose to accept the voids so I do not remember that part of my life. Sometimes I see being sent here as a blessing rather than a curse."

"This ain't a blessing," Faith said as she let out a sharp laugh. "Lady, you got things wrong. This isn't reality. This is close to Hell, maybe even some form of it. Have ya looked outside lately?"

"It isn't Hell," Jackie said calmly. "The environment here is like this because of the shifts. It is what I've been told."

"By Henry's soul?" Faith scoffed and she turned to look over at Buffy. "Ya think this could be the same Henry we knew?"

"It's possible," Buffy shrugged. "I mean they were opening the Hellmouth to get Julie's soul back from...here I guess."

Faith just wanted answers, figuring knowing the answers could make being stuck there a little easier to deal with if she knew. She knew that spending god knows how many years in a place like this had affected Jackie. It was apparent in the way she spoke, the way her eyes shifted warily around the room. There was fear in the woman's eyes and Faith knew that she'd seen things here nobody should ever see.

"You two do not trust me, do you?" Jackie asked as she shook her head and continued carving the piece of wood she held firmly in her hand. "When the shift stops, I will show you something that will make you see this place differently."

"How are you going to do that?" Faith asked as Buffy moved off the cot and began to pace the floor slowly as if she was thinking too hard and was trying to figure things out for herself.

"When the shift stops, the souls that have been trapped are shaken free. It's only for a little while, but it is only then will you see what this place is. We'll be safe inside and when the rain that starts just after the shift stops, the cycle continues all over again."

"Oh god," Buffy sighed as she sat back down on the edge of the cot. "We're definitely in Hell."

"Yeah," Faith nodded as she kept her eyes on Jackie who seemed to be ignoring them as she focused on the knife, carving into the wood over and over again.

However long they'd have to stay down there, Faith knew the hours would drag on and on. She just leaned her head back up against the wall and closed her eyes, hoping she'd be able to get a little more sleep. She had to ignore the hunger pangs in her stomach too as Buffy moved back to sit next to her and laid her head on her shoulder. When she slept she could forget all the things that had happened. She never wanted to fall into a peaceful sleep more than she did right then and no matter how hard she did try, the rumblings always woke her before she could.

Somehow she ended up lying down on the cot with Buffy curled up against her side and she opened her eyes to see nothing but darkness. She could hear the soft snores coming from where Jackie was and she let out a soft sigh as she wrapped an arm around Buffy, feeling her smile against her shoulder as she moved closer to her. Buffy leaned in to her and placed a soft kiss on her neck before she moved back down and returned her head to Faith's shoulder. It was little things like holding Buffy that made this whole situation bearable. If she had been there on her own, she wasn't sure how she'd be able to get through each minute without completely losing her mind.

She knew she had to touch Buffy, to hold her, to stay calm and to feel strong despite the apparent fear Buffy was trying to fight inside of her. Buffy was holding that line between their world and this one close to her and if that's what it took, she was never letting go of her if she could help it.

"It's over," Jackie whispered as she lit the candle, waking Faith and Buffy from a light sleep. "It was a quick one this time. It's all over."

"That was a quick one?" Buffy whispered to Faith as they waited for Jackie to climb up the ladder first. "Felt like days."

"I know," Faith nodded. She gave Buffy a small smile as she picked up the candle and watched as the blonde climbed up the ladder slowly. By the time she got up, she noticed how much it'd cooled off from before. "Where'd she go?"

"Outside," Buffy said as she motioned to the small door not too far from them. "It's raining."

Faith placed the candle on the table and grabbed Buffy's hand as she headed for the door. They both came to a stop as they reached the door and saw Jackie scrambling around with buckets to collect the rainwater.

"If you girls want to clean off, you gotta come out here," Jackie called out to them, laughing as she threw her head back and looked up at the sky. "Give me a minute to get washed up then I'll leave you girls to have a little bit of privacy."

Buffy raised an eyebrow as she and Faith looked at each other and backed up inside. "Weird."

"What?" Faith asked as she wrapped her arms around her and smiled. "It's weird cos the woman wants to get clean? Not like there's any running water here to have a nice hot shower."

"Weird because I didn't need to see her almost strip out of her clothes," Buffy replied and it caused Faith to laugh as she backed away from her and pulled her shirt over her head. "What are you doing?"

"I ain't goin' out there in clothes, B. Need to get that nasty feeling off my skin. How else ya expect me to do it?"

The rain was coming down harder now and they both looked away as Jackie ran inside with her wet clothes balled up in her hands. She disappeared inside the small room and Faith got out of the rest of her clothes, waiting for Buffy to follow suit before she pulled her outside with her into the warm and heavy rain. It felt like hours they were out there, trying to get clean, but with nothing but the rain falling, it was hard to get as clean as they both wanted to be.

"I swear when we get home I'm going to spend the entire day in the shower," Buffy muttered as she shivered slightly under Faith's roaming eyes. "A very hot shower," she added as she ran her hands up and down her own arms.

"Right there with ya on that one, B."

They could hear Jackie moving around inside, humming to herself. Faith blinked away the raindrops that fell down her face as she approached Buffy slowly and wrapped her arms around her.

"What are you doing?"

"You're cold?"

"A little."

"Then I'm just tryin' to warm ya up, B," she smirked as Buffy pushed her away. "What? It isn't like she's watching."

"It's not that I..." Buffy trailed off as she shook her head and ran her fingers through her tangled wet hair. "Just forget about it. Let's just get dried off and dressed and see if she has any food."

Faith led the way back inside, picking up their clothes and handing Buffy hers. They dressed quickly out of view from Jackie and joined her by the table where she was making what looked like soup on the small fire she'd built in the hole in the ground.

"Feel any better?" She asked as she looked over at Buffy and Faith. "It's not much, but it does the job," she said when they didn't answer. "The soup?"

"Oh, right," Buffy laughed nervously as she sat down next to Faith on the long crate. "What kind is it?"

"Potato. I have a garden on the roof and unfortunately it is the only thing that grows. It was there when I found this place."

Buffy pulled a face as she looked over at Faith, but they both knew they had no other choice. It was either that or starve. Faith would eat just about anything to keep herself from starving but she knew Buffy wasn't used to having to resort to 'anything' when it came to food. She'd gone through a lot of rough times in her life and she was beginning to look at the situation as one of those 'do all you can do to survive' things. She just gave Buffy a smile as she took the offered bowl from Jackie.

"Just eat it, B."

"It's not so bad if you don't think about it," Jackie said softly as she handed Buffy a bowl. "It'll keep you from starving to death unless you wish to die that way."

Buffy groaned as she took a sniff and pulled another face. Faith just shrugged as she lifted the bowl to her lips and took a sip. Jackie walked around to the other side of the table, humming under her breath as she sat down on the other crate and began sipping the soup from her own bowl. Faith finished hers first, belching loudly as she leaned back a little and placed her hands over her stomach. She smiled a silent thank you to Jackie and watched as Buffy forced herself to finish off hers.

The three of them said nothing even after Jackie got up and headed into the small room off to the side. She still hummed under her breath, breaking through the silence in the vast space. The sound of the thunderous rain had slowed down in the last while and Faith just sat there, shaking slightly, needing a cigarette so badly she felt as if she was going to puke. Buffy reached out for her and after Faith flinched and calmed down, she began to rub her shoulders and work on releasing some of the tension that seemed to settle at the nape of her neck.

"You okay?"

"It'll pass," Faith said under her breath as she turned to look at Buffy. "Prob'ly woulda never started smoking in the first place if I knew the withdrawals were gonna be this fuckin' bad."

"When we get home, you aren't going to start again. Look at it this way; you got a chance to quit since you really don't have any other choice."

"B? I'm more stressed thinkin' about just surviving here than findin' a cigarette or even thinking about quitting."

Buffy sighed as she moved to sit directly behind Faith, wrapping her arms around the brunette as she rested her chin against her shoulder. "We'll be okay, right? No matter what happens here, we'll be okay?"

"Yeah. Hope so."

"Things could be worse," Buffy whispered as she placed a light kiss just below her ear. "Things could be a lot worse than it is now."

Faith knew she was right. They could have been sucked into a Hell dimension instead of being stuck in a world between worlds. Maybe Jackie had been right about looking at this place as a blessing instead of a curse. They still didn't know what this world was really like and what kind of creatures and monsters roamed about here. A part of her wanted to find out, but a bigger part of her just wanted to stay holed up there in the warehouse with Buffy at her side and with a crazy lady who'd been trapped in that world for god knows how long now.

Things definitely could be a lot worse. Faith knew that and she tried not to think of just how much worse things could possibly get from there on out.


	23. Chapter 23

**Author's Notes: hopefully everyone is still enjoying reading this...almost halfway through the story now...**

* * *

A week had passed since Buffy and Faith had been sucked into the portal inside the Hellmouth. Giles and Willow were frantically trying to find a way to reopen the seal and pull them out of the world between worlds and each day was the same story as they came up empty handed. Giles had spent hours on the phone trying to track down a few men in the Council who had been training some of the other Slayers. Three of the girls—those who'd shown the most promise before they were stripped of their strength and power—were due to arrive in Cleveland today.

Nobody had said much to one another in the last week unless it was related to research, food, or the Slayers that were on their way. Kennedy kept to herself mostly, spending hours during the day working out in the basement just to avoid everyone, even Willow. She'd been inconsolable since that night she closed the Hellmouth, always blaming herself no matter what Kennedy—or the others, for that matter— tried to do. She blamed herself for not closing the Hellmouth in time and she blamed herself for using the wrong spell.

"Hey," Dawn said to Kennedy as she walked down the basement stairs and sat down on the last step. "Where've you been all day? Down here?"

"Yep."

"Do you mind if I hang here for a little while? I really don't want to be up there right now. Willow is freaking again because Giles keeps going back to that one book. You know the one?"

"The one with the spell to reopen the Hellmouth that didn't work when she tried it the other day?"

"Yeah."

"Maybe she's doing it wrong?" Kennedy shrugged as she stopped hitting the bag and went to sit down next to Dawn. "We're all upset right now and Will told me before that it isn't a good idea for her to do spells when she's upset. They never work."

"I'm worried about them," Dawn whispered as she fought back her tears. "About Buffy and Faith. The more we learn about the dimension they're stuck in, the more I worry about them."

"They'll be okay, Dawn. They got each other there. They'll be okay."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Just a feeling," Kennedy replied as she put her arm around Dawn's shoulder. "Will is still trying to figure out how to make us all Slayers again."

"Well she better figure it out real soon!"

Kennedy just knew how impossible it'd be to talk some sense and calm into Dawn. She was a wreck, just as they all were, but she was the only one pointing the finger at Willow when it came to blaming someone for this mess. No matter how much Kennedy and the others tried to convince her that Julie and her family were solely at fault, Dawn had to blame _someone_, and Willow was bearing the brunt.

"Dawnie, everyone is upset right now and everyone wants to get Buffy and Faith back like yesterday, but it's not going to happen at the snap of your fingers," Kennedy said to her softly as she reached over and wiped away her tears. "It'll be okay again, I promise."

"When? When will it be okay again?"

"I don't know."

"Kenny?" Willow called up from the top of the stairs. "Is Dawnie down there with you?"

"Yeah, she is," Kennedy called back. "Come on, let's go up and see if they'd found anything—and try not to get so fucking upset if they haven't, okay?"

Dawn just shrugged as they headed up the stairs and walked into the living room where the others were all sitting around. They were once again in full research mode and the TV was on with the volume low. Kennedy went to sit next to Willow on the couch, where she leaned in to give her a soft kiss and smiled at her when she just let out a soft sigh and allowed a few tears to fall.

"We still haven't found anything," she whispered as she quickly wiped away her tears before Dawn could see that she was crying yet again. "The girls that are arriving today are bringing some books with them that we don't have. They might be able to help give us a lead on how to reopen the Hellmouth long enough to pull Buffy and Faith out."

"We'll find something," Kennedy whispered, leaning in to steal yet another kiss. "I got faith in you, baby. We'll find a way. We'll bring them home."

"I hope so. I would never be able to forgive myself if I couldn't find a way to get them out of there. I can't even imagine what it is like there for them. From everything we've found out about that...place, it's close to being just another Hell dimension."

"They'll survive it. You said yourself that there have been humans banished there and they've survived."

"But they've never survived actually being pulled out of there. The energy that was used to get them out was too much, too powerful. Nobody was ever strong enough to make it."

"Buffy and Faith are Slayers. They are going to be strong enough to make it," Kennedy whispered as she reached for one of the leather bound books sitting on the coffee table in front of her.

"They will," Xander said as he sat down on the other side of Willow. "They'll make it. I got faith in you, Will. I know you'll be able to bring them home."

Willow tried to smile, but the tears kept on falling. Everyone fell into complete silence as they watched the reporter on the TV talk about another series of brutal killings. They all knew it was due to the vampires, whose population had exploded in the last week since the barrier had been taken down. Kennedy placed the book back down on the coffee table and headed for the kitchen, needing to just get away for a minute.

There were times, especially like that morning, when she wished she could just get up and run away. It was just a fleeting thought, a wish she would never want to come true. She could never actually pick up and leave her family in a time like this. She hadn't told anyone about the flashes she'd seen of Buffy and Faith, not knowing if they were just her imagination or if they were real. Every time she did see them, it was for a few seconds and they were always together, always close, always touching. She could feel the strength they gave each other as the hours passed, strength that kept them holding on to whatever hope was left of coming home.

"Ken?" Xander said as he stood in the kitchen doorway. "Slayer arrival. Wanna come meet them?"

"Now?"

"Just pulled up," he said as he motioned to the front door. "Come on."

Kennedy sighed, stopping at the fridge to pull out a bottle of water before she went with Xander to meet the three Slayers that had flown in to help out with things there. She knew they all weren't really Slayers anymore, but according to Giles, these girls still could fight, Slayer strength or not. She stayed back behind everyone as introductions were made, unscrewing the cap to take a sip of her water as she eyed the Asian girl who did most of the talking.

"I'm Satsu," she said, extending her hand toward Kennedy. She was soft-spoken but seemed outgoing and cheerful. "You are Kennedy, right?" she asked with a smile.

"Right. How did you know that?"

"Carmen's Watcher talked about all of you a lot," Satsu said as she pointed to the tall, brown haired girl talking quietly with Giles. "And Amber's did too. Mine...never really got the chance."

"I see."

"Well er, I imagine you three must be exhausted from the long flight. Andrew?" Giles said as he turned to him. "Take their luggage and show them upstairs, if you please. Once the three of you have unpacked and settled in, we will discuss the plan for group patrol tonight."

"First I'm the grocery boy, then the cook boy and now I'm luggage boy?" Andrew muttered under his breath as he and Xander grabbed their luggage and headed upstairs.

"They seem..." Willow trailed off as she watched them follow Andrew and Xander up the stairs.

"Normal?" Kennedy offered as she took another sip of her water. "That Satsu chick doesn't look like she'd be able to stand a fight against anything."

"Looks are deceiving," Willow reminded her. "They are strong fighters even without their strength and power. They wouldn't be here if it wasn't true."

"Kennedy, a word please?" Giles said as he headed for the kitchen. Kennedy rolled her eyes and followed him into the kitchen.

"What's up?"

"I know how you feel about them being here, but it is crucial we all get along and work together."

"Who said that'd be a problem?"

"Believe it or not, you and Faith are a lot alike and I know how hard it is for you to trust anyone new," Giles said as he filled the kettle and placed it on the stove.

"Right. Don't worry about it, Giles. I'll play nice," she said, rolling her eyes once his back was turned. "Is that all?"

"No," he said as he turned back to look at her. "Willow and I found something, but we're not quite sure it'll work. I would appreciate it if you kept things quiet. I do not need to get Dawn's hopes up for nothing if this turns out to be yet another dead end."

"Giles?" Kennedy sighed, not wanting to ask him, but knowing she had to. "What happens if we can't...get them back?"

"We'll get them back," he replied, his voice wavering as if he truly didn't believe it himself. "We will get them back even if it takes months or years."

"But what if they can't—"

"They'll survive there," he snapped at her, shaking slightly as his voice raised. "They are strong on their own, stronger together. They'll survive no matter how long it takes."

Kennedy held back her tears as she watched Giles turn his back to her. He was just as upset as everyone else was and yet he was trying to hold it together for all of them. She backed out of the kitchen, allowing a few tears to fall as she headed for the living room and sat down in one of the chairs by the window. She looked at the slit in the heavy drapes and reached out, pulling them back just a little so she could look outside. Garbage littered the streets along with broken down and stripped cars. Most of the houses on the street had been broken in to, others set on fire. The screams they'd heard in the last seven days could still faintly be heard over the wailing sirens in the distance.

"Chaos my ass," she muttered as she wiped away her tears. "This is Hell on earth."

"Could be worse," Willow said as she walked over and sat down on the arm of the chair. "It could really be Hell. You know, if I didn't close the Hellmouth it really would be."

"Will?" Kennedy whispered as she turned to look at her. "We better bring them home."

"We will. We're working on it."

"And I want you to find a way to make us all Slayers again before you do. We got some major demon ass to kick and we can't do it like this."

"I really am working on it, Kenny. You don't understand. The spell I used—"

"Fucked everything up, even the spells that should work, right? Well find a way to fix it."

"I am!" Willow sobbed as she stood up. "Have you lost faith in me, Kenny? I am doing all that I can right now."

"I keep seeing them," she whispered as she turned to look back out the window. "I see them, just flashes, and it's horrible where they are, but they are alive and they are together."

"You...see them?"

"Sometimes," she nodded as Willow moved to sit across her lap and gently stroked her hair. "I feel them too sometimes. The hopelessness. The fear. The longing to come home. Sometimes I think I can just reach out for them and when I try, I don't see them anymore."

"We'll get them back, Kenny. We will and I'll make you a Slayer again even if it kills me trying to find a way to do just that."

She wrapped her arms around Willow, trying to smile as Willow stole a soft kiss before she laid her head against hers. "And us, Will? What about us?"

"We'll be okay again," Willow nodded. "Just give it time."

Time. All they wanted was time when in reality, the clock was ticking, the countdown set. The only thing they didn't know was what would happen when they ran out of time. It was just one of those things that Kennedy tried so desperately not to think of and yet day after day, hour after hour, it was all she ever did. Something bad was going to happen if they didn't bring Buffy and Faith back, if they didn't get all the Slayers' strength and power back to try to control the explosion in the vampire and demon population in the city. She wasn't giving up just yet, but the hopelessness she felt—she knew she felt it coming from Buffy and Faith. She might not still be a Slayer, but the essence was still there, lingering ever so faintly, connecting her to them just as it had before.

Faith laid on the mattress, idly stroking her fingers over her stomach as she watched Buffy pace back and forth in front of her. They were alone for a while; how long they weren't sure. Jackie told them to stay while she went up to the roof to check on things. Faith's body clock told her they'd been there for a week, if not more, but it didn't matter whenever she laid her eyes upon Buffy. Getting lost in her was too easy and it got easier as the minutes passed by.

"B, you wanna stop?" Faith whispered as she leaned up on her elbows. "Kinda making me dizzy here with all that pacing."

"I'm just thinking."

"Can't ya think while ya lay here with me instead?"

"She's been gone for awhile."

"Yeah, she'll be okay. She's survived this long. Come on, B," Faith said as she ran her hand over the space on the mattress beside her. "Y'know I can't watch ya walkin' around all naked and lookin' so sexy without havin' a little taste."

"Is that all you think about?" Buffy laughed as she crawled over the mattress and laid down next to her. "Sex? Having a 'little taste' when even I know you can't just have a little taste."

"With you all naked, yeah. Besides," she said softly as she turned on her side and ran her fingers over Buffy's stomach, watching as the goose bumps formed under her touch. "I know how much you love it. Can't deny it now, B. You need me as much as I need you."

"Isn't it funny how much things have changed for us since we got here?"

"What do ya mean?"

"How...close we are now, how..." Buffy trailed off, moaning softly as Faith's fingers reached her pussy. She watched her face closely as she traced small circles over her clit, watching as the pleasure and desire ran through her. "How unguarded we are with our feelings, our thoughts," she finished as Faith stopped her ministrations on her clit and brought her fingers up to her lips.

"Hmm?"

"It would have taken us longer back home, wouldn't it?"

"Longer for what?"

"To be like this," Buffy whispered, watching her as she licked her fingers clean with a very lascivious grin curling over her lips as she did. "Being here has changed us."

"For the better?"

"Yeah," Buffy smiled as she leaned in for a quick, light kiss. "For the better. No matter how bad it is here, no matter what kind of world this is, you're here and you keep me feeling safe. You make me less...afraid of what'll happen if Will can't..."

"She will. She'll get us out of here, Buffy."

"Faith, I...sometimes I think that it's wrong for us to..."

"To what?"

"This," she said as she indicated to the closeness between them. "We should be out there finding our own way home just in case Will can't. This is the last thing we should be doing and yet..."

"And yet it seems like whenever Jackie leaves it's all we do? It ain't wrong to give in to what your body's tellin' ya it wants, B."

"I know."

"So," Faith chuckled as she wiggled her eyebrows and moved to hover over Buffy. "You up for another rough ride, B?"

"Can we...take it slow this time? I'm kind of...tender from the last time," Buffy whispered as she slipped out her lower lip and pouted.

Faith growled playfully as she took Buffy's lower lip with her own and sucked, hard. Even with the sticky heat in the air, she could still feel the heat radiating off of Buffy, scorching her own skin wherever she touched. Even in the darkness she could see the bite marks just above her nipples and she tenderly ran her fingers over them, smirking as Buffy moaned softly and arched up into her touch.

"Tender, baby?"

"Yes," Buffy breathed out.

"Didn't hurt ya, did I?"

"All good pain," she smiled as Faith trailed her fingers over her hard nipples, barely touching them yet feeling the sparks flowing freely between them. "You did say that there's a thin line between pain and pleasure and you..." she gasped as Faith rolled a nipple between her fingers, "you sure showed me both sides of that line. Several times."

Faith laughed as she laid a gentle kiss upon her lips and slid down her body, capturing a nipple between her teeth and gently pulling. Every little gasp and moan that escaped Buffy's lips made the fire that was her libido rage out of control. She could almost sense Buffy's next move before it was made and she willingly allowed Buffy to grab her and force her on her back.

"Damn, B. I ever tell ya I love it when—"

Buffy stopped her from saying another word with a kiss. Her whole body was just as tender and the numerous love bites were evidence of it. She sucked on Buffy's tongue as she pushed Buffy's pussy down against hers and they both groaned and gasped as they broke away from the kiss. They tried to stay quiet as they heard the sounds of the hatch that led to the roof open—both knowing they should stop yet unable to. Not yet. Both were too lost within each other to care any longer and Faith pulled her down for a scorching kiss as she rolled them over and started up a steady pace of thrusting her pussy hard against Buffy's.

"Oh Faith...don't stop," Buffy breathed out over her lips as her fingernails dug into her back. "Harder."

"Harder?" Faith asked, gasping as she tried to catch her breath and keep up her steady thrusts. "I thought you were still tender, baby?"

"Feels so...good."

Faith laid her forehead against Buffy's, watching her as she slowly reached the peak of her climax. Just seeing her come, feeling her, it brought Faith over the edge just a few seconds later. And in those few minutes afterwards, they forgot where they were, where they were trapped, and just focused on each other. Faith didn't want to move from where she was, lying halfway on top of Buffy while she languidly stroked her fingers over her stomach and breast.

Each time was better than the last; it connected them on a whole new level. Faith had never felt quite the way she did now and instead of being scared, she savoured every last second of it. Buffy and the love they felt for one another reached into her soul and pushed away the darkness she had always feared would come back rearing its ugly head. Buffy was her light, Buffy had always been her light, but she hadn't realized that until she'd let her in completely. Now that she'd let her in, she wasn't about to push her out either. They'd come a long way in the last month, a very long way for the two of them, and it was in those moments after making love that Faith thought about things between them.

They laid there until they heard the sounds of Jackie finally coming down from the roof. They quickly got dressed and headed down the stairs from the loft. Jackie just gave them a knowing smile, pouring them each a small glass of water as they approached the table.

"Drink up. It's going to be a long walk," she said to them as she walked to the shelves along the wall and picked up a worn backpack.

"Where are we going?" Buffy asked her, picking up her glass of water and fighting off Faith's wandering hands at the same time.

"I've got things to show you two. Something that may just help you find a way home. If not," she sighed as she turned to them, "I hope it'll provide you two with some answers."

"How long a walk we talkin' about?" Faith asked as she watched Jackie load up the backpack with supplies.

"Long. We have some time before the next shift. We should be able to make it back here before that happens."

"Anything we should keep our eyes open for? Any threats?" Buffy asked and Jackie turned to her, scowling. "Right, we have to wait and see. Sorry I even asked."

Faith smirked as she downed the rest of her water and placed the glass back down on the table. She grabbed onto the loops on Buffy's jeans and pulled her close, smiling as Buffy leaned up to kiss her. Everything had changed between them since they'd gotten there; being as comfortable as they now were around each other was one of those things. Jackie paid no attention to them as she walked to her room and disappeared inside. Faith used that moment to slide her hands around to Buffy's ass and pull her in closer, deepening the kiss as Buffy let out a soft moan.

"If you two are quite finished," Jackie chuckled as she walked out of the room with another bag, "we should get going. Every second wasted is a second we may need to get back here in time for the shift."

"Right. Sorry," Faith smirked as she stepped away from Buffy slowly. "Let's motor."

They followed Jackie out through the front and started down the street. Things had changed considerably since the last shift. More buildings were crumbled while others seemed to have newly appeared. They stayed a few paces behind Jackie, sidestepping the cracks and potholes in the street every couple of steps. They walked close together, their hands brushing up against one another's until Buffy slipped her hand in Faith's, turning toward her briefly with a little smile.

They kept up with Jackie as they reached the edge of the city and the buildings became few and far between. Jackie came to a stop by a few boulders and sat down, offering them a sip of water from the jug she'd brought along. She said nothing to them as she looked around, muttering to herself under her breath. The breeze picked up to a steady wind and Jackie motioned for them to continue on.

"Where are we going?" Buffy asked, looking at Faith when Jackie didn't answer her. "Do you have a bad feeling about this?"

"No."

"Where is she taking us?"

"Dunno, B. Guess we'll have to wait and see," Faith shrugged. "What's the worst that could happen, really?"

"Oh I don't know. We could be attacked by something out here?"

"Nothing here can touch you physically," Jackie said as she stopped and looked back at them. "They can only get into your mind and drive you bat-shit crazy. Like they did with me."

"No shit," Faith muttered under her breath and Buffy tried not to laugh as Jackie continued walking. "Now I'm getting a bad feeling."

"I told you."

"No," Faith chucked softly. "Getting a bad feeling about _her_. If she's really fucking crazy, who knows where she's taking us right now?"

"I'm taking you somewhere that'll give you the answers you seek," Jackie said as she came to a stop outside of what looked like cemetery gates. "Were you two not paying attention when I told you this before?"

Buffy shrugged as Faith stared right at Jackie with a straight face. Jackie just sighed as she opened the iron gates and stepped through, disappearing as soon as she did. Faith looked over at Buffy and shrugged, taking her hand and pulling her through. The sticky hot air was gone in an instant and when Faith opened her eyes, she saw she was somewhere else. Jackie was standing a few feet away, muttering to herself as she paced back and forth on the gravel pathway. Buffy had her hand in an ironclad grip and Faith chuckled as she pried her hand off and waited for Buffy to open her eyes.

Everything about the cemetery they were now in was far too familiar to Faith. She'd been there before and it took her only a moment to realize just when. She'd been there before in her dreams, though a big difference now was that there was sunlight streaming down, poking out from behind the fluffy white clouds in the sky. Even with the bright sunlight, it wasn't nearly as hot as it had been before they stepped through the gates. Without a word, Jackie motioned for them to follow her and they did, exchanging a look with each other as the sounds of hundreds of whispers filled the air.

"Where are we?" Buffy whispered as she walked close to Faith. "And why does this place seem so familiar?"

"Been dreaming of it since we got here," Faith replied quietly.

"This is the resting ground for souls," Jackie said as she continued walking. "I did not know it'd be a cemetery. Always changes. With every shift it is something else, never the same. Never will be the same ever again."

"You hear that, B?" Faith asked, ignoring Jackie as she looked around. "Voices."

"Yeah. Can't make out what they're saying. Can you?"

"No," Faith said as she shook her head. "What the hell is this place?"

"I told you," Jackie said firmly as she turned to look back at them, "you'll find the answers here. We haven't much time to waste."

They walked through the cemetery, both looking side to side to try to figure out where the whispers were coming from. They never saw anything, not even in the shadows of the trees scattered throughout the rolling hills and tombstones. They came to a stop in front of a small temple where Jackie opened the door and pointed inside.

"I cannot come with you," she said as Faith approached the doorway slowly. "There is no threat inside there, only answers. I will be waiting right here. And Buffy?" Jackie stopped Buffy from following Faith. "She needs to go in alone."

Faith just looked back at Buffy for a moment before turning and walking inside the small temple. The heavy wooden door slammed shut behind her and she had to blink several times for her eyes to adjust to the dim light coming only from some torches burning on the walls. She began walking down the corridor but came to a stop when she heard footsteps behind her.

"B, I thought I was supposed to..." she trailed off as she turned around to face an old man wearing a black robe. "Uh, hey?"

"Faith Lehane, we have been waiting for you," the old man said quietly as two other men in identical black robes stepped out of the shadows to join him. "You've come for answers, have you not?"

"Yes, but I—"

"You want to find a way home? Back to the mortal world?" He asked, not waiting for an answer as he motioned to the two others to grab on to her. "Please do not be afraid. Sit," he said as he watched the two men grab onto her arms and lead her over to one of the tall chairs at the very end of the corridor. "Do you know who that woman is that brought you here?"

"Who, Jackie? No."

"Your blood is bonded, tied to one another," he said as he sat down in the second chair next to her. "She was sent here a long time ago, nearly twenty two of your years. Do you know why she was sent here?"

"Not a clue."

"She had made a bad enemy of a very powerful Wiccan. Her daughter—you—was given to her sister and she was sent here. Do you know why she was banished here?"

"She's my...mother?"

"In flesh and blood, yes. She was sent here to help you now, for the seers saw that you would be sent here with the other."

"So what, when I was just a fuckin' baby, you knew I'd be sent here so you took my real mother away and...this is fucking ridiculous. I'm outta here."

"Sit," the man said firmly as she tried to stand up. "In your mortal world, everything happens for a reason. A chain reaction of sorts. You and the other were sucked into this world so that chaos could unleash. The Scythe was never to be used as it had, to activate the potentials. In turn it caused the other, the one you killed, to listen to the voices that convinced her to reach out for her soul that lies here."

"So, this is all our fault?"

"No," the man said as he shook his head. "It is not your fault. It is what the seers saw many years before you were even born. It was meant to happen. You were meant to go through all that you have to end up right where you are now. The empathy you can feel makes you stronger now. You can feel the other and she calms you. This is crucial in your survival, to hold onto the one who holds your very heart and soul close to her own."

"Who? Buffy?"

The man nodded as he reached out for her hand and placed his gently on top of hers. "You will leave here—not soon, but eventually—and when you do, you and the other will take the woman with you. You will emerge from this place holding onto strength you never dreamt of having. Strength that is ten times as strong as you are as a Slayer. "

"How _are_ we going to leave this place, old man?"

"The Wiccan, the one who failed to close the Hellmouth in time. She will find a way. She always finds a way. You must endure the time here, cherish it, as it will help you see and feel things you never could before. You must remember the things you feel, the things you think and dream of while here. Your hardships in life are far from over, Slayer. You will set on a journey that will test your inner strength, your love, and your very soul."

"And my mother? Does she know that I'm..." Faith couldn't even say it. It hurt just to think of it. The woman she'd known as her mother wasn't really her mother. It changed a lot of things and it made her think of how different her life would have ended up if she hadn't been brought up by her real mother's deadbeat sister. "Does she know about me? Does she know who I am?"

"She feels it, but fears it is just her mind playing tricks on her. Her time spent here in this world has altered her vision of reality."

"So she's really crazy?"

"Yes, to an extent," the old man replied. "In time she will return to a vision of her old self, that is if only she allows it to be. And you, Slayer, are a crucial part in her recovery once you three leave this world to go back to your own. You must tell her the truth, you must show her who and what you've become and you must show her who you'll become in the days that follow your departure from here. Finally, tell the other there are no answers for her as those answers she seeks cannot be found here."

Faith nodded, trying to absorb everything the man was telling her. The wooden door blew open and the sunlight from outside shone in, acting as the light that would guide her out. She turned to look at the old man, but he and the others were gone. With a heavy sigh she stood up from the chair and headed for the entrance. Every step she took, she could feel the tears burning in her eyes and her whole body begin the shake. She ignored Buffy and Jackie when she stepped outside, walking as quickly as she could down the gravel pathway towards the gates that led them there.

They weren't the answers to the questions she thought she had, but for some reason she'd felt the truth in the old man's words and the truth filled her with a warmth she'd never quite felt before. She came to a stop just before the gate and turned to watch as Buffy practically ran for her. She looked confused and a tad scared, but Faith just wrapped her arms around her and whispered to her that everything was going to be okay.

"What did you hear in there?" Buffy asked as she stepped back just a little so she could look into her eyes. "Faith? What did you hear in there?"

"I'll tell you later," she whispered as Jackie approached them slowly, her mangled leg the only thing slowing her down just a little. "All I can tell you right now, B, is we're going home."

"Now?"

"No," Faith said as she shook her head. "But we are going home."

"Did you find the answers you were seeking?" Jackie asked, staring intensely at Faith as she dropped her arms from around Buffy. "Did they tell you what you wanted to hear?"

"No. They told me what I _needed_ to hear."

"Good," Jackie smiled and moved towards the gates. "Let's get back. We haven't much time before the next shift. I can feel it coming. It is coming sooner than I thought."

In that one single moment that their eyes met before they passed through the gates, she really felt it. She knew that this woman really was her mother and that alone scared her more than anything else.


	24. Chapter 24

The walk back took longer than it seemed. Faith could feel the changes in the air, could feel the rumblings long before they started. She stayed far behind Jackie and Buffy, lost in her own thoughts, fighting back the tears she so desperately wanted to let flow. What she'd been told had made her thoughts go into overdrive and the thing that scared her was the fact that this woman Jackie was not only her real mother, but she'd just _known_ there was something about her right from that first moment they'd met. She just _knew_ from looking into her eyes that it was true, that it was real, and that she—for the first time in her whole life—was looking into the eyes of the woman who brought her into this world, so different from the woman who had raised her and turned her life into shit.

Buffy and Jackie were talking quietly ahead of her, talking about the place they'd just been to. Jackie was trying to explain it to Buffy, but the words failed her and Faith could feel the confusion in her strongly. She ran her hands through her tangled hair, laughing to herself when she started to realize the little things that made them so much alike. The way Jackie would laugh at times, that throaty laugh that sent shivers down her spine since it almost sounded as if it came from her. The way she'd just look at her or Buffy at times, as if she was trying to pick them apart, Faith knew was identical to her own scrutiny of newcomers. The way she would nervously run her hand through her hair when she wasn't sure of what to do or say, the very same way and the very same hand that Faith ran through her own hair.

She started to think of just how different her life could have been had her real mother been there. Would it have been any better? Worse? Virtually the same with just a few different details? She knew she'd drive herself insane if she kept trying to look further into the answers she'd been given and she wished more than anything that she had a cigarette or ten right there to help calm her frazzled nerves.

"Faith?" Buffy called out as they made it back to the edge of the city. "We have to hurry up!"

Faith said nothing as she kept walking, kicking the stone she'd been kicking for what seemed like miles. She only just now noticed that and she let out a soft sigh as Buffy walked over to her and stopped her where she was. Buffy just stared at her, searching her eyes as if that was all it'd take to get whatever answers to whatever questions she had.

"What's wrong? What did they tell you in there?"

"Nothing, B."

"They told you nothing?" Buffy asked as she raised an eyebrow. "Or nothing is wrong?"

"Forget about it," Faith said as she walked past her and tried to catch up to Jackie who'd kept on walking. "Just…forget about it."

"Well something is bothering you, Faith. Why can't you talk to me? What did they say to you in there? Just tell me."

"Told ya," she sighed as she turned to look at her. "They said we'll go home. Eventually."

"There's something else."

"There is nothing else."

"No," Buffy groaned as she grabbed onto Faith and forced her to stop walking away. "They told you something else. What?"

"Forget about it, Buffy."

"No, I am not just going to forget about it," she said as she held onto Faith to keep her from moving from the spot. "What did they say to you?"

"Jackie," she whispered, feeling the hot tears stinging at her eyes. "They told me that she's—god, this is ridiculous."

"That she's what?"

"My mother. They told me that she's my _mother_. That she was taken from me and that her _sister_ raised me while she spent the last twenty-two fucking years here. Do you realize what that fucking means, Buffy? It means my whole fucked up life happened cos my _real_ mother was taken from me and I was stuck believing all this time that I had a deadbeat drunk of mother who died choking on her own vomit."

"Oh my god, Faith. Are you serious? Jackie is...your mother?"

"Yeah, kind of had a hard time letting that goddamn mind fuck sink in myself. Still is kinda sinkin' in here, as you can fuckin' see."

"Does she know?"

Faith shrugged as she stepped past Buffy and kept walking, trying to keep her footing as the ground shook beneath her feet. "They said she thinks it's her mind playing tricks on her, but she knows."

"This explains a lot," Buffy said quietly as she caught up to her. "Did you—you know, before they told you..."

"Did I what? Think that there was a sliver of a chance that I knew her? That I was related to her? I got a feeling of familiarity, but that's about fucking it!"

"Calm down," Buffy said as she slipped her hand into Faith's. "Please just calm down, Faith. I know this must be a lot to take in right now, considering all that we have to deal with—stuck here between worlds, no way home in sight—"

"Willow's gonna find a way to bring us home, B. They told me. _She's_ coming with us too, apparently," she said under her breath as she pointed ahead to where Jackie was. "I fucking hate this."

"Hate what?"

"Feeling _everything_. It was so much easier when I just felt my own emotions, but no, I have to feel yours and hers and god knows who else's. I feel _you_ more than I feel myself, Buffy."

"And that what? Scares you?"

"No, right now, that makes me feel angry and a second ago it was making me feel calm. No second guesses on just who I'm feeling right now."

"Is this why everything changed between us?" Buffy asked as they walked quicker and tried to keep up with Jackie. "Because of the empathy you feel now?"

"Maybe."

"So," Buffy sighed out as she let go of her hand, "if you didn't become affected by that barrier spell, this," she said as she motioned between them, "wouldn't even be happening, would it?"

"I don't know, Buffy! You think that you could love me if you weren't affected by the barrier spell? Do you really honestly believe that you could? I mean shit," she laughed as she shook her head and shoved her hands into the front pockets of her jeans, "you love me even after all we've been through, even after the fact that yes, we _hated_ each other and couldn't even stand to be near each other. If that's not fucking crazy, then I don't know what it is!"

"I love you because I see who you are, really see you now and not because of the spell, Faith. I know I love you. I feel it every day. I feel it every time I just look at you. Don't you dare fucking question how I feel about you ever again."

"You realize that's the first time you told me ya love me by using the actual words?"

"Oh."

"Love ya too, B."

"Faith," she sighed as she looked at her with tears in her eyes. "Say it properly."

"Properly?" Faith looked at her, feeling rather confused for a moment until she got it. "I love you too, B."

"Girls? Hurry up, we need to get back!" Jackie called out. "You'll have plenty of time to talk later."

"You know what's crazy, B?" Faith asked as they walked a little quicker. "One minute we're like...fighting or whatever and the next we're saying we love each other. Ya think our whole relationship is bipolar or somethin'?"

"Maniac highs, depressive lows, and mellow in betweens," Buffy paused as if she was thinking about it seriously, the smile creeping over her lips giving her away. "Definitely. We got bipolar love syndrome. You know what the best medication is for that?"

"What?"

"A kiss," she said, stopping as she pulled Faith in close as the ground shook harder beneath them. "And maybe later we could...you know..." Buffy trailed off as their lips met in a brief kiss.

"Girls, please. We don't have much time at all!" Jackie yelled, beginning to run as best as she could as the ground continued to shake.

"Come on," Faith said as she grabbed onto Buffy's hand and they began to run, following Jackie towards the warehouse just up ahead.

They made it inside just as the rumbling became worse and they headed straight for the hatch, Buffy and Faith both dropping down and helping Jackie down quickly. She was out of breath and they led her over to the cot and sat her down. Faith fumbled for the lighter in her pocket, one that Jackie had given to her during the last shift, and she lit the candles as Buffy got her some water. She sat down on the crate by the ladder, watching as Buffy helped Jackie sit up to take a few sips of water.

It gave her a few moments just to look at Jackie, to see the softness in those same brown eyes as her own and to see the outpouring of love she was beginning to feel for both of them. For a woman who had spent the last twenty-two years of her life trapped in this world with no human contact, with nobody to talk to—physically at least—she couldn't imagine what it'd be like to finally have not one, but two human beings there with her now. Faith knew that to Jackie, it didn't feel like all those years had gone by. Time was different there and even she knew that what felt like a week could be longer, it could even be less, days or hours even.

Buffy came to sit beside her when Jackie fell asleep. She said nothing as she leaned against Faith and let out a soft, tired sigh. She missed being able to sleep soundly and she knew Buffy did as well. She wanted to get back home and spend a week just sleeping off the never-ending fatigue she'd been feeling since they were sucked inside this world. She just leaned against the cool steel wall and closed her eyes, trying to focus on Buffy's soft, steady breaths rather than the rumblings that were constant now.

"Do you think she'll be okay?" Buffy whispered. "Jackie, I mean. She's pretty out of it."

"She's just tired, B."

"I know, but she doesn't look well. You don't think she's getting sick, do you?"

"Dunno."

"Faith," Buffy sighed as she reached up and gently cupped her face and forced her to look at her. "I know you are exhausted and you just want to go home. I do too. But you kept saying before that we have to make the most out of being here. I don't know how to do that."

"Me neither. Why do ya think I got the answers to everything, B?"

"I don't—"

"I wish I had the answers, I really fuckin' do. I get that you wanna know all the answers too, but I'm tired of talking about this. All this lack of sleep is making me fucking cranky and—"

"Bitchy," Buffy cut in, smirking when Faith just raised an eyebrow at her. "I know. It's okay. What you found out today would make me feel a little more than cranky and bitchy."

"How can you be so understanding?"

"I don't know. I guess it's something that comes hand in hand with love."

"Really?"

Buffy nodded her head slowly before leaning in for a soft kiss. Faith's tongue snuck out for a quick taste before they both pulled apart at the sounds of Jackie mumbling in her sleep. Faith moved to sit on the hard floor and pulled Buffy down from the crate with her. She spread her legs for Buffy to sit there in front of her and she loosely wrapped her arms around her. She didn't need to see Buffy to know she was smiling just a little and she kissed the side of her head before she leaned back against the wall and closed her eyes.

She dozed on and off until the rumblings finally stopped. She woke Buffy up with a gentle kiss on the side of her neck and she headed up the ladder while Buffy tried to wake Jackie up. The rain was coming down, sounding almost thunderous as it hit the building and the ground steadily. Faith threw open the door and stared outside, momentarily mesmerized by the heavy rain. She turned to watch as Buffy helped Jackie up the ladder and led her over to the crate by the table. She did look sick and her eyes were slightly glazed over.

"Jackie, are you okay?" Buffy asked her softly as she knelt down next to her, taking her shaking hands in her own. "Is there something we can do for you?"

"I'm fine. It'll pass," she said with a soft smile. "Every once in awhile I get like this. It's the...place I took you to. It gets under my skin, crawls like a thousand spiders in my blood. Once I get something to eat, I shall be fine again."

Faith just turned to look back outside, crossing her arms over her chest as she leaned against the open door. She heard Buffy get the small fire started, knowing she should help, but didn't want to be bothered. She didn't have an appetite, which was becoming normal when all there was to eat was potato soup. She wanted something else, something that resembled actual food. It was asking and wishing for too much and she knew it was worse for her to think of the things she'd rather eat.

"Faith, can you help out?" Buffy asked softly as she placed a pot of water over the rack just above the fire. "Faith?"

"I'm gonna go collect some water. Supply is starting to get a little low," she said under her breath as she went to grab the buckets and headed outside.

She shivered as the rain instantly soaked her clothes, her hair, and her skin. She placed the buckets on the ground and sighed as she titled her head back and closed her eyes, feeling the warm rain against her skin. Her right arm was twitching and she felt Buffy before she even stepped up behind her and reached out for her arm.

"What's wrong, Faith?"

"Nothin's wrong, B."

"You can't stand to see her like this, can you?"

"Really can't."

"She'll be fine. She told us she would be fine. I helped her to her room so she could rest and now she's sleeping again."

"She's coming back with us—y'know, once Willow finds a way to get us home. I don't know how she's gonna be able to deal with life then. She's been gone from our world for so long, B. Afraid someone will end up puttin' her in some mental institution or something."

"She'll stay with us. We'll make sure she's okay," Buffy said with a smile as she wrapped her arms around Faith. "Giles won't let anyone take her away from us; from _you_. I won't let it happen either. None of us will. She'll be stuck with us for the rest of her life whether she likes it or not."

"Great," Faith laughed dryly as she shook her head and tried to blink away the rain that fell in her eyes. "Do you think I should talk to her about this? Tell her it's real, that it's true?"

"Maybe wait until she's woken up and feels more like herself. Come on, let's get inside and get dried off and we'll eat and get a few hours of sleep, okay?" Buffy said as she dropped her arms from around her and pulled her by her hands towards the doorway.

Faith gave in and willingly allowed Buffy to drag her back inside. She headed up for the loft, peeling off her wet clothes as she did. Buffy wasn't too far behind her. She hung her wet clothes over the metal railing and made her way over to the mattress, the fatigue really starting to hit her now. Buffy stood at the foot of the mattress, her wet hair dripping steadily as she stared down at her. Faith knew that look. She'd gotten used to seeing that look whenever they had a little bit of time alone.

"Guess the whole eating thing will hafta wait 'till later, huh?"

"Yeah, guess so," Buffy smirked as she crawled over the mattress and on top of Faith. "How is it that I always want you?"

"Cos sex is addictive?"

"Well duh, but I...every second that passes I just want to..." Buffy trailed off as she held herself up with one hand and ran the other slowly over her left breast.

"We're insatiable, B."

"Is it always going to be like this?"

"Hope so, cos I can't get enough of ya," Faith whispered huskily as she ran her hands down Buffy's back, stopping when she reached her hips to pull her down close, both of them moaning at the contact. "But I think right now," she said as she grabbed on to Buffy's hand currently caressing her breast and pulled it away, "we should probably make some of that fuckin' nasty soup and eat something. Feels like we're both wastin' away here and I can't have that. You're already fuckin' skinny enough as it is."

"It's not that bad," Buffy replied as she got off of her, grabbing one of the sheets that was folded up at the end of the mattress and wrapping it around herself. "At least it partially resembles actual food. It could be worse. We could've starved to death by now."

Faith chuckled as she grabbed the other sheet and wrapped it around her own body. "Pretty sure it'd take a little longer than we've been here for us to starve to death, B. Besides," she sighed as she followed Buffy to the stairs, "I've been through worse times. Never having more than maybe a piece of bread and watered down juice every other day. The potato soup is a helluva lot better than that if you ask me."

"One day I want to hear everything about what it was like for you," Buffy said quietly as she turned to her. "I want to hear everything about your life, Faith."

"It's bad. Some stuff I'd rather not talk about. Ever."

"Faith, it can't be—"

"It is," she said sharply, trying to control her bubbling anger. "You have no fuckin' idea how bad it got at times and how fuckin' depressing it is for me to talk about it. I get that you wanna know everything about me, but my childhood doesn't exactly define who I am now, B. Maybe in your world it does, but not in mine. I am who I am today cos of..."

"Because of what?"

"You. All the changes I've gone through since I came back is cos of you, B. Believe it or not, I wanna be better than anything I'd ever been before. I wanna be good enough for you."

"You are good enough for me," Buffy whispered as she stopped her from heading down the rickety stairs. "Never believe for a second that you aren't. I know our past is rocky and that there was a lot of bad between us, but it is different now and it's never going to be like that again between us."

"How can ya be so sure?"

Buffy took her hand and placed it over her chest so Faith could feel her heart beating rapidly. "I feel it in here, Faith. And you know something? I always trust what my heart tells me."

"Always?"

"Yes, always. Before, when it came to you, I was afraid. Sometimes," she whispered as Faith ran her hand up and over Buffy's shoulder slowly, causing her to pause for a second longer than she probably intended. "Sometimes I still am afraid because what I feel for you is so deep and it is so real and strong. It's not like anything I ever felt before."

"Not even with Angel?"

"The way I feel about you doesn't come close to what I once felt about Angel. It's stronger," she whispered, leaning into Faith's touch as she gently traced her fingers over Buffy's jaw. "And it's much more real because I can actually be with you and..."

"And we can fuck as many times as we want to without me going all grr-argh, right?"

"I—it's more than just being able to fuck, Faith. It's about being able to truly love. You know what I mean?"

"Starting to get an idea, yeah."

"Come on, let's eat and check on Jackie, make sure she's okay. We'll talk more later," Buffy whispered, leaning in to kiss her quickly before she turned and headed down the stairs.

Faith stood there for a moment and just watched her as she walked across the floor to the small fire. She took a few deep breaths before she headed down the stairs and went to Jackie's room to check on her. She stood in the doorway for a moment, staring in at the woman lying on the mattress, and tried to see her as her mother instead of the crazy lady who had taken them in—given them shelter, water, food, and some knowledge of the world they were trapped in. It'd take time for her to accept Jackie as her mother even if she did feel a connection with her.

"Faith?" Jackie said softly as she lifted her head slightly. "Come here."

"Everything okay?"

"I want to talk to you about what you were told," she said as Faith sat down on the end near Jackie's feet. "What did they say to you, Faith? What did they say that made you so afraid?"

"Who said I'm afraid?"

Jackie chuckled softly as she sat up and took in a deep breath. "I can see it. Fear projects itself in many ways and your emotions are always shown in your eyes even when you try to guard them from those around you. What did they say to you, Faith? Did they tell you that you are stuck here or did they tell you something else?"

"We're not stuck here. I mean we are until Willow—"

"Then what?"

"They told me who you are."

"And who am I?"

"My mother. My _real_ mother."

"I feared I'd be right," she muttered under her breath as she moved to sit next to Faith. "I feared it the moment I first laid my eyes on you. I thought it was my head—the voices in my head playing tricks on me again. I remembered, just a little, of my time before I was sent here. I remembered a little baby girl with the most beautiful brown eyes and the feisty attitude. She was my little girl, the little girl I wanted my whole life, and she was taken from me just days after..."

"And given to your sister who I grew up believing was my deadbeat mother."

"I'm sorry," Jackie whispered, the tears streaming down her cheeks as she reached out for Faith. "If I knew...if I could have come back..." she trailed off as Faith moved away from her, fighting off her own emotions as best as she could. "It was bad for you, wasn't it? I should have never gotten mixed up with that witch."

"What witch?"

"Her name was Laura," she whispered. "She promised me she could make the voices in my head go away if I helped her. I couldn't help her and she sent me here as punishment for lying to her about helping her."

"Help her with what?"

"Her own daughter. She was lost and she was desperate to help her daughter find herself again and I...I thought I could help. I thought she was lost as in she'd run away, but I was wrong. Her soul was lost and it wasn't until she sent me here that I did find it. But it was too late, as you know, and I heard the whispers that I'd be stuck here until the day my own daughter found me. I guess it was true."

Faith took in a deep breath, trying to hold back the tears, the anger, the laughter that came along with learning that Julie's mother was responsible for her own mother being sent to this place. She should have seen the signs; she should have pieced it together when Jackie had told her about Henry's soul. She should have known there was so much more to what Julie had been trying to do when she opened the Hellmouth. She wasn't just trying to get her soul back to regain her powers; she wanted to send her and Buffy here, semi-damned in a world where it was nearly impossible to survive with your sanity intact.

Everything was connected, everything happened for a reason. Every mistake and every choice, every decision she'd ever made in her life had led her here. She turned to Jackie and watched her as she struggled to stand up. She walked over to the filing cabinet and pulled out a picture and handed it to Faith.

"It was all I had on me when I was sent here other than the clothes on my back. It's my only reminder of my daughter—of you," she whispered as she wiped away her tears. "I'm...I never expected her to keep your name. I only said it once to her when she came by while we were still in the hospital. She never cared. She only came to me when she wanted money and a place to crash for the night. How she managed to take care of you..."

"She didn't. Not any way that counted," Faith whispered as she stared at the picture in the flickering candlelight. "It's all done and over with now. Can't keep crying over the past and a fucked up childhood, can I?"

"Too late to change it," Jackie replied as she took the picture back and placed it in the filing cabinet drawer carefully. "Always too late. You know, you were my miracle baby, Faith. Your father and I, we tried to get pregnant for nearly ten years before it finally happened. It's a pity he ran off before you were born. He might have been able to stop me from trusting that woman, that witch that destroyed your life and mine."

Faith stood up slowly, wiping away her own tears and clenching her teeth together to keep herself from saying all the things she really wanted to say to her. She wanted to ask her so many questions, questions that just wouldn't form at the moment. Her thoughts were running wild, her emotions fuelling them, and all she could do was stare at Jackie. She pulled the sheet tighter around her body, feeling more vulnerable with her emotions than she had in her entire life, even in those moments when she opened herself up to Buffy. This was her mother she was facing, the mother she never knew and yet had a chance to now.

"I know things might seem different now that we both know, but if you have anything you want to ask me—"

"I don't. Not now."

"I understand," Jackie said as she headed for the door. "Let's get some food in us, yeah? We'll talk when you want to talk and anything you want to know, I'll try to answer. I have a few questions for you too."

"She's dead," Faith said quietly before Jackie walked away. "Your sister. She's dead."

"Oh. How?"

"Choked on her own vomit after going on a weeklong binge. At least that's what I heard. I wasn't living with her. Was living in a foster home at that time."

"Oh dear," Jackie said, trembling as she clutched her chest. "Those voices really do speak the truth. How old were you?"

"I—I don't remember. It was more than ten years ago," Faith shrugged, shaking at the memories that came back with thinking of that part of her life. "I don't want to talk about this now, Jackie."

Faith stayed in the room alone, sitting back down on the mattress and finally allowing the tears to fall. She didn't even try to stop them when Buffy came in to check on her. She could barely see Buffy through the tears as she sat down next to her and wrapped her arms tightly around her. She was done trying to hold it back and cried in Buffy's arms, feeling the calm and the strength in full force coming from her and yet this time it just wasn't working. She needed to feel weak and vulnerable now. No more running and hiding from it if she ever wanted to move on from it and become the strong woman she knew deep down inside that she could be.

The world they were trapped in had its share of blessings and curses and right now, it was nothing more than a mixed bag.

Kennedy ran as fast as she could to keep up with Satsu, Carmen, and Amber as they ran through the cemetery trying to chase down the newbie vampire they'd been waiting for almost all night. The last two weeks had been hard for everyone with the exploding vampire population. It was so much harder for the four of them to keep things under control now that they had only knowledge of how to fight them and not the strength and the power they had briefly enjoyed.

"Split up!" Satsu yelled to them as she and Amber headed left.

"Come on, Kennedy. Keep up!" Carmen yelled back at her as she headed right with Kennedy desperately trying to keep up with her still. "God, are you always slow?"

"No," Kennedy breathed out as they came to a stop when they reached a dead end. "And apparently this was not a good idea to split up. Who the fuck made Satsu boss anyway?"

"Giles."

"Right. Great. Fucking fantastic," she groaned as she leaned against a tree and struggled to breathe.

"You really should give up on the whole smoking thing," Carmen said as she looked her up and down. "It really doesn't agree with you and running, it seems."

"No kidding," Kennedy muttered under her breath as she closed her eyes. "God, I miss Faith and I'm even gonna go as far as saying I miss Buffy too."

"We miss them and we've never even met them. Do you think they are still Slayers?"

"They weren't activated by the scythe, so yeah, they are."

"Where are Perry and Marshall?"

"Staking out the entrance," Kennedy said as she finally managed to take a deep breath without feeling as if she was going to puke. "If it weren't for them last night, we'd all be dead."

"Right, because we're nothing but nearly helpless women who need to be saved by big, muscular, heroic men. Give me a break."

Kennedy groaned as she pushed herself off the tree. Of the three girls that had shown up a week ago, she hated Carmen the most. She was cocky, arrogant, full of miss-know-it-all attitude and even Kennedy knew that if Faith was around, she wouldn't get away with half the things she said to any of them. Just once she wished she could grow a pair and show Carmen a thing or two with her fists, but Giles had warned her to keep her hands to herself after a training session between the two of them got out of hand, leaving both of them with split lips and black eyes and torn shirts.

Satsu wasn't too bad. Kennedy had grown a soft spot for her. She had leadership skills, that was certain, but she wasn't bossy, not the way Buffy could get at times. For one fleeting moment—okay, several in the last week, she knew she'd developed a tiny bit of a crush on Satsu. It was hard not to. She was sweet, she had her moments when she was funny, she was smart, she was a great fighter even without the Slayer strength and power, and she just seemed to connect to everyone around her easily. The crush wasn't one sided, either. She'd seen some of the too-long gazes Satsu had aimed her way and not quite managed to hide.

They caught up with Satsu and Amber just as they managed to corner the newbie vampire. Carmen pushed Kennedy out of the way as she pulled out her stake and charged after the vampire before any of them could move in for the kill. Kennedy pulled herself up from the ground just in time to see Carmen stake the vampire. She shook her head, dusted off her clothes, and headed for the entrance, done for the night. Carmen's antics were really starting to drive her insane—borderline homicidal insane.

She passed through the gates, ignoring Perry and Marshall as she headed on the short walk back to the house. There was only so much 'leadership' crap she could deal with in one night and with Carmen constantly trying to take over that role, she was about to lose it. She got why Giles didn't want her in charge while they were out on patrol. She had a hot head, did before she thought, and she was just 'too much like Faith for her own good' or so Giles had stated more than once in the last two weeks since Buffy and Faith had been sucked inside the portal.

She didn't go inside right away, opting to sit on the bench Xander had built for the front porch instead. She pulled out the pack of cigarettes from her pocket and lit one as Willow walked out the front door and sat down next to her.

"I don't know why you smoke," she said softly. "Kissing you now is like kissing an astray."

"So don't kiss me then," Kennedy retorted and she took a long drag, inhaling sharply as she leaned back and closed her eyes. "God, I can't wait to bring Buffy and Faith home. It's fucking hell on patrol without them."

"Problems with that newbie vampire?"

"Problems with Carmen," Kennedy muttered. "Why does she have to be such a fucking bitch?"

"I take it you two still aren't getting along?" Willow asked as she casually slipped her hand into Kennedy's and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Just don't let her get to you, baby. Maybe a little bit of sorta good news will cheer you up?"

"What news?"

"Kind of comes with a bit of bad news too," Willow replied, taking a few deep breaths as Kennedy turned to look at her. "Giles and I found a spell to locate the portal that leads to wherever Buffy and Faith are. We can't bring them home unless we find the portal they were sucked into."

"Locate? Wait, isn't the portal inside the Hellmouth?"

"It moves. It is no longer inside the Hellmouth as far as we can tell. A few women from the coven in England are coming to help in a couple of weeks and until then...we have to wait."

"A couple of weeks?" Kennedy nearly yelled as she ripped her hand from Willow's tight grasp.

"We don't have a choice! If we want them home safely, we have to do it right."

Kennedy let out a heavy sigh as she closed her eyes once again. Wherever Buffy and Faith were, they were safe, but for how long was anyone's best guess. She knew they'd be able to bring them home, she had complete faith in Willow, but for some reason she had a strange feeling that they wouldn't be the only ones coming back.


	25. Chapter 25

**Author's Notes: This chapter is void of Buffy and Faith, but don't worry, they'll be back in the next...had to have this one for continuity purposes :)**

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Every morning was exactly the same since Buffy and Faith had been sucked inside the portal and from the looks of things it was going to continue exactly that way until they came back. For the most part, Kennedy and Xander weren't a part of the meetings and the research that followed. Xander went off to work, saying it helped him keep his mind off the fact that two of his friends were in trapped in a place they now didn't even know the location of. Kennedy spent those few hours in Faith's room, sitting on the bed and staring blankly out the window, waiting for another one of those flashes even though none had come in almost a week.

Kennedy knew she should be thankful for the fact that Perry and Marshall had offered to help out every other night on patrol. Their unit had been disbanded when Sam 'disappeared'; nobody had told them what really had happened to Sam. The money was still coming in, though. When Kennedy had questioned Perry as to where it was coming from, he only shrugged and told her that there was an envelope in his mailbox each morning along with a list of all of their names and an amount written down next to each one.

There were a lot of things going on and she couldn't seem to keep her mind focused on the one thing she should be focused on. Her relationship with Willow was falling apart, crumbling faster than she could figure out how to fix it. She knew the stress that Willow was under in trying to find a way to bring Buffy and Faith back home had a lot to do with it, but if she was honest with herself it had been happening a lot longer than that. The stupid arguments, the nights when Willow would push her away and tell her she wasn't in the mood, not even for some snuggles before bed, the days when Willow wouldn't even look at her or talk to her. It was all beginning to make her wonder why she was even holding on to the relationship when it wasn't working out. Anyone with eyes could see that.

"Did you want to be alone?" Satsu asked quietly from the door as she leaned against the frame. "I was hoping maybe we could talk or sit in silence together for awhile. I really don't want to be downstairs this morning."

Kennedy shrugged as she shifted on the bed and moved to lean against the headboard, silently signalling the other girl to join her. Satsu closed the door behind her and approached the bed slowly. She smiled at Kennedy a little before she sat down next to her and leaned back against the headboard. Kennedy barely looked at her, her eyes still trained on the window, watching the odd white and puffy cloud roll across the sky.

"Is it always like this?"

"Like what?" Kennedy asked. "You mean with the researching?"

"Yeah. Isn't it a little much? I mean, since we got here two weeks ago we haven't been able to find anything further and Giles said that we couldn't do anything until the women from the coven arrive here."

"It is never too much. It's just how it is. They always need to find out every last detail that they can," Kennedy replied as she finally turned to look at Satsu. "You know, it just occurred to me—"

"Hmm?"

"You're from where—Japan, right?"

"Yes, that's right. Spent most of my life in Tokyo."

"How is it that you speak English so well?"

Satsu laughed, the sound of it making Kennedy shiver in a way she hadn't since her and Willow had begun to drift apart. "I was raised by my Watcher. He was an Englishman."

"Oh. You speak Japanese too, right?"

"Yes, of course," she smiled softly. "You've been with these people for awhile now, haven't you?"

"Yeah."

"And you all came here after Sunnydale? Nobody wanted to branch off, do their own thing?"

"No," Kennedy replied as she shook her head. "I think everyone knew we had to stick together while we could. Look where that got us. Buffy and Faith got sucked into a portal and we can't find a way to get them home. Who knows what kind of hell they're going through, living through every day."

"You were close with them, weren't you?"

"More so with Faith, yeah. She was—_is_—one of my best friends I guess."

"You act as if she's dead."

"Might as well be. It'll be weeks before we know if we can get them back home safely."

"You mustn't be so negative, Kennedy. The stories I've heard of those two...they are strong and they will come home stronger than they've ever been before. Can't you feel it?" Satsu asked softly, smiling a little as Kennedy turned to her with tears in her eyes. "You _can_ still feel them, can't you? Even without the Slayer essence inside you, it's still faintly there, fading away at the edges of your soul."

"I feel something. Don't know what, though."

Kennedy tensed as Satsu reached out and very lightly ran her fingers over her own and slowly began a soft ascent up her bare arm. Kennedy stared into her eyes, seeing the fire and the passion, the desire and the need burning in them, and she grabbed onto her hand, stopping her.

"I'm with Willow."

"I'm sorry," Satsu said quietly as she pulled her hand out of Kennedy's tight hold. "I must have misread the signals you've been sending my way since I arrived here."

"Signals?"

"Flirting," she whispered, a rather lascivious smile curling over her lips as she leaned in closer to her. "A woman has not looked at me quite that way in some time. It's rather refreshing to know that another sees me in that light."

"I'm not a cheater."

"Your relationship with Willow has run its course. I see it, I sense it, and I sense your desire to feel a lover's touch once more."

"Satsu, no," Kennedy sighed as she slid off the bed and walked over to the window. "Any other time, if I wasn't still with Willow, I'd jump at the chance. You are gorgeous, funny, sweet, and very kind. Any woman would love to be with someone like you."

Satsu didn't move from the bed, but she smiled when Kennedy turned to look at her. "I really hope I didn't overstep any boundaries, Kennedy. I would still like for us to become friends," she said, smiling wider when Kennedy just leaned against the wall next to the window and shrugged. "Since Giles has put me in charge of the group while out on patrol, I will make sure that from now on you will not be alone with Carmen. There will not be a repeat of last night."

"She's a bitch."

"She is. She's my ex."

"Damn," Kennedy chuckled as she walked back over to the bed. "Seriously?"

"Yeah. It may be one reason why she's so...hostile around you and the others. Then again," Satsu laughed softly as she patted the bed next to her and waited until Kennedy sat back down. "Then again, she might not want you or Amber or that girl, Dawn, becoming close to me."

"Dawnie? Why would she..." Kennedy burst out laughing. "She thinks Dawnie swings that way? No way! Far as I know, she only drives stick. Besides, why is Dawnie even a threat to her? She's never around. Ever."

"So she _is_ driving Xander's stick?"

"Satsu!" Kennedy groaned as she playfully punched her in the shoulder. "That's just...gross. Xander is like her brother."

"Oh really? And it's normal for a girl to go around kissing someone that she sees as a brother?"

Kennedy raised both her eyebrows until they felt as if they'd shot straight to her hairline. "What?"

"Two days ago, before dinner, I saw them."

"Did you say anything to anyone else?"

"No," Satsu replied softly. "I did not."

"Good. Don't. I don't think anyone else is gonna take that news too lightly and Dawnie might not look like much, but I hear she's a hair puller of the worst kind."

"I believe it," Satsu laughed as she turned to look up at the ceiling. "Tell me about them."

"About Buffy and Faith?" Kennedy asked. Satsu only nodded her head as she kept her eyes on the ceiling. "Buffy is kind of like you, only more of a bitch with a stick up her ass...although I'm pretty sure Faith helped her get rid of it by now."

"They are lovers?"

"Sure, if you want to put it that way. But they're more than that. They are stronger than any of us could ever hope to be. They've seen things we've only heard of, dreamt of. They've been through things that should have killed them and it didn't. They even tried to kill each other at one point. That whole saying 'what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger' really applies to the two of them."

"I have heard many stories, mostly about Buffy. She is quite the legend."

"She is," Kennedy said with a forced smile. "You know what's fucked up? The fact that I know I shouldn't worry about them, but I do. It's eating me up inside. I even tried to talk to Will, but she doesn't want to listen."

"I'll listen," Satsu said as she reached for her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze before she let go. "I cannot provide you with any answers, but I'll lend an ear and words that will reassure you of their fate."

"Thank you."

Satsu just nodded and they both turned to look up at the ceiling, listening as an argument broke out downstairs between Carmen and Willow. They shifted further apart when they heard the soft knock on the door. Before either of them could answer, Andrew opened the door slowly and slipped inside.

"Can I come and hide out in here for a little while? I really hate it when anyone in this house starts fighting like that."

"Sure, Andy," Kennedy smiled as she moved over closer to Satsu and motioned for him to come sit on the bed next to her. "It's getting bad down there, isn't it?"

"I came up here, didn't I?"

"How bad?" Satsu asked as she looked over Kennedy at him. "Do I need to go down there and break them apart?"

"No, it's not that bad. I don't think. Carmen is just—"

"Talking shit out of her ass again?" Kennedy cut in, smirking when Andrew just laughed. "Satsu, you might want to go down there, make sure things don't get out of hand. There's no way in hell I'm gonna try to come between those two even if it involves my girlfriend. Every time I look at Carmen I just want to—"

"Smack her?" Satsu finished for her before she could even finish herself. "I know the feeling. All too well, may I add."

Andrew laughed uncomfortably, obviously not getting the bigger picture since he did not know that Satsu and Carmen had been together before. They sat there in silence, none of them moving until they heard a crash coming from the kitchen. Kennedy was the first one down the stairs and found herself pulling Willow away from a very angry, red-faced Carmen who was being held back by Xander, just barely.

"What the hell is going on?" Kennedy demanded as she pulled Willow out into the hallway. "Will, what the hell?"

"I can't stand that bitch," she said through clenched teeth, the anger in her scaring Kennedy since she'd never seen her like that before. "She gets on every last nerve I have left! I want her out of this house! You hear that, Giles, I want her out!"

"Calm down, baby," Kennedy said softly as she wrapped her arms around her and gently stroked her back. "Just breathe, baby."

"She thinks she knows more than we actually know! It's infuriating! She shouldn't even be allowed to help us with the research when all she does is criticize the way we do things around here!"

"Baby," Kennedy sighed as she took a step back and gently cupped Willow's face in her hands. "Don't let her get to you like this. This is exactly what she's trying to do to you, get you angry just to see some of that fiery passion we all know is inside of you."

"I know. That's exactly what Giles said to me earlier. I don't know why...I think it's the stress of not being able to find a way to get Buffy and Faith home that's getting to me. I haven't been able to sleep an entire night since they..."

"I know, baby, I know. Come on," Kennedy said as she grabbed onto her hand and headed for the front door. "We'll go for a walk and cool off, okay?"

Willow took in a few shaky breaths, but didn't resist as Kennedy led her out of the house, never letting go of her hand out of fear Willow would try to go back inside and do or say something she'd regret later. No matter where their relationship stood at the moment, Kennedy knew she could get through to her, calm her down. The sun was hot and the onset of a coming heat wave could almost be tasted in the warm, humid air. They came to a stop at the park just down the street and Willow led the way over to a bench under the shade of the trees where she sat down.

The chaos in the streets had calmed down a lot in the last week. People were becoming accustomed to the rapid changes the entire world had gone through. It still wasn't entirely safe to be outside alone, though, since nobody knew when the next round would erupt, but police in the city had gotten things under control. No longer were there gunshots being heard, anguished cries from people being severely beaten, houses and stores being looted. Every day life was starting to get back to normal, or at least as normal as it could get in this kind of a situation. Kennedy wasn't too worried about running into any problems and apparently neither were the handful of children in the park with their parents. There was an eerie sense of calm that just settled over the city and she wished she had that same feeling when it came to her and Willow.

"Every day we find out a little more," Willow said quietly as Kennedy sat down next to her. "Every day we get one more answer, but it's never enough. I can't even do the spell on the scythe..."

"It doesn't matter about the scythe, Will. We need to focus on getting Buffy and Faith back home."

"I know," she sighed as she leaned forward and buried her face in her hands. "I feel so helpless! I should be able to just," she snapped her fingers as she sat back, "bring them home just like that. Whatever happened when that reversal spell...I think I lost some of my power, Kenny."

"No, you didn't. You are a Goddess, Will. Goddesses never lose their power, they only stop believing in themselves and that's exactly what you've been doing since the moment Buffy and Faith were taken from all of us and this world."

"It happened for a reason," she said softly as she watched a handful of young children run across the playground. "We don't know why yet, but everything always happens for a reason. They were meant to go wherever they are, to that world between worlds. No matter what we did, they still would have been sucked there. Giles thinks the Powers that Be are behind this. They always are."

"What'll happen when we bring them back?"

"I don't know."

Kennedy sighed as she picked at the edge of her shorts mindlessly. She knew they were all worried about the state of mind that Buffy and Faith would be in once they were brought home. Nobody knew how being stuck in that world between worlds, the almost Hell dimension, would affect them in the long run.

"Kenny, what's happening to us?"

"What do you mean?"

"We're...drifting apart. We have been since we got here."

"I know."

"I don't know why or how," Willow said softly, choking up as she held back the tears as best she could. "I love you. You know that, right?"

"I know. I love you too. It's just been stressful with everything that's happened since we got here and we're turning against each other instead of coming together. At least Xander and Dawn—"

"At least what?" Willow asked, her voice a little too loud and a few of the parents of the children that ran throughout the park looked over at them. "What are you talking about?"

"It's nothing."

"It doesn't sound like nothing! You know you are just as shitty a liar as Faith is sometimes."

"Satsu and I were talking and she told me a few things."

"Like what?"

"That she saw Xand and Dawn together...kissing."

Willow's eyes went wide in shock, then she burst out laughing as she grabbed onto Kennedy's arm. "Are you trying to make this whole situation lighter with a joke about Dawnie and Xander hooking up? Because I got to tell you," she gasped as she tried to stop laughing to catch her breath, "it's definitely working."

"It isn't a joke, Will. Haven't you seen how close they've been in the last couple of weeks? Tragedy always brings people together in the weirdest ways."

"Oh," Willow gulped as she wiped away the tears that streaked her cheeks. "Oh! I am so going to kill Xander for putting the moves on Dawnie! She's too young! She's only seventeen!"

"What's age got to do with it?"

"There is that and then there's the fact that Xander looks at Dawnie like a sister!"

"Maybe not anymore," Kennedy said under her breath. "Will, would it really matter if something did happen between them? I mean, he's mourning Anya's death and they are both trying to deal with Buffy and Faith being gone just like the rest of us. Shouldn't we be happy that the two of them are finding some kind of solace with each other?"

"Buffy would kill him."

"You think so?"

"Yes...no…I don't know. She wouldn't like it! It's Xander and Dawnie! That's just…gross," Willow said as she shuddered. "Maybe you are right, Kenny. Maybe we _should_ be happy that they've found solace with each other just as long as that's all they've found!"

"You think they're..." Kennedy chuckled as she trailed off at Willow's glare. "Forget it. Let's just talk about something else."

"Anything else."

"The women that are coming, the ones from the coven," Kennedy said as she looked over at her, "do you really think they'll be able to help you and Giles bring them home safely?"

"Yes, they will, but it's going to take some time. Believe me when I say that none of us are happy with how much time it's possibly going to take, but we can't...we can't screw this up. We need to locate the portal and find a way to...reach in and pull them out without getting ourselves stuck there. This is why I can't do this alone."

"I know. I just hate waiting."

"We all do."

"You ever think of what'll happen if we can't—"

"Don't! How can you think that way even for a second? We can't think that way, Kenny. We're _going_ to get them out of there and we are _going_ to bring them home. We'll do whatever it takes, however long it takes. We can't just give up hope and give up on them. It's Buffy and it's Faith."

Kennedy knew exactly what Willow was getting at and she knew that they couldn't give up or lose hope for even a second. Nothing good ever came from thinking that way, but refusing to acknowledge that their efforts might fail wasn't any better. Kennedy was a realist, something the rest of them didn't embrace; the price of failure was simply too high for them to contemplate. She was glad for Satsu, who seemed to have a similar realistic outlook, even if some of her other views on things were completely different from Kennedy's own.

She wanted things to be okay between her and Willow again. She wanted to look into Willow's eyes and see the love she'd finally received from her shortly before the fight against the First. She wanted to spend their nights lying in bed, holding her, basking in the afterglow after making love for hours on an end. She wanted the petty fights to stop, she wanted the lack of interest that had started to become a permanent fixture between them to be gone completely, and she wanted to stop having feelings for Satsu. She knew how wrong it was to look at another woman the way she should only look at the woman she was in love with.

"What else have you found out?"

"Not much," Willow replied quietly. "We'll know more when the women from the coven get here, but until then we're pretty much going on next to nothing."

"I haven't been able to see them again, not since before Satsu, Amber, and Carmen got here. I keep trying. I can still kind of feel them, you know? But it's not enough. I need to know they are okay. Those flashes I kept seeing, they kept me from thinking they...had died."

"They are _not_ dead."

"I know they aren't dead, Will. Wait, how do you know that?"

"Because I can feel them too. You don't think I wasn't affected by the spell I used on the scythe? You think I couldn't feel you, them, or every other girl in the world who were once potentials? I could feel all of you and I still can, just a little. We're all connected one way or another now and that is one thing that will go away only in death—and there will be a void when that happens that you'll never be able to fill ever again."

"You never told me this before."

"There was never the right time to tell you this before now," Willow replied, turning to her as she took both her hands in her own. "Kenny, I think it's harder for us now because of _how_ I can feel you and everyone else. I didn't want this to change things between us. I was just starting to..."

"Starting to what, Will?"

"Really starting to fall in love with you, loving you the way I love Tara. I always thought I'd never be able to love anyone the way I love Tara, but I was wrong and you came into my life when I wasn't even looking for anyone and you...you showed me that it's possible to love another as deeply and strongly as I love—loved Tara."

"You'll always love her more," Kennedy whispered, smiling a little as she let go of Willow's hands and reached up to wipe away her tears as they fell. "I know that you'll always love her more and that's something that nobody will ever be able to touch. Not even me. But you made room in your heart to love me and that's all that matters. You did what you thought was impossible."

She planted a light kiss on her lips, pulling back and smiling at the dazed look on Willow's face. They sat there for a while staring at one another under the shade of the tree before they got up and headed back to the house, taking their time and acting as if the world had slowed down just a little to allow them that moment of peace between them, that moment of the calm before the storm. Kennedy wondered how their conversation had bounced back and forth the way it had without them erupting into one of their petty, useless arguments as they had in the last few weeks. Maybe things were changing; maybe she was starting to look at her relationship with Willow differently now that she was starting to have feelings for Satsu. Whatever it was, she hoped she figured it out.

They shared a quick kiss just outside the front door before walking into the unknown inside the house. Carmen and Satsu were alone in the living room, talking quietly to one another. Kennedy just led Willow into the kitchen and sat her down at the table. Giles was busy going through the mountain of books that had collected on the table over the last week and a half and he barely took notice of the two of them as Kennedy pulled her chair close to Willow and sat down.

"I trust you've calmed down?" Giles asked as he looked over at Willow. "It is not to happen again between you two, understood?"

"Yes," Willow nodded, lowering her eyes at the scowl Giles sent her way. "I still want her out of the house, Giles. She's done nothing but cause a rift between all of us."

"We need her here, Willow, and unfortunately whatever you two have against one another is going to have to be laid to rest. We have much more important things to deal with."

Kennedy left the two of them alone to talk and stood in the hallway near the living room, trying to overhear Satsu and Carmen. She heard nothing and figured the coast was clear, so she walked in to find Satsu sitting on the couch alone. Kennedy took in a deep breath, knowing she should walk away. Instead she sat down next to her, picked up the remote for the TV, and flipped it on. She caught Satsu staring at her and she tried to ignore her as she flipped through the channels on the TV, trying to find something to take her mind off of everything.

By the fifth time she caught Satsu staring at her, she turned to her, wondering what to say to her when that feeling of something deep rippled through her. There was something between the two of them—she could feel it with every breath she took and it was starting to scare her since she didn't know quite what to do about it. She wasn't ready to let go of Willow, especially not after what Willow had told her in the park. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt her and she knew that if these feelings for Satsu continued to develop, in the end Willow would be hurt either way.

They weren't alone for much longer as Xander came in from working out in the backyard and sat himself down on the couch next to Kennedy, letting out a long, exaggerated sigh of exhaustion as he grabbed the remote from her hand. Pretty soon everyone was sitting there in the living room with them and it felt suffocating to the point where Kennedy just up and left, walking out to the backyard to sit under the tree, chain smoking until her throat felt raw.

Everyone was going through changes, most of which she suspected they all couldn't quite see yet. Kennedy hated the changes they were all going through and she couldn't help but think that things wouldn't be changing this way if Buffy and Faith were here. Maybe she was wrong about that too; change was inevitable especially when it came to living on a Hellmouth. That much she'd learned from being a part of that family. Next to Faith, Kennedy had probably changed the most. Faith's changes might seem sporadic to the unobservant eye, but she knew that the woman had actually undergone some very fundamental shifts.

She saw the flash then, seeing Faith sitting upon a rooftop where the sky overhead was glowing orange and the ground shifted beneath her. She could almost feel the sweltering heat along with everything else and couldn't imagine how they could stand it in a place like that. Faith looked exhausted and Kennedy reached out, almost feeling as if she could reach out to her and pull her home. When she tried, however, it faded away quickly and she felt like crying, she felt like screaming out, wondering if the Powers that Be would hear her or not.

She tried to convince herself that in the end everything would work out. They'd get Buffy and Faith back home safely and life would go on as it was supposed to. She could feel the changes that were now happening along with the ones that would happen in the weeks, months, and years that would follow. Not all the changes would be good. There was a lot of bad in the mix and a lot of anguish and heartbreak and grief. Aside from the flashes she'd gotten of seeing where Buffy and Faith were, she was getting visions of the future that scared her, that made her want to curl up in a dark corner and shut herself away from the world. Those were visions she would never allow past her lips for fear if she spoke them aloud, they really would come true.

"Hey," Willow said softly as she sat down next to her. "Thinking?"

"Yeah," Kennedy nodded. "Everything okay inside?"

"Giles told me he talked to one of the women from the coven earlier while we were out. They'll be here in a couple of days."

"How many are coming?"

"Half the coven. Eleven of them."

"And they are staying here?"

"No," Willow laughed softly. "They are staying in a hotel. I don't think Giles is crazy enough to try to find room in this house for all of them. There's barely enough room now and when Buffy and Faith come back...well, no second guesses on where they'll end up."

"At Faith's place."

"Yeah. Without a doubt. I know that spending time where they are, being alone together all the time, it's going to be hard for them to transition back into the way things are here."

"Someone is coming back with them, a woman," Kennedy said softly as she stared at the ground in front of her and picked at the long blades of grass by her legs. "Don't ask me how I know. I just do."

"I know. I...I saw it one night, in my dreams. I wasn't sure whether it was my mind playing tricks on me or not. I guess that confirms that maybe we really _are_ all connected more than we thought and on a much deeper level."

"What does it all mean? This woman? She's human, isn't she?"

"I think so," Willow nodded. "I guess we'll find out once we bring them home, won't we?"

"Are you scared?"

"More than anything."

"Me too, Will. I think we're all scared."

"I keep thinking," she sighed as she looked over at Kennedy with tears in her eyes. "I keep thinking about how I could have stopped this. I know, I was never meant to stop it, but I can't help but think what if I could've stopped it. What would have happened then? What if we stopped Julie and the others from opening the Hellmouth, even from breaking that barrier spell that caused everything to fall apart?"

"We'll never know, Will. Maybe it's better that way? Maybe its better that everything happened like this? Maybe its better we're not all Slayers. Giles even said—"

"That this way the Slayer line can hopefully resume as it has for centuries. There's no way to tell if it will or not. Oh Kenny, I hate this. I just want everything back to the way it was."

"We all do," Kennedy whispered as she slid her arm around Willow and pulled her close. "We all want everything back to the way it was before. Hell, I'd give anything to go back to that day, do it all different if I could. I would've been down there with them instead of staying outside like I did."

"You wouldn't have been sucked into the portal with them, Kennedy. You lost your essence before that happened."

"I know."

"I'm going to get it back," Willow said as she looked over at her and forced a smile. "I will do anything to get it back, Kenny. Even if we do bring Buffy and Faith back, they can't do this on their own. Giles and I were talking and he wants...he wants to set up teams all over the world."

Kennedy remembered that day Giles was talking about doing just that if they could fix the reversal spell and reactivate all the potentials into Slayers once again. There hadn't been much hope then and there still wasn't, really. Kennedy was trying to get it back, trying to believe that Willow and the women from the coven would be able to fix everything. She wanted to be a Slayer again; she wanted to feel like she had a real purpose in life again. Being just herself wasn't enough. It never would be enough, not after she'd had a taste of what having real strength and power was like.

Satsu came out to join them, bringing them each a cup of coffee. She took a spot near them and laid back on the grass staring up at the sky, looking very lost in her own thoughts. Kennedy couldn't stop herself from staring at her. Everything about Satsu completely mesmerized her. She didn't even care that Willow saw her staring at her either. In her books, it never hurt to look. Looking wasn't classified as cheating and neither was fantasizing what it'd be like to be with them, how much better the sex could be compared to the way she was used to it being. Willow was a soft, passionate lover, and Kennedy liked it hard, fast, and rough at times. Despite Satsu's soft-spoken nature and the grace she carried herself with, she'd bet that she liked it rough more than she liked it gentle.

Willow and Satsu started talking quietly about plans for that afternoon. Satsu was desperately trying to fit in with all of them, almost as if she was trying to become a part of their close-knit family. Andrew hadn't been able to get into the fold even though he lived there, but Kennedy always just assumed it was because it was Andrew and not because they wouldn't welcome him with open arms. If it was up to her—and she knew it wasn't—she'd let Satsu into the fold, maybe even Amber, and kick Carmen out of the house and their lives in the process.

"Are you coming?" Willow asked as she and Satsu got up from the ground.

"Coming where?"

"We're going to check out Henry's bar, see what's happened to it since he's been gone. None of us have checked it out," Willow replied. "Are you coming?"

"Why not? It isn't like I have anything better to do," she said with a forced smile as she stood up, grabbed her nearly forgotten cup of coffee and followed the two of them into the house. "Xand, you coming with us?" She asked when they walked inside.

"Coming where?"

"Henry's old bar."

"Oh, you guys didn't hear?" Xander asked, sighing as they all shook their head no. "Burnt to the ground a few days ago. Some of his customers of the demon variety weren't very pleased he disappeared and decided to retaliate against him."

"Nobody knows he's dead and gone, do they?" Kennedy asked as she poured her cold coffee down the sink. "Are you sure it's better that nobody knows?"

"It is," Giles cut in from where he still sat at the kitchen table. "The longer they are believed to have disappeared rather than being 'dusted', as it were, the easier our dealing with those who were close to that family will be. We have no idea what might happen if word got out about their true nature. I imagine not many knew just what they were, not even some of Henry's loyal customers."

They all agreed with him, knowing that there really was no way of knowing how those who were loyal to Henry, to Julie, and to Sam would react if they found out the truth. But the truth couldn't be hidden forever and somehow, someday it would get around. Kennedy's thoughts echoed those of the others—_I hope to hell we're ready for it when it does happen._


	26. Chapter 26

Faith had been lying on the mattress up in the loft since Buffy carried her there. She drifted in and out of sleep, never able to keep her eyes open for very long. Her energy felt as if it were draining with every breath that she took and only when Buffy was near her did she feel stronger. All she wanted was to go home and with every minute that passed, she was starting to let that hopelessness take over. She couldn't even look at Jackie anymore. There were just too many emotions that hit her, blindsided her already wounded soul. Just being there, trapped in a world between worlds, a dimension that might as well be Hell itself, was pulling her apart inside and nothing Buffy did or said would pull her out of it.

In the short intermissions from her dreams, Buffy would come to her with water and with soup, trying to no avail to get her to drink and eat to keep up her strength. By the fifth time, Faith finally gave in, almost too weak to feed herself. She saw the same hopelessness she felt in Buffy's eyes and it made her look away in shame. Buffy just moved closer to her and placed the bowl of warm potato soup on the floor.

"Come on, Faith. You can't do this to yourself. I don't know if I can be strong enough for both of us," Buffy whispered as she laid down next to her and ran her fingers over her tearstained cheeks. "You haven't said a word to me in what feels like days. I hate this."

"Sorry," Faith muttered as she closed her eyes, not feeling strong enough to turn away from Buffy.

"I miss you," she said softly, her lips barely brushing up against Faith's as she spoke. "I miss the way you'd kiss me, the way your eyes would light up whenever you smiled. I miss your touch," she sighed as she trailed her fingertips down Faith's arm and slipped her hand into hers. "I miss the way you'd hold me and the way you'd whisper into my ear all those naughty things you wanted to do to me next."

Faith let a small smile slip out as Buffy took her hand and placed it on her hip, encouraging her to touch, to hold. "You miss the naughty things?"

"Yeah," Buffy smiled as she kissed her lightly before she opened her eyes to look at her. "Ever since we've been here, I've become so attached to you in ways I've never been attached to anyone before. Just one look now and I can see the depths of your soul and I can feel it reaching out for mine. It is yours, you know."

"What is?"

"My soul, my heart," she sighed as Faith pulled her closer, holding her. "I never thought I could give myself to someone else, much less you, but its different now. Everything is different."

"You trust me with your heart?"

"I really do."

"What changed, B? You never used to trust anyone so easy, 'specially me."

"Can we not talk about this?" Buffy asked, pouting when Faith only responded with a frown. "I honestly don't know what changed. I keep asking myself that and none of the answers are ever the same. I don't want to keep asking myself those questions anymore either. I just want to be with you. Is that too much to ask for?"

Faith shook her head no. "Not too much to ask for, B. Sometimes I just like to ask questions I know there ain't no answers to."

"Come on," Buffy said with a smile as she helped her sit back up. "You are losing your strength, Faith. You need to eat. It doesn't taste all that bad this time."

"Right. This?" Faith said as she took a deep breath. "I've felt worse than this before."

"Well nobody should—"

"Buffy? I...never mind."

"You were trying to tell me something you weren't comfortable telling me before, weren't you?"

"Yeah."

"And I ruined it, didn't I?"

"Not like that's been the first time," Faith said, letting out a weak laugh as she reached for the bowl on the floor. "I was sayin' I've gone a lot longer than this without a solid meal in my stomach. Feelin' this weak's not the worst I ever felt before. Ain't nothin' I can't deal with."

"When we get home, I'm gonna cook you a nice big dinner," Buffy smiled as she watched Faith take a tentative sip of her soup. "I'll spend all day in the kitchen if I have to."

"You can cook?"

"A little bit, yeah."

"And what'll be for dessert, B?" Faith asked, the first playful smile in what felt like weeks slipping out as Buffy shrugged and smiled shyly. "You?"

"There's the Faith I've been missing lately," Buffy chuckled softly as she took the now empty bowl away from her. "Feeling any better now?"

"Yeah, but you didn't answer my question," she smirked as she laid back down and took in a deep breath as she waited for Buffy to answer. "I get a little B for dessert? Y'know, a little whipped cream, chocolate syrup...dripped all over your body..."

"I think you are _definitely_ feeling a lot better than you did a few minutes ago," she said, laughing uneasily as she moved to lie down next to her again. "We should get some sleep while we can."

"Think of how...erotic it'd be," Faith whispered into her ear as she trailed her fingers over Buffy's stomach, ignoring her as visions of whipped cream and chocolate syrup poured all over Buffy's body filled her mind. "I'd take my time licking it off, teasin' ya 'til you're about ready to pop and all I'd have done was lick it off of you, barely touching you like I am now. And you're right, B. I'm _definitely_ feeling better now."

"You are feeling horny now," Buffy laughed as she stopped Faith's hand from roaming under her shirt. "I'm serious, Faith. We need to sleep while we can right now. Those shifts are becoming more frequent and you heard what Jackie said during the last one—"

"I don't give a flyin' fuck what she said, B."

"She's your mother."

"Blood-relation only. My _mother_ was a deadbeat drunk who let child services take me away from her without even fighting for me. She didn't care, not for a second, when they came to the apartment and dragged me out of there."

"That wasn't your real mother, Faith."

"Yeah, but she was the only one there until she wasn't. God, what a fuckin' way to ruin the mood, huh?" Faith scoffed as she rolled away from Buffy slowly, still feeling a little weak, but not as bad as before. She sighed as Buffy slipped an arm around her and gently kissed the back of her neck.

"So…" Buffy whispered into Faith's ear as her fingers travelled over the other Slayer's stomach. "I want to hear more about me being dessert," the blonde continued, digits pausing at the hem of the shirt.

"I know what you're tryin' to do, B."

"Is it working?"

"No."

She fought off the smile even though Buffy couldn't see her face. She couldn't let her mood shift for very long with Buffy there so close to her. It only shifted dramatically when she was left alone and that in itself felt dangerous to her. She was becoming dependent on Buffy a little too much and rather than fight it she'd been letting it take her over completely. She'd never been dependent on anyone in her whole life, always telling herself she was strong enough to look out for herself above all others. Buffy had been right about one thing. Everything _was_ different now.

She tried not to slip back into the state of mind she was in before. She tried just to focus on the feel of Buffy's soft breath against her neck and her warm hand gently caressing her stomach with every breath they took together. The memories, her thoughts, every emotion she'd ever felt was going through her all over again in the last few hours, days—however long it'd been. While she dreamt, she could almost feel the edges of their world and this one blurring together and someone reaching out for her, trying to get her to listen. All she ever heard was breathy whispers, never able to make out the words.

"Girls?" Jackie called out from the bottom of the stairs. "Something is happening."

Faith and Buffy both got up quickly and ran down the stairs. They found Jackie standing by the door staring outside. She stepped to the side so they could walk out and what they saw felt like a long lost memory. Above the sky was blue, the sun was shining and the heat was no longer borderline unbearable.

"What the...hell?" Faith asked as she stepped outside and took in a deep breath of the surprisingly fresh air. "This ain't normal, is it?"

"Never happened before," Jackie said slowly as she stared up at the sky. "I almost forgot what it looked like. The sky," she whispered as she pointed up. "Henry told me this could happen when someone tried to reach into this world from another."

"Willow?" Faith asked as she turned to Buffy. "You think it's her, B?"

"Maybe," she shrugged in reply as she stepped outside and inhaled deeply. "Whatever it is, it's changing everything."

"It's not like the sky in the place I took you," Jackie muttered under her breath as she stayed in the doorway almost as if she was afraid to step outside. "It's almost real. Too real. Have we gone home?"

"No, Jackie. We're still here," Buffy said softly as she went back and led her outside slowly.

It hurt Faith to see Jackie so out of it, so lost and confused. It reminded her too much of herself and she walked off alone, leaning against the side of the building out of the bright sun. Buffy came over to her and stood in front of her, trying to catch her eye to no avail.

"What's wrong?"

"It's bright," Faith said under her breath. "Blinding almost."

"Okay, you are starting to sound a little too much like her," Buffy chuckled as she stood next to her and leaned against the wall. "We're going home soon."

"How do you know that?"

"I can feel it. Can't you?"

"Feel what?"

"Like something is trying to reach in and pull us out," Buffy said as she let out a soft sigh. "And can I just say how happy I am that I can actually just...breathe now?"

"Funny how quick you adapt to whatever environment you're stuck in, ain't it?" Faith said bitterly as she pushed herself off the wall, peering around to look at Jackie as she stood there near the door and stared up at the sky looking deliriously happy. "I'm goin' back in."

"Faith..."

"Don't, B."

Buffy didn't listen, instead grabbing Faith and shoving her hard against the wall. "Can you drop the attitude, Faith? You know I hate being here as much as you do. I'm just trying to..."

"Trying to what?"

"Survive," she said firmly but softly. "Your mood swings are really a pain in the ass, too."

"Right," Faith chuckled dryly, unable to find enough strength in her to push Buffy away. "B, back off, will ya?"

"No."

"B, I'm really in no fuckin' mood to fuck around right now. What if all this is just...somethin' out there fucking with us?"

"That was a whole lot of fucks in one sentence," Buffy chuckled as she tried to keep things light between them and tried to keep Faith from shifting into one of her darker, depressive moods. Faith gave up then and sighed as she shook her head and slid her hands over Buffy's waist. "Do you really think if something out there is fucking with us that they would send fresh air and sunshine?"

"Probably not."

"And look on the bright side, literally," Buffy said as she leaned over to look at Jackie. "Your mother—Jackie is really happy about this. Don't you think we should be too?"

"She's a fucking loony bird, B. Anything that's fuckin' bright 'n shiny makes her happy."

Faith suddenly felt like she was punched in the gut as she realized how she was speaking about the woman who was her mother. Buffy didn't look very happy with her for saying that either and she half expected Buffy to slap her across the face for being so cruel. She was still having mixed feelings with how to approach the whole subject of her mother being Jackie. She couldn't look the woman in the eye; she couldn't think of a single word to say to her even though she had a million questions she wanted to ask. She knew that most of her questions would never be answered, not with the state of mind that Jackie was in.

"I'm so tired of this place, Buffy. It feels like its draining me and turning me into someone I don't wanna be."

"I know."

"No, you don't know," she groaned as she found a bit of strength to push Buffy away from her. "I'm starting to get what the whole ghosts of the past bullshit is about. It was this place and now that we're here, it's really fucking with us. Thought for sure maybe it was a onetime occurrence since it didn't fucking happen again."

"Fight it, fight them, and fight whatever is inside of you, Faith. You might be weak physically, but deep down inside you are strong. You want to know how I know that? Because I feel it. I've always felt it."

"Whatever. Not up for some heart-to-heart, soul-searching bullshit talk right now."

She saw the punch coming just a split second before she felt it. It woke something up inside of her, something she'd buried before. It was the passion that came along with being a Slayer and it burned through her, creating an endless bound of energy she thought she would never get back so soon. She retaliated, throwing a hard punch at Buffy, slightly surprised she ducked out of the way fast enough. She smirked as Buffy stood there, cockily raising an eyebrow at her as they stared each other down.

They began to circle each other slowly, moving out into the open where Jackie still stood staring up at the sky. Faith cracked her neck before she made the first move, a perfectly timed roundhouse kick that sent Buffy flying across the open space. Faith was right by her, pulling her up by the front of her shirt and trying to duck out the way as Buffy's fist connected with her jaw once again in a backhanded punch. The punches they continued to exchange along with the kicks were hard, but not hard enough to hurt them too badly.

"Come on, baby," Faith snickered as she spit out a mouthful of blood. "You hit like a girl, y'know that? Show me what ya really got."

"Oh, we're going all out, are we?"

"Bring it on."

Buffy sent her stumbling back with a side kick square to the chest, nearly knocking the wind out of her. She was on Faith in an instant, her punches and jabs too quick for her to block all of them. Faith finally got the upper hand and pinned Buffy up against the wall, grinning as they both struggled to catch their breath. Faith tilted her head to the side, searching Buffy's eyes, seeing if she wanted to keep this going. They needed this—they'd needed it weeks ago, actually, but in Faith's mind it was never too late to work out the tension of the non-sexual variety.

Out of the corner of her eye she could see Jackie watching them, shaking in fear and confusion as she tried to figure out what was going on between them and why they were fighting. She took her full attention off of Buffy for that fraction of a second too long and doubled over in pain as Buffy raised her knee into her gut. She swept Buffy's feet from under her and they both toppled to the ground, laughing as Faith grabbed a hold of Buffy and kept her on top of her.

"Ya finished yet, B?"

"Just getting started," she breathed heavily as she reached up and wiped away the small trickle of blood from the corner of Faith's mouth. "Did I hurt you?"

"Nah," Faith smiled, feeling as if she had new life, new energy breathed into her over that short fight. "Shit."

"What?" Buffy asked before following Faith's gaze to a very shocked Jackie. "Oh."

"Why are you fighting?" Jackie asked, cautiously approaching them as they stood up.

"We were just fuckin' around," Faith said as she used her shirt to get rid of the rest of the blood trickling from the corner of her mouth. "Its okay, Jackie. This is normal shit between me and B."

"Normal? Fighting like _that_ is normal?"

"Coulda been worse," Faith shrugged. "Actually, it has been worse. That was nothing."

"The way you two move…," Jackie said in awe as she stood there and stared at them. "I guess you weren't joking when you told me you were Slayers."

Faith shrugged again as she headed back inside, the bright sunlight beginning to give her a headache. That was her excuse, trying to convince herself that the blows to the head she'd received from Buffy weren't the cause of said headache. Her body was aching for more and she knew it would have been full out between them and then some if Jackie hadn't been there watching them. She grabbed the smaller jug of water off the floor and poured some in the glass that was sitting on the table. She listened as Buffy tried to explain to Jackie why they fought the way they did—that they weren't fighting because they were angry, they were fighting to get out the tension between them.

Faith couldn't stand to overhear that conversation, so she took the glass of water with her and headed up to the loft. It was a lot cooler inside now and she stripped out of her sweaty clothes and laid down on the mattress, watching the dust that shifted catch in the few beams of sunlight that shone through the boarded up window. She was laying on her side with her back turned when Buffy came up, so she could only hear as she stripped out of her own clothes and laid down behind her.

"Everything cool with Jackie?"

"Yeah, I think so. Still not too sure if she gets the whole Buffy and Faith history I tried to lay out for her in a nutshell down there."

"It's a pretty heavy history, B. Can't expect someone to just get it and understand it when ya try to explain it in a nutshell," Faith said softly as she turned so she was facing Buffy. "Shit, I can't help but wonder how fuckin' long we've been here for. Doesn't feel like too long, but ya heard what Jackie said before about how time isn't the same here."

"It isn't like time back home. Every dimension is different. God, I hope like a hundred years haven't passed. I don't think I could handle going back home to find everyone got old and died."

"I'm kinda hopin' we're not stuck _here_ for what feels like a hundred years and by the time Willow gets us outta here we're all old and wrinkly with saggy tits and god knows what else and then find out it's only been a couple days."

"Nice visual, Faith," Buffy laughed as she poked her in the stomach lightly before sliding her arm around her and pulling her in close. "That's all I want, though, sometimes."

"Saggy tits?"

"Shut up," Buffy laughed harder as she slid her hand down to pinch Faith's ass to try to get her to stop laughing too. "No, I want to grow old. I want to live a full life. Always thought before when I died that I was finished, but things changed and it wasn't until we came here that I realized my life is so far from being finished. It's far from being over. It's just beginning."

Faith didn't know what to say to that and figured not saying anything at all was the best way to go. She didn't want her mood to shift drastically again and all she wanted was a moment with Buffy where everything else just slipped away and all she felt and saw was her. She wanted to let Buffy be the one to break the silence between them and she knew if she gave it a minute, she'd do just that and keep on talking. It never failed to amaze her just how easy it was for them to fall into any random conversation now. It felt like the most natural thing in the world just to lay there together, talking about almost anything and everything as if it was something that they'd always done together. It had gotten easy, almost effortless, and she knew it would get even easier over time.

"Outside, when we got into it," Buffy whispered as her hands traced random patterns over Faith's lower back, "I felt the power just turn on inside of us. It feels like I've gone too long without feeling that way."

"Sure have. Haven't had a chance to kick some ass since we've been here."

"Which got me to thinking," Buffy continued, causing Faith to pout just a little since she knew what was coming next. "We should really start using whatever time we do have to keep training. Just because we're stuck here doesn't mean we can slack. We can't afford to fall behind when we don't even know what could be waiting for us by the time we do get back home."

"Maybe all the baddies will take a fuckin' year off and decide the whole 'end of the world' bullshit is just not worth it anymore. Too much to ask for, ain't it?"

"A little too much to ask for, yeah," Buffy nodded then let out a soft sigh. "It would be nice, though, finally getting a break like that. Even a month. A month isn't too much to ask for, is it?"

"If we had a month, what'd you do with the time off?"

"I don't know. I've never given myself the luxury of thinking of that because I know it's never going to happen. What would you do?"

"Take Xander up on that offer to go camping. Nothin' beats sittin' around a fire, drinkin' beer and shootin' shit with friends in the middle of the woods somewhere."

"I nearly forgot about you two talking about that," Buffy said softly. "So much has happened since that night."

Buffy shivered slightly, the drastic change in temperature having started to affect both of them. Faith reached for the sheet and draped it over them, smiling at Buffy as she held her close and tried to keep her warm despite the chills running through her own body. She found it harder and harder to sleep without Buffy there with her and she smiled contentedly as she closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. She'd never be able to go back to the way things had been once they got home. She knew she'd never be able to be apart from Buffy for too long.

She wasn't sure how long she'd been sleeping for, but when she emerged from a dreamless sleep it was to Buffy lightly running her fingers over her stomach and tracing over the scar near her bellybutton. The sheets were thrown off and she felt a little cold as she looked down at Buffy's hand. She wanted to stop her, tell her it was done and over with. How she knew Buffy was thinking of that night, she wasn't so sure other than that subtle little feeling she had. She decided not to bring up that part of their past, knowing there'd be plenty of time to talk about those things in the future. Now was not the time for that talk. She wasn't ready for that talk.

She listened for a minute and heard the soft snores coming from Jackie down in her room. The sun was still out and streaming through the gaps in the boards over the window. She looked over at Buffy, watching as the sunlight streaked over her face and body. It never failed to amaze her how beautiful Buffy was to her. She'd always thought Buffy was beautiful, but now she saw a different kind of beauty in her whenever she laid her eyes upon her. Nobody had ever filled her the way Buffy did, nobody had ever made her feel so much, and nobody had ever made love seem very possible instead of the impossibility it had always been before.

The words 'I love you' were whispered almost silently from her lips as Buffy turned to look at her, smiling as she leaned in for a kiss. If someone told her when she came back to Sunnydale that she'd end up with Buffy like this, that she'd be in love with her and that Buffy would feel the same, she would've laughed in their faces and called them crazy. Now she couldn't imagine it being any other way and she wondered how she'd gone through so much of her life without her, without knowing what it was like to be in love with someone like her and without knowing what it felt like to be loved right back.

"Always thinking," Buffy chuckled softly as she swept her hand up Faith's back slowly. "You're thinking about me, aren't you?"

"Mm-hmm."

"What are you thinking about?"

"How...amazing this feels," she whispered, smiling shyly as Buffy's eyes lit up in the way that made her heart melt. "Thinkin' and wondering how I went so long without knowing how this felt. Don't even fuckin' care how fast things went for us. All I know is," she smiled again as she laid a gentle kiss upon her lips and pulled back, "I wouldn't trade any of this for the world."

"You can be so sweet sometimes," Buffy smiled as she ran her hand up to Faith's neck and twirled a few strands of her hair around her fingers. "I feel so at home with you like this and sometimes I think that if we never get back home, I'd be okay because I have you here with me and you make everything okay."

"Just don't tell anyone 'bout how sweet I can be, got a rep to protect," Faith chuckled, wiggling her eyebrows when Buffy just glared at her. "This ain't gonna change once we get back home, is it?"

"No, it's not going to change, Faith. Just as long as you don't start pushing me away again."

"Gonna try not to, B. Can't quite promise ya anything, though."

"What's going to happen once we get home, with Jackie I mean?"

"Dunno, B. Figure it's gonna be pretty hard for her to adjust to the world as it is now considerin' she's been gone for so long now. Kinda worried someone's gonna see her and think she really is fuckin' crazy and wanna put her in a home or somethin'. Don't think I could handle that."

"We'll take care of her. All of us. Giles will make sure nobody takes her away from you, from us."

"Sometimes it's easier just to keep tellin' myself that my mother is dead and gone, but then I know now it ain't true. Kind of a fucking head-trip, y'know? Don't even know how to talk to her, B. Don't even know what to fuckin' say to her sometimes."

Buffy just nodded, smiling in understanding as Faith sighed heavily and looked up at the ceiling. They laid there together in silence for a while, both falling away into their own thoughts. Faith just tried to stay focused on the soft caresses of Buffy's hand over her stomach. As much as she ached for a little release after their fight outside, she just wasn't in the mood to do anything but lay there with her. She was just a fraction of her old self now, part of her world no longer revolving around fucking another whenever she had an itch to be scratched. Although it was tempting, she just wasn't feeling it.

Everything was different and everything was still changing. It was a never-ending cycle now and one that always affected her mood. It was more than just a struggle to keep herself in a state of mind that kept her happy, mellow, and relaxed. Being stuck where they were and having gone so long dealing with it as well as she had at first was tearing her apart. She needed to go back home, they both needed to. Those whispers she heard almost constantly now were starting to become clearer. It sent chills through her body when she picked up on bits that didn't make any sense. The darkness still lingered inside of her, begging to come out, but shut out by the light she felt coming from Buffy.

Buffy's own darkness was there, she could feel it when she really let herself. It wasn't as strong as her own was and it didn't taste as bitter as her own did either. Buffy's darkness was different; it led her in a different way than her own had. Her darkness didn't make her bad, it just made her hate herself. She started to see that they were each other's anchors. They were keeping each other from giving in to the darkness that was like a drug, so tempting and so easy to fall into if they let themselves. She knew now why it was so easy to love once she'd let down her walls and let Buffy in.

"Shouldn't there be another shift by now?" Buffy whispered softly as she lifted her head to look at her. "It's been long enough."

"Maybe things changed? I mean shit, there's sun now when there wasn't none before. Maybe with the sun the shifts stop? Dunno," Faith shrugged. "Nothing makes complete sense here and even Jackie doesn't know what's goin' on, right?"

"She has no idea what's going on. She's confused, disoriented and that fight we had outside made her afraid that things are changing in a bad way. There was only so much I could explain before I lost her completely," Buffy replied as she moved away from Faith a little and laid back. "Don't you hear it?"

"Hear what?"

"Those voices," Buffy said softly as she looked over at her. "Always there, always whispering and yet never making any sense at all. But," she sighed as she turned back on her side and draped her arm over Faith's torso just below her breasts, "I hear them less when I'm close to you."

"Keeps the darkness away," Faith said under her breath, closing her eyes as Buffy's fingers trailed up over the soft curve of her breast and circled an already hard nipple. Even if she wasn't feeling in the mood before, just that one touch got her libido racing.

Buffy slipped her leg between Faith's, the undeniable wetness streaking across her thigh as Buffy leaned in to kiss her. "I don't want to talk anymore," Buffy whispered as she pressed her thigh hard into Faith's already throbbing, wet pussy. "I just want you. I want to be consumed by you. I'm addicted to your touch, to the feel of you."

She couldn't think clearly enough to speak and instead pulled her in for a hard, deep, and passionate kiss as she pulled Buffy more fully on top of her, their bodies flush against one another's. She gasped softly as Buffy pulled away from the kiss and began to lightly kiss over her bruised jaw. She raised her hips into Buffy's, trying to get some kind of friction as Buffy trailed light, wet kisses down her neck. It made her so wet whenever Buffy took the lead since she'd never trusted anyone enough before to do just that. She knew Buffy got off on being able to have complete control over her, but the sudden need and the words Buffy had uttered before about being consumed by her made it impossible to let Buffy have her naughty little way with her.

She took control, holding on to Buffy as she rolled them over slowly. Their lips met in a fierce kiss, tongues fighting for dominance as Faith pinned Buffy's hands against the mattress just above her head. She knew everything Buffy loved, the way she liked to be touched, be taken. She knew every spot on her body that made her squirm, made her cry out in pleasure, made those soft, breathy moans that drove her completely insane with want, lust, need, and desire.

She broke away from the kiss, just for a moment, so she could stare down into Buffy's eyes. There was never any reason to rush these moments they had together. It was all about passion, about just feeling one another and falling away from the rest of the world, becoming consumed by one another and letting all thoughts, all worries, and those whispered voices fade away. It was about forgetting, forgiving, moving on, and doing it together; no longer alone and never having to be again. So much could be said and felt with just one look and she knew she wasn't the only one who felt that way.

"_She'll leave you."_

"_She says she loves you, but you know it's not true. How can she love someone like you?"_

"_You're bad. Evil. She can never stay with you when she realizes this is just a façade."_

"_She only thinks she loves you because you are stuck here with all of us. Lost souls, once lost, always lost, never found, and never loved."_

"Faith?" Buffy asked as she reached up to gently cup Faith's face. "What's wrong?"

Faith shook her head, hovering over Buffy slightly, their bodies barely touching now. Those whispers were coming in loud and clear and she wasn't sure if they were the whispers that lingered there or if they were the voices in her head she'd learned to tune out while she was in prison. Tears burned her eyes as she stared down at Buffy and leaned into her soft touch, closing her eyes, feeling the tears spilling out slowly.

"Faith, what's wrong?" Buffy asked again, her voice wavering as if she was holding back her own tears. "Faith? Talk to me. Tell me what's going on."

"The voices," she whispered. "God, I can't—I don't want to do this anymore, Buffy."

"Do what?"

"Listen to them. How do I make them stop? I want them to stop. They ruin _everything_."

"Shh," Buffy said softly as she pulled Faith down fully on top of her, forcing her gently to lay her head down on her chest before she wrapped her arms around her. "Just ignore them, Faith."

"It's getting harder."

"I know," Buffy sighed as she kissed the top of her head softly. "It's getting harder for me too. The longer we're here, the louder and clearer the voices get. Don't let them in."

"I'm sorry," she whispered against the soft skin on Buffy's chest just below her collarbone. "I should've ignored it," she sighed out as she leaned up to look at her. "I should've just..."

She trailed off as she dipped her head down and caught a hard nipple between her lips; sucking gently as she tried to get back to the feeling she had before, the need and the desire to consume Buffy. To make her feel as if her whole body was being worshipped and devoured by her lips, her tongue, her fingertips, and her body itself. She inwardly cursed the voices she'd heard, trying to stay strong and stay in the moment she had created with Buffy.

She took Buffy soft and slow, her fingers dipping between her folds, seeking out her pulsating clit as her lips sucked and nibbled on the skin just below the underside of her pert breasts. Buffy's nails dug into her shoulders, alternating between trying to pull her up and push her down, not knowing what she wanted, how she wanted to be taken, to be consumed.

The torrential fire of emotions she felt not only from herself, but from Buffy, flooded through her, causing both of them to gasp and cry out in pleasure and not just because of the physical touch, but because of the way their souls began to mingle and intertwine. It filled her, warmed her, and fuelled her need for more. She felt Buffy clench around her fingers as she trailed her lips in hot open-mouthed kisses back up her body, over her breasts and up her neck slowly. She pulled back to watch as Buffy closed her eyes and bit her lip, the first waves of her orgasm flooding through her.

All it took was one soft touch from Buffy and she was right there with her, riding along the endless waves of pleasure and passion that flooded through their bodies. Even as the sun disappeared and the crack of thunder ripped through the sky, all she could see in front of her was Buffy, crying out her name ever so softly and holding Faith's emotions with her own. Keeping her steady, keeping her from flinging herself off that cliff into the unknown.

She would always have Buffy and she'd never let go. The voices knew nothing. They knew not the truth that spilled over in their hearts and in their very souls. Nothing could touch or break apart what they had now and she'd fight to the ends of the earth and beyond to keep Buffy as hers for always.


	27. Chapter 27

No longer feeling so hopeless, no longer feeling the despair she'd been feeling, Faith stood by the open door watching as the rain continued to come down. Before leaving a still fast-asleep Buffy, Faith had spent a few minutes just staring at her—wondering at her good fortune and asking herself how she ended up having something so great with Buffy. She'd always told herself she didn't do relationships, but apparently she was wrong about that and she knew that now. She'd never done relationships before because it had never been with the right person. She was still scared, just a little, of the things that would come for both of them over time. They were still in the early stages of their relationship, the part where they were infatuated with each other.

Even just thinking about it made her deliriously happy. She'd never felt that kind of happiness in her whole life and it just filled her the same way the darkness had. The happiness was filling a void inside of her, taking over, and she was allowing it instead of doing what she'd always done before and pushing it out. If they hadn't been sucked into the portal and ended up here, she knew things in their relationship would be different and that she wouldn't have all this time to think and over-think everything. Not just things between her and Buffy, but all the changes she'd been going through. And last but not least…Jackie.

She turned to look at Jackie as she walked out of her room muttering softly to herself, making her way over to the table to light the candle. She felt a bit of sympathy for the woman for having been stuck in this world for as long as she had been. Jackie had no idea what the real world was like and how much it had changed since she'd last been there. She knew that if she had to spend a little over twenty years in a place like this, almost entirely alone, she wouldn't have a single piece of her mind intact.

"Still raining, is it?" Jackie asked as she walked over to where Faith was standing. "I keep waiting for another shift. Something changed. Something has happened and something even bigger is about to happen."

"Yeah," Faith sighed as she turned to look back outside.

"Where is Buffy?"

"Sleeping."

"Ah," Jackie said with a nod as she stood across from Faith and leaned against the frame. "I was hoping we could talk, just the two of us."

"Talk? About what?"

"You," Jackie replied. "I don't know anything about you, Faith."

"You know some things about me, ain't that enough?"

"I know you are in love with Buffy, you are a Slayer, you have temperamental mood swings and you refuse to look at me after finding out the truth. There is a lot more to you than I know and I would like to know everything I can about my own daughter."

"What do ya want me to say, Jackie? Ya want me to tell you about my shitty childhood and even shittier life because of said shitty childhood?" Faith asked rather calmly despite the anger she felt boiling inside of her. "I don't wanna talk about any of that. Ever. Ya got that? It's painful for me and it brings up memories I would rather just fuckin' forget."

"You are never going to call me 'mom' are you?"

"No."

"I wanted to ask. I figured you wouldn't. It's okay," Jackie said with a soft smile when Faith turned to look at her. "You and Buffy have a lot of, er…history, don't you?"

"Yeah, we do."

"And you two managed to get over it and find something else inside of each other?" Jackie asked. Faith just responded by nodding her head before turning to look back outside to continue watching the rain as it fell steadily. "Your father and I, we had somewhat of a tragic beginning. Always fighting. I swear we went so many years in high school absolutely hating each other...until we didn't."

Faith knew what she was doing. She was trying to open herself up, tell Faith things she just didn't want to hear yet. She closed her eyes when Jackie reached out and very lightly touched her arm, trying to get her to look back over at her once again.

"I...I have no idea if your father is still alive. Maybe when we go home..."

"No. I don't wanna know who he is, Jackie. I. Don't. Care."

"You should care."

"_Why_?"

"Because he is your father, Faith. Don't you care about your family?"

"I have family. With Buffy and the others. Don't need any more than what I've got."

"But they aren't your _real_ family," Jackie said softly. "I am."

"Y'know something? They _are_ my real family now and I wouldn't change anything about it either. Heard a saying once that sometimes you hafta make your own family with the friends and people you surround yourself with. It wasn't a choice to make them my family. It just happened."

"I understand."

"Jackie," Faith sighed as she frowned, knowing no matter what she said she wouldn't be able to stop from upsetting her. "The whole family dynamic thing, I've never known what it's like. Never had that kind of luxury."

"I've forgotten what it's like," Jackie said quietly. "I've forgotten far too much and have missed far too much."

"Didn't miss out on anything good if ya ask me. The world is one fucked up place, Jackie. At least it has been for me. Really can't speak for anyone else."

"But you've found love in a great woman, can't all be bad," Jackie said with a smile as she wiped away a few tears. "Can I ask you something?"

"You're gonna anyway even if I say no." Faith muttered under her breath quietly.

"How long have you been...with other women?"

"Always swung both ways, never questioned it. Always went with whatever felt good, felt right at the time," she shrugged. "Does it matter?"

"No. Curious is all. Despite how much I've missed—your whole life—I still want to know who my daughter is and what she's become and who she will be in the days to come."

Faith looked back towards the stairs that led up to the loft, hoping Buffy would come down so she'd get out of talking to Jackie. She sighed heavily after a moment and motioned to Jackie to go sit at the table. She sat across from her, picking at the hole in her jeans just above the knee before she started telling Jackie almost everything she could bear to tell her. She skipped past most of her childhood and edited her teen years heavily aside from the stuff she told her that happened between her and Buffy and Buffy's friends. The more she talked, the easier it was and Jackie said nothing as she listened and hung on to every last word.

She told her about what happened with the Mayor, heavily editing a lot of it since she still had trouble dealing with falling so deep into the darkness at that time in her life. She told her how she'd spent nearly eight months in a coma, of the dreams she'd had and what it was like for her when she woke up. The urge to be good, to change her life, hadn't been there and when she tried to kill Angel, that was when the darkness inside of her really began to scare her. She told her how she turned herself in to the police, mostly because of Buffy and because of Angel. She skipped past most of her time spent in prison and went right to telling her how Wesley had come to get her, how she broke out of there to capture Angelus, and how she ended up going right to Sunnydale afterward to help save the world from the First.

She kept pausing, wondering if Jackie ever was going to say anything or ask her any questions. She kept talking, keeping it brief on the details as she told her about the time after Sunnydale—the ride to Cleveland and what they found themselves in shortly after. She told her about Henry, Laura, Julie and the others and that garnered a reaction from Jackie's otherwise emotionless face. She stopped talking once she got to the point where she and Buffy were sucked into the portal, reaching for the glass of water sitting on the table and taking a few sips.

She felt as if she had been talking for hours with how dry her mouth felt and she knew she probably had been. She'd told Jackie a lot and she knew it was a lot for her to take in. She didn't know how one minute she felt like she didn't want to tell her anything and then the next she was like an open book, or at least the cliff notes version of an open book. She heard the stairs up to the loft creak softly as Buffy came down and even across the vast space and the darkness she could see Buffy smiling over at her.

"I, uh…wow," Jackie said finally as she shook her head. "You sure have gone through a lot more than most people do in a lifetime, Faith. I can understand it all now. I understand you now."

"Makes one of us."

"You don't understand yourself?"

"No, not anymore," she replied as she shook her head, not once taking her eyes off of Buffy as she walked over towards them slowly. "Ever since I got that big ass dose of empathy I don't even know what I'm feeling and what I'm picking up from others."

"It can't all be bad," Jackie said. "The empathy, I mean. Have you ever thought of using it to your advantage?"

"How?"

"To better understand the people around you. You can know what they are feeling without having to ask or be told. You have this ability to understand human emotions. Not everyone can say that, can they?"

"She does use it," Buffy said as she sat down next to Faith on the crate. "Oh boy, does she ever use it sometimes."

"Oh," Jackie laughed as she shook her head. "I see."

"B?" Faith chuckled as she casually ran her hand over Buffy's thigh. "Talking about our sex life with my mother? Not something I'm into."

"Nor am I into hearing about it," Jackie said as she stood up and headed for the door that was still wide open. "I am going to take advantage of the rain and give you two some time alone."

"Good talk?" Buffy asked softly as soon as Jackie had disappeared outside.

"Yeah. Good as it coulda gone I guess," Faith shrugged. "Told her a lotta stuff I didn't think I'd be able to. Was easier than I thought it'd be."

"Sometimes—_most_ times—things are easier than they appear to be before you try. I should know. Thought it'd be impossible for me to work up the courage to kiss you that one night, but I'm glad I did."

"Feels like that night was forever ago," Faith said softly. "And I'm fuckin' glad ya did, too, even though it scared the crap outta me thinkin' you'd regret it the next day cos you were all drunk and shit."

"Liquid courage," Buffy chuckled softly. "And a whole lot of regular courage too."

"Hmm?" Faith smiled as Buffy moved to straddle her legs, both of them unable to stop smiling at one another as Buffy leaned in for a soft kiss. "Y'know somethin', B? I like this. Just...bein' like this together."

"Like what? Close?"

"Yeah. It ain't all gonna change once we get back home, is it?"

"No," Buffy said as she shook her head slowly and ran her fingers through Faith's hair. "It is definitely not gonna change. You know why?"

"No, why?"

"Because I won't let it," she smiled softly. "I'm done taking steps back. I only want to keep going forward. No matter what we go back home to, this isn't going to change between us. It'll only change by becoming something more."

"More?"

"Like...maybe you could take me out on a date…or I could take you out on one, I'm not really sure how that all works," she said softly as she continued stroking her fingers through Faith's hair gently. "I promised you I'd cook you dinner and maybe after dessert we could...go somewhere, you know like a..."

"Date? Like going to see a movie? Maybe going out dancing?" Faith chuckled softly, feeling a little nervous yet slightly optimistic about it all. "Maybe a nice stroll through the cemetery under a full moon, stakes in our pockets, ready to..."

"God," Buffy laughed as she slid her hands around the back of Faith's neck. "I guess we really can't do anything normal, right? Slaying is a part of our life, might as well make it a part of a date, huh?"

"Might not have much of a choice."

"You know what I've been thinking?" Buffy asked, smiling when Faith just shrugged and shook her head no. "I've been thinking that maybe the reason I've never been able to have a lasting relationship before is because I've never been with anyone that understands what kind of a life a Slayer has to live. Maybe I should have tried this whole thing with you before. Maybe things would've been a hell of a lot easier."

"Wouldn't have worked out before. You and I both know that, B. We were at a different place in our lives before and now we're not, we're in the same place. Not just all symbolic and stuff, but for real too, yeah?" she grinned. "Nobody else is gonna understand the way we feel with the weight of the world on our shoulders all the time, day in and day out. Not even the newbies. They don't know what it's like."

"I hope they never do," Buffy whispered as she let out a soft sigh and leaned her forehead against Faith's. "I get this feeling that it's just you and me again, Faith. Something happened before we got sucked into the portal."

"Been feeling that too, trying to convince myself its cos we're here and...is it weird if I told you I could feel Kennedy the way I can feel you?"

"You could?"

"Yeah, just not as strong or intense. Didn't get that full body buzz that I get with you."

"You buzz?"

"It's like a drug. Thinkin' it's one of the reasons why I'm so addicted to ya, B."

"Okay, Miss Attention Span," Buffy laughed as she stopped Faith's wandering hands from slipping under her shirt. "We're having a conversation, not..."

"Not what?"

Faith cocked her head to the side, smirking as Buffy let go of her hands, biting her lower lip as Faith slid them under her shirt and over her stomach, slowly and tenderly caressing her soft skin as she watched her eyes darken slightly.

"I don't think I'm the only one with the whole attention span problem here," Faith whispered as she leaned in and trailed light kisses over the blonde's neck as she moved her hands upwards. "All I have to do is..." she trailed off as her hands reached Buffy's breasts and she smirked as the other slayer closed her eyes and whimpered softly. "All I have to do is touch you, B. You are at the complete mercy of me whether you want to be or not."

"It's electrifying," she whispered as she leaned back just a little, arching into the touch as Faith tweaked both of her nipples. "And you were right about the addictive part. I think I am too."

"Ya think?" Faith chuckled as she studied Buffy's face, watching as a wave of pleasure rolled through her. She very slowly moved her hands away from her breasts as she leaned in to kiss her deeply, thoroughly, as the rain picked up, the roaring sound of it making it difficult to hear anything else. "B?"

"Yeah?" Buffy breathed out softly, her eyes closed and her lips barely touching Faith's.

"Maybe we should go up to the loft and..."

"And?"

Faith just leaned back, smiling at her. She could feel the mood shift in Buffy, one she'd gotten all too used to since they'd been there. She'd always thought she was the only one who could be talking about one thing one minute and the next thinking of nothing besides getting naked and fucking 'till she lost all feeling in most of her body. Buffy was turned on by the littlest things, by a simple kiss or a look at times. She wondered once again if Buffy had always been like that or if it was because of her. She hoped it was a little of both.

"And what, Faith?"

"Ya really got to ask me that?"

"Simply insatiable, aren't you?"

"We both are," Faith smirked as she waited for Buffy to slide off her lap before she stood up. "Slayer stamina, babe. Even without being a Slayer, I could go for hours."

She pulled Buffy with her, unable to keep her hands from roaming and her lips from tasting every inch of skin she could reach. Buffy grabbed onto her and pulled her lips close to her own as they reached the bottom of the stairs. They could barely stop kissing long enough to make it up the stairs, but they managed, just barely, to make it up without tripping and falling over each other. Buffy pulled back from the kiss, halting them as they stumbled towards the mattress, and she licked her lips slowly as she looked her up and down.

"Strip."

Faith wiggled her eyebrows, her fingers playing with the button on her jeans. "And if I don't?"

"I'll rip your clothes off of you and you'll be walking around naked or with a sheet wrapped around you until we go home."

"Explain to me how the whole walking around naked part is bad?"

Buffy said nothing as she raised an eyebrow and placed her hands on her hips, waiting for Faith to strip out of her clothes. Faith waited too, seeing what Buffy would do if she didn't make a move, and it turned into a staring contest of sorts until Faith took a few steps towards the mattress and slipped off her boots. Buffy copied her move, her hands now running along the hem of her shirt as Faith slowly took off her own shirt. Buffy's shirt was off in seconds, joining Faith's on the dusty floor. She slipped out of her jeans slowly, her eyes never leaving Buffy's as she kicked her jeans aside. She stood there completely nude, a playful smirk curling over her lips as she watched Buffy push her jeans past her hips ever so slowly.

She knew this game and it made her skin tingle in anticipation of Buffy's next move. Buffy liked to be in control and she'd never seen anything sexier than in those moments where Buffy had her wrapped around her little finger, and her big finger or several. She chuckled softly as she thought about it and found herself being thrown down on to the mattress and Buffy sitting astride her stomach.

"I'm a little worried about something," Buffy whispered as she leaned in, seemingly about to kiss Faith but stopping just a breath away from her lips.

"What's that, B?"

"That everything is going to change when we go back home."

"Change?"

"Well," she laughed almost shyly as she sat back and stared down at Faith, who leaned up and propped herself on her elbows. "I mean, all we've been doing when we get the chance to be alone is..."

"Fuckin'?"

"Yeah. Once we're back home we're not...I mean, you know how hard it is to be alone for more than a few minutes at a time and I don't think we can get away with locking ourselves away for an entire day or two at a time."

"B?"

"Yeah?"

"Ya tryin' to ruin the mood here?"

"No! I was just...thinking. Sorry. Stupid thing to think about right now. I was supposed to be..."

"Turnin' into dominatrix Buffy?" Faith chuckled at the glare Buffy shot her. "Kidding, B. Although, the idea doesn't suck. Y'know, you being all dom, tyin' me up, smackin' me around a little 'till I behaved like a good little Slayer."

"You get off on it, don't you? When I hit you, fight with you," Buffy smirked as she leaned forward slowly. "I knew it."

"Hot little thing like you smackin' me around sure as hell gets me all worked up," Faith whispered huskily as she pulled her down closer, her grip on the back of her neck tight, but not enough to hurt her. "I know _you_ like it fast and rough too."

"I like it slow...sometimes."

"But ya like it when it hurts so good it's not pain, but pleasure, don't ya?" Faith smirked when Buffy just stared at her, her expression unchanging. "I think," she whispered ever so softly as she moved to whisper it into her ear, "I think you need the pain so you can _feel_. I know you better than ya think I do. All that talk about slow is bullshit, B."

"You don't like it?" Buffy asked and Faith smiled a little when she could just feel the pout forming.

"Never said that," she whispered the words as she trailed her lips over Buffy's jaw, stopping when she got to her lips. "This is slow."

She felt the slight surprise that Buffy felt as she kissed her again, savouring the seconds that went by until Buffy pulled back and stared down at her, their eyes seeking each other's out in the darkness. She held her breath a little as she traced her fingers over Buffy's lips and up to her furrowed eyebrows, smiling as she watched Buffy relax a little.

"What?"

"This is...new," Buffy said softly.

Faith rolled them over slowly, grinning as Buffy let out a soft whimper. This was definitely new, for the most part. Faith knew what Buffy had meant, the soft caress Faith had just done meant a whole lot more than just that. It was the way they'd looked at each other in that moment, it was the intensity that flowed through them, and it was something else. Something _very_ new to Faith and from the looks of things, it was for Buffy as well. Not just their naked bodies, but everything they were was being laid bare between them.

The roaring rain picked up outside, creating an atmosphere around them that felt like their own little bubble. Faith felt, just for a second, her whole heart clench as the strongest emotions she'd ever felt went through her, hitting her so hard she felt like she was about to faint. She kept herself steady, kept herself together. She had to stop thinking, but she knew it wasn't her fault that being so close to Buffy made her feel so goddamn much. She kissed her hard to stop thinking so much, and focused on just feeling Buffy beneath her.

Her lips made a slow descent down Buffy's neck, stopping to savour each kiss, each taste. She barely heard Buffy's moans over the roaring rain outside, but she could feel them with every touch. Hands went to the back of her head, pulling her into the other woman firmly as her lips wrapped around Buffy's nipple. Faith teased the bud with her teeth and tongue, biting a little roughly before she ran the tip of her tongue over the hollow between her breasts. She stopped to place a soft kiss just over her heart and smiled against her skin as Buffy's fingers gripped a handful of her hair before allowing her to continue on her torturous descent down across her stomach.

Every soft nibble against her skin elicited one soft moan after another. Buffy pleaded with her softly, whimpering as Faith stopped to look up at her. That feral look was still in Buffy eyes, the passion of it all could be felt in the heat that was blazing between their barely touching bodies. She knew from one look what Buffy wanted, what she needed, and she moved to hover over her, her face just inches from Buffy's as her fingertips trailed a blazing path down her stomach, stopping short just inches from her throbbing center.

Faith's lips claimed hers in another kiss as she deftly slid her fingers lower, teasing her still, feeling her hips buck up into her hand as she tried to get her to touch her where she wanted her to most. The kiss was searing yet nowhere near the heat they felt between each other as Faith's fingers traced the lightest of touches over her clit. Still teasing, but with purpose, Faith broke back from the kiss to look down at Buffy, making out every curve and dip in her face in the almost pitch black darkness as an intense amount of pleasure tumbled through her. When her lips met Buffy's once more, she thrust a single finger inside her hot, waiting hole.

Buffy's whole body arched into hers, twisting in pleasure as she lifted a leg and wrapped it around Faith's waist, pulling her closer and forcing her to move her fingers out from inside of her. She let out a low moan, nearly a growl, that sounded completely wanton as she felt Buffy's wet pussy slide against her own. Aside from the sounds of pleasure escaping past their lips and the roaring rain outside, they heard nothing else, saw and felt nothing else but each other. The intimacy being shared between them was far beyond physical. Far beyond anything words could ever describe.

Faith slowed her thrusts nearly to a stop, breathing heavily as she laid a gentle kiss upon Buffy's forehead as they began to reach their peak of a very intense orgasm together. Buffy's hands were now on her back, holding her close, her nails digging into the skin nearly hard enough to make her bleed.

"Don't stop," Buffy pleaded softly, her voice wavering slightly as she spoke.

Faith didn't say a word as she smiled and began to steadily thrust into Buffy, hard and then slow, finding it impossible to hold herself back completely from taking her fast and rough. A thunderous roar of thunder shook the building as they came, timing or coincidence, it just intensified those few short minutes where all they felt was each other and the passion that was almost painful as it blindingly tore through them with every gasping breath.

Faith couldn't find the energy to move as she lay next to Buffy, half her body draped over the other slayer and their legs intertwined in their own embrace. Faith's body was still charged, but the rest of her, her heart, her mind, her soul, was exhausted and begged for rest. Of all the times they'd spent lying on that mattress together, basking in the afterglow, she never failed to be amazed at the soft, gentle and loving caresses Buffy lazily traced up and down the arm she had draped over Buffy's waist. She didn't even have to fight her thoughts this time, nor fight the overwhelming emotions that seemed to do nothing but take her over lately. She'd found a moment of peace there in Buffy's arms and what would have scared her before just made her feel at home now.

"Thinking again?" Buffy asked softly as she ran her fingers over the side of Faith's head tenderly.

"When am I not?"

Buffy laughed heartily as Faith didn't move her head from her shoulder and instead placed a soft kiss just below her ear. They lay there just holding each other for what felt like hours, listening to the roaring rain outside that showed no sign of letting up. The air was sticky and hot once again, making their skin stick to each other wherever they were touching. Faith was the first to move, forcing herself to since the rumbling in her stomach told her she needed to eat or risk once again becoming almost too weak to even feed herself.

"Hungry?" Faith asked as she grabbed her clothes and slowly slid them on. "Ya think Jackie whipped up another batch of her super awesome soup?"

"God I hope so," Buffy replied, both of them laughing at the sarcasm both thick in their voices. "I keep dreaming of food. Is that crazy? Is that some kind of sign of cabin fever or something?"

"More like being stuck in some in-between dimension fever."

She looked down at Buffy, still lying on the mattress watching her as she slipped on her boots. Buffy hastily got up and dressed under Faith's watchful eye, neither of them doing anything but staring intensely at one another. Words could communicate their feelings up to a point, but these looks said so much more. They shared one last kiss before making their way down the rickety stairs. Faith reached for Buffy's hand halfway down and they just smiled at each other before nearly running into Jackie on the last step down.

Jackie said nothing to them, muttering under her breath, looking and sounding flustered as she walked past them to the door that led to the front. Faith and Buffy just exchanged a look of confusion as they made their way over to the table, the small fire in the hole in the floor burning embers now with the pot half-full of that god-awful potato soup. It was even starting to smell like nothing just as it tasted like dirt having been poured into the boiling water.

"Gotta eat," Faith muttered under her breath after she and Buffy had gotten themselves a bowlful of the soup they'd been living off of for who knew how long now. "God. You better have been fucking serious about cookin' some real fuckin' food once we get home."

"Dead serious. That'll come right after about three hours spent in a nice hot shower."

"You ever wonder how bad it's gotten out there without us around?"

"I try not to think too much about anything."

"Thinkin' can't be all bad, though. Part of the whole self-discovery thing. Or whatever," Faith shrugged, trying not to bring up what the counsellor in prison had told her. Buffy looked at her, the candlelight flickering over her face, showing nothing but curiosity as she tried to understand the meaning behind Faith's words. "Spent a few years doin' nothing _but_ thinkin'."

"Oh. In prison," Buffy said, a statement, not a question. "You ever wonder if there's another reason we were brought here?"

"What reason?" Faith asked, knowing Buffy was purposely changing the subject.

"Like this was meant to happen? I don't know, I can't—it's hard to even explain it, but before we came here, I felt happy, sort of. I couldn't quite let myself, not even when things started between us. I tried, I really did. You think maybe there's something bigger at work here? Because I mean come on," Buffy laughed as she shook her head, "the whole thing with Julie and her family? Even though there was the immortality issue and the whole owning of the Gem of Amara thing, it was kind of..."

"Pathetic? At least it was right near the end. She was just another vampire, a little more bat-shit crazy than most, but that's all she was and her parents? Give me a fuckin' break, right?"

"I thought it'd be more, I thought it'd be harder. But it didn't matter what we did then, did it?"

"No," Faith replied. "It wouldn't have mattered. Either way we were supposed to come here."

"That's what they told you in that place, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

"It's what I keep hearing. Those voices. Telling me I have to find my true human nature, to let myself feel because this is what I was brought here for."

"You thinkin' it's the Powers that Be or is it somethin' else?"

"I don't know," Buffy said and let out a deep breath, tracing her fingers over Faith's shoulder as she stood next to her. "If it is the Powers that Be, I hope they know they've got one really pissed off Slayer on their hands for putting us both through this."

"Two pissed off Slayers and their family," Faith said pointedly. "We better get some answers soon. Have half a mind to go back to that place, that temple, and find out what the fuck is really goin' on around here and why we're really here."

"You can't," Jackie said as she approached them slowly. "You can only go when they call for you. They haven't called. Not since the last time."

"How many times have _you_ gone there?" Faith asked angrily.

"A couple of times. Told me the same things you were told," Jackie said as she sat down on the other crate and let out a heavy sigh. "I know how frustrating it is not to know. I spent a long time not knowing and just trying to survive here. Henry, he—"

"It was his soul and hate to say it, Jackie, but his soul is just as fuckin' evil as he was."

"I know," Jackie nodded. "I still listened. I had no choice. Do you understand that, Faith? I had no choice. I've never _had_ a choice. You two think you've been brought here for a reason? You ever wonder if that reason could be the fact that you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time?"

"No," Buffy said firmly as she glared across the table at her. "Nothing _just_ happens, Jackie."

"You're wrong," she replied quietly. "Things do happen just because they happen. Sure, there are things that happen for a reason, especially here. Do you think you were brought here for the greater good? Have you thought that maybe you were brought here so you could find yourselves? That's what that witch told me—why she was sending me here—because I need to find myself."

"What a crock of shit," Faith muttered angrily under her breath. "You're fucking crazy, Jackie. Been here too long and now those wires in your brain are fuckin' crossed."

Faith saw the slap long before Jackie actually reached across the table and slapped her as hard as she could across the face. She just stood up, nearly threw the bowl in front of her to the floor, but restrained herself and just walked away. The rain was still coming down but she didn't care, walking out the back door to stand there in the rain, shaking as she tried to calm herself down. Things were starting to get bad, really bad. She could not only see it but feel it too. Jackie and her way of thinking, the way she just spoke at times; her craziness was starting to bleed into Faith. She knew if it was bleeding into her that Buffy was feeling it too.

If what Buffy had said about what the voices were saying to her was true, Faith wanted to laugh in their non-corporal faces. Human nature? What did anything they've been going through have to do with finding one's true human nature? If the Powers that Be were behind this, _if_ they were, Faith knew there had to be a damn good reason for it. Then again, she also knew that the Powers that Be tended to fuck around just because they could. It was bad enough their dreams, the prophetic dreams and shared Slayer dreams, were cryptic. Now they'd been sent to a world between worlds where everywhere they turned there seemed to be some cryptic meaning or another.

She closed her eyes when Buffy came to stand behind her and wrapped her arms tightly around her. She didn't move, didn't turn to face her, she just kept her eyes closed and tried to relax as much as she could. Any other time, a simple touch from Buffy calmed her, but it was changing yet again. Everything was always changing. She was changing and it was just _her_. She could feel the essence of the Slayer inside of her growing and getting stronger with every minute that passed by.

Faith turned slowly in Buffy's arms, blinking through the rain as she stared at her, her eyes searching Buffy's as if she was trying to see everything she was thinking without having to say a word. One look and she knew she right and that Jackie was wrong. They _were_ here for a reason and whatever reason that truly was, she was starting to see bits of it. Finding and holding on to their true human nature would make them stronger, faster, about as close to immortal as a mortal could be. It was what would keep them alive once they were returned home and it was what would help them love like they never loved before.


	28. Chapter 28

Twenty-eight days had passed since Buffy and Faith were sucked inside the portal and nobody was getting any closer to finding a way to bring them home. The women from the coven and Willow had found the location of the portal, no longer inside the Hellmouth in Cleveland but in the one in Italy. They had managed to cast a spell to keep it from moving, but when it came to trying to pull Buffy and Faith out, nothing they ever did worked. Kennedy could see how tired Willow was, exhausting herself using magic that drained her almost completely.

Kennedy had tried to talk Willow into taking a break since that morning, but Willow kept telling her it would feel like she was giving up and she couldn't do that. Kennedy ended up lounging under the tree in the backyard with Satsu for most of the afternoon. Satsu was reading one of Giles' books and glancing up from it every couple of pages just to look at Kennedy and flash a small, sweet smile her way. The sun was hot, the air was muggy, and the dark clouds were rolling in from the west slowly with promises of a late afternoon summer storm.

"Do you ever wonder what it'll be like for us if we never get our power back?" Satsu asked as she closed the book and placed it on the ground next to her. "I know Althenea said she and the others were working on finding a way to activate the scythe again, make us all Slayers again, but you ever wonder what if they can't?"

"Every day. We weren't even Slayers for very long, but I miss the power I felt."

"Right, that's what I was trying to explain to Carmen the other day. Doesn't matter how long you've had that power, the point is you've felt it and you crave to have it back."

"Willow and the others are trying to fix everything else first," Kennedy said quietly as she looked back up at the house. "Thing is, I don't think they realize that maybe the world would be better off staying the way it is now. Sure there's chaos, but it's calmed down now."

"Maybe," Satsu shrugged. "I don't know, I'm just thinking too much lately."

"We all are. There isn't much else we can do other than sit around and do fuck all while we wait for Willow and the other witches to figure everything out."

"Rather bitter, aren't you?"

"Yeah."

"It'll all fall into place in the end, you'll see."

"And if it doesn't?"

Satsu sighed softly as she picked up her book and stood up. "If it doesn't, we'll worry about it then. You can't worry about something if it hasn't happened yet."

"Where are you going?" Kennedy asked as she got up and shook off the numbness in her left leg from having sat on it for far too long. "Satsu?"

"Inside," she replied softly and stopped to look up at the sky. "Storm is coming."

"Yeah, I can see that," Kennedy muttered under her breath as the first few raindrops began to fall. She followed Satsu inside to find the women from the coven sitting around the table with Giles and Willow. "What's going on?"

"We found a way to fix everything," Willow said as she turned to look at her, smiling for the first time Kennedy could remember since Buffy and Faith were sucked into the portal. "We are going to fix everything, Kenny."

"Great. How?"

"We are going to open the portal and bring them home. It's a spell and it's...sort of complicated," Willow replied as the women around the table began talking quietly among themselves. "I can do the spell on the scythe tonight and by Sunday," she smiled wider as Kennedy forced a smile back, "and by Sunday we'll bring them home."

"If it's a spell, how come you didn't—"

"Like I said," Willow said as she cut her off. "It's complicated, Kenny. Complicated but really not at all impossible like we thought."

"And what are the consequences? You know, you told me before all magic comes with a price."

Willow stood up and the two of them went out into the hallway to talk alone. "The consequence is the fact that when we bring them back they...they'll be stronger."

"Stronger how?"

"Althenea told me that if we reactivate the scythe and open the portal to bring them home, they'll channel the essence of every Slayer that lived and died before them."

"So they're going to have super superpowers when they come back? That's the consequences of pulling them out of the world they're stuck in inside the portal?"

"Yeah."

"And that's bad because?"

"Because they'll have so much power inside of them, more than anyone should ever have. You don't know what too much power can do to you until you have it and let it control you."

"Will, we're talking about Buffy and Faith coming back as super Slayers here, not..." Kennedy sighed as she leaned against the wall. "Look, just do what you have to do to bring them home. Let me know if you need any help later or whatever."

"Kenny..."

"What?"

"Why are you being like this?" Willow asked as she took a step closer to her. "Shouldn't you be happy we've finally figured it out?"

"I am happy," she replied with no emotion in her voice. "I just don't think...no, I do think. That's all I've been doing for the last month is think. We all have. It's not healthy and I can't fucking stand it anymore."

"Stand what?"

"Questioning myself about our relationship."

"Wait, how did this turn into a conversation about us?"

"Because it never...you know what? Forget about it," Kennedy scoffed as she headed for the stairs. She wasn't in the mood to get into it with Willow again and after the other day, the doubts she was having about their relationship were making her feel guilty.

"Kennedy, we're doing it tonight," Willow said as Kennedy reached the bottom of the stairs. "And by Sunday, everything will be okay again and then we can work on being okay again too. I promise, baby. Everything will get better. It'll never be like this again."

"I know."

"They've been gone almost a month. Everyone is feeling the strain, the stress. Everyone is worrying about them, but they are alive and well and together."

"How do you know that?"

"Althenea and I, when we found the portal we were able to take a quick glance inside. The darkness became light there and we were able to stop the shifts that world goes through every time it moves from place to place. I saw them, just for a second, and they were together and they looked...happy almost."

"How can they be happy where they are, Willow?"

"Because they have each other. If anyone told us that they'd find something within each other two months ago, you know that each and every one of us would have laughed and thought it was crazy because hello," Willow said, letting out a sharp laugh as she slowly approached Kennedy, "I mean its Buffy and Faith. They were never close, they were never able to spend more than ten minutes together without one of them saying something that would fuel the other and they'd end up fighting, with words and with their fists. Something changed when we left Sunnydale and whatever it is, it's still changing everything."

"Higher power guiding them on a path of what, happiness and love when the rest of the world has gone to shit?"

"Don't you get it?" Willow asked as she took Kennedy's hands in hers. "Buffy could never easily love and Faith, well she...she's always been a little rough around the edges. Maybe this really was supposed to happen so they'd finally have a chance to find each other, to really _see_ what was right there in front of them the whole time. The Fates wouldn't make something like this happen if it wasn't for a reason."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"Kenny..."

"It's too much, Will. Just...do what you have to do. Make us all Slayers again and bring them home. I'll be upstairs if you need me for anything."

"Kenny?"

"What?"

"We really need to sit down and talk. About us. About everything."

"Didn't we talk about this the other day?"

"We need to talk about it again," Willow said softly. "As soon as we're done in the kitchen and finish preparing for the spell we're doing tonight, I'll come upstairs and we'll talk. Okay?"

Kennedy just nodded her head slowly and headed up the stairs, finding it hard to stare straight ahead when all she wanted was to look back down at Willow and offer her a smile that meant so much more. She couldn't and didn't and she let out a choked sob as soon as she reached their bedroom door. Everything was falling apart, everything. It was almost as if another kind of evil had inched its way into all of their lives and started picking them apart where they were most vulnerable. Anyone in love was vulnerable, for when you are in love you are blinded from things you'd normally see with clear eyes and an unrestrained heart.

She was starting to understand Faith more than she ever thought possible. They really were too much alike and in so many different ways. Faith was complex in her own way, just as she was, but it was the way they dealt with things without actually dealing that made them the same. Kennedy nearly kicked open the door and sat down on the edge of the bed, forcing back her tears as she tried not to let her emotions get to the better of her. She had to stay strong and it was all she'd been doing since Buffy and Faith were sucked into the portal. She needed to be strong for herself now, the others didn't need her, and Willow didn't need her.

Maybe that was why she felt like she was being pulled towards Satsu. The sense of calm she felt with her was like no other. Still, despite how she felt, she couldn't do that to Willow. She lay back on the bed and closed her eyes, hoping that the days would go by faster and that everything would just go back to being the way it should be, with Buffy and Faith home where they belonged and everyone fighting the good fight, side by side once again as a family.

Even with the essence of the Slayer inside of her, she could still feel both Faith and Buffy. She could even feel Satsu, Amber, and—much to her dislike—she could feel Carmen too. She could feel Willow, but it was different, there was something not right with the way she felt her. Willow shared that same essence, but it wasn't really the same inside of her as it was for the others. She wondered—since she could still feel the others, could they feel her too without even realizing that's what they were feeling? She could feel her body slipping away, giving in to the exhausting pull of sleep. All those nights tossing and turning were finally beginning to catch up with her.

Barely had she begun to slip into a world that only existed in her dreams than she was pulled out of it by the insistent knocking on the bedroom door. She groaned as she sat up slowly and looked over at Willow as she stood there as if she was unsure if it was okay to come into her own room or not. Kennedy sighed as she moved to sit against the headboard and motioned to Willow to come and sit next to her.

"Everything all set for later?" Kennedy asked her as Willow finally sat down next to her, keeping a little bit of distance between them.

"Everything is all set, yes. We're just going to wait for Carmen and Amber to get back from shopping with Dawn to start."

"They're still out?"

"Yeah," Willow replied with a soft chuckle. "Should be back soon. Giles didn't give them that much money to spend."

"Tell me about this spell you're gonna do to bring Buffy and Faith home."

"It's hard to explain, Kenny."

"Try."

"We have to open a door and I have to go in, not physically, but I have to project my own soul inside to draw them out. This is why the women in the coven are here and why there are so many of them. It's dangerous trying to pull something out of another world, another dimension, when that place isn't done with them yet. We know that the Powers That Be are behind this. It's so much more than them being in the wrong place at the wrong time. It's so much more than me not being able to close the Hellmouth before it pulled them in."

"I told you it wasn't your fault."

"I know that now," Willow replied, taking in a deep breath as the storm outside grew fiercer by the second. "We have to wait until Sunday. There's only a small window of time we have to do this and we cannot afford to screw it up."

"I've got complete confidence in you."

"I know."

"Are you scared?"

"Very scared. I keep thinking it's not going to work and they'll be stuck there for who knows how long, forever maybe. I can't leave them there."

"You'll bring them home, Will. I know you will."

"Everything will be fine again in a couple of days," Willow said softly, not just to Kennedy but to herself, as if she was trying to convince herself that everything would be okay no matter what happened—or didn't happen. "I don't even want to think of how being stuck in a place like that is going to change them. Giles already told me not to expect them to come back as themselves."

"Spending a month in a Hell-like dimension would definitely change anyone. They're strong, though, Will. We all know they are. They're stronger than even they think they are. You're strong too, baby. You'll bring them home safely."

Willow smiled as she leaned in for a soft kiss and they both sat back against the headboard just listening to the storm as it raged on outside. They needed to talk about them, about their relationship, but Kennedy was tired of talking and she knew Willow was too. They never just sat there anymore just to be together, to be near each other, to touch, to see, to understand without words what the other felt. Kennedy knew what they had—what they shared together—was deep, and it was real despite how far apart they felt now. She knew nobody else would ever be able to touch what she had with Willow. Not even Satsu, despite how she felt about her and how good Satsu made her feel. As good as it was, it still felt not quite whole, still missing something.

With everything going on, now wasn't the time to talk to Willow about their relationship and where it was going, or rather where it _wasn't_ going. Somehow, though, she knew that Willow knew exactly what she was feeling. It was probably why they were drifting apart and finding it hard to just talk about it. She stroked her thumb over Willow's, turning to look at her and finding it impossible to force a smile. She just wanted to be happy again and she knew they all wanted that.

"Are you tired?" Willow asked her as they both tried not to yawn. "Yeah, me too."

Kennedy chuckled softly as she pulled Willow against her as they laid down on the bed. "A few hours of napping won't kill us. Besides, you should be well rested before you do the spell tonight."

"Yeah," Willow nodded her head as she held onto Kennedy tightly. "We still need to talk. About us."

"We'll get there," Kennedy whispered as they shared a silent understanding of just what that talk would be about. "But for now, let's just _be_, okay?"

"I can do that. I'm good at that."

"You really are," Kennedy said with a smile as she gently kissed the top of Willow's head and closed her eyes. "You're good at other things too."

"Like magic?"

"You are more than the power you have, Will. You know what else you're good at?"

"Hmm?"

Willow turned to look at Kennedy, both of them grinning as Kennedy just licked over her lips slowly. It'd been too long for her, for them, and she was starting to feel that burn inside of her to touch, to taste, to feel, to possess and worship and devour the woman she looked at like her own personal Goddess. The glint in Willow's eyes told her she was thinking the same thing and as their lips met in the first deeply passionate kiss they'd shared in a good long while, everything else seemed to melt away. All their worries, everything, gone with a kiss.

And Kennedy understood in that moment why Buffy and Faith were okay. They had found a similar solace within each other that made the rest of the world melt away and disappear just for a little while.

There were brief periods of day and night now, the shifts having long since stopped, and the rain that came with every rise of the unseen sun and continued long after darkness took over. The heat came in waves and where it should have been cool in the darkness, that was when it was hottest. Faith had spent far too much time out on the roof alone while Buffy slept. Jackie would nearly always come up there with her and they'd sit there on the ledge looking out over the forgotten, crumbling city, neither saying a word to one another most nights. A few times, though, they'd sit and talk quietly, but never about Faith and her life, only about the future and what would happen once they all went home.

More and more she was finding it easier to look at Jackie as her mother, but the words 'mom' never felt right to say to her. Jackie understood and she had told Faith just once that she never expected her to call her 'mom'. She was and always would be just Jackie to her and they had formed some kind of mutual understanding over it. She was growing more comfortable around Jackie and finding it easier just to talk about almost everything. Despite the fact that Jackie had more than a few screws loose, she wasn't all crazy. More and more, with time that passed, Faith could see that bit of insanity that had been with her for twenty years because she'd been alone was going away.

She was alone on the rooftop this time, her clothes soaked from the rain. She felt Buffy before she heard her come up to the roof and she couldn't keep the smile off of her face as Buffy stood behind her and gently wrapped her arms around her.

"Aren't you tired, Faith?"

"Exhausted."

"Then why don't you come inside, get dried off, and we'll get some sleep?"

"Don't feel like sleeping right now, B."

"You just feel like standing out in the rain?"

"Pretty much."

Buffy chuckled softly as she moved to stand in front of Faith, not once dropping her arms from around her. "Sometimes I understand you," she whispered as she leaned in for a soft, light kiss, "and sometimes I don't."

"Crazy, ain't it?"

"Oh yeah," Buffy smiled as Faith slid her arms around her and held her close. "I wouldn't have it any other way, though, you know?"

"I know."

"It's crazy how much I love you," she whispered as she blinked through the rain, trying to keep her eyes locked with Faith's. "I never knew I could love someone as deeply as I love you, even after everything we've gone through. I...sometimes I can't even put it into words how you make me feel. It's like you...see me, and not just me on the outside, but all of me."

Faith smiled widely at that, her whole heart feeling full with those words. Buffy could tell her every second of every day how much she loved her and how she made her feel and she'd never get tired of hearing it. She felt like it was crazy, too, how Buffy made her feel and how she made Buffy feel. Before coming back to Sunnydale, she never would have thought they'd ever be able to have something like this together. She never thought she'd be able to have something like this with anyone, no matter who, but Buffy had shown her otherwise and she was forever grateful for that.

"We're just a couple of love-sick fools, aren't we?" Faith asked, a teasing smile curling over her lips as Buffy smiled shyly at her. "Y'know I wouldn't have it any other way now, B."

"I know. Me neither. I bet the others would think we've done lost our minds if they saw us the way we are now," she said softly, laying her head on Faith's shoulder as they stood there in the rain just hold onto one another. "Come on, let's go get some sleep."

"In a minute, B. Just wanna stand here and hold ya for a little while."

"You can hold me while we sleep," Buffy whispered as she leaned back and smiled at her. "You are pretty stubborn about almost everything, aren't you?"

"Just figurin' that out now?"

"No," she laughed as she began to tug Faith away from the ledge. "Come on, Faith. Once we get back home, who knows if we'll have the luxury of sleeping whenever we want and to just be together whenever we want to be."

Faith knew she was right. She was always right. Everything would change once they were back home. Whether those changes would be good or bad or something in between, she knew that despite where they were they had to make the most of their time together in any way they could. She could feel the need coming from Buffy and it made her laugh softly at what an animal she'd become when it came to fucking, to making love. Buffy was insatiable and Faith could never quite get over how much and how often Buffy just wanted to spend all their time naked and writhing against each other and crying out in ecstasy as wave after wave of pleasure coursed through their bodies.

They barely made it inside and into the loft without ripping their clothes off each other, without their lips attacking, devouring, and unable to get enough of one another. Buffy let out a squeal as Faith pounced on her and they fell onto the mattress, giggling for a moment before the lust took over once again. Faith let out a low, feral moan as Buffy wrapped her legs around her waist and held her close, her nails digging into her back as Faith kissed her hard and deep. She moved to the side just a little, her hand roaming over Buffy's stomach, tracing small teasing patterns over her skin.

"_Is that all you ever do? Is this all you're good for? Scratchin' her itch, pretending it's something else? Got some news for you, Faithy. That's all you're good for. Love? Love doesn't happen to you. Not from her. Not from anyone."_

Faith pulled back from Buffy suddenly, not expecting to hear Julie's voice loud and clear like that and especially not _now_. Every last word echoed through her mind as she struggled to push them out and ignore them. She knew every last word was a lie and she wasn't letting it take her over, not this time. It was like the other half of the darkness inside of her, pushing the light out and trying to take over.

"Faith?"

"I'm fine."

"Faith, what is—what's wrong? Did you hear it too?"

"Julie?" Faith asked and Buffy only nodded her head.

"Ignore it," Buffy whispered. "Stay right here with me."

"Tryin' to, B."

"I can't believe she's messing with us. She's supposed to be seriously dead right now."

"Souls can't die," Faith said quietly. "Never go away either. Looks like hers found us."

"Why would she even do this?"

"Cos she can. Cos we _let_ her."

"Any way that we can tell her she's got really shitty timing?" Buffy asked, holding Faith close to her as if she was afraid she was going to move away completely. "Because this really sucks. You hear that? You got really shitty timing, bitch!"

"B, calm down," Faith whispered softly. "Babe, just chill, okay? Yeah, the timing fucking sucks, I'm with ya on that one," she said and paused to deliver a sweet, soothing kiss which seemed to calm Buffy down just a little. "Now, where were we?"

"Right about..." Buffy trailed off as she reached for Faith's hand and placed it over her stomach, "here."

She kissed Buffy again, pushing out every thought in her mind along with the ghostly whisper of Julie's voice. She had to keep herself calm. She had to keep herself in control. It was hard at times, especially when she felt her weakest, but she was strong and she knew it and Buffy was one of the reasons she could keep it together and deal as best as she could with whatever was thrown her way unexpectedly.

Every moment they shared when they were together like this brought them closer and pushed everything else out. It was far too easy to get lost within each other and they both knew they wouldn't have it any other way. Not now. Not ever.

Faith smiled against Buffy's lips as they both tried to catch their breath, her fingers dancing over the blonde's stomach, teasing her in a way she knew the other girl loved despite the whimpering pleas that escaped past her lips with every little touch. But the exhaustion of being there was really beginning to take its toll on both of them and despite the urges and the need to feel one another, sleep couldn't be forced away any longer. Faith laid one last tender kiss upon her lips before moving to lie next to her, her hand still tracing small teasing patterns over her stomach.

Buffy said not a word as she turned on her side with her back to Faith and pulled her arms around her. Their bodies were flush against one another, fitting together as if they were two pieces of a puzzle. The sweetest of dreams always came when Faith held Buffy this way and she always placed a hand over Buffy's heart, feeling it beat in time with her own. This was their time here in this world between worlds and it would be time they'd never get back once they were home. The only way Faith could keep the worry of things changing for the worse once they were back home was holding Buffy close and hoping that despite it all, the bond they had now would never grow apart. She had a suspicion that the bond they had together was even stronger than she knew, stronger than she felt that it was. If this was what love meant underneath all the complex layers that came with it, she was never ever letting go.

Her dreams this time were filled with memories, recent memories of the time after Sunnydale, the slow pace her and Buffy's friendship started off as and then of how they just came together after a night of drinking with one simple kiss. If it hadn't been for Buffy being so bold in taking what she wanted, they wouldn't be where they were now. Even in her dreams she thought of the future, the near and far distant future both, and not one single part of it was without Buffy. Buffy was her whole world now, inside and out, here and back home. The last part of her that felt like she only deserved to spend her entire life alone was slowly disappearing and she very gladly said her final goodbyes to that part of herself.

She woke up first and let out a soft content sigh as Buffy stirred slightly in her arms. This is how they'd both survived without breaking down in the last while—waking up like this, feeling at peace, feeling at home despite being so far from where there real home was. Still, even after hours of sleeping, hours of pushing it out of her mind, Julie's voice echoed through the rest of her thoughts, louder and clearer than it had been when she'd actually heard her voice.

She wanted nothing more than to scream out and tell Julie she was wrong, call her a liar and a bitch, call her out of the shadows she was hiding in and finish her for the last time. Souls never died, but she knew if she tried hard enough, fought hard enough with all that she had, Julie would be nothing but a speck of a memory by the time she was done with her. She tried to push it out of her mind yet again as she laid a gentle kiss to Buffy's shoulder that made her stir just a little more.

"Faith..." she mumbled sleepily as she slowly turned around in her arms. "Feels like we just fell asleep."

"I know, but we didn't."

"I was dreaming of food, real food," she said softly and pouted when Faith just laughed. "It's not funny."

"Nah, that wasn't why I was laughing. You're too fucking adorable sometimes for your own good, B."

"Oh."

Faith smiled and pulled her in for a deep, passionate kiss, trying to keep her hands from roaming too much. The rumbling in her stomach reminded her she needed to eat and soon and with the mention of Buffy dreaming of food, it just made the hunger pangs that much worse. If it were up to her they'd spend hours upon hours lying there together, holding one another, kissing and touching until they just couldn't move any more. But it was too easy to do that and dangerously neglect everything else. Buffy had gotten her into sparring on a regular basis again and it always came after they slept and ate.

Jackie always watched them spar, looking on with pure fascination at the graceful way they moved. There were times when it got out of hand like it had when the light first came, but it no longer scared Jackie the way it had before. She now understood their need to unleash their full power even if their intent wasn't to hurt one another.

It took them a little while to get motivated enough to get up and dressed in their clothes that were still damp from the rain. They were wearing thin, but it wasn't like they had a choice to wear anything else. Jackie was already cooking up a pot of soup, the bland smell of it mostly lost in the strong smell of the wood burning in the fire. Jackie was humming softly and tunelessly as she always did while she cooked. Faith chuckled as she grabbed Buffy's hand to spin her around and quickly wrap her arms around the shorter girl, swaying slightly to the sounds of Jackie's soft humming.

"It ain't real music, but it's enough to make me wanna dance with ya like this, B," she whispered softly into her ear as they held each other close.

"It's nice," Buffy whispered back and leaned back to look into Faith's eyes, smiling at her as she cupped her face in her hands gently and leaned in for a kiss. "I sure could get used to this."

"What, this? You mean dancin' like this with me?"

Buffy just nodded her head, smiling at her as they continued to sway together slowly. They hardly noticed that Jackie had stopped humming until they heard her clear her throat a few times to get their attention. "If you two lovebirds are done dancing when there is no music," she said with a laugh and pointed to the bowls on the table, "the soup is ready."

Buffy blushed slightly as she and Faith pulled apart. Neither of them were used to the casual way Jackie treated them, especially when she saw a moment transpire between them. They joined Jackie at the table and ate quietly. There was something different about Jackie now aside from the obvious level of comfort the three of them had found around each other. Faith couldn't quite put her finger on it, but it was like Jackie seemed happy, just as she and Buffy did.

"Do you two wonder just how much time has passed?"

"Yeah, but who knows?" Faith replied as she placed her now empty bowl on the table in front of her. "Can't be too long, right?"

"Doesn't feel nearly as long as I have been here, but it's been awhile," Jackie said softly. "You can't tell how much time has passed, can you?"

"No. Everything's outta whack. Guess once we do get home we'll find out."

"A month," Buffy whispered under her breath as she looked over at Faith. "We've been here for about a month, give or take."

"How do you know that, B?"

"I feel it."

"Huh," Faith sighed as she stretched her arms out over her head. "You ready to spar for awhile?"

"Give me a minute," Buffy said as she got up from the table and headed out the back door.

"She might be right," Jackie said softly as she picked at the dried wax on the table near the candle. "You two might just have been here for about a month now. It's hard to tell. The longer you're here, the more time doesn't feel like time. Do you understand?"

"Yeah. I do."

"I don't know if I'll be okay going home," Jackie whispered as she leaned over the table a little. "I don't know how I'll deal. I've been here far too long to go back to the world."

"You'll be okay," Faith said as she smiled over at her. "You'll be with us. You'll be okay. Promise."

She turned to look at Buffy as she walked back inside carrying two long metal poles. She grinned from ear to ear as she stood up and grabbed one of the poles that Buffy tossed to her. They walked to the center of the warehouse, circling each other as Jackie moved to sit near them to watch in the dim flickering light of the only candle that was lit. Within seconds the only sounds that could be heard was the clang of the metal poles as they clashed together and the heavy breathing coming from both of them as they struggled to keep up with one another.

They came to a stop, pushing the poles together with all the strength they had, trying to gain the upper hand. There was fire dancing in both their eyes as their faces were mere inches apart. Faith chuckled softly as she felt the burn in every muscle in her body as she strained against Buffy's strength, a perfect match to her own until that one split second she became distracted. She blew Buffy a kiss, using that moment to sweep her legs from under her, bringing the end of the pole around to the center of the blonde's chest and pinning her to the floor, both of them breathing heavily as Buffy pouted at her sudden and unexpected defeat.

No matter what did happen they had ways of forgetting and just living with what they had. It was a lesson Faith had learned long ago and one that Buffy was now also beginning to learn for herself.


	29. Chapter 29

Those voices, the whispers from the ghosts of their past, began haunting Faith, touching her in places that were so deep she couldn't stop it from happening. It had started when she heard Julie say the things she'd said to her and she couldn't ignore them, not anymore. After their sparring session, Faith had retreated to the rooftop once again, her muscles deliciously sore and the voices in her head taunting her louder than ever before. Even in the thunderous roar of the rain as it came down endlessly she couldn't quiet those ghostly whispers.

"Phenomenon, my ass," she muttered under her breath as she remembered what Giles had said to them about it before. "It's a goddamn pain in the fuckin' ass!"

She knew how crazy she'd look screaming to herself all alone on the roof to anyone or anything that didn't know the turmoil she was going through, but she didn't care. The frustration was getting to her, the anger consuming her, and the fire she felt growing in the deepest, darkest pits of her soul threatened to take over and throw her deep into the darkness she'd tried so hard not to fall into since the day she turned herself in. She couldn't even think of the amount of time she'd sat in her prison cell fighting her inner demons. Internal screaming wars were endless and they brought on the nightmares that left her scared to fall asleep. It'd gone on until the few short months before Wesley came to her and now, after being here for god knew how long, those same feelings were back.

She couldn't fight it anymore and she let herself go as she gripped onto the edge of the ledge that came just up to her waist. She saw a blur of memories, starting during her first few months in Sunnydale. They weren't all bad memories, not the ones in the beginning with Buffy. But then there were those long lonely nights after patrol, the random men and women, the few times she'd robbed her bedmates blind, so out of it they hadn't even seemed to notice or care. After those memories it was a whirlwind of darkness, of hatred, of fear. Of Buffy wielding that knife—_her_ knife—on the rooftop of her apartment and of Buffy plunging the knife deep into her gut. Of the fear she saw in Buffy's eyes that had no doubt mirrored her own.

Then there was the nothingness that was the only time she'd felt at peace in her life; those months she'd spent in that coma, months that had been stolen from her. She remembered how she felt after she woke, feeling so utterly betrayed to find that Buffy was no longer with Angel, the one she'd gutted her for. It had fuelled everything that happened afterwards, which brought on the darkest of the evil she'd always felt inside of herself.

"_Shut up! You think I'm afraid of you? You're nothing!"_

"_You're disgusting! A useless, murderous bitch!"_

"_You're nothing!"_

It was like an echo, the voice still clear in her head. Although she'd been in Buffy's body then, screaming at herself and not at Buffy, she heard her voice over the one that actually had come out of her mouth. That was the one memory that drove her to want to better herself, to seek redemption and change her life. She couldn't look at herself that way anymore and she didn't want to ever again. Buffy seeing her go through that, seeing how she'd completely lost it, had made her feel vulnerable and weak and she set out to fix it then the only way she knew how—inflicting pain and misery, hunting Angel and hurting those close to him. It was what she did best.

But there'd been a fleeting moment then when she lost herself, lost that evil wild child inside of her and wanted to end everything just so she didn't have to _feel_ anymore. She hated feeling. She'd hated it then and still hated it now, even though everything was so different. Feeling was just plain hard and it fucking _sucked_. She hadn't thought of that time in her life in at least a year. The last time she had, she'd broken down completely and ended up in solitary for over a week.

She heard the door open and turned to look over at Buffy as she walked over towards her with her arms folded across her chest. She let out a soft sigh as she stood next to Faith and they both turned to watch the rain as it fell all around the crumbling city.

"I heard you before," she said softly as she turned to look at her. "I...I know what you're going through right now, Faith. I mean...I really don't know exactly what you are going through, but for some reason I can feel what you're feeling right now. It hurts."

"No shit, B."

"It's never going to be like that again."

"You don't know that, B."

"No, I do know it is never going to be like that again. Don't let them win, Faith. I know you want to give up because you can't ignore them anymore, but _don't_ you dare let them win. I'm not letting you go, not now, not after everything we've just been through."

"You never used to care," Faith said, ignoring everything she'd just said, becoming lost in her own thoughts. "You never used to care about anyone else, Buffy. You were all detached and stuff, no emotion, same way I was. What the hell happened?"

"We beat the First," she whispered in reply as if that was answer enough. "That talk we had in my room, it made me see something inside myself after that. It made me realize that despite how alone I've felt I've never been alone since you came around. Maybe the real reason we never got along before is because we always pushed each other out of the way?"

"We never tried."

"What?"

"We never fucking tried, Buffy. Sure, it seemed like we tried, but it wasn't enough. It wasn't like it was after we left Sunnydale. It was..."

"Easier?" Buffy finished for her when she trailed off and let out a soft sigh as she struggled to find the right word. "It was easier after."

"And now it's really fuckin' easy and pretty fuckin' confusing too."

"How is it confusing?"

"Cos I can't just be here near you without wantin' to touch you. I feel like I always need to be touching you, feeling you...I just...god, I can't even say it."

"Say what?"

"I feel like I'm a part of you, Buffy. If I can't feel you I feel like I'm losing myself."

"Really?"

"And _that_ is as close to all that romantic crap as I'll ever get," Faith muttered, chuckling softly when she saw the perplexed look on Buffy's face. "Wasn't even really romantic."

"Faith," Buffy smiled, taking Faith's hands in her own as she stepped in front of her, "I totally get it. I really do. And it was kind of, sort of, romantic in your own little way."

"Guess it's somethin' I gotta work on, huh?"

"Also got to work on your..." Buffy smirked as Faith raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to continue.

"On my what?"

"How loose you talk," Buffy shrugged. "You didn't when you came back, then it was like all of a sudden, bam, right back to the old Faith. It's a comfort thing, isn't it? When your guard is down so is speaking proper English. Hey, we were talking about working on things, just thought that—"

"Y'know if I wasn't head over fuckin' heels in love with you right now, I'd be offended. But strangely, I'm not. Not even a little."

"Good," Buffy smiled. "And I was only teasing, Faith."

"I know."

"So, you're okay after everything that just happened up here? If you want to talk about it..."

"Nah, talkin' about it's only gonna make it worse. Rather just forget about it and move on."

"What about dealing—"

"I have dealt, B! It's all fuckin' comin' back and I've dealt with it, okay?" she snapped, shaking uncontrollably as she tried to keep her anger from exploding. "It's those goddamn voices, B. Ghosts of the past or whatever the fuck they are. They are getting to me. Again."

"I know, I know," Buffy sighed as she stroked her hands up and down Faith's arms slowly. "Come inside. I finally convinced Jackie to try to make something besides soup with the mountains of potatoes she's got."

Faith let out a short, sharp laugh, finding it impossible to refuse the pout now adorning Buffy's face. "I so fucking never wanna see or eat another goddamn potato once we get home."

"Deal."

"B?" Faith said as she stopped her from walking away. "Thank you."

"Anytime, Faith."

They shared a quick kiss before running inside, both giggling as Faith flicked the water running down her fingertips at her. How quickly everything could change just with Buffy near her, talking to her, touching her in small, innocent ways that affected her just as strongly the most intimate touches could. Jackie, as always, paid no attention to their little giggle-fest as they chased each other across the warehouse floor over to where she was by the fire. She just cast a glance towards Faith as they approached her and she began humming softly, winking at Faith as she watched her take Buffy by the hand.

"Now this," Buffy whispered as she wrapped her arms around Faith and smiled sweetly at her, "is some of that romantic 'crap' that I like."

"Ya told me that before," Faith replied just as softly, smiling right back at her. "Really do like this, B. Just, y'know, holdin' ya like this, dancing to god knows what song she's singin' over there."

"Well, in the future I'll have to keep that in mind. For those late night dances in the privacy of oh, I don't know, the living room at your apartment."

"Our apartment. If ya want...and as long as it's still mine. Who knows what's happened since we got here."

"You're asking me to live with you?"

"After all this time we spent together? Don't think I could stand bein' apart from ya for very long, B."

"Me neither," Buffy said as she leaned close to whisper it in her ear. "Plus it's not like we'd get much privacy at the house. If the others don't like it, they'll just have to deal."

"Keep wonderin' what we're gonna do with her," Faith whispered as she looked over at Jackie.

"We'll figure it out, Faith. Don't worry, okay? We'll set her up at the house and we'll all look out for her until she's okay enough to be out in the world on her own."

"Seems like ya got the answers to everything sometimes."

"Not everything and not all the time, barely even sometimes."

"But you do...sometimes," she smiled at her when Buffy scoffed. "Even when all that shit was goin' down 'fore we walked into the battle against the First, you just...shit, B, you know what you're doin' even when ya don't. You're one hell of a woman, you know that?"

"Spike said that to me."

"When?"

"When I got kicked out of the house and he found me that night. We talked and he kind of...put things in perspective for me."

"Oh. Well you are, so I guess I gotta agree with him on somethin'. But that's about it."

"We're seriously going to have to talk...about everything one day, Faith. We can't put it off forever."

"But for now?" Faith said softly, the tips of her fingers sliding under the hem of Buffy's shirt and stroking the skin there. "Can we just..."

"Be?"

"Yeah," she smiled. "Let's just be us, the way we are right here right now."

"This your way of forgetting what happened to you up on the roof, Faith?"

"Might be," she laughed and kissed away Buffy's pout. "Yeah, it is. Ya got a problem with that?"

"Not unless you stop," Buffy replied as she pulled her in for a long, passionate kiss that left them both breathless once they broke apart. "And you better keep kissing me like that."

"Oh, I plan to," Faith smirked as she twirled Buffy around before pulling her back in close, her lips instantly finding the other slayer's before the blonde could take in another breath.

Just like every time she kissed Buffy like that, she melted away, feeling only Buffy's lips upon her own lips, Buffy's tongue dancing against her own. She could feel the heat increasing between them, forcing her to pull back from the kiss, both of them just as breathless as the first had left them. She planted one last light kiss upon Buffy's lips before she pulled back and stared at her, smiling as Buffy slowly opened her eyes.

"I think you two give a whole new meaning to lovesick," Jackie chuckled from where she stood by the fire. She shook her head as she turned to watch the smoke that billowed up and out the vent above.

"I'm taking that as a compliment," Buffy said. Then muttering under her breath, "That better have been a compliment," but apparently it was just loud enough for Jackie to hear.

"It is a compliment, in my own special way. It's saying 'stop being so sweet, you're melting my heart'," she said, winking at both of them. When Faith gave her the finger, Jackie just returned the gesture with a smile, making all three of them laugh.

Faith looked back at Buffy, still quite aware they were barely moving together, barely swaying, mostly just holding, feeling, and being together. She could still hear the whispered voices, but they were less now as she got lost within the depths of Buffy's eyes. It felt too easy, far too easy, and that scared her because she knew every time things started to feel this way it all went reeling back to where she'd been before, to where the voices had control over her and brought that darkness out. Buffy reached up and tenderly stroked her cheeks, almost as if she knew exactly what was going through her mind at that moment, and just from the tender touch, the soft, loving look in her eyes, she was telling Faith to stay with her and to keep _them_ out.

They stood there for a little while longer just staring at one another. Faith felt like Buffy had become her anchor, the one thing that kept her from losing her mind completely while they were stuck there. Jackie had tried to make french-fries and surprisingly after eating nothing but potato soup they were nearly heavenly, even without any salt or the buckets of ketchup Faith liked to douse her fries in. They were more filling than the soup, but they made her taste buds crave a nice, thick, juicy burger to go along with them. She couldn't keep doing that to herself; she couldn't keep thinking of everything she'd rather eat when they had no other choice right now.

Jackie went to lie down after she put the fire out. Faith's muscles felt strained, the same way she always felt when she needed to go out and slay. She opted instead to spar with Buffy for a while, but her heart wasn't into it this time around. She ended up back up on the rooftop, but she wasn't alone. Buffy wouldn't let her go back up there alone to deal with those ghostly whispers that tried to pull out the demons she had inside of her. The rain had let up, yet the sky still was dark with that eerie orange glow that Faith had gotten quite used to seeing.

They sat on the ledge side by side, their feet dangling and banging against the bricks as their hands reached out for one another, fingers intertwining without even thinking of it. They stayed up there until the heat slipped away and the sunless sky lit up, brightening the world around them, blinding them just a little and chasing them inside. She was thinking again, just like always, but it wasn't of the voices, of the darkness, of the world they were trapped in. She thought of the future, the near and distant, and wondered how they'd end up. Would they stay together, find something more within each other? Or would they eventually drift apart when that spark died off between them?

She hoped and wished it'd never happen, but somewhere along the line she'd heard someone say that first love was called the first for a reason, there was always another bigger and greater love waiting in someone else. It hurt to think of ever having what she had with Buffy with someone else. She hated thinking about the what-ifs of the future, but it wasn't like she could stop herself. She knew Buffy was thinking the same thing nearly every day. It was only then that she suddenly asked herself if she was prepared to be at Buffy's side for the rest of her life, if she was prepared to love her with everything she had and everything she'd gain as the days went by.

The only answer she got was yes. She could and she would and she'd make sure that nothing and nobody ever came between them. But she also knew if things changed, if Buffy's feelings for her changed, she wouldn't hold her back and that she'd let her go no matter how much it killed her inside.

She held on to Buffy as the tiny slayer fell into a sound sleep. For Faith sleep was far off despite the exhaustion she felt as a result of the sweltering heat. She closed her eyes, trying to relax as much as possible, but instead she only saw blinding white light and heard a voice she hadn't heard since they were sucked into the portal. Kennedy's. She couldn't make out what she was saying, what she was asking. It frustrated her to no end, causing her to ask why she'd heard Kennedy's voice now. Was Willow close to bringing them home or was Kennedy sending out the call that they were doomed to spend whatever was left of their life stuck there?

"Go to sleep, Faith," Buffy murmured quietly.

"Tryin' to, B."

"Stop thinking," she sighed as she turned around in her arms and pushed the hair that had fallen over her eyes out of the way. "You always think way too much, Faith."

"How do you know I was thinkin'? Coulda just been layin' here listening to ya breathe."

"Don't ask me how or why, but I feel it. You become...tense. And I think it's official."

"What is?"

"We're definitely spending way too much time together if I'm picking up on all these things about you. I've never...not with anyone else...ever been able to get to that point before. Life always got in the way. Slaying always got in the way. Never had enough time just to _be_ with someone the way I have time to be with you now."

"Ain't like we got much of a choice with the whole spendin' too much time together thing, B. And I got news for ya, Twinkie," she laughed as Buffy groaned at the nickname. "Ain't gonna be any different once we get home. Always gonna make sure we're together one way or another."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, really," Faith smirked, gently nibbling on Buffy's lower lip as she pouted. "And this pouting thing ya always do, B? So don't work on me anymore."

"No? Pity," Buffy said, pouting once more and laughing as Faith leaned in to nibble her lower lip again. "But I'm serious about the thinking. You let it consume you. It shouldn't get like that."

"But it does. Just how it is, B. Been this way for a while. Granted, not _quite_ like this before, but this place has changed me, it's changed both of us."

"Did you think a lot when you first came to Sunnydale?"

"Not a lot. Always just acted before I thought. You know that. Didn't really start getting' all deep and shit 'til prison, I guess."

"But when you thought...what'd you think about?"

"You, mostly. Drove me fuckin' crazy half the time too," Faith replied with a soft laugh to show there were no hard feelings and no more lingering doubt from that time in her life. "How 'bout we try that whole sleeping thing now, B?"

"You just don't want to talk about this," Buffy whispered as she turned back around in her arms and leaned her back fully against Faith's front. Even with the heat increasing, Buffy still pulled the sheet over them and sighed softly as Faith placed a gentle kiss to the back of her neck. "We'll talk when we wake up, okay?"

Faith said nothing as she nodded her head and forced her eyes shut, pleading for sleep to come even though she knew it wouldn't any time soon. She should have told Buffy she heard Kennedy, but that was a conversation they could have once Buffy had slept and once she'd lain awake for hours just holding her while she dreamt of home, of anyplace other than where they were now. She longed to join Buffy there in her dreams, longed for home, longed for the life they had before they were brought there. She'd get it back. She knew she would. If she lost faith in ever going home, the hopelessness would consume her just as her thoughts did and those whispered voices, the ghosts of her past, would eat her alive and spit her out as who she'd been before things started to change and turn around for her.

And she'd never let that happen again. She couldn't. She'd rather leap off a cliff and fall to her death than have to go through being that Faith again.

Andrew held up the black outfit, beaming with pride as everyone stared over at him. He'd done research and found that lightweight Kevlar outfits would benefit the Slayers when it came to patrol and any battle they found themselves in. It would keep their injuries to a minimum and plus, as he put it, black was stealthy and they always needed to be stealthy.

"You expect us to willingly wear that?" Carmen asked with complete disgust. "You're out of your mind, nerd-boy."

"You aren't seeing the bigger picture," Andrew said rather calmly, much to everyone's surprise. Even Kennedy half expected him to whine about it. "I've even special-ordered a big supply. I can make the outfits for each one of you and for Buffy and Faith once they come back home."

"Andrew, as important as it is for the girls to stay as safe as they possibly can, we've got bigger issues on our hands right now," Giles said as he shifted in his chair, the heat wave and the broken air conditioner making the house nearly unbearable to be in.

"Sorry, Mr. Giles. I thought since we were having a meeting that I'd bring it up."

Kennedy grabbed the outfit, the prototype to Andrew's 'big idea', and studied it while Willow tried, once again, to explain what would happen in just a few short hours. They were going to bring Buffy and Faith home, 'try' no longer a word in any of their vocabulary. They _were_ bringing them home and everyone seemed to have complete faith that Willow would be able to pull this off without anything going wrong. She and the women in the coven had reactivated the scythe, which in turn made all the Potentials all over the world Slayers once again.

Kennedy had been growing rather impatient since feeling her Slayer strength come back. She'd even managed to connect to Faith when she got a few minutes alone that morning to meditate and reach out to her. She knew Faith had felt her, heard her, yet didn't understand her. She felt a hint of fear, of confusion, of longing, and so many more emotions when she'd reached for her. She'd noticed she was more aware of the others around her now, especially of Satsu who couldn't seem to do anything but stare at her whenever they were in the same room.

"Why do we have to wait?" Dawn asked, interrupting Willow as she strayed off the main topic of explaining what they were planning to do. "Why can't we do it now?"

"We have to prepare," Willow replied. "Althenea and the others are out gathering supplies. They want to try to teleport the portal closer, somewhere local. They think it'll be easier than trying to teleport Buffy and Faith here once we—I pull them out."

"You've had a week to prepare!"

"Dawnie," Xander said softly as he reached out and put a hand gentle on her shoulder to try to calm her down. "You know we can't rush this. We can't screw this up. I know you just want them back home. We all do. They'll be home before you know it."

"A couple more hours, Dawnie. I promise they'll be home by dinner," Willow said with a smile, hoping to reassure her of it. Carmen just scoffed and shifted where she sat on the floor, trying to get more comfortable. "Do you have a problem, Carmen?"

"Just think this whole thing is bullshit. There is no way you are going to be able to pull this off."

"Will, don't," Kennedy said as she reached out for her before she could launch herself off the couch and over at Carmen. "Don't listen to her."

"If you've got a problem, there's the door," Willow said through clenched teeth as she pointed to the front door with a shaky hand, her anger very visible to everyone in the room. "Now just shut up and listen or get out."

Kennedy smiled smugly, as did Willow, while watching Carmen stand up from the floor and storm upstairs. Willow continued explaining the plans that would happen in a few short hours. Kennedy just continued examining the lightweight Kevlar outfit Andrew had designed with the spare time on his hands and she tried not to look thoroughly impressed with the job he'd done. She flashed him a smile, not daring to interrupt Willow, and he just beamed brightly and leaned against the wall where he'd been standing. She only vaguely remembered the story about Riley Finn that Xander had told them all a few short weeks ago, but she knew that's where Andrew had gotten his idea for the outfits.

Willow was exhausted from talking when she finally finished. The briefing over, everyone went off to do their own thing. Kennedy stayed in the living room with Willow and Giles, folding the outfit and placing it on the surprisingly not cluttered coffee table.

"Kenny, I need you to try and keep Dawnie away while we do the spell later. I know she's anxious to get Buffy and Faith back, but it's dangerous for her to be around while we do this. It's dangerous for every single one of us. Anything can go wrong if concentration is broken. I could be...sucked in there and stuck there just like they are."

"I'll do whatever you need to me to," she smiled at her as she leaned in for a quick, chaste kiss.

"Thank you."

Kennedy's smile morphed into an evil grin. "I could even make sure Carmen has a brutally painful 'accident' that'll keep her in bed for at _least_ a day."

"Just let Satsu deal with her, Kenny."

"Fine."

"Giles?" Willow said as she looked over at him. "Any word on the new air conditioner yet?"

"Unfortunately for all of us, I was unable to arrange for a Sunday delivery. I'm afraid it will not be delivered until tomorrow."

Kennedy let out a quiet groan as she got up from the couch, the backs of her legs sticking to the fabric as she did so. She headed for the kitchen and grabbed a glass of ice-cold water before joining the others out in the backyard. Xander had been keeping busy, working hard even on the weekends at trying to fix the place up and make it feel more like home. Despite Xander's at times rather vehement protests, Andrew was helping him build the gazebo and it really was coming together quite nicely.

"Almost done, huh?" Kennedy asked as she walked over to Xander, who was checking a few measurements on the blueprints he'd drawn up. "What's the point of this, anyway?"

"Place to sit for some peace and quiet," he shrugged. "It's giving me something to do."

"I've convinced him to put a garden in around it," Andrew said with a goofy smile as he picked up one of the long boards and handed it to Xander without having to be asked. "Someone told me that home is where you make it and that you need to make your house feel like home. This is just one thing that's going to make it feel like home."

"If you say so," Kennedy laughed as she walked over to join the others under the shade of the tree.

"Are you nervous?" Dawn asked her before she could even sit down. "What if Willow can't pull this off?"

"She'll bring them home, Dawn. Don't worry so much. It's not like she's doing this alone," Kennedy replied, fighting back the urge to slap some sense into Dawn since she was really beginning to get on her last nerve. "Everything is going to be okay again, you'll see."

"I knew coming here, all of us coming here, would be one big giant mistake."

"It wasn't a mistake. Things happen. Some dumbass vampire just wanted her soul back and caused all this shit because of it. It would have happened no matter if we were all together or apart, here or somewhere else. It's just the way things are, Dawn."

"Destiny, fate, yadda yadda, I've heard it all before."

"Why are you so...bitter, Dawn? Don't you have any faith in Willow?"

"Oh I do, I just—"

"Then stop with the whole bitch attitude with an extra dose of negativity. It isn't going to help," Kennedy spat at her and breathed in deeply, still fighting the urge to slap Dawn hard across the face. "Everything will be back to normal by tonight. Buffy and Faith will be home and we can all stop worrying about them so much and go on with our lives."

"You think they'll come back the same?"

"Why wouldn't they?"

"Angel told me that when you spend some time in another dimension it changes you."

"They'll still be Buffy and Faith, Dawn."

"How can you be so sure about that?"

"Because I've seen them," Kennedy whispered, getting her looks from Satsu and Amber. "I was having flashes and I kept seeing them, well, I saw Faith anyway. They're fine, Dawnie."

"How come you never told us you've seen them before?"

"I told Willow and Giles. We thought it'd be better to keep it between us."

"But that's my sister! I have every right to know these things!"

Kennedy just rubbed her throbbing temples as she felt the onset of a major headache begin to creep in. With Carmen acting like the royal bitch that she was, having to deal with Dawn like this was about to make her head explode. She was growing impatient herself, wanting Buffy and Faith to be brought home as soon as possible so life could go on the way it should. Buffy would be in charge of their little group of Slayers and Faith would be right there at her side leading with her. In Kennedy's mind, things would go just as Giles planned for things to end up, but she knew in reality things could end up very differently.

Worse come to worst, Buffy and Faith could end up taking off, doing their own thing once they were back home and leaving them all to deal with things as they had been trying to deal in the last month. Giles wanted to start up a training school for the Slayers that were age fourteen through eighteen. He wanted them to learn how to fight properly, smartly, to keep themselves from being killed and he wanted Buffy and Faith to lead them. Kennedy knew Faith by herself would blow it off, but she wasn't so sure what Buffy would do. There were so many different ways life could go from here on out, but the only way she wanted to accept was the one where things would go back to exactly the way they were before Buffy and Faith were sucked into the portal.

Kennedy knew she'd stay on with Giles and the others no matter what ended up happening between her and Willow. She hoped that once Buffy and Faith were back home she and Willow would have a chance to find the happiness between them again, to find the love that seemed to disappear with every passing day. She stopped rubbing her temples, hardly realizing she'd closed her eyes until she opened them to find Satsu staring right at her while Dawn and Amber talked quietly.

"You okay, Kennedy?"

"I'm fine, Satsu. Headache. Must be the heat," she replied, shrugging it off as if it was nothing.

"Would you like me to go inside and get you another glass of ice water?" Satsu asked softly, but Kennedy just shook her head no. "Are you sure?"

"I said I'm fine. A little stressed out about the spell Willow and the women from the coven are going to be doing, but it'll pass."

"Stressed?" Dawn interjected and shook her head as she laughed almost cruelly. "I knew it. I knew I wasn't the only one worried that Willow isn't going to be able to pull this off even with the women from the coven here to help."

"Dawn?" Kennedy said through clenched teeth as she really tried to keep herself from lunging at the youngest Summers. "Shut the fuck up before I _make_ you shut the fuck up."

"Make me," Dawn shot at her as she stuck out her tongue and she was up and running over to Xander and Andrew before Kennedy could blink.

"If she wasn't Buffy's sister..." Kennedy muttered under her breath and caught Satsu smirking at her. "What?"

"Nothing. It's just, everyone is stressed out as it is and yet," she waved her hand idly in the air as she looked like she was struggling to find the right words, "it just seems like no matter what, there's always some kind of joke, some silliness or fighting going on that just...I don't know, makes it all seem normal."

"Well, this is as normal as life for all of us is ever going to get," Kennedy replied with a sigh. "Have I told you that I'm kinda glad you and Amber are here?"

"What about Carmen?" Satsu asked, chuckling when Kennedy made a face and Amber only laughed softly. "That's what I thought. I'm not too happy she's here either, but we were called and we've been trained most of our lives to go with our calling."

"Weren't things better when we didn't know about the things that went bump in the night?" Kennedy asked and then she realized just to whom she was talking. "Guess you really wouldn't know, right?"

"Sometimes I think it'd be better if we didn't," Satsu shrugged. "But then there are other times where it's almost comforting to know what we are, what's out there, and that we can kick their asses no matter if we have the strength or not."

Sometimes Kennedy really was glad that Satsu was around. Something about her just made her feel at ease, no matter what situation they found themselves in, day in and day out. It was something that made her constantly question her own feelings towards the girl; something that just kept getting murkier as she spent more time with her. It made her feel guilty when she climbed into bed with Willow at night too and held her when Willow asked her to. Sometimes , though, when Satsu just _looked_ at her she felt a fire burning deep inside, a fire she'd never felt with anyone before.

And it made her wonder if it was a Slayer thing or a Satsu thing? Was the slayer essence jump-starting something that wasn't naturally there, or was she really that drawn to the Asian slayer? How did Buffy and Faith figure all this out? So many damn questions.

She really couldn't wait for Buffy and Faith to come home.


	30. Chapter 30

Everyone in the house had grown tense as soon as the women from the coven arrived with all the necessary ingredients they needed for the spell to retrieve Buffy and Faith from inside the portal. Everyone was under strict instructions not to enter the house until they were called inside. Dawn was the only one not sitting, constantly pacing around the backyard while the others lounged under the tree or sat at the picnic table. Xander sat across from Kennedy and they both had a bottle of beer in front of them, both untouched and sweating in the late afternoon heat. Satsu, Carmen, and Amber lay on the grass under the tree and Andrew, who had been sitting at the picnic table at first, soon joined Dawn in pacing, wearing down a dirt trail in the dry grass.

"How long is this going to take?" Dawn asked, nearly shrieking as she gave up and sat down next to Xander. "Did they say how long it's going to take?"

"No," Xander replied calmly as he turned to look at her. "Don't worry, Dawnie. Everything is going to be okay. Just relax."

"Relax? How can anyone relax when they are inside doing god knows what kind of a spell to bring them home!"

Kennedy tried to drown out the shrillness of Dawn's voice as best as she could as she picked at the label on her bottle for a moment before taking a sip. Angel was supposed to be arriving before midnight. He wanted to be there when Buffy and Faith returned home in case they needed a more 'understanding' shoulder to cry on. Kennedy didn't understand why he wanted to be there. It wasn't as if they had been sent to a Hell dimension. Not like the one she'd been told by Willow that Angel had been sent to when Buffy had killed him. Kennedy didn't like Angel despite him being on the side of the good. The last time he'd been there, there was just something so..._off_ about him.

Or maybe she was just reading way too much into everything, feeling the stress just as everyone else was and allowing it to get to her. The Satsu thing was throwing her off, majorly, and she wasn't sure how to deal with it without hurting Willow in the process. If she and Willow couldn't fix whatever had been going wrong between them, someone was bound to end up getting hurt one way or another.

Everyone fell silent as Giles came outside and slowly closed the back door behind him, letting out a heavy sigh as he walked across the yard and sat down at the picnic table. Although Kennedy didn't know Giles nearly as well as the others did, she knew that look on his face, the look that said he was having serious doubts and was seriously worried. And when Giles got that look that was the cue for everyone to feel that way as well. Dawn was the first to panic and it took Xander running his hand up and down her back lovingly, soothingly, while whispering to her that everything was going to be okay to keep her from a full blown wig-out.

"What's going on?" Kennedy asked Giles, breaking the thick tension that hung in the air heavier than the heat itself. "Giles?"

"They're working on it," he muttered under his breath. "They kicked me out and told me that everything was going to be okay."

"See, Dawnie?" Xander said with a forced smile. "I told you everything is going to be okay."

"But Giles has Worry Face. It's just as bad as Willow's Resolve Face!"

"Dawn," Giles said calmly as he let out a heavy sigh. "We don't have time for this nonsense. They are working on it right now. They've managed to bring the portal right into the living room."

"And?" Dawn asked frantically as she pushed Xander's hand away from her. "Why did they kick you out?"

"So I wasn't in the way. I wasn't necessarily kicked out, per se, more like asked to leave rather forcefully by Althenea. She said it was dangerous for me to be near when they open the portal. They still aren't sure what is going to happen once they do."

Even in the bright late afternoon sun, they could now see the glow emanating from inside the house. Now all they had to do was wait. It's all they'd been doing since the day Buffy and Faith had been sucked inside the portal.

Buffy was circling her, laughing every time Faith tried to make a move only to end up missing her completely. They'd been going at it for what felt like hours and it wasn't just the hot muggy air that was making them sweat. The sparring—though at the moment it more resembled a game of keep-away—was making its own contribution to their perspiration. Jackie was watching them, pure amusement written over her face every time Faith lunged forward only to find herself nearly falling face first on the dusty cement floor.

"Come on, B. This ain't fair!"

"Nobody said it had to be fair," Buffy chuckled as Faith lunged for her and failed yet again, and this time she did fall face first down on the floor. "But it sure is fun."

Faith grumbled as she picked herself up off the floor and dusted off her clothes. "Fun for you, maybe," she muttered under her breath, finding it hard to fight back the smile as Buffy laughed yet again in response.

Hearing and seeing Buffy so carefree, so happy, made every inch of her tingle in a way she thought she only could when she was on the brink of climax. She'd never seen Buffy like this before, not until they'd been brought there—and after the initial fear had worn off, of course. She knew she'd never been happy like this either and she didn't want that to end once they were finally back home. She snapped out of her thoughts, unable to wipe the smile off her face as Buffy motioned for her to come get her.

Faith tried again to tackle her, this time moving too quickly for Buffy to react, and they both tumbled to the floor, both laughing as Buffy struggled and wriggled beneath her, trying to get free. If it hadn't been for the sound of Jackie trying to stifle her own laughter, they would have forgotten they weren't quite alone and things would have definitely gotten out of hand between them. It was far too easy now for both of them to suddenly decide to have their naughty way with each other, pretty much whenever they damn well pleased. Buffy launched Faith off of her, flipped up to her feet, and they both began the tedious task of circling each other once again.

"You two are like children, very stubborn," Jackie said as she tried to keep a straight face. "You two are both of equal strength and speed and yet," she waved her hand in the air as she shook her head, "you always think you're one step ahead of the game when you are of an equal match."

"Equal?" Faith scoffed. "B ain't playin' fair here, how the hell is that equal?"

"Again with the fair," Buffy chuckled as she reached out and playfully swatted at Faith. "Nobody ever said we had to play fair, F."

"Be nice to have some kinda rules for a change."

"You are just bitter because you can't get me," Buffy smirked and stuck out her tongue as Faith managed to grab onto her hand and pulled her close. "Well, I let you get me that time. It doesn't count."

"Ya tryin' to be cute, B?"

"Who, me?"

"Yes, you," Faith laughed at the way Buffy tried to keep that 'I'm innocent' look on her face and failed miserably as she slowly licked over her lips, waiting for the kiss she knew was coming. "Nuh uh."

"What?"

"I know what ya want."

"What's that?" Buffy asked as she cocked her head slightly to the side.

"Ya want me to give in, give ya a kiss so I'm all distracted 'n shit so you can win."

"Win? Who said it was about winning?"

"B? Patience. It's wearin' thin here," she said with a half-hearted chuckle as she let go of Buffy and took a couple steps back. "Come on, let's dance and do it right."

"Do it _fair_, you mean?"

"Like children," Jackie muttered as she got up from the crate she was sitting on and headed for the back door. "When you two are finished playing, I could use some help with those buckets outside. They should be nearly full by now."

"Sure, give me five minutes," Buffy laughed as she swept Faith's feet from under her the second she looked away. "Or half a second."

Faith just groaned as Buffy smiled smugly down at her before walking away without even offering to help her up. She felt it then—a shift, but not like the shifts they'd gotten used to there. It was a shift denoting change was coming and it was coming soon. She made no effort to move, every muscle in her body not quite aching the way she'd like, but tired and sore nonetheless. She closed her eyes at the sound of Jackie and Buffy laughing outside and it didn't take her any second guesses as to just what they were laughing at either.

Everything had become eerily quiet as the light glowed brighter inside the house. The birds that had been chirping happily as they nestled in the trees had suddenly disappeared. The sounds of the city—cars driving by, horns honking, sirens blaring in the distance—had fallen away. Dawn had even quieted down, leaning into Xander as he slipped an arm almost protectively around her. Kennedy took that moment to look around at the others, lingering on Giles the longest, watching as the worry lines on his face deepened with every second that ticked by.

Her eyes roamed over to Satsu, who was looking over at the house just like everyone else, but almost as soon as she looked over at her Satsu had turned to look right back, smiling a little as their eyes met and lingered for a very long moment. The once sweet smile quickly turned into a very lascivious grin and it made Kennedy's whole body tingle in a way she was quickly getting used to when it came to Satsu. In those dark brown eyes of hers there were hidden promises of what could come between them if only she let it. Satsu had a naughty side to her, a kinky side, and just by staring into her eyes Kennedy could see past the mask she wore, right into her very soul, and just _feel_ every last one of her desires, her needs, her wants, her fantasies.

"What's happening?" Dawn whispered as a slight rumble began to shake the ground. It pulled Kennedy out of the daze she'd fallen into with Satsu and her own worry and fear took over.

"She's got it open," Giles replied quietly as he slowly removed his glasses and blinked a couple of times as the light became impossibly brighter. "It's happening now."

"Faith?" Buffy called out as the ground began to shake and the sky began to light up brighter than it'd ever been in the entire time they'd been there. "Faith!"

"Still inside, B!" Faith yelled out, barely heard over the ferocious roar of the ground shaking violently beneath them. She struggled to get up from the floor and made it to the doorway. She got there just in time to see the buildings around them sway violently, most of them crumbling within seconds. "B, we gotta get outta here!"

"Jackie, she's..." Buffy gasped as she grabbed onto Faith and forced her to look over at where Jackie lay on the ground unconscious. "She just collapsed."

"Something hit her?"

"No, she just...as soon as the rumbling started she fell."

"Shit," Faith said under her breath as she pushed past Buffy and ran over towards Jackie. She lifted her up with ease and frantically looked around as the blinding brightness made it impossible for her to see Buffy even though she knew she was only a few feet away. "Buffy, we seriously gotta fuckin' get outta here, now!"

Buffy reached her just as the warehouse crumbled to the ground. "Go _where_, Faith? Where the hell are we going to go?"

Faith suddenly felt like every last emotion she'd ever experienced in her entire life was now running through her. She sank slowly to her knees, careful not to drop the unconscious Jackie, feeling Buffy kneeling down next to her, shaking in fear just as she was. Over and over she told herself she didn't need to fear anything, that she was a Slayer and that she was more than that. She was a strong woman and she finally realized that and it would be pathetic and useless for her to forget it all now and give in to the fear that seemed to be the one emotion pulling at her more than the others.

With the ground moving as violently as it was beneath them, she found herself shaking as Buffy wrapped her arms around her almost as if she was trying to protect her, though she was telling herself she didn't need to be protected. Not even from herself and the emotions running rampant through her, ripping through her as if they were trying to pull her apart from the inside out.

"It's gonna be okay," Faith whispered to herself, unable to let her inner voice talk over all the other voices she heard in her head. "It's gonna be okay. It'll be over in a minute. Everything is gonna be okay."

"Faith—"

"It's gonna be okay, right? Tell me it's gonna be okay, B."

"It'll be okay," she said soothingly as she kissed the side of her head and held on tighter. "It'll be okay, Faith."

Willow was chanting softly along with the women surrounding her and the portal. She had her eyes shut tightly, tears forming as she finally saw Buffy and Faith along with an older woman huddled together and surrounded by collapsing buildings. She was struggling to hold herself together, feeling the power coursing through her body and making her feel slightly lightheaded.

"Buffy!" she called out for her, hoping she'd hear her. "Buffy?"

"Will?"

"Buffy, hold onto them, I'm pulling you out!"

"Now?"

"No, tomorrow. Yes, now!"

Willow tried not to laugh so as not to break her concentration. She had one chance to pull them out before the world inside the portal collapsed within itself. She could feel Althenea as she reached out, channelling more strength, more power to her as she began to chant softly again, watching as Buffy, Faith, and the woman Faith held onto began to lift up from the ground. She had to keep her concentration. If it slipped, they'd fall back to the earth and she knew from the distance they were at now, they wouldn't survive a fall like that and she wouldn't be able to gather enough strength to try to pull them back out again.

The bright light began to fade and everyone sat there, unable to move, barely able to breathe. Kennedy, Satsu, and the other two Slayers could feel the power, the magic, coming from inside throughout every inch of their bodies and souls. It was empowering and Kennedy finally was getting a taste of what it felt like for Willow, finally understanding just how she felt and why she was so wary about doing magic most of the time.

She barely noticed that Satsu had moved from sitting beneath the tree to sitting next to her on the bench. They were all nervous, not knowing just what was happening inside, and she tensed when Satsu casually grabbed onto her hand and intertwined their fingers. Out of the corner of her eye, since she dared not turn to look at her, she could see her smiling, just a little.

"Is it over yet?" Dawn asked as the light began to fade, the slight rumbling stopped, and the sounds of the city began once again. "Is it over?"

"I am not sure," Giles replied quietly.

"It's over," Xander said as he pointed to Althenea as she slowly opened the back door. "It's finally over. They're home!"

"Stay outside," Giles said as he got up and headed for the house. "Nobody sets foot in this house until I say so."

Faith was shivering, unable to open her eyes or let go of both Buffy and Jackie. She knew they were home, they were finally home, but the fear she'd been feeling was wreaking havoc on her body. There was something else happening to her, she could feel it burning inside of her, and she forced open her eyes, blinking when she saw a group of women she'd never seen before and Willow kneeling on the floor trying to get Buffy to open her eyes.

"Shit," Faith muttered softly as she gently moved Jackie and laid her across the floor. "What the fuck was that?"

"I brought you home," Willow said softly as the women from around them backed away slowly to give them some air. "You're home. Everything is going to be okay now."

"Faith?" Buffy whispered as she clutched onto her tightly, ignoring Willow completely. "Faith?"

"B," she whispered back, watching as Buffy slowly opened her eyes. "You okay?"

"Yes," she said softly, shaking just as badly as Faith was. "I'm okay."

"Who is this?" Willow asked as she went to check on Jackie. "Faith, who is this?"

"My mother," she replied in a hoarse whisper. "My _real_ mother."

Faith felt so cold. She pulled Buffy closer to her, afraid to let go, and they both watched as Willow and two of the other women lifted Jackie and placed her on the couch. Neither of them could move from where they sat on the floor and Faith knew Buffy was just as afraid as she was that this wasn't real, that they weren't really home. It felt too easy, way too easy. Faith couldn't help but wonder—if it really was that easy, why didn't Willow try to bring them home sooner?

The other women left the room when Giles walked in. He looked like he was about to cry as Buffy let go of Faith and stood up slowly. Faith could hardly move as she watched him throw his arms around Buffy, tears streaming down his cheeks as he held onto her tightly. Willow knelt down next to Faith and placed a hand on her shoulder, forcing her to look away from the happy little reunion between Buffy and Giles.

"Faith, I need for you two to tell me what it was like where you were."

"Not now," Faith said as she shook her head and let Willow help her to her feet. "We're really home?"

"Yes," Willow laughed softly. "You are really home, Faith."

"Shit, why is it so cold?" She shivered. Willow laughed again as she wrapped her arms around her and hugged her tightly for a split second before backing away quickly once she realized just whom she was hugging. "Seriously, why the fuck is it so cold?"

"It's not," Willow replied. "We're in the middle of a heat wave. It must be a side effect from pulling you out of there. It'll pass."

Faith moved away from her as Buffy let go of Giles and walked to stand next to her, their hands instantly finding each other's as Xander, Dawn, and Kennedy ran inside. They were both nearly tackled by Dawn as she reached them first and Xander and Kennedy were right there a second later, their arms around them in one big hug. Buffy was crying tears of happiness, holding onto Dawn and Xander and looking like she never wanted to let go. Faith managed to get out of the group hug and instead found Kennedy's arms instantly around her. She let out a soft laugh as Kennedy held onto her tightly, Slayer tight, and she had to pry her arms from around her just so she could breathe.

Faith quickly found herself being pulled back into the group hug by Xander. She looked over at Giles as he watched the scene unfold until Jackie began to awake and he knelt down next to her. After what felt like forever, the group hug ended, the last of the tears of happiness finally stopping. That happiness she'd seen in Buffy before was still there, but there was something different now. She didn't have time to dwell on it since all attention was now on Jackie and the soft murmurs from everyone asking who she was and why she'd come back with Buffy and Faith.

"Faith?" Buffy whispered as she moved close to her again. "We're really home, aren't we?"

"Yeah, looks like."

"Why does it feel..."

"Different? Dunno, B."

Buffy sighed, shivering almost uncontrollably as she slid her arms around Faith and buried her face in her neck. A huge wave of exhaustion hit Faith and she had to struggle to stay on her feet and not just fall to the floor. Being pulled out of that dimension they'd been stuck in had taken a lot out of her and for the first time in what felt like forever she couldn't hear the voices in her head any longer. Faith just closed her eyes and held on to Buffy, not ready to let go and not quite ready to face being back home just yet.

Faith felt cornered as everyone started asking questions at once. She just held tightly onto Buffy, feeling her hot tears against her neck as Buffy tried to stop crying. Giles made everyone leave and then motioned for the two of them to sit down next to a very delusional Jackie who sat there mumbling incoherently to herself. Giles let out a soft sigh as he sat down on the coffee table and stared over at them, looking as if he wasn't sure what to say or where to start.

"How long?" Buffy asked softly as she wiped away her tears and leaned into Faith as they both sat back on the couch. "How long were we there, Giles?"

"Thirty days."

"A month? I knew it," Buffy groaned as she looked over at Faith. "I knew it."

"How are you feeling?" Giles asked.

"Tired," Buffy replied without taking her eyes off of Faith. "Very, very tired."

"I won't expect you to tell me everything that happened there right away," he continued. "I know it's been a very long month for you two. It has been for us as well. But, I would like to know who this woman is."

"My mother," Faith said softly as she looked over at him. "Kind of a long story."

"Isn't your mother—"

"Dead? No, the woman who I thought was my mother is dead. Like I said," she said as she let out a deep breath, "it's a long fuckin' story, Giles."

"Is she all right?"

Faith looked over at Jackie next to her. She was rocking back and forth, muttering to herself and her eyes brimming with tears. She still couldn't stop shivering and she only had one thing on her mind at the moment—taking a very long, very hot shower and getting dressed in clean clothes. She could see Dawn hovering in the doorway that led to the kitchen, watching them. When neither of them said a word after a few long minutes, Giles removed his glasses and let out a heavy sigh.

"There are a lot of things we need to talk to you two about," Giles said quietly as he snapped his fingers at Dawn, stopping her cold as she tried to walk back into the living room. "It is still too soon to determine what physical or psychological changes you may have experienced, though I am certain there will be at least some after-effects. However, at the moment I know you two must be very tired and in need of a very long, very hot shower."

Faith chuckled softly at the bemused look on Giles' face as he spoke slowly. As each minute passed, the shivering began to subside and Faith no longer felt as cold as she had when Willow had first pulled them out of the portal and deposited them, rather gently, on the floor of the living room. Andrew came into the living room carrying a tray with glasses of ice-cold water and a few sandwiches. Before he could even place the tray down on the coffee table, and almost before Giles had even moved out of the way, both Buffy and Faith lunged for the sandwiches, nearly inhaling them as they disappeared in just a few quick bites.

"Giles, are they...okay?" Faith heard Dawn ask him from where she still stood hovering in the doorway. "They came back normal, right?"

"They are fine. Exhausted and perhaps a little shaken up, but they appear to be perfectly fine."

"Andy," Faith said with a mouthful of the peanut butter and jelly sandwich. "Feel like whippin' up a few more o' these for us? Fuckin' starving."

"I can make you two anything you want," he replied with a big smile. "I'll even order you pizza, wings, a bucket of chicken, Chinese food, whatever you want. Name it and I'll get it."

Faith's stomach growled loudly and Buffy just giggled as she grabbed the last sandwich off the plate. Faith broke off half of her sandwich and offered it to Jackie. She got a puzzled look in return, just for a moment, before Jackie took the half of the sandwich and took a small, tentative bite.

"Order everything ya can, Andy," Faith said to him, smiling sweetly as she reached for one of the glasses of ice-cold water.

"What is her name?" Giles asked calmly as he walked back over to them and handed the cordless phone to Andrew.

"Jackie," Faith replied with her mouth full and was elbowed by Buffy hard in the side. "What?"

"Was she like this there?" Giles asked, stifling a laugh at the way Buffy had elbowed Faith.

"She was a little off, yeah," Faith nodded her head slowly. "Not like this, though."

"It must be a shock to her system. Have you any idea how long she'd been there?"

"Giles?" Buffy said as she stopped Faith from answering him. "Can we talk about this later?"

"We can indeed. What do you want to do with Jackie?"

"Get her settled in, cleaned up and fed. I'm going to have a shower. A very, very long shower," Buffy said as she stood up slowly, pulling Faith with her. Faith just shoved the last of her sandwich in her mouth as Buffy pulled her towards the stairs. "She'll be fine," she said softly when Faith stopped to look back over at Jackie. "We'll all take care of her."

"Not what I'm worried about," Faith replied with a sigh as Buffy began to pull her up the stairs.

"Then what is it?"

"I dunno," she shrugged, finally giving in and following Buffy up the stairs and into the bathroom. "She seems really out of it, B. Feels kinda weird to leave her down there with everyone."

"She'll be fine. Giles will make sure of it."

Faith just nodded her head and leaned against the bathroom door, locking it as she watched Buffy walk over to the shower stall and turn on the water. The last thing she should be thinking about was fucking Buffy in the shower under the hot spray of the water, but as she watched Buffy strip out of her clothes it suddenly became the one and only thing on her mind. Everything else she should be thinking about, worrying about, just fluttered away as she stripped out of her own clothes and joined Buffy in the shower.

"God, this feels so good," Buffy moaned out softly as Faith stood behind her and wrapped her arms around her.

"Guess ya don't know what you're missin' out on 'til ya don't have it anymore, huh?"

Buffy just turned around in her arms, smiling a little before she planted a quick yet sweet kiss upon her lips. "After we shower and eat until we feel like we're about to burst, we'll talk to Giles and tell him everything we can about where we were. Then after all is said and done, we'll get some sleep, okay?"

"For sure, B. God," she sighed as she furrowed her brow and stared down into her eyes, "when Willow was pullin' us outta there…don't think I've ever felt that fucking scared before. Wasn't sure what the hell was goin' on."

"You weren't the only one," Buffy whispered softly, kissing her once more before they switched spots under the hot, steady spray of water. "I really can't believe we're home, we're safe, and we're together..."

"Aren't ya happy we're home?"

"Of course I am. What makes you think that I'm not?"

"Life was...easier there, B. I know it and you know it. Now we're back to the way things were before," Faith said softly as she gently moved Buffy's wet hair away from her face. "You can feel the change comin', can't ya?"

"I feel something," Buffy quipped as she reached down and playfully pinched Faith's ass.

"B," Faith chuckled as she reached for her hands and pulled them away. "Be serious for a sec here. Gotta feelin' somethin's different. Giles said something about physical and psychological changes. You don't feel it, do ya?"

"I don't know. Maybe I feel a little...stronger? Tired and absolutely starving are kinda blanking out anything else."

"Forget it," Faith said as she reached for the shampoo bottle off the small shelf.

They didn't say another word as they showered slowly, savouring every last drop of hot water that streamed over their bodies. There were a few long, passionate kisses shared, soft caresses and long gazes they'd gotten so used to sharing between them in the last month. Faith didn't want any of that to change. She needed Buffy that way; she needed to be near her, touching her, kissing her whenever she felt the need to. She'd never needed someone as badly as she needed Buffy, even now that they were back home; it hadn't lessened in any way, shape or form.

After getting dressed, they went downstairs to join the others and found them all out in the backyard with Jackie, a spread of food that Andrew had ordered laid out over the picnic table. Everyone was full of questions and both Buffy and Faith did their best to answer each and every one of them between mouthfuls of food they'd only dreamt of in the last month. Faith kept looking down at Jackie, watching her as she grew more comfortable being around so many new faces. She and Giles were talking quietly among themselves while Dawn and Willow kept asking Buffy questions about what it was like where they'd been.

Faith was amazed at how everything had just fallen into place in the few hours since they'd been brought back home. It nearly felt like they hadn't left at all in some ways. She looked around at everyone, at the women from the coven in England, at the new Slayers that sat under the tree with Kennedy and Andrew. She grabbed the beer that sat unopened in front of her and the last slice of pizza out of the box and got up, smiling down at Buffy when she stopped midsentence to look up at her. She let Buffy pull her down for a quick kiss before she walked over to join Kennedy and the others under the tree.

"You two are sure all loved up," Kennedy said quietly, smirking as Faith barely reacted. "I'm guessing since you two had a lot of time to do nothing while you were stuck in that dimension that you did nothing but fuck, right?"

"None of your business, Ken."

"I knew it."

Faith laughed, punching Kennedy in the leg as she leaned back against the tree. "Well, what the fuck else was we supposed to do? Play imaginary card games or some shit? Besides," Faith said as she watched Buffy, unable to stop turning to look at her every couple of seconds, "that wasn't all we did there."

"Well, I'm just glad you two are back home safe and sound," Kennedy smiled as they both raised their beers and clinked them together. "We were all pretty worried about you two. Guess we really didn't need to be after all. From the way you two described it, didn't sound nearly half as bad as we thought it was for you there."

"Definitely not my choice for a vacation spot," Faith said, smirking when the three other Slayers laughed in agreement with her and Kennedy. "So, catch me up on what's been goin' on around here. Curious about the sitch since we've been gone."

She was trying to keep her mood stable, her spirits up, and a smile on her face. She _was_ happy to be home, but something was seriously bothering her. She tried to listen and pay attention as Kennedy told her very vaguely about the out of control vampire and demon population, about how they were working with Perry, Marshall, and a few other guys that had worked for Sam in trying to control it. She caught that much out of the babble that spewed from Kennedy's mouth, but her eyes and her mind wandered back to Buffy and she watched her as she talked animatedly with Willow and Dawn.

"Faith, are you even paying attention?" Kennedy asked, the irritation very clear in her voice.

"Yeah, what?"

"I asked you if you and Buffy are going to start coming out on patrol with us again or if you're gonna wait a little while?"

"Might as well jump right in, get back to the way things were," Faith replied, her eyes not once leaving Buffy as she spoke. "Or...maybe give us a couple days."

Kennedy raised an eyebrow at her before she continued talking, but her voice faded from Faith's ears as soon as Buffy turned to look at her. All she could see was Buffy and all she could hear was Buffy as she spoke quietly to Dawn. She just sipped her beer, nodding her head every once in a while to make it look like she was listening to Kennedy, and when her beer was finished she got up and motioned for Buffy to follow her inside. Buffy didn't follow her right away so she stood by the edge of the counter, breathing heavily as she waited for her to come inside.

"Is there something wrong, Faith?" Buffy asked as she stepped inside and closed the back door behind her. "Faith?"

"Just needed to get away for a few minutes. It's too much."

Buffy nodded her head slowly, understanding exactly what Faith was getting at. It was too much all at once, to be brought back home and to slip into the fold as if they'd never been gone in the first place. Buffy stepped in front of her, smiling a little as their arms instantly found their way around each other. Faith couldn't tear her eyes away from Buffy's as she fought the urge to just grab Buffy and take off for the apartment.

"What are you thinking?" Buffy asked softly as she lifted a hand and gently ran her fingers over Faith's furrowed brow. "You want to leave right now, don't you? Tell you what," she paused to deliver a deliciously sweet kiss and pulled back from a rather stunned Faith with a smile, "we stay here for tonight and tomorrow we'll go to the apartment, okay?"

"That was kinda freaky, B. Ya just pretty much read my mind."

"Nah," she laughed as she moved her arms from around Faith's waist and loosely draped them over her shoulders and neck. "I just learned how to read you really, really well."

"And what am I thinkin' 'bout right now?" Faith asked, smirking as she slowly licked over her lips.

Buffy only answered her with a wildly passionate kiss. As it had every time their lips met lately, everything else just fell away until the only thing her mind was set on was Buffy. She knew it was almost dangerous to let Buffy consume her that way, but it was all she wanted right then and there.


	31. Chapter 31

Being home was comparatively easy to get used to. Having ten times the strength they once had was an entirely different story. It happened shortly after Angel had shown up around midnight and Faith had been sitting on the counter listening as he, Buffy, and Giles talked quietly at the table. She was listening, just barely, but her eyes were burning holes in Buffy's back and her hands were clenched tightly at her sides. She gripped the edge of the counter and a piece broke right off without her realizing her own strength. The granite grumbled in her hands as she stared down at it with wide eyes.

"Uh, shit," she muttered under her breath, brushing off the granite dust from her hands as the others looked over at her with pretty much the same expression she had on her own face. "Accident?"

"Is there any reason why you just attacked the counter?" Angel asked when nobody else said a word. "Faith?"

"No way, just was sittin' here mindin' my own business, y'know? Shit just broke."

"Granite doesn't just break," Angel said rather calmly. He watched Buffy slowly approach Faith as soon as she slid off the broken counter.

Buffy stopped when she reached her and casually bent down to pick up a piece of the counter that had fallen to the floor. She closed her fist around it, and with very little effort and it crumbled in her own hands. She just gave Faith a look before she turned to face the others, wiping her hand on her jean shorts as she let out a soft sigh.

"I think we have a problem. There's no way I should have been able to do that without even trying."

"We had our suspicions that the two of you might come back with additional strength," Giles said as he leaned back in his chair and picked up his cup of tea. "Since it is rather late and I'm sure you both would like to get some rest, we shall wait until morning to study the magnitude of your newfound strength increase."

"Great, thanks," Faith said as she quickly moved to the door only to find Buffy moving that much quicker and blocking the entrance before she even got there. "What gives, B?"

"Don't you want to find out what's going on with us?"

"Course I do. Kinda beat, though. Could use some sleep," she replied softly, crossing her arms over her chest when Buffy didn't move a muscle. "Look, B. So we've got more strength, big fuckin' deal."

"It is a big deal," Angel said as he motioned for the two of them to come over and sit at the table. "I've done some reading since you two were sucked inside that portal. There are a few theories—"

"Great, tell me in the morning," Faith said and she moved to get back up from her chair, stopping when Buffy reached out and gripped onto her thigh to keep her there. "What the fuck? I'm exhausted and I'm sure whatever it is can fuckin' wait 'til the morning."

"One theory," Angel continued, ignoring Faith's restlessness and urgency to get out of there as quickly as possible, "is that the magic Willow and the others used to pull you out, along with using the spell on the scythe once again, has somehow managed to channel the essence of all the past Slayers that ever lived."

"It isn't a theory," Giles spoke up as he placed his cup of tea down on the table. "We discussed this a few days ago. This was supposed to happen."

"So you knew this would happen and still you risked it?" Angel asked, keeping outwardly calm, but even Faith could see he was angry and even a little upset. "I know you all wanted to bring them home, but you have no idea what you're dealing with."

"Two very powerful Slayers?" Buffy offered, fighting off the smirk when Giles and Angel both glared at her. "Well, we are. More so than usual."

"Y'know, I really can't wait to get out there and test of this newfound strength. Kick some vamp and demon ass, make 'em run scared when they realize they _really_ don't have a chance against us now," Faith grinned as she stretched her arms over her head for a moment before casually dropping one around Buffy's shoulders. "'Course, that's after we get some sleep and do whatever testing you wanna put us through."

"Is this dangerous?" Buffy asked Angel, her hand still on Faith's thigh but no longer gripping it tightly as she had been before. "Is it dangerous for us?"

"It will be until you learn how to control it," he replied, his eyes darting back and forth between the two of them. "We can't be sure, but I'm thinking not even the first Slayer had the kind of strength you two just might possess now."

"You said one theory," Faith said as she stared over across the table at Angel. "What're the others?"

"That you two wouldn't be able to adjust to being back home too easily, but from the looks of it, that doesn't seem to be a problem."

"That it?"

"That's it," Angel nodded in reply. "Up until five minutes ago I was starting to think I didn't really need to be here. Now I'm thinking it's probably best that I am."

They talked for a little while longer, discussing a way to test their strength in the morning. Faith only half listened as she traced small circles over the back of Buffy's neck in time to the small circles Buffy traced over her thigh and knee. Buffy's touch was calming her when she knew any other time a situation like that would have made her very tense.

Faith had a feeling things weren't going to be all 'fine and dandy' as Willow had colourfully put it earlier that evening. Sure the atmosphere was relaxed and everyone was happy that they were back and they _were_ happy to be home again, but it was bound to blow up eventually. She hadn't had her thoughts go on overload since they'd been pulled out of the portal and landed gently on the living room floor, but now she couldn't stop all the thoughts that began to take over once again. She knew the closeness she and Buffy had now was making the others question just what had happened between them and _how_ it all happened between them in such a short amount of time. The changes she and Buffy had gone through, alone and together, were really quite obvious. Even she knew that.

Jackie seemed to be adjusting just fine and before she was set up in Buffy's room for the night, she'd been getting along well with everyone in the house. Giles had been the most curious one of them all, asking her questions about the dimension only she could answer. After she answered what she could, Giles had asked her what she remembered of the times before she was sent there by Laura. Nobody else seemed the slightest bit fazed that Laura had been involved with sending Jackie there, either. Nothing was really surprising anymore when it came to finding out just how involved Julie, Henry, Laura, even Sam was in everything.

One of the things that Faith had noticed after the women from the coven had left for the night and they all had settled around in the living room to talk was the fact that Dawn and Xander were very close and one of the new Slayers, Satsu, couldn't seem to take her eyes off of Kennedy. Things had changed around there and she could see almost each and every one of them very clearly. There was something going on between Dawn and Xander and she could see it in the way they looked at one another and the small, subtle touches they exchanged when they thought nobody was looking. As for Kennedy and Satsu, she wasn't sure what was there, but the heat she felt coming from the two of them whenever their eyes met was undeniable.

She was pulled from her thoughts when Buffy squeezed her thigh gently as Giles cleared his throat, trying to get her attention. She felt her face flush a little when she felt all eyes on her, having no idea what they were just talking about.

"You weren't listening, were you?" Buffy asked, chuckling softly when Faith just tried to shrug it off.

"Uh, no. Tired as hell, remember?"

"Both our rooms are taken, aren't they?" Buffy asked Giles as Angel got up from the table and just nodded a silent goodnight before heading down to the basement. "Where do you expect us to sleep?"

"You can sleep on the couches in the living room if it isn't too much of a hassle. It is just for tonight until Xander has finished with the work he's been trying to do to make the attic liveable."

"The couch? Fuck that," Faith groaned softly. "We're goin' to the apartment. What time ya want us back here in the mornin', Giles?"

"One night on the couch isn't going to kill us, Faith," Buffy whispered softly before she leaned in to whisper so only she could hear, "you can go one night without, can't you?"

Faith glanced over at Giles who seem highly amused at the way the two of them were acting. She just rolled her eyes and gave in. Buffy leaned back, blushing when she realized Giles was watching them and Faith could feel the heat even on the back of her neck. She sat back with a smug smile on her face, watching as Giles stood up and quickly said goodnight before walking out of the kitchen. She was a little surprised when Buffy pulled her in for a kiss almost as soon as Giles had walked out. She quickly pulled Buffy so she was straddling her and kissed her deeper as Buffy's hands buried themselves in her hair.

Everything about being with Buffy was right and she knew that no matter what kind of fucked up thoughts always went through her mind day in and day out. She felt Buffy smile against her lips as her hands wandered under the blonde's shirt and over her back slowly. Even before they'd been sucked inside the portal, she'd become severely addicted to just kissing Buffy. Kissing her turned her into the world's biggest sap, at least by her standards. She knew what it was, too, without having to question it. She knew this was love and everything that came with it and because she'd let down her walls, she was finally experiencing it in every possible way.

"Always thinking," Buffy whispered against her lips, breaking away from the kiss a little suddenly and too soon for Faith's liking.

"Always, B. This time I was thinkin' bout you."

"I don't think this side of you will ever stop surprising me."

"What side?"

"Your sweet side."

"I don't have a sweet side," Faith muttered as she leaned back a little so she could look into Buffy's eyes. She couldn't keep a straight face and chuckled softly. "Fine, I got a sweet side. Tell anyone else and I'll kick your ass."

"Like to see you try. And besides," Buffy said, winking as she got up from Faith's lap slowly, "I don't need to tell anyone about your sweet side. They can just see it for themselves. They do have eyes."

"B?"

"Hmm?"

Faith stood up and followed her into the living room, reaching out to shut off the light before they walked out of the kitchen. "Call me crazy, but I'm kinda worried about this."

"About what?"

"This newfound strength we got. We should be worried about it and all we wanna do is..."

"Fuck? Well, it's not going to happen tonight," Buffy laughed as she reached for Faith's hands and pulled her over to the couch. "And I'm worried about it too, but that's the last thing my mind is able to focus on right now, honestly."

Faith laughed along with her as she settled on the couch and watched as Buffy walked over to the lamp to shut it off. Her eyes adjusted quickly to the darkness and she watched as Buffy walked back over to the couch, slipped off the sandals she'd been wearing, and laid down in front of Faith, pulling the taller woman's arms around herself. She could feel Buffy tense up for a moment before she turned around in her arms and pulled her in for a kiss. She knew Buffy couldn't resist. She had some kind of power over her and she'd seen it when they'd been stuck in the world between worlds with nothing but time on their hands—and their hands on each other if she really wanted to be technical and accurate.

"Bet you're wishin' we went to the apartment now, huh?" Faith whispered as she ran her fingers lightly over Buffy's thin t-shirt, following the curve of her breast. "Don't lie, B. I can _read_ you really well now too."

"We were just kissing," she whispered as Faith manoeuvred them so she was slightly on top of Buffy with her thigh between the smaller slayer's legs, pressing hard into her center. "And maybe...this kissing thing isn't such a good idea either."

"When did you get all shy on me, B?"

"Not shy, just...really don't feel like getting all...touchy feely when just anyone could walk down the stairs any minute now and see us."

"Ya wiggin' out about gettin' caught? Or ya wiggin' about being heard too?"

"Faith," Buffy groaned softly, soft lips finding their way to her neck as Faith slid down her body just a little. "We should just get some sleep."

"Don't wanna. Ya got me all fuckin' worked up, B. Started when ya kissed me in the kitchen. Gotta finish what ya started, y'know?" Faith chuckled when Buffy just rolled her eyes and pushed her off of her, sending her crashing to the floor before she realized how much force she'd put behind it. "Great, B. Coulda just asked me to move."

"I'm sorry," she whispered as she helped Faith back up on the couch and quickly moved so she was lying in front of her with her back pressed up against Faith's front and the brunette's arms pulled firmly around her. "Crap. This extra dosage of Slayer strength is getting a little more scary. I didn't even..."

"I know, B. Don't worry about it," Faith said with a smile as she kissed the side of Buffy's head and moved a little, trying to get comfortable again. "Didn't hurt. Wasn't that much of a fall. Half a foot to the floor. Was a softer landin' than when Will pulled us outta the portal."

"I'm still all..." Buffy trailed off, pausing as if she was trying to think of what to say. "I don't know. I know I'm happy to be home and all, but..."

"Know the feelin', B."

"Do you?" Buffy asked, turning her head slightly so she could look at Faith. "I want to understand what we're going through, the changes we're feeling. I want to know the answers as to why we were sucked into that portal in the first place and why now."

"Cos some crazy bitch had her own agenda," Faith replied softly. "That and it was supposed to happen, B. Can't question fate or destiny or any of that crap."

"Do you honestly believe all that?"

"Never did before," Faith shrugged. "But I do now. Funny how bein' in love can really open your eyes to the world around ya, huh?"

"Tell me about it."

"Way I figure it," she said softly as she let Buffy turn around a little more in her arms, "after shit went down in Sunnydale, somethin' up there figured it was time for some major changes. Gettin' in touch with our human nature 'n shit. Guess that meant finding something in each other, with each other, whatever ya wanna call it. And ya know somethin', B?"

"What?"

"Wouldn't have it any other way. Never felt like this before and I know its cos of you. You know what I spent a lot of fuckin' time thinkin' about? About how bein' with you has changed me in all the ways I never thought I could be."

"You've changed me too."

"Yeah, into a horny little sex kitten," Faith chuckled and was rewarded by Buffy with a slap across the arm she had around her. "Well, ya _are_ a horny little sex kitten, B. Stating the fuckin' obvious here. Ain't like I'm complainin' about it either."

"I—it's not my fault that I—Faith, shut up," Buffy stammered slightly as she glared at her. "I can't resist you or your charms. You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd think you put me under some kind of spell just so you can get some and come back for some more."

"Always knew it'd take the right one for me to lose the 'get some, get gone' attitude. And for your information, Blondie, we are—or were—under a spell. Only thing is, kinda know this is real even without that fucked up barrier spell messin' with us."

"So what happens when it wears off and I don't want you anymore?"

"Then you're fucked, cos I ain't ever lettin' ya go, B."

They both looked up at the same time then to see Angel hovering in the doorway. Buffy scrambled to sit up as he walked over to flip on the light. Faith just let out a soft sigh as she sat up and propped her feet up on the coffee table, smirking at how flustered Buffy looked. They both had gotten used to absolutely no interruptions in the last month and Faith was feeling frustrated knowing they'd probably never get that back. There'd always be someone around, unless they were at the apartment, and there'd always be someone there to ruin any little moment they managed to find together.

"I hope I wasn't interrupting anything," Angel said as he sat on the chair closest to the couch. "I was hoping I could talk to you two privately."

"About what?" Buffy asked once she finally found her voice. It came out slightly squeaky, like she was nervous, and it only made Faith smile as she looked over at her. "It isn't about anything bad, is it? Because I really can't handle hearing anything bad right now."

"I want to hear more about where you two were, what it was like there and this time," he said as he leaned forward a little, "don't sugar-coat it."

"We never sugar-coated anything in the first place!" Buffy said as she leaned back on the couch and looked over at Faith. "Did we sugar-coat it?"

"Nope," she replied as she shook her head. "Mighta left out some little...personal details, y'know, stuff that nobody else is gonna wanna hear."

"Like?"

"Ya kiddin' me?" Faith laughed at the oblivious look on Angel's face. "Ya wanna hear about how we got pelvic every fuckin' chance we got?"

Buffy flushed a deep red, lowering her eyes to her hands in her lap as Angel shifted in the chair uncomfortably. She smirked, feeling a little smug as she watched the two of them react very much the same way. She could understand why, too. They had history, romantic history and a whole lot of other history, between them. It had to be a touch more than uncomfortable for Angel to hear that Buffy was definitely with Faith and getting naked and sweaty on a regular basis now. She didn't want to rub it in Angel's face either. He didn't deserve it and she wasn't like that anymore.

"Look, I don't know what else we can tell ya, Angel. Only other person we saw there was Jackie and those guys inside that temple. Ya already know all this stuff," Faith said after neither of them dared speak much less look at each other. "Ya knew all this before ya even came here, didn't you?"

"Yes. A seer from a coven in Brazil contacted me, told me everything that you two have told me about the dimension you were sucked into. I was also told a few other things I'm sure that you won't want Giles or anyone else to know," he said. He leaned back in the chair and stared over at the two of them for a moment before continuing. "It's about Julie. Turns out she wasn't just crazy, she could _see_ and wanted to make others see. The barrier spell was born from that desire of hers to make others feel everything she never could, see what she never could, have what she never could."

"Which is what, exactly? Love? Empathy?"

"All of it. She saw you and chose you, Faith. Her being able to feel your essence made it easier for her to see what you really wanted and I guess in your case, that was Buffy. So," he paused and smiled a little as the deep red in Buffy's cheeks didn't lessen at all, "she made it happen for you two. Call it crazy, and it is, but in a way she did it for the greater good despite the darker intentions that seemed to take over her and her family."

"And what about the Powers that Be?" Faith asked, knowing they had a hand in this as well. "Julie workin' for them or something?"

"You could put it that way, only it's really the other way around. It's complicated at best," Angel replied. "And believe me, for me to hear about you two from the seer that I talked with, it was definitely unexpected and expected at the same time. Everything that has happened, even back in Sunnydale and since you've come here, has happened for a reason. You need to feel more human than just a Slayer to face everything life is about to throw your way. It is what is going to keep you two alive."

"What, there's some big bad comin' or something?"

"Not as of now, no, but there's always a big bad and there always will be more."

"Vicious cycle," Buffy muttered under her breath. "We'll never get a break. Defeat one, something else pops up and tries to bring Hell to earth, end the world, control the world, end the Slayer line, or whatever else is on their agenda."

"What about the thing with Julie?" Faith asked, almost craving to know more if there was anything more to know. "I mean, she was basically invincible up until the end there, but once she lost that it was really a pretty easy fight."

"All I can tell you is that Julie and her family were just waiting for you two to come here. It was nothing more than a game for them and a way for them to feel relatively human again. Being immortal doesn't come without a price and now you two are basically going to feel just what that it's like for yourselves with the strength you now possess."

"We're basically immortal?" Buffy asked, looking over at Faith with both fear and excitement shining in her eyes. "How basic are we talking about?"

"We can't know for sure yet," Angel shrugged. "I'm guessing Giles will help you two figure that out soon enough."

Faith just grabbed the switchblade that had been left on the coffee table and flipped it open. Buffy watched with wide eyes as she ran the sharp blade over the skin on her left thigh and pressed hard, not even breaking the skin. She grabbed onto Buffy's leg and stabbed it, the blade bending as soon as it hit her skin.

"Guessing that answers just how 'basic' the immortality issue is, B."

"Faith! I can't believe you just did that!"

"So, Angel, what're you thinkin' about this? This part of the immortality deal, or is this somethin' else? Cos far as I can see, ain't nothing gonna be able to touch us now or kill us," Faith said as she tossed the broken switchblade onto the coffee table and sat back on the couch slowly. "Gotta be a lot of plusses to all of this, don't ya think?"

"It won't last," Angel said quietly. "Don't get used to it. It's just a side effect from the spell Willow used to pull you out of the portal."

"Ya sure about that?"

"It's what the seer told me. He is very rarely wrong."

"This guy, this seer," Faith said, slowly licking over her lips as she really began to feel the power coursing through her veins, "this the same _friend_ that came to you before when shit with Julie and her family was goin' down?"

"No."

"If it ain't s'posed to last, how come ya didn't tell us this before?"

"I told you I wanted to talk to you two privately about this."

"Why?" Buffy asked as she lifted her head. "Shouldn't Giles know about this too? I mean he knows pretty much everything else, what difference does it make if he knows about this too?"

"The more people that know you possess this kind of power, the more dangerous it is for you and everyone else around you. Do you understand? Both of you?"

"Crystal fuckin' clear," Faith said under her breath as she watched Angel stand up slowly. "So what, that's all you wanted to talk about? Or is this just some kinda cover cos ya 'accidently' walked in on me and B about to get a little hot and heavy?"

Buffy blushed again, only this time she leaned into Faith and let out a soft sigh. "Let's just...not talk about me and Faith anymore, okay? It's all kinds of weird, Angel. And Faith," she said as she turned to look at her, "please don't ever bring up the topic of us in front of Angel again."

"Why not, B?"

"It's...weird."

"I'm with Buffy on that one. It's definitely weird," Angel said with a smirk, winking at Faith as he slowly made his way to the hallway. "I'm just happy you two are home and safe. We'll deal with this. We'll deal with whatever is happening to you two. As for it not lasting, there's no telling just how long you'll be like this or how much power you two will actually hold on to once the effects wear off. Just try not to be careless."

The last bit was directed to Faith, but before she could open her mouth Angel walked from the living room and out the front door. Faith sucked in a deep breath as she looked at Buffy, who sat there just staring blankly ahead.

"Well," Faith said as she let out a little laugh, "I guess we can mark this down as one long and very fucked up day, huh?"

"I think fucked up isn't strong enough of a word to describe today."

"Gotta figure though, B. Shit could be worse than it is. We could be dead."

"Right, because that's the worst it can possibly get," Buffy replied rather bitterly.

Faith could see the major change in Buffy since Angel had come into the room. Where there had been warmth before with their closeness, it was cooler and distant. She closed the small gap between them, pulling Buffy onto her lap and devouring her with a heart-stopping kiss. It was all she could do to stop the distance that Buffy had placed between them. She wanted to get back to the place where the world just fell away and all they could see, feel, hear, and taste was each other. She wanted to forget everything that had just happened, forget everything that Angel had said, but only for the time being.

"Faith..."

"Hmm?" Faith mumbled against her lips, trying to keep kissing her without breaking the moment. Buffy pushed her away a little and pouted when Faith just frowned. "What gives, B?"

"Angel kind of...ruined the mood."

"Fuck it," Faith said quickly as she pulled Buffy in for another kiss, stopping just a hairsbreadth away from her lips. "Told ya we should've gone to the apartment, B. Wouldn't have any interruptions there."

"One night, Faith. It's just _one_ night. You can go without for one night, can't you?"

"No," she chuckled and Buffy just rolled her eyes. "Only time I've gone without since we started this...thing between us was when you were on your rag a little while ago. Pure torture."

"Um, not to sound a little strange, but I kind of noticed you haven't...I mean since we're sort of on that topic right now and everything."

"Oh," Faith sighed out, really not in the mood to bring up the reasons why, but knowing she had to eventually. It was one of those things that when you spent every single day with someone, fucked them every single day would be noticed. "Remember that crazy night when ya decided to gut me with my own knife? Well, I'm not privy to the medical details since I spent what, eight months in a coma then broke outta the hospital, but I'm thinkin' it has somethin' to do with that."

Buffy turned to look away from her guiltily and the tension, the many walls, shot right up between them just like that. Faith ran a hand over Buffy's thigh slowly, watching as goose bumps formed in its wake over her skin.

"B, y'know I forgave ya for that shit, right? Don't even worry about it," she whispered softly as she waited for Buffy to look back at her. "Besides it ain't all bad. So I can never have kids, never wanted 'em. Don't gotta worry about cramps either so it's like a bonus. Ya got nothing to feel guilty about either, B."

Buffy said nothing and still wouldn't look at her, yet she didn't move from sitting on her lap either. Faith continued to lazily run her hand up and down her thigh, smiling a little when she felt Buffy shudder as a small wave of pleasure washed over her. The tips of her fingers slid under the hem of Buffy's shorts, just for a brief second before she pulled her hand away from her completely.

"Come on, B. What's the big fuckin' deal?"

"You know what the big deal is," she muttered softly, _still_ not looking at her. "I can't believe—why didn't you tell me this before?"

"Ya never asked."

"But isn't that kind of depressing, Faith? Never being able to have kids?"

"Wouldn't be a great mother anyway, don't see what the big deal is."

"You'd make a great mother."

"Remember who you're talkin' to here, B. I'd be a crappy mother. Barely been able to look after myself half the fuckin' time. Besides, we have other shit to worry about now and I can't even imagine bein' a Slayer and a mother at the same time. Seems like it'd be too much."

"Nikki Wood did it."

"She ended up dead," Faith replied. She let out a heavy sigh as Buffy finally turned to look at her. "Thinkin' I'm done with this talking deal for tonight," she said, moving to get up from the couch but being stopped by Buffy and pulled back down. "What?"

"Where are you going?"

"Gonna sleep on the other couch if that's okay with you."

"No," she said as she shook her head and pulled Faith down with her as she laid back. "Stay right here with me. Please? Feel like I can't fall asleep now without you right here with me. Holding me. I think I'm a little too...attached."

"Ya think?" Faith chuckled softly. "Can't I at least turn off the light?"

"No."

Faith let out a sigh as she closed her eyes and held Buffy close to her, feeling her relax in her embrace. She knew that the entire day, mostly since they'd been brought back, could be categorized under 'the most fucked up day, ever'. There was just too much to process all at once and with her thoughts and emotions now back in overdrive, she felt like she was going to explode if she didn't find a way to calm things down inside her head at least. But with the things she was finding out—well, mostly just finding out that Julie really did have a hand in what they were feeling and because of what they were feeling, they were together. It was a mess inside and out and yet, there they were, lying on the couch in the middle of the night, Faith behind Buffy, holding her close with her face nearly buried into the back of her neck. Lying like lovers, which is what they were, but things were firing off between them ever since Angel had left the room.

She traced her fingers idly over the small spot of exposed skin where Buffy's shirt had ridden up a little, trying to quiet her thoughts and fill them with the thoughts full of desire, the thoughts that made her libido rage out of control, her heart quicken and her whole body quiver in anticipation of Buffy's touch. She couldn't deny that everything felt amazing when it came to Buffy. Buffy made her feel so much, too much sometimes, but when things quieted down and it was just about the two of them, she felt like it was one of those perfect moments she'd only ever dreamt about without realizing she was. Even in the moments before the quiet had come, even in those words that could have spawned into hate far too easily, Faith felt like she belonged nowhere else but right where she was. Belonged with no one else but who she was with.

They often found themselves on the verge of fighting, talking about the past that riled up deep emotions they both had tried to bury since they'd become close, become—dare she think it—a couple. But even with the rough patches to work through or work out, they were in a very real relationship that surpassed every expectation she'd ever had whenever she thought about what it'd be like to have something like this with anyone. Even when they'd been stuck inside that world between worlds, she'd thought over everything a hundred times and every time it was slightly different.

She tried not to think about her and Buffy, afraid if she went too far with her thought that she'd start seriously doubting what they had together. She couldn't do that. Not to herself and not to Buffy. Not now that she loved her and knew that Buffy loved her back. Even if it really was a spell, or the side effects from the barrier, she knew what she felt had become real. She felt it deeply rooted in her very soul, the same part of her soul she knew was now permanently connected to Buffy's and the very soul connection that would never be severed. Ever.

She went back to thinking about the things Angel had told them. She knew that he cared about each of them, though more Buffy than herself. But it didn't matter to her who Angel cared for more, the fact that he was there when he didn't have to be spoke volumes not even she could fully understand. At least she understood why she felt different since they'd returned home. It was the power they had now, coursing its way blindly through their bodies with every beat of their heart and with every breath they took. Just how much power they had, she didn't know—and a part of her was almost afraid to find out. She was never good with having power, finding it overwhelming. It was what had lured her to the dark side and was what scared her from him, made her hate herself for it in the end.

She was exhausting herself and she let out a soft sigh before she placed a gentle kiss to the side of Buffy's neck and whispered ever so softly into her ear, "night, B."

"Night, Faith," Buffy whispered breathlessly, the words barely escaping past her lips as she let out a deep sigh.

Buffy turned just a little and placed a soft yet lingering kiss on her lips before smiling as she pulled away and turned back around and snuggled deeper, closer into Faith. And for what felt like the millionth time since the first time Buffy had kissed her, she asked herself how the hell she ended up having something so great, so loving, so _real_ with Buffy when she knew with all the things she'd done in the past to Buffy, to her family, to her friends…she didn't deserve her. She didn't deserve any of it.

"You do," Buffy whispered. "You deserve everything you have. Even me."

"Did I just say that out loud, B?"

"No, but I felt it. Just stop thinking and go to sleep, Faith. I mean it."

She smiled a little, feeling slightly guarded and a little nervous. Maybe there was more to things than them just gaining strength from all the Slayers that had lived before them. Maybe it was more than them being connected on a deeper level. Maybe there were parts of themselves that were connected that they never thought was possible. Whatever it was, she'd worry about it _after_ she'd gotten some sleep.


	32. Chapter 32

The first thing Faith noticed when she opened her eyes was that Buffy was no longer there with her. The second thing was that the TV was on and Andrew, Dawn, and the three other Slayers were sitting around the living room watching it as they either sipped coffee or ate a bowl of cereal. She stretched out lazily, yawning as Dawn looked over at her for a split second before turning her attention back to the TV, which was currently showing a news segment. She sat up slowly, watching as they showed video footage of what looked like a battlefield in the middle of a war—only the 'battlefield' was in a small cemetery just a few miles west of the city.

"What's goin' on?" Faith asked, but nobody answered as they kept their eyes on the TV. "This happen a lot since we been gone or what?"

"Shh!" Andrew hissed loudly as the newscaster began to speak again.

"Fourteen have perished in the latest mass murder, the fifth in the last week alone. The police have yet to determine..."

Faith was up and already heading for the kitchen, unable to stomach what she was seeing and hearing on the TV. She was somewhat relieved to find the kitchen empty and the coffeepot half-full. She grabbed a mug and poured the first cup of coffee she'd had in what felt like forever. Just the smell of it made her mouth water. She could still clearly hear the newscaster talking on the TV, but over it, just faintly, she could hear Buffy's voice coming from the basement as she talked quietly with Angel. She tried to listen to what they were saying, barely able to pick up actual words. She let out a frustrated sigh as she picked up her mug and walked closer to the basement door, opening it just a crack and wondering if she should just walk away as soon as she heard Angel say her name.

"How can you be in love with Faith?"

"I just am, Angel."

"It's the spell...the barrier spell and Julie...she's done this to you."

"No," Buffy said, the anger very clear in her voice. "This started when we left Sunnydale, when we stopped in that town for a few nights before we drove up here. You told me when I called you to let you know we all were okay to give her a chance and I did! I really did and you know something? I saw a different side to her and something just...clicked."

"It doesn't make any sense, Buffy! I know I have absolutely no right to tell you what to do with your life or who you can or cannot be with, but it's Faith. _Faith_."

Faith clenched her teeth together, wanting to go down there and punch Angel in the face for the disgust he had in his voice when he said her name. She knew he hadn't shown his true feelings towards their relationship and she wanted to know why he couldn't have just come out and said it to her instead of Buffy. She took a sip of her coffee, still listening as they continued to talk.

"It isn't just what we feel now that's changed our relationship," Buffy said quietly. "I don't even know how to put it into words, but the way I feel about her is something I've never felt before. I was so scared at first to tell her; to talk to her about it, but then things just sort of fell into place. Angel, you have no idea how she makes me feel. I don't mean feel like actual feelings, but she touches me in places nobody else ever has."

"Like your soul?"

"Yes. And for once can you drop the whole jealous ex-boyfriend act? I really thought that was over."

"It is," Angel said with a short laugh. "I'm just trying to understand this. I don't want to see you hurt her."

"Me? Why would I hurt her? Angel, I _love_ her. I would never hurt her."

"You may think that now—"

"No," Buffy cut him off and Faith heard her as she began to pace across the floor, breathing heavily as if she was trying not to break down and cry. "Look, I don't even care what you think about my relationship with Faith. It is what it is and nothing you say is going to make me change my mind or make me feel any differently about her. I know we have a rocky past, but we're past that now."

"Just like that?"

"It's a little more complicated than that," Buffy sighed as she paused for a moment and Faith found herself leaning more into the door to hear her more clearly. "We talked while we were in that dimension. We completely laid everything out on the line between us. Well," Buffy let out a sharp laugh and Faith heard her continue pacing, "almost everything."

Faith nearly jumped when Kennedy walked in through the back door and closed it loudly behind her. She placed a set of keys on the counter and removed her sunglasses, raising an eyebrow at Faith as she strolled casually over to the coffeemaker.

"You know, eavesdropping always makes things worse," Kennedy said as she reached for a mug and poured herself a cup of coffee. "Let me guess, Buffy and Angel are still down there talking about you and Buffy's relationship. Am I right or am I right?"

"Yeah. How long they been down there?"

"Early. I'm talking way before the ass crack of dawn early."

"What are you doing up so early then?"

"I had to get out of here for awhile," Kennedy replied and she motioned for Faith to follow her out into the backyard so they could talk privately. "Things have changed around here. A lot."

"No shit," Faith said, placing her mug on the picnic table as she sat down. "Somethin' goin' on between you and that cute little Asian chick?"

"Satsu? No," Kennedy said quickly. "Nothing is going on. We're just friends."

"I've heard that line before," Faith chuckled as she watched Kennedy sit down across from her and nervously fidget with the handle on her mug. "Things aren't goin' too good with you and Willow anymore, huh?"

"How do you know that?"

"Gut feelin' and the fact that you two avoided each other last night. What's goin' on, Ken?"

Kennedy looked at Faith, a mass of perplexed emotions flashing over her face as she tried to stop the tears. Whatever it was, Faith knew it was tearing her up inside and this was her chance to really be Kennedy's friend and listen to whatever it was she wanted to say to her.

"Ken? Come on, it's me. Tell me what's goin' on."

"I'm having...feelings for Satsu," she whispered. "And I feel things around her I never feel with Will. Kind of wondering if it's a Slayer thing, because of the connection we all have. I feel it with you guys, but with her it's...different."

"Ya get that down-low tingle if she just looks at ya?"

"Yeah," Kennedy laughed and she shook her head. "But it's a different kind of...tingle than the normal one, you know what I mean?"

"Sure do, Ken. Feel it around B all the time. Hell, I can feel it whenever she's talkin' about me and I'm not even near her," she chuckled as she paused to take a sip of her coffee. "What about you and Will? You guys lose that spark?"

"Yeah."

"You two try to work it out?"

"Tried, yeah, but with you two gone there was a lot of stress. I don't think that helped."

"What about with Satsu?"

"Uh," Kennedy laughed nervously as she looked up at the house for a moment. "The feelings are kind of mutual. More so on her part. God, I can't believe I'm talking to you about this."

"Ain't like I'm gonna go shoot my mouth off and announce it to the world that you're havin' those down-low tingles for a girl who ain't _your_ girl."

"It is driving me insane, Faith! I don't even know what to do. What is the right thing to do?"

"Askin' the wrong chick, Ken."

"This is just as bad as trying to deal with the fact that Dawn and Xander are..."

"Dawn and Xander are what?" Faith asked, raising an eyebrow when Kennedy groaned and shook her head no. "What? Ken, tell me. Dawnie and Xander are what?"

"Uh, together? Sort of? They've been...you know, making out when they think nobody is looking."

Faith burst out laughing, the tears stinging her eyes as she tried to stop. "Are ya fuckin' kidding me? Dawnie and Xander? Oh fuck, that's classic. B is gonna flip."

"Which is exactly why you can't tell her," Kennedy said as she too tried to stop laughing. "God, everything is so messed up now, isn't it? I mean you two come back as juiced up Slayers, everyone's relationships are taking a turn for the worse," her eyes turned upward thoughtfully, "or the better; depends on how you look at it, I guess—and Angel is downstairs grilling Buffy about her feelings for you. It's times like this when I kind of wish we were dealing with another apocalypse."

"Ya just jinxed it, Ken."

"Shit," she laughed. "Whatever, bring on the worst!" Kennedy shouted to the sky and Faith just shook her head and sipped her coffee, trying not to laugh again.

"You should know better than to tempt the Fates," Willow said as she walked over to them, smiling as she sat down next to Kennedy. "Giles want you to go inside in a bit, Faith. Something about testing to see how much strength you and Buffy have now. He's downstairs talking to Angel and Buffy now, said to give him about ten minutes."

"Great," Faith sighed as she finished the rest of her coffee, unable to look away from Willow and Kennedy.

Willow looked completely oblivious to the way Kennedy was feeling. She almost felt bad for Willow because she knew, from what Buffy had told her that it was hard for her to move on after Tara had died and she knew that Willow had found something in Kennedy that was pretty close to what she'd had with Tara. She left the two of them there alone, shooting Kennedy a look that basically said for her to try to talk to Willow about where they stood on their relationship.

She could hear Giles and Angel talking in the basement as she walked inside and closed the back door. She had barely accomplished that when Buffy jumped into her arms, wrapped her legs around her waist, and was kissing her furiously. Not one to question why she was being kissed—or completely devoured—like that, she kissed her back just as hard, stumbling a little as she moved to press Buffy up against the wall. She could feel Buffy's heat on her stomach and it only caused her to press into her harder and kiss her deeper. She moved her hand between them, cupping Buffy's sex over her denim shorts and causing the blonde slayer to pull back from the kiss as she let out a soft whimpering moan.

"Morning to you too, Faith."

"Hey," she smirked, trailing her fingers up to the top of Buffy's shorts as she slid down to stand on her own feet. "Feel like ditchin' Giles and Angel and findin' the fun with me upstairs?"

"As much as I want to," Buffy groaned softly as she pulled Faith's hand away before she could unbutton her shorts, "we can't. You know we can't. We need to find out just how much strength we have now and learn how to control it. I don't want to unintentionally hurt you or anyone else."

"Heard ya talkin' to Angel before," Faith said, making no effort to move away as she kept Buffy pressed up against the wall. "He's havin' a hard time dealin' with the fact you and me are together, ain't he?"

"He doesn't understand how after two months I can feel like this for you. I had to remind him that one of those two months was spent in another dimension and that we spent nearly every minute there together. Honestly," Buffy sighed as she ran her hands slowly up Faith's arms, "I think being there made me fall in love with you faster."

"That a good thing or a bad thing, B?"

"A good thing, I think. He's just...he's more worried about you, Faith. He thinks you're still emotionally unstable."

"Well, he's not wrong."

Buffy pouted as she gently cupped Faith's face with both her hands. "Even if you are emotionally unstable, it doesn't change anything."

"No? What about when I completely fuckin' lose it and hightail it outta here? What then? Is it gonna change everything then, B, or are ya still gonna love me even after I break your heart?"

She had no idea why she spat those words out, why they felt so bitter as they rolled past her tongue. Buffy just stared at her, her face almost expressionless as she stroked her fingers lightly over Faith's jaw before dropping her hands to her shoulders. Buffy was at loss for words and so was Faith. She pushed herself away from Buffy, grabbed her mug, and went to pour herself another cup.

"Always fuck everything up," she muttered under her breath as she poured the last of the coffee from the pot into her mug. She felt Buffy step up behind her but she didn't reach out to touch her. Faith just turned around and stared at her, cocking her head slightly to the side as she tried to read the many emotions flickering across her face and in her eyes. "What?"

"What about what you said last night?" Buffy asked quietly as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"What part?"

"About never letting me go."

"B, what I was sayin' there was just a 'what if', ya know? It ain't like it's really gonna happen," Faith said softly, forcing a smile when Buffy looked away and bit her lower lip, looking like she was about to cry. "Kinda overheard you and Angel before. It's messed me up. Don't listen to me."

"I don't care what Angel says," Buffy said softly. Faith put her mug of coffee down before wrapping her arms around the blonde and pulling her in close. "He's just...he's jealous, that's all it is. I knew this would happen. I knew him coming back here was..."

"What, B?" Faith asked softly, studying her face as she furrowed her brow and let out a soft, short sigh. "Okay, we won't talk about it if ya don't wanna, but just cos we're not gonna talk about it now doesn't mean we never will. Shit," she sighed as she held onto her tightly, not wanting to let go, "ain't nothin' gonna make me change the way I feel about you either, B. Nothing."

"Better not," Buffy chuckled as she pulled back from the tight embrace and planted a light kiss on Faith's lips. "I mean it, Faith. I finally found something completely amazing with you and if you think for one minute that I'll ever let you walk away from this, from us, then you're even more crazy than Jackie is."

"Well she _is_ my mother, y'know—how's that sayin' go? Like mother like daughter, or whatever?"

"It's always gonna be like this, isn't it?" Buffy asked, smiling when Faith just shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. "We're always going to be back and forth, like we got some kind of angst switch inside of us, aren't we?"

"Angst switch?" Faith laughed as she leaned back against the counter, pulling Buffy with her. "If ya say so, B. Wonder if I can find it," she smirked as she ran her hands from Buffy's waist to cup her ass. "Getting warmer?"

"Getting there," Buffy replied, biting back the laugh as a moan slipped out.

"Ahem," Giles said as he appeared in the kitchen, hovering by the basement door. "If you two can manage to keep your hands off of each other for more than five minutes, I'd like to start with those endurance tests as soon as possible."

Faith dropped her hands from Buffy's ass, smirking as she leaned back against the counter and reached for her mug of coffee. Buffy couldn't fight the blush and she couldn't quite bring herself to turn and look at Giles much less answer him. Giles looked slightly amused—a little mortified and embarrassed as well—for having caught them the way he just had. Faith quickly gulped the last of her coffee and grabbed onto Buffy's hand, forcing her to follow along to the basement with Giles.

After nearly the entire day training in the basement and going through a few of Giles' 'endurance' tests, Faith collapsed on the mats covering the basement floor, completely exhausted. Angel had watched from where he sat on the stool in the far corner of the basement, not saying a single word to any of them in the seven and a half hours they'd been down there.

They were definitely strong, that was a given, and their bodies had apparently developed an armour of sorts. Nothing broke the skin—not even the scythe, sharp as it was. Giles was beyond himself and had Willow and the others going through every book they could get their hands on to find out more about Buffy and Faith's sudden immortality and to try and find out how long it would last. They didn't seem to have any problem controlling their strength either, which made Giles very relieved that they didn't have to worry about accidentally hurting Kennedy or the other Slayers if they chose to spar with them.

"So, G," Faith said from where she laid on the mats, "we going out on patrol tonight?"

"I believe so, yes. We can better test your strength that way."

"There are also the mass murders that have happened. We should look into that," Angel said as Buffy sat down on the mats near Faith and let out a heavy, exhausted sigh. "Everything points to demons. If it were vampires, there'd be neck wounds and no blood."

"I've already spoken with Perry," Giles said as he leaned against the workbench. "He and the others are already looking into it. We'll be meeting with them shortly before sunset."

"Are we done?" Buffy asked, stifling a yawn as she stretched out. "I could seriously use a shower and a nap before patrol."

"We are done, yes," Giles nodded. "A nap may be wise. It will be a rather long night for the both of you."

"Shoulda thought about that 'fore ya put us through a whole fuckin' day of this shit," Faith muttered quietly under her breath as she got up from the mats and followed Buffy to the stairs.

She could feel Angel's eyes on both of them and didn't even have to look over at him to know he was brooding in his corner. It was all he'd done all day while Giles had put them through round after round of tests and pitted them against each other in sparring, trying to determine if their speed and accuracy had improved as well. She smirked as she followed Buffy up the stairs, her eyes falling to her ass, the tight denim shorts clinging to her in all the right places. She could still feel Angel's eyes on them and she could only roll her eyes as Buffy opened the basement door, but stopped and turned to face her.

"What are you thinking?"

"About what, B?"

She let out a soft sigh as they walked out of the basement and into the empty kitchen. "About all of this? We just spent the entire day training and testing our strength and I got to say," she paused as she walked over to the fridge and pulled out two bottles of water, "I'm a little bit scared."

"Why're ya scared, B?"

"Because! We have this strength that's ten times what we've ever had, probably more, and it's scary to know just how strong we really are now."

"Okay," Faith said slowly as Buffy handed her a bottle of water. "Still don't get it. If anything, you should be pumped up about this. Ain't nothing out there can touch us now, B."

"That's what scares me. We're going to go out there with that mindset and it's going to give us reason to be careless."

"Nah," Faith said as she shook her head. "Ain't gonna make me wanna be careless and I know it ain't gonna for you either. What're ya really scared about, B?"

"Everything. Being this strong is going to change everything, Faith."

"Don't really understand why. I mean," Faith said, sighing as she leaned against the counter and stared over at Buffy as she stood a few feet away, "we don't _have_ to let it change anything—includin' us."

She could see the frustration in Buffy's eyes as she scoffed lightly. She knew the conversation wasn't going to end well since they obviously were in two very different places when it came to how they felt about their newfound strength. Faith loved the feel of the power flowing through her body and it made her feel slightly high, as if it were a drug to her. Buffy wasn't comfortable knowing just how much strength she possessed now and it showed in every way. She'd seen it all day and she'd seen how Buffy had come close to tears more than a dozen times in the last couple of hours.

They didn't continue with the conversation as they headed upstairs. Buffy went right for the bathroom, closing and locking the door and dashing Faith's hopes that they could shower together before getting a few hours of sleep. She groaned softly as she walked to her room and found Jackie sitting on the bed staring blankly at the window. She looked lost, afraid, and she was shivering slightly as Faith hovered in the doorway. There was so much she wanted to say to Jackie, so much she wanted to ask, to know, but with Jackie in the state of mind that she was, she knew she couldn't say much of anything at all.

Everyone in the house had been so curious about Jackie too. Giles had bombarded her with too many questions, yet as overwhelmed as she'd been, she answered every single one of them with patience. Faith knew that Willow had done some research, trying to find out if Jackie was indeed her mother. She'd found records from a small clinic in Boston where Faith had been born and she'd found Faith's birth certificate that listed a Jacqueline Lehane as her mother and a John Lehane as her father. She remembered her mother—the woman she was raised by—telling her that her father was dead and before Willow had found her birth certificate she hadn't even known his name. It put her whole life into a different perspective especially after having learned what she had from Jackie before. That orphaned feeling she'd felt for so long and fought not to feel was nearly gone, just remnants of it still lingering there.

"Oh, hello, Faith."

"Hey," she nodded, smiling a little over at Jackie as she got up from the bed slowly. "Ya settlin' in here okay?"

"Best as can be expected. The world isn't as it was when I left."

"No shit," Faith chuckled softly as she leaned against the doorframe. "Do ya need anything?"

"No," Jackie said as she shook her head slowly. "The girls took me out today to shop for clothes."

"How'd ya make out?"

"That Dawn is rather feisty," Jackie smirked as she picked up the empty coffee mug off the dresser. "She's much like Buffy, only not. She talks a lot too, couldn't get a word in with her. But everyone has been wonderful, truly wonderful. I am very grateful to be welcomed into this family of yours, Faith."

"Wouldn't want it to be any other way, Jackie."

Jackie smiled and threw her arms around Faith unexpectedly. "I'm so glad I've got my baby girl back in my life. You've turned out to be an amazing young woman despite all you've gone through to get here and," she smiled as she pulled back from the hug, "you've got a great girlfriend in Buffy."

"Uh thanks," Faith laughed uneasily as Jackie walked out of the bedroom and headed down the stairs.

Faith just walked into the room and went through the drawers, hoping to find some of her clothes that she'd left there before, but none of the clothes in the dresser were hers. She groaned in frustration as she walked out to the hallway and pulled out a clean towel from the linen closet just as Buffy walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her still wet body. Faith let out an appreciative growl as she walked past Buffy and reached out to playfully slap her on the ass. Buffy didn't even turn to look at her, choosing instead to flip her off as she walked into her bedroom.

Faith chuckled quietly as she walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. The room was still steamy from Buffy's shower and she quickly stripped out of her clothes and turned the water on, planning to have a rather quick shower before joining Buffy in her room for a nap. The almost too hot water felt like heaven as it cascaded over her body. She could faintly hear the laughter coming from the living room and the sound of Kennedy yelling at Andrew as she told him to stop being such a pervert. She laughed to herself as she quickly showered and once she'd rinsed the last of the soap from her body, she shut the water off and stepped out.

Buffy was still in her towel when she walked into her room and she stood by the door, making sure it was closed, as she watched her rub lotion on her legs. The sight was mesmerizing, mouth watering, and she couldn't quite seem to move from where she stood as she watched her. Buffy was purposely moving her hands over her legs slower now that she knew Faith was watching her. The playful, flirty smile on her face proved that much and Faith tried to stay back as long as she could, but as soon as Buffy 'innocently' dropped her towel, she moved over to the bed, dropping her own towel as she wrapped her arms around her lighter counterpart. Before Faith could even kiss her, Buffy put a hand to her lips and shook her head no.

"We need to get some sleep, Faith."

"But—"

"And I'm not particularly fond of being caught. There isn't even a lock on the door," she continued without missing a beat and winked as she pulled Faith down with her on the bed.

"Didn't stop ya when we were—"

"Because I knew Jackie wouldn't purposely walk in on us, or even accidentally. She's _so_ considerate like that and unfortunately," she whispered as Faith settled between her legs and was instantly grinding into her. She let out a quiet moan, momentarily forgetting what she was going to say as she stared deeply into Faith's eyes. "Unfortunately, nobody in this house is considerate like that."

"So, we'll be quiet and they'll think we're sleeping," Faith whispered as she leaned in, stopping before their lips touched. "And once we finish patrol tonight, we are going to the apartment. Ain't no way in hell I'm sleepin' on the couch again."

Buffy just nodded her head as she bit her lip to quiet the moan that slipped out anyway. She gripped onto Faith's ass, grinding her harder into her pussy as she spread her legs a little more. Their skin was still damp from the showers they'd taken, but with the heat in the room and the heat between them, a thin sheen of sweat coated their bodies in mere seconds. Faith wouldn't let Buffy kiss her, opting on staring into her eyes as she fucked her hard and slow. Right when Buffy was on the verge of her climax, Faith captured her lips in a fierce and hot kiss, both of them moaning as Buffy came hard, Faith coming just a few seconds later. It was always like that between them when they just got right to it, fucking not being the right word for what they shared. Making love and despite the quickness, it was as intense as an orgasm that took five minutes to build up.

Buffy wrapped her legs around Faith's waist, keeping her right where she was as she deepened the kiss even more so. Faith checked out for a moment as fantasies of buying a strap-on and fucking Buffy for hours filled her head. Buffy pulled back from the kiss with a soft laugh as she stroked her fingers over Faith's cheeks. Faith took that moment to really get into the moment, to stare into her eyes and see the love in them that filled her in ways she never thought she could be filled. Buffy had seriously done a number on her. She was constantly feeling like a big pile of mush and the old Faith would have laughed and called her a pussy, but she just didn't care anymore.

"You really can't understand the word 'no', can you?" Buffy asked, laughing softly as she released her legs from around Faith so she could move to lie next to her.

"Ya never said the word 'no', B."

"Could've sworn that I did. I did say we needed to get some sleep though," she countered and groaned softly as she tried to pull the sheets over them. "That's pretty much a no right there."

"No it ain't. Doesn't matter now," Faith said softly as she let Buffy turn around so her back was to her front before she wrapped an arm around her. "Ain't nothin' better than gettin' in a nap after some fuckin' hot fucking."

"We really should...focus on everything rather than each other all the time."

"Ya complainin', B?"

"No, I'm just saying, we can't be careless because all we want to do is..."

"Fuck?" Faith offered when Buffy didn't finish saying what she was going to say. "I get it, B. No big deal. Can't blame me for wantin' ya all the time though."

Buffy chuckled softly, the vibrations shooting through Faith's body like lightning. Faith felt her relax and she closed her eyes, breathing in the scent of Buffy's still damp hair, her freshly washed skin, and the smell that was distinctly Buffy. She was sweating, the sheets were drenched, and she knew if she pulled back the covers, Buffy would likely kick her ass. She knew without having to be told that Buffy felt more comfortable like this—covered and sweating worse than the devil's ass crack in the hottest spot in Hell rather than taking a chance of someone coming in and catching them lying on the bed, completely naked and holding each other.

At least after today they wouldn't have to worry about that so much. Faith was determined to get Buffy to come with her to the apartment. They might have already discussed Buffy moving in with her, but saying it was one thing, doing it was completely something else all together. She felt Buffy lean back into her some more, grinding her ass into her pussy and it took all of her self-control not to fuck her again when she knew they really needed to get a couple hours of sleep. They did have a very, very long night ahead of them, after all.

Priorities. She liked to believe she had them. Sometimes.

"What the _hell_ is this?" Buffy asked with slight disgust as she held up the outfit Andrew had handed her. "Do you really expect me to wear this?"

"It's lightweight Kevlar and it is black so it's...stealthy," Andrew replied, keeping his voice steady even though he looked like he was on the verge of tears. "I made each one especially for all of you. Do you know how hard it was for me to get the size right when I had nothing but vague memories and clothes of yours to go by? It took me nearly a day to make this for you, Buffy!"

Faith tried not to laugh at the look on Buffy's face. She was completely not into the idea of wearing what Andrew called 'Slayer Gear'. She lost it when Buffy groaned almost painfully as Kennedy and the other Slayers came into the living room dressed in their gear.

"I'm not wearing this," Buffy said as she shoved it at Andrew. "Besides, I don't need any kind of protection. At least not right now."

"Buffy...we're a team," Kennedy said through clenched teeth. Faith could tell she too was trying so hard not to laugh at Buffy's reaction to this. "It's just an outfit and they're actually surprisingly comfortable! Even Perry and Marshall are wearing them."

Faith grabbed hers and headed upstairs with Buffy hot on her heels. She knew Buffy was a little pissed off, but she couldn't help but laugh when Buffy practically shoved her into her bedroom and slammed the door shut behind her. Faith just watched as Buffy balled up the shirt and the pants and threw them across the room.

"What's the big deal, B?"

"This is not how we do things around here!"

"Maybe not, but shit," Faith said calmly as she tossed her clothes to the bed and wrapped her arms around Buffy, "it's just a fuckin' outfit, B. It ain't the end of the world. Besides maybe Andy is right—they'd be stealthy, not to mention sexy."

"He never said sexy."

"I know. I did."

"Good. Because if I ever hear those words coming out of his mouth..."

"Major ew," Faith chuckled and let out a soft sigh of relief as Buffy relaxed a little bit. "Come on, just try it on. Andy put a lot of work into this."

"How do you know that?"

"Just look at 'em, B. You can just tell he slaved over 'em to make 'em perfect."

Buffy groaned, clearly annoyed, but watched as Faith stripped out of her clothes and pulled on the Kevlar outfit. It fit like a glove, surprisingly, and it was comfortable, light. Almost as if it was a second skin. She turned around and caught Buffy checking her out, then walked over to where Buffy had thrown hers and laid it out on the bed as she sat down. She motioned for Buffy to strip, smirking as Buffy pouted and shook her head no. After a few minutes of a rather intense staring contest, Buffy gave in, stripped out of her clothes, and quickly pulled on the outfit.

"Damn," Faith said softly, her eyes drinking in Buffy as she looked her up and down. "Definitely sexy, B. Don't know why you were complainin'."

"Just shut up, Faith."

She chuckled as she watched Buffy walk over to the mirror that hung on the closet door and check herself out. She rolled her eyes at Faith before she walked out of the bedroom, flipping off the light as she did and leaving Faith sitting there on the bed in the dark. She just shook her head, got up, and joined the others down in the hallway as they gathered a couple of weapons and discussed where they would go on patrol. Kennedy and Satsu were going to sweep the cemetery nearby, Carmen and Amber were going to go meet up with Perry and Marshall and do a sweep in the neighbourhood near the Hellmouth. Buffy and Faith were going to go to the cemetery with Angel to see if they could pick up on any clues in relation to the mass murder that had happened.

If it were up to Faith, she'd be joining the others instead of playing detective with Buffy and Angel, but it wasn't up to her. It never would be. She was no leader and apparently Buffy wasn't either. As Giles had said before Andrew brought out the 'Slayer Gear' outfits, every decision made was made by everyone, not just whoever thought they were in charge. Nobody was in charge, although Faith knew that Giles was trying to have a little more pull over the rest of them. It'd be interesting to find out just how long Buffy would take it before she put her foot down. If anyone could stand up to Giles and tell him that enough was enough, it was Buffy.

She, Angel, and Buffy were the last to leave the house and they walked in complete silence, Angel ahead of them and Buffy next to her. She tried to keep focused, but she had a burst of adrenaline surge through her body as soon as she felt a couple of vampires nearby. From the look in Buffy's eyes, she felt them too, and they took off, ditching Angel as they went to do what they did best. Slay.


	33. Chapter 33

After four days, they found the nest of vampires that were behind the mass murders and took them out with Angel's help. They'd spent two days on the wrong trail, following a demons-as-perpetrators lead that Perry had dug up, before beginning to zero in on the true vamp culprits. Angel had left just a few short hours ago, barely saying a word to either Faith or Buffy other than goodbye. Once he'd left, Faith had to practically drag Buffy back to the apartment and she knew from the way Buffy was reacting to her that something was up.

She didn't question it; barely said a word to her either as they stripped out of their clothes and climbed into bed together. Taking out that nest of vampires had pushed the envelope of the amount of adrenaline and power Faith felt surging through her body. She was on a high and wound tight, but with the last three nights of getting next to no sleep, they were both out like a light as soon as Buffy pulled the soft silk sheets over them. When morning came Faith was woken by soft caresses over her stomach and she couldn't fight off the smile as she opened her eyes to see Buffy staring over at her, a smile on her face and that look in her eyes. The look Faith had grown _very_ used to seeing in the last month.

"Morning," Buffy said softly as she leaned in for a kiss.

"Mmm, morning, B."

"It's Saturday, right?" Buffy asked before Faith could continue the sweet kiss. "We don't have to do anything today."

"It's Saturday and we got the whole fuckin' weekend off," Faith smiled widely as she moved to hover over Buffy. "I just wanna spend the whole day in bed with ya."

"Sounds like a dream, but you're forgetting something."

"What?"

"I promised you I'd cook you dinner, let you have me for dessert, and then you have to take me out after."

Faith hadn't forgotten about the promises Buffy had made and her promises she'd made to Buffy to take her out on a proper date since they had yet to go on one. Patrolling at night did not count as a date—at least it didn't to Buffy—so Faith knew she had to go along with it and do whatever made Buffy happy. She didn't _have_ to, more like _wanted_ to. It really never failed to amaze her how compassionate she was when it came to Buffy and how sensitive she'd become when it came to her needs and her emotions. The whole deal with the empathy, feeling it more than any human would normally feel, had done a number on her. Two months ago she would have had a serious problem with it, but now it didn't even matter anymore.

She knew she was getting lost in her thoughts yet again, barely having time to register that fact before Buffy was devouring her lips with her own in a deep and passionate kiss. She was so lost in the kiss she barely had time to react as Buffy flipped them over and straddled her waist, never breaking away from the kiss, not even for a second. She couldn't hold back the low husky moan as she felt Buffy's pussy grind into her pubic bone and felt just how wet she was. She gripped onto the smaller woman's hips and forced her down a little lower, causing Buffy to suck on her bottom lip as Faith pulled her hard against her own equally wet pussy.

"You know something?" Buffy whispered as she pulled back from the kiss. "You've made me addicted to sex."

"Nah, you're just addicted to pussy now. And you're addicted to me," Faith chuckled softly. "The sex is just a bonus."

Buffy rolled her eyes, but smirked as Faith pulled her back down for another kiss, never wanting to stop. Buffy put on the brakes, though, pulling back yet again and looking down into Faith's eyes. She just smiled at her sweetly, her thoughts nearly clearly written across her face, but Faith said nothing as Buffy leaned back until she was sitting up, still slowly grinding her pussy against Faith's.

"What's up, B?" Faith asked softly as she ran her hands lightly over Buffy's thighs.

"I was just thinking."

"Uh oh," Faith chuckled as Buffy just shook her head and scoffed. "What're ya thinkin' about, B?"

"Thinking how we've been here for two months now and a month of that was spent _there_."

"Oh?" Faith asked, confused as to where this was going. Sometimes she just didn't get Buffy and how she'd start thinking of something and try to talk to her about it yet didn't quite explain it well enough for her to get what she was trying to say. "What about it, B?"

"We've been together a little less than that and it feels like so much longer. I know you're wondering why I'm bringing this up now, but I was talking to Dawn yesterday and..." Buffy trailed off as she slid off of Faith and laid on her side next to her. "She told me it's awfully fast for us and I tried to explain that it wasn't like we didn't know each other for years before, right?"

"So, what're ya sayin'? You wanna slow this down?"

"No," she said quickly as she shook her head and tried to fight off the smile. "Definitely don't want to slow it down at all. I was trying to tell her that it's different with you because it really is. Then she told me about her and Xander."

"Really?"

"Yeah," she sighed. Faith was rather surprised she wasn't more upset about it. "It's um...definitely high on the scale of weird with the two of them because hello, age difference, and then the fact that Dawnie is like a little sister to him."

"Technically not anymore," Faith said, trying not to laugh since she knew Buffy was gearing up for a serious talk. "So what then, B?"

"I didn't ask her much, but she told me it 'just happened' between them. You know what I told her?"

"That the same thing happened with us?" Faith asked and Buffy nodded her head. "And why are ya bringing this up now?"

"Because I sort of, kind of invited them to come out with us tonight. Like on a double date. Well triple date since Kennedy and Will are coming along too."

"Great," Faith said, feigning enthusiasm over it. "Will and Ken trying to rekindle their relationship or somethin'?"

"Trying, yeah. Faith, can I ask you something?"

"Even if I say no, you will anyway."

"Do you think there's something going on between Satsu and Kennedy?"

"Like what?"

"Oh god, there is, isn't there? Is she cheating on Willow?"

"What?" Faith laughed as she sat up a little. "Far as I know Ken hasn't done anything that would be considered as cheatin', unless making moon eyes at another woman is considered cheatin'..."

Buffy fell into silence as she stared up at the ceiling. Faith just turned on her side and very lightly began to trace circles over her stomach, watching as the goose bumps formed under her touch. She knew if Buffy had brought that up that it was bothering her, but she only had one thing on her mind as her eyes roamed over Buffy's naked body, her lower half barely covered by the silk sheets.

"I'm sorry."

"What for, B?"

"For bringing all that up."

"Nah," Faith smiled as she leaned in and kissed her softly as her hand slipped between her legs. "Told ya before just to speak what's on your mind. Ain't gonna stop me from doin' what I wanna do."

"And what's that?"

"You."

Faith smirked at Buffy as she very lightly teased her fingers over her clit. She stopped and winked as she reached over for the handcuffs she'd stashed in the bedside drawer the other night—unknown to Buffy—and she pulled them out, testing Buffy's reaction as she held onto them.

"You game, B?"

"Sure. Although it's a little early to get a bit kinky, isn't it?"

"No such thing."

"Maybe we'll save these for later," Buffy whispered as she took the handcuffs from Faith's hand and placed them on the nightstand. Faith wondered if it was a trust thing with Buffy being handcuffed to the bed while she had her naughty little way with her. She wondered if maybe it was a Spike thing and as soon as that thought registered in her mind, she wished it hadn't. "Are you upset I'm not game to do this now?"

"Nah."

"Faith..."

"What, B? I'm not upset. Just thought I'd...forget about it," she muttered and she pulled Buffy close to her as she kicked off the sheets from the bed entirely. "Got plenty of time to do that kinda shit. Just thought it'd be fun to try it out now. We ain't never used any toys or shit either, so y'know me. Naturally curious and willin' to try anything once."

"Like what?"

"Ya really gotta ask? Pretty straight laced, aren't ya, B?"

"I've only ever owned one vibrator in my life..." she said softly, her face flushing a little as Faith raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"One?" Faith questioned. "How many times did ya use it?"

"Almost every night after patrol."

"And when did ya get that?"

"Before I moved to Sunnydale," Buffy said under her breath quickly. "I...went to a sex shop in LA before we moved there and I stole it."

"Ya stole it?" Faith chuckled as she shook her head. "So ya did have a bit of bad girl in ya even way back then, huh?"

"God, I can't even believe we're talking about this."

"So, what do ya think about maybe getting a few toys?" Faith asked as she reached up and gently and very lightly traced her fingers over the edge of Buffy's lips as she waited for her to answer. "I keep getting these thoughts of fuckin' ya with a strap-on."

"Have you ever..."

"Just once."

"Oh. What was it like?"

"Pretty fuckin' hot if you ask me," she chuckled softly and stopped when she saw the look in Buffy's eyes like she'd betrayed her or something. "Was a long time ago, B. Before I even came to Sunnydale. Don't even remember her name."

"Oh."

"Y'know you're all sorts of fuckin' adorable when ya get jealous," she smiled sweetly as Buffy turned her head away from her and scoffed. "Pretty fuckin' sexy too. Ya know you're the only one I wanna be with, B. No reason to get all jealous over past conquests. Ya don't see me getting all broody and jealous over yours."

"No, but you got all broody and jealous when Angel was here."

"Got plenty of reason for that and you know that, B."

"Can we not...talk about this right now? Or ever?"

"Fine," Faith said easily, smiling as Buffy finally turned to look at her again. "I can think of better things to be doin' right now, like you for example."

Every once in a while, hints of her old self would come back and it was hard to figure out how Buffy reacted to that. She knew that Buffy loved this new side to her, the sweet side, the side that was totally a drastic difference from the Faith she used to be. But she was an animal in bed most times and sweet and tender other times when she knew that's what Buffy wanted and needed. The only time bits of her old self came back was when the lust was almost too much to try to control. Far as she knew, Buffy sure didn't seem to mind and half the time she wondered if Buffy encouraged that side of her to come out and play. Although she'd toned down almost everything in her life, she never would lose the stamina she had when she fucked, nor would she ever lose the enthusiasm and the fact that she loved to worship Buffy's body and make her come nearly screaming her name.

And she knew Buffy just _loved_ it.

She tried to push out most of their conversation, tried to think of just Buffy naked with her in bed, their bed, and tried to think of all the ways she could take her until Buffy begged her to stop. It caused a rather lascivious smirk to creep over her lips as she slipped her hand back down between Buffy's legs, not touching her where she wanted her just yet.

"Wait," Buffy breathed out as she twisted around to look at the clock on the dresser. "Shit!"

"What?" Faith asked, slightly dazed from being pushed away as Buffy scrambled to get out of bed. "B, what the fuck?"

"I can't believe I almost forgot," she said quickly as she pulled out clean clothes from her side of the dresser. "Shit!"

Faith groaned as she leaned up on her elbows and watched Buffy as she threw on a pair of shorts and a black tank top that she recognized at her own. "What the hell is goin' on, B? What'd you forget?"

"You obviously forgot too," she laughed as she grabbed some clothes and tossed them towards her. "Your mother is coming by to see the apartment today, remember? She'll be here any minute now so hurry up and get dressed."

"Fuck, is it already noon? Feels way earlier," Faith sighed as she reluctantly got dressed in the clothes Buffy had tossed her. "And I didn't forget. My mind was a little preoccupied. Besides," she said as she pulled her tank over her head and smoothed it out, "the whole point of being here is so we don't get fuckin' interrupted."

Buffy was already out the bedroom door, picking up the clothes they'd scattered on the walk from the front door to the bedroom a couple of nights before. The buzzer went off and Faith just groaned loudly as she tried to make the bed, listening as Buffy and Jackie spoke briefly before Buffy pressed the button to let her in downstairs. She grabbed the handcuffs and shoved them into the drawer, shoving her own very naughty thoughts into the back of her mind as soon as she heard the soft knocks on the door.

Jackie, in the last four days, had made significant changes. She was no longer intimidated by the world and everyone around her, not like she had been at first. She was no longer talking to herself—well, for the most part—and that made Faith wonder if her spending a little over twenty years in a world between worlds had really altered her sanity permanently or if it was just an effect of that world which would dissipate now that she was back home in the real world. Faith hadn't spent much time with her, but from what she'd seen Jackie was growing rather close with Giles and it really didn't surprise her when she walked out of the bedroom just as Buffy let Jackie inside to find that Giles had come along with her.

She was trying not to look irritated and pissed off that they were there since she should have remembered they were supposed to come by around noon. Buffy was already in the kitchen filling up the kettle and getting out a couple of mugs while she and Giles talked quietly. Jackie stood by the couch looking around the apartment and when she looked over at Faith, who was still standing in the bedroom doorway, she smiled and motioned for her to come and sit on the couch with her.

"You forgot, didn't you?" Jackie asked softly, smiling as Faith just shrugged and sat down on the opposite end of the couch. "I hope we didn't interrupt anything."

"Nah, its cool, Jackie. We kinda overslept. No big deal."

"Everyone has been so wonderful to me," Jackie said, smiling as she looked over at Giles and Buffy still standing in the kitchen talking quietly. "You've become a part of a great family, Faith. A really great family. You've been blessed."

"Right," she replied and she couldn't help but smile as she too looked over at Giles and Buffy, her smile growing bigger as Buffy turned to look right back at her. "It's great."

"I heard a lot of your past from Rupert. He said when you came back he wasn't so sure if you could be reformed and seek out your redemption, but you pulled through for them, all of them, and his opinion of you has changed drastically. He looks at you as he would his own daughter, the way he looks at Buffy, and from the things I've heard from the others that is pretty big."

Faith chuckled softly as she broke away from the intense gaze with Buffy to look over at Jackie. She wanted to say that it should have always been that way when it came to her, Buffy, and the rest of them, but she didn't. There was no point in thinking of the would of, could of, should of. If she learned one thing on her path to redemption, it was never to think of ways she could change the past, but to think of ways to change her future while forgiving herself for all the wrong she'd ever done before. She knew there was one fault she had to stop pushing away and thinking of it as a fault, as a wrong, as something that wasn't _her_. She had to stop fighting who she was changing into and she had to learn to just embrace this whole new side of herself. Being in love had definitely changed her and opened her eyes more to the world that surrounded her.

And her whole world now was Buffy. She was so in love with her it almost hurt. Almost. Once she'd let herself just feel it, once she'd let herself go, she was filled with something so powerful, more so than the power she now felt, and she was determined to hold on to it for as long as she could. Forever if it was possible. Buffy had given her a second chance and what a second chance it had turned out to be.

"It's quite a nice place," Giles said as he walked over with a tray and placed it on the coffee table. "Very spacious."

"It's great, isn't it?" Buffy said as she picked up a mug of tea and sat down next to Faith.

"Perry said it's paid for," Faith shrugged, "and he told me that Sam had it put in my name. Only thing I gotta worry about is paying the cable bill and buying food."

"You two will come to the house before patrol each night?" Giles asked as he picked up a cup of tea for himself before sitting on the armchair that flanked the right side of the couch. "We still all need to work together and I could use your help in further training the girls."

"Of course," Buffy answered as she casually placed her hand on Faith's thigh as she looked over at her for a moment before turning back to look at Giles. "We want the weekends off. Every weekend unless there's an apocalypse to deal with."

"I'm sure it would be possible to arrange for something like that. You two will be needed. You are strong, much stronger than the other girls, and they need a leader."

"Satsu can do it," Buffy said firmly. "Or Kennedy could if she gets her attitude under control. We all know how me being in charge ended up before."

"But in the end you pulled through," Faith reminded her, smiling as Buffy just shrugged and ran her fingers slowly over her thigh. "You _are_ a leader, B. Don't sell yourself short even though you are a little on the short side."

"Hey!" Buffy laughed as she playfully punched Faith in the thigh.

"I'm serious."

"About what part? And if you say the short part I am so going to kick your ass."

"The leader part, although," she smirked as she leaned in so she was the only one that heard the whispers that crept past her lips, "I wouldn't mind if you tried to kick my ass. Nothing beats foreplay like that, B."

"Are they always like this?" Giles asked, mostly questioning it in general and aloud, not expecting any sort of answer. "I am sure you two are wondering why I came here with Jackie," he said, clearing his throat a little until they both looked over at him. "I've gotten a phone call from an associate in England. It seems the girls who have become Slayers yet again lack the requisite training to use their skills properly. There's been discussion of opening a training school of sorts."

"Oh yeah?" Faith asked, shifting a little to get comfortable. "Where's this training school gonna be?"

"I was hoping to have one here in Cleveland. That is if we can find proper accommodations for what we need. While that would normally be quite a difficult task, it may be made somewhat easier if Perry can find the deed to this building and transfer the ownership. He informed me that most of the apartments here are empty and have been for quite some time. There is sufficient space in the basement and on the main floor that we could easily convert into a training room and common area."

"Got it all figured out, don't ya?" Faith asked, feigning enthusiasm and interest in this whole thing when all she wanted to do was ask them to leave and take Buffy back to bed. "So if this goes through, you'll need us here, right?"

"I will, yes. I cannot do the training on my own and the two of you are the only ones who can properly train the girls and get them ready for the world they'll enter as soon as they are finished with training. There are talks of placing teams in each city that has an active Hellmouth. Teams comprising possibly a dozen slayers, though half that number may be a more realistic starting point until more slayers are fully trained."

"Weekends are still ours to take off and do as we want," Buffy said quietly. "I've never had time off, Giles. I think I'm entitled to it now. If we do this…" she sighed as she paused to take a sip of her tea, "if we do this, then we're going to do it how _we_ think it should be done."

"Of course. We'll figure it all out soon enough," Giles said with a small smile. "The only things I'm asking for are your cooperation in the initial planning and launch of this endeavour and your involvement in the daily training of the girls."

"Not on the weekends," Buffy said, and Faith tried not to laugh. Buffy was really determined to secure the weekends off and she had no doubt in her mind as to some of the reasons why. "What about the others?"

"Dawn has asked to be trained as a Watcher. Andrew has asked for it as well, but I think he'd be better suited as an...assistant of sorts," Giles said and the three of them laughed. "Xander, Dawn, and Andrew have asked to stay at the house for a little while once we move to our new location. We'll need every empty apartment in this building for the girls we'll bring in."

"So," Faith said as she leaned forward and placed her mug on the coffee table, "when are you plannin' to get this all going?"

"Soon. We'll have a meeting at the house tomorrow afternoon and we'll go over absolutely everything then. I just wanted to inform both of you about this before we do anything."

"What about Jackie?" Faith asked as she looked over at her mother sitting there quietly as she sipped her tea.

"She will remain with us, acting as house mother to all the girls," Giles replied, smiling over at Jackie who just smiled right back. "Willow has taken her under her wing, so to speak, the last couple of days and while all of you have been out on patrol Willow has been teaching her very basic spells. Protection spells, mostly."

Faith was still listening as Giles went on and on. She tried not to think of how badly she wanted a cigarette, but she'd already gone over a month without one and she had promised Buffy she wouldn't get back into the habit again. She was addicted to something else completely now—Buffy. Unfortunately, she couldn't do a thing about her craving now, not while Giles and Jackie were there. Having Buffy idly stroking her fingers over her thigh near her knee definitely wasn't helping her keep her libido under control either.

Giles and Jackie stayed for over an hour and when they finally left, Faith practically shoved Buffy up against the door as soon as it closed and her lips were instantly on hers, her hands seeking out every part of Buffy she urged to touch. Just for a moment, she thought back to the first time between her and Buffy and how Julie had been there yet hadn't quite quelled the mood and the love-lust between them. It was when she had let down all her walls and let Buffy in completely and she knew that it was also when Buffy had done exactly the same, broke down her walls and let her in too. They'd been nearly insatiable since that night and even now, looking back, Faith wouldn't have done anything differently, but she would have chosen for them not to be interrupted by Julie.

"Faith..." Buffy moaned as Faith's hands slid beneath her shirt. "Slow down, baby."

"Slow?"

"Yes, _slow_."

Faith let out a frustrated growl as she picked Buffy up and wrapped her legs around her waist. "Don't know the meaning of slow right now, B."

"Well, if we start we'll never stop and I won't be able to get to the store and buy what I need to make you dinner tonight."

"We'll order in."

"No," Buffy said as she shook her head and slid off of Faith to stand back down on her own two feet. "I want to cook you dinner tonight, Faith. For once I just want to do this...right. I want this to mean more between us than just sex."

"The hell? B, it _does_ mean more than sex. I'm fuckin' in love with you, B. Ain't ever been in love with anyone before. The sex is just a huge fuckin' bonus."

"I know," Buffy said softly as she took both of Faith's hands in her own and smiled at her. "I can honestly tell you that I've never had something quite like this before. It's...intoxicating being with you, Faith."

"I'm like a drug, baby. So why don't ya come on over here and get your fix?"

Faith was already backing up towards the bedroom, smirking at Buffy as she slowly, sensually ran her tongue over her lips. She knew Buffy wouldn't be able to resist. She never could. Faith had some kind of power over her just as Buffy did with her. She watched as Buffy struggled not to move away from near the door, struggled not to give in to the temptation to follow her into the bedroom, and she watched as Buffy gave in and practically tackled her, kissing her fiercely as she continued to make her way into the bedroom and over to the bed. She let Buffy push her back on the bed and she pulled Buffy down with her without even breaking away from the kiss.

They both ignored the sound of the phone ringing in the other room as insistent hands tore each other's clothes off as quickly as they could. Faith wasted no time in flipping Buffy over and trailing her lips over every inch of skin that she could as she moved down her body. She stopped when she reached Buffy's bellybutton and she looked up at her as she trailed her tongue around it slowly. Buffy raised her hips, trying to create much needed friction, but Faith pulled her body up, denying Buffy as she dipped her tongue into her bellybutton ever so slowly. She trailed the tips of her fingers over Buffy's stomach as she began to lightly kiss her way down, purposely avoiding where Buffy so desperately wanted her as she settled between her legs and ran her hands up her smooth inner thighs as she spread Buffy open wide.

Faith grew drunk on just how wet Buffy was and she hadn't even touched her yet. She looked up at her, staring at her as she had her eyes closed and her hands clenching the sheets as she waited for Faith to touch her. Faith took a deep breath and sighed contently as Buffy's sweet arousal filled the air. She snuck out her tongue for a small and quick taste. As soon as her tongue touched Buffy's clit, Buffy's hips raised up from the bed, demanding more. She dipped her tongue inside her hole, feeling the heat emanating from Buffy's core and nearly scorching her tongue as she drove it in as deep as she could, drinking in her juices and moaning softly at the heady yet sweet taste.

"Faith...don't tease me," Buffy pleaded, nearly whimpering as Faith removed her tongue and ever so slowly eased a solitary finger inside of her.

"Thought ya wanted to go slow, B?"

"Fuck slow," she moaned as Faith slid a second finger inside of her and watched as Buffy leaned up a little to look down at her. She let out a wild moan as Faith's lips latched onto her clit as she fucked her fingers hard and deep inside of her. "Oh god...Faith..."

"Yeah, B?" Faith asked as she pulled her lips away from sucking hard on her clit, watching as Buffy's body shivered at the sudden loss. "What ya need, B?"

"Turn...around..."

Faith raised an eyebrow and smirked as she dipped her head down, removing her fingers and licking over her slit with one long, tentative lick. She nipped at the inside of her thigh before she complied with Buffy's request and turned around. She placed each knee on each side of Buffy's head and before she could take in a deep breath, Buffy's tongue plunged deep inside her cunt. A shockwave of pleasure surged through her body and it took her a moment to compose herself long enough for her to continue with her ministrations on Buffy's pussy.

Her heart was racing and her whole body feeling every lick, every touch to her overly sensitive clit. Her breathing had become ragged, heavy, and she pulled back from sucking on Buffy's clit just long enough to catch her breath and to hear the phone that continued to ring. She was close, very close. She could feel her orgasm beginning in the tips of her toes and in the pit of her stomach. She was always ready to pop so quickly and Buffy never let that stop her from going on. With the feel of Buffy's thumb just brushing against her ass, the tip of her finger just barely slipping inside her puckered hole, she was coming hard. She could barely hold herself up as she fucked her fingers in and out of Buffy's clenching hole, wanting to give it to her just as good as she'd gotten herself.

Buffy had stopped and laid her head back as she raked her short nails over Faith's back and ass, raising her hips in time to Faith's fingers sliding easily in and out of her tight, clenching hole. Copying Buffy's move, Faith removed her fingers and slowly slid the tip of her middle finger over her ass and just dipped it in her puckered hole just a little as her lips latched onto her clit. Buffy was coming and she nearly screamed Faith's name as she dug her fingers into the soft skin of her ass. She could feel Buffy's orgasm as it ripped through her body, she could feel it as if she was experiencing it herself and with one last lick, she rolled off and lazily stroked her fingers over Buffy's thigh before moving to lay next her.

"Now ya glad ya came for a fix?" Faith chuckled as Buffy moved to lay her head on her shoulder.

"Yeah that was...wow."

"Ain't done with ya yet, baby."

Buffy stopped her and leaned up a little on her elbow as she stared into Faith's eyes. She just shook her head no and laid a light kiss upon her lips before she slipped off the bed and quickly got dressed. Faith just laid there, groaning softly in protest, as Buffy tossed her clothes at her.

"What gives, B?"

"I need to go out and buy some food for tonight."

"And why are ya making me get dressed?"

"Because you aren't spending the whole afternoon lying in bed."

"Fuck, whatever," Faith grumbled as she rolled onto her stomach and held the pillow close to her.

She didn't even flinch when Buffy slapped her across the ass before she walked out of the bedroom and picked up the phone, which was once again ringing. She could still feel the shockwaves rolling through her body and she gave herself a few minutes before she got off the bed and got dressed. Buffy was still on the phone when she walked out of the bedroom and she was laughing as she turned to look at Faith. She mouthed that it was Willow on the phone and Faith only rolled her eyes as she walked into the kitchen and pulled out a bottle of water from the fridge. She looked over at Buffy when she heard her hang up the phone and she smiled as Buffy walked over to her and pulled her in for a short, sweet kiss.

"Was that Willow calling the whole time?"

"Yeah," Buffy nodded as she leaned in for another kiss. "I won't be long."

Faith just pulled Buffy in for another kiss, deepening it as Buffy moaned softly, her body betraying her as she melted into Faith, her hands tangling into Faith's hair, holding her close. Faith let her go after a moment, smiling as Buffy looked a little dazed from the kiss. She just leaned back against the counter and watched as Buffy grabbed her keys off the table and headed for the door. She looked back just once before she walked out and the smile she flashed made Faith's heart race wildly out of control.

She wondered if it'd always be like that for them, if the passion would always ignite with just a simple look shared between them. Never had anything been so intense for her in her entire life. Buffy was _it_, she knew that now for certain. Buffy was her _one_—as in _the_ one. Just thinking of it made her smile until it hurt. It didn't matter what their past was like, it didn't matter that they'd once been enemies, and the only thing that did matter was the fact that they had given each other a fair chance and found something within each other they'd never been able to find in anyone else. It didn't even matter how insecure they'd both been at the beginning of their relationship because even she knew they both had plenty of reason to feel the way they had at first.

Unable to wipe the smile off her face, she walked to the balcony door and stepped outside. A wave of muggy heat hit her the instant she stepped outside, but it didn't bother her anymore, not after they'd spent a month in that world between worlds where the heat was unbearable. It wasn't even a match to the heat they felt between each other and the thought alone caused a whole new string of emotions to flood through her mind and arousal that just never seemed to go away even when Buffy wasn't by her side. She leaned against the railing, looking down at the street below and she found herself smiling again as she watched Buffy walk out of the building and over to the van where Xander was waiting.

Buffy looked up at her before she climbed into the passenger seat and Faith walked back inside and headed straight for the bathroom to take a shower. She tried to keep her thoughts at bay as she stepped under the hot spray of water, but as always her thoughts took over and all she could think about was Buffy and just what she'd do for their date later that night. She wanted to make it special, she wanted to make Buffy feel special. She'd never done the dating thing before, but she knew she wouldn't have to try too hard to find a way to make the night a night they'd never forget. To her, dinner then a movie and even dancing afterwards was a little too cliché. She wasn't quite sure what else she could do to make the night special, but she knew no matter what they ended up doing it'd end up being a great night.

She got out of the shower just as she heard Buffy come back. She walked out with the towel wrapped around her body, coming up behind Buffy as she put a few things away in the fridge and slipping her arms around her from behind. After briefly squeezing the blonde in a hug, she reached around and grabbed a bottle of water, ignoring Xander as he asked her to grab him one too. Buffy turned around and captured her lips in an intense kiss that continued until Xander cleared his throat to remind them that he was standing right there. Faith flipped him off as she pulled back from the kiss, leaving Buffy almost breathless and blushing as she made her way to the bedroom to get dressed.

It was the little moments that made everything worth it. It made everything right no matter what would happen next.


	34. Chapter 34

Faith was banned from the kitchen, instructed to stay on the couch and watch TV while Buffy cooked them dinner. From where Faith sat she could see Buffy standing by the stove stirring the sauce for the spaghetti while she kept opening the oven door to check on the garlic bread. It was a simple meal and it already smelled delicious. It was making Faith's stomach growl and she couldn't stand sitting on the couch and flipping through the TV channels any longer.

"Smells awesome, B," she said with a smile as she walked into the kitchen and grabbed the bottle of wine off the counter. "Ya want a glass?"

"Sure."

"How much longer?"

"Few minutes at most," Buffy replied, not even turning around from the stove. Faith took that opportunity to sneak a crouton from the salad Buffy had bought at the store. "Hey, I saw that!"

"Saw what?" Faith asked, smirking as she walked up behind Buffy and wrapped her arms around her. "So, what's for dessert, baby?"

"Me."

"Mm," Faith moaned softly as she placed a few light kisses along the back of Buffy's neck. "Is that what the whipped cream is for?"

"Maybe," Buffy laughed as she turned off the burner and turned around in Faith's arms, "but dessert will have to wait until later," she continued, giving Faith a quick peck on the lips. "Now let me get the garlic bread out of the oven before it burns."

"Well, I was thinking," Faith said softly as she let go of Buffy, "we could just stay here tonight, turn off the lights, light a few candles, put on some music, y'know all that romantic crap."

"We're not going out?"

"If you want. Doesn't matter to me, B."

She poured them each a glass of wine—a chardonnay that Buffy had picked out—and helped her bring everything over to the table. Before they actually sat down to eat Faith found a couple of candles, lit them, and shut off all the lights. They were quiet for a while as they ate and Faith tried not to inhale her food despite how hungry she was. A thousand different thoughts ran through her mind as she wondered if this was how things were supposed to go, if this was how a first date should be. She knew they'd done everything pretty backwards; at least they had with the whole actually going out on a date thing. She wanted everything to be perfect and was worried about messing it up. It wasn't until Buffy accidentally knocked over her glass of wine as she reached for a piece of the garlic bread that Faith realized it _was_ perfect and she didn't have to worry.

After they'd finished eating, Faith offered to clean up since Buffy had been the one who cooked everything. Buffy shook her head no, offering to dry the dishes. Faith knew if anyone could have seen them it was a picture of domesticated bliss and two months ago she wouldn't have been caught dead in this kind of situation, but now she wouldn't have it any other way. Soon as the dishes were washed, dried, and put away, Faith grabbed onto Buffy and spun her around as she moved to the middle of the living room.

"So, B, tell me," she whispered into her ear as she held her close. "You wanna go out or stay in?"

"Let's...stay in," Buffy said as she pulled back a little so she could look into Faith's eyes. "Tonight is turning out to be just...perfect."

"It really is."

"I can't believe Xander asked you if all we do is have sex," Buffy laughed as she laced her fingers around the back of Faith's neck. "What did you say to him anyway?"

"Nothing. I said nothing."

"Really?"

"I swear," Faith grinned, knowing just how to mess with her. "I told him he might just be right and for him to keep it in his pants 'til he got home and locked himself up in the bathroom."

"God! That's disgusting!"

"Long as he doesn't tell us how good he gave it to himself while he jacked off thinkin' of us—"

"Stop!" Buffy laughed as she cut Faith off before she could say another word. "I don't ever want to...just no."

"I was just fuckin' with ya, B. I told him nothing other than he should mind his own fuckin' business and stay outta his friends sex lives if he wants to be alive to see another day."

Buffy just shook her head, unable to stop laughing as Faith manoeuvred them towards the bedroom, stopping at the table to blow out the candles. Buffy barely managed to grab the can of whipped cream off the counter before Faith swept her off her feet and carried her into the bedroom. Just as they'd reached their destination the intercom buzzer went off and Faith nearly groaned out in frustration. With a heavy sigh, she placed Buffy down gently on the bed and stormed out of the bedroom and over to the intercom near the door.

"What?"

"Faith? It's me," Kennedy said, voice rough and sounding as though she'd been crying. "I know you and Buffy were doing the whole date thing tonight, but I..."

Faith sighed and pressed the button to unlock the door downstairs without saying a word. She flipped on the lights and let out another heavy sigh as Buffy walked out the bedroom looking very much the same way Faith felt—frustrated and rather pissed off their night had been interrupted by Kennedy.

"What is she doing here?" Buffy asked as Faith unlocked the door and opened it a little before joining her on the couch. "She better have a damn good reason for showing up here tonight."

"Guess we'll find out, right?"

"I still don't understand why you two are friends."

"Why not?" Faith shrugged. "We kinda just hit it off. Besides, I ain't ever had many friends before."

"You've got all of us now."

"Right. And Kennedy is a part of the whole 'all of us' whether ya like it or not. She's Will's girl."

"And if she wasn't?"

"I'd still be her friend, B. She's alright, y'know? And her bein' Red's girl ain't why we're tight."

Buffy just let out a heavy sigh as she grabbed the remote for the TV and flipped it on. A minute later Kennedy walked into the apartment with a backpack slung over her shoulder, eyes red and puffy and the smell of whiskey so strong Faith could have sworn she'd taken a whiskey bath before she'd come over. Faith motioned for Kennedy to drop her bag and follow her out onto the balcony. Something told her that Kennedy had been through something she didn't want to talk about with Buffy right there.

"Alright, Ken," Faith said as soon as they were outside and the door was shut behind her. "What the hell is going on?"

"Satsu."

"What about her?"

"We fucked. Twice. Will caught us. Threw me outta the house," Kennedy muttered under her breath, her words slightly slurred as she pulled out a crushed pack of cigarettes and shakily lit one. "Got nowhere to go now and I didn't...I really didn't want to ruin your night with Buffy, but I didn't know where else to go."

"What the fuck would ya do that for? Ya stupid or something?"

"It was a mistake! Well, the first time was," Kennedy replied, smirking as she took a long drag of her cigarette. "The second time was when we got caught. We were in the basement. Sparring and drinking. I totally get the whole sexual tension thing between you and Buffy now."

"If Willow kicked ya outta the house, where's Satsu?"

"Fuck if I know," Kennedy shrugged, taking another drag as she leaned against the railing. "Would you mind if I crashed here for a couple days, Faith? I am not trying to cramp your style or anything here, I just...I have nowhere else to go."

"You see that?" Faith said as she pointed inside to a sulking Buffy on the couch. "You've fucking ruined our night and now I gotta deal with B bein' miserable as fuck all night."

"Sorry."

"You can crash here. Take the couch. Just don't fuckin' drink any of my beer."

"With the amount I drank with Satsu earlier, I don't think I could stomach drinking anything else right now."

"Y'know you've really fucked up, don't ya?"

"Yeah, I know. I don't even know if I can fix this or if I even _want_ to try and fix this."

"Sleep on it and figure your shit out when you're sober. Ain't nothin' worse than tryin' to figure your shit out when ya can't even think straight."

"I hear you," Kennedy said with a short laugh and crushed her cigarette out in the dirt in the flowerpot that as far as Faith knew had never had a living plant in its soil. "Seriously though, I'm sorry for fucking up yours and Buffy's night."

"What are friends for, right?" Faith chuckled as she opened the door and waited for Kennedy to go inside first. When she didn't move, Faith grabbed onto her arm and pulled her inside. "Why don't ya go get yourself cleaned up and I'll make ya a cup of coffee or somethin'."

Kennedy just nodded and disappeared into the bathroom. Faith went to fill the kettle and placed it on the stove before joining Buffy on the couch. She took the remote from Buffy's hand and flipped the TV off as she tried to get Buffy to look at her.

"B?"

"What?"

"You okay?"

"Fine," she said coldly. "What is she doing here?"

"Long story. Thinkin' it's best if she tells you what's goin' on."

"I heard. Slayer hearing, remember? It was hard not to listen in. I can't believe she'd do that to Willow!" Buffy was angry, really angry. "I just talked to her this afternoon and everything was fine. She even told me that she and Kennedy were going to work things out. I can't believe she'd do that to her!"

"Shit happens and sometimes ya make stupid decisions. I know all about that."

"How long is she staying for?"

"Dunno, B. Figure I'll let her crash on the couch 'til Will cools down and she'll go back to the house. I can't just tell her to fuck off. She's piss drunk and upset. If anything happened to her out there off o' me turfin' her cos you're all pouty that our night is ruined, I'd feel guilty about it for fuckin' ever."

"Right. Whatever."

"And y'know somethin', B? Our night ain't ruined. Just got a slight change in plans. Still want to have dessert," Faith said softly, wiggling her eyebrows as she stood up from the couch and pulled Buffy with her. "Only problem now is, we got a listenin' audience so," she leaned in, her breath caressing Buffy's ear and making her shudder, "now ya gotta be quiet. Ain't gotta choice now unless ya get off on other people hearing ya moan and scream my name while I eat ya 'til you can't feel your legs."

She knew the effect the huskiness in her voice had on Buffy. It relaxed her, turned her on to the point where she was almost driving herself crazy just for holding back and trying to resist. Buffy gave her a quick kiss before she went to the bedroom and closed the door behind her. Faith waited by the bathroom door for Kennedy to come out and when she finally did she handed her a few sheets and a pillow.

"Make yourself at home. Don't let anyone in, answer the phone if it rings and ya ain't passed the fuck out, and do not—"

"Drink your beer?" Kennedy cut in as she made her way over to the couch. "Heard you the first time, Faith."

"Nah, I was gonna say don't fucking bother us. I got a date with my girl and a can of whipped cream."

"Kinky," Kennedy laughed as she winked at Faith. "Who knew Buffy had it in her?"

"Life is full of surprises, Ken. Don't ever forget that."

Faith left her with that, sauntering over to the bedroom and walking inside, making sure the door was locked as soon as she'd shut it behind her. She drank in the sight before her, her breath hitching in her chest as she looked over at Buffy laid out on the bed in only a red bra and matching panties. Kennedy being there unexpectedly certainly hadn't jarred the mood completely. Faith could hardly move away from the door as she watched Buffy take the can of whipped cream and spray a line down her stomach. Her mouth was watering at the sight and she stripped out of her clothes, feeling as if she was doing it in slow motion as she made her way over to the bed.

She was so completely absorbed by the sight of Buffy that she hadn't even noticed the candles she'd lit and placed on the dresser and on the bedside tables. She didn't even notice that the small radio was playing quietly until she stood at the foot of the bed and knelt down as she reached forward and took a swipe of the whipped cream off of Buffy's stomach. She licked it from her fingers, making a slow show of it and watching as Buffy's eyes glazed over slightly when she dipped her head down and licked some of the whipped cream from around her bellybutton.

"Never really liked whipped cream," Faith murmured as she took another tentative lick, "but it tastes fuckin' delicious on you."

"Mm-hmm."

Faith smirked before proceeding to lick the rest of it off, grabbing the can before Buffy had a chance to. She shook her head no as she reached for the clasp at the front of Buffy's bra and snapped it open. "If we're gonna do this, B, we're gonna do this my way."

Her heart was hammering in her chest as she sat astride Buffy and pushed aside her bra, exposing rock hard nipples that were just begging for her to suck them. She shook the can before spraying just a little bit on each of the dusty pink nipples and she wiggled her eyebrows as Buffy ran her hands up her thighs and cupped her pussy, teasing her clit with the palm of her hand as she dipped a finger inside her. She leaned forward just a little and stared into Buffy's eyes, trying not to let the feel of Buffy's ministrations on her wet pussy distract her too much.

"Don't make me handcuff ya to the bed, B."

"You wouldn't."

"Oh ya know I would," Faith chuckled softly as she lowered her head down and licked off the whipped cream from Buffy's left nipple. She wrapped her lips around the hard nub, moaning as Buffy rubbed her throbbing clit just once before pulling her hand away.

She could only faintly hear the sounds of the TV in the other room and she let out a soft sigh as she trailed her lips over to Buffy's other nipple, wasting not a second more as she licked it clean. Before she could grab the can again she found herself being flipped over onto her back with Buffy straddling her waist. She grinned as she stared up at her, watching as Buffy slipped out of her bra and tossed it to the floor rather haphazardly, glancing back quickly to make sure it went to the floor and not towards the candles sitting on top of the dresser.

"Thought you were dessert, B?"

"I don't get some for myself?" Buffy asked, pouting slightly as she fought with Faith for the can. "I want a little taste too."

"You'll get a taste, B, soon as I'm done with you," Faith said and she nearly growled as she flipped them back over and practically tore Buffy's panties off before she straddled her legs. "Fuckin' damn shame we aren't alone right now."

"It really is..."

"I'd take ya hard and fast, B. Then I'd make love to ya all night long, soft and slow, just the way ya like it sometimes."

"I think you like it too," Buffy whispered, her eyes sparkling in the soft glow of the candlelight.

"Damn fucking right I do."

Buffy pulled her down for a searing kiss, one of those that made Faith's toes curl in pleasure and her body buzz immensely. She grabbed the can without breaking from the kiss and Buffy grabbed it at the same time. This time they didn't have any control over their strength and the can exploded, sending the whipped cream flying all over the room.

"Fuck," Faith laughed as she pulled back from the kiss. "Look what you fuckin' did, B."

"Me? You're the one who—"

Faith cut her off with another kiss, tossing the crushed and fragmented can to the floor. They kissed for the longest time, alternating between those searing kisses that left them breathless and the soft, tender ones that made them want more. So much more. Buffy was holding back and Faith knew it was because they weren't entirely alone, but she didn't let it stop her from raining kisses over Buffy's jaw and neck as her hands roamed over her small, pert breasts. Buffy stopped her from going any further and pulled her back in for a kiss as she spread her legs for Faith to lie between them. Hard and fast wouldn't happen, not with a listening audience in the other room, but it didn't matter at all to Faith. All that _did_ matter was being with Buffy in any way that she could.

She broke away from the kiss, just for a moment, to look down at Buffy. She was drunk on lust, on love, on the wine they'd had while they ate dinner, and Faith knew she'd never seen anything more beautiful than the sight before her. They'd come a long way since that first kiss, a _very_ long way, and it hadn't even been two months. It felt like so much longer to her and she knew it didn't matter how long they'd really been together for, all that mattered was the fact they'd gotten over their insecurities, their doubts, and just learned to feel what they felt for each other.

"Always thinking," Buffy said with a smile as she ran her fingers over Faith's brow. "Always, huh?"

"Yeah. Sometimes I can't help it."

"What are you thinking about?"

"Us. You."

"All good thoughts I hope," Buffy smiled again as Faith nodded her head slowly. "I was thinking about us too. About how we were at first and how we are now."

Faith raised an eyebrow, smiling down at her as she laid a light kiss on her lips. "I think we're sharing thoughts now, B."

"You think so?" Buffy laughed as she laced her fingers through her hair at the back of her head. "I don't think that's such a bad thing if we are."

"No, just a little freaky."

"You're a little freaky sometimes."

"B!" Faith chuckled as Buffy rolled them over until she was on top. "Sometimes I don't understand how it got like this between us, then I start thinkin' that it's probably normal for me to be thinkin' like that cos it's us, y'know? We've never done anything _normal_, ever."

"You say it like it's a bad thing."

"Nah. It's a good thing, baby."

"We seem to have semi-serious talks right when we're..." Buffy trailed off as Faith raised her hips and pulled Buffy down at the same time, grinding their pussies hard together. "Faith..."

"Always so fuckin' wet for me," she murmured into Buffy's neck as they began to grind into each other slowly. "Always so fuckin' ready for me, aren't you?"

"Mm...yeah, always, baby."

They became a tangles mess of bodies, limbs and sheets, rolling and fighting for the top position. Their bodies were slick with a sheen of perspiration and their hands clung to each other, nails dug into skin as they reached the peak of their orgasm together. Faith rolled off of Buffy, smiling contentedly and trying to catch her breath. Until she looked over at the wall that was covered in whipped cream, that is—at that point she couldn't help but start laughing even as she gasped for breath at the same time. Buffy turned to look at the same wall and giggled as she curled up next to Faith and laid her head down on her shoulder.

"We should probably clean that up," Buffy whispered as she laid a few light kisses along Faith's neck and shoulder. "I really can't move right now."

"Me neither," Faith replied as she trailed her fingers lightly over Buffy's arm that was draped over her stomach. "Ya want me to go grab the bottle of wine and we'll finish it off?"

"Not yet. Comfy."

Faith just closed her eyes and smiled as she felt Buffy's fingers trail a blazing path across her stomach and to her right nipple. With one soft, nearly feather-light touch, it grew hard and made that delicious ache between her legs come back. She loved how her body reacted to Buffy and she loved the way her soft touches made her feel. It was like electricity flowing between them with just a touch and it gave off such an intoxicating high that she didn't know how she'd gone so long without knowing just how it felt to be touched by someone so lovingly.

Love certainly didn't scare her anymore. She cherished it, craved it, held onto it with all that she had and wanted more. It got her thinking about the effects from the barrier spell and wondering if it weren't for that, would they even be where they were at the moment? Would they have found something within each other so soon or would it have taken a lot longer? Whatever the answer was, she wasn't sure and didn't really care since all that mattered to her was the fact that there she was, lying in bed with Buffy and basking in the afterglow with Buffy teasing her fingers over her nipple.

"Aside from Kennedy showing up, tonight has been amazing," Buffy whispered as she lifted her head to look up at Faith. "If I didn't feel so happy and relaxed right now, I don't know, I'd probably go out there and kick Kennedy out."

Faith laughed softly as she kissed the top of Buffy's head. "Definitely has been one hell of a night, B. Sure beats being out on patrol cos all I wanna do when we are is bring ya back home and..." she trailed off as she turned on her side and ran her hand up the length of Buffy's upper body.

"You're insatiable, Faith."

"Good thing you are too."

"Willow told me earlier how we are a perfect match for each other and she told me I should have done this with you years ago and saved myself all the grief and heartbreak I've had since then."

"She's a wise woman."

"I should probably call her, find out how she's doing. After what Kennedy just put her through...I don't even want to know how badly she's taking this."

"Sure she's fine, B."

"You didn't see how she reacted after Warren killed Tara. She's barely recovered since then and she doesn't have her magic under complete control yet."

Buffy untangled herself from Faith and the covers and grabbed her clothes. Faith groaned softly as she sat up in bed and watched her as she got dressed. "B, what are you doing?"

"You don't know what it was like before and right now she needs her friends. She needs me. God, I should have called her before," Buffy said as she shook her head and grabbed the brush off the dresser and ran it quickly through her hair.

"Buffy...I'm sure she's fine. If she wasn't, don't you think you would've known by now?"

Buffy ignored her as she blew out the candles and flipped on the bedside light. She grabbed Faith's clothes and tossed them towards her as she made her way to the door. Faith could only close her eyes and try to keep her cool as Buffy walked out of the bedroom and quickly shut the door behind her. Despite how 'perfect' their night had been going, one little thing had turned it all around and made it one big mess with a side helping of almost perfect. She pushed down her anger and disappointment and pulled on her clothes reluctantly, listening to Buffy and Kennedy talking in the living room.

Buffy had a few choice words with her before she stormed out of the apartment. Faith walked out of the bedroom, headed straight for the fridge, and pulled out a bottle of beer. She walked out to the balcony, needing the fresh air, and didn't even say a word to Kennedy as she followed her out there. When Kennedy offered her a cigarette she took one and lit it, instantly feeling rather light-headed as the nicotine rushed through her body.

"Shit, I knew I should've gone somewhere else," Kennedy said quietly after a few long minutes of silence between them. "I really didn't mean to fuck up your night with Buffy."

"S'okay, Ken. Plenty of other nights ahead of us to be alone together. Pretty fucked up, though, considering this was supposed to be our 'first' date and all."

"I'm really sorry, Faith. I fucked up with Willow and I came here thinking that..." she sighed as she shook her head and took a long drag of her cigarette. "I shouldn't have even come here."

"Ya needed a friend and that's what I am, right? Doesn't matter what else was goin' on, friends are supposed to be there for each other, right?"

"Then why did Buffy call me a cunt and take off?"

"She didn't call you a cunt."

"You didn't see the look in her eyes. Just knew she was really saying that instead of calling me a whore and a loser for cheating on her best friend with the new girl."

"Why'd you do something so stupid like that anyway? Hope Satsu was fuckin' worth it, Ken."

Kennedy just frowned as she leaned against the railing and fought back the tears. "That's the thing," she said as she hiccupped, trying to stop herself from losing it completely. "Satsu _was_ worth it and I'm not just saying that because the sex was amazing. I don't know, Faith. Maybe it's a Slayer thing?"

"Could be. Couldn't tell ya."

"But you're with Buffy. Isn't it more...intense than anyone else you've ever been with?"

"Figure it's more intense cos it's _Buffy_, not cos of the whole Slayer thing."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Oh. But you know the Slayer thing could factor into it. I mean hell, ya do know what it's like bein' a Slayer and havin' the stamina we got. Hard to find an equal match," Faith chuckled and shook her head when she realized just how that sounded. "Didn't mean it like that, though, cos it's more than just fuckin' all night long with Buffy."

"Believe me, I do get what you're saying. With Satsu it was just...wow and then some. Not that it isn't with Will, but sometimes it's just...not enough. You know?"

"Yeah, I know."

"Is that selfish?"

"Nah," Faith said as she shook her head. "If it ain't doin' it for ya and ya ain't happy, why stick around, right?"

"I really didn't want to hurt her," Kennedy said quietly. Faith noticed the tears had started to fall and Kennedy wasn't doing a thing to stop them. "God, I'm such a screw-up. Maybe Willow was right. Maybe you and I are friends because we're so much alike. Only now you're all..." she paused for a moment and shook her head. "You are all reformed and shit now. You're different now. You're a better person now."

"Ain't that much different now than I used to be, Ken, and ya shoulda just told her it was over before ya went and made Satsu your little fuck toy."

"I need a do-over," Kennedy laughed dryly.

"No do-overs in life, unfortunately. If there was, don't ya think I would've taken up on that about a dozen times or more?" Faith sighed and crushed out her cigarette. She licked over her lips, cringing slightly at the bitter taste the cigarette had left in her mouth. "Look, Ken, you can't take back what you did to her. Cheatin' sucks, yeah, but finding out the one you're with has cheated on ya sucks even more, and ya always turn around and say stuff like 'it just happened' and all that."

"But it—"

"Yeah it _just happened_, I get it. Got all worked up sparring," Faith said and she chuckled softly as she watched Kennedy try to wipe away the tears as they fell. "So, tell me somethin'," she said as she leaned back against the railing, "what are you gonna do now?"

"Well, I can't apologize to Will. She doesn't even want to see me much less listen to anything I have to say right now. And I can't apologize to you and Buffy either."

"Doesn't matter about us, Ken. Buffy is gonna be pissed, yeah I'll give you that much, but let me worry about her, okay?" Faith said and she put her arm loosely around Kennedy's shoulders. "As for Will, don't know what I can tell ya. Give her a couple days to cool off and try to talk to her then. You can stay here and crash on the couch long as ya need to. Buffy ain't gonna like it, but like I said, let me worry about that."

"Thanks."

Faith just shrugged and headed back inside while Kennedy stayed out on the balcony and lit yet another cigarette. She finished her beer and grabbed another out of the fridge, her stomach protesting against her as she cracked it open and downed most of it in one go. She grabbed a few towels and went to the bedroom, where she began trying to clean up the whipped cream from the walls and the floor, shaking her head and laughing to herself at the mess and the very recent memories of just how that happened. She'd barely finished when she turned to find Kennedy standing in the doorway of the bedroom with a smirk on her face.

"Take it your little date with your blonde Slayer and a can of whipped cream didn't go over too well, huh?"

"Shut up," Faith chuckled as she tossed the towels into the linen box by the door. "Got a little outta hand."

"You realize Will was going on and on the other night about how fucking perfect you two are for each other?" Kennedy asked as she followed her to the couch and they both sat down. "Kinda makes me a little jealous that you two got something so great together."

"Didn't start out so great, at least not way back in the beginning."

Kennedy shrugged, propping her feet up on the coffee table and closing her eyes as she leaned her head back. "But its great now, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Faith replied with a smile as she thought about just how great things really were. She forced out the thoughts that now she had something great, something bad was going to happen. "It is, but it ain't like I'm gonna run out and buy her an engagement ring and ask her to marry me or anything. Still kinda new to this whole relationship thing."

"You can't be doing too badly if you and Buffy are still together though, right?"

Faith nodded and grabbed the remote for the TV and flipped it on. "Sometimes I don't even know why she's stuck with me this long. Sometimes I don't feel like I'm good enough for her either."

"Maybe the sex is too great for her to give you up just yet?"

"Great, amazing, mind-blowing sex is just an added bonus."

Kennedy laughed for a moment then broke down into tears. Faith wasn't sure how to comfort her or if she even needed to be comforted. She'd screwed up. Big time. And she knew it too. The only thing Faith knew what to do was sit there and listen and if she was done talking, she'd sit there and offer up a shoulder to cry on whether Kennedy took her up on that offer or not. She wasn't even sure if Buffy would be back that night and the way she figured it, she'd probably spend the night at the house trying to comfort Willow and help her nurse her broken heart, ease the pain in ways only a best friend could.

She stayed there with Kennedy until the tears stopped and she curled up on the far end of the couch and fell asleep. Faith flipped off the TV and all the lights but the one over the stove and made her way to the bedroom. Her heart felt a little heavy and she felt out of place. She knew why too. She was so used to having Buffy around every night that when she wasn't there she felt almost empty inside. If these sharp pangs in her heart from missing Buffy were the downside to love, then she'd take it, because the upside was just off the charts. She laid down on the bed and inhaled deeply, smelling nothing but Buffy all over the sheets and the pillow.

She was a complete mess, just another fool in love, and she absolutely _loved_ that feeling. It made her feel so much more than she'd ever thought was possible to feel. It made her feel happier than she'd ever felt in her life. It made her feel like she was worth something in life instead of just another worthless, psychotic murderer. It made her wonder how she ever was worthy of knowing this kind of love with Buffy. All the wrong she'd done in life—especially to Buffy and her friends—hadn't been completely forgotten, but she had been forgiven. If she hadn't, she wouldn't be there in Cleveland with them, fighting the good fight—whatever fight would come next, she didn't know yet. Evil was still looming, but it was as if it'd taken a vacation. For now.

She wasn't sure how long she'd been lying there in bed when she felt Buffy come back inside the apartment. She couldn't wipe the smile off of her face as Buffy quietly came into the bedroom and locked the door behind her. Even in the darkness she could see that Buffy was clearly upset and exhausted, so she said not a word to her as she watched her strip out of her clothes slowly. She held out her arms a little as Buffy crawled onto the bed and they shared a short, sweet kiss as Buffy laid there in her arms and let out a weary sigh. She could feel the heaviness Buffy felt, how it tugged at her very soul, and she ran her hand soothingly down her back as Buffy shifted, trying to get a little more comfortable before she laid her head down on Faith's shoulder and let out yet another weary sigh.

Whether it was evil or drama within their little family, it never seemed to stop. Always something else about to happen or happening and there was never a damn thing Faith or anyone else could do to stop it. She knew the drama was just beginning between Willow and Kennedy and she couldn't help but feel a little afraid of what would end up happening if the two of them couldn't work things out. She tried to take her mind off of things, eventually falling asleep with Buffy securely held in her arms.


	35. Chapter 35

Faith sat on the bottom steps in the basement chewing on her nails as she tried to listen to the conversation being held upstairs in the kitchen. Kennedy had stayed back at the apartment, Buffy ordering her not to come back to the house until Willow had enough time to cool off and get over what happened. The walk from the apartment to the house had been quiet for the most part. Buffy told Faith that Willow had been a complete mess when she saw her but at least her magic was under control for the time being. And if Buffy hadn't been wearing that flowing white skirt, she might have been able to keep her hands to herself. Instead she was sent down to the basement while Buffy, Giles, and Willow talked in the kitchen.

Satsu and Carmen were sparring, trading jabs and kicks with the ease and grace only a Slayer could display. She'd grown tired of just watching them after about ten minutes, but she'd also turned down their requests for her to join them. She wasn't stupid enough to get into it with them—not with the amount of strength she possessed now—even if her body was itching for a little bit of action. She knew she had to wait for Buffy before she could work out all her pent up energy. She did keep looking over at Satsu, pushing down the urge to say something to her about what she and Kennedy had done. Kennedy was her friend, Willow too, and she liked to think that there was a possibility that Satsu could be also. Eventually. But it wasn't her place to get in the middle of something like this.

She realized she couldn't really hear what they were saying upstairs any longer and she groaned softly as she leaned back on the steps, looking back over at Satsu and Carmen as they continued to spar. She could feel them, not quite the way she felt Buffy, but there was a slight buzz there. It was different from what Kennedy felt like too and she was starting to realize that every Slayer had a different feel to them, to their essence. The warm tingling feeling that had just started in the pit of her stomach told her Buffy was nearer now and she turned to look up the stairs as Buffy opened the door and motioned for her to come up.

"So, what's the sitch?" Faith asked as she joined the others at the kitchen table, sitting next to Buffy and trying to keep her hands from falling onto Buffy's thigh. It was only then she noticed Perry standing by the coffeemaker talking quietly to Jackie.

"We've been able to have the ownership of the building transferred over to myself," Giles said as he smiled over at her, clearly proud things were going as planned so far. "We are going to get started right away. A couple friends of mine, Watchers in fact, are at this moment attempting to gather the first group of girls to be brought here. They shall all be arriving within a week, but I do believe that should give us all enough time to prepare."

"A week? Shit, you really work fast," Faith muttered under her breath softly.

"Getting this project 'off the ground', as it were, without delay will make the new girls' training progress much more smoothly and easily in the long run. Now Faith, I was discussing with Buffy the role the two of you will be playing. As we've discussed, you will be training the girls daily, but I won't expect either of you to devote an inordinate amount of your time to these sessions. A couple hours a day is all I am asking for."

"Sure we could manage that, huh, B?"

"Of course," Buffy nodded with a smile as she turned slightly in her chair to face her more fully. She glanced over at Willow for a moment before leaning into Faith a little more, lowering her voice, "I've got things sorted out with Kennedy. The apartment next to yours—_ours_—is empty. Perry sent Marshall over to give Kennedy the keys. Willow and Giles are staying here at the house; Xander is going to take the apartment across the hall and Dawn will be in the one next to his."

"What about the others?"

"Andrew is coming, but we're placing him in one of the apartments on the main floor. We're going to make him act like a..." Buffy trailed off as she tried to stop the giggles that escaped past her lips. "He's going to act like a secretary or something. I don't know. Giles, what did you say you were going to have him do again?"

"Andrew is going to keep track of who is coming and going at all times. I wouldn't go so far as to label him security, however—one tends to shudder at the mere thought—and his duties will actually more closely approximate those of receptionist and doorman for the building."

Faith smirked as Buffy just stared at her. "So, what about the rest of the people livin' in that place? Ya gonna kick 'em all out or what?"

"Most of the guys live there, but with their wives and families," Perry said as he and Jackie joined them at the table. "With Sam's money still coming in, we got most of them looking for more suitable housing. Give it a couple of weeks, maybe a couple of months at most, and the entire building will be cleared out of those who aren't either blessed with the power of being a Slayer or training to be Watchers."

"And Jackie?" Faith asked as she looked over at her mother who had purposely sat down next to Giles. "You stayin' here at the house?"

"No, I'll be in one of the apartments on the main floor, hopefully not anywhere near Andrew. There is something seriously wrong with that boy," Jackie replied with a teasing smile curling over her lips. "Then again I am sure you all realized that by now."

They all laughed. All of them but Willow, and Faith could see how heartbroken she was. She could even feel it, just faintly, and it broke her own heart to see Willow falling apart despite trying to look as if she was holding herself together. She just looked over at Willow and flashed a smile in sympathy, which Willow returned with a forced smile before she got up and walked out of the kitchen. Buffy went to go after her, but Faith's strong hand on her shoulder kept her right where she was.

"I should go make sure she's okay," Buffy said, her voice almost strained with emotion. "I really should go make sure she's okay. I have to."

"She needs to be alone right now," Faith whispered softly. "I know you might not think that's what she needs, but believe me when I tell ya that her being alone for a few minutes is what she needs."

"How the hell do you know that, Faith?"

"Cos I can _feel_ it, B."

Buffy let out a soft sigh. "I just don't want her to do anything stupid. She's not too good at dealing with having her heart crushed like this."

"She'll be okay, Buffy," Giles said as he motioned to Perry to pass the pot of tea that sat at the far end of the table. "It's quite rough going through the end of a relationship, but she's a lot stronger now than she was before. She does need time and she does need to be alone."

Buffy sighed out again, frowning as she looked over at the kitchen doorway. Faith kept her eyes on Buffy, watching her as she struggled to stay right where she was, to listen to them and not to what the voices in her head were trying to tell her to do. Faith gently massaged the back of her neck, feeling the tense muscles beneath her fingertips. She barely paid attention to Giles as he spoke of the plans for the training school. Academy. Whatever they were going to call it. Buffy finally joined in on the conversation, voicing her concern about the education of the young Slayers that would need to be undertaken on top of their Slayer training. Giles told her a few of the Watchers that were coming were trained in the profession of teaching as well as training and that all the bases were pretty much covered.

The meeting—the actual meeting—started once Satsu and Carmen had come up from the basement and Amber strolled in with Dawn, Xander, and Andrew. Routes for that night's patrol were laid out, teams were established and times to report back were given. Faith rolled her eyes at the way Giles seemed to take over all control and she waited for Buffy to say something, to _feel_ something other than willingly ready to follow Giles' orders. Willow came back in once Giles had begun to wrap up the meeting and she said she was going on patrol with them even though Kennedy would be there too.

"Will, I don't think you coming out on patrol tonight is a good idea," Buffy said softly as she stood up from the chair and followed Willow out the back door.

Faith strained to hear their conversation, but couldn't as they walked further away from the house and she let out a loud groan as she stretched out and grabbed one of the cookies that were on the plate in front of her.

"I should go let Ken know what's the what," she said as she stood up and looked over at Dawn. "Tell Buffy I'll be back in an hour."

"Sure," Dawn nodded and she followed Faith to the front door. "Can I ask you something before you go, Faith?"

"What's up?"

"How are you and Buffy? I mean, you two haven't even talked about what it was like _there_ for you and you haven't even talked about being all super Slayers now either. Everything is okay, right?"

"Everything is fine," Faith said with an easy smile and she reached out and pulled Dawn gently in for a hug. "We're both fine, Dawnie."

"Are you...happy?"

"What makes ya think I'm not?"

"I want to hear you say it," she said softly as she backed away from Faith. "I don't ever get to see you two anymore and Buffy never talks to me about anything. She barely says two words to me when I do see her."

"It's probably nothing to worry your pretty little head over," Faith said as she reached out to muss her hair a little. Dawn rolled her eyes in annoyance but she couldn't keep the smile from crawling across her lips. "And I am happy, Dawnie."

"Gee, I wonder why that is," she laughed as she gave Faith a little wink. "You're shacking up with my sister and even though I should be all 'gross' I'm not. I've never seen her like this and no," Dawn said, stopping to laugh for a moment at Faith's bemused look on her face, "it isn't because of the whole 'Buffy is gay now' thing. It's the whole 'Buffy is actually happy for once in her life' thing and you are the reason she is so happy right now."

"You're afraid something is going to happen, aren't you?"

"No, why would you—"

"Just cos Will and Ken are havin' problems right now doesn't mean me and Buffy are gonna go down that same path."

"I know," Dawn sighed and she followed Faith out the front door. "I just...everything has been crazy in the last couple of months and things seem to change overnight. I just want everything to be normal for once. That's way too much to ask for, isn't it?"

"Way our lives always end up going? Yeah, it's a little too much to ask for. Just live in the now, embrace what ya got and don't think o' tomorrow."

Dawn was speechless for a moment and Faith just shrugged as she headed down towards the street. She followed Faith to the apartment, chattering on and on about the plans for the Slayers Giles was bringing into the city and the plans for her to finish her last year of high school and go on to train as a Watcher. Faith wanted to ask her why she wanted to be a Watcher, but she already knew the answer to that. Dawn wanted to be a part of it all and she wanted to do something worthwhile with them instead of just being another body when it came to researching. Faith had almost told her to go back home when they first set out, but soon realized she actually liked spending some time with Dawn, just the two of them. Dawn had really let her guard down around her and she was treating her as if she was her other sister, as weird as it was for her.

Kennedy was still sleeping on the couch when they got to the apartment. Faith slammed the door behind her and it caused Kennedy to jump off the couch and leap into a fighting position with her eyes half closed. Dawn was giggling as Faith smirked at the struggling Slayer before walking into the bedroom and pulling the small weapons chest Xander had made for her out of the closet. She heard as Dawn quit laughing and began to bring Kennedy up to speed on all that had happened during the meeting. Faith grabbed a few weapons for herself, stuffing them in the duffel bag that sat on the floor by the closet door.

"How's Willow?" Kennedy asked as she stood in the doorway of the bedroom. "She isn't going to like, turn me into a rat or some other kind of animal when she sees me, is she?"

"Not that I know of," Faith replied as she zipped the bag shut. "Don't think ya gotta worry about it. You're comin' with Buffy and me tonight. Doubt you'll even see her. Did Marshall stop by today by any chance?"

"Yeah, about an hour ago. Gave me the keys to the apartment next door."

"And you decided just to go back to sleep on my couch?"

"There isn't any furniture in there," she shrugged. "What, do you expect me to sleep on the floor?"

"Well, you are technically in the dog house, aren't ya? Dogs sleep on the floor."

Kennedy laughed and held out a piece of paper. "Angel called. Wants to talk to you. Gave me a number for you to call when you get the chance. Told me to tell you it's important you get in touch with him as soon as you can."

"He didn't say why?"

"He's got more information about what happened with Julie and her family. He didn't say what and when I asked him to tell me, he told me it was none of my concern. What a way to make me not feel like I'm a part of this, huh?"

"He probably wanted to tell me first. Don't take it personally and never try to understand why Angel is the way he is. _I_ don't even understand it most of the time," Faith chuckled softly as she walked out of the bedroom and tossed the bag of weapons down on the floor near the couch. "Dawnie, help yourself to whatever in the fridge and no, you can't have a beer. Buffy would kill me if she knew I let ya have one."

"Ugh, whatever," Dawn replied as she flopped down onto the couch. "Are we hanging out here for awhile?"

"Just gotta make a phone call then we're headin' back to the house."

"Hey Dawn, want to go check out my apartment?" Kennedy asked when Faith picked up the phone and hesitated at dialling the number Kennedy had written down for her.

Faith just mouthed a 'thank you' at Kennedy as Dawn headed straight for the door. As soon as they had walked out, she dialled the number and waited for it to ring. She paced the floor as the line rang nearly half a dozen times before Angel finally answered.

"Hey," Faith drawled into the phone as she flopped down onto the couch and propped her feet up on the coffee table. "What's up, Angel?"

"Faith," he replied and she heard some shuffling in the background before all she heard was complete silence. "I'm glad you called. There are a few things I need to talk to you about."

"Gonna be awhile? Kinda gotta get back to the house before patrol."

"It's about what happened before, with Julie and the barrier spell and the Hellmouth," he said quietly and she just let out a soft sigh as she cracked her neck and waited for him to continue. "Do you remember how I told you things were going to be really bad?"

"And they kinda turned out to only be sorta bad?" Faith asked, chuckling when she could just picture him rolling his eyes at that. "Yeah, I remember."

"That was just an appetizer of sorts. Julie and her family—"

"Were nothing but a joke, right? Cos seriously," she laughed as she shook her head, "after all was said and done, worst that happened was the Hellmouth was opened and me and B got sucked into that portal. It wasn't even half-bad in that place either, Angel. And look at the plus side of things here for a minute. We came back stronger than ever. Can't be all bad, right?"

"No, can't be all bad at all. You don't know what is coming, Faith. None of us do. There are changes that are about to happen and not everyone is going to be able to deal with them."

"What kinda changes?"

"Death."

"Great," she said, rolling her eyes as she shifted on the couch to get more comfortable. "Who is dyin' this time?"

"Don't know, but I'd advise you to be very careful, Faith. You may possess power that all but mimics immortality, but it does not mean you cannot be killed."

"So, ya think I'm gonna end up gettin' myself killed?"

"I didn't say that. I just said to be very careful. I can't worry about you?"

"Thinkin' you're more worried about Buffy than me."

"Faith," Angel said, the irritation in his voice making her cringe, "the seers are never wrong and when they speak of death, it makes me worry about all of you, not just Buffy. More and more is coming to light with Julie and her family. They were well connected with many demons and vampires in and around Cleveland and Julie's little vampire army only followed her since they were promised and guaranteed safety. They aren't very happy with the way things turned out, but it isn't like they are mourning her loss either."

"So, we gotta watch out for vamps en masse now?"

"You always need to be fully aware of things around you and I know that it is not possible to know absolutely everything, but—"

"That's when you come in handy, right?" Faith asked, cutting him off yet again. "Look, Angel. I appreciate ya lookin' out for me—for all of us—but we can handle things here on our own. Ain't like we're doin' it all ourselves. We got Perry, Marshall, and the rest of those guys and besides, Giles is bringin' in probably like a hundred Slayers to train 'em here. We're gonna be all right."

"The seers have told me that not all is as it appears to be and that the changes that are about to transpire is going to forever change everything, Faith. I want you to promise me something."

"What?"

"Just...whatever happens don't let it change _you_."

"You mean, 'don't let it change me back into a raving psychotic murderous bitch', right?"

"Just be safe, be aware, and keep your head in the game at all times."

"Always a game," she muttered under her breath. "That's what life is, ain't it? One big fuckin' game and we're all just playing in it. Win some. Lose some. Whatever, right?"

"What you went through with Julie and her family was a test. Testing you as a person and as a Slayer. What you are going through with Buffy—"

"Wait, what does what I've got with Buffy got anything to do with...well, anything?"

"It has everything to do with everything, Faith. Don't you see? The magic used to create the barrier spell will never be fully understood, nor will everything that has happened because of it. Your relationship with Buffy is mostly because of this spell. Once you realize that, then you'll truly be able to see the bigger picture."

"Oh I see the bigger picture," she said angrily as she dropped her feet to the floor heavily. "You're sitting there telling me that my relationship with Buffy ain't even fucking supposed to be what it is. Gotta tell ya, Angel, you have no fucking idea what our relationship is and I really don't think you ever will. Jealousy doesn't look good on you, man. Doesn't _sound_ good either. Shit, Angel. I'm in fucking _love_ with Buffy, okay. I ain't never been in love before and I—"

"I know," he said softly before she could continue with her rant. "Do you know why I was able to come there when the barrier was supposed to keep my kind out? Somehow, it sensed that I needed to be there when I came there. It sensed it, Faith. It sensed my soul too, which is why I was able to come there."

"Like it had a mind of its own? What the hell? I thought it was a barrier? Magic? Magic can't think, can it?"

"Apparently it can."

"How come you're telling me this now? Does Giles even know?"

"We've discussed it, yes. There is just so much we didn't know even when we thought we had it all figured out. When I came there and left the first time, before I even came there, I knew that there was a chance I wouldn't be able to enter the city where the barrier ended. The seers told me I'd be able to come, that I _needed_ to come."

"And why did you need to come here in the first place?" Faith asked, wanting to really ask him what good he's done up to that point, but kept her mouth shut. "This is a whole big mess, Angel, and I don't understand a goddamn thing that's going on right now."

"Just be careful."

She opened her mouth to speak but stopped when she heard the click as Angel hung up the phone. She left the apartment and knocked on the door next to hers, collecting Kennedy and Dawn so they could make their way back to the house, explaining along the way vaguely what Angel had told her. She stopped short when they reached the front walkway to the house and she spotted Buffy standing on the front porch waiting for them with Xander. She was taken over by those lusty thoughts of grabbing Buffy, pinning her against the wall and running her hands up her legs, under her skirt, and finding out if she really was going commando or not.

Buffy seemed to know what was going through her mind and she flashed a coy smile as Faith managed to start moving again and walked up the front steps. Faith waited for the others to go inside, but pulled Buffy away from the door before she too could go in. She led her down to the far end of the front porch, smirking as she backed Buffy up against the wall.

"Ya really planning to go slayin' wearing this?" Faith asked softly as her hands smoothed over the hem of her skirt and teasing the skin under it with the tips of her fingers.

"No, I was...going to change..." Buffy trailed off, her eyes sliding shut as Faith ran her hands up her inner thighs, the soft material of the skirt very slowly sliding up with her hands. Faith licked over her lips, watching Buffy as her fingers neared her destination at the apex of her thighs. "Faith!"

"Hmm?" Faith grinned as she found she'd been right about Buffy going commando. In the instant her fingers slipped through her folds, she felt a flood of wetness pour out and it nearly made her come in her pants. "Fuck, B. Ya realize how fuckin' sexy this is? Feelin' ya get so fuckin' wet for me with just a touch."

"Faith, we need to go...inside," Buffy gasped as Faith pulled her left leg up and wrapped it around her waist as she plunged two fingers deep inside Buffy. "Faith, not _that_ inside."

They both laughed softly as Faith stilled her fingers, really not wanting to pull them out of the soft, warm, wet confines of Buffy's channel just yet. She knew they didn't have time for this and that any second now one of the others would come out to find them, but she didn't care. And from the way Buffy rolled her hips harder into her hand, she knew Buffy didn't care either.

"Y'know," Faith whispered as she leaned in to her ear, her lips just grazing her cheek as she did, "I think you should wear skirts like this a helluva lot more. Easier access."

"You really never think about anything else, do you?"

"Nope," Faith chuckled softly as she pulled back from her and stared into her eyes in the darkening light. "I know you don't either."

"We really need to go inside, Faith. Sun has almost set. Patrol..." she groaned as Faith slid her fingers out of her with a slow, wet plop.

A silent 'later' was uttered from Buffy's lips as she stepped past Faith and headed inside. Faith just brought her fingers to her lips, licking off Buffy's secretions slowly, savouring every last drop, before she went inside to join the others for a quick meeting before patrol. She stood in the doorway of the living room and listened to Buffy as she told Satsu and the others to meet up with them in two hours unless they were otherwise preoccupied with slaying. Buffy left to go change into clothes more suitable for slaying and Faith went outside with Kennedy, declining her offer of a cigarette.

"Will won't even look at me," Kennedy said softly as she shook her head. "I don't blame her though."

"Give her some time. She's hurt right now, Ken."

"Yeah."

"She won't even go near Satsu either," Faith pointed out the obvious. "Think of how it'd be if the situation was reversed and don't fuckin' forget your little jealous tirade when Julie was around and Will was spending a lot of time with her."

"Haven't forgotten," Kennedy sighed before she took a long drag of her cigarette and exhaled, the white smoke curling up to the sky slowly in the breezeless night. "You and Buffy sure can't keep your hands off each other, can you?"

"Hell no," Faith chuckled as she leaned against the railing on her elbows. "Can't blame me though. She just fuckin' asks for it sometimes."

"I think it's sweet," Kennedy smirked as she nudged Faith with her shoulder. "Young, new love is always exciting at first. Then one thing happens and it's all downhill from there."

"Ain't nothin' gonna change how it is now."

"Things always change, Faith. Whether you want them to or not."

"Ain't gonna let 'em change," Faith said firmly, but the tone of her voice gave away her fears that she did think Kennedy was right. Just a little. "Right now, I ain't worried about things with me and Buffy. It's going great, better than I thought it'd be and it just keeps getting better."

"You mean the sex just keeps getting better?" Kennedy laughed and Faith could only wiggle her eyebrows as she grinned. "You're just lucky we all knew what you were doing out here a few minutes ago and left you two alone. I think it would have traumatized Dawnie for life if she walked out to find you with your hand up Buffy's skirt."

"Not my fault I can't resist," Faith said and they both shared a laugh as the others came out of the house, all of them talking quietly as they began to split off into the designated groups. "Ready to motor, B?"

Buffy nodded as she watched the others head down towards the street. Willow was with Xander and Carmen. Satsu and Amber were going off on their own for a couple of hours, and Kennedy was with Buffy and Faith. Giles and Andrew were staying behind, planning to meet up with everyone else in a few short hours with Perry and Marshall. They headed straight for the neighbourhood around the Hellmouth, nobody saying much as they walked down the quiet, nearly empty streets. Buffy stayed close to Faith while Kennedy trailed a few steps behind them, chain-smoking and muttering to herself every once in a while about how she was more than capable to be out on her own instead of with them.

Aside from running into a few random vampires around the neighbourhood, all of whom were dusted without much of a fight, patrol was rather uneventful and the three of them spent more time talking than slaying. After two hours, they headed for the cemetery closest to the house to meet up with the others. Faith kept hoping for the night to continue to be slow. Slow meant an early night and she really couldn't take her mind off of just what she wanted to do with the rest of her night either. Every little look shared between her and Buffy got her heart racing and her body aching for her touch.

Glenview cemetery, by far the largest cemetery within walking distance of the house, was just buzzing with activity when they walked through the main gates. Faith could feel the vampires there in the cemetery and from the way her body was picking up on them, she knew there had to be two dozen or more there just waiting for them. Buffy motioned for them to split up and Faith pulled her in for a rather quick kiss before she grabbed a stake out of the duffel bag and headed off towards the furthest corner of the cemetery alone. She walked briskly up to a small group of vampires standing around one of the crypts, counting about four of them and sensing three others nearby and out of sight.

She went charging into the group of vampires, throwing a series of well-timed kicks and punches, working them over a little before plunging the stake through their hearts. With the strength and power she now had, she felt invincible, untouchable. She even thought she saw a hint of fear flash before the vampire she was now facing, staring down. She breathed heavily as she twirled her stake in her hand, grinning at the vampire who was now backing away from her, ready to run to save his undead life. She let him run—and as soon as his back was turned she flung the stake towards him, grinning almost maniacally as she watched him dust before he took another step.

Her ears picked up the sounds of a fight not too far off and she picked up her stake from the ground and took off running. Willow was cornered by three vampires, Xander and Carmen fighting off five others. Buffy and the others were nowhere near to help and even with her strength, Faith knew she wouldn't be able to take them all on by herself. She ran over towards Willow, pulling two of the three vampires away from her just long enough for Willow to stake the one closest to her.

"Go help them!" Willow said as she pointed to Xander, a hairsbreadth away from being bit by the tall, dark-haired vampire that had him pinned to the ground. "Now, Faith!"

Faith wasted not a second more, pulling the vampire off of Xander and helping him to his feet as two others charged towards her, trying to take her out. She cast a quick glance over at Carmen who seemed to be having a bit of trouble with the two vampires that she was fighting, but Faith didn't have time to help her or the others as four more vampires came out of the shadows and surrounded her.

"Fuck," she groaned under her breath, wishing she had more than just a stake to fight with. She'd left the duffel bag full of weapons on the bench near the front of the cemetery and now, because of her carelessness, she found herself in a situation she wouldn't easily get out of.

"Faith!" Xander called out as he was thrown to the ground. "Get...Buffy and the others..."

She managed to break free of the vampires circling her, but she barely got two steps away before they surrounded her again. She wasn't going to panic. They couldn't hurt her. She was only worried about Xander and Willow being caught in a fight this big. They were good fighters, she couldn't deny that having seen both of them in action a couple of times over the last several days, but they were not Slayers and one wrong move and the vampire they were facing would get a free meal. She took a steady and deep breath, trying to calm herself, find her center, and once she did she unleashed a flurry of punches and kicks, staking each vampire she got close enough to only to find herself surrounded by twice as many by the time she was nearly through.

Faith leapt on top of the closest mausoleum and looked around quickly, trying to figure out just how many there were. It hit her then that this was Julie's army since there were never that many vampires in one area unless it was a larger nest of them. She spotted Buffy and the others on the other end of the cemetery, facing their own large group of vampires. She leapt off the mausoleum and jumped back into the fight, barely breaking a sweat as she dusted vampire after vampire. She lost count after seventeen of them and yet they kept on coming.

"Shit, there's too many!" Faith said as she struggled to fight them off while she also tried to protect Xander and Willow. "Will, can't you just cast a spell to get them to back off for a sec here?"

"I tried..." Willow said, her voice shaking with fear as she gripped onto the axe she wielded. "It's not working!"

"Get the hell outta here then!" Faith yelled at her and Xander.

She grabbed onto Willow's axe, swinging it around and decapitating five vampires' heads with one strike. She ran through the dust as it fell almost in slow motion, unleashing her inner Slayer and a bit of the psychotic murderous bitch she still felt way deep inside of her. Every blow felt good as she struck out against the vampires that just seemed to be crawling out of the shadows from every angle. It felt powerful every time each one turned to dust. And just like before, right when she thought she had them all, more showed up, ready to fight.

Xander had managed to get out of there before the fifth wave of angry vampires surrounded them, but Willow was cornered once again, too frightened now to try to run. It took only that split second she turned to look over at Willow for one of the vampires to kick the axe from her hands. The vampire dust flying in the air burned her eyes as she struggled to gain the upper hand once again. Her heart nearly stopped when she heard the blood-curling scream coming from Willow as one of the vampires used the axe that had gone flying from Faith's hands to attack Willow.

Faith could hardly breathe as she made her way over to Willow, startled as a wave of arrows began to shoot towards the vampires. She looked back and saw Perry, Marshall and a half a dozen of the other guys lined up with their crossbows, trying to take out every vampire they could.

"Willow," Faith said as she knelt on the ground next to her, her breath catching in her throat when she saw how much blood was pouring from the gash across her stomach. "Will, you still with me?"

"Faith..." Willow coughed, blood trickling out of the corner of her mouth as she laid there almost motionless, barely able to turn her head to the side to look up at Faith. "Get to the others...don't worry...about me..."

"Fuck," Faith groaned as she placed her hands over the wound to try to stop the bleeding. "Ain't leavin' ya here alone, Will."

"I...can't..." Willow breathed out, her breath shorter and coming in small, shallow gasps as the blood poured out of the wound and over Faith's hands.

"Willow!" Kennedy yelled out as she ran across the cemetery, dodging the headstones and the arrows that flew through the air and the vampires that were left. "Oh god, Will..."

"We gotta get her outta here," Faith said quickly as she looked back to find an opening in the massive group of vampires that still surrounded them. She looked down at Willow, literally feeling the last breath as the life slipped out of her. "Oh fuck."

"Will? Willow!" Kennedy shook her a few times, trying to get her to open her eyes, to breathe. She pulled Willow into her lap as Faith stood up slowly, her hands shaking as she looked down at the blood that covered them.

Everything went foggy and felt as if time had literally came to a stop. Faith blinked away the tears as she watched the others fight the last of the vampires and she knew there was more waiting for their moment to sweep in and take them all out, or turn to dust trying. Buffy made her way over to them, collapsing on the ground next to Kennedy as she held on to Willow, saying her name over and over again through the torrent of tears that fell.

"What the hell happened?" Buffy asked as she got up from the ground and walked over to Faith. "What the hell happened, Faith?"

"Couple of 'em got lucky. I was too late. Couldn't..." she trailed off, her voice being choked by the tears that now fell from her eyes. "God, I was too late. There was just too many. It's all my fault."

"It's not," Buffy whispered, her own tears falling as the others finally caught up to them.

It was as if the world slipped away as they surrounded their fallen friend, emotions running high, anger flooding in. The only thing Faith could think of was that Angel had been right. Yet again.


	36. Chapter 36

A/N: Is it bad that I just realized the paragraph breaks I use actually don't show up on here? Yeah, it's bad... :/

* * *

Nothing felt real. Nothing felt right. Nothing would ever be the same ever again.

Kennedy had been the one to carry Willow to the hospital despite the fact they all knew it was far too late. Faith stayed with the others in the bland waiting room of the small hospital while Buffy and Xander stayed with Willow's body and talked to the attending doctor, forging lies of her being attacked by a mugger wielding an axe. Dawn was sitting off in the corner, eyes red and puffy, her tears still falling while she did nothing to stop them. The others were spread throughout the small waiting room, and Kennedy was standing by the window with bars on it, staring blankly outside as if she was waiting for the sun to rise and wake them from this nightmare.

Faith was the first to see Giles as he ran inside the emergency room doors, looking around frantically. She waved over at him to catch his attention, and as he made his way over towards them Faith could see the barely-restrained tears brimming in his eyes. Before he could utter a word, Faith just pointed down the corridor to where Buffy and Xander were with Willow's body and the doctor. Giles tried to get to the room but two nurses stopped him, explaining to him that he needed to wait with the others.

"I'm goin' for a smoke," Faith said to Kennedy softly as she tentatively approached her from behind. "You comin', Ken?"

"Yeah," she replied softly, her voice now void of any emotion. "Could use one right now."

"I thought you quit?" Dawn asked as they walked past her. "Didn't you quit, Faith?"

"Doesn't matter right now, Dawnie," she replied, feeling the tears forming in her eyes and the knot in the pit of her stomach moving up to catch in her throat. "If Buffy comes back before we do..."

"I'll let her know you two stepped out for some air or whatever," Dawn replied, shrugging as she turned to look up at the TV in the opposite corner.

Faith led the way outside and down to the side of the hospital where a tall retaining wall stood. She leaned against the bricks and took the offered cigarette from Kennedy, waiting for her to light hers first before she grabbed the lighter off of her and lit the one dangling from her dry lips. It wasn't very long before Satsu stepped out with them, leaning against the wall next to Faith while Kennedy opted on pacing the sidewalk in front of them. Kennedy stopped pacing just long enough to offer Satsu a cigarette before continuing, back and forth, forcing down her tears, her pain, her guilt, just as Faith knew they all were.

None of them said a single word to each other and none of them even looked at each other, at least not directly. Faith just leaned against the wall and stared up at the sky, just barely able to make out the stars under the glow of the city lights. Faith took one last drag of her cigarette before crushing it out with the toe of her boot. She headed back inside and found Xander standing in front of the vending machine in the waiting room and staring blankly at the contents inside while he held a dollar bill in his hand, unsure of what to get, what to do.

"Chocolate always helps," Faith said quietly as she stood next to him, "or so I hear."

"Can't believe she's..."

"I know," she sighed as she pulled him into a hug, knowing how awkward it would have felt if they were in any different situation. "Where's Buffy?"

"With Giles trying to deal with the police. Doctor called them. Probably should've used a better cover story, huh?" He asked, laughing dryly as he shoved the dollar bill into the front pocket of his jeans.

She wished she knew what to say, how to comfort him. He'd lost his lifelong best friend and she had no idea how hard that must be for him to deal with. Especially so soon after Anya's death too. This was why she used to always think it was better not to have friends or family. Keep them away from the death that seemed to follow every Slayer and those around them. But she knew better now and she knew that no matter what _did_ happen, however many deaths there were among them, they needed each other. A support system of sorts even if she had no idea how to help them deal much less deal with it herself. It wouldn't be so hard for her. She had never been close friends with Willow, but it didn't mean her death wasn't affecting her in ways she still didn't realize.

Faith looked over at the corridor as she heard Buffy's voice ever so faintly. She had the look of calm written all over her, but the storm in her eyes told Faith it was nothing but a struggle for her to keep it together. To deal. She walked right over to Faith and wrapped her arms around her tightly for a moment before she pulled Xander in for a small group hug. They stood like that until Giles came out and told them they'd all be heading back to the house together. Buffy pulled back and she and Xander talked quietly about who would be the one to try to get in touch with Willow's family to let them know the bad news.

"I'll call them as soon as we get to the house," Xander said quietly as they all made their way out the emergency room doors and into the night. "She left the number of her aunt's place. They should still be staying there since they can't exactly go home to good ole Sunnydale."

"Okay," Buffy nodded as she grabbed onto Faith's hand and intertwined their fingers. "Are we going back to the house or are we going to go back to the apartment?"

"Wherever ya wanna go, B."

"We should...go back to the house. Be with everyone," she said quietly as Dawn walked up on the other side of her and linked her arm with her sister's. "We should stay there tonight."

"Yeah," Faith nodded, giving her hand a little squeeze, which only resulted in Buffy holding tighter.

They all piled into the van—a tight squeeze, but they all managed to fit once Faith pulled Buffy so she sat in her lap instead of in the seat next to her. Faith just wrapped her arms loosely around Buffy, laying a gentle kiss to the back of her neck as Xander drove the van out of the emergency room parking lot. She could feel the pain Buffy felt, the loss, the emptiness inside that came from losing her best friend. It shot through Faith like fire with every breath they both took. She'd never before heard everyone be so quiet as they were on the short ride home—a ride that felt much longer than it actually was.

Andrew and Jackie were waiting for them all in the living room when they finally got back to the house and piled out of the van slowly. Dawn went straight up to her room, Satsu and the other two Slayers went up to their room as well shortly after. Xander went straight into the kitchen to find the number to get in touch with Willow's parents, mumbling under his breath how it was going to be one of the hardest things he'd ever have to do. Faith wanted to go up to Buffy's old room, get some sleep, but Buffy just shook her head no and pulled her down on the couch next to her and asked her to hold her for a little while. Andrew was asking questions—too many questions—and Faith was the only one besides Kennedy that could tell him exactly what had happened.

After an hour, Faith got up and made her way to the kitchen where Jackie was getting a pot of tea ready. She offered some help, but Jackie told her she didn't need any help and piled a few cups and the pot on a tray and carried it out to the living room. Faith stayed there in the kitchen and grabbed an apple out of the fruit bowl on the counter and just stood there staring at it after each bite. She felt like she was trapped in some kind of horrible nightmare world and she kept waiting for herself to wake up. She knew everyone else was feeling that way too and that it was no nightmare, it was really happening. Willow was really dead and gone and there was nothing any of them could do about it.

She'd never dealt with death like this, but she knew the others had. With Buffy's mother, with Buffy, with Tara. She chucked the apple core in the garbage and joined the others in the living room once again. Faith was trying so hard not to feel completely guilty over Willow's death even though she still felt as if it was her fault since it had been her axe the vampire had gotten his hands on. She knew it wasn't her fault as in Willow dying by her hands, but she still felt that string of guilt she knew it would be absolutely impossible to shake.

"Willow's parents are devastated by the news," Giles said as he hung up the phone. Though Xander had made the initial call, he'd quickly been overcome with emotion and Giles had been forced to take over the conversation. "They want to bury her back in California. I shall make the necessary arrangements in the morning. We should all be able to fly out there no later than Tuesday morning."

"How long we going out there for?" Faith asked, hating the silence that hung in the air, feeling as if it were sucking the very oxygen from it.

"A few days—a week at most. I'll need to contact the other Watchers, inform them that the training school we're trying to establish will have to be put on hold for another week," Giles said, sighing as he removed his glasses, looking more tired than Faith ever remembered seeing him.

"Someone needs to stay behind," Andrew said softly.

"Yes, someone does indeed. Satsu, Carmen, and Amber will remain here as will Jackie. Faith?" Giles said as he turned to look at her. "Would you mind staying behind as well?"

"Sure. Whatever you need me to do," she replied with a nod. "You okay with that, B?"

"Yeah," she said softly, choking up a little as she let a few tears fall. "Do what you need to do, right?"

"B, if you want me to come with you I'm sure I—"

"No, just stay. You're probably needed here more than you are there."

"You sure, B?"

Buffy nodded her head and moved to cuddle closer to her while she grabbed Faith's arm and pulled it around her. When Faith began to rub her back gently, the tears she'd been holding back began to overflow and she buried her face in Faith's neck in an attempt to stop them from falling. It was pulling her apart inside seeing Buffy break down like this and it didn't help to see the others looking around as if they were zombies. She stayed down there with her long after everyone else went to bed and she just held onto her, rocking her gently in hopes she'd stop crying just enough to get some sleep.

* * *

When Faith woke the next morning, she found herself sitting awkwardly on the couch with Buffy still in her arms. She listened to see if anyone else was awake, hearing the silence broken only by the birds chirping cheerfully outside. She needed to move, to stretch out her stiff muscles, but she didn't want to wake Buffy and had to wait for her to wake up before she could move. Buffy's eyes were still red and puffy from all the crying she'd done throughout the night, but to Faith she was still as beautiful as ever and she couldn't help but smile when Buffy leaned in for a small, light kiss.

"How ya feelin', B?"

"Tired."

"You want me to go make ya a cup of coffee?"

"No," she sighed as she moved away from Faith and stretched her arms over her head, groaning softly before she curled back up against her side. "I just want to stay right here for a little while longer."

"Sounds good to me, B."

Faith was trying to be there for her in the only way she knew how, holding her and giving whatever comfort Buffy needed from her as best she could. She didn't even mind the fact that it was hot in the house, that her clothes were sticking to her skin and that she desperately needed a shower since she could still feel the vampire dust all over her. She stroked her fingers gently over Buffy's lower back, feeling her entire body reacting to such a simple touch. They both fell back asleep for a little while and woke up to the sounds of Andrew and Jackie cooking up breakfast together in the kitchen. Buffy went upstairs to shower and change her clothes and Faith joined Andrew, Jackie, and the others in the kitchen.

Kennedy was out back sitting at the picnic table alone. Faith got herself a cup of coffee and went out to join her, knowing that she needed a friend now more than ever even if she wanted to be alone. Faith couldn't even imagine how she was feeling now. Sure, she and Willow had broken up, had many fights, and she was dealing with the guilt of cheating on her, but even with all of that, she still loved Willow. Faith knew she did and just thinking about how she'd feel if that happened to Buffy, she knew it'd feel as if her whole world was torn apart. She didn't even want to _think_ about ever losing Buffy like that since she knew that she'd never get over it, over her. She was in way too deep now and her whole heart was almost literally in the palm of Buffy's hands.

"Are you going to California with everyone else?" Kennedy asked, her voice sounding monotone and forced as she kept her eyes on the table in front of her. "I don't know if I should even go."

"Why not? You and Will were together what, six months?"

"Give or take," she shrugged. "Hard to even really say how long it's been. I just don't...feel right about going, you know? Will never even told her family about me."

"I'm not going. Someone needs to stay behind with Andrew and the mini-Slayers," Faith said and it brought out a little laugh from Kennedy. "I'd go just to be there for Buffy, but you know, trying to do the right thing and I think the right thing is for me to stay here."

"I'm going to stay," Kennedy said after a minute of her thinking and still staring down at the table in front of her. "I don't think I could handle it. Don't think Will would even want me to after what just happened. I kind of wish that...I didn't fuck things up and you know, we would have gone out on that double date and everything would have been perfect."

"She'd want you there," Faith said softly as she waited for Kennedy to look over at her. "I think no matter what just happened between you two, she'd still want you there, Ken. She loved you and I know you loved her too. Someone once told me that funerals are like...a way to find closure."

"I still think I should just stay here."

"Do whatever ya need to do, just don't come cryin' to me one night cos ya regret not goin', alright?" Faith asked, offering a smile when Kennedy finally did look up at her. "Andy and Jackie are inside making breakfast. You hungry?"

"No."

"Gotta eat sometime."

"Whatever," Kennedy sighed, crushing out her nearly-forgotten cigarette before taking a fresh one from the pack and lighting it. "I feel like everything that's happened in the last couple of days has been straight out of a nightmare. Feels like any minute now I'll wake up and everything will be okay again."

Faith nodded, knowing if she said anything more it'd be too much and not the right thing to say at a time like this. She looked back up at the house when she heard the door open and she watched as Buffy walked over to where she sat slowly, trying not to spill her coffee as she walked across the grass. As soon as Buffy sat down next to Faith and gave her a soft kiss, Kennedy was up and walking towards the house, mumbling under her breath about the two of them being attached at the hips, the lips, and the fingertips.

"Breakfast ready?" Faith asked, feeling the faintest of smiles on Buffy's lips before the blonde pulled away slowly.

"Did she just say what I think she said?"

"What, 'bout us two being attached at the hips, the lips, and the fingertips?" Faith asked, watching Buffy just raise an eyebrow as she tried to fight off the blush. "She's just stating the obvious here, B. You just can't keep your hands to yourself, can you?"

They laughed, briefly, before Buffy broke apart, turning her head away from Faith as she wiped away the tears yet failed to control the sobs that escaped. She had her arm around Buffy in an instant, pulling her in close as she continued to cry. Faith could feel her own tears stinging, feeling the deeper pain Buffy and the others were feeling over the loss of their friend. She felt it too, and it hurt like hell. The loss feeling almost unbearable and in ways Faith herself couldn't quite understand. It'd be a long day and an even longer week, and she couldn't even imagine how the months ahead were going to feel for all of them.

She wanted to tell Buffy what Angel had said to her the day before, but she wasn't sure if now was the right time to bring it up. She didn't want to talk about what Angel had said about her and Buffy's relationship. His words had cut through her heart like a knife and she knew Buffy had already heard it from him when he was there before. She did think that there was a slight possibility that yes, their relationship only was what it was because of the way the barrier had made them feel, but she'd always felt something real, something deep for Buffy that she never allowed herself to fully acknowledge until they'd come to Cleveland. She knew also that if their relationship wasn't supposed to be what it was, if Buffy was feeling love for her and it _was_ because of the effects of the barrier spell, soon as she figured it out things could get real bad real fast.

"Giles said we're leaving tomorrow morning, early," Buffy said softly as she looked over at Faith. "We're going to stay here tonight so we can get to the airport in plenty of time in the morning together."

"You sure you don't want me to come too, B? Andy could hold down the fort here for a few days to a week no problem," Faith replied, feeling rather uneasy about staying behind.

"No, you need to stay here, Faith. It's better this way."

"Okay." She didn't want to argue with Buffy. Not over something like that. If Buffy didn't want her to come along back to California for Willow's funeral then she wasn't going to press it any more. "It's not a big deal, B. We all gotta do what we gotta do even if it means not doin' it together right now."

"You're so..." Buffy sighed as she reached up and ran her fingertips over Faith's lips slowly. "I don't know why you never showed this side of you before. This caring, sweet, understanding, loving side."

"Got a rep to keep, B. Can't have everyone goin' around thinkin' I'm some big softie."

"It shouldn't matter," she said with a small smile. "This side of you...it's...amazing really, considering how you used to be. This is why I've fallen in love with you, Faith."

"Here I thought ya just fell in love with me cos the sex is bangin'," she chuckled softly and winced as Buffy punched her in the shoulder. "Well, isn't it? Gotta tell me if it ain't so I can up my game."

"I know what you're trying to do," Buffy said as the smile faded from her face. "I feel so guilty for acting this way when Will is..."

"It's okay, B. Just wanted to see ya smile a little today. Shouldn't feel guilty 'bout it either."

"Thanks, I guess."

Faith had really expected Buffy to keep her at arm's length through this, yet she wasn't. Not really. The time they'd spent inside the world between worlds had brought them so close together in ways that they probably wouldn't have in such a short amount of time had they never been there. Sure, it was all sorts of crazy and unpredictable how they'd feel even after months of being back in their own world, but everything had happened for a reason and everything that would continue to happen would be for whatever reason it was. It was like trying to figure out the meaning of life. Faith knew her meaning of life. She was a Slayer, first and foremost, but now she was also a lover, a friend, a part of a family she'd always wanted to be a part of right from the beginning.

They stayed out there for a little while longer before they went inside to join the others for breakfast. Nobody said a word and the silence was deafening. The clatter of the utensils against the plates was the only sound in the kitchen until Xander stood up so quickly the chair fell back, banging to the floor and sounding louder than a crack of thunder. He was angry, upset, and the tears in his eye began to fall as he brought his nearly empty plate over to the sink and dropped it in. Dawn was instantly at his side, wrapping her arms around him as they both started to cry uncontrollably. Buffy just reached for Faith's hand under the table, fighting back her own tears as they all tried not to watch the scene of Xander breaking down in front of them.

The heavy feeling they all now endured was becoming more weighty as time went on and the fact that Willow was really dead started to sink in more and more. Giles seemed to be the only other one that was managing to hold things together, but even he started breaking down at the scene of Xander crying uncontrollably in Dawn's arms. Kennedy was the first to leave the kitchen and Faith felt torn between staying there with Buffy and the others and going after Kennedy to make sure she was okay. She ended up staying with Buffy, the decision made much easier by the ironclad grip on her hand that showed no sign of being relinquished.

Everyone went off to do their own thing as soon as the table was cleared of half eaten plates of food. Buffy dragged Faith upstairs and they laid on the bed for hours. Faith could do nothing more than just hold Buffy whenever the tears would start again, and she slept only when Buffy's tears stopped and she fell asleep for a few short hours at a time. That numb feeling never went away, not even while they slept. The third time they dozed off, Faith was woken up by Buffy's insistent lips against hers.

Faith felt like she should've stopped her, but she didn't. She couldn't. She only pulled Buffy closer to her, deepening the kiss as Buffy tugged at her shirt, urging for her to take it off. She grabbed the edges of her own shirt and nearly ripped it off. From there it seemed almost as if their clothes were shed in the blink of an eye and they suddenly lay flush against one another. She broke apart from their deep, wildly passionate kiss, looking down into Buffy's eyes as she searched for what she really wanted. All she saw was the lust, the desire, the love in Buffy's eyes.

"Buffy—"

"No," Buffy said, cutting her off as she took one of her hands and brought her fingers to her lips. She sucked in her middle finger slowly and Faith felt everything come to a standstill as she was mesmerized by Buffy in that moment. "Just make me feel something else right now, Faith."

Faith held her breath as Buffy trailed her hand down her body slowly, circling her hard nipples for a moment before moving her hand down her stomach and in between her legs to her wet pussy. Faith kissed her hard as soon as she let go of her hand and she thrust two fingers deep inside of her, stifling Buffy's moan with her mouth as she kissed her deeper. Her fingers fucked her slowly yet hard, just the way she liked it. She tried to ignore the ache between her own legs as she focused on making Buffy feel that something else she wanted to feel. She knew Buffy just wanted to, for a little while, forget about everything that had happened and this was the one way that it was possible for her to.

From the sounds of things, Buffy wasn't the only one turning to sex to forget what had happened in the last twenty-four hours. She broke apart from the kiss when she felt Buffy shakily run a hand down her back, over her hips and in between her legs. With her other hand firmly around the back of Faith's neck, keeping her there in close proximity, Faith felt completely trapped in a good way, the only way feeling trapped felt good. The emotion was almost too much and Faith had to force back her tears just to feel wave after wave of pleasure that shot through her body with every teasing pass of Buffy's fingers over her clit. They were breathing heavily, their lips barely touching, eyes closed, lost within the passion, the pleasure, the feel of one another.

Every small moan that escaped past Buffy's lips fuelled Faith's already highly charged libido and she tried to hold herself back, wanting nothing more than to fuck Buffy to abandon, until she was so sore it hurt so good. But she kept it slow, fucking her hard and deep as she could, feeling her inner walls clamp down on her fingers with every thrust. Faith kissed her deeply, fucking her mouth with her tongue in time with her fingers deep inside her cunt. Faith felt her own orgasm creeping over her body and Buffy had hardly touched her, but it never mattered to her. All it took sometimes was feeling Buffy coming against her fingers or her tongue and she was right there with her.

Faith moved down her body, moaning softly as Buffy pulled her fingers away from teasing her clit. She circled her tongue over each hard nipple, her eyes never leaving Buffy's face as she watched the pleasure she felt overtake her. She moved down the rest of her body quickly, feeling how close she was and wanting nothing more than to taste her as she came. Faith slowly slid her fingers out and licked them clean, watching Buffy as she looked down and watched her, her eyes glazing over slightly before she threw her head back and let out a whimpering moan.

She slid down to the edge of the bed, pulling Buffy down with her and positioned her just the way she needed to as she knelt on the floor. Buffy's legs were instantly over her shoulders as she dove right in, fucking her as hard, as fast, and as deep as she could with her tongue as she circled her clit with her thumb. She moaned deeply in the back of her throat as Buffy came and she drank her nearly dry before finally placing a kiss on either side of her thighs and crawling up on the bed next to her, watching as she tried to catch her breath, the last bits of her climax rolling through her body.

"Hey," Faith whispered softly once Buffy opened her eyes and turned her head slightly to look at her.

"Hey," she smiled a little as she pulled Faith in for a deep, passionate kiss.

"Getting kinda late," Faith said once she broke apart from the kiss. "Got an early flight in the mornin', B. Should get some sleep."

"I can sleep on the plane," she said, smirking as she moved to straddle Faith quickly before Faith had the chance to register the fact that Buffy was far from finished. "Right now," she sighed softly as she sat back and stared down at Faith's naked form, "I need to make you feel as good as you made me feel."

"You always make me feel good, B."

There were those few moments when Buffy always seemed unsure of what to do when she topped Faith with intentions of devouring her, worshipping her body. But those few moments were very vague and quickly disappeared the second she leaned down and wrapped her lips around one of Faith's achingly stiff nipples. She bit her lip, still tasting Buffy all over her lips and tongue, and she tried not to close her eyes, wanting to watch Buffy as her lips and tongue travelled all over her body. As soon as Buffy's tongue ran the length of her slit and her lips wrapped around her clit, she knew that sleep was definitely not going to happen all night long. And she really couldn't be any happier about it either. It might have made her feel a little guilty for wanting to forget about what had happened to Willow, but if it helped them both get through the night, then she'd go with it.

* * *

By the first light of dawn, Faith could barely move. Buffy had exhausted her to no end and it felt good—real good. They lay tangled in the sheets and each other and Buffy was idly stroking her fingers over Faith's stomach as they listened to the others in the house trying to finish their packing for the trip to California. Buffy said nothing as she laid a soft, lingering kiss against Faith's lips before getting up from the bed and picking up her discarded clothes from the floor. She still had to pack, but most of her clothes were at the apartment now. Faith slid out of bed and got dressed, neither of them really looking at one another until Buffy headed for the locked bedroom door.

"I need to go..." she said softly as she turned to Faith. "I have to..."

"I know," Faith said with a smile as she wrapped her arms around her. "Got plenty of time, B. Flight's in two hours."

Buffy let out a soft sigh as she held on to Faith for a moment before she reached for the doorknob and opened it slowly. She took a few deep breaths, reaching behind her for Faith's hand before stepping out into the hallway and managing a small smile as Faith instantly intertwined their fingers and followed her down the stairs. Everyone was in the kitchen drinking coffee and talking quietly about plans to head to the airport in less than half an hour. Buffy looked panicked and Faith just gave her hand a gentle squeeze in hopes that she could keep her calm, just a little.

"I need to pack!" Buffy said in a hushed whisper to her as she let go of her hand. "Shit, I don't have enough time to pack what I need!"

"You'll be fine, B. Plenty of time."

"Not for me!"

"Buffy?" Dawn said as she pointed to a small suitcase by the back door. "I couldn't sleep last night and I knew you'd forget to pack so I went over to the apartment and got a few things for you."

"Thanks," she said as she walked over to Dawn and hugged her. "God, I don't know what I would've done if you hadn't—"

"It's nothing. I just grabbed what I thought you'd need and Giles said anything else we need to get we'll get it when we land in LA."

Faith left the two of them there to talk quietly and walked over to the coffeemaker where Kennedy was standing, staring blankly into the mug she held in both her hands. She grabbed a clean mug out of the cupboard and poured herself a cup, sighing softly as Buffy stepped up behind her and wrapped her arms around her.

"We're leaving soon," she whispered as Faith slowly turned around in her arms and wrapped her own around Buffy almost protectively. "I'm going to miss you."

"Gonna miss you too, B. Only gonna be gone for a couple days. Y'know, I'm not much of a phone person, but you could always call me if ya miss me too much or whatever."

"I will," she said as she leaned in for a soft kiss. "Are you going to stay here at the house with everyone or..."

"Prob'ly be here, B."

"Okay."

Before Buffy could even lean in for another kiss, Dawn made gagging noises from across the kitchen, muttering under her breath how they needed rules about sucking face in the kitchen. Buffy barely pulled away from Faith as she grabbed one of the bagels out of the basket on the counter and chucked it at Dawn to get her to shut up. Faith cast a quick glance over at Dawn as she ducked out of the way of the flying bagel. It caused her to laugh a little before the small smile on her face turned into a frown. Everyone was suddenly thinking the same thing—that it wasn't right to laugh, smile, and joke around when Willow had died just two nights ago.

Faith spent the next twenty minutes with Buffy once they'd gone out to the front porch together to have a little bit of time to say goodbye alone. Faith kissed her slowly, sensually, deeply, trying to savour every last second she had with Buffy before she left. It'd be the first time in over two months that they'd be spending so much time apart. Buffy didn't want to stop kissing her, not even when the others came out and loaded up the van with their luggage. She ignored Giles as he called out for her to hurry up and finish saying goodbye to Faith and she ignored Kennedy as she joined them on the front porch with a cup of coffee in each hand. When Giles started beeping the horn, she finally pulled back from the kiss.

"I'll call you when we land," she whispered softly against Faith's lips, kissing her once more and keeping it chaste.

"Okay, B."

They said nothing else. No 'I love you's' no 'goodbyes' and not even another 'I'll miss you' were uttered between them. Faith took the cup of coffee Kennedy had brought out for her and the two of them watched as Giles backed the van out of the driveway and drove off.

"You two are seriously head over heels in love with each other, aren't you?"

"Fuckin' right we are," Faith said proudly as she lifted her mug to her lips to try to hide the grin that slipped out. "Sometimes I can't believe we're together and it's actually workin' out, y'know?"

"I know. Willow talked about you two a lot," Kennedy said quietly as she leaned against the railing with her back to the street. "Sometimes I think she was a little jealous that you two have what you have and that we could never have that together. I know what I had with her couldn't touch what she once had with Tara and it can't touch what you and Buffy have either."

"You two had something special, though," Faith said, offering Kennedy a smile in hopes of reassuring her. "Just gotta remember those good times you two had together is all. Gotta forget all the bad and what it was like near the end. Gonna drive ya crazy if ya don't."

"Hurts so much," Kennedy sighed as she let the tears fall easily. "I never had a chance to tell her how sorry I was for making such a stupid mistake. I really broke her heart, Faith, and now she'll never know how sorry I am for being so fucking stupid."

"Sure she knows, Ken."

"Satsu and I were talking last night," she said as she turned to look at Faith. "She wants to...try this together and I told her I needed some time. She's pretty understanding about it, but..."

"But she's being persistent, isn't she?"

"Yeah," Kennedy said, chuckling a little as Faith nudged her with her shoulder. "I don't know. I like her and all and she's pretty good in bed," she said and she let out a soft sigh as she lowered her eyes to the ground, "but I'm kind of scared because of the connection I feel with her. It's never been like that with anyone else before, you know?"

"I know. Scared me how I felt with Buffy at first too and to be honest, still kinda scares me even now. It's like finding the other half of your soul or somethin', ya feel complete but you're also afraid one wrong move will send 'em runnin' as far and fast as they can away from ya."

"You ever think about where you two will be a year from now?"

"Hopin' we'll still be together. Buffy's the longest relationship I've ever had and I kinda wanna keep her," Faith replied, smiling despite trying to fight it. It was hopeless to fight that smile since just thinking about Buffy warmed her heart and her soul. "Hopin' she'll put up with me for that long too. Cos you know me, I can be a kinda stubborn asshole sometimes."

"Maybe that's one of the things she loves about you?"

"Maybe. Gotta say, though," Faith said as she let out a deep breath and turned to look out at the street, "never expected bein' in love with someone would change me so much. Keep wanting to be a better person for Buffy cos she deserves nothin' less."

"Love is a little crazy sometimes and it's better just to go with it than to try to understand it. Willow said something like that to me once."

"We're all gonna miss her like crazy, Ken."

"I know," she replied, her voice quavering as Faith reached out with one arm and pulled her in for a small hug. "God, I hate this. Every time I think the tears have dried up, they just come rushing back on me."

"Nothing wrong with crying, Ken. Just let it out," Faith said softly, still holding her with one arm and offering her yet another smile. "Ain't like you don't have a shoulder to cry on either. Mine's open and willing to soak up the tears any time ya need it. Just watch where ya put the hands."

"Faith!" Kennedy laughed as she pushed her away. "So, what's the plan for today?"

"Thinkin' I'll swing by the store later, pick up a case of beer, and we'll mourn out back under the tree and drink ourselves stupid."

"Definitely could use some alcohol right about now."

"Way too early, Ken."

"Haven't slept yet."

"Me neither."

"I know. I heard you two going at it all night long," she laughed softly. "Who knew Buffy would be such an animal in the sack?"

"I sure as hell didn't," Faith chuckled before finishing off her coffee and motioning for Kennedy to follow her inside. "Y'know, I'm kinda glad Buffy didn't hear Dawnie and Xander last night. She woulda flipped."

"Yeah, no kidding. Kinda fucked up that their first time is one night after Willow..." Kennedy trailed off, shaking her head as she followed Faith into the kitchen. "Okay, their whole relationship is kinda fucked up and doesn't make much sense yet at the same time it does. I do feel bad for Xander, though. First he loses Anya and then his best friend. That has to be rough."

Faith nodded her head, smiling over at Jackie who was currently standing by the stove cooking up a fresh batch of bacon. She poured herself another cup of coffee and hoisted herself up on the counter as Satsu, Carmen, and Amber came in from out back. Her heart already ached, missing Buffy more than she thought would be possible, and she hadn't even been gone for an hour yet. It was going to be a very long couple of days and she couldn't wait to have Buffy in her arms once again.


	37. Chapter 37

For the next four days, Faith spent almost all her time at the house with Kennedy, Jackie, and the other Slayers. She could feel the void that was there without Willow alive. It was nearly as big as the void she felt without Buffy being there. They'd talked on the phone for some time each night since Buffy had gone with the others to California to bury Willow and to visit her family in their time of grief and loss. Most of the conversations between them had been light and brief except for the one on the second night when things got a little heated and Faith almost got caught by Kennedy with her hands down her pants, breathing into the phone for Buffy to touch herself. It wasn't the same having phone sex with Buffy, she needed to physically touch her, but it still turned her on to no end hearing Buffy whisper sweet, naughty words through the phone, her breath practically caressing her entire body.

She hadn't heard a lot about the funeral that had been just yesterday. Buffy could hardly stop crying over the phone and she ended up being kicked off while Giles got on and asked Faith how things were holding up at the house. She left out the parts where they'd done nothing but drink at night, skipping out on patrol because none of them really could be bothered to go. Perry and Marshall had promised they'd take over until Buffy and the others came back home and Faith trusted that they would keep things under moderate control until then. Before she'd hung up the phone, Giles told her to expect them later that afternoon and ever since, she'd sat out back with the others, soaking up the hot July sun wearing nothing more than a bikini top and short denim shorts she'd cut out of a pair of jeans that almost got completely thrashed one night on patrol.

"God, can it be any hotter?" Kennedy groaned softly as she rolled onto her back and pushed her hair out of her eyes. "We seriously need a fucking pool out here."

"What about one of those kiddie pools? Fill it up with cold water and just sit in it?" Carmen asked as she looked over from the lounge chair she'd been lying in all afternoon. "It's not much, but it'd do the job, wouldn't it?"

"How 'bout I go get the hose?" Faith asked as she pulled her sunglasses down a little and peered over them at Carmen. "_That'd_ do the job 'bout the same."

"Too much effort," Carmen laughed as Faith lay back on the blanket she'd spread out near the tree and under the shade. "But if you are willing to move..."

"Nah, you're right," Faith smirked as she stared up at the sky through the bare spots in the tree. "Way too much effort. Plus it's too damn hot today to even fuckin' breathe, much less move."

"Was it hotter where you two were before?" Kennedy asked quietly from next to her. "You did say it was hot as hell there."

"Yeah, kinda unbearable, but you'd be surprised how quick your body adapts. Besides," Faith said as she looked over at Jackie who was tending to the small garden at the far end of the backyard, "Jackie was there for over twenty years. Don't know how she could stand it."

"Easy," Jackie said as she turned to look at all of them. "I had no other choice. It was accept it and deal or just curl up and die, and I was not coward enough to do the latter."

"So, just look at this heat wave just like that," Faith pointed out, smirking as Carmen rolled her eyes and reached for her glass of formerly ice water that was now just warm water.

They fell back into silence, listening to the radio they'd brought out play mellow classic rock songs Faith personally hadn't heard in years. She tried not to watch as Satsu, who was lying on the lounge chair next to Carmen, turned over onto her stomach, but she couldn't help but stare at her. She wore a tiny white bikini that barely covered anything at all. Every inch of her skin was flawless and perfect, her muscles showing just enough definition to show she was a very strong woman despite her small frame. She knew what Kennedy saw in her, besides her personality, and for a few lingering moments she really couldn't blame Kennedy for wanting a piece of that. Satsu didn't compare to Buffy, though—nobody did—and just thinking that made her feel a little better for discreetly checking Satsu out.

She smiled to herself when she felt that oh so familiar buzz in her body that told her Buffy was near, that she and the others were finally home. What bothered her was the fact that Satsu seemed to know too, since she lifted her head and looked towards the gate quite a few moments before they actually heard the van pull in the driveway. She shrugged it off and got up from the blanket to head inside, breathing a sigh of relief that Xander had fixed the air conditioner. She pulled out a cold bottle of beer from the fridge as Buffy and the others came inside. Buffy was the first to come into the kitchen and she instantly had her arms wrapped around Faith and her lips upon hers, devouring her in a very deep and passionate kiss.

"Hey, baby," Faith said softly against her lips, not wanting to pull away just yet, but doing so anyway when the others walked into the kitchen a moment later. "Flight go okay?"

"Felt longer than it was," Buffy replied softly as she pulled away from Faith. "You're all sweaty."

"Been layin' out back all day with the girls, soakin' up some sun...y'know, just another typical lazy Saturday afternoon in good ole Cleveland."

"This new?" Buffy asked as she ran her fingers over the edge of her light blue bikini top just around the underside of her breasts. Faith only nodded and flashed a smug grin as Buffy slowly pulled her fingers away. "It's nice."

"Why don't ya go put on your suit and come out back with us?"

"Sure, give me a couple minutes," Buffy said, smiling as she leaned in for a quick kiss before she pulled away and walked out of the kitchen.

"You guys feel up for a barbecue tonight?" Xander asked as he opened the freezer and pulled out a few packages of steaks.

"Sure, why not?" Faith shrugged. "What better way to spend a Saturday afternoon, right?"

"Right," Xander said with a forced smile. "Good thing you stocked the fridge full of beer. Seriously could use one or twelve right about now."

"It can't be a lazy summer day without beer," Faith laughed, and she and Xander high fived each other before she headed back outside, the heat hitting her full force the second she opened the door.

Faith laid back down on the blanket next to Kennedy, unable to wipe the smile off of her face as she slid her sunglasses back on her face. She gave Kennedy a little kick to the leg when Buffy walked out of the house and all Kennedy did was scoff and move to the other lounge chair next to Satsu as Buffy walked over wearing her small, almost matching bikini. There was just enough mix of sun and shade under the tree and Buffy laid down next to Faith and made herself comfortable. Faith couldn't not stare at her body in that light blue bikini that barely covered her where it should. It was skimpier than the bikini Satsu was wearing and Faith could feel the others' eyes on Buffy as she stretched out slowly.

"Like what you see, Faith?" Buffy asked as she glanced over at her, smiling as she reached out and lightly stroked the outside of Faith's knee.

"Of course I like what I see, baby," she smiled as she leaned over and planted a light kiss on her lips. She trailed her lips to her ear, unable to stop the laugh as she whispered, "I think the others do too."

Buffy let out a laugh as Faith pulled away from her slowly only after planting a few light kisses on her neck just below her ear. She couldn't help but cop a quick feel either and her hand was quickly swatted away from Buffy's breast before any of the others could see. Four days had been complete torture for her and from the way Buffy just glanced over at her and slowly licked her lips, she knew she wasn't the only one feeling that way.

For a little while it felt like everything was back to the way it had been before. The sound of laughter that rang throughout the group as Xander fired up the grill made it feel like Willow was still there. Almost. Everyone laughed until they were crying when Andrew walked outside wearing a black Speedo, which caused him to grumble angrily that they just couldn't appreciate a man in a Speedo as he pulled one of the lounge chairs into the sun and situated himself on it.

"Man? Hardly, Andy boy," Faith laughed as she looked over at him.

"Are all Slayers gay?" Andrew asked, sounding rather annoyed as everyone continued to laugh at him. "I'm serious!"

"I'm not gay and I can appreciate a man in a Speedo," Amber spoke up as she looked over at him. They all roared with renewed laughter at the shy smiles exchanged between the two of them. "What?"

"You're on your own there, Amber," Kennedy laughed as she sat up and wiped away her tears. "Faith, you want another beer?"

"I'm good for now," she replied as she glanced down at her empty bottle and looked back up to meet with Buffy's disapproving eyes. "This is only my second one, B."

"I didn't say anything."

"Yeah, but I know what you're thinkin', B."

"Do you?" Buffy asked, looking at her as she ran her fingertips over her stomach slowly, watching Faith as her breath hitched in her throat. "That's what I thought."

Faith groaned in frustration, knowing exactly what Buffy was getting at yet also knowing she couldn't just take her away inside and fuck her for hours to make up for the lost days between them. That could come once they were back at the apartment later and completely alone and until that happened, Faith would just have to deal with her raging libido and the ache between her legs that was becoming unbearable every time she even just _looked_ at Buffy. Of course, in the end, her hunger won over all thoughts as soon as she smelt the steaks cooking on the barbecue.

The last time they had quiet, relaxing moments like this, everything went to shit. Faith tried not to think of the worst, but she knew better now. Always expect the worst to happen because without a doubt, it would happen whether she tried to prevent it or not.

* * *

Faith was still wide awake when the sun rose and flooded through the window in the bedroom. Buffy had exhausted her—fucking her, making love with her, all night long until she couldn't keep her eyes open for a minute longer. Every inch of Faith's body was deliciously sore and the many love-bites Buffy had given her would be gone in mere hours. She hadn't even gotten the chance to pull out the strap-on she'd picked up at the sex shop just around the corner the day that Buffy and the others had left for California, but she knew she'd have plenty of time to since they planned to spend their Sunday lounging in bed together. She had been at Buffy's mercy all night long and it wasn't as if she was complaining either, she just wanted to take Buffy in every way she knew Buffy wanted her to and she could hardly wait for Buffy to wake up so she could do just that.

Buffy was lying on her stomach with her face turned away from her and Faith just laid on her side, watching the sunlight as it danced over her naked skin. Her fingers itched to reach out and touch, but she kept her hand at her side and the other tucked under her head and opted on just drinking in every inch of Buffy that lay bare for her eyes to see. She could see the faintest scar from where the sword from the Turok-Han had gone through her and suddenly the urge to reach out and touch was too much as her hand covered the distance between them and her fingertips just barely brushed over the small white scar.

"Mmm, is it morning already?" Buffy whispered as she turned to look at Faith.

"Yeah," she replied just as quietly as she leaned in for a very soft yet lingering kiss. "Still wicked early though, B."

"You haven't slept at all, have you?"

"Nah," Faith said as she shook her head a little. "You kinda got me all wound up last night. Kinda hard to sleep after havin' multiple orgasms that rocked my fuckin' world."

"Mmm," Buffy sighed, smiling as she closed her eyes and moved to lay partly on top of Faith. "Usually you pass out for hours afterwards."

"Yeah, dunno why it ain't like that this time."

"Maybe you just missed me?" Buffy asked as she lifted her head from Faith's shoulder to look at her. "You did, didn't you?"

"Fuckin' right I did," she grinned as she pulled Buffy in for a deep kiss, both of them moaning as Buffy slipped a leg between Faith's and ground her thigh into the brunette's aching center. "God, I so could do this every mornin' for the rest of my life."

Buffy arched an eyebrow at her words, looking slightly terrified for half a second before she smiled a sweet smile that completely melted Faith's heart. She uttered the words silently 'me too' against her lips before she suddenly slipped out of bed and was through the bedroom door in seconds. Faith groaned and let out a soft sigh when she heard the water in the shower running a moment later. She'd meant what she said about being able to spend every morning for the rest of her life waking up next to Buffy and sharing a sweet, passionate kiss, morning dragon breath and all. It was one of those thoughts she never imagined she'd ever say before, or feel, but it felt right and it felt like nothing else she'd ever felt in her life. It was a sense of peace, of love, of belonging.

She urged her tired, aching body out of bed and padded to the bathroom, yawning as she walked in, looking at the steam billowing out from the hot shower Buffy was having. She brushed her teeth quickly, unable to stop herself from stealing glances at Buffy through the foggy glass shower door. As much as she wanted to join Buffy in the shower, she didn't, only grabbing her robe off the back of the door and slipping it on as she walked out of the bathroom and headed to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee.

The little bit of time alone gave her too much time to think about everything. About her feelings for Buffy, about how much she'd changed, about how _everything_ had changed as soon as they'd driven off from the crater in the ground formally known as Sunnydale. She thought about those few moments she and Buffy had together, about those long lingering looks that said so much more at the time than she realized. It was hard to believe that a few months ago she'd been in jail, doing her time and spending almost every hour thinking about her past and all the wrong she'd done. When Wesley had come to get her, she saw it as a moment in time that would change the rest of her life but at that time she'd had no idea just how drastic that change would be.

So much had happened in the last handful of months and even just looking back at everything, it overwhelmed her a little bit. It wasn't like she wasn't used to her life being that way either, but for once she just wanted things to slow down and give her a chance to truly enjoy life and love instead of worrying about all the things that went bump in the night and whatever else would come along. As soon as Buffy walked out of the bathroom, clad in only a towel wrapped around her body, all her thoughts literally floated away.

"Shower's free," Buffy said with a small smile as she reached for a clean mug on the shelf in the cupboard just above the coffeemaker.

"Cool."

"We got the entire day to ourselves. Well," Buffy sighed as she placed her mug on the counter rather heavily and rolled her eyes, "aside from the meeting Giles wants to have tonight we have the whole day to ourselves."

"What's the meeting for, do ya know?"

"About the Slayers the other Watchers are bringing in to be trained. They'll be showing up within the next week and we need to have some sort of legitimate plan when it comes to training and school schedules. The whole thing makes my head hurt just a little bit."

"Guess we'll have to make the most of our free time before the SIT's start showing up then, huh?"

"SIT's?"

"Slayers in training! Keep up, B."

"Oh," Buffy laughed as she shook her head. "Leave it up to you to give them all a nickname before they even show up."

"Callin' it as I see it is all. Would be good to have some kinda technical term for 'em, wouldn't it?"

"Sure."

"You really don't care, do ya?"

"Nope."

Faith chuckled as Buffy wrapped her arms around her, their coffee long forgotten in that moment their lips touched. The towel Buffy had wrapped around her dropped to the floor as Faith's hands roamed, eager to touch, to feel, and to eventually taste. It was as if her mind slipped into its own little world, a world where all that was there was Buffy and all she wanted to do was bring her over the edge, over and over again. To feel the ecstasy running through her body, to feel that electrifying touch every time their bodies touched. To taste that sweet taste that was distinctly Buffy, the taste that made her crave so much more.

As soon as Buffy had her out of her robe she was practically dragging her back to the bedroom, her lips never leaving Buffy's as she led them there. their safe haven was that room, that bed, each other, and it was fast growing into an addiction of sorts—or it had already reached that plateau of being an addiction and they were only feeding it now. It never failed to amaze her the way Buffy's body reacted to her touch as she pushed her gently down on the bed and held up a single finger to her lips when Buffy protested against her not being right there with her.

"Faith..."

"Hold up a sec, B," she chuckled softly as she walked over to the dresser and opened the top drawer. She hesitated for a moment, almost asking Buffy if she was up for it, but then just pulled out the box with the strap-on inside and made her way over to the bed. "Little somethin' somethin' I picked up the other day."

"For me?"

"For _us_."

Faith let her take the box from her hands and she watched Buffy as she opened it, smiling to herself as the blush crept over Buffy's face. Buffy looked a little nervous as she lifted the strap-on gingerly out of the box. It wasn't really big, about seven inches long and purple. Buffy laughed as Faith tossed the box across the room and watched her as Buffy ran her hands over the smooth rubber phallus.

"Purple?"

"Popular colour," Faith shrugged. "If you ain't up for it, B..."

"Did I say that?" Buffy asked coyly as she handed it to Faith. "I never said I wasn't, but here's where that whole uncharted territory thing comes crashing back."

The sexual animal deep inside of Faith was trying to claw its way out and it took a hell of a lot of restraint on her part to take things slow and not slam Buffy down on the bed, put on the strap-on, and fuck the hell out of her. She stood up from the bed and slipped on the leather harness, slipping the smaller end of the purple dildo inside of her before she tightened the straps. Buffy watched her with heavy lidded eyes as she lay back on the bed slightly propped up on her elbows. Faith's heart was racing and she was finding it harder and harder to contain her excitement as she crawled up the bed and hovered over Buffy.

"Hey," she said softly, leaning down to kiss her.

"Hey stud," Buffy chuckled, the sound of it reverberating through Faith's body.

Faith shook a little as she reached down between Buffy's legs, feeling a flood of wetness as soon as she slicked her fingers over her clit. She coated the dildo with as much of Buffy's wetness she could before she pressed the tip to the opening of her hole, her eyes never leaving Buffy's as she waited for Buffy to change her mind and tell her to stop. She slid it inside of her, inch by inch, her whole body tensing as Buffy wrapped her legs around her waist, burying it inside of her completely.

"Feel okay?" Faith asked softly, smiling down at Buffy as she nodded her head and gasped as Faith rolled her hips slightly.

"Feels...more than okay," Buffy said as she gripped onto Faith's shoulders. "Just go slow."

"Tell me if it's too much, B. Or not enough."

Buffy sighed out as she loosened the grip of her legs around Faith's waist. She started off slow with small, short thrusts, allowing Buffy some time to get used to it inside of her. Buffy moans were driving her on and she couldn't hold herself back and keep it slow for much longer. She thrust into her harder, holding her breath as Buffy arched her back into her and gripped onto her hips, forcing her to do it again and faster. She soon found a rhythm that had Buffy moaning and writhing beneath her.

Buffy flipped them over, grinning sexily down at Faith as she rode her slowly, raising her hips up just a little before ever so slowly sliding back down. It created delicious friction against her clit and she gripped onto Buffy's hips, holding her still where she was as she began to raise her hips into her blindingly fast. She knew she'd be sore, but Buffy was in throes of ecstasy that went beyond anything she'd felt with Faith before. Buffy fell forward, holding herself up with her hands as she kissed Faith furiously, nearly bruising her lips as the intensity and force of the kiss. Buffy gasped into Faith's mouth as they both stopped for a moment, sweat lining their bodies, hearts racing.

"Fuck," Buffy groaned as she leaned her forehead against Faith's.

"Feel good, baby?"

"Oh yeah."

Faith kissed her softly as she slid a hand between their bodies, her fingers seeking out Buffy's clit. She started thrusting up into her slowly while circling her clit in a way she knew would have Buffy coming in minutes. She felt like a haze had settled around them, trapping them for just a brief moment in time. The sounds of the city just faded away, the light streaming in through the window dimmed just a little, and all Faith could see and hear was Buffy as she gasped and moaned as her orgasm began to wash over her. Buffy collapsed fully on her, panting heavily. Faith undid the straps slowly and eased out of Buffy and slipped the strap-on off completely before pulling Buffy flush against her.

She ran her hands up and down Buffy's back slowly, waiting for her to recover from the orgasm that had ripped through her body almost violently. She'd never seen Buffy spent so easily in all the times they'd been together, but being up most of the night with very little sleep wasn't helping any either.

"That was..." Buffy sighed as she lifted her head so she could look into Faith's eyes. "That was...wow, I really don't know what else to say."

"Definitely was wow and then some, B."

"You didn't have to stop."

"Like it better just you and me," Faith whispered softly. "Love the way ya feel against me."

Buffy sighed softly, smiling as she moved to kiss across Faith's neck, nipping at the skin just over the pulse point as she slid her own body down against her lover. Faith's whole body was on edge, having been on the brink of her own orgasm since Buffy had come. She needed the release and Buffy knew she did, so she quickly made her way down the brunette's body, stopping to lick over the hard, sensitive nipples before moving down between her legs. Faith reluctantly reached down to stop Buffy when she heard someone knocking on the door and they both groaned in frustration as they struggled to get up from the bed and get dressed quickly.

"Why is it that every single time we're alone together someone _always_ interrupts us?" Buffy asked, growling as she pulled a clean tank top over her head, not even bothering with a bra. "I thought the whole point of us living here was so we didn't have to worry about someone interrupting our alone time?"

"Fuck if I know, B."

"It's just going to get worse, isn't it?"

"Sure as hell hope not," Faith replied as she watched Buffy slip on a flowing light blue skirt similar to the white one she'd worn about a week before. "But with Giles plannin' to house all the SIT's in this building, gotta tell ya, time alone is gonna be hard to come by."

"How is this ever going to work then?"

"It's not gonna be _that_ bad, B," Faith chuckled, pulling Buffy into her before she could walk out of the bedroom. "Who knew you were such a demon in the sack, huh?"

"Me?" Buffy laughed, trying to look as innocent as she could with her current post-orgasm glow.

"Yes, you."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Oh yeah?" Faith smirked as she backed Buffy up against the wall right near the doorframe. She had her hands sliding up the blonde's legs, under her skirt, and cupping her bare pussy instantly. "Still fuckin' soaked, B."

"Faith...the door," Buffy sighed out as Faith gently fingered her tender hole before she pulled her hand away. "You know it's your fault!"

"My fault?"

"You just..." Buffy looked flustered as she straightened out her skirt a little. "You always get me so worked up. Nobody has ever done that to me before. I can't even be in the same room as you without wanting to..."

"Fuck? Perfectly natural, B. We're fuckin' hot for each other and there ain't a damn thing wrong with that either."

Buffy just let out a short laugh as she walked out of the bedroom leaving Faith standing there with a pout and her arms crossed over her chest. Buffy went to answer the door and Faith could only let out a heavy, agitated sigh as she headed for the kitchen and hoped the coffee was still hot. Despite having their whole morning in bed thrown off, she was surprisingly not angry when Buffy let Xander into the apartment. He had bags of groceries and Faith just laughed off the fact that she had completely forgotten that he offered to bring them some food the day before. She made up a coffee for him and the three of them went to sit out on the balcony to enjoy the warm, summer morning sun.

The depression showed heavily on his face as he forced a smile at the two of them. He looked as exhausted as Faith felt herself and she knew the loss of Willow had hit him the hardest out of all of them. They hadn't talked about her, about the funeral, since they had come back from California and despite the fact that Faith wanted to know how everything went, she knew better than to ask before the others were ready to talk about it. Buffy had been struggling to hold herself together, but when they were making love all night long, she'd managed to forget about it for a little while and just indulge herself in Faith.

They talked about Giles' plans for training the younger Slayers, talked about plans of possibly taking some time off, going away somewhere far from Cleveland for a much needed vacation. Faith knew it'd never happen, at least not anytime soon, but she got lost in Buffy's fantasy of flying to Italy to spend a couple of months there away from the rest of the world and their day to day lives. Xander wanted to go back to California, to where his parents had relocated in Fresno, and spend some time there working with a few guys he'd done construction work with before. It was the first both Buffy and Faith had heard of him talk about this and how serious he was about doing it if he was no longer needed in Cleveland.

"What about Dawn?" Buffy asked calmly. "You're just going to leave her here?"

"It's not serious between us, Buff, and you know that."

"So what, are you using my sister?"

"It isn't like that," Xander responded through clenched teeth. "Dawn and I talked about this the other night, about the possibility of me going back to California for a couple of months. It isn't like it's set in stone. It's just one of those fleeting dreams I know I'll get the chance to do once and if I don't take it, it'll slip right through my fingers."

"I get that," Faith said as she smiled at him. "We still want you here, Xand. You're needed here."

"Doing what?"

"Groceries?" Faith joked and that got him laughing. "Nah, man. You know we'd all miss ya too much if you went back out to the west coast."

"Like I said, it's just a fleeting dream, a possibility. Done a lot of thinking in the last couple of days and asked myself why."

"Why what?" Buffy asked him as she shifted on the bench to move closer to Faith.

"Why I didn't go off and do my own thing after Sunnydale."

"But you are a part of the family, Xander. You belong here with all of us."

"I know that, Buffy. Just sometimes you get these thoughts, you know?" Xander said and he sighed heavily as he stared down into his coffee mug. "You two ever wonder what it'd be like right now if we went our separate ways after Sunnydale? You think you two would even be together now if we didn't stick together?"

It really got Faith thinking and she knew she'd be off somewhere on her own and that no, she and Buffy would have never gotten together or even made an attempt at being friends if they hadn't all stuck together after Sunnydale. It was a sobering thought and from the look on Buffy's face, she knew she was thinking pretty much the same thing even if both of them were too afraid to say the words aloud. The way Faith looked at it, if she didn't say it then it couldn't lend any weight to unwanted theories about their relationship, especially regarding how and why it had come about.

"Just a question," Xander muttered under his breath after neither of them said a word. "Because you know how things used to be and then you go and compare them to how they are now and...you know, you start asking yourself all these questions hoping to find an answer...or go crazy trying to."

"Everything would be completely different," Buffy said as she looked over at Faith and pouted a little. "I don't even think we'd...have had the chance to get over our past differences and find something new in each other. Whether it ended up being friendship or something more."

"Everything happens for a reason though," Faith said to both of them. "Just gotta let life happen and stop trying to say 'what if' or try to figure out what would be different if you did one thing differently."

"You do it all the time," Buffy said pointedly. "And don't lie to me."

"I know I do it all the time, doesn't mean I don't know that I shouldn't be," Faith replied, smirking at the oblivious look on Buffy's face as she turned to look away from her. "Don't worry, B. I'm sure if things were different we woulda found each other one way or another."

Buffy kissed her then, keeping it very brief since they were both fully aware that Xander was watching, possibly drooling just a little. Faith flashed a sweet smile at her as they parted and turned to look at Xander who was trying not to look like he'd been staring at the two of them. they all laughed at the slight awkwardness of the situation and shrugged it off, going back to talking about the plans they knew of so far when it came to training the Slayers that were about to start showing up there.

Faith could feel something different coming from Buffy. Hesitation and that ever familiar urge to pack up and run as far and fast away as she could get. Faith had to be honest with herself and admit she was feeling the same way most days. The responsibility they would have soon with the SIT's would be more than anything they'd ever known. They'd be responsible for training these girls to fight and keep themselves from getting killed by every creature and being that went bump in the night and lurked in every dark shadow. They weren't expected to have to deal with everything and Giles had made that pretty clear before.

There was one thing nobody had talked about since that night Willow had been killed and that was the fact that Faith and Buffy were supposed to have all this extra strength and yet, facing those vamps had been a challenge for both of them even with that extra strength they now possessed. Talking about anything from that night was rough on all of them but Faith's curiosity was growing now that she thought more about it. She still felt that power coursing through her body with every breath she took, but it didn't mean that they could take on a group of vampires any easier than they were able to before.

Faith sighed out softly, running a hand through her hair and listening as Xander complained about the muggy heat and smoggy air that hung like a curtain over the city most days. They moved back inside once the sun got too hot and Buffy started cooking up some omelettes for lunch while Xander checked out Faith's growing DVD collection that was stacked on the shelf next to the TV. She knew he'd come by for another reason other than the groceries he'd offered to bring. She knew he didn't want to be in that house any longer than he had to be. Although they'd been in Cleveland just over two months, that house had tons of memories and she knew for Xander, a lot of those memories were shared with Willow and the others, not her and Buffy.

Faith joined Buffy in the kitchen, helping her chop up the onions, green peppers, and cheese to make the omelettes. They kept stealing soft, tender kisses, smiling and giggling every time Xander would look over at them and blush furiously. She stole one last kiss before she grabbed the eggs out of the fridge for Buffy and that was when Dawn, Kennedy, and the other slayers showed up at the apartment with Giles and Jackie right behind them.

It made her feel truly at home with everyone she cared about and that cared about her there in the apartment. Even though the laughter was hard to come by lately, it still didn't fail to come out as Andrew started to giggle uncontrollably when he walked past the bedroom. Buffy's face went beet red when she realized that the strap-on Faith had so haphazardly tossed aside before lay in plain view on the bedroom floor next to the bed. Giles' face was just as red and he was the one who ended up closing the bedroom door, clearing his throat rather loudly as he then turned to join Jackie back on the smaller couch.

Faith stood behind Buffy in the kitchen as she made enough omelettes for everyone and rubbed her back slowly, trying to ward off the embarrassment of their friends and family seeing what they had. She whispered to her that it was just as bad as being caught having sex and Faith just nodded, trying not to laugh, and told her it wasn't, that they'd all soon forget about it and that it'd be as if it hadn't even happened. Everything would have been okay and Buffy had begun to calm down, but Kennedy, being Kennedy, decided that some suggestive gestures were in order and made Buffy nearly run out of there in sheer embarrassment.

"B, just ignore her, ignore them," Faith whispered as she grappled to keep her by the stove.

"This is completely mortifying."

"Nah, baby," she said as she stepped closer to her red-faced lover, wrapping her up in her arms from behind as Buffy gradually gave up on trying to bolt from the room so quickly. "At least maybe now they'll figure out just why we wanna spend our weekends alone and won't be so fuckin' eager to bust in on us."

Buffy groaned as she pushed Faith away from her. "Just go over there and sit. Now, Faith."

"Whipped," Kennedy coughed as Faith walked over to the couch and sat down heavily next to the brash young slayer. "She's got you fucking whipped, Faith."

"Yeah, she does," she smiled as she looked over at Buffy for a moment and laughed when Buffy flipped her the finger. "Like I said before god knows how many times, I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Are there actual whips involved?" Satsu asked, quirking an eyebrow as Faith burst out laughing, feeling Buffy's anger and embarrassment even being so far away from her. "Because I think it would be rather hot if there are."

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Faith chuckled as she gave Satsu a wink and quickly wiped the smirk off her face as Buffy spun around and chucked a piece of toast at her. "Thanks, B! Was getting hungry."

"Fuck off, Faith."

"Love ya too, babe," she smirked, and everyone burst into laughter that brought those happy tears to their eyes. For a lot of reasons she wished that every day would be this way but she knew it would never be.


	38. Chapter 38

Faith sat on the big leather couch in the lobby of the apartment building as the first handful of girls arrived along with a Watcher by the name of Bryce Owen. He was far younger than Faith expected a Watcher to be—barely five years older than her, Buffy, and Xander if she was any judge. He introduced the three girls from England, four from Scotland and two from Spain, but Faith forgot their names almost the instant after Bryce did the introductions. He and Giles immediately went off to discuss things with Giles privately in the one bachelor apartment near the main door that he was slowly turning into his office.

Buffy was off with Xander and Dawn—where, exactly, Faith wasn't sure. She just sat on the couch with her feet propped up on the coffee table and her arms folded over her chest, Kennedy to her left mimicking her almost exactly. Neither of them said a word to the new girls and with the tall redhead it had become a staring war as she stood by the far wall and looked over at both of them. The other girls talked quietly to each other, but that girl had distanced herself and the anger could be seen like sparks of fire in her eyes. It reminded Faith all too much of the amount of anger she'd once had and to feel that Slayer strength on top of the deeply rooted anger really messed one up nice and good.

"What was her name again?" Kennedy asked, keeping her voice low as she turned to look at Faith.

"Fuck if I know," Faith laughed as she shrugged and leaned back further into the couch. "Ya heard what Giles said last night. There's gonna be close to a hundred girls showing up by the end of the week. The name thing can wait. It's just tough shit if anyone expects me to remember all those fuckin' names right off the bat."

"Why do I feel like I'm going to have a constant migraine living here?"

"Probably cos ya will. Just stock up on the booze. It'll take the edge off."

"Great, turning into a raging alcoholic to deal. _That's_ your plan?"

"Never said I was gonna. Buffy gets all bitchy if I have more than a few beers," Faith said and let out a sigh as she leaned forward and rested her arms over her knees. "Not like I mind. Fuck, I'd do anything for her and she knows it."

"You really love her, don't you?"

"Ain't even a question anymore."

"You two came back from that...place...completely different, you know that?"

"How so?"

"Just overall," Kennedy said as she absently waved her hand around, struggling to find a way to describe what she was trying to say. "I know you came back all super-Slayers and everything, but there is something else. Willow said something one night about it and now...now I can't remember a fucking word she said to me about it!"

"Breathe, Ken. No need to get all worked up over it. Not a big deal," Faith said calmly, offering a small smile as Kennedy breathed in and out deeply as she struggled to keep control of her emotions. "Y'know, I'm startin' to think all that barrier spell bullshit is just that—bullshit. It's somethin' else."

"What?" Kennedy asked, blinking as she tried to catch on to what Faith was talking about. "Where did this all come from?"

"Been thinkin'. Something fuckin' fishy is goin' on with Angel and I don't think everything he's told us is actually true. Don't know what else is goin' on either, but I'm sure as hell gonna figure it out before shit goes down."

Thinking was, in fact, nearly all she'd been doing the entire morning since she woke up to an empty bed and the sound of Buffy talking quietly on the phone to Angel. She didn't have to guess, she just _knew_. It bothered her too since Buffy didn't tell her what Angel had talked to her about and it wasn't like it had been a brief conversation either. Faith knew she'd been on the phone with him for hours. Something was seriously going on with him and for some reason he was trying to meddle in their lives and screw up the good thing she and Buffy had together. After that phone call, Xander and Dawn had shown up at the apartment and Buffy had taken off without so much a word to Faith other than she'd see her later.

They didn't get the chance to talk much more when Giles and Bryce walked back into the lounge and instructed the girls to come with them as they assigned three to an apartment, the redhead girl singled out for the time being. Giles motioned for Faith and Kennedy to tag along and they did without hesitation seeing how they really had nothing else better to do until patrol that night. Kennedy was bored out of her mind and she wasn't being quiet about it either, complaining about it every chance she got once Giles and Bryce were out of earshot. Faith ignored her for the most part, trying to look interested in showing the girls around the building. Perry had gotten the deed for Giles and it was now in his name. The only problem was a few of the tenants, but Giles said he was dealing with them and that they'd be out by the end of the month.

The amount of things that had happened in such a short while made Faith's head spin and as soon as the girls were settled in, she headed to her apartment and slammed the door loudly behind her. She let out a relieved sigh when she found Buffy lying on the couch flipping through a magazine, looking rather bored as she tossed the magazine to the floor. She smiled as Faith approached the couch and crawled from one end to the other, hovering over Buffy and leaning in to capture her lips in a soft kiss.

"How'd everything go this morning?" Buffy asked as she shifted and slipped off the couch leaving Faith lying there rather confused. "I take it that you've met Bryce?"

"Yeah. Everything went okay, I guess," she shrugged as she sat up and watched as Buffy walked over to the stereo and flipped it off. "How 'bout you, B? Where'd you go off to all morning?"

"Shopping," she said with a bright smile. "Lots and lots of shopping. I swear Xander was ready to kill me and Dawn when we wouldn't leave this one store."

"Oh?" Faith asked, amused at how excited Buffy got over such a tedious task such as shopping. "What's the damage, B?"

Buffy just shrugged, smiling coyly as she and Faith raced to the bedroom. She tried to stop her from going in, but Faith was too quick and slid past her as she opened the door. She burst out laughing at the amount of bags and clothes strewn throughout the room and she turned to look at Buffy as she stood in the doorway with her arms crossed over her chest and a pout forming over her lips.

"Think ya went a little overboard, B. Where the hell we gonna put all this?"

"Don't know," she shrugged, trying not to smile as Faith walked over to her and wrapped her arms tightly around her. "I saw a few things I thought you'd like so I picked them up for you. If you don't like them or if they don't fit, I can easily take them back."

"Don't know why anyone ever thought you're selfish, B."

"What?"

"Back in Sunnydale, people talked. Always called ya selfish and what not. So which one of these bags got my goodies in it?"

"Who said I was selfish?" Buffy asked, not budging from the door as Faith took it upon herself to go through the many bags strewn over the floor. "Faith?"

"Y'know, the girls stayin' at the house talked a lot at night. Ya definitely weren't their favourite person I can tell ya that much," she shrugged and picked up a big white paper bag and looked inside. "This one mine, B?"

She didn't bother to wait for Buffy to answer her, dumping the contents of the bag out on the bed. There were a few pairs of jeans and some tank tops, black and red, a few white. She let out a soft laugh as she turned to Buffy and raised an eyebrow at her.

"What?" Buffy asked, smiling as she walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. "I love when you wear those beaters. You look so sexy."

Faith whipped off the t-shirt she was wearing, then grabbed the white tank top off the top of the pile and pulled it on. It contrasted nicely with her now tanned skin and she spun around to look in the mirror, checking herself out thoroughly. She couldn't deny that she did look good, that she did look sexy, and she turned to look back at Buffy with a rather predatory smile creeping over her lips. She leaned down to kiss Buffy, who stopped her and pushed her back, instead holding up one of the pairs of jeans.

"What, now I'm supposed to put on some kinda fashion show for ya or somethin', B?"

"I just want to see that everything fits," she replied easily as Faith slid off the jean shorts she was wearing and pulled on the pair of jeans Buffy had tossed her way.

This went on for nearly half an hour, Buffy barely saying a word, but the appreciation in her eyes saying more than enough. Faith tried not to think about how weird Buffy was acting, not with her wanting to try on all the clothes she'd bought for her, but in the way that she'd push her away every time she'd try to kiss her. Faith tried to ignore those voices in her head that were telling her that whatever Buffy had talked about with Angel earlier was making her act this way. She kept on the black tank she'd put on last and changed back into her jean shorts, it being much too hot to wear anything else. Buffy was already up from the bed and trying to find a place for the mountains of clothes she'd bought.

Faith stopped her from walking out of the bedroom once she'd finished putting everything away and she stared into her eyes, trying to figure her out without even asking her what was wrong. Buffy didn't say anything and she gave her a quick kiss before she slipped out of her arms and walked out of the bedroom quickly. Faith groaned as she followed her, flopping down onto the couch and watching as Buffy padded around the kitchen trying to straighten it up a little bit. Faith knew her well enough now to know that something was definitely bothering her. She could see it just in the way she moved, the way she breathed, and the way she'd look at her when she finally allowed their eyes to meet from across the room.

Buffy came back over to the couch and sat down next to her, not giving her a chance to take another breath before she pulled her in for a deep kiss. Any prior thought that Buffy was acting off was gone and she chalked it up to restlessness on her part. Buffy pulled back from the kiss slowly, smiling as she moved to straddle Faith's legs. Faith knew all Buffy wanted to do was kiss her and let everything else on her mind to go away just for a little while. Faith was more than happy to oblige, pulling her in for another deep, passionate kiss as she too let everything in her mind disappear. It wasn't always about sex, but when Buffy kissed her like _that_, it was hard to keep her hands to herself.

"Are you hungry?" Buffy asked, almost breathless as she pulled back from the kiss.

"Ate pizza with Ken earlier."

"Oh, before I forget," Buffy said as she trailed her fingers up Faith's arms slowly, "Xander should be coming by soon. Giles had him get a few intercoms. He's going to put one in here."

"Sounds uh, convenient?"

"It's just so nobody has to physically come get us if we're needed."

"I know what an intercom is, B," Faith chuckled softy. "What's up with you today?"

"What do you mean?"

"What'd you and Angel talk about earlier?"

"I was trying to get some answers out of him about everything that had happened before with Julie, with the barrier spell and everything. Feels like we're missing something because it all..."

"Doesn't add up," Faith finished, nodding in agreement and relieved she wasn't alone feeling the way she had been before. "Whatcha think is goin' on?"

"I don't know."

"Well," Faith sighed as she looked up into Buffy's eyes. "We'll figure it out somehow, B."

"I'm sorry if I seem...off today. That phone call with Angel kind of...upset me."

"What did he say to you, B? Was he givin' you shit about being with me?" Faith asked and Buffy nodded her head a little. "Well fuck what he thinks, B. I don't get it. When he came around that first time he didn't seem to have much of a problem with it. I'm thinkin' he's jealous cos you and I have what you two never could before."

"That's exactly what Dawn said earlier when we were out. She told me he's just jealous of you and that he isn't handling our relationship so well," she said, laughinga softly as she reached up and tucked Faith's hair behind her ears. "He's never been able to handle me being with anyone else too well."

"Nah, and ya can't blame him either. To tell ya the truth, I can't handle you being with anyone else either. Never could. Maybe it's one of the reasons why I fucked everything up before."

"I..."

"Knock, knock," Xander said as he slowly opened the apartment door, not yet opening it enough to see the two of them on the couch. "Everyone decent?"

"Come in, Xander," Buffy said, slipping off of Faith's lap after planting a soft, loving kiss on her lips.

He opened the door some more and walked in carrying his toolbox, which he instantly set down on the floor. He smiled over at both of them as he kicked the door shut behind him. The door had barely been shut for half a second before it flung open again and Kennedy just took it upon herself to come in. In spite of the irritation Faith could see in Buffy's eyes, the blonde still forced a smile over at Kennedy as the junior slayer sat down on the other end of the couch. Faith let out a soft sigh, knowing the interruptions were likely to make for one hell of a long afternoon when all she wanted to do was talk to Buffy and try to figure everything out.

* * *

Their concerns about Angel were brought up before they went out on patrol. It had been Buffy who practically dragged Faith down to the lobby where Giles and Bryce were sitting discussing plans for how to handle the rest of the Slayers that would be showing up over the next week or two. It didn't surprise Faith at all to know that Giles had his doubts about the 'information' Angel had given them before. He suspected there was more to Angel than good intentions and informed them that he'd already been looking into some of the answers Angel had provided about Julie, her family, and the Hellmouth barrier spell. He was also trying to find more information as to why they both had come back from that other dimension stronger than ever before.

All they wanted was answers—real answers—and now that they all suspected they couldn't trust Angel they were right back at square one. The two of them went off on patrol by themselves and even though they knew they should have separated, they stayed together and headed for the closest cemetery hand in hand. The sun was about to set and they had a good half an hour before any vampires would dare show their faces. Faith led the way through the cemetery and came to a stop near one of the many benches haphazardly placed along the pathway and sat down.

"Can ya believe this?" Faith asked, finally breaking the silence that had been between them since they'd left the building. "Of all fuckin' people, you'd think we could trust Angel."

"You'd think so," Buffy said softly as she sat down next to her and pulled her stake out from the back of her jeans. "Then again, he's got a lot going on down in LA. He doesn't talk about it at all, but...you know there is stuff going on that he's trying to deal with."

"But why pull shit with us? Cos he can?"

"Wish I knew. He does keep telling me that what I feel for you isn't real. I know it is and yet..."

"Don't fuckin' listen to him, B. Y'know what I think? I think this whole deal with the effects from the barrier spell is a truckload of bullshit. He knew somethin' was happening between us and he just couldn't fuckin' stand the thought of it. Angel is a good guy, gotta hand him that, but he ain't been himself lately. I picked up on it the last time he was here."

"I think something is happening to his soul," Buffy said quietly as she stared down at the stake in her hands. "Willow and I talked about it once before, about what would happen if he turned into Angelus again. She told me she had plenty of reason to believe that nobody, not even her, would be able to restore his soul if he ever lost it again."

"Ya think he's been Angelus this whole time and been playin' us? Cos I'm seriously startin' to wonder if I'm right about that."

"Since when?"

"Since I started thinkin' 'bout it this morning."

"After you heard me talking to him," Buffy said flatly, shaking her head as she stood up from the bench. "What if we're right? What if he is Angelus? Angel wouldn't want to be left that way if there's no hope for anyone to restore his soul."

"Let's not jump to any conclusions just yet, B. Giles is on it and with his new best buddy I'm sure they'll dig up some answers soon enough."

"I'm starting to think he was working with Julie and her family," Buffy said quietly as she started pacing in front of Faith. "Why, I don't know, but I got that feeling before and just shrugged it off to being a little...scared of what could really happen to all of us with someone like Julie around."

"You were scared of her, B?"

Faith knew for a Slayer to admit that kind of weakness, admit to being afraid of someone or something, was a hard thing to acknowledge even just in their own mind. She also didn't want to force Buffy to talk about it, to voice her opinions on the whole thing if she wasn't sure about them herself. She watched the blonde as she paced the ground in front of her, spinning her stake in her hands as she breathed in and out deeply.

"You know why I was scared of her? Because she was unpredictable, not to mention completely crazy too. I know we can't always be lucky and win at the end of each battle, no matter how big or small it really is. The thing with Julie...it opened my eyes and showed me that no matter _what_ we all do, the world is never going to be safe for more than a day at a time."

"What do you think we should do about that then, B? Give up?"

The hopelessness in Buffy's eyes broke her heart and she stood up and quickly wrapped her arms around her before Buffy could say another word. She knew that life was shit at times and that the life of a Slayer had more than its fair share of that shit and was far from normal. She had been trying her best to live her life as normal as she could and give Buffy a little taste of it too. Nobody else but the two of them knew just how hard it was. The new Slayers didn't know and they probably never would now that there were hundreds, if not thousands of them all over the world. It started to sink in what Buffy was reaching for and she wanted it too. She wanted to run from her life as Buffy wanted to run from her own, even if it was just for a little while.

She kept her eyes and ears open for any vampires who were waiting for the second the sun set to come creeping out of whatever shadows and corners they were hiding in and she just held onto Buffy, conveying as much understanding as she could with the silence they shared between them. Just like in other small moments like this, Faith was starting to understand more and more what it meant to be in a relationship and what it meant to love and be loved. It meant never having to deal with things on your own, at least not completely. It meant being there for the other person in any way you could even if it meant just holding them to make them feel safe and not alone.

"We should..." Buffy said as she backed up from Faith but didn't drop her arms from around her.

"Yeah, gettin' dark. Don't wanna be standing here lookin' like prey now, do we?"

"No, definitely not," Buffy said as she let out a short, sharp laugh and finally stepped away from Faith completely. "Tell you what; if it's fairly quiet tonight, we'll head home early or..."

"Or?"

"Or we can find a club and go dancing for a couple of hours. We haven't...not since..."

"Sounds good to me, B. Gotta let loose and find the fun sometimes."

"Yeah," Buffy smiled, the tense uncertainty and hopelessness fading from her eyes as Faith smiled right back at her. "Come on, let's go find something to kill."

"Like the way ya think sometimes, girlfriend," Faith chuckled as she followed Buffy deeper into the cemetery, the Slayer inside her coming alive as she felt those first faint tingles deep inside indicating there were vampires nearby.

They walked throughout the cemetery for a couple hours, not once coming across a vampire or even a demon. The disappointment was felt in both of them and they finally gave up, stopping by the apartment to quickly change their clothes into something more suitable for a club. They ran into Kennedy, Satsu and Carmen on the way down the stairs and from the look they all shared, they all planned to do the same thing. Faith knew there was a club close by and after avoiding anyone else on the way out of the building, they headed down the street and around the corner to a club that was rather crowded for a Monday night.

Faith ushered them all to the front of the line, slipping the bouncer a twenty after flashing a flirty smile his way. He let them right in, the groans and protests coming from the crowd following them as they walked inside. She kept a hold of Buffy's hand as she led them through the crowd inside, manoeuvring her way to the bar at the far end of the club. She instantly had the bartender's attention and ordered them a round of shots and a pitcher of beer with five glasses. Carmen was already kicking a group of college guys out of a booth furthest away from the dance floor and the rest of them joined her, taking a seat around the small table as Faith, Kennedy, and Satsu juggled the full shot glasses.

"Now _this_ is more like it!" Carmen laughed as she set the pitcher of beer and the glasses down on the table. "Anyone else up for ditching patrol to do this every night?"

"I don't think my liver could handle doing this every night," Satsu laughed as she wedged her way onto the seat next to Buffy. "Aren't you going to drink that, Buffy?"

Satsu pointed to the shot glass that had been placed in front of her, the only one on the table that still hadn't been touched. Buffy shrugged and picked it up, downing it as quickly as she could and forcing a smile as she slammed the glass onto the table.

"I think I'll just stick with beer for the rest of the night," Buffy said quietly so only Faith managed to hear her. "Hard liquor and me, especially whiskey, do not mix very well."

"Just ain't used to it, is all," Faith said, smiling as she slipped an arm around Buffy and pulled her out of the booth, heading straight for the dance floor without another word.

She was trying her best to take her mind, and Buffy's, off of everything else and only trying to enjoy themselves and let loose for a little while. She led her to the middle of the crowded dance floor, snaking her arms around Buffy's waist as she began to move to the fast beat of the club music that blared loudly, the bass floating through both their bodies like a second pulse. This was definitely the one thing she loved to do more than anything else—to dance, to get lost in the music, to feel the adrenaline pumping through her veins as she moved effortlessly with and against whatever warm body that she found near her. And in this case, it was Buffy and would only be Buffy all night long. This was her woman, her girlfriend, her lover, partner, friend and she'd be damned if she let anyone get too close to her.

Buffy seemed free and without a care in the world as she danced against Faith, nearly grinding her hips against Faith's as she pulled them closer together. The tempo of the music slowed and it was only then that Buffy opened her eyes, looking at Faith almost as if she was surprised she'd gotten so lost in the music and in her. Faith didn't hold back, leaning in to kiss her, half expecting Buffy to push her away since she knew she wasn't all that comfortable with the PDA in front of so many people—strangers really. Buffy surprised her, sliding her hands to the back of her neck and pulling her in for a much deeper and more passionate kiss as she pressed her body as close to Faith as she could manage without sending them tumbling over and down to the floor.

Faith broke apart and looked over at Kennedy and Satsu as they danced a couple feet away, barely visible because of the few bodies in the way but still obviously having their tongues shoved down each other's throats. Buffy leaned into Faith, trying to figure out what she was staring at, but the crowd of dancers moved and the two junior slayers had disappeared. She laughed as she turned back to Faith and pulled her back in for another kiss. It left her slightly dazed when Buffy pulled away suddenly and dragged her back over to the booth where Carmen sat watching Kennedy and Satsu still out on the dance floor together. As soon as they had sat down, however, Carmen was up and walking to the bar, clearly pissed at what was going on between the other two Slayers.

Buffy said nothing as she reached for the glass of beer in front of her. Maybe it was the atmosphere of the club, but as Buffy leaned back into her and let out a content sigh, Faith knew she'd never felt her so relaxed—with the possible exception of those early mornings they'd spent in bed, still awake as the sun rose and light began to fill the bedroom. But that all faded as soon as Buffy spotted Kennedy and Satsu out on the dance floor.

"What the hell is she doing?" Buffy asked as she turned to Faith. "What a skank."

"B..."

"You're siding with _her_?"

"Not siding with either of 'em, just saying," Faith shrugged as she took a small sip of her beer, "everyone deals with grief and guilt in their own way."

"By making out with the girl she cheated on Willow with in the middle of a club?"

"Just don't worry about it, B. We're here to have a good time, that's all," Faith said, hoping Buffy would just drop it and enjoy their night out. "Y'know," she laughed as it finally dawned on her. "B? This is pretty much a date even though we're here with them."

"Took you long enough to figure that out," Buffy laughed and she kissed her lightly on the lips, winking as she pulled away and settled back down against her side. "You feel that?"

"Vamps. Lots of 'em," Faith said with a smile, feeling that tingle over the heavy bass. "Wanna grab the others, check it out?"

Faith motioned to the back room where a handful of people—likely vampires—disappeared behind a door marked 'private'. Buffy went off in search of Carmen and Faith walked over to Kennedy and Satsu, smirking as she tapped them both on the shoulder.

"If you two are done suckin' face, we got some vamps here."

"Now?" Kennedy asked, looking around the crowd. "Where?"

"Now would be a good time to teach them how to rely on their senses and instinct," Buffy said as she walked up behind them with Carmen in tow.

"You've got to be kidding me," Kennedy groaned as she followed Buffy and Faith through the crowd, Carmen and Satsu falling behind and arguing with one another.

Faith tried the door as soon as she approached it, finding it locked. With a little bit of force, she broke it open and the five of them slipped inside and quickly shut it behind them. They were in a hallway with doors lining each wall, all presumably locked as well. Faith was about to head down the hallway when Buffy stopped her. She stayed back and watched the others as they walked casually down to the last door on the left. They watched as Kennedy grabbed the wooden table at the end of the hallway, smashing the legs and grabbing one, tossing the other two a piece for themselves before they forced open the door.

"They can handle themselves," Buffy said pointedly, re-opening the door back into the club as the sounds of fighting drifted faintly from the room down the hallway. She pulled Faith back out into the heart of the club, smirking as she looked back over at her.

"Shouldn't we stick around and—"

"We're not always going to be there for them. They have to learn how to take care of things on their own. Isn't that the whole point of what Giles is trying to do anyway?"

"I know what you're trying to do, B. You're trying to make it so we get some time without them around, really make this feel like a date."

"Maybe...or could be," Buffy laughed as she leaned in to Faith to whisper into her ear, "that I just want to dance."

Buffy pulled her across to the far corner of the dance floor, both of them instantly finding themselves lost within the music yet again. Faith couldn't relax until she saw Kennedy walk out of the door marked 'private' with Satsu and Carmen close behind her. They could handle themselves, she knew they could, but she couldn't help but worry just a _little_ bit about them anyway. Although it was more Kennedy than the other two she worried about, it wasn't the point. They were just as much a part of the family as she was. She recalled the speech Satsu went on with the second night the others had been in California. She'd talked about looking out for each other despite whatever was going on in their lives. Slaying first, real life bullshit and everything else came second.

Pushing aside all thoughts, all worries, all emotions except for the one she felt floating through her like liquid fire, she once again got lost in the moment, in the atmosphere of the club, and in Buffy.

* * *

It was four in the morning before the five of them trudged back to the house, exhausted from a night of dancing and light drinking and then a quick patrol before they had finally headed back to the apartment. Satsu stopped them as they began to walk past the lobby, pointing to Giles—asleep in one of the chairs with a book lying open on his chest and his glasses dangling from one hand—and then over to Bryce, who sat on the couch in almost the exact same position, minus the glasses. They all tried not to laugh as they hurried down the hallway and ran up the stairs.

Once they were in the apartment, Buffy went straight to the bedroom and immediately collapsed on the bed. The exhaustion from long hours of dancing had been compounded by dusting a handful of newbie vampires a few blocks away behind a pawnshop. Faith could barely keep her eyes open long enough to strip out of her clothes and she watched with heavy-lidded, tired eyes as Buffy barely managed to wiggle out of her own clothes while still lying on the bed. Faith kept her eyes open until Buffy moved to lie next to her, pulling her left arm so it was wrapped loosely around her. She didn't even need to see Buffy's face to know that Buffy fell asleep with a slight smile on her lips, just as she knew she did too.

She woke a few hours later to the muffled sounds of footsteps out in the hallway. She shifted a little, careful not to wake Buffy as she glanced at the clock sitting on the bedside table. Barely after ten in the morning and definitely not near as much sleep as her body was aching for. She pulled the covers completely over her and Buffy, smiling when Buffy let out a quiet giggle as she laid a few light kisses over her neck and collarbone. Faith knew right then that gone were those quiet mornings and long hours of uninterrupted alone time together. The training deal with the younger Slayers that Giles had going was definitely serious and she knew from the second that soft, frustrated sigh escaped from Buffy's lips, that the reality of it all was really beginning to sink in.

"What time is it?" Buffy mumbled sleepily as she shifted in Faith's arms, trying to get comfortable once again. "It's too early, isn't it?"

"Just after ten. Definitely way too fuckin' early."

"Got two dozen girls coming in today," Buffy said as she pulled the covers down from over their heads and squinted in the bright morning sunlight. "You up for this, Faith?"

"Ain't like I got much of a choice," she shrugged and kept her eyes closed as she heard a faint crash in the apartment above. "Think we could find a way to get one of the apartments on the top floor and away from everyone else? Not fuckin' liking this noise down here."

"Grumpy this morning, are we?" Buffy asked, a teasing smile playing across her lips as Faith opened her eyes and turned to look at her. "Let's just...sleep some more and figure out what to do about all this noise later."

"Suddenly not feelin' so tired anymore," Faith said after a moment as she focused solely on the feel of Buffy's fingers lightly trailing over her bare stomach. They both nearly jumped out of bed at the loud buzz coming from the living room. "What the fuck is that?"

"The intercom?" Buffy shrugged as she stayed in bed, watching as Faith strode out of the bedroom naked and stood by the intercom Xander had installed. "I think you press the talk button, Faith," Buffy called out when the buzzer rang again.

"Yo?" Faith said as she held the small green button with the word 'talk' barely visible above it.

"Sorry for the wakeup call," Xander said apologetically, his voice a little faint, but clear. "Since Giles can't figure this system out, he's got me acting as the messenger," Xander laughed before he cleared his throat and continued, "We're having a meeting as soon as possible. Wake Buffy up and meet us downstairs."

"See ya in ten, Xand."

Faith looked over the panel and found the end button when she heard nothing but static after she heard a slight click. She padded back to the bedroom and crawled back under the covers next to Buffy. She laid on her stomach and buried her face into the pillow, letting out a deep breath as Buffy ran her hands down the length of her back.

"We should get down there, see what's going on," Buffy said quietly, moving to get out of bed only to be stopped by Faith as she blindly reached out for her hand. "Faith, you told him ten minutes."

"Never said minutes. For all Xand knows 'see ya in ten' could mean minutes or hours. Personally, I prefer hours."

"Lazy ass."

Faith chuckled softly as she lifted her head and delivered a sweet kiss she knew would sway Buffy to stay right there with her for a little while longer. Even though she was slightly disappointed when Buffy still pulled away and slipped out of bed, she couldn't hold back the smile as she watched her grab some clean clothes and make her way out of the bedroom. A minute later she heard the shower running and she jumped out of bed and quickly made her way into the bathroom to join her.

They wouldn't make it down in ten minutes and Faith knew someone would buzz them over the intercom or show up at the door when they didn't. But as she stepped into the shower stall and wrapped her arms around Buffy from behind, feeling her melt into her as she trailed her lips in soft kisses over Buffy's shoulder, she really didn't care.

Always getting lost in those moments—moments she'd never had and moments she always wished before that she did. And Robin's words, words she hadn't thought of in what felt like a long time, came fluttering back to her mind as she closed her eyes and revelled in the feel of Buffy against her under the hot spray of the water.

"_Not everyone is going to screw you over in the end, Faith. You need to have a little bit of faith in others if you want to know what it's like to fall in love. Let me have that chance. I promise you in the end it'll be worth it. We all make mistakes and we all push others away, but that's what makes us human. All too human."_

It hadn't been him she'd given that chance to, but that didn't matter. He had been right all along. The impact of that conversation they had on the bus, in the hours before he took his last breath, would forever stick with her even if she didn't always think about it. If it hadn't been for him, she never would have had that push to find a bit of courage to open up her heart. And if she never opened up her heart, she would definitely not be where she was right now and she wouldn't know what it felt like to be loved by someone like Buffy Summers.

So she thought about Robin, a man who had barely been in her life as time was measured yet had such a significant impact on it. And she wished that there was some way to thank him for opening her eyes and her heart to the world around her. And she hoped that maybe, wherever his soul was, he could somehow feel and know her gratitude. And then she let the moment take her over, thinking of nothing else but the woman in her arms.


	39. Chapter 39

They were forty-five minutes late to the impromptu meeting Giles had called that morning and yet nobody said a word regarding their lateness, much to the surprise of the two senior slayers. Everybody seemed to be in a good mood, smiling and carefree—something all too rare since Willow's death. It had only been just over a week since they had lost her. Nobody talked about it, or about her, and even Faith felt that something was wrong with that. Some hours it felt it had just happened, the grief almost crushing. In other hours the grief would recede and allow them, like now, to smile and behave almost normally. The smiles faded, however, when Giles brought some information to light about Angel.

"While you were all out last night I had an interesting conversation with Wesley," Giles started and he shifted in his chair and placed his cup of tea on the table next to him. "It seems that Angel isn't entirely Angel any more. We've come to the conclusion that when Willow restored Angel's soul the last time it was not properly anchored."

"What does that mean?" Buffy asked as she idly stroked her fingers over Faith's jean-clad knee. "He's Angelus again?"

"He's both Angel and Angelus. While he doesn't have any control over the shifts in his persona, Wesley and I both believe he's Angelus more than he's himself."

"I fuckin' knew somethin' wasn't right," Faith muttered under her breath. "So what then, Giles, is Angelus the big bad we gotta worry about now?"

The colour drained completely from Buffy's face as the realization began to sink in. Faith just placed her hand over Buffy's and gave it a gentle squeeze as the room fell into complete silence, nobody believing such a thing was possible, but at the same time everyone knew that something hadn't been quite right with Angel since the first time he'd shown up in Cleveland. Xander was muttering to himself as he paced around the room, occasionally stopping to run his hand over his head before continuing.

"We must not let Angelus become aware that we know what is happening," Giles said, breaking the heavy silence in the room, "and that means we cannot risk telling the Angel persona either. If it comes down to it, Buffy, Faith," he said as he looked over at them, "one of you will have to end this."

"You want one of us to kill Angel?" Buffy asked, her voice choked with emotion as she pushed Faith's hand off of hers. "You can't...ask us to do something like that, Giles!"

"Sure he can, B," Faith said calmly. "Think about it for a sec here. Angel wouldn't want this."

"You don't know what he'd want."

"Faith is right," Xander said as he stopped pacing. "Angel wouldn't want this, Buff. If Angelus has found a way to take him over even with his soul present, there's no telling what'll happen or how bad it will really get."

"What else do you know?" Buffy asked Giles, ignoring Xander completely as she took Faith's hand back in her own.

"We know that the things he has told us about Julie, her family, even about the Hellmouth haven't been entirely true. I do realize we had our suspicions that what he told us was not entirely accurate, but Angelus has complicated things by mixing truth amongst the falsehood and we still don't know precisely which pieces of information were untrue," Giles replied rather calmly. "Wesley has informed me he has sound facts that prove Angelus was working with Julie. It is how Julie and her family knew so much about you two, about all of us."

"It's all just a game, ain't it?" Faith asked him, shaking her head with disbelief. "It's all just a fucked up head game designed to do what...make our lives hell and eventually turn as all against each other? Look," she sighed as she leaned forward, keeping a tight grip on Buffy's hand, "I was inside of Angel's head, inside his memories, and I know what kind of sick fuck Angelus can be, but even then that was nothing compared to what I _know_ he is, what he's capable of. I say we go down to LA and stake his undead ass 'fore he has a chance to do anything to any of us."

"No," Buffy said firmly. "We're not going to go down there and 'stake his undead ass', Faith."

"No? What the fuck else are we s'posed to do then, B?"

"We wait. We see what Angelus is trying to do and we find a way to fix it. We're _not_ killing Angel."

"But—"

"No, Faith," Buffy said sharply. "I told you. We are not killing Angel. This isn't even going to be a discussion! Even as Angelus, he is _not_ a threat to us. Not right now. So we're going to figure out a way to deal with it and fix it. Killing him is not going to solve anything."

"And if we can't _fix_ it, B? What then?" Faith asked, her anger getting the better of her seeing Buffy acting this way. "We're just gonna let him fuckin' play us in the meantime? Is that your fucking plan?"

"For now."

"Buffy, I do not think it is wise to be—"

"Giles, shut up. You are not in charge here!"

"Neither are you," Dawn spat out, tears welling in her eyes as Buffy glared over at her. "Nobody is in charge here, Buffy. You being in charge ended back in Sunnydale. We are all supposed to be working together here, not following _your_ orders."

Buffy was shaking with anger and Faith grabbed her before she could go after Dawn. Faith wasn't sure what had gotten into Buffy, but she knew that talking about Angel, especially if he was Angelus, was a very touchy subject with her. This all felt like the beginning of a storm Faith wasn't so sure they'd all pull through in one piece. She let Buffy go and watched her walk out of there somewhat calmly. She was upset and it wasn't the first time Faith seen little changes in her. The deal with Angel/Angelus and whatever he'd said to her the other morning on the phone was really getting to her.

"Got your smokes on you?" Faith asked Kennedy as she stood up. Kennedy nodded and followed her out the main doors. "Thanks."

"You don't actually want one, do you?" Kennedy said as she offered her the pack and Faith refused.

"No. Just couldn't stand sitting in there any longer."

"Buffy's really upset."

"No shit," Faith said under her breath as she leaned against the brick wall.

"She's going through a rough time with Willow..." Kennedy said softly and she quickly wiped away her tears. "Dawn told me what it was like while they were in California. She didn't tell you anything, did she?"

"No."

"Best I don't say anything then," Kennedy said quietly as she pulled out a cigarette from the pack and lit it quickly. "I think the only thing we can do is kill him."

"Buffy killed him once. Not so sure she'd do it again."

"Then you know what you have to do, Faith."

"Yeah. I know. Tryin' to figure out how without making Buffy completely hate me for it."

"Right," Kennedy drawled, voice positively dripping with sarcasm, "because _that's_ the big huge worry you've got if Angelus turns out to be a much bigger threat than he already is. Buffy loves _you_, you idiot."

Faith chuckled at Kennedy using her words against her. "Still, Buffy and Angel got this history behind them that barely touches ours and I know that she still loves him. Ain't nothin' ever gonna change that."

"And you're okay with that?"

"Not okay with it, but I get it," she sighed, then grabbed the cigarette from Kennedy's hand so quickly she didn't even realize Faith had taken it at first. "Really could use a break from all of this."

"I think we all need a break. Try telling that to Giles, though. He's a lot more focused on getting all these new Slayers trained and set up around the world than on giving us all a chance to take a little vacation."

"Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do, Ken. Life doesn't have any free vacation time. Learned that a long time ago. The only vacation I got from the outside world was when I was in prison."

She knew this was the most she'd opened up to Kennedy so easily, but with her emotions charged up because of the way Buffy had reacted inside, she couldn't help herself. Kennedy understood her, to a point. She never pressed Faith to say more than she felt comfortable talking about. Kennedy was going through a lot herself, they all were, and they were all dealing with everything that had happened in the last two months in their own way. It wasn't always the _right_ way, but everyone made mistakes and didn't always learn from them.

"I should go see if Buffy..." Faith sighed as she finished the cigarette quickly. "She's probably cooled off enough by now and calmed down a little. Last thing I need is for her fist to connect to my jaw and for them to form their own little relationship."

"Yeah. Might be a good idea to keep your distance though," Kennedy laughed as she shook her head. "Sometimes I wonder what you see in her. What _do_ you see in her anyway?"

"It's Buffy. Can't explain it any better than that."

"Oh, this is like a whole connection thing, isn't it?"

"Slayer and otherwise," Faith replied and she flicked the cigarette to the street and headed for the main door. "Think you and Sats could cover for me and B on patrol tonight? Got a funny feelin' she ain't gonna be down for goin' out tonight."

"Sure."

"Thanks, Ken."

Kennedy just flashed an easy smile her way as Faith opened the door and headed straight down the hallway. She passed by the lounge quickly, casting a glance to see if Buffy had come back down and only saw Giles, Bryce and Dawn quietly talking to one another. She nearly ran up the five flights of stairs and down to apartment 5D, not stopping even when she heard Xander and Buffy talking inside the apartment. She walked right in, not caring that she'd walked in on what sounded like it might have been a rather private conversation between the two of them.

"We'll talk later," Xander said as he looked over at Faith, forcing a smile as he began to quickly make his way to the door. "You down for some takeout later? Before you two head out on patrol?"

"Sure," Faith replied and she sent him a look that made him leave just that much quicker. She locked the door as soon as it shut behind him and then tentatively approached Buffy on the couch. "How ya feelin' about this whole sitch, B?"

"I really don't know, Faith. I knew something was wrong. I should have said something before and maybe we could've...maybe Will would still be...and..."

Faith had her arms around her as soon as the tears had formed in her eyes. Faith couldn't say anything and she couldn't do anything other than hold Buffy in her arms while she cried. It was as if the floodgates had been completely destroyed and she had never seen Buffy this vulnerable before. It almost scared her to see Buffy like this, feeling so weak, so helpless, so lost. She knew the feeling all too well, but the pain was deeper for Buffy. It'd be a long time before she got over Willow's death and the events that led up to it. Faith knew that the word about Angel being Angelus had broke open those floodgates and everything else just poured out with it.

"Buffy," she said softly, pulling her more onto her lap and holding her a little tighter. "B?"

"Mm?"

"You do know what I have to do, right?"

"I know," she sobbed as she clutched on to the front of Faith's shirt, stretching it as the material balled up in her fists. "Why do you think I'm so upset, Faith? I know _I_ can't kill him, not even if he's Angelus. I can't...I can't do it again..."

"So what was with that whole scene downstairs?"

Buffy shrugged and let out a sharp laugh as she choked back the tears. "That was me overreacting. I tend to do that a lot, don't I? At least that's what Xander told me."

"You're okay now, right?"

"Working on it," Buffy sighed out. She then inhaled deeply before leaning in to plant a soft kiss on Faith's neck. "Have you been smoking again?"

"Yeah, kinda needed one after Giles dropped that bomb on us like that."

"I like the way you smell when you don't smoke," Buffy uttered quietly and Faith laughed as she lifted the blonde's chin so she'd look up at her. "What? I do. Besides, you promised me when we were..._there_ that you wouldn't smoke anymore."

"Sorry."

It was a lame, half-assed apology and she fully expected Buffy to get angry and lash out at her over it too. It never happened and all Buffy did was let go of Faith's shirt and try to smooth it out, letting out a small, quiet laugh when she realized she'd pretty much ruined it. Faith didn't let go of her and she shifted until she was able to lie down on the couch with Buffy still in her arms. The cuddling thing came as second nature to her now whenever she was this close to Buffy. She really loved the feel of her in her arms, the feel of her warm breath blowing across her neck, the feel of her chest rising with each breath and her heart beating nearly in time to her own.

Her mind was more focused on Angel being Angelus again. She wanted to know more about how that was possible. It hadn't even been that long since the last time Angel had lost his soul, but from what they knew he still _had_ his soul and Angelus had still somehow found a way to take control even with said soul in place. She was realizing that the few times she'd talked to him in the last couple of months, she'd talked to Angelus more than she had to Angel. It was all starting to make a lot more sense now with the things he had said, how his 'information' always seemed to change in the littlest of ways, and his two-sided opinion on her and Buffy's relationship.

There was never one reason why Angelus did the things he did or why he played the games he did. It was just the way he played the game and got his kicks—by tearing apart the people closest to Angel, piece by piece, one thread of sanity at a time. He'd been trying to convince both of them that what they felt for each other wasn't real. Faith knew that was a crock of shit right from the second he'd told her that. She'd _always_ had deep, strong feelings for Buffy and the only difference was that now she no longer fought them or feared them. She hadn't since shortly after that first kiss.

Angelus was no match against her, or even Buffy, not with the power and the strength that they still possessed since Willow pulled them out of that world between worlds. Faith knew she could take him without much of a fight and if the opportunity arose, she'd do it without hesitation. She'd do it despite however Buffy would feel in the end. What other choice did she have? None, really—hoping for the best and hoping that Angelus would stay out of their lives really wasn't an option.

"God, I'm so tired right now," Buffy said softly as she stifled a yawn. "I could seriously use a nap right now."

"What's stoppin' ya?"

"We need to figure everything out."

"And we will, B. Betcha Giles and Bryce are down there figurin' it out with Dawn. They find anything we can use then they'll let us know. We're Slayers, B. I forbid us to do any form of research unless it involves you and me, in bed, naked..."

"Are you ever _not_ horny?"

"Not that I ever remember, no. And I ain't never heard you complain 'bout it either."

"No," Buffy chuckled as she moved to lie more fully on top of Faith. "How could I complain when it's just...amazing when we're together?"

"I got mad skills, yo."

Buffy laughed again, kissing her softly as she straddled her hips. "Yes, you do."

"Can I ask you somethin', B?" Faith asked in all seriousness as Buffy sat back slowly. "If I do gotta take Angel out, it ain't gonna change anything between us, is it?"

"I don't know."

"I don't want it to change anything between us," she said softly. "Come too far to go back to square one now."

"I know how far we've come, Faith. After Angel, I couldn't fall in love with anyone else. I never thought it would be _possible_ for me to fall in love with anyone else, much less you. Feelings like this just don't go away because of things that happen in our lives. Our lives are so far from normal and I've got to learn to accept that I will never have a normal life, not even if I ran from it."

"So, ya thought about runnin' from your life, B?"

"Every day," she admitted easily. "You do too, don't you?"

"No. Despite all this shit, B, I'm the happiest I've ever been and a lot of that has to do with you. I wouldn't want a single fuckin' thing in my life to change."

"Not one thing?"

"Would like to be able to go more than a month without some kind of apocalypse deal about to fall into our laps," she said with a laugh, knowing how much Buffy wanted the same thing too. She'd said it enough in the last two months. "But all this right here and now, B? Even with this training school shit Giles has goin', I wouldn't wanna be anywhere else but here. With you. With everyone else. Feels like I belong here and for once I'm gonna stay right where I belong."

"You do belong here," Buffy whispered as she leaned forward, her lips just brushing against Faith's lightly as she took in a deep breath. "And you belong with me."

"For as long as you'll have me, I'll be here with ya, B."

"Then don't kill Angel," she said, planting a brief kiss on her lips before she slipped off of her and headed for the door.

Faith laid there, unable to keep a single thought straight in her mind. Buffy having a complex in the way that she was, it was throwing her for a loop. She stayed there alone in the apartment for a little while longer before she got up and headed back down to the lobby where she knew she'd find Giles. She only hoped that Buffy had gone off somewhere else because of the things she was going to ask him. She was going to go down to LA as soon as possible and she was going to find Angel and kill him.

And she knew it was the right thing to do despite the consequences that would follow.

* * *

Faith was sitting alone on the balcony sipping a beer and watching as the last bits of light faded from the sky. Buffy and Dawn were sitting inside on the couch watching a movie and talking quietly. Faith couldn't stand sitting there with the two of them, which had led her to grab a beer out of the fridge and come outside. She was thinking mostly about what she had talked to Giles about, about the possibility of going down to LA by the end of the week to take out Angelus before things got out of hand and before he tried to meddle into their lives once again.

Thinking of it brought back those old memories of fantasies she'd had when she first found out about Angel back in Sunnydale. She was a Slayer, he was a vampire, and she'd wanted nothing more than to stake him. Why, was the question she kept asking herself, why didn't she just do it then? She knew if she had, she wouldn't be where she was now. In some ways, Angel was her saviour and he had helped her start out on her path to redemption without hesitating for a second to help her. She wouldn't be the person she was now if he hadn't started her on that path and made her feel as if it wasn't completely hopeless, to not give up on herself and the rest of the world.

"Hey," Kennedy said as she stepped out onto the balcony with two fresh bottles of beer in her hands. "Figured you'd need another. Buffy said you'd been out here for an hour already. You didn't want to be left alone, did you?"

"Just been thinkin' is all," Faith replied and took the offered beer from Kennedy. "Everything is so royally fucked up right now that I'm half expectin' the whole world to break apart any second."

"Don't jinx it," Kennedy chuckled as she stood next to Faith and leaned against the railing. "I wish that Willow was still here. At least some things made a little more sense with her around."

"Yeah," Faith said, turning to Kennedy as she raised an eyebrow. "Weren't you supposed to be out on patrol tonight?"

"Carmen and Satsu are out there with Amber. Didn't feel like going myself. Nobody else knows what is going on with Angel but us. Thinking maybe that's not a good idea and that everyone here needs to know exactly what kind of situation they've walked into."

"I'm takin' care of it. Giles is gonna get me to LA by the end of the week."

"Seriously? And you're just going to what, go down there and take Angelus out by yourself?"

"Ain't got no other choice, Ken. Buffy doesn't know I'm plannin' to go down so soon either, so try to keep this sitch on the down low," Faith said quietly. She looked back through the window at Buffy and Dawn still sitting on the couch and still talking rather than actually watching the movie that was playing on the TV. "I'm gonna lose her either way, Ken. Best it happens after I do the right thing."

"But she loves you. You aren't going to lose her, Faith."

"She might love me, but she still loves Angel too. She doesn't want me to kill him, a part of me doesn't want to either, and yet I don't have a choice. It's the right thing to do. Has to be."

"Well, I'm behind you with whatever you decide to do, Faith. If you think it's the right thing to do, then it's the right thing to do."

"Thanks, Ken."

"You aren't going to tell Buffy what you plan to do either, are you?"

"No," Faith replied with a shake of her head as she turned to look at her. "And you ain't gonna say a word to her or anyone else either. Only you, Giles, and Bryce know what's bein' planned and that's the way it's gonna stay until I finish this."

"Are you sure that's the right way to do this, Faith?"

"Has to be. Ain't no other way to do this, Ken. Buffy doesn't want to take Angelus out cos he's still technically Angel too. Hell, I'm havin' mixed feelings about this myself, but the pull to do the right thing has never been stronger than it is now. Been thinkin' that maybe once I do this, maybe things'll slow down around here and we'll all finally get a fuckin' break for once."

Nobody said being the good Slayer would be easy, but it wasn't even about good slayer and bad slayer. She was _the_ Slayer. The line still ran through her despite the hundreds, thousands of other Slayers around the world. If anything, it was all on her shoulders and she was going to bear the weight of the world even with all the others. It was just the way it was and she was finally beginning to see it and accept it.

She ran a shaky hand through her hair as she looked back inside once again at the same moment that Buffy chose to look over at her. She couldn't imagine losing her, losing what they had, but that feeling she had told her she really would lose Buffy no matter what she did. It sent pangs through her heart and tears threatened to fall, but she held herself together, trying to act as if nothing was wrong at all. She watched as Buffy got up from the couch and headed for the door, stepping out onto the balcony as she silently motioned for Kennedy to leave the two of them alone. And that's when she heard it, ever so faintly, the music being played from one of the apartments a few floors above them.

"I told Dawn to take Kennedy out of here," Buffy whispered as she took the bottle from Faith's hands and set it aside. "Right now, I just want to be alone with you."

"Sounds good," Faith smiled as she slid her hands over Buffy's hips and pulled her in close.

They swayed slowly to the music, a piano playing a gentle melody, and stared into one another's eyes. Something told her that Buffy was fighting something inside of her, fighting not to say the words she wanted to say and choosing instead to get lost in this moment they had together. Faith took the lead by grabbing on to Buffy's hand and spinning her around, smiling at her as she pulled her back into her arms. It was always so easy to forget everything else when she held Buffy close and even easier to become lost within her the instant their lips met in a soft, tender kiss. It felt different this time and Faith could feel Buffy holding herself back from kissing her deeper, more passionately.

It didn't always have to be about sex and she knew that, but it was almost all that it was between them at times. Maybe that was what was making Buffy hold back now and whatever it was, Faith knew she would never really know. Things were changing and she could feel it as she parted from their soft kiss and stared into Buffy's eyes, searching for the answers to unspoken questions. Maybe Angel/Angelus had been right before about not everything appearing to be as it was. So many maybes and not enough solid answers were making her ever so frustrated.

Buffy lifted a hand from her shoulder and ran the tips of her fingers over Faith's furrowed brow, frowning when Faith pulled back from the gentle caress. She loved 'speaking' to Buffy this way, so many things could be seen, almost heard when they shared their moments like this, but she didn't want it right then and there, not with so much on her mind. And the guilt she was feeling already over Angel wasn't helping any either.

"What's wrong?" Buffy asked as she dropped her hand back down on Faith's shoulder.

"Nothing."

"I can almost see the wheels in your head turning, Faith. What's wrong?"

"Told ya, B. Nothing. Just thinkin' is all."

"You're always 'just thinking'," Buffy muttered under her breath. She didn't move away even when Faith dropped her hands from her waist. "It's not going to be like it was before between us ever again, is it? We're going to..."

"Going to what, B?"

"Drift apart," she finished, looking away from Faith as Faith wrapped her arms around her once again. "We already are."

"Nah," she said, forcing a smile as she closed her eyes, leaning her head against Buffy's as she held her tight. "You seem to forget this morning, y'know before Giles dropped that napalm bomb on us 'bout Angel."

"I didn't forget," Buffy said coyly, causing Faith to chuckle softly into her hair. "Do you think we can do this every night?"

"This?"

Faith held her breath, knowing how much more Buffy was saying. Buffy wanted out. She wanted out of slaying, out of Cleveland, just out. Faith understood where she was coming from, at least she hoped she did. For her, all she wanted to do was stay right there and do what she needed to do, fight the good fight since that was her one purpose in life. It wasn't just Angel/Angelus that had made Buffy feel this way. She'd felt it for a long time—too long.

"I know you are planning to go down to LA," Buffy said quietly. "When you get back, Faith...I'm not going to be here."

"You ever coming back?"

Buffy said nothing as she pulled her in for a kiss, whispering 'I'm sorry' across her lips before she backed away slowly. "It won't mean this is over between us, Faith. If you kill Angel, I can't be around you for awhile."

"I get it, B."

"I..." Buffy let out a gasp as Faith tightened her hands over her waist and backed her up to the wall. She looked at loss for words as Faith's eyes penetrated into hers, waiting for her to speak. "I'm not coming back and it has nothing to do with you or what you're going to do to Angel."

"Do what you gotta do, Buffy."

She winced at how heartbreaking her voice sounded. She hated feeling so broken and showing it so openly. Rather than say anything more, she kissed Buffy hard, using her own body to pin Buffy's to the wall. The kiss was bruising and her hands were still gripping onto Buffy's waist, which she knew was bordering painful at that moment. Her hands quickly unbuttoned Buffy's jeans and she roughly shoved her hand down the front of her pants, eliciting a moan from Buffy as soon as her fingers brushed over her clit. What Faith was feeling was primal and the urge to claim Buffy as her own was too much to ignore.

"Nobody is ever gonna be able to touch you like I do," she whispered against her lips. "Nobody is ever gonna be able to make you feel as good as I can."

"Faith..."

She silenced her with another crushing kiss as she lazily rubbed over her clit, feeling a flood of wetness pour out as Buffy moaned again. She teased her for a moment longer before she pulled out her hand and began to back Buffy up towards the door, her lips never leaving Buffy's until they reached the bedroom. She half expected Buffy to stop her, but when she didn't, she made quick work of getting her out of her clothes and didn't bother with her own as Buffy laid back on the bed. Faith stood there for a moment just staring down at her and she slipped off her shoes and crawled over the bed towards her.

It was almost as if she was trying to imprint the sight of Buffy naked, ready, and waiting for her in her mind. Buffy looked tense, she looked scared, and she looked like she couldn't wait for Faith's hands, lips, and tongue to worship her.

"Faith, take your damn clothes off."

"No."

Her lips found Buffy's sweet spot on her neck just below her ear and when Buffy tried to tug at her shirt, she grabbed both her hands and pinned them against the mattress by her head. Faith pulled back, quirking her eyebrow as she reached over for the handcuffs in the bedside table drawer. She knew Buffy could easily break them without even trying now, but she knew she wouldn't. She handcuffed her hands together and made her grab onto the bars on the headboard.

"Don't move," she whispered softly and she felt Buffy shudder beneath her.

Faith began to kiss over her jaw and across her neck slowly, nipping at the skin, dipping her tongue out for a little taste as Buffy's breathing quickened. Her whole body was itching to be naked, to feel the soft slide of Buffy's skin against her own, but it'd have to wait until she was finished imprinting every last inch of Buffy into her mind. She knew this would be their last time together for god knows how long and she was going to make it last for as long as she could. She trailed her lips over Buffy's collarbone and then down across her breasts. She circled each nipple slowly with the tip of her tongue, feeling each one harden under her touch.

Buffy could hardly control herself as Faith kissed over her stomach, stopping when she reached her bellybutton and dipped her tongue lazily inside. She knew every last inch of Buffy's sweet spots and she was determined to hit every single one of them before she was through with her. She moved back up towards her breasts and nipped at the skin at the side of her ribs, smiling as Buffy let out a low moan that reverberated through her entire body. Faith pulled back suddenly and sat back, staring down at her, watching as Buffy looked right over at her, whimpering as she bit her lower lip as it began to tremble.

Faith knew she was going to cry and she nearly ripped off her own clothes, but kept it together, trying to stay cool, calm, and collected. She ran her hands up Buffy's legs, watching her as she spread them wantonly for her, her pussy already wet, glistening with need.

"Faith...I need you to...touch me."

"I am touching you," she whispered, trailing her hands up past her knees and inner thighs impossibly slow, knowing how much it was driving Buffy crazy and how hard she was fighting to keep her hands above her head. "Don't ever want to stop touching you, B."

Her words were mumbled and she felt like she was stuck in a trance as her eyes swept over Buffy's body, soaking in every last inch. She moved to lay between Buffy's legs and she blew hot air over her pussy before taking a rather tentative swipe down her slit. Buffy's hips bucked up at the touch and she whimpered at the loss of Faith's tongue when she pulled away. This was about claiming, not just pleasing, and Faith had every intention of making that be known without saying a word. She kissed over the insides of Buffy's thighs, marking her, biting so hard she nearly broke the skin. If it bordered on painful, Buffy didn't mind as each bite elicited a series of soft, whimpering moans.

Faith closed her eyes for a moment as she felt the sensation of tingles spread throughout her body with every inhale she took of Buffy's sweet, wet pussy. Buffy wrapped her legs around Faith's shoulders as she dove in suddenly, plunging her tongue as deeply as she could into her hole while gripping her hips to keep her from bucking up into her face. The moans escaping past Buffy's lips as she gasped for air were turning Faith on immensely. She'd never felt her body so charged up, so ready, so wanting. With one hand she managed to unbutton her own jeans and wriggle out of them with a bit of a struggle. She pulled back from Buffy's pussy, gasping to catch her breath as she pulled off her shirt and quickly slipped out of her bra. She went right back to it, sliding two fingers deep inside of Buffy's hole while her lips wrapped around her throbbing clit, no longer out to tease, only to please.

As soon as Buffy let go of the headboard and threaded her fingers through Faith's hair, she pulled away with a sly smirk creeping over her lips as she grabbed onto Buffy's hands and pulled them away. She slid up her body slowly, her eyes burning into Buffy's as she felt every inch of their bodies touching. Every second that ticked by made this feel that much more bittersweet than it already was and despite trying not to think about that, the tears sprang to Faith's eyes, every inch of her breaking apart as she struggled to hold it together. She didn't move, she barely breathed, as their lips met in a soft kiss. One so full of passion, of love, it made her fall apart even more.

"Oh!" A yelp came from the other end of the room and they broke apart from the kiss to see where it'd come from. "Goddess, I'm sorry!"

"Willow?" Buffy said quietly, the words barely slipping from her lips as she looked over at a non-corporeal Willow standing at the far end of the bedroom.

"The Powers that Be sure have a quirky sense of humour," Willow said with a laugh, holding her hands over her eyes as she made her way across the room.

"Willow?" Buffy asked again as Faith pulled the sheets up over their bodies and struggled with the key in the handcuffs. "Aren't you—you're not really here, are you? Faith, is she here?"

"Why don't you two throw some clothes on and join me in the other room? I have _so_ much to tell you. All of you."

Buffy was shaking slightly, blinking past the tears as she and Faith both watched as Willow walked right through the closed door. The only thought Faith had at the moment was _what the fucking hell_?


	40. Chapter 40

Buffy sat awkwardly on the arm of the chair Faith had been sitting in for the last half an hour as they all listened to Willow tell them what had happened after she'd died. The Powers That Be were behind her soul's return to the world since it hadn't been her time to die just yet. The Powers had plans for her, of course, but Willow wasn't allowed to tell them what most of those plans were.

Buffy hadn't said a word since she and Faith had left the bedroom and she hadn't even looked at Faith once since the soft kiss they shared before they'd gotten dressed. Their bittersweet goodbye, as Faith was now referring to that moment between them, had been drastically cut short by Willow's sudden and unexpected arrival and she knew it was a moment they'd never get back. Not today. Definitely not tomorrow. She wasn't going to say they'd never get a chance to be together again because she wanted to keep her options—and her heart—open. She knew she should've been paying more attention to Willow instead of just thinking about her and Buffy and where they now stood, especially after what Buffy had told her.

"_When you get back, Faith...I'm not going to be here."_

The words cut through her heart like a knife, and every time she heard them over and over again in her head the knife plunged deeper into her heart, twisting it until she just couldn't take it any longer. She almost wished Buffy hadn't chosen to sit right there with her, but the seating around the apartment was limited with everyone else in there listening to everything Willow had to say. It'd been too much all day, first with Angel, then with Buffy basically breaking up with her while telling her they weren't really breaking up, and then Willow pretty much coming back to life as a very non-corporeal Willow who could babble a hell of a lot longer than she'd ever been able to before.

Giles had been least surprised when he found out Willow was back even if she wasn't entirely herself. He had said—before Willow went into babble mode—that he had halfway expected the Powers That Be to send her back as she was much too powerful a witch and a force for good for the Powers to allow her death so early in life to stand. Xander could hardly believe his eye and he nearly choked on his Coke when Willow explained how the Powers sent her back directly into Buffy and Faith's bedroom. Kennedy couldn't stop laughing at that and Buffy, who Faith half expected to be embarrassed about it, just sat there looking a little spaced and unaffected by the whole thing. That was until Willow said something about handcuffs being a 'new fashion accessory' in their bedroom.

Even in all the seriousness of the moment, it caused everyone but Buffy to laugh. Faith just sat back on the chair with a smug grin firmly planted on her face as she waited for the laughter to die off. It made it seem like everything was almost okay again with Willow back there. It felt like she'd been part of the glue that had held everyone together. Her quip about the handcuffs had been funny, but it also brought a lot of realizations to light in Faith's mind, one of which was that _this_ would never be the same between all of them as soon as she left to hunt down Angelus and kill him.

Buffy hadn't said a word to the others about her leaving and not coming back when Faith left to go to LA. She figured Buffy was waiting until after she was gone to talk to the others. They wouldn't like it and they probably wouldn't understand why she had to do it, either—why she had to run away instead of staying right there. Faith actually didn't _want_ to be around when she told the others, so Buffy not saying anything was even working in her favour. She didn't know how much more she could handle, especially since the deal with Angel/Angelus had made her feel as if her world was about to cave in on itself. It was probably exactly how Buffy felt too when it came to Angel. In this situation it made her a little crazy to realize just how much Angel did mean to both of them, for two very different reasons.

"Can you pick things up?" Andrew asked as he stared long and hard at Willow. "Can you walk through walls? Through people?"

"I can't pick anything up, no. I can walk through walls and why would I want to walk through a person? That's all sorts of icky," Willow laughed as she shook her head.

"I think being a ghost is sort of cool," Andrew mused, smiling as Faith swore she could see a nerdgasm about to erupt inside of him. "You aren't really a ghost though, are you?"

"Technically? No," Willow said with a smile. "But it's the popular term so we'll go with that."

Faith chose that moment to leave the living room. After grabbing a beer from the fridge, she headed outside onto the balcony with Kennedy following close behind her. She shook her head and let out a half laugh, half sigh as she leaned against the railing.

"Ever wonder when things stopped surprisin' ya?" Faith asked Kennedy as she leaned against the railing next to her. "Cos I kinda lost track of when that started happening."

"The day I first came to Sunnydale things stopped surprising me," Kennedy replied with a laugh. "I thought I would've been at least a _little_ shocked to know that Willow is back in very non-corporeal form, but it's just like 'oh, really? She's back?' kind of thing."

"Feels like we're losing ourselves somewhere along the way, don't it?"

"Yeah," Kennedy replied before quickly turning to look at Faith. "Wait, you are coming back from LA, aren't you?"

"Yeah. Gotta go where I'm needed and figure I'm needed here. For now."

"What about Buffy?"

"What about her? She's leaving, Ken."

"Why?"

"Just what she has to do," Faith shrugged, trying not to get over-emotional about the whole situation.

"And you are just going to let her go, just like that?"

"What am I s'posed to do then?"

"You love her, don't you?" Kennedy asked and all Faith could do was nod as she willed the tears away. "You know, that whole thing about letting someone go and them coming back if they love you? I'm thinking that's a crock. Don't let her go, Faith."

[Okay, I changed that dialogue because to me it didn't make sense to me originally. You have Kennedy saying "Don't let her go" but then saying "let her go & if she loves you...". I went with Kennedy not wanting her to let Buffy go and so rewrote the dialogue. Just so you know where I'm coming from and why.]

"Heard somethin' like that before, but it ain't got nothin' to do with what's goin' on between me and Buffy. This has to do with her and wherever she's at right now. Me goin' down to kill Angelus is gonna rip her apart inside as much as it's gonna rip me apart," Faith said, sighing as she lowered her head and looked down at the street below.

"Then don't go after him."

"Ain't got a fuckin' choice, Ken. You got no idea how dangerous Angelus is and for him to be actually _overpowering_ Angel, _with_ his soul still inside of him, it's just...I can't let Angel go through this."

"I know. Seems like the theme of the day is 'do what you gotta do' even if it doesn't feel like it's the right thing."

"What are you talkin' 'bout?"

"Satsu," Kennedy muttered under her breath. "I never thought it would be possible to fall in love this fast. I fell for Willow pretty hard, but not like this. Satsu is different. She's..."

"A Slayer. The connection you two have makes the attraction stronger."

"That what it was like for you and Buffy?"

"We got a different kind of connection and those effects from the barrier spell, which—get this," Faith let out a laugh as she turned to look back inside for a moment, "—turned out to be a whole crock of shit."

"Really?"

"Kinda," she shrugged and let out another short, sharp laugh. "Turns out I've always had a little more empathy than your average person. Just shut it off a long time ago. Guessin' the barrier spell and whatever effects it was producin' kinda set it all off."

"Could be. Still doesn't explain why you aren't going to stop Buffy from leaving."

"Cos I can't, Ken. If she needs to get outta here for a while, who am I to stop her from doin' what she needs to do?"

It hurt to think about losing Buffy completely and she knew that after a few days, weeks even, she'd have to make Buffy realize that she _needed_ to be with her and not off wherever she planned to go. Parts of the old Faith were trying to come back, trying to take over who she was now and push her off that last step back into the darkness, into the void where she always lost herself. She hated trying to do the right thing, because the way she saw the Angelus situation there really wasn't any other way to do this. What hurt the most was thinking that nothing would be the same between her and Buffy ever again and she couldn't bear the thought of losing her and the love they'd found together, finally, after all those years.

Faith looked back inside, watching as Buffy, Giles, Xander, and Willow all talked and laughed as if nothing had happened in the last couple of weeks. Buffy looked over at her through the window and those butterflies she always felt whenever Buffy looked at her took off, making her feel a little weak in the knees just thinking how this could be the last time in god knows how long that Buffy would look at her like that, with such love and longing in her eyes.

"When are you leaving?" Kennedy asked quietly.

"Tomorrow, I'm thinkin'."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Willow showin' up like that right when we were...fuckin'—ruined the mood, yo."

They both shared a laugh, but Faith was only trying to cover the sadness in her voice, her laughter fading almost the instant that it started. She didn't _want_ to think of losing Buffy. It just hurt so damn much to let that thought linger in her mind for too long. She ran a shaky hand through her hair as she watched Buffy walk over towards the balcony door. Kennedy took that as her cue to leave the two of them out there alone.

"Hey, you okay?" Buffy asked softly as she snaked her arms around Faith's waist.

"Five by five, B."

"No, you aren't 'five by five', Faith," Buffy said as she shook her head. "Maybe I shouldn't have said anything to you before about me leaving and not being here when you come back."

"And what, just done it without sayin' a fuckin' word? Like that'd be any better. Fuck," Faith groaned as she lifted a hand to quickly wipe away her tears. "Do ya see what ya do to me, B? Nobody ever made me cry before."

"Except Robin."

"Different brand of tears, B."

"I don't want to do this, Faith."

"Then don't."

"I have to if you...Angel being gone is...I can't even just think about it right now without feeling a little...empty inside."

"B, you know he wouldn't want this. You _know_ that this is the only way."

"Is it? Willow is back here now. She can figure something out. She'll fix him."

Faith could feel how torn Buffy was feeling right then and it ripped through her like a sharp knife as soon as she saw the tears fall. She knew Buffy didn't want to pick up and leave, even just for a little while, but she knew that there wasn't anything else she could do. It wasn't as if Faith wanted this either. It was the very last thing she wanted and needed right now, but it was going to happen no matter what. It had to.

"Buffy...you know that I gotta do this."

"I know."

"Wish it could be different. Wish things could just keep goin' the way they been, cos—shit, B, I ain't ever been in love before. Don't wanna lose what we got."

"We won't. I won't be gone for too long, Faith. Just long enough to...clear my head a little bit."

"I know, B."

"For once," Buffy said softly as she stared into Faith's eyes and ran her hands just under the hem of her shirt, smoothing her palms over her skin slowly. "For once I thought maybe this was it, that life was finally going to slow down and I could...stop slaying, and just _be,_ and find out who else I am other than a Slayer. Starting to think that's all I am and I can't..."

"You are a helluva lot more than just a Slayer, B."

"I know."

"What do ya say we kick everybody out and continue where we left off earlier?" Faith whispered as she wiggled her eyebrows, trying so hard not to fall into that depressing little hole that she seemed to find herself in now. "Just wanna make love to ya all night long, B."

"Mm, I like the sound of that," Buffy murmured as she buried her face into the side of Faith's neck.

"But?" Faith asked as Buffy leaned back a little so she could look up at her. "But we can't, right?"

"There's a lot Willow hasn't even told us yet. Soon as the pizza Xander ordered gets here, we're going to sit down and talk, or rather listen while Willow tells us everything."

"This is gonna turn into an all night thing, isn't it?"

"Yeah. Think so."

"Think it's too late to duck out and go find some vamps to kill?"

"Faith..."

"What, B? I got a whole lotta tension to work out right about now and seeing how my preferred method ain't gonna happen, gotta compromise somehow."

Buffy pouted as she ran her hands up Faith's back a little and the brunette tried to relax, but found it impossible with Buffy's soft hands running over her skin. "You _are_ really tense, Faith," she breathed across her neck as she planted a few soft kisses there before moving to her lips slowly.

"You tell everyone you're leavin' yet?"

"No."

"Just gonna pack up and leave, huh?"

"I told you. Besides, can we not...talk about this right now?"

Faith let out a soft sigh as she leaned forward and rested her forehead against Buffy's. She just wanted to kiss her and feel as if she were melting away. She didn't want to think of what would happen tomorrow, or the days that followed. She was done thinking of it. She closed her eyes as Xander came to the door, wishing that he'd just leave them be for a little while longer.

"Pizza is on its way up," he said quietly. "Just thought I'd let you two know."

"Yeah, thanks," Faith replied, not letting Buffy back away just yet. "Give us a minute or two, Xand."

"Sure."

She let out another sigh, pulling Buffy in for a kiss as soon as Xander had shut the door. The kiss was soft at first, but as soon as Buffy ran her tongue across her bottom lip Faith deepened the kiss, pulling her flush against her as one hand reached up to tangle itself in her hair. She stopped when she felt the hot tears hit her cheeks and she pulled away slowly, looking into Buffy's watering eyes for a moment before gently kissing away each tear that fell. It caused a lump to form in the back of her throat and she tried to force it away, tried not to think of anything but right here and now.

"We should get inside," Buffy said softly, her words barely making it out as the tears kept falling. "I'm falling apart," she said with a short laugh. "I don't...I wish we didn't have to do this, Faith. I wish that things were different."

"We'll figure it out, B. Always do one way or another, right?" Faith said, forcing a smile as she wiped away Buffy's tears gently with her thumbs. "Ain't like you're gonna lose me forever, B. Even if you do leave, I get it. I'll wait for ya for however long it takes."

"You'd do that?"

"Ya crazy, B? Of course I would. In case you've forgotten, I'm in love with ya," she said with a smile that was a little less forced. "No more tears, B. Let's just go sit with everyone, gorge ourselves on pizza, and listen to what Willow has to say. Okay?"

They shared one last kiss before going back inside to join the others. Jackie was there now and she was talking quietly to Giles. Faith let out a soft laugh knowing that her mother was slowly beginning to fall for Giles. It wasn't as if she could blame her and as weird as it was to see her own mother flirting with her watcher, it felt right at the same time. Willow was talking to Xander, trying to answer all the questions he was asking her, and they both were trying to ignore Andrew as he tried to ask her more about what it was like being non-corporeal. Faith couldn't eat so she just sat in the chair with Buffy perched on the arm, her fingers trailing soft, light patterns over her back where her shirt had ridden up just a little.

As soon as the pizza was eaten, they cleaned up the empty boxes and settled around the living room to listen to more of what Willow had to say. Faith was zoning out and she pulled Buffy down from the arm and onto her lap, snaking an arm around her as she leaned back against her. She did hear bits and pieces of what Willow was saying, about what the Powers that Be had told her. She was, in her own right, a kind of Champion and she was needed here to help fight the forces of evil. One specific thing she did say was that the Powers that Be had told her there wasn't any big apocalypse about to happen anytime soon. She started talking about Angel and how it was pretty much set in stone, that it was _fate_ that Faith would be the one to take him out. Faith felt Buffy tense at that and she kissed the side of her head, trying to reassure her that it'd be okay even if it felt like it wouldn't be.

The more she talked about Angel, the more Faith had to wonder if everything really did happen for a reason. Faith had been right about him, about not being able to fix this. It wasn't meant to happen, according to Willow, and as soon as those words left her mouth Buffy was up and out of the apartment in a matter of seconds. Dawn went after her and Faith just stayed right where she was, knowing that if anyone could calm Buffy down right then it'd be Dawn.

"Did they say when this has to be done?" Giles asked Willow.

"Soon. Every day that passes, Angelus becomes stronger and takes over Angel and his soul a little more. I kept asking if there was a way to stop this from happening, but unfortunately there is no way. Faith," Willow said as she turned to her. "I know how hard this is for you and for Buffy, but whatever you do, you can't let her go."

"How do you—"

"It's rather amazing what the Powers know," she said and shook her head as she crossed her arms over her chest. "I can't tell you everything that they told me, but I can tell you that you cannot let Buffy go. Not yet. Not ever."

"Why?"

"Because you two are...soul-mates, Faith. Surely you already figured that out," Willow said with a matter of fact tone of voice. "They told me you've known since before you met her that she was your other half. You two being together now, it's created a bond, a force so strong that nothing on the outside can break it apart. You can't let her leave."

"Wish I knew how to stop her, Will. But if she's gotta get gone for awhile, I gotta let her go."

"Don't let her go for too long," she said quietly. "Buffy being alone for too long, and apart from all of us, something will end up happening and...she won't be the same."

"People change," Faith pointed out. "I changed. Buffy has too. You all have."

"Trust me when I tell you that you can't let her go, Faith. I already can sense how much it's pulling you apart inside. It's making her feel the same way too."

Faith felt a bit uncomfortable hearing Willow talk about this in front of the others. She knew there was a lot more than what Willow was willing to tell her and it was already starting to drive her a little crazy trying to read between the lines and figure it out for herself. The soul-mate thing made her feel uneasy, but at the same time hearing it acknowledged by someone else made her feel good, made her feel whole. She'd always felt that Buffy was her other half, even back when everything fell apart between them. Buffy was the light to her dark, the other half of her soul—she had felt it every day since that first kiss, and it had only increased as they became closer. Buffy had become her world and she wasn't the only one who saw that. The others started talking quietly, Xander adding his two cents; telling Faith he had never thought the two of them would find something so deep, so real together and that he'd do anything to help them stay together.

Faith got up from the chair, not saying a word as she left the apartment in search of Buffy. She found her in the stairwell with Dawn talking quietly. As soon as Dawn saw Faith coming down the stairs, she whispered something to Buffy and left the two of them alone. Faith sat down on the steps next to Buffy, letting out a soft sigh as Buffy instantly reached for her hand. Neither of them said a word for the longest time as they sat there on the stairs between the second and third floor. Faith didn't know what to say to her, so she opted for just sitting there with her in hopes that Buffy would be the one to talk first.

"Dawn is coming with me," she said quietly after they'd sat there for a couple minutes. "When I leave, she wants to come with me."

"Where ya gonna go?"

"We're thinking Italy. We've never been, you know?"

"Sounds...great."

"Yeah," Buffy replied, lowering her head a little as Faith let go of her hand. "We're using the money I've been getting from Perry lately. It'll be enough for a couple of weeks."

Faith nodded her head and wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans. It suddenly felt really warm in the normally cool stairwell. She felt boxed in like a caged animal, waiting for that moment she broke apart and all hell went loose. She clenched her jaw tightly as she stared down at her hands, feeling that darkness running through her body that she was quickly losing control of. This thing with Buffy leaving was feeling more real by the second and if she didn't know any better she'd think that her heart had been pulled right from her chest. She couldn't help but feel a little afraid that she might wuss out when she came face to face with Angel/Angelus. It'd definitely be one of the hardest things she'd ever have to do next to letting Buffy get gone for a while.

She wasn't sure how long they sat there in the stairwell, but Buffy was the first to get up. She reached for Faith's hand and pulled her to her feet before leading the way slowly back up to the fifth floor and down the hallway to the apartment door. She gave Faith a soft kiss on the lips before they went inside, where Buffy without hesitation simply told everyone to leave, and didn't bother waiting for everyone to comply before she was pulling Faith towards the bedroom.

"Just let me have one last night," Buffy whispered to Faith as she closed the door behind her and pushed the brunette towards the bed. "Just one last night, just you and me."

"All I want right now, B."

"I just want to forget about everything right now."

"Me too."

"I don't want to think about tomorrow," Buffy whispered as she stood at the foot of the bed and began to slowly undress herself. Faith slipped out of her own clothes as she sat on the edge of the bed in front of her, biting her lip, not daring to say a word. "We're not going to lose this, Faith."

"No. Never."

"It's never been like this with anyone else. It's never felt so intense, so...electrifying with just a simple touch," Buffy said softly, reaching out to gently caress Faith's cheek. "I don't think I've ever loved anyone the way I love you either."

"Not even Angel?"

"Not even Angel."

Faith reached out, hooking her fingers around the edges of Buffy's lace panties as she stared up at her. She pulled them down slowly, smoothing the tips of her fingers over the skin as she did so before letting them drop to the floor as she leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss just below her bellybutton. She ran her hands slowly up the back of Buffy's thighs, stopping at her waist as she pulled the blonde slayer down to straddle her legs. She stopped Buffy from kissing her and sat back a little, staring at her in the dim light of the room.

"Feels pretty intense right now," Faith whispered softly. "Never thought I'd hear you say that to me."

"Since we got here we haven't held anything back, Faith. Not going to start now."

"I know."

"Two weeks, I promise."

"No, you don't," Faith said, feeling the lie in Buffy's words, that uncertainty she could see so clearly in her eyes. "But don't doubt for a second that if you're gone for more than two weeks I'm gonna come over there, find you, and haul your ass back home."

"You would do that, wouldn't you?" Buffy laughed softly. "What did Willow say when I was gone?"

"Are we really gonna talk now, B?"

"Why, are you all distracted by my nakedness?" Buffy asked, trying to keep a straight face as Faith raised an eyebrow before leaning forward to pull Buffy a little closer, the brunette's lips swiftly latching onto her right nipple. "I'll take that as a yes."

Faith breathed in softly as she ran the tip of her tongue over Buffy's nipple for a moment before she moved to the other, biting it a little roughly as Buffy's hands went into her hair. The softest moan escaped from Buffy's lips then as she pulled Faith up to kiss her. Faith's body always reacted to every sound that Buffy made whenever she touched her. The feeling in itself was like a drug, it sent a sense of euphoria through her even if it just lasted a few short seconds at a time.

They spent the entire night there in their bedroom, most of it just spent holding one another, sharing a few kisses, a few gentle caresses, and a couple of long hours making love. Faith left her there as the first few rays of sunlight began to creep over the horizon. Buffy sleepily gave her a kiss goodbye, sighing out the words 'I love you' before she fell back asleep. Faith quickly and quietly packed up a bag and left, knowing if she didn't leave right now she never would, especially not after the night they'd just spent together.

She stopped by the house, where Giles was sitting in the kitchen waiting for her. He handed her the plane ticket, saying nothing to her as she took it and left, climbing into the empty cab that was waiting for her. She was exhausted, it was going to be a very long flight to LA, and an even longer couple of days—or however long it took her to find Angelus. She closed her eyes, seeing nothing but Buffy and those very fresh and recent memories. Memories that made her whole body ache for more. She couldn't help but feel like this was a mistake, that going down to LA to kill Angelus was the last thing she should be doing. She almost changed her mind three times on the long ride to the airport, but even after she boarded the plane, she still felt like this was a mistake she would forever regret. It was hard to tell what was genuine intuition and what was her mind just her own fear and reluctance. She was, after all, having to let go not only of Buffy but also the only other person in the world who ever gave a shit about her when things had gotten real bad before.

She had to remind herself it wasn't the first time she'd be facing Angelus, but it wouldn't go down the way it had before. She'd kill him, watch him turn to dust before her and never see him again, shedding more than enough tears for him before she would go back to Cleveland and Buffy would be gone. She let sleep take her over as soon as the plane was in the air and she knew when she woke, the world was going to go change on her yet again.

* * *

Faith spent the first couple of hours in LA wandering the streets while she waited for the sun to go down. She'd gotten in touch with Wesley as soon as the plane had landed. He picked her up and after explaining that Angelus was now always more in control than Angel was and that his whereabouts were unknown, he dropped her off and gave her a small crossbow and a couple of stakes. He also gave her a cell phone, making her promise she'd call as soon as it was done. It settled her, made her feel like the Slayer—_killer?_—she really was.

It was about a half hour before the sun set when she felt him watching her. She was in a highly populated area and a fight wouldn't go unnoticed by innocent passers-by. She had to do this without anyone around and Wesley had warned her Angelus would take her for a ride before she caught up to him in the end. She crossed the road, dodging the cars, and followed him through the alleyways until she came to a dead end. There were a few abandoned buildings and only one had a door that hadn't been nailed shut. She pulled the crossbow out of the bag along with one of the stakes and left the bag there as she marched over to the door and kicked it open.

"You gettin' a sense of déjà vu here too, Angel?" Faith called out as she walked through the big, nearly empty room. "Cos I'm totally feelin' it right now."

"Wondered when you'd figure it out and show up," Angel chuckled as he stepped out from the shadows. She raised the crossbow and he held up his hands. "Hey now, Faithy. Gotta play nice."

"Didn't come here to play nice. Came here to kill ya."

"Pity. I really thought it would be Buffy who came instead of you. Those goddamn seers probably lied to me again. Good thing I ate them for lunch," he smirked as he took a step closer to her. "And you know something else, Faithy? I really thought it'd be a challenge. Then again, just might be. Facing a second rate Slayer here after all."

"_Just words. Don't listen to him."_

Faith stood her ground, her finger over the trigger as she readied herself to raise the crossbow at him in an instant. Angel stood there, looking her up and down for a moment before he shook his head. She tried not to flinch, to show any kind of emotion. He wanted to get something out of her, anything, and she wasn't about to let him.

"You didn't come here for a fight did you?"

"No."

"You really think I'd make it that easy for you?"

"No. I'll make it easy for me."

"You really haven't changed much, have you?" Angel asked, cocking his head to the side when Faith didn't say a word. "Well, of course we have to factor in that you're all loved up with Buffy now. Gotta tell ya, I really didn't see that one coming."

"Well, I gotta tell ya that sometimes people surprise ya," Faith replied, grinning as Angel rolled his eyes. "Betcha old Angel just hates that. Or..." she took a step closer to him, seeing the amusement flash in his eyes, "you hate that he's okay with it."

"Maybe a little of both," he replied easily. "So, why don't you enlighten me as to why you're the one that's come to take me out."

"Supposed to be me."

"Says who? Oh wait," he laughed as he began pacing in front of her slowly, the dust rising from the floor and wafting around in the little bit of light left. "The great and mighty Powers that Be, am I right?"

"That and—"

"And Buffy can't...wait no, she won't," Angel finished for her, tsking as he shook his head. "How does that make you feel to know that she still loves him?"

"Doesn't make me feel a thing. She ain't in love with him or anything and y'know what? I don't even know why I'm botherin' talking to you 'bout this or anything else. All you're doin' is tryin' to stir up shit. You've gone soft, Angel."

He scoffed as he stopped pacing, the dust on the floor finally settling. Faith widened her stance, still ready to raise the crossbow knowing she could get him on the first go as long as she was quick enough. They stared at one another for a couple of minutes as if they were both waiting for the other to make that first move. Everything felt like it slowed down as she felt a single bead of sweat roll down her back. She gripped the crossbow, watching and waiting for that one split second she knew she'd have the chance and when he blinked, she raised it, squeezing the trigger as she held her breath.

Angel looked at her as the arrow struck home, and in that split second before he turned to dust she knew she was looking at Angel, not Angelus. Her heart felt heavy as she watched him fade to nothing and she dropped the crossbow to the floor, her hands shaking with the realization that she'd done exactly what she'd come there to do without even a single blow being traded between them. She pulled the cell phone out of her back pocket as she walked out of the building and called Wesley.

"It's done," she said flatly, her voice devoid of all emotion as she heard him sigh in relief.

"That was quick work, Faith."

"Yeah."

"Were there any problems? How on earth did you find him so quickly?"

"He found me. Followed him into this abandoned building, traded a few words, then it was done."

"Where are you?"

"Does it matter? Kinda wanna be alone right now."

"You do know where my apartment is, right?"

"Vaguely."

"Come here when you're ready to."

She said nothing more to him as she pressed the end button and slipped the cell phone back into her back pocket. She bent down to pick up one of the stakes from inside the bag she'd dropped to the ground before and tucked it inside her jacket pocket. Squaring her shoulders, she made her way to the street, slinging the bag's strap over her shoulder seemingly without any other care in the world to the unknowing eye. She could feel the tears building, but she didn't dare let them fall. Not yet. It still hadn't completely sunk in that she'd killed him—she'd killed Angel.

She'd really done it and now he was gone. And she knew Buffy was too. She could just _feel_ it.

Everything seemed a blur as she walked the busy streets. Every step she took, she felt this heaviness build inside of her along with an emptiness, a void, that felt like it was swallowing her whole. As soon as she spotted a group of vampires making their way to a seedy looking bar, though, everything changed—she took a few deep breaths and headed across the street, ready to take them out, ready to fight since that was exactly what she was built for. She couldn't help but wonder, though, what the hell would happen next.


	41. Chapter 41

Faith stayed in LA for three days, sleeping—barely—on Wesley's couch and going out slaying at night, trying and failing to keep her mind off what had happened and her emotions in check. She'd called Giles the morning after she killed Angel to tell him it went down without a single problem. Even he was surprised at the lack of a fight between them and he didn't say much more other than he was relieved they wouldn't have to worry about it any longer. He informed her then that Buffy and Dawn had packed up and left for Italy and that they had taken Andrew with them. When she'd finally fallen asleep on the worn couch, she dreamt of Buffy and let go of the hope that it was a shared dream with her the instant she woke up.

She felt like a zombie when she boarded the plane early Friday morning and when the plane landed, that emptiness filled her even more the second she stepped off the plane. Xander was waiting for her and as soon as she spotted him they headed straight out to the parking lot, Xander asking her a dozen questions along the way. Questions she wasn't ready to answer, nor did she want to right then. He seemed to get it by the time they reached the van and she slung her bag into the back seat as she climbed into the passenger side.

"Got a case of beer at the house if you want to come by," Xander said as he slid the key into the ignition but didn't start it yet.

"Sounds good."

"You know that's the first thing you've said to me since you got off the plane."

"Don't got much to say right now, Xand."

"Dawn told me to tell you that she's going to make sure Buffy comes back with her and Andrew."

"How'd Andrew end up taggin' along with 'em?"

"Dawnie talked him into it," Xander shrugged, finally starting the engine and proceeding to back out of the parking space. "She thought it'd be a good idea. Why, I really don't know."

Faith let out a short laugh as she propped her feet up on the dashboard and rolled down the window. The flight had been long and although she'd been lost in her own thoughts, in a daze, the annoying kids that sat behind her had made it exhausting.

"Kennedy left these in here last night," Xander said as he retrieved a pack of cigarettes from the back seat and offered it to her. She nodded a thank you as she took one out and used the lighter she always kept in her pocket to light it. "Giles had us moving most of the books over to the apartment building. Headquarters we're gonna call it for now."

"Cool."

"The basement there is huge, bigger than we originally thought once we knocked out a few walls. A couple guys I've been working with lately are helping us get it set up as a proper training room. If Kennedy is getting excited about it, I know you will be too."

Faith just nodded, leaning her head back against the seat as she took a drag from the cigarette and stared out the open window. Xander told her about a few more girls that had shown up there, having been sent from various parts of the world by the handful of Watchers Giles had going around looking for them and 'recruiting' them. Most of them were young, under sixteen, but there were a couple that were nearly twenty years old. Xander told her how there were younger girls out there, some as young as five, but they'd wait to train them until they were at least sixteen years old. She didn't want to put her two cents in, telling him that she'd been training with her Watcher for a year before she was called. She also didn't bother to bring up the fact that Satsu, Carmen, and Amber had been training most of their lives. Just like her, Xander seemed a little lost and a little empty inside.

He didn't talk about anything else, including Buffy, during the whole ride to the house. Faith jumped out of the van as soon as it came to a stop in the driveway and she could immediately hear Kennedy and the others talking in the back yard. She went inside first, however, dropping her bag at the foot of the stairs and heading straight for the fridge in the kitchen. She downed half a beer in one go before turning around to find Willow standing right behind her.

"Jesus, Red. Any way we can make you wear a bell?"

"Nice to see you're back in one piece," Willow replied rather coldly as Faith walked around her and headed for the back door. "I'll take it you don't want to talk about what happened in LA?"

"No. Ya want some sorta prize or somethin' for gettin' it right?"

"An actual body would be nice."

Faith chuckled under her breath as she opened the back door and stepped outside. Kennedy and Satsu were lounging under the tree, engaged in what looked to be a rather private conversation between the two of them. Xander was standing by the remains of the gazebo he'd built before, now completely smashed to the ground.

"What happened?" Faith asked as she walked over to him.

"Demon. Buffy threw it at it. Followed her the other night. Here I thought I was the only one to attract the demons."

"Damn," Faith smirked as she watched Xander take a kick at a piece of wood before letting out a heavy sigh. "Look on the bright side. Wood for a bonfire."

"Definitely looking on the bright side of things here, aren't you?"

"Gotta try to at least. You gonna try to fix it up?"

"Why bother?" Xander asked as he let out a discouraged groan. "Heard you ran into Willow inside."

"Yeah. We need to make her wear a bell," Faith chuckled. "Snuck up behind me. Too bad these Slayer senses don't pick up on the non-corporeal types."

"She's been having a lot of fun the last couple of days just popping up. Almost gave Giles a heart attack yesterday morning. And she's been talking to Jackie a lot, too."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. Talking about all these things we've been trying to do around here lately, you know with the house and with Headquarters, with the younger Slayers coming in. Jackie thinks we might be a little in over our heads, and I'd say your mother is a wise woman, Faith. I've got to agree with her about the in over our heads thing."

"Eh. We might be, but we'll get through it."

Xander grinned before he clinked the bottle of beer in his hand against hers. They joined Kennedy and Satsu on the blanket spread out under the tree and Faith couldn't help but almost expect Buffy to come out and join them any minute now. Kennedy flashed her a sympathetic smile almost as if she knew that Faith's heart was aching for Buffy. She tried to shake it off, not feeling entirely comfortable wearing her emotions so clearly for everyone to see.

Faith stayed out there long enough to finish her beer before she went back inside, grabbing her pack and heading straight for the apartment. The hot summer sun made the short walk unbearable and as soon as she was inside her apartment, she felt the tears spring to her eyes. It wasn't just _her_ apartment, it had been hers and Buffy's even for the short time they'd been there. She walked to the bedroom, expecting the mountains of clothes—Buffy's clothes—to still be there, but it was nearly empty, the closet door still wide open. Faith kicked her bag across the room, it hitting the far wall with a loud thump as she walked over to the bed and sat down heavily.

The next couple of days were going to weigh heavily on her, she knew, and with one last sigh she gave up and let the tears fall. She laid back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling miserably, blinking through the tears as the last few sleepless nights began to hit her.

* * *

For three weeks, Faith spent her days training the younger Slayers and her nights out on patrol. For three weeks, she tried not to think about Buffy and failed. For three weeks, she'd been waiting for Buffy to come back, or even call, and it never happened. And for three weeks, she felt like she was slipping and fading away from everything she'd become since the fall of Sunnydale.

The look in Angel's eyes the moment the arrow had pierced through his heart had haunted her every single night since it had happened. It made her wake up in a cold sweat, reaching through the darkness towards the empty side of the bed, half expecting Buffy to be there to hold her. It was in those moments that the tears started to fall and she found herself getting out of bed to go next door. If she was lucky she'd find Kennedy awake and would sit out on the balcony with her until the sun rose and the alcohol they'd drunk had numbed her completely.

Tonight, however, was different. Tonight she knew it'd been exactly three weeks since she'd come back to Cleveland, one whole week past Buffy's promise to come back in two weeks. She had patrol with Perry and Marshall and a few of the younger Slayers, but her mind was solely on Buffy. She was seriously thinking of hopping on a plane as soon as they were finished with patrol and flying to Italy to find Buffy and bring her home. Marshall took her aside on the second sweep through the cemetery and made her sit down on the bench at the side of the path.

"What's going on with you tonight, Lehane?"

"Nothin's goin' on with me tonight."

"You've been distracted and careless since we got here. Tell me straight up what's going on with you," Marshall said and she shrugged it off, trying not to show just how upset she really was. "It's your girl being gone, isn't it?"

Faith nodded and fought off the tears by pulling out her pack of smokes and quickly lighting one. Marshall sat down next to her and let out a sigh as he shook his head. "What?" Faith asked as she turned to him. "So I fuckin' miss Buffy, what's the big deal?"

"The big deal is the fact that even I know she was supposed to be back a week ago."

"So?"

"So," Marshall sighed as he casually put his arm around her shoulders. "What are you waiting for, Lehane? Go get your girl and bring her back home."

"That's seriously freaky," Faith said with a short laugh. "Was just thinkin' of hopping on a plane soon as we're done here."

"What'll you do when you find her?"

"Bring her home."

"What if it's not that simple?"

Faith shrugged, taking a long drag of her cigarette before she turned to look at him. "Then I dunno, man. I'll figure it out."

"I hope so. Come on, forget patrol," Marshall said as he stood up. "I'll drive you to the airport right now and get you on the first flight to Italy. You even know where in Italy they are?"

"Xander said they're stayin' in some small town few hours away from Milan. Dunno. Just know if I can get over there I'll find her one way or another."

"You won't need to go to Italy," Dawn said as she walked up behind them. "Buffy isn't in Italy anymore."

"Dawnie?" Faith said as she jumped up from the bench. "When did you get back?"

"An hour ago," she replied, looking and sounding absolutely exhausted.

"Is Buffy back too?" Faith asked, trying not to get her hopes up too much. "Dawn? Where is she?"

"At your apartment waiting for you."

"Marshall, tell the others I ducked out early," Faith said as she flicked her cigarette to the ground. He gave a nod and she wasted not a second more before running out of the cemetery and all the way back to the apartment.

Every part of her was so relieved she wouldn't have to trek all the way to Italy to find Buffy and bring her back home, but something felt a little off. She tried to shake it off as she ran up the stairs to the fifth floor and that ever familiar buzz she felt around Buffy hit her hard. As she approached the apartment door she took a few deep breaths, steadying herself, before finally walking in. There were suitcases piled up by the door, but as she looked around she didn't see Buffy anywhere. She felt her, though, and walked on into the bedroom to find her sitting on the floor by the closet taking out shoes from the dozens of boxes that lay scattered around her.

"Is this why ya stayed in Italy for an extra week, B?"

"No," she laughed as she got up from the floor and nearly jumped into Faith's arms. "Okay, yes. But it was so hard to resist!"

Faith chuckled as she held onto her for a good couple of minutes, just wanting to hold her in her arms as if she'd forgotten what it felt like to do just that. She felt like an idiot for spending the last three weeks moping around and letting it get to her head the way it had. She'd really believed Buffy wasn't coming back, especially after all the things Buffy had said to her before. A part of her wanted to call Buffy on the mind fuck she'd put her through, but she couldn't—not now that Buffy was softly kissing her neck and throwing her for a loop and a half. She had to stop her, she knew she did, but her body wasn't listening to her brain as Buffy leaned in and planted a soft, tender kiss on her lips.

"I'm so sorry about everything I said before I left and I am so sorry I never called you while we were there."

"B," she sighed as she dropped her arms from around her and sat down on the edge of the bed. "You needed to get outta here for awhile, I totally get that. Shoulda just said you needed a vacation instead of feeding me all that shit that...that really fucked with my head."

"I'm sorry," Buffy frowned as she sat down next to her. "God, Faith. With everything we've been through in the last couple of months, I just overreacted and yeah, I said a lot of stuff to you I probably shouldn't have said. I didn't want to fuck with your head. Honestly I didn't."

"I know."

"Angel being gone...it feels a little empty."

"And ya filled that emptiness with shoes?" Faith asked, chuckling softly when Buffy just rolled her eyes at her. "It feels a little empty for me too, B."

"I keep wishing that it could have been different. That we could have somehow fixed him, you know?" Buffy said, her voice filling with emotion as she reached for Faith's hand, intertwining their fingers as the first few tears began to fall. "Even how I felt when you left to...to kill him, I knew it was the right thing to do. I should've been there with you, Faith. Took me three weeks, but I realize that now."

"Don't wanna sound all needy 'n shit, but when I got back I really needed ya here, B. Y'know I was thinkin' tonight of seriously hopping on a plane and flying out to Italy to drag your ass back home."

"What, would you have slung me over your shoulder and carried me on the plane if I refused?"

"Nah," Faith smirked as she gently squeezed her hand. "You wouldn't have refused, B."

"You're right, I wouldn't have. I missed you so much, Faith. It took me being apart from you for three weeks to realize just how much you mean to me."

"And how much is that?"

"You are my world now," Buffy whispered softly as she moved to straddle Faith's legs, her hands gently cupping the brunette's face as she stared down into her eyes. "I'm more in love with you than I thought I was before I left. I was pretty upset over Angel. Okay, I was _really_ upset over Angel once I found out you'd faced him and killed him without much of a fight."

"I think even as Angelus he wanted it to happen, B. Wouldn't have been so fuckin' easy if it was any other way."

"I know. I know that now. God, I'm so sorry I said all those things to you. I thought if I left you'd move on, find someone else. I didn't mean it when I told you I wasn't coming back. When I said that I was...I was being so stubborn and selfish, but I—"

"Ain't nobody else for me," Faith said softly, smiling as Buffy leaned in for a very soft kiss. "And in case ya don't know this already, I love ya even if you are stubborn and selfish at times."

Faith wanted to ask her if she was dreaming all of this, if she'd been knocked on the head during patrol and had blacked out at one point or another. It felt real and it didn't and she hoped to hell this wasn't all a dream or she'd be really, really pissed off. She knew if she didn't love Buffy as much as she did, she wouldn't take her apology so easily and act as if everything that had happened wasn't such a big deal. In a way it wasn't, it just proved to her that Buffy had been confused before, confused about her feelings for Angel, for her, and that she'd been feeling god knows what else that made her say the things she did that had nearly ripped Faith's heart out of her chest.

"So, we're good now?" Faith asked softly, her fingers running over Buffy's smooth and very tanned legs, stopping at the hem of her shorts. "You ain't gonna leave like that again without me, are ya?"

"I won't leave like that again. I promise. Dawn and Andrew kept telling me how stupid it was to run away like that instead of being here with you."

"They speak nothing but the truth," Faith smirked, now struggling to control her libido as she felt Buffy's smooth skin under her fingertips. "We been through a lot of shit together, that was one more thing we had to get through. And before ya ask, B, no I didn't see anyone else while you were gone."

"I wasn't going to ask you that since I just knew you hadn't."

"Ya really trust me now, huh?"

"Of course I do, Faith. Every day you'd shown me a side of yourself you never bothered to show me before and every day you gave me a reason to completely trust you. I don't ever want that to change."

"Ain't gonna change, B. God, would ya listen to me? Sound like I'm pussy whipped here and if I didn't know any better I'd think ya were some crazy chick playin' head games with me."

Buffy laughed and shook her head, smiling as she ran her fingers gently through Faith's tousled hair. "Definitely not crazy, Faith. Sometimes I get a little unsure about things in my life and the thing with Angel kind of threw me for a pretty messy loop."

"Just like the ones you been throwing me for since the night ya first kissed me, huh?"

"Yeah. Shouldn't you be out on patrol right now?"

"Fuck patrol," Faith said under her breath as she pulled Buffy in for a kiss, stopping short just as their lips met. "I ain't seen ya in three weeks, ya really think I'm gonna be out there when I could be right here right now with you?"

Buffy thought for a moment, pouting slightly, and let out a small laugh as Faith leaned in and captured her bottom lip between her teeth. She sighed into the kiss, pulling Buffy impossibly closer to her as she deepened the kiss, easily finding herself lost within the warm confines of her lips and tongue. She pulled away slightly, kissing the pout that slipped out when she did, and she stared into Buffy's eyes, wondering how it was so possible just to suddenly forget the last three weeks of being apart.

"What are you thinking about?"

"You," Faith replied with a smile. "Fuck, B...sometimes I just...I dunno, with you I just forget about everything else and even now, just kissing you, it doesn't feel like you've been gone and yet it does at the same time. Does that even make any sense?"

"Perfect sense, because I'm feeling that way too right now."

They looked over at the bedroom door as Willow cleared her throat. "Isn't that so sweet?" She laughed as she shook her head at the two of them. "Sure didn't take you long to get over here, Faith."

"No," Faith smirked as she let Buffy get up from her lap. "What are you doin' here, Red?"

"Red?" Buffy asked as she raised an eyebrow. "Forget it. What _are_ you doing here?"

"Seems like nobody told me you were back home."

"Seriously need to make her wear a fuckin' bell," Faith muttered under her breath. She watched as Buffy walked over to sit back down near the stack of shoe boxes, continuing her interrupted task of removing the shoes from their boxes and placing them on the closet floor. "Seriously, B. How many fuckin' shoes did you buy?"

"I bet that's not even half of what she bought," Willow said with a laugh as she stood at the end of the bed. "Am I right, Buffy?"

Buffy's face flushed red a little and shrugged as she continued pulling the shoes from the boxes. Faith rolled her eyes, leaned back on her elbows, and watched Buffy. She turned to Willow, wanting to ask her to leave, but she didn't. As soon as Buffy finished up, she stood up and smirked at Faith who just laid there with an eyebrow raised, mildly amused.

"Will? Can we talk in the morning?" Buffy asked as she fidgeted with the hem of her shirt.

"You and Faith and some much needed alone time, huh?" Willow asked, smirking as she shook her head. "I get it. I just wanted to come see if you were back with my own two eyes. You know the younger girls and the way gossip just flutters through them. Don't know what to believe sometimes."

"Right."

"I'd give you a hug, but..." Willow laughed dryly. "Yeah. I'll come by in the morning. We'll talk and catch up then. I want to hear all about Italy and you better be prepared to tell me absolutely everything missy."

Faith laughed as she watched Willow leave, then reached out for Buffy and pulled her down on top of her. "Damn, 'bout fucking time. You're gonna hafta talk to her about just appearing in here outta nowhere, B."

Buffy nodded her head as Faith reached up and tucked her hair behind her ears before pulling her down for a deep, passionate kiss. She wanted to flip Buffy over, rip off her clothes and make love to her all night long, but she held herself back, getting lost in the kiss and in the feel of Buffy's body nearly flush against her own. It was no longer hard to push her libido aside, she'd done it plenty of times in the last three weeks, but as the kiss grew more intense and their hands began to wander, she felt that burning heat growing in the pit of her stomach and flooding to her core.

"Faith," Buffy sighed out as she broke away from the kiss, "you're buzzing."

"Fuck," she groaned as she reached for her cell in her pocket and checked to see who was calling. "It's only Perry."

Faith tossed the phone to the floor after she'd turned it off and pulled Buffy back in towards her. She had to blink a couple of times only to make sure she wasn't dreaming that Buffy really was back. She laughed as she started thinking about everything, about Angel, about the things Buffy had said to her that nearly broke her heart. But she thought more about Angel and the confrontation they had before she aimed the crossbow at him and pulled the trigger. She'd had so many dreams of that moment in the last three weeks and every time it went down differently. Sometimes there was a fight she barely could walk away from, other times it was easy just like it really had been.

"What are you thinking about?" Buffy asked as she stared down into Faith's eyes.

"Angel."

"Oh."

"It was too _easy_, Buffy."

"What did you expect then? Some epic fight to go down between you two?"

"I dunno."

"What happened?" Buffy asked as she moved to lay next to Faith instead of on top of her. "Tell me what happened, Faith."

"He found me. I was out walking around and I saw him. Followed him. We traded a few words, then it was over."

"How did you..."

"Crossbow."

"Your weapon of choice," Buffy said flatly. "How come he didn't fight?"

"Beats me," she shrugged as she stared up at the ceiling for a moment. "He thought you were the one coming to kill him. Maybe he woulda fought if you'd been there instead of me. Guess we'll never know now, will we?"

"Guess not. I half expected you to come back, telling me you couldn't do it, that you couldn't kill him or that you couldn't find him. You're right. Angel did want this. He wouldn't have made it so easy to put Angelus in front of you and let you take him out."

"He wasn't..."

"He wasn't what?"

"He wasn't Angelus when I killed him, B."

"You told me already."

Faith sighed as Buffy ran her fingers over her stomach, playing with the hem of her shirt and tickling the skin that was exposed near it. she just wanted to forget everything that had happened, she wanted to push it out of her mind and focus on the woman she loved that lay there next to her. It was hard, though, and in the last three weeks she'd gone through heartbreak and despair for nothing, really. Most of the last three weeks, if not longer, had felt like a dream to her and even now, she wasn't so sure if she was dreaming or if this really was real. It was almost how she'd felt when she was told that Jackie was her mother, but not quite the same.

"At least he's not going to be around to try to come between us."

"Yeah," Faith shrugged as she turned to look at her. "Sure makes ya wonder how many lines of bullshit he fed us that whole time."

"It doesn't matter anymore, Faith. It's over and we're here together now. If there's one other thing I realized while I was gone, it was how stupid I was to leave like that."

"B, I get it. You feel like ya fucked up by leavin' cos of what I had to do. I'm over it."

"How over it?"

"Enough to want to spend the rest of the night right here with you, preferably naked and makin' ya scream my name 'til your throat's raw and ya beg me to stop."

Buffy bit her lip as Faith rolled them over and stared down at her. "I think..." Buffy sighed as she smiled up at her. "I think that's the best way to spend any night, Faith."

"This is why you're my girl, B. Turned ya into a little sex fiend over the last little while. Unless," she laughed as she kissed her lightly, "ya always been like this and I just brought ya outta your shell."

"I've always been like this I think," Buffy replied softly, smiling right back at Faith as she slipped her hands under her shirt and raked her nails down her back. "It's just better with you. I think it's because I'm in love with you, Faith. Sometimes I'm so in love with you that it's hard to believe I am and it's hard to believe that we have this...this great relationship..."

"Not to mention a great sex life," Faith said pointedly, grinning with pride when Buffy nodded her head in agreement. She laughed when she realized how easy it was to go from thinking about Angel, about the last three weeks, about how she thought she'd lost Buffy for good, to thinking of ripping off her clothes and making love to her, fucking her, all night long.

"I want to make it up to you."

"Make what up to me, B? You being gone for three weeks?" Faith asked, and Buffy only nodded in reply, looking a little shameful at that. "Only thing you can do is kiss me, B. That'll be a nice start to the whole making up thing ya wanna do."

"And then?"

"And then," Faith said slowly as she moved to one side and trailed her fingers to the hem of Buffy's shirt, "you can stop thinking about the past and focus on one thing right here and now."

"What's that?"

"This," Faith said as she slipped her hand under Buffy's shirt and ran it up to cup her breast through the soft lace bra. She could feel the nipple harden as her thumb brushed over it and she could only smirk as Buffy closed her eyes and tried not to let out the moan she knew was coming. She moved her hand from her breast and back down her taut stomach, whispering the words against her lips as she fumbled with the button on her shorts, "and this too."

Buffy pulled her down for a deep kiss as Faith slipped her hand into the blonde's shorts and under the waistband of her panties, her fingers teasing the skin as Buffy tried to raise her hips, to encourage her to keep going without teasing her. Buffy was already wet for her, which was no surprise to either of them, and Faith deftly slipped her middle finger over Buffy's clit and moaned into her mouth as Buffy's hips jerked up at the touch. It wouldn't take much to get her to come and Faith knew that one touch from Buffy would send her tumbling over the edge herself. Since they'd been together, they'd never gone more than a day without sex and three weeks was just _too_ long for both of them.

Buffy was tugging at her clothes, trying to get them off, but Faith wasn't having any of it, at least not just yet. They had the whole rest of the night for themselves and the last thing Faith wanted to do was rush things between them. It was a far cry from her former self, hard and fast, get some get gone, and she wouldn't have it any other way or with anyone else. She mentally had her fingers crossed and tried to keep her mind focused on the feel of Buffy's pussy as her fingers slid between her folds and dipped teasingly into her hot, wet hole. The heat was scorching and it filled her in ways she never thought possible. If she was addicted to anything now, it was to Buffy and the way she could make her come within minutes if she didn't tease her.

"Clothes...off..." Buffy groaned as she broke away from the kiss, gasping as Faith shook her head no and plunged a finger deep inside of her.

"Later," Faith whispered, her lips trailing over Buffy's as she gasped again. "Right now I just need to be inside of you. I need to make you feel the way I know you needed to feel for the last three weeks."

"Fuck..."

"I need to make you know that you belong to me and I plan to spend the entire night doing just that."

"Faith..."

"I'm gonna fuck you so good ya won't be able to move, much less walk. That's how you'll know you are mine. That's how you'll know that the last three weeks I've done nothing but think of you and dream of you."

Buffy moaned softly as Faith's lips met hers in a crushing kiss. The last three weeks were about to come crashing down on both of them and Faith was trying to keep some control over her raging libido even though the urge to truly mark Buffy as her own was almost too strong. Buffy was squirming beneath her as her fingers pumped in and out of her at a blinding pace. She could almost feel Buffy's eyes roll back as she deepened the kiss even more, never stopping, not even for a second, until Buffy clutched at her back as her orgasm almost literally ripped through her.

Faith tried to move, but Buffy was holding on to her so tightly that she couldn't just yet. She wiggled her fingers still buried inside of Buffy's pussy and chuckled softly as Buffy then pushed her off roughly. Faith just laid there on her side just staring over at Buffy, watching as her flushed face turned back to normal and she had a look of complete contentment on her face. After a couple minutes passed and Buffy didn't say a word or even open her eyes, Faith knew she'd fallen asleep. Normally it'd bother her, but right now it didn't and she wasn't so sure why.

She stayed there for a little while just watching Buffy sleep, her eyes memorizing every inch of her anew even though she'd never forget even the smallest detail no matter how long they'd spent apart. When she heard the soft snores she slipped off the bed and out of the bedroom, taking one last long look at Buffy before she flipped off the light and quietly closed the door behind her. The last three weeks had been emotionally and physically draining and even though she'd hoped for more tonight, it felt like enough. For now.

Faith took in a few deep breaths before she headed for the fridge and grabbed a cold beer off the top shelf. As she took her beer out onto the balcony with her and sat down on the plastic chair she could faintly hear Kennedy and Satsu in the apartment next door. The sounds of the city also drifted on the breeze, and although it was the middle of the night they were calming to her. She'd never survive in a small, middle of nowhere town. The quietness would literally kill her slowly and surely.

"Busy?" Willow asked, nearly making Faith jump from the chair. "No? Mind if I join you for awhile?"

"I'd say take a seat, but I don't think ya need to sit or whatever," Faith shrugged, trying to shake it off. "And I was fuckin' serious about you wearin' a bell or somethin', Red."

"Sorry," she muttered under her breath. "I heard you come out. I thought you and Buffy would've been in there all night."

"So did I."

"Everything okay between you two?"

"Yeah. Guess so. Thought it woulda been worse considerin' why she left and everything."

Willow nodded and looked out over the city, at least what they could see. Faith echoed her sigh as she cracked open her beer and downed nearly half the bottle in one go. As much as she wanted to be left alone, she kind of felt bad for Willow. Having died and come back the way she was and have her whole life changed couldn't be easy to deal with. In the few talks they'd had, random bursts of words that barely passed for conversation, Faith had nonetheless learned that Willow would rather be anywhere but there and as she was. She'd felt like that most of her life until things started changing between her and Buffy.

She tried to clear her mind of everything that had unfolded over the last couple of weeks. She tried not to think of Angel and how things went down, how easy it was. She tried not to think about how Buffy had left. None of it seemed to matter now. Buffy was back and she seemed like she was back to her normal self, at least her normal self that she'd been in the time they'd been together. She tried not to think of all the overpowering emotions she'd been feeling since they'd all arrived in Cleveland, but it was hard—especially when every breath she took, she felt _everything_.

She closed her eyes and let her thoughts drift out as sirens could be heard a short distance away. She thought of what Buffy said to her before, about her being her world now. She felt exactly the same way and she wondered if she always had. Honestly, though? She already knew the answer to that. It was yes, she always had.


	42. Chapter 42

Saturday mornings had become the only time Faith was able to use the training room alone. Bright and early, an hour before the sun rose, she found herself down there punching the bag in time to the driving hard rock music that blared over the sound system Xander had installed. Punch, punch, jab, kick and repeat. She found herself so lost in her rhythm she hadn't even heard Buffy come in the training room. She did feel the small hairs on the back of her neck stand up slightly as Buffy actually approached her, though, and she punched the bag one last time before she spun around and wrapped her arms around her.

"Morning," Buffy laughed as Faith leaned in for a kiss only to find herself being pushed away. "You're all sweaty, Faith."

"Ya never complained about that before."

"No," she laughed again as she watched Faith pick up the water bottle off the floor and down the contents in one go. "I never complained before because we were getting all sweaty together."

"Well, don't let me stop ya," Faith chuckled as she wiggled her eyebrows.

"I am so not in the mood to train right now and besides," Buffy said as she walked over to her and wrapped her arms around her, no longer seeming to care how sweaty Faith was. "I was wondering where you went off to so early this morning. I thought I felt you get out of bed."

"Always come down here this early."

"Do you?"

"Only time I get the room to myself without those annoying brats around."

"They all can't be that bad."

"Oh yeah?" Faith asked as she raised an eyebrow at that. "You ain't been around in the last three weeks, B. Spend two hours with 'em in here and you'll wanna pull your hair out."

"I completely agree," Kennedy said as she walked into the training room with Satsu close behind her. "They are all fucking annoying. I wonder if we can ask Giles for some time off and let him and the other Watchers deal with training them."

"Not gonna happen, Ken," Faith said with a smirk as Buffy dropped her arms from around her and went to sit on the bench along the wall. "You know he's all 'train the girls, patrol according to the schedule and behave yourselves' these days."

"I miss having an actual social life!" Kennedy whined as she and Satsu sat down on the mats and began stretching out. "Don't you miss it, Faith?"

"Got enough of a social life with B and you guys to keep me satisfied. Besides, it's Saturday night. None of us has to be out on patrol tonight. You know what that means."

"What does it mean?" Buffy asked as Faith sat on the bench next to her.

"Goin' out dancing, of course."

"But of course," Buffy laughed as she grabbed onto Faith's hand and intertwined their fingers. "Gives me a reason to wear one of my new pairs of shoes."

"Of course it does, but it ain't like ya need a place to go to wear 'em."

"This is very true."

Kennedy laughed at Buffy, who then shot the younger slayer a look that made Faith chuckle under her breath. She missed this, just being around Buffy and Kennedy, even being around Satsu and acting like they were nothing but a bunch of normal twenty-somethings just hanging out on a Saturday morning. Faith couldn't take her eyes off of Buffy and it seemed like Buffy couldn't stop looking at her either. Her body was aching to continue with training, though, since she hadn't had enough of it that morning and she hated denying her body a full-fledged workout. After sharing a brief kiss with Buffy, she joined Satsu and Kennedy on the mats and began to stretch out, feeling her muscles burn in appreciation.

She barely even noticed that Buffy had left and come back wearing her sweats and one of her tank tops. It wasn't until Satsu and Kennedy began sparring that Buffy suddenly pulled her to the far side of the mats and teasingly threw a lazy punch her way. She saw the sparkle in Buffy's eyes and that was all she needed to start what she knew would be a long hour of sparring together. She just hoped it wouldn't get out of hand since they weren't exactly alone and the younger Slayers would be coming in to start their morning training soon. After a few kicks and punches were exchanged, and blocked, Buffy had her pinned to the mats, her lips mere inches from her own.

"Damn, B. Thought you bein' away for three weeks woulda made ya soft."

"Never," she whispered before stealing a kiss. "I will never go soft."

"Unless I do this," Faith responded as she pulled her down for a deep, scorching kiss, no longer caring that Satsu and Kennedy had stopped sparring and were watching them. Buffy moaned softly and Faith used that moment to flip her over. "See, ya went soft."

"Bitch."

"I may be a bitch, but I'm your bitch."

"Never forget it."

"Aren't they just so sweet?" Kennedy said aloud, her voice just dripping with sarcasm. "Seriously, you two are just...you are so sweet and cute it makes me want to puke."

"Jealous?" Faith asked as she got up from Buffy and helped her to her feet. "I can recall a few times I've walked in here and you and Satsu are on the mats fucking like lust bunnies."

Satsu blushed a deep red and Kennedy just smirked proudly. Buffy only smacked Faith across the arm hard for bringing it up without a care in the world and she looked over at Kennedy, flashing an equally smug grin her way. Faith eyed Buffy up and down, wanting nothing more than to continue their sparring session, but as a few of the younger girls started to come into the training room she knew that going all out with Buffy was out of the question now.

For an hour they sparred together, holding themselves back and showing some of the younger girls a few moves that would come in handy if they found themselves cornered by a few vampires. By the time the training room was packed, Buffy was done with training and she kept looking at Faith, trying to urge her to come back up to the apartment with her. They managed to slip out of there as Giles, Bryce, and two other Watchers came in to check on the girls and start with their daily training schedule. Kennedy and Satsu weren't that far behind them and they all laughed as they ran up the stairs, dodging a few of the girls who were late for training and trying to run down the stairs without falling.

"What time ya wanna head out later?" Faith asked Kennedy as they headed down the hallway together, Buffy and Satsu trailing a little bit behind them. "I was thinkin' nine would be good, give us plenty of time to get into the club and dance for a couple hours."

"Nine is good."

"Do ya know if Xander and Dawn are gonna come with?"

"No clue. They've been spending a lot of time alone these days," Kennedy said quietly and she looked back at Buffy for a second. "You know what a horn dog Xander is. He missed Dawn like crazy the last couple of weeks so I imagine he's going to want to do nothing but spend a few days locked in a bedroom with her."

"Can't blame him. All I wanna do with B too."

They both laughed and went into their apartments. Buffy followed Faith about half a minute later with a look in her eyes that showed she was clearly pissed. Faith didn't ask her what was wrong as she stripped out of her sweaty clothes on the way to the bathroom. She half-expected Buffy to be right there behind her, but she went right for the bedroom and slammed the door shut behind her. Faith sighed out as she turned on the water in the shower and waited for it to heat up before stepping in.

Buffy had been in a weird mood since the night before and rather than question it, Faith knew she had to just let that mood of Buffy's run its course without her making it any worse by saying something to her about it. She had a quick shower, grabbed her robe, and slipped it on as she walked out of the bathroom. Buffy was no longer in the bedroom now and she saw her standing at the stove cooking scrambled eggs with the radio on. She was humming along to the song playing and Faith smiled as she stepped up behind her and wrapped her arms around her.

"Hungry?" Buffy asked as she turned her head a little to look at her.

"I'm always hungry, B."

"Just thought I'd ask."

"Hmm," Faith murmured as she trailed her lips over the side of her neck and up to her ear. "Smells fucking delicious, babe."

"It's just scrambled eggs."

"I know," Faith laughed as she slipped her hands under the hem of Buffy's shirt and smoothed her palms over her stomach. "You are talking to the chick that can't even make scrambled eggs without burning them or herself."

"You can cook, you're just impatient sometimes."

Faith laughed as she waited for Buffy to put the eggs on two plates and turn off the stove before she spun her around and captured her lips in a deep, passionate kiss. Even though she was completely starved, and the rumbling in her stomach was evidence of that, she needed Buffy. She needed to kiss her, to touch her, to lick her, to feel her flush against her. Three weeks was far too long and the night before hadn't been enough to satisfy that itch she'd felt growing in the three weeks Buffy had been gone. Before she could start to pull Buffy away from the stove, Buffy broke away from the kiss and shook her head no.

"I'm hungry," she said pointedly before running her hands over Faith's stomach as it rumbled again. "And I know you are too, so let's just eat, okay?"

"Fine," Faith muttered under her breath, pouting as Buffy turned to grab both plates and a couple forks and headed over to the table. "Soon as we finish eating..."

"You want to eat me?" Buffy quipped, and Faith smirked as she ran her tongue over her lips sensually, eliciting a small moan from Buffy in response. "I missed this."

"This?" Faith asked as she sat down at the table and shoved a few forkfuls of eggs into her mouth.

"Just being...us. I missed it."

"Keep that in mind next time ya wanna get gone for a little while."

Buffy nodded slowly, her eyes falling to her plate as she sighed heavily. "You know I needed to get away for a little while after what you had to do to Angel."

"I know, B. Was just making a point."

"I miss him."

"I do too."

"I kept having these dreams while I was in Italy," she said softly, still keeping her eyes on her plate as she pushed her food around. "I kept dreaming that everything was okay. That he never...and that you never had to...and then I'd wake up and I'd know that it isn't a dream, that it really happened and that I'll never see him again. I keep thinking that I should've known something was off about him. I should've seen it, Faith, and I didn't."

"B, don't be so fuckin' hard on yourself. None of us saw it."

Faith saw the few tears slide down her cheeks and she resisted that urge to reach out and wipe them away for her. She ate the rest of her scrambled eggs, only looking up at Buffy every time she heard her sniffle as she tried to stop the tears. She knew she had to let Buffy let it out without interfering, but it broke her heart to see Buffy like this and all she wanted to do was make it better somehow. She finished off her plateful of eggs and sat back, sighing in contentment that her stomach as now pretty much full and satisfied.

She waited for Buffy to finish before clearing the table and putting the dishes in the sink. She kept looking back over at Buffy as she filled the sink with warm, soapy water and she saw that Buffy had a distant look in her eyes as she just stared blankly ahead. She knew exactly how she felt when it came to Angel; she'd felt the same way in the last three weeks herself. It was like a hole, a void that couldn't be filled. Angel had been her salvation, he'd been the one who set her on her path to redemption and there'd been moments when she thought she'd fall off that path now that he was gone, that without him she'd lose all hope of ever fully redeeming herself.

Everything would get back to normal, but one thing she knew for certain these days was that it would take time. The only thing she didn't know was how much time it would actually take for not just her, but for Buffy to get over and accept that Angel was truly gone now. It did cut her a little deep to know that Buffy was falling apart because of him, especially now that they were together, but she always knew how Buffy felt about Angel. That was her first real love, a love that was deep, and it was a type of love that wouldn't go away easily or quickly, and most certainly not in these few short weeks since his final death.

Faith knew how Buffy felt about her; she knew that Buffy loved her. It was something she just didn't question anymore. She could feel it and see it every time they just looked at each other, but that pain from Angel being gone was there now too. It tore her up inside knowing that even with a lot of time to heal, that pain would never quite go away. It'd always be there because _she_ had been the one that killed Angel. If it had been anyone else, she knew it wouldn't be quite that way whenever Buffy looked at her.

"Hey," Faith said softly as she walked over to Buffy before leaning down to kiss the top of her head gently. "You okay, babe?"

"Tired."

"You wanna go back to bed for a little while?"

"No," she sighed as she shook her head. "I just...I don't even know anymore."

Faith pulled her up from the chair and wrapped her arms around her. "B, it's okay. I know how you feel right now. Don't forget I can feel everything you feel."

"Still?"

"Crazy, ain't it?" Faith laughed as she shook her head and lifted her hands to wipe away the tears that started to fall from Buffy's eyes. "Tell me how I can make it better, B. Fuckin' can't stand to see ya like this."

Buffy said nothing as she pulled Faith in for a kiss. It was soft and tender at first until she plunged her tongue into Faith's mouth and began to walk her backwards towards the bedroom. Faith could tell from the intensity of the kiss that Buffy was trying to push all her other feelings and thoughts down so she'd forget about everything. Faith could feel her whole body react to the intensity of the kiss and to the feel of Buffy's hands roaming furiously over her body as they made their way to the bedroom.

The instant Buffy had the belt to her robe untied, Faith shrugged it off and began tugging at Buffy's clothes, determined to get her naked as fast as she could. Buffy kept pushing her hands away and she broke away from the kiss with a growl and nearly ripped her shirt off. When their lips met again, it was almost bruising and Buffy grabbed her wrists and held them away from her as she forced Faith down on the bed. She pulled back from the kiss as she raked her nails down across Faith's breasts and stomach, leaving light scratch marks in their wake. She stood at the foot of the bed and slid out of her shorts with a sly smile across her lips.

"Damn, you're fuckin' sexy, B."

Buffy laughed softly, running her hands over her body as she stepped out of her shorts and kicked them off to the side. She unclasped her bra and slid it off slowly and Faith couldn't help but lick over her lips hungrily as she watched her. She stood before her in only her white panties, ones that barely covered anything at all. Faith blinked a few times as she waited for Buffy to shed her panties and join her in bed, watching intently as the blonde slayer ever so slowly ran her hands down her stomach before hooking her thumbs along the top of her panties and beginning to pull them down.

"I think you're drooling," Buffy smirked as she reached out and wiped the corners of Faith's mouth.

"Can't blame me when I got a fuckin' goddess standing in front of me lookin' sexy as fuck."

Faith pulled Buffy down for a kiss, but let her stay standing at the foot of the bed in front of her. She ran the tip of her tongue down across her breasts slowly, looking up to see Buffy's eyes slide shut as her lips wrapped around a semi-hard nipple. She licked and nipped her way down her stomach, grabbing onto her hips and spinning her around so she was lying down on the bed before she reached her bellybutton. She let Buffy move up the bed a little before she began to kiss up the inside of her left thigh as she spread her legs open slowly. Her mouth was already watering by the time she reached her pussy and took a tentative lick, trying not to smirk as Buffy raised her hips and bit back a moan.

Faith was in no mood to take things slow, and from the way Buffy was squirming as she blew warm air over her already soaking pussy, she knew she wasn't in any position to complain about her almost literally diving in face first. Oh, what she wouldn't give to hear Buffy tell her to lick her cunt. Faith never had worked up the courage to try dirty talk in bed with Buffy, though. It was what she used to do with those nameless people she randomly slept with and she wanted to keep that part of her life as far behind her as she could. Still, there were times like this that she surely did miss it.

She was teasing Buffy with every small lick, with every slight flick of her clit she made with either her tongue or her fingers, and she was loving every reaction she was getting from her. From the whimpering moans to the gasps and the silent pleading to stop teasing her, it turned her on to no end and the ache between her legs grew with every rapid beat of her heart. Buffy gripped onto her head, her fingers intertwining in her hair and she pulled her in closer, clearly unable to take the teasing Faith was unleashing on her for much longer.

She missed this—she missed the slight aggressiveness Buffy showed at times and she missed the way Buffy tasted, the way her body would react to every kiss and every touch. She missed Buffy, all of her, and she hadn't had enough time the night before to show her just how much she did. Not being one to deny her woman pleasure she was obviously seeking out, she spread her folds with her fingers and latched her lips around her clit and sucked hard. She shifted slightly to get a little more comfortable and when she couldn't, she pulled Buffy down to the edge of the bed as she knelt on the floor and draped Buffy's legs over her shoulders.

Buffy was moaning almost constantly as Faith slid a finger deep inside of her and rubbed against her g-spot, sucking and licking at her clit at a pace she knew would have Buffy coming in minutes. She didn't plan to stop after she came either. She planned to keep going until her jaw and tongue were too sore to continue, or at least until Buffy physically forced her to stop.

"Fuck, B...never can get over how fuckin' delicious ya taste," she moaned softly before she slid her finger out and quickly replaced it with her tongue.

"Faith..." Buffy gasped as she spread her legs wider, sliding them off of Faith's shoulders and allowing her more room to plunge her tongue in deeper. "Oh god, Faith..."

Faith's lips and chin were covered in Buffy's secretions as she continued to fuck her with her tongue. She moved her thumb over her clit, rubbing fast circles over it as she felt Buffy's pussy pull her tongue in as the first waves of her orgasm began to wash over her. She pulled her tongue out and sucked at her hole as she came hard and fast and she swore she felt herself have a tiny ripple of her own orgasm as she sucked Buffy dry. She gave her a minute, barely, to recover before she plunged her tongue back inside her hole, feeling her quiver and tense up as she continued to fuck her with her tongue.

Buffy was pulling on her hair and she pulled back, gasping for breath as she looked up at her. the only thoughts that ran through her mind was how sexy she thought Buffy looked in her post-orgasm glow with her body covered in a light sheen of sweat and her lips parted slightly as she struggled to catch her breath.

"Baby," Buffy breathed out as her eyes slid shut. "Come here."

Faith groaned softly and placed a light kiss over her clit before crawling up over her body and planting an equally light kiss upon her lips. "Had enough already, B?"

"No I..."

"Mm?"

"I think..." she gasped out as Faith gently cupped her pussy and teased her hole with her middle finger. "I think it's my turn."

"We take turns now, B?" Faith asked, grinning as she raised an eyebrow at her. "Just waitin' for ya to get all dom on me again, babe."

"Oh you like it when I do, don't you?"

"Fuck yeah I do," she laughed as Buffy rolled her eyes and didn't make a move. "What, not feelin' up to it today, B?"

"Of course I am..."

"But?"

"But I...jesus, Faith. You don't realize what you do to me when you..."

"Lick ya? Fuck ya with my tongue?"

"Yes..." Buffy trailed off, stifling a moan as Faith slid a solitary finger inside of her, still teasing her.

She tucked Faith's damp hair behind her ears before pulling her in for a deep kiss, raising her hips in time to the finger slowly fucking her. Faith was waiting for her to touch her, to make her come too. Her orgasm just bubbling just under the surface, aching to spill over and come out hard and fast, just like always, but Buffy was holding herself back, focused only on the pleasure she was receiving and nothing else. Faith didn't want to have to beg her to touch her; she knew she would once she came down from her high.

She groaned softly against Buffy's lips as the blonde trailed her nails down her back roughly. Buffy slid her thigh in between Faith's legs and pulled her down, eliciting a moan from both of them as Faith plunged a second finger inside her. Buffy could hardly keep herself under control, her hips rising and falling with every movement of Faith's fingers. The friction from Buffy's strong thigh firmly pressing and sliding against her pussy was almost enough to get her off and she could feel the tension and frustration building inside of her. It caused her to slide a third finger inside of Buffy.

"Oh fuck," Buffy cried out as she pulled back from her lips. She moved a hand between them and deftly slid a finger over Faith's wet slit before easily sliding a finger inside of her. "Harder."

"Harder?" Faith questioned, feeling a little dazed by the intensity she was feeling coming off of Buffy. "Are ya sure, babe?"

Buffy just pulled her down for a hard kiss, their tongues dancing furiously as they fucked each other hard and fast. Faith knew she'd be sore if she kept it up, but she quickly pushed that thought to the back of her mind as Buffy slid a second and then a third finger deep inside of her, filling her and making her shudder in pure ecstasy. She rode her hand, her hips bucking wildly as she struggled to keep up with the pace Buffy was setting between them.

Faith parted from the kiss, her lips still brushing against Buffy's as she gasped out for breath, feeling her orgasm begin to flood through her entire body. Buffy was holding hers back, waiting so they could come together just as she usually tried to do. Tried and failed. It's not as if Faith ever cared or thought it mattered even if it was that much more intense for them to come together. She growled when she heard someone knock on the door and then kissed Buffy to keep her from yelling out at whoever was there.

"Why can't we ever be left alone?" Buffy whispered in annoyance as she pulled back from the kiss.

"Beats me, B. Nobody seems to know the meaning of privacy around here."

"I kind of wish that we were still in that place. At least there we could be together and Jackie was pretty considerate about leaving us alone."

"I kinda wish we were too sometimes. Everything seemed so much fuckin' simpler there. We come back and everything is all fucked up and why the hell are we even talkin' about this _now_?"

Faith kissed her yet again, trying to push back their short talk and just get back to feeling where she'd been mere minutes before. It wasn't very often that Buffy would start talking right before they both came and she hated it when she did since it seemed harder to get back to that point. Faith fucked her fingers harder in and out of Buffy, feeling her do the same right back until it bordered that fine line between pain and pleasure.

Faith could barely hold herself over Buffy as her arm began to shake. She moved to lie next to her, not once slowing her fingers and not even breaking away from their kiss. Buffy seemed to take that as her cue to be on top and she was instantly hovering over Faith, fucking her harder and deeper, grinding the palm of her hand into her clit with every other hard thrust of her fingers. She could only faintly hear voices out in the hallway as the knocking on the door resumed, but she let them fade away just like everything else as she broke away from the kiss and stared deeply into Buffy's eyes.

"Close, babe?" Faith asked softly, gasping as her orgasm began to take flight deep inside of her. "I'm so close, B."

"Mm, me too, baby."

Faith slowed her thrusts, burying her fingers inside of her and stroked Buffy's g-spot, watching as he eyes rolled back and she let out a rather feral moan as she let herself go. She reluctantly took her fingers out and pulled Buffy's hand away. She ran her hands down Buffy's back as she settled between her legs and they rode out their orgasm, every roll of their hips grinding their pussies into each other's and drawing out a rather intense orgasm.

Faith kept her arms wrapped around Buffy, needing to feel her flush against her, needing to feel her heart beating almost in time with her own, needing just to hold her, ride out what felt like the most intense orgasm she'd had since before Buffy had taken off for three long, lonely weeks. She felt like she was floating in a daze and she'd nearly forgotten there was someone at the door until the knocking became louder and clearer than it had been before.

"Fuckin' ignore 'em, B. They'll go away," she groaned as she held onto Buffy to keep her from getting up.

"It could be important, Faith."

"So? Don't think anything is more important to me right now than bein' right here with you."

Buffy sighed, sliding down Faith's body a little bit and laying her head down on her chest as she played with the ends of her still-damp hair. Every breath she took danced across Faith's skin, over her breasts and over the semi-hard nipple that was just aching for attention. She was very aware of every inch of her body and every inch of her body just wanted to be devoured and worshipped by Buffy. Nobody had ever been able to touch her quite the way Buffy did and nobody had ever made her feel the way Buffy did either. She had to wonder if it was because they were in love with each other, truly and deeply in love, or if it was because it was Buffy that she was with that made her feel that way.

"Faith? Buffy? I know you're in there!" Xander yelled out as the knocking on the door turned into pounding. "Don't make me use my spare key!"

"He has a key?" Buffy asked as she lifted her head to look at Faith. "Since when does he have a key?"

"It's a master key. Opens every door in this place. I got one too."

"Oh. Why do I get the feeling I missed way too much being away for three weeks?"

"Cos ya did?"

Faith didn't mean for it to come out sounding so bitter, but with Xander interrupting their alone time she couldn't help it. Before Buffy could say anything back she pulled her in for another kiss, hoping if they didn't answer that Xander would leave them alone and whatever he wanted them so urgently for could wait just a little while longer. A whole day longer. When Buffy ended the kiss far too soon for her liking and got off the bed, she groaned as she leaned up on her elbows to watch as the blonde grabbed some clean clothes and quickly got dressed.

"Y'know, the whole point of us being here was to have our time together," Faith muttered under her breath. "Everything went and fucking changed on us."

"So what do you want to do about that, Faith?"

"Who knows," she shrugged. "Could always go back to the house or find another place nearby."

"You really want to do that?"

"Course I do, B. I wanna be with _you_, I wanna have _our_ time together without anyone fuckin' interrupting us. I know you want it too, B. This is never gonna end as long as we're here."

"We're needed here."

"Wish ya woulda figured that out _before_ ya took off for three fuckin' weeks."

"Can we not do this right now?" Buffy asked, her voice trembling as Faith got out of bed and quickly threw on some clothes, skipping a bra and panties since she just couldn't be bothered. "I really don't like fighting and arguing with you, Faith."

"Like I do?"

"It's not supposed to be like this," Buffy sighed. "We just..."

"I know," Faith said as she stopped her from walking out of the bedroom. "I'm sorry."

"I tried to get us back to the way it was before...before...and it's not that easy," she said quietly as she took in a few deep breaths and quickly wiped away the tears that began to fall. "It's still going to take some time for us to get back there, Faith."

"I know that, B. Don't worry about it. We'll get there."

"Will we?"

"Sure," she said with a smile that surprisingly didn't feel forced despite the situation they now found themselves in. "Look at all the shit we got over, together and on our own. This is nothing compared to the shit we've been through in the past."

Faith could hardly believe the stuff coming out of her mouth and yet she meant every last word of it. Buffy just smiled sweetly at her and pulled her in for a deep kiss that made her weak in the knees. It made her forget far too easily about the words they'd just exchanged and it made her drown out the sound of Xander still pounding on the door. She pulled back when she heard the key slide into the lock and they both rolled their eyes before walking out of the bedroom just as Xander was letting himself inside.

"Where's the fuckin' fire?" Faith asked as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Urgent meeting."

"We take weekends off, Xand."

"Not when there are problems with a few of the girls," he replied as he motioned for them both to follow him. "Oh and sorry for...you know, bothering you two."

"Better be fuckin' sorry," Faith muttered under her breath as they walked out of the apartment and followed him down the hallway towards the stairs. "So what's the big problem with the girls? They fightin' again?"

Xander nodded as they walked down the first few flights of stairs. She knew he wouldn't explain since it wasn't up to him to do just that. They didn't say anything else as they walked down to where Giles' office was and found themselves in the middle of a rather heated fight between Carmen and one of the younger girls, Jessie. Faith pulled Carmen away from her and shoved her halfway across the room. It hadn't been the first time the two of them had gotten into it. They were both short fuses who did not get along what so ever and she was getting tired of playing referee when it came to them.

Giles cleared his throat and pointed to the couch along the one wall. Jessie reluctantly sat down and Faith made sure Carmen sat on the other end before she placed herself in between them. Buffy and Xander just stood by the doorway watching as the little scene unfolded before them.

"What's the big fuckin' problem this time?" Faith asked as she looked at Carmen then over at Jessie. "I thought you two were gonna grow the fuck up and leave each other alone?"

"She started it," Jessie said under her breath. "It isn't my fault she's a stupid bitch!"

"We were sparring," Carmen said calmly. "_I_ didn't start anything. _She_ is the one who threw that punch that nearly knocked me out! I was only retaliating in self-defence."

"Girls," Giles said sternly as he stood in front of them and motioned for Faith to move from the couch. "I do not know what is going on between you two."

"I hate her," they both responded at the same time and it caused Faith to burst out laughing as she joined Buffy by the door.

"You know the rules here. You both know that you cannot be fighting amongst yourselves when you should be training. If you cannot focus on your training you'll put your lives and anyone else that is around you in danger when you are out on patrol. I cannot stress how important it is for the two of you to set your differences aside."

"This is gettin' old, ain't it, Giles?" Faith asked as she leaned against the doorframe. He shot her a glare that warned her to keep her mouth shut and to let him deal for the time being. "Sorry."

"Why are we even here?" Buffy asked her softly as Giles talked to both of the girls quietly. "Are we here in case they decide to try to kill each other?"

"Yeah," Faith nodded as she casually slipped her arm around Buffy's waist and pulled her in close to her side. "That and I bet Giles is gonna want to talk to us after about how to deal with 'em. I swear Carmen has been nothin' but a pain in all our asses since she got here."

"She has," Xander said under his breath and he and Faith both chuckled softly. "You know who those two remind me of?"

"Us?" Faith asked as she leaned in and kissed Buffy lightly on the cheek. "Definitely reminds you of us way back when, huh?"

Buffy raised an eyebrow in slight amusement as Jessie and Carmen kept shooting each other death glares while Giles continued to try to talk them down. She was barely paying any attention when Giles turned to them. She knew he was asking them for a favour, most likely to keep an eye on the two girls to make sure they really didn't try to kill each other, but she was too engrossed in watching Buffy and her reaction to the whole situation they were being put in the middle of. Buffy really had missed a lot in the last three weeks and it'd take a little while for her to get used to the way things really were around there.

"Faith? Did you hear a word I said?" Giles asked tiredly, letting out a pained sigh as he took in Faith's guilty look. "I want you and Buffy to take those two out on patrol tonight and yes," he said as he held up his hand before Faith could protest, "I know you have requested weekends off, but this situation needs to be dealt with."

She let out a dejected sigh, knowing their night out was definitely out of the picture now. She shook her head as she dropped her arm around from Buffy and tried not to show her disappointment and anger that they would have to deal with Jessie and Carmen instead of living what could resemble a semi-normal life that night. It was just the way things were right now. She _really_ hoped they wouldn't always be that way, now more than ever.


	43. Chapter 43

Faith walked behind Buffy, taking one long drag after another from her third—possibly fourth—cigarette since they headed out on patrol. Jessie was walking next to her, acting like the spoiled brat Faith had come to know her as. Carmen was ahead of them by a good ten feet, twirling her stake without a single care in the world. It was going to be a long night and Faith wanted to be anywhere but there. She knew Buffy did too, she could feel it coming off her in waves.

They were supposed to monitor Carmen and Jessie, make sure they worked as a team on patrol instead of trying to kill each other, but so far things weren't going as planned. It was aggravating Faith and she wanted nothing more than to set the two of them straight in her own way. Her way being leaving them alone to fight each other and put themselves at risk with all the things that went bump in the night that were just lurking in the shadows, waiting for their moment to come out and play.

"It's going to be a slow night," Buffy said quietly as she hung back and let Faith catch up with her.

"Thinkin' we should leave them two alone for a little while."

"Are you crazy?"

"Probably," Faith chuckled as she flicked her cigarette to the ground. "They're gonna hafta learn to cut the shit and play nice sooner or later, right?"

"Preferably without trying to kill each other first," Buffy replied quietly, slipping an arm around Faith's waist as they both leaned up against a tree at the side of the pathway. "Even we weren't as bad as they are with each other."

"No, but then again we never had the chance to get like that."

Faith sounded rather bitter and she didn't want to get into this with Buffy now. They wanted to leave their past behind and move on as best as they could and she was fully determined to do just that. She just wanted to stay happy with Buffy, to stay in love, to keep from drifting apart. Three weeks without Buffy had been torture on her mind, on her soul, and her heart and she never again wanted to have to go through feeling that again for as long as she could help it.

"Everything feels different," Buffy whispered as she leaned into Faith, both watching as Carmen and Jessie exchange a look before walking off in separate directions. "Not with you, but everything here feels different now, Faith."

"It is different now, B. Been that way since ya left."

"I keep thinking about Angel. I keep thinking about what you've told me about facing him, about how easy it was for you to take him out."

"Like I said, I'm thinkin' he wanted it to be that easy, B. Thinkin' that the way things were headed for him, he decided he was fuckin' done. Wanted out."

"I'm going to miss him like crazy. I already do."

"I know," she sighed as she leaned over and kissed the side of Buffy's head gently. "I'm gonna miss him like crazy too, B. Wherever he is now, he's in a better place."

"Is he?"

"Could be? Who knows? Now's probably not a good time to talk about this shit, B."

"It'll never be a good time," Buffy groaned softly. They stepped away from each other as they both spotted a small group of vampires making their way towards them. "Just when I thought it'd be a slow night tonight."

"Newbies," Faith said quietly as she pulled her stake out from the back of her jeans. "Easy as cake."

"They should be fighting them, not us," Buffy said angrily as the taller of the vampires charged at her. "I am so requesting a temporary retirement soon."

Faith laughed as she took on two vampires with ease. A few kicks, a few jabs, and she staked them quickly, not in the mood to mess around. She stepped back and watched as Buffy kicked the vampire facing her square in the jaw just as Carmen and Jessie ran over to help out. It was just a few seconds before ten vampires had them surrounded. Faith's heart was beating quickly, her whole body charged up with adrenaline and she couldn't wait to get through them all, one by one.

Ten against four Slayers, two of which had super-strength. To anyone else it wouldn't seem like an easy fight, but Faith knew it would be. She didn't even have to try. Neither did Buffy, but she could see that Buffy was actually having fun toying with the vampires that dared think they could take her. Jessie and Carmen held their own, which wasn't surprising to Faith in the least. She knew they were trained well and that they could defend themselves if they found themselves cornered. The last three weeks of training was showing and she tried not to look too impressed and proud of them as the two of them staked the last two vampires standing.

"See what happens when you two put your differences aside?" Faith asked, her tone mocking and full of sarcasm as she watched Jessie and Carmen shoot each other a look. "And damn, girls, if looks could kill you'd both be dead right about now."

"Whatever," Carmen nearly growled as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Just because she looked out for my back doesn't mean we're cool now."

"No, it doesn't," Faith replied as she moved to step in between them, feeling that they both were about to take a charge at one another. "But it's somethin' to work from. Fuckin' stupid to be fighting and hatin' on each other the way you two been. I'll tell ya that in the end, it's definitely not worth it."

"They need to figure that out for themselves," Buffy interjected as she reached for Faith's hand and pulled her away from the two of them. "Come on, we don't have time for this. We have to check the rest of the cemetery and move to the next. I really don't want to spend my Saturday night babysitting."

"Then don't. Leave," Carmen snapped. "I can check the other cemetery and Jessie can stay here. As long as she stays out of my way..."

"Sorry, 'fraid it doesn't work that way," Faith said firmly, the authority in her tone scaring her a little, but she didn't let it be shown. "Ya heard what Giles said—this sitch has to be dealt with and us leavin' you two alone isn't gonna deal with it."

"We can't force them to get along," Buffy whispered to her once Carmen and Jessie walked off.

"No we can't, but we can try to help 'em get there," Faith replied, smirking as she pulled Buffy in close to her. "I'm just tired of their fuckin' attitude problems, B. They're hot for each other and once they realize that..."

"God," Buffy laughed as she laced her fingers through Faith's hair and pulled her in as if she was going to kiss her, stopping short just a hairsbreadth away. "You might be right. Attraction can be fatal at times, especially when you don't want to feel the way you do."

"Somethin' ya know first hand, huh?"

"Maybe."

Faith laughed and planted a soft kiss on her lips, lingering for a moment before pulling away slowly. She always found Buffy to be more beautiful than ever under the soft light of a half moon in the middle of a cemetery. There was just something about the atmosphere that made something in her shine. She couldn't even imagine what it'd be like if they were two completely normal human beings. She knew if they were, they'd never be together, they would've never even met. Two different people from two very different walks of life. It really got her thinking too about all the what ifs and she _hated_ when she started thinking that way. All she wanted was to live in the now, to live in each moment as it came and went.

"Wanna ditch 'em?" Faith asked softly as she closed her eyes, concentrating only on the feel of Buffy's fingers gently stroking the nape of her neck.

"First you don't want to and now you do?"

"Only got one thing on my mind now."

"You always have that on your mind," Buffy laughed as she shook her head. "If it were up to you, it's all we'd ever do."

"Technically it really is all we ever do."

"Technically."

"Let's just get patrol over with," Faith said after a moment, reluctantly forcing herself to drop her arms from around Buffy and step back. "If it ain't too late by the time we finish, we're goin' out like we planned to. I need to just fuckin' dance and lose myself in the music for a couple hours."

Buffy nodded in agreement as they started walking down the path, trying to catch up with Carmen and Jessie who were now in the middle of a rather heated argument. Just what they were arguing about, Faith didn't know nor did she care as she pulled Jessie away from Carmen before she could throw a punch her way. It was going to be one hell of a long patrol. With the way things were going, Faith knew that by the time patrol did finish it'd be too late to hit up a club and dance for a couple of hours. That alone was making her angry and she could only hold it back so much before she'd retaliate and let the two of them know that it was time to grow the fuck up and get over their differences, whatever their differences were.

She calmed down only when she looked over at Buffy and found herself feeling at ease with the smile Buffy flashed at her. Over and over in her head, she thought of one thing: How happy she was that Buffy had come back and that they were getting back to the way things had been before. And the scariest thought ran through her mind as the four of them began walking through the cemetery together in silence. She thought of how she'd love nothing more than to marry Buffy, to make their relationship solid and real, even more so than it already was.

It scared her because she'd never imagined having thoughts of marriage before, not even with Buffy, and now it was all that she wanted. She wasn't sure if it was what Buffy wanted either, but she had a feeling she might just feel the same way. If not now, eventually.

* * *

Faith was still awake when the sun rose the next morning. Buffy had gone to sleep as soon as they'd gotten back from patrol, her body still not adjusted from the jet lag she was suffering from. It gave Faith too much time alone to think and she knew how dangerous that could be if she let herself be alone for too long. As soon as she heard sounds in Kennedy's apartment, she was over there knocking on the door.

"Morning," Kennedy muttered groggily as she opened the door and let Faith inside. "Before you say anything, let me ask you what the hell you are doing awake so goddamn early?"

"Haven't slept."

"Makes sense," she replied with a short laugh. "Coffee?"

"Already had a pot, could use some more."

"Satsu is still sleeping," Kennedy said as they made their way to the kitchen. "Had a long night."

"Fuckin' all night will do that to ya," Faith chuckled as she leaned against the counter and watched as Kennedy sleepily made her way to the coffeepot that was nearly finished brewing. "Things are going pretty good between you two, huh?"

"Better than it ever was with Will. Don't get me wrong," she said as she poured them each a cup of coffee, "Will was great, but I fell in love with her way too fast. We weren't right for each other. I didn't even realize that until Satsu came here."

"I got somethin' I need to talk to ya about," Faith said as she took her mug off the counter and followed Kennedy out onto the balcony.

"What's up?"

"It's kinda huge."

"How huge?"

"Marriage huge."

Kennedy's jaw dropped open and her eyes went wide as she sat down on the plastic chair slowly. "Marriage? You want to ask Buffy to marry you?"

"Yeah. Crazy, ain't it?"

"A little, yeah."

"I dunno where this whole idea came from, all I know is I want this with her."

"And this has nothing to do with the fact that she just left for three weeks?"

Faith shrugged as she took a tentative sip of her hot coffee. "Maybe. I dunno, Ken. I'm in love with her, I'm happier than I've ever been in my life and I just...I want everything I never thought I'd want before and I want it with her."

"And let me guess," Kennedy smirked as she leaned back in the chair and stared up at Faith. "You are gonna ask me to be your best man, huh?"

"Of course. Who else would I ask?"

"Xander?"

"He and I aren't close like we are and you being my best man is a no brainer," Faith replied and she shuddered as she realized how real her thoughts of marrying Buffy were becoming. "I don't even know if she'll say yes."

"Of course she will. She'd be crazy not to! She loves you, Faith. It might be pretty quick between you two but you got all this loaded history with each other."

"Right," she sighed as she lowered her eyes to her mug. "It is too quick, ain't it? I should wait a few months, shouldn't I?"

"Asking the wrong girl, Faith. I've never been close to ever feeling that way with anyone I've been with. All I know is," Kennedy said, pausing as she took a deep breath and stifled a yawn, "if it feels right, then do it. Ask her. The worst that could happen is her saying no and you and I both know she won't say no."

"This is kinda crazy," Faith said softly, laughing as she looked out at the cloudless sky. "Three months ago we weren't even together and now I want to ask her to marry me, spend the rest of our lives together. But it does feel right, Ken. That's the crazy part. It feels so goddamn right."

"What's going on?" Satsu asked as she walked out onto the balcony with a cup of coffee and sat down in the chair next to Kennedy. "What the hell are you doing here so early, Faith?"

"She's going to ask Buffy to marry her," Kennedy said excitedly. "Isn't that great?"

"Wow, so soon?"

"Yeah," Faith nodded. "I really am crazy and it really is too soon, ain't it?"

"No," Kennedy said before Satsu could put in her two-cents. "I told you, if it feels right, do it. Ask her. And as your future best man, I plan to throw you one hell of a bachelorette party!"

"Are you going to buy her a ring?" Satsu asked. "Or have you already bought her one?"

"Was thinkin' of taking the non-traditional route, do somethin' different, but Buffy is this girly chick so maybe a ring might be the right way to go. Somethin' simple, ya know?" Faith said. She shrugged, trying to push down the nerves she didn't think she'd ever have. "Shit, I can't believe this. This whole thing just kinda hit me outta nowhere and it's all I been thinkin' about since last night."

Satsu laughed as she shook her head. "You've got it bad for Buffy. I think it's sweet, though. Kenny, you think we'll ever have what they have?"

"We'll have something close to what they have," she smiled and they shared a light kiss. "But nobody can touch what Buffy and Faith have. It's deeper than true love. They are each other's halves and it only took them what, five years to figure that out?"

"Somethin' like that," Faith laughed. "I'd appreciate it if you two kept this on the down-low for a couple days. Gonna figure out how and when to ask her. Wanna do it right."

"Nobody will hear about this," Kennedy promised and she stood up and hugged Faith tight. "Just tell me everything once it happens. I want to know every last detail...unless you two end up fucking afterwards. Don't really want too many details on that."

Faith felt like she was stuck in some kind of a dream as Kennedy and Satsu started talking about her and Buffy getting married, about how they could keep it fairly low-key and just have those be there that are closest to them. Faith could barely get a word in between the two of them and by the time all was said and done, the younger lovebirds practically had it all planned out for them. It was scary, just a little, but she was also excited. She almost couldn't wait to find a ring for Buffy and ask her to marry her. It was just Buffy's reaction she was worried about. She knew that Buffy was in love with her, but what she didn't know was if Buffy loved her enough to want to marry her one day. One day being soon since the life of a Slayer was never really long at all.

She went back to her apartment after she had a second cup of coffee with Kennedy and Satsu. Buffy was awake and in the kitchen with Dawn when she walked through the door. She ignored Dawn and walked right up to Buffy and wrapped her arms around her, smiling like a fool as she leaned in for a kiss. Buffy laughed softly before their lips met and she kissed her long and deep, not caring that Dawn was sitting right there and trying not to watch them.

"Morning," Buffy whispered once the kiss ended between them. "I was wondering where you went off to."

"Was over talking to Ken and Satsu."

"I figured," she smiled as she made no move to unwrap herself from Faith's tight embrace. "Are you hungry?"

"When am I not?"

Buffy laughed as she leaned in for another kiss, keeping it short and sweet before she pulled away. Faith just watched as Buffy pulled out the pancake mix and busied herself trying to get breakfast started. With the frame of mind she was in this morning, just watching Buffy made her whole body tingle in anticipation of a lifetime of chill mornings together. She couldn't even wipe the goofy grin off her face as she watched Buffy. She still ignored Dawn and that look she was giving both of them, a look that was borderline annoyed yet happy for them at the same time. Happy that they'd found the happiness one could only wish for between the two of them.

Faith wondered if it was the lack of sleep that was making her act this way, more so than what she was becoming used to. Talking to Kennedy and Satsu about wanting to marry Buffy had made it completely real—scary, too, but very real—and now it was all she could think about. She wished that Dawn wasn't there so she could tell Buffy to forget about breakfast and whisk her away into the bedroom. The urge to have a cigarette made her whole body shake and she slipped out to the balcony without a word and quickly lit the last cigarette in the pack.

She wondered what Angel would think about where her and Buffy's relationship was headed. She knew how he felt before, but Angelus was influencing him so she wasn't sure what he _really_ did think about the two of them being together. She tried not to think about Angel, though—as hard as it was—because thinking of him brought back those fresh memories of what she had to do. It shot through her heart like an arrow or a stake and it was pain she'd rather not deal with. She had a lot of other things on her mind and she didn't need thoughts of Angel derailing her and pulling her into a depressive, closed off mood.

"Did you want to be alone?" Dawn asked as she opened the door.

"Nah, just came out for a smoke," Faith replied as she leaned against the railing and took another drag of her cigarette. "What's up, Dawnie?"

"You okay?"

"Course I am, why wouldn't I be?"

"You're acting weird, Faith."

"Am I?"

"Yeah," Dawn laughed as she sat down in the chair closest to the door. "You and Buffy are doing okay, right?"

"Sure."

"I thought that her being gone for three weeks might have changed things between you two."

"Nah," Faith shrugged. "I mean I missed her and all, but you know, she had to do what she had to do. Who was I to stop her?"

"She wouldn't shut up about you the whole time we were there," Dawn laughed as she shook her head. "I think I know you more than you think I do because of Buffy."

"So my badass rep is destroyed, huh?" Faith asked, winking as Dawn just laughed again.

"Destroyed completely, but don't worry, the secrets are all safe with me."

"Secrets?"

"Oh, you know, just little things like how sweet you really are with Buffy. She kept saying how she didn't understand why it took you two so long to have what you have now," Dawn said, pausing thoughtfully before continuing. "Things like that take time. You two had things to work out on your own before you could be together. You know something, Faith?"

"What?"

"I really thought you two would've hooked up that first night after we left Sunnydale. But with Robin dying and everything, it just wasn't meant to happen right then."

Faith nodded and took another long drag of her cigarette. She hadn't talked or even thought about Robin in quite some time and despite never having deep feelings for him, just thinking about him now kind of tore her apart inside. He'd given her hope and in a way he'd broken down her walls, allowing Buffy in once Buffy was ready to try. She knew Buffy enough to know that she wasn't one to emotionally connect with just anyone. She wasn't either and it made her laugh just a little to realize in another way just how similar they really were.

"Can I ask you something? You don't have to answer or anything," Dawn said after a moment, and Faith just shrugged and waited for her to continue. Dawn looked back inside to make sure Buffy wasn't near to hear before she leaned towards Faith. "Are you two going to, you know, ever get married or anything?"

"Maybe," Faith said, hiding her surprise. "Been thinkin' of asking her."

"Seriously?" Dawn asked, her voice squealing from being so excited. "Are you serious, Faith?"

"Yeah."

"And you aren't freaking out about it?"

"No," she replied, and shrugged again. "Maybe a little. God, I can't believe I'm talking to you about this."

"I can't believe it either. Keep thinking you've done a body swap with another Faith or something," Dawn chuckled as Faith crushed her cigarette out in the ashtray and sat down on the chair next to her. "You haven't even mentioned anything about this to Buffy, have you?"

"No. Ken and Satsu know, though."

"They do?"

"Yeah," Faith said as she let out a sigh. "Kinda dangerous for me to be awake all night and thinkin' about this kinda shit."

"This is just...wow..." Dawn said softly as she shook her head in slight amazement. "Almost completely unexpected."

"I know."

They both laughed and Faith relaxed as best as she could when she heard Buffy coming towards the door. It didn't surprise her at all to find that Willow was right there with her. Willow always seemed to be _right_ there. it made her feel a little paranoid that maybe she'd been listening in earlier when she'd been at Kennedy's without her even knowing it. If Willow did know anything, she didn't show it and Faith let those paranoid thoughts drop as she grabbed on to Buffy and pulled her down onto her lap. Out of the corner of her eye, she could have sworn she saw a rather dreamy look in Dawn's eyes before she got up and talked Willow into coming with her, giving the two of them some much appreciated time alone.

"What were you two talking about?" Buffy asked softly as she ran her fingers lightly over Faith's jaw before tucking her hair behind her ears.

"Nothin' interesting, B."

"You are such a bad liar."

"I know," Faith smirked. "It's nothin', B. Really."

Buffy could only glare at her and she knew Buffy didn't believe her. She was a bad liar; at least she was now when it came to Buffy. After all the time they'd spent together it was almost as if Buffy could sniff out those lies or the lack of truth right away. It wasn't that she wanted to lie to her; she just needed a bit of time to figure out a way to ask Buffy to marry her without dropping any kind of hints along the way. It was crazy to her too because before Willow had died, marriage had been the very last thought on her mind. At the time she'd thought she was so far away from feeling that way. Everything had turned itself around on her in an instant.

She almost started to panic with the thoughts running rampant through her mind, but she calmed herself down and breathed in and out slowly, focusing only on getting completely lost in Buffy's eyes. It seemed to work until Buffy slapped her across the arm and raised an eyebrow at her.

"What the hell, B?"

"Did you hear a word I just said?"

"You were talking?"

"I asked you if you wanted to go out today."

"And do what?"

"I don't know, just go out. We never just go out."

"You're gonna say the 'S' word, aren't you?"

"Maybe."

"There's only one 'S' word I wanna hear right now," Faith chuckled as she wiggled her eyebrows and leaned in for a kiss only to be denied. "What? What'd I say?"

"Always about sex, Faith."

"Always," she smirked, then flinched when Buffy moved her hand as if she was going to slap her arm again. "Oh come on, like you don't think about it all the time too, B."

"Are you going to go on some speech about how it's been three weeks and that we've got a lot of making up to do?"

"Damn right we got a lot of making up to do. Got a lot of fuckin' to do too."

Buffy rolled her eyes, but Faith caught her trying to hide the smirk that slipped out. Despite the heat that was rapidly becoming nearly unbearable, Faith held Buffy close to her and rested her chin upon her shoulder. Buffy squirmed around a little on her lap until Faith let go of her and found herself being pulled to her feet instantly.

"What gives?"

"Go get into some clean clothes and meet me downstairs in ten minutes," Buffy said sternly, still trying to keep the smirk off her face. "And no, we aren't spending the day shopping. Maybe for some food for later but..."

"Food shopping I can do," Faith chuckled as she let Buffy push her inside and towards the bedroom. "Come on, B. Don't rush me."

"We're wasting the day away doing nothing."

"Ain't never heard ya complain about that before."

"Maybe things have changed," Buffy said pointedly as she pushed Faith the last little bit of the way into the bedroom. Faith grabbed on to her and pulled her into the bedroom with her, instantly backing her up against the wall. "Faith...not now."

Faith didn't say anything as she leaned in close, her lips barely brushing against Buffy's as she took in a deep breath. If Buffy really didn't want to she'd have pushed her away, yet she succumbed to her advances just as she always did. Buffy was powerless when it came to Faith, and Faith knew she couldn't make a habit out of taking advantage of Buffy's weakness, though sometimes it was damn close. She didn't want their relationship to turn into something like that.

"Sure ya don't wanna just stay here, B?"

"I'm sure."

"As sure as I am that I can convince ya otherwise?" Faith asked as she popped the button on her jean shorts and teasingly ran her fingers over Buffy's stomach, watching her suck in a deep breath as she waited for Faith's fingers to dip under the waistband of her panties.

She used her own legs to nudge Buffy's apart a little more as she slipped her hand inside her panties, teasing her as she refused to go lower. Buffy gripped onto her arm tightly as she slid her eyes shut. Faith knew that maybe she really was using Buffy's weakness to her own advantage, but from the way things were going and from how wet she felt Buffy was for her as she dipped her fingers lower, teasing her clit for a half a second, she knew Buffy wanted it as much as she did.

"Maybe..." Buffy breathed out as Faith teased her hole as she stared intensely at Buffy, wishing she'd open her eyes. "Maybe we can put off going out until later."

"Damn right we can put it off 'til later."

"Faith, if we had it your way, we'd never leave the bedroom," Buffy laughed as she opened her eyes and looked at her. "And sometimes that's not an entirely bad thing either."

"Knew you'd see it my way, B."

"But..." Buffy trailed off as she reluctantly pulled Faith's hand out of her panties and intertwined their fingers together. "But I want to go out today, Faith."

"Fine, baby, we'll go out," she muttered under her breath as she took a step back, letting go of Buffy's hand and watching her as she buttoned up her shorts. "You still ain't gonna tell me where we're goin', are ya?"

"Nope."

Faith let out an almost whining groan that made her sound about five years old. It just made Buffy laugh as she slipped out of the bedroom, sending one last glare back at Faith that told her she meant what she'd said before. She groaned again and changed into clean clothes. She took her time getting ready and met Buffy downstairs twenty minutes later. She didn't need to ask, she knew what that look in Buffy's eyes was. There was a surprise and Buffy knew that she would absolutely love it. She did have her doubts—it was Buffy after all and there were just some things she wasn't sure how to take when it came to her.

Buffy didn't say a word to her as she took her hand and led her outside. They walked around to the parking lot, Buffy handing Faith a set of keys as they reached an Escalade that appeared to be Perry's. Or at least its twin. She raised an eyebrow but took the keys anyway and they got into the SUV.

"I borrowed it from Perry," Buffy said as soon as they had closed the doors. "He told me I couldn't drive it."

"Found out what a horrible driver you are, huh?"

"That and I don't have a license."

"And I do?"

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh. What'd you think, B? That somehow I managed to get my license while I was in prison?"

"I just thought...never mind."

"B, I do have a license," Faith chuckled softly. "I just have to renew it. Might be able to get away with not getting pulled over today, though, depending on where you're planning to go. And since I'm driving, you do kinda need to tell me that."

"Can't I just tell you when to turn?"

Faith laughed again before starting the vehicle and driving out of the parking lot. She turned whenever Buffy told her to turn until they found they were lost in a part of the city where neither of them had ever been before. Faith, being as stubborn as she was, refused to ask for directions and after a very frustrating hour of driving in circles, she found her way back to the roads she knew better than the back of her hand. She needed a cigarette but reached for Buffy's hand instead, ignoring the craving that made her skin feel as if it were crawling and gnawing at her.

It was over three hours before Faith pulled into a small dirt parking lot by the lake. It was completely deserted despite it being the middle of summer. They got out and Faith walked down the sand towards the water and looked out at the boats that lined the horizon. Buffy joined her a few minutes later with a blanket and a picnic basket.

"So this was what you planned for today, B? A picnic?"

"Yeah," Buffy smiled over at her as she spread the blanket over the sand and sat down. "Its okay, isn't it?"

"Fuck yeah it is," Faith said as she joined her on the blanket and kicked off her shoes. The trees near them provided just enough shade to make the hot day bearable. "Shoulda just told me ya planned a picnic, B."

"I wanted it to be a surprise."

Faith smiled at her and was mentally kicking herself for not making this day just _that_ much better by having a ring and a speech prepared to ask Buffy to marry her. It seemed like a perfect place and time to do just that. She leaned over for a lingering kiss before she grabbed the picnic basket to check out the food Buffy had brought along. Buffy swatted her hands away from the food and pulled her in for another kiss. It was definitely a great surprise. She knew she couldn't be happier than she was right then.


	44. Chapter 44

Author's Notes: The end is here (finally). I can't tell you how much this story kicked my ass, took my blood, sweat, tears, and hours upon hours of frustration just to write it out until it was done. It isn't an easy feat for me to write a story this long without becoming repetitive and to date this is the longest story (both in fanfic and original fic) that I have written in the half a lifetime I've been writing. I need to give a great shout-out to my beta MikeO for sticking through six months of this with me. Mikey, you helped me create a better story by fixing those pesky grammatical errors I've always had a bit of trouble with and you've helped me become a better writer because I do think (and I hope) I've been learning and growing from said mistakes that I've always made while writing. The chapters have been long, grueling, and I don't think I'll ever write chapters over 6k ever again (or at least for another six months lol). Thanks to the reader's who always reviewed, you guys are great, you kept me going and motivated when I was about to give up on this story completely. And to those readers who never took the time to review, I hope you've enjoyed what you've read :) Onto the next one...

* * *

A week after their picnic date at the beach, Faith found herself in the exact same position as last Sunday. She was sitting on the balcony after not sleeping at all, thinking of Buffy, of a way to ask her to marry her, of the ring she'd bought when Buffy thought she'd gone out shopping for food with Xander and Dawn the day before. She pulled the ring, nestled in its small box, out of her pocket and opened it. The ring was simple—nothing more than a silver band with a small diamond setting. It was cliché, or so Dawn had told her when they stood in the jewellery store for three hours looking at rings, but it suited Buffy.

"I'm really gonna do this," she said to herself softly as she closed the box and slid it back into the front pocket of her jeans. "Shit, I'm really gonna ask her. This is crazy."

"Ask who what?" Buffy asked sleepily as she opened the door and stepped out onto the balcony with a hot cup of coffee in her hands. She walked over to Faith and bent down for a kiss, sighing contentedly as she pulled back and sat next to her. "How come you didn't stay in bed last night?"

"Wasn't tired."

"What were you talking to yourself about?"

"Nothin', B."

"You are making me sound like a broken record," Buffy said softly as she shook her head. "Why do you keep lying to me?"

"I'm not."

"Well you are keeping some big secret from me lately and I really don't like it. I thought it wasn't going to be like this between us?"

"Buffy, it ain't like that and you know it."

Faith could feel the beginnings of a fight brewing and it was the last thing she wanted to happen that morning of all mornings. She closed her eyes when she heard thunder rumbling off in the distance and knew that the day she had planned wasn't going to happen if it rained. Nothing seemed to be going her way and she was trying not to get frustrated and angry over it.

It was so hard for her to keep anything from Buffy anymore. From the time they'd spent together in that world between worlds and afterward, Buffy just knew how to read her too well. In those three weeks they were apart, she'd had a few long talks with Willow about learning to control the empathy that she still had inside of her. She learned she always had some sort of control over it, never able to make others feel the way she does and only feel what the other felt. And now, all she felt was aggravation coming from Buffy and it was making her feel even more frustrated.

"Looks like it's gonna rain," Faith muttered under her breath as she looked out at the dark clouds.

"Yeah...too bad," Buffy sighed as she turned to look at Faith. "I really wanted to go to the beach today."

"Fuckin' ruined my plans."

"What plans?"

"Doesn't matter anymore, B. They're ruined cos of the storm rollin' in."

"How come you can't tell me what's going on, Faith?"

"Cos it's supposed to be a surprise, B," she responded softly as she reached out for Buffy's hand. "If I tell ya, it ain't a surprise, is it?"

"Oh."

Faith chuckled as she relaxed. With the ring in her pocket, she was really nervous, more so than she'd ever felt before in her entire life. Once she did ask Buffy, that was it. It was a life changing question, one that had two answers and only one of which she wanted to hear. She kept thinking how crazy she must be to want something that serious with Buffy, but she knew it was what she wanted. She knew how she felt and she knew how real it was, how deep the love she felt for Buffy was. There was no sense in putting it off for months, years even, if that's how she felt. She only hoped that Buffy felt the same way and wanted the same things she did.

The first drops of rain falling from the sky confirmed that her plans for the day were ruined, and Faith morosely began trying to think of alternate ways to propose. Buffy didn't give her much time to think, though, before she was being pulled inside and towards the bedroom with the blonde's lips relentlessly attacking hers. She tried to keep from getting too close to her, not wanting Buffy to feel the ring box in her pocket. That was the last thing she wanted to happen and she didn't want to have to end up asking her that way. It wasn't romantic. It wasn't the way she'd been envisioning it in her head since she first started thinking of asking her.

As Buffy reached the foot of the bed Faith pulled back and slipped out of her jeans, making sure the box didn't fall out as her jeans hit the floor. Buffy was too busy letting her eyes roam hungrily over her body to notice how nervous she was. Faith tried to shake it off as she pulled off her shirt and pulled Buffy in to her, their lips meeting in a tender yet passionate kiss.

Her hands slid under Buffy's shirt and she broke away from the kiss for mere seconds as she pulled the shirt up and over her head, carelessly tossing it to the floor behind her as her fingers worked on getting Buffy out of her shorts. A low growl escaped her lips when she found Buffy wore nothing underneath her shorts and she tried not to pounce, wanting nothing more than to take her time making sweet love to the woman who held the key to her heart and soul. The rest of her clothes came off in a flash and she gently laid Buffy down on the bed, settling herself between her legs as her lips trailed over Buffy's jaw and neck slowly.

Buffy kept squirming beneath her and she knew that taking it slow definitely would be hard. Not _impossible_, but hard. She trailed her lips and tongue over Buffy's collarbone, taking a moment just to breathe in the scent that was uniquely her. She smelled mostly like the body wash she used in the shower with a hint of something else that Faith never could quite put her finger on. Vanilla possibly, but she knew it wasn't. She stifled the chuckle that dared escape as she slid down her body a little, eyes sweeping over Buffy's breasts as she watched the nipples harden under her gaze. Her own body was reacting and she was trying to suppress the flood of arousal rushing through her entire body. It was all about Buffy right then and there. Her own pleasure, her own needs, could come after she was done worshipping every inch of this petite goddess.

Buffy let out a moan as Faith circled her tongue over her left nipple, teasing it as her fingers trailed lightly over her right breast. Buffy stopped her before she could wrap her lips around her nipple and the brunette looked up at her lover, puzzled.

"What's up, B?"

"I...nothing. Sorry, just thinking."

"Thinking? Now? 'Bout what, B?"

"About us."

Faith knew where this conversation would head and she really didn't want this to happen until later. Preferably _much_ later. She ignored what Buffy had just said and blew over her nipple softly, sighing out as Buffy laced her fingers through her hair and pulled her closer.

"Faith?" Buffy tried again and Faith groaned as she moved up so they were face to face. "Where is this going?"

"What do you mean?"

"I..." Buffy trailed off as she shrugged. "I don't know. I just, I don't know what's going on anymore. I know I'm in love with you, I know you feel the same way, but where is this going?"

"You ask that question in every relationship or somethin', B?"

"No."

"It's going somewhere, that's all I can say right now, B."

"Somewhere?"

"Yeah..."

"Where, Faith?"

Faith groaned in annoyance as she rolled off of Buffy and laid on her back. She closed her eyes as she bit her tongue, trying not to let herself speak without thinking first of what she was going to say. The day wasn't going the way she thought that it would. She'd wanted to take Buffy to the beach and have a nice picnic. A picnic where she'd end up asking her to marry her before she brought out dessert. The rain had put an end to that before it began. Now there was hot spur-of-the-moment sex, which would have gone a long way toward easing her disappointment if that wasn't also now falling apart on her just as it got started. To top it off, Buffy was getting suspicious and insecure. No, her day definitely wasn't going according to plan.

"Buffy, you know I love you. You know how I feel about you. You know I'd do anything for you. I'd even die for you." Since things seemed to be spinning out of control, she figured she might as well just go for it. "If I say where I think this is going, where we are going, you aren't gonna freak, are ya?"

"What are you saying, Faith?"

"I'm sayin'..." she sighed as she took a deep breath and turned to look at her. "I'm sayin' that I wanna spend the rest of my life with you, B, however long the rest of my life might be. And this is so not how I imagined I'd ask you..."

"Ask me what?"

"To spend the rest of our lives together."

"Oh. Wait...are you—"

"Yeah, I am."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah," Faith laughed as she leaned over and reached for her jeans. "Like I said, so not how I imagined this, but y'know...shit happens and all that."

"Faith, did you—"

"Yeah," she laughed again as she pulled out the ring box and opened it as she turned to face Buffy.

"You got me a ring?"

"Course I did, B. It ain't much, but—"

"Yes," Buffy said quickly as she snatched the ring out of the box before Faith could say another word. "And the ring is beautiful, Faith."

"You said yes?"

"What, you thought I'd say no?"

"It was a possibility."

"Are you crazy?"

"Don't ask me that," Faith laughed as she pulled Buffy on top of her as soon as she slipped the ring onto her finger. "And yeah, I might be slightly crazier than I think I am."

"This is so not what I imagined would happen after asking you where this is going."

"Least it answers that question, huh?"

"How long do you want to wait until we tell everyone?"

"Uh, B?" Faith groaned as she closed her eyes, knowing Buffy could be pissed to hear that pretty much everyone already knew.

"They all know, don't they?"

"Yes?" Faith squeaked out, daring not to open her eyes to look at Buffy just yet. "Are you mad?"

"No."

Faith opened her eyes and saw Buffy smiling down at her. Buffy leaned in for a kiss and Faith let herself get lost in the sensation of Buffy's lips and tongue. She spread her legs as Buffy's hips began to roll against her own and they both moaned at the intimate contact. It made Faith's whole body feel as if it were on fire, a feeling she knew she'd never grow tired of feeling with Buffy. She craved that feeling more than she craved air to breathe. Buffy had been her addiction ever since they'd first met, even when they'd fought on different sides, and that addiction made every other need and craving pale in comparison.

Never again would they be on different sides. Only one side existed for them now: Theirs, together. They'd still fight the meaningless fights all couples had at one point or another, fights that would end up with them having wild make up sex that made the whole fight seem incredibly stupid. They would fight whatever big bad or even small bad that came their way. The important thing was that Faith now knew that no matter what they'd always be fighting together.

"Baby, stop thinking," Buffy whispered against her lips.

"Not thinkin'."

"Liar."

"Got me there," Faith laughed huskily as she stared into her eyes, eyes that seemed darker than she'd ever seen them before. "Ya think we could just not say anything right now?"

"Why...oh," Buffy responded, laughing nervously as she completely stilled all movement. "I'm ruining the mood, aren't I?"

"You are, but it ain't like I'm complainin'. Much."

Buffy opened her mouth as if to say something back, but Faith wasn't having any of it now. She silenced her with a searing kiss as she rolled them over slowly. She could hear the rain pounding outside and she could feel Buffy's heart racing in time with hers, nearly being drowned out by the rolling thunder. When Buffy broke away from the kiss to catch her breath, Faith began trailing her lips down her neck, sucking on her pulse point for a moment before continuing onwards, intent on picking up where she'd left off before.

She had to take a few deep breaths to calm herself, to force herself to keep it slow. All she wanted to do was completely devour Buffy and with the way Buffy was moaning and whimpering beneath her it was proving to be really hard to keep some kind of restraint. One thing Buffy had taught her—though the blonde probably didn't even realize it—was how to keep it slow and make it a hundred times better because it wasn't hard and fast each and every single time.

"I could spend the whole day just like this," Faith whispered against her skin, smiling up at her before she slowly circled a hard nipple with her tongue. "In fact, I plan to do just that."

"Not complaining," Buffy chuckled softly.

Faith leaned up for a quick kiss before she trailed her lips down across Buffy's breasts and over her stomach, feeling every muscle ripple beneath her soft touch. Buffy's hands found their way to tangle in her hair as she trailed her tongue over her bellybutton slowly. She ran her hands up Buffy's thighs, spreading her legs wider for her as she moved lower and settled in between her legs. She kissed along the inside of Buffy's thighs, stopping to nip at the skin, marking her just a little, bit by bit. By the time she reached her pussy, Buffy was absolutely dripping for her.

She licked Buffy's pussy, teasing her, then grinned at the soft whimpers as her tongue circled her throbbing clit slowly. She held Buffy's hips down to keep her from bucking against her face as she sucked on her clit. The smaller girl pulled Faith's hands away from her hair and chose to grip onto the sheets as her dark counterpart dragged her tongue down to her hot, wet hole and plunged it as deeply inside of her as she could. She now found it impossible to hold Buffy's hips down, but she kept the tight hold she had on her as she fucked her hole with her tongue in a way she knew would have Buffy screaming incoherently in minutes.

Buffy was purring and Faith could tell she was holding herself back. She could feel herself about to come just from the immense pleasure Buffy was feeling and she did nothing to hold it off as she kept fucking Buffy's hole with her tongue. She could feel a flood of her own arousal drip out as Buffy came, both of them shuddering as their orgasms ripped through them almost violently. Faith removed her tongue from Buffy's clenching hole and licked over her clit lightly before crawling up her body slowly.

"Jesus," Buffy panted as Faith looked down at her with a smile. "How is it that it gets better every single time?"

"Cos it just does," Faith chuckled as she planted a light kiss upon Buffy's slightly parted lips. "Better get used to it, B. You're stuck with me forever now...or for however long you'll have me."

"Forever wouldn't be long enough," Buffy whispered, smiling right back at Faith as she swept her hands down her back slowly. "I love you."

"I love you too, B."

Faith rolled over, pulling Buffy with her so she ended up on top. Buffy knew exactly what she needed, but she looked nearly spent as she took long, deep breaths, trying to regain some of her energy. It wouldn't take too long, it never did. Faith would wait forever for Buffy to come down from her high. She'd wait forever because she knew it was completely worth it. Buffy laid on top of her, her fingers stroking over her arm and shoulder ever so slowly. Faith had one arm around her and the other at her side. It was the perfect moment as she looked down at Buffy as she settled in comfortably on top of her.

"I can't even move right now," Buffy sighed contentedly as she lifted her head from Faith's shoulder to look up at her. "How do you do that?"

"Do what, B?"

"Drain me the way you do."

"What am I, a vampire now?" Faith chuckled as Buffy swatted her over her other shoulder. "I dunno, B. Maybe I'm just the best you ever had and it doesn't take much to knock ya out."

"Oh, you are definitely the best I've ever had," Buffy replied with a smile. "And don't let that go to your head, baby. I can only handle that swelled ego of yours so much."

She laughed as she looked down at Buffy and caught her staring at the ring she'd given her with a faraway look in her eyes. She reached for Buffy's hand and intertwined their fingers as Buffy leaned up and kissed her softly. The storm was still raging outside, but she'd fallen so far into her own little world with Buffy that she hardly even noticed the constant flashes of lightning and rumbling of thunder that shook the building. Even if the world decided to end itself now, she'd die completely happy with the woman she loved in her arms.

* * *

It was nearly dark when Faith emerged from the apartment and headed down to the training room. Buffy was fast asleep when she'd slipped out of bed and she hoped that she'd be able to duck out for an hour or two completely unnoticed by her. The training room was occupied only by Kennedy, who was hitting the bag repeatedly without pausing to take a break or a breath. Faith grabbed two bottles of water from the small fridge and walked over to her, waiting until Kennedy noticed her before tossing a bottle her way.

"About time you decided to come out of your apartment," Kennedy laughed as she stepped away from the bag slowly and opened her bottle of water. "You two been going at it all day, haven't you?"

"Course we have."

"Doesn't surprise me. Satsu and I woke up to hearing you two and well," Kennedy smirked as she and Faith walked over to the plush purple couch along the wall and sat down. "Let's just say she wanted to try and keep up with you two."

"And?"

"And we couldn't. Damn, Faith. You two are just..."

"Insatiable?"

"Something like that," Kennedy replied as she shook her head. "So, did you ask her?"

"I did," Faith smiled. "She said yes."

"And when do you two plan on tying the knot?"

"We never got the chance to talk about that yet."

"Figured as much," Kennedy laughed as she playfully punched Faith in the shoulder. "Have you told Jackie yet?"

"No. I haven't really seen her around lately. She's been busy with Giles and Bryce tryin' to learn all she can about the world we live in and the things that go bump in the night."

"Do you think she'll be happy for you two?"

Faith shrugged but nodded her head at the same time. "Yeah, think so. She kinda knew how we were meant to be together and all that shit pretty much from the start, y'know?"

"It's weird seeing you like this."

"Like what?"

"So happy and so in love. You do realize how contagious it is, don't you?"

They both laughed as Giles, Xander, and Andrew walked into the training room with a few of the younger girls following close behind them. Faith barely had a chance to say 'hey' before Giles pulled her up from the couch and hugged her tightly. It was slightly awkward for all of three seconds that he had her in the tight hug before he backed away and cleared his throat.

"What was that for?"

"For making Buffy unbelievably happy, Faith," he said with a smile. "I find myself almost in disbelief of just how far the two of you have come in such a short time. That you both are...are in love and planning to get married is nothing short of incredible. I must admit that it's the last thing I ever thought would happen between you two."

"So I take it I got your blessings then?" Faith asked, smirking as Xander moved in to hug her too. "Okay guys, enough with the hugging thing. It's all kinds of weird."

"Have you spoken to your mother yet, Faith?" Giles asked her as they all composed themselves. Andrew looked so overwhelmed that he looked as if he were about to burst into tears. Faith could only shake her head no. "She's sitting in the lobby with Bryce having a cup of tea if you're looking for her. I am certain she would love to hear the happy news from you instead of one of us."

"How did you know anyway?"

"Buffy," Xander said before Giles could say a word. "She's with Dawn right now and you know what a big mouth Dawnie has."

"Damn, I've only been down here what, not even ten minutes," Faith chuckled as she ran her fingers through her hair. "Should probably go talk to Jackie, tell her myself."

"Does anyone else find this really weird?" Andrew asked and they all looked at him. "I mean, from what we know, Buffy and Faith had been one-time enemies, never lovers. And now, ever since we've come here, things have changed rapidly. You blink and they are together, blink again and they are trapped in some in between dimension and you blink once more and they are back and totally in love."

"Ya got a problem with that, Andy?" Faith asked, trying to keep from smirking as he quickly shook his head no. "'Sides, what makes it weird? Ain't never had a girlfriend before, have ya?"

"We all know the answer to that question," Kennedy muttered under her breath and Faith found it impossible not to burst out laughing.

"Hey! It's not funny!" Andrew said as he crossed his arms over his chest and frowned. "How do you think I feel with everyone hooking up with each other and there's nobody left for me?"

"Sorry, Andy, nobody here wants to hook up with ya cos you're...well, you," Faith said apologetically as she put her arm around his shoulders. "But I'm sure one of the younger girls would give ya a chance."

The girls that had followed them in there all shrieked and said no at the same time, which in turn made Andrew's face grow red in embarrassment. There had been a lot of similar moments like this in those three weeks that Buffy and Dawn had been off in Italy and Faith couldn't have felt more at home, more of a part of a family, than she did in moments like that. It was a great feeling, one she knew she'd never have to worry about losing ever again. This was her family, her friends. She loved them all and she had no doubt in her mind that they all felt the same way about her. She did wonder if it'd be this way if she and Buffy had never ended up together, but that was something she'd never know.

She left them all there in the training room, ducking out at the first opportunity as Giles got the younger girls to pair up for a round of training before everyone would call it a night. She found Jackie where Giles had told her she would. Jackie was sitting in her usual chair, talking quietly to Bryce while they both sipped on their tea. Faith grabbed one of the graham crackers off the tray on the coffee table as she sat down in the chair next to Jackie. She didn't have to say anything to Bryce, all she had to do was shoot him a look that told him she wanted to talk to Jackie alone and he got up and left.

"Hello, Faith," Jackie smiled warmly. "I hear rumblings that you have some good news to share?"

"I do," she said as she smiled back at her. "I asked Buffy to marry me."

"Did you really?" Jackie asked, pleasantly surprised to hear the news. "Did she say yes? Wait, of course she said yes. Didn't she?"

"She did," Faith beamed.

"Congratulations, Faith. I am very happy you two have found something so deep, so real, and so lasting between you two. I could tell during that time we spent together that you two had something that would end up this way, but I didn't want to scare you off by trying to talk to you about it. I figured if you really are anything like me that you'd need to figure things out on your own and in your own time. I am so very proud of you, Faith."

Faith didn't realize she was crying until Jackie reached over and gently wiped away the tears for her. Everything felt like it was happening so fast and she knew it was, but it also felt very right to be experiencing all that she was. Coming to Cleveland with everyone had been the best decision she'd ever made in her life. Making that decision got her a family, it got her Buffy, and it got her a mother she'd thought was dead and gone as well. The only thing she wished never had happened was everything with Angel. He didn't deserve to go out the way he had, by her hand—and with little more than a whimper rather than the grand bang which would have befitted a champion. She was crying tears of happiness, but also tears of sadness to know that Angel would never be around again and that he would never know just how she truly loved Buffy with all her heart and soul.

She wondered if he'd tell her this was part of her redemption, to win the love of the woman she thought she hated before. She wondered what Robin would have thought if he were still alive. She knew they would have had something together before she and Buffy ended up together, one way or another, and she knew she would have never loved him quite the same way she'd fallen in love with Buffy. She barely even knew him, but she had a feeling he'd be nothing but happy for her and Buffy to have found what they now had together.

She found it utterly crazy to have changed so much in such a short time. Buffy had brought out a side of her she never knew existed and she wouldn't have it any other way. She didn't mind being such a sap, she didn't mind being so emotional, and she really didn't mind being able to feel and understand everything that everyone else was going through either. She had grown into being a better person in the three and a half months since they defeated the First and left behind the hole in the ground that was Sunnydale. She'd grown into being the person she always wanted to be, the person she wondered if she even _could_ be, the person she had never in her life believed she would be.

She had her whole life ahead of her—a life with Buffy, a life with her family. She wasn't sure how long that life would be or what evil thing would be the next to get itself dead by trying to threaten it, but she sure couldn't wait to find out.

Faith stood outside on the balcony alone, watching the sunrise. After a day and almost an entire night of rain, it was almost as if she was watching the dawn of a new world coming awake. For the second night in a row she hadn't slept and despite being so exhausted, she'd never felt more alive.

"Morning," Buffy whispered as she stepped out onto the balcony. Faith turned around, smiling as she wrapped her arms around Buffy and held her close. "You do know you need to sleep sometime, right?"

"Workin' on it, B."

"You okay?"

"Never better."

Buffy smiled as she leaned in for a kiss, a kiss that was so passionate, so full of love, that it made Faith weak in the knees and her heart race wildly as if she'd just ran around the world and back. She felt the tears of happiness stinging her eyes and she kept them closed as she pulled back from the kiss and leant her forehead against Buffy's while taking a deep breath.

"Come to bed, baby," Buffy whispered against her lips as she slipped her hands under Faith's shirt.

"Can we just stay out here for another minute?"

"Sure."

"You make me so happy, Buffy," Faith said softly as she opened her eyes and let the few tears fall, no longer able to hold them back. "You've changed me so much. Sometimes I can't believe who I am now."

"You've always been this way, Faith. You just never believed in yourself enough that you could be who you are now. It wasn't just me who helped you see that. It was everyone. It was yourself."

"Robin said something to me on the bus shortly before he died," she said softly, closing her eyes again as she sucked in a deep breath. "He told me that not everyone was gonna screw me over in the end and that I had to have a little bit of faith in others if I wanted to know what it's like to fall in love. He told me that we all make mistakes and that we all push each other away, but that's what makes us human. All too human. He made me realize there's more to me than just being a Slayer, than just being someone who made so many mistakes in life that I couldn't find the right path that I needed to be on."

"He was right. Who knew the guy had so much wisdom in him?" Buffy said with a soft laugh. "I'm so happy you finally figured it out, Faith."

"Figured out what?"

"That you are worth it. That you are worthy of being in love and worthy of being the best person you could ever be. We all make mistakes; I know I've made my share of them. It's learning from them, growing and moving on, that makes you a better person. It doesn't matter what's in your past anymore, Faith. The only thing that matters is what'll be in the future."

"You are my future, Buffy. I wouldn't...no, I couldn't have come this far so damn fast if it wasn't for you."

"It's a good thing I grew some balls and kissed you that night then, isn't it?"

"Hell yeah," Faith grinned as she planted a soft kiss on Buffy's lips. "Also a good thing they're just metaphorical balls, cos hello...kinda disturbing."

Buffy laughed as she playfully swatted her across the shoulder. "I love you, Faith. I love everything about you. I even love how you lost yourself years ago, how you turned against us only to finally find your way back to the right side. The side you've always been on, just..."

"Lost faith that I wasn't good enough to be on that side?"

"Yeah."

"Never again, B. Never again. I know what side I belong on now and whose side I need to stand next to. Yours."

"And if you ever try to back away," Buffy said with a tone that meant she was serious. "I will kick your ass back into reality so hard you won't be able to sit right for a week."

"Gettin' all domestically violent on me already, B? We ain't even married yet!"

"Shut up, you know exactly what I mean."

Faith laughed again as she just stared deeply into Buffy eyes. Eyes that she could forever get lost in and yet always see the other half of her soul looking right back at her. Everything was falling into place now in her life and in everyone else's.

This was a beginning, just like the fight against the First had been an end and a beginning all wrapped into one. This was the beginning of the rest of her life, a life she'd be spending with Buffy at her side and with the others as a part of the family she always wished she had.

And she no longer had to wish for it. She had it and she was sure as hell going to make sure that everything stayed this way, come hell or high water. She might be a Slayer, super Slayer at that, but she was still human. All too human.

The End


End file.
